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Boulder County ’s Tr ue Independent Voice / FREE / www.boulder weekly.com / September 29 - October 5, 2016

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contents NEWS:

The curation of discovery

by Rico Moore

10

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NEWS:

Boulder County nonprofit’s website makes it easier for possibly suicidal students to access care

by Caitlin Rockett

OCTOBER BOOT SALE STARTS FRIDAY, OCTOBER 1ST!

Denver-based mining company accused of attacking Peruvian farmer

by Angela K. Evans

17

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BOULDERGANIC:

How nearby oil and gas development may be impacting visitation to national parks and monuments

by Emma Murray

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ADVENTURE:

Matchstick Production’s ‘Ruin and Rose’ asks hard questions while showcasing skiing’s best action

by Tom Winter

24

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BUZZLEAD:

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departments 5 THE HIGHROAD: Scott Walker, Home Depot, Donnie Trump and the Supreme Court 6 GUEST COLUMN: Vote YES for minimum wage increase 6 THE DANISH PLAN: Why roads matter 7 LETTERS: Signed, sealed, delivered, your views 31 OVERTONES: Lindsey Stirling is ‘Brave Enough’ 32 ARTS & CULTURE: BETC and The Dairy are back; Catamounts christen the Carsen 39 BOULDER COUNTY EVENTS: What to do and where to go 45 POETRY: by Elise Hempel 46 SCREEN: No pardoning this ‘Snowden’; There are seven people in ‘Mag 7’ 49 DEEP DISH: Brasserie Ten Ten serves up a bouillabaisse that impresses 56 DRINK: Tour de Brew: Avery Brewing Co. 61 ASTROLOGY: by Rob Brezsny 63 S AVAGE LOVE: Cheaters 65 WEED BETWEEN THE LINES: Wholesale cannabis prices drop 40 percent 67 CANNABIS CORNER: Pot legalization: Good news from California 69 IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: An irreverent view of the world Boulder Weekly

September 29, 2016 3

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staff

commentary

Publisher, Stewart Sallo Editor, Joel Dyer Associate Publisher, Fran Zankowski Director of Operations/Controller, Benecia Beyer Circulation Manager, Cal Winn EDITORIAL Senior Editor, Angela K. Evans Entertainment Editor, Amanda Moutinho Special Editions Editor, Caitlin Rockett Contributing Writers: Peter Alexander, Dave Anderson, Rob Brezsny, Michael J. Casey, Gavin Dahl, Paul Danish, James Dziezynski, Sarah Haas, Jim Hightower, Dave Kirby, Michael Krumholtz, Brian Palmer, Leland Rucker, Dan Savage, Alan Sculley, Ryan Syrek, Gregory Thorson, Christi Turner, Tom Winter, Gary Zeidner, Mollie Putzig, Mariah Taylor, Betsy Welch, Noël Phillips, Carolyn Oxley, Grant Stringer, Billy Singleton Interns: Claire Woodcock, Zach Evens SALES AND MARKETING Retail Sales Manager, Allen Carmichael Senior Account Executive, David Hasson Account Executive, Julian Bourke Market Development Manager, Kellie Robinson Inside Sales Representative, Jason Myers Marketing Manager, Laura Wilder Mrs. Boulder Weekly, Mari Nevar PRODUCTION Production Manager, Dave Kirby Art Director, Susan France Graphic Designer, Mark Goodman Assistant to the Publisher Julia Sallo Office Manager/Advertising Assistant Becca Raccone CIRCULATION TEAM Dave Hastie, Dan Hill, George LaRoe, Jeffrey Lohrius, Elizabeth Ouslie, Rick Slama 16-Year-Old, Mia Rose Sallo

September 29, 2016 Volume XXIV, Number 8 As Boulder County's only independently owned newspaper, Boulder Weekly is dedicated to illuminating truth, advancing justice and protecting the First Amendment through ethical, no-holdsbarred journalism and thought-provoking opinion writing. Free every Thursday since 1993, the Weekly also offers the county's most comprehensive arts and entertainment coverage. Read the print version, or visit www.boulderweekly.com. Boulder Weekly does not accept unsolicited editorial submissions. If you're interested in writing for the paper, please send queries to: editorial@boulderweekly.com. Any materials sent to Boulder Weekly become the property of the newspaper.

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the

Highroad Scott Walker, Home Depot, Donnie Trump and the Supreme Court

by Jim Hightower

Boulder Weekly welcomes your correspondence via email (letters@ boulderweekly.com) or the comments section of our website at www.boulderweekly.com.

Preference will be given to short letters (under 300 words) that deal with recent stories or local issues, and letters may be edited for style, length and libel.

Letters should include your name, address and telephone number for verification. We do not publish anonymous letters or those signed with pseudonyms. Letters become the property of Boulder Weekly and will be published on our website.

Boulder Weekly

I

n a mind-boggling trick, some magicians levitate themselves. But remember, the key word in “magic trick” — is trick.

Scott Walker, for example, is quite the political trickster. This right-wing extremist became so unpopular in his first term as Wisconsin’s governor that he faced a recall election in 2012. Yet, he seemed to

rise in front of our very eyes, magically lifting himself above the public’s anger to avoid defeat. How’d he do that?

As reported by The Guardian, some 1,500 secret emails, court testimonies and financial records were recently uncovered, revealing that Walker had a hidden lifeline of corporate cash hoisting him up. Despite a Wisconsin law specifically prohibiting corporations from funding political candidates, millions of those banned dollars were pumped into the guv.

The trick is that the corporate checks were sent to supposedly independent political outfits that — thanks to the Supreme Court’s ridiculous Citizens United decree — are allowed to take unlimited campaign funds from corporations without disclosing the names of the donors — provided that the independent groups do not in any way coordinate their electoral efforts with the campaign of the candidates they

For more information on Jim Hightower’s work — and to subscribe to his award-winning monthly newsletter, The Hightower Lowdown — visit www.jimhightower.com.

want to elect.

Even if obeyed, this farcical rule essentially sanctions organized corporate corruption, but Walker & Company didn’t even try to obey it.

Rather the governor asked everyone from the Koch brothers to Home Depot to Donnie Trump to funnel checks to the “independent” political groups backing him. He wrote personal thank you notes to the donors, and even had his media strategist handle the ads for both his campaign and the groups. Scott Walker, his front groups, and his corporate donors aren’t a magic act — they’re debouched thieves, stealing our democracy to impose their plutocracy over us.

This opinion column does not necessarily reflect the views of Boulder Weekly.

September 29, 2016 5

guest column Vote YES for minimum wage increase

by Bob Norris

M

y personal view has been that, when we do not pay a living wage, children and families suffer from food insecurity, substandard housing and inability to participate in many things that others do. All of us pay in the end. Eventually, we pay a bigger price when lack of nutritious food leads to under performance at school. Continued low wages result in having the tax payer subsidizing the low-wage-paying employers because of the need for public benefits.

The minimum wage was created to keep people out of poverty but is not currently high enough to accomplish that. Currently the minimum wage will not keep a single person with no dependents out of poverty. With children to support it is an even worse situation. I find it unsettling that too many do not share my concern that supporting conditions that result in people living in poverty is not consistent with the views of any religion.

The current minimum wage of $8.31 results in an annual income of about $17,000. With the increasing rents and other costs, this is not enough to get by. This forces many parents to work two or more full time jobs to support their children. As a result, parents have less time to spend with their children and are tired when they do.

I find it disturbing that legislators that oppose increases in the minimum wage, even for cities that would like to increase the minimum wage within city limits, also oppose bills that would provide relief for workers that are not paid all of the wages they earned or in many cases not paid at all. (I am sometimes amused by those that preach local control until it is not consistent with their views.)

The most common argument against raising the minimum wage is a false argument. Research using scientific methods consistently shows that increasing the minimum wage as proposed does not have a negative impact on jobs even in the industries one might expect to see an effect.

These scientific studies that compared adjacent counties where one had a higher minimum wage than the 6 September 29, 2016

other found no effect on the number of jobs.

About half of small businesses already pay at least $12/hour. I have noticed help wanted signs around Longmont that are offering starting wages in excess of the current minimum wage and some close to the minimum wage proposed for 2020. Qdoba restaurants in Greeley bumped starting wages to $11/hour and were so pleased with the results including employee retention that it has bumped wages in all its restaurants.

Retention avoids retraining and other costs as well as maintaining quality.

Replacement of a low-wage employee costs about 16 percent of their annual salary.

Low and middle income workers tend to spend most of their money in the local community. A federal bank study found that for every dollar increase in pay, workers will over one year spend another $2,800 in the local economy.

Nearly 320,000 workers in Colorado would benefit from the proposed increase in the minimum wage.

Approximately 86 percent are over the age of 20 and about one-third are over 40. Women represent about 48 percent of Colorado workers but about 55 percent of those who would benefit from an increase in the minimum wage.

Approximately 134,000 children would benefit.

Studies have shown that in states with higher minimum wage, small businesses grow faster. A recent survey shows that the majority of small businesses support increased minimum wages.

At a time when many people earn more than $100,000 per year or more, we should be able to find a solution to poverty. Supporting conditions that facilitate or do not facilitate poverty says a lot about our values and who we are as a people.

Bob Norris is a social justice activist who has lived in Longmont since the year 2000.

This opinion column does not necessarily reflect the views of Boulder Weekly.

danish plan Why roads matter

By Paul Danish

A

ccording to a story in last Monday’s Daily Camera, the town of Erie is about to annex 230 acres south of the town for residential develop-

ment.

Judging by the residential densities shown in the Erie comprehensive plan, the property, which is located at Baseline and East County Line Road, will likely end up with between 900 and 1,300 homes.

Generally speaking, a single family home generates 10 automobile trips a day, so the Erie project will likely generate between 9,000 and 13,000 trips a day.

The same issue of the Camera contained a second story that mentioned, in passing, that Superior has a 1,400-home residential project in the mill for the town center. Figure another 14,000 vehicle trips per day.

And that is just the development reported in a single issue of a newspaper.

Judging by major projects under construction in the 95th Street corridor, Boulder’s on-going attempts to increase its residential density, and the fact that Boulder County will likely add another 20,000 people to its population in the next four years (raising it to around 340,000), new growth could easily generate an additional 150,000 trips a day on county roads by 2020.

This isn’t about the wisdom of this sort of growth. Its about the reality of it.

And about why it’s so urgent to put more resources into Boulder County’s road network — and why the County Commissioners’ decision to ask the voters

to repurpose part of an expiring open space tax for “sustainability” projects instead of roads is recklessly irresponsible.

It’s no secret that I’m currently running for County Commissioner and that roads have become a major campaign issue.

Here’s how it has unfolded from my perspective. (Hopefully Boulder Weekly will renew its offer to the present Commissioners to present their side of the issue.)

Last July, I proposed that Boulder County voters be asked to repurpose one half of a quarter-cent county open space tax due to expire at the end of 2019 for roads. I proposed extending the tax for 20 years, which means it would conservatively raise about $140 million over its lifetime.

This would allow spending on roads to be increased substantially while not increasing the county’s overall tax burden.

The present Board of County Commissioners took a different approach.

They proposed extending one-half of the expiring tax for 15 years (which would raise about $105 million) and ear-marking it not for roads but for (among other things) “sustainability” projects — which include recycling, composting, bus shelters and teaching farmers to conserve water.

Sustainability is a slippery word, but for purposes of the sustainability tax proposal sustainability means spending intended to combat climate change.

But — inconvenient truth alert — attempting to fight climate change, which is a global problem of staggering see DANISH PLAN Page 7

Boulder Weekly

letters ‘The Other’

It is impossible for me to believe that households in and near Twin Lakes in the Gunbarrel area, are being ingenuous about their opposition to an affordable housing development there. I was an urban and regional planner, and I’ve heard all the arguments, disagreements, platitudes, and NIMBYisms. I doubt “density” or “loss of open space” has entered into more than a neighborhood lexicon. The real “issue” is “THOSE people” — letting “them” in.

There is an alternative. Raise wages for all who earn less than $50,000 per year. Double them, if necessary. But wait! Rents in the region would also rise.

So that leaves but one untried solution: The neighbors should chip in to buy one Range Rover SUV per new Twin Lakes affordable unit [to be built]. That way THOSE people can zip around and look just like everyone else. Nobody ever needs to know that THOSE people have invaded another planet.

After all, we are what we own, right?

Gregory Iwan/Longmont

DANISH PLAN from Page 6

proportions, by throwing local tax dollars at it is like attempting to sweep back the sea with a whisk broom. In the fight against climate change, there is nothing Boulder County can accomplish by spending $105 million on “sustainability” that will not be cancelled out when The People’s Republic of China opens another coal-fired power plant — which it will likely do next week.

(A far better course of action for Boulder County would be to spend local tax dollars on adapting to climate change at the local level, which will accomplish far more and directly benefit Boulder County residents. More about that some other time.)

When it comes to reducing the local carbon footprint, a good road network that moves the county’s more than 250,000 cars and trucks more efficiently will likely do more than all the money spent on recycling, composting and bus shelters combined.

The present commissioners would respond to this by saying they are not shorting roads, because they have put a road tax of their own on the ballot.

Their proposal would raise $150 million over 15 years by raising property taxes. It would earmark $75 million for the County road network and $75 million for repairing the roads in county subdivisions. So if this proposal is passed the people can have both roads and compost.

Boulder Weekly

Celebrating

My 40th Year with Honda!

Which one of our attacks?

What crap you publish. President Benson has done more for the University of Colorado than all of his predecessors put together! You should be ashamed of your ad hominem attack!

Lewis Frauenfelder/Boulder

Kicking the neo-liberal can

Dave Anderson has been one of my favorite columnists for Boulder Weekly.

A few weeks ago however, he sadly adopted the neo-liberal’s resurrected Cold War tactic of painting a political opponent, in this case, Trump, as a patsy of Russia. No doubt this age-old boogieman distraction will go over well with those who remember the red-baiting of yesteryear.

Everyone but his supporters know full well what a dangerous clown is Trump. But what is nearly as frightening is kicking the neo-liberal can down the road with the hopes of tweaking its policy of endless war and trickle down economics once the reins have been

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see LETTERS Page 8

danish plan The problem is the commissioners’ proposal contains two “poison pills” that are almost guaranteed to ensure its defeat, and their presence raises real questions as to whether the proposal was put on the ballot in good faith.

The first is that the proposal derives its revenues from an increase in the property tax, which is the most hated tax in America. The second is that it proposes to dedicate $75 million to fixing subdivision roads, which can be fixed for $25 million.

That’s not a formula for success at the polls, and its inconceivable the commissioners didn’t know it when they put the proposal on the ballot.

They are not political naïfs. It’s a proposal cynically designed to fail for political purposes — like sticking it to the people who want their subdivision roads paved.

County Commissioners used to be called County Road Commissioners, and their core responsibility was to maintain the county roads in their districts. They ought to get back to the oldest part of the job description.

This opinion column does not necessarily reflect the views of Boulder Weekly.

Since Paul Danish is running for County Commissioner, any current Commissioners are welcome to equal space in our newspaper.

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LETTERS from Page 7

handed over. “For the political revolution to advance, the first priority is to crush Donald Trump and the Republicans in November.” (Boulder Weekly, 9/22/16). We can clearly see how effective the revolution will be from the actions Hillary has taken to date, such as appointing fossil fuel champion Ken Salazar as leader of her transition team and pursuing Jeb Bush as opposed to Sanders voters.

Mr. Anderson may however be right. Perhaps Sanders’ millions can swing the neo-liberals back toward progressivism. But we should be telling ourselves this: “In order to prevent a Trump presidency, I will vote for accelerated global warming and ever increasing environmental disasters through fracking, pipeline construction and offshore oil drilling, the greatest military build up in history, including a new generation of nuclear missiles, continuing war and the provocation of war with Russia and China, an ever expanding surveillance state, continued banking corruption and corporate control of the people.”

Of course a vote for Jill Stein is throwing your vote away because progressives will vote for Hillary because they don’t want to throw their vote away.

Doug Richards/Eldorado Springs, CO

Co-op Conundrum

Jan Trussell’s column got it exactly right: A vocal, self-selected group of activists is coercing City Council into granting them a special privilege — at the expense of residents in every existing neighborhood of Boulder. The co-op advocates’ resort to name-calling and labeling is unhelpful. But the biggest problem is that City Council is swallowing the co-op story whole, without asking critical questions: Why are we creating something that will have very little benefit in terms of affordable housing, yet will put still more pressure on middle-class housing availability? Why do we need to define umpteen different types of co-op all at once? Why not start with a single model that everyone can understand, a real ownership co-op, instead of experimenting with untried concepts like so-called “rental co-ops”?

How can we prevent the extreme occupancy of a co-op from causing a domino effect on neighborhoods, as neighboring families decide to move out and find that their only good option is to convert their house into another high-occupancy rental? Why are we giving an incentive to investor landlords to snap up single-family

homes and turn them into lucrative high-occupancy boarding houses?

Why is it OK to allow 10 to 15 people to take over a house in the midst of a low/medium-density zoned neighborhood? Why should people that moved into neighborhoods specifically for their low-density characteristics be subjected to the high-density hubbub of a crowded co-op next door, and not at least have a chance to voice their concerns in advance?

Why can’t high-density co-ops be placed in high-density areas of the City, instead of being plopped down into middle-class, low- and mediumdensity residential neighborhoods?

Why can’t we re-purpose areas of the city, like the former hospital site, and set up co-op or co-housing opportunities that would not erode existing stable neighborhoods?

How can we ensure that legalized rental co-ops won’t abuse their extraordinary privilege by operating as AirBnBs, boarding houses, couch-surfer havens and traveler’s hostels? How in the world could rental co-ops like Picklebric, with their revolving door of short-term, transient boarders and couch-surfers, possibly contribute to neighborhood stability? How can we enforce any of this, when we can’t even begin to enforce occupancy limits and other rental regulations?

City Council won’t ask these questions themselves. Citizens must come to the council meeting October 4th and do the asking.

Steven Meier/Boulder

Let’s be smart

It is smart to extend the term limit of the Boulder District Attorney’s office.

The length of service for the Boulder County District Attorney position should be extended to a fourth term. I urge the voters to vote yes on Resolution NO. 2016-91 on the November ballot for this term limit extension.

The District Attorney is responsible for many aspects of maintaining safety for members of our community. It is important that minority residents have trust in the District Attorney. This requires many years of service of a District Attorney dedicated to doing outreach to minorities, the elderly and others and to pursuing cases where someone has been scammed or abused because of their gender, sexual identity, ethnicity, age, or immigration status. It requires that a staff, as is the case in Boulder County, be developed that fully supBoulder Weekly

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It is also beneficial that the District Attorney be recognized, respected and trusted by others in law enforcement, state administration and the state legislature.

We are fortunate at this time to have such a District Attorney. While this might not always be the case, the voters have the ability to make a change every four years.

Bob Norris/Longmont

Trump on Shale

In response to Donald Trump’s comments at the Shale Insight Conference in Pittsburgh: “Donald Trump proved again that he is an unfit leader with no grasp on reality. Trump pandered to the Marcellus Shale industry today, singing the praises of a dangerous energy extraction process that threatens the health and safety of families and communities all over this country, and promising to slash critical regulations and the EPA. This man has no business dealing with America’s energy policy, and he would be a belligerent catalyst of catastrophic climate change if he were elected president.”

Cassady Sharp, Greenpeace USA spokesperson

ColoradoCare would heal health care for patients and providers

Money is pouring in from out of state to fund opposition to ColoradoCare. Outspending supporters 8-to-1, opponents of Amendment 69 want to protect their exorbitant profits at the expense of your wallets and your health.

As a rural family physician I struggle every day to get basic health care for my patients. The current system is unsustainable and getting worse. Recently, I had yet another asthmatic, who couldn’t afford her maintenance medications. She ended up on a ventilator and was discharged needing oxygen at home. Her insurance refused to pay for it. She is one of thousands of under-insured people in the state.

I see this petty system from both sides of the coin. After having a cancer treatment, which I need on a regular basis, my insurance would not process it because the provider had not done a “prior authorization” (which is insurance gobbledygook to avoid payBoulder Weekly

ing anything). Despite paying hundreds of dollars a month for an “insurance” plan with a huge deductible, coinsurance and copays, I couldn’t even count my out-of-pocket expenses toward the deductible because of a paperwork mistake. This absurd game would go away with ColoradoCare. I would pay my tax and have a platinum (not bronze) plan WITHOUT deductibles and coinsurance. My rates would not skyrocket every year along with increases in my out-of-pocket expenses.

Instead of health care rates being determined in a closed boardroom where you and I and our providers have NO input, the board running ColoradoCare would not be able to increase the tax unless approved by the members of ColoradoCare, the members being all Coloradans. If we weren’t happy with how they were running things, we could boot them out at the next election. Under the current system, we can’t change the insurance company executives who pay themselves millions by charging everincreasing premiums and denying care to customers.

A study by the Institute of Health found that only 8 percent of health expenditures go to those who provide care, whereas 30 percent of health expenditures are wasted. That waste includes the administrative obstacles that the insurance companies put up to avoid paying for your care.

As 56 countries of the world have figured out, universal health care is a social necessity, just like public education and libraries. In those countries with universal coverage, health care is provided at a fraction of the cost as in the U.S., and their citizens are healthier than we are. This is not a partisan issue, but a fact of life. All people, regardless of their political persuasion, live in human bodies that get sick and injured.

Don’t let outside interests determine how we care for Coloradans.

They do NOT have your interests at heart, but only care about their bottom line. Vote for your family’s and your health and wellbeing — vote for ColoradoCare, Amendment 69.

Madeleine Jacobs, MD/Penrose, Colorado Colorado native Madeline Jacobs, MD has been a family practitioner in Penrose, Colorado since 1988. She got her medical degree at the University of Colorado Medical School in 1984, and completed her residency in 1987 in Fort Collins.

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news

Rico Moore

The curation of discovery

by Rico Moore Cache/Artifact/Element: Romero’s Shovel

T

he Mahaffy Cache is a collection of 86 supposedly 13,000-year-old stone artifacts that were discovered by a landscaper, Romero, who worked on a crew led

by Brant Turney and included Juan Gonzalez and Jose Ramirez. They were unearthed in the front yard of biopharmaceutical business owner Patrick Mahaffy on the banks of Gregory Creek just blocks north of Chautauqua Park on 6th Street in the spring of 2008. They are presently on display at the CU Museum of Natural History as an 10 September 29, 2016

exhibit titled, Unearthed: Ancient Life in the Boulder Valley.

I was drawn to this story, as breath is drawn from air. I was struck by the absence of Romero’s name — the person whose shovel — a modern tool — first knocked the ancient tool as one knocks a door. Romero’s name is absent from all news accounts, museum exhibits and memories of those whose faces shine most brightly in the national spotlight of the cache’s discovery. I was drawn by the yet unspoken meaning of Romero’s discovery.

It was only when I interviewed the landscaping company owner, Brant Turney, that I learned Romero’s name. The name, Romero, holds — as an ancient stone tool holds fluttering and ephemeral notes on a table — the significance of the Mahaffy Cache. Speaking his name unearths stories spoken by the descendants of the ancient Native Americans who buried the stone elements in such a way. Romero is of the yet unspoken underlying causes of the Mahaffy Cache’s significance. Without Romero, the Mahaffy Cache is naught.

Romero’s name did not appear in the New York Times or the Los Angeles Times, alongside that of the landowner, exhibit and research funder, Mahaffy; and the principal investigator of the cache, Douglas Bamforth; and the CU Museum of Boulder Weekly

news Rico Moore

Natural History. Romero wasn’t invited to participate in the re-enactment in which the former landowner, Patrick Mahaffy, strolls down the terrace on the PBS television show NOVA to demonstrate how “his” find occurred. I can imagine it if Romero had been included: hands wielding a shovel in a reconstructed excavation site. Clink, clink, then snap to an interview with him: “What was it like to have your shovel come into contact with the most ancient of tools?” “How does it feel to be the discoverer of the Mahaffy Cache?”

In the narrative and story on offer, we have nothing but silence because sadly, there has CU archeologist been no answer, as finding Douglass Banforth Romero has proven impossible. sits in front of the Mahaffy Cache After being told by Brant exhibit at the CU Turney that he’d help arrange Museum of Natural History. Banforth an interview, I never heard has extensively back. The snows fell many studies the artifacts in times, and none of my calls question. were returned.

At the media briefing for the opening of the University of Colorado Museum exhibit for the Mahaffy cache, I publicly asked Douglas Bamforth, the anthropologist who studied the cache, who discovered the tools. Several museum employees spoke up in chorus: “Brant Turney! Brant Turney!”

“No,” Bamforth said, “it was one of the workers.”

It seemed there were two different responses. I wonder how it would have shifted the marketing and branding plan if Romero, and not Brant Turney was the one publicly acknowledged by CU to have discovered the cache. I’ve yet to speak to Romero, or even see his face. I can imagine, however, that he would feel honored to be recognized.

Further, in the acknowledgments section of a chapter published in a book entitled, Clovis Caches, Bamforth acknowledges, “The landscaping crew who found the artifacts, and especially Juan Gonzalez and Jose Ramirez, provided important information on the discovery and helped to find stray items from the cache.”

Bamforth didn’t have their contact information.

The discovery would also furnish the name of Patrick Mahaffy’s biopharmaceutical company, Clovis Oncology. Though as he told me in an interview, the significance of the name choice, “Ends with the name.”

I was given Romero’s name by Brant Turney while sitting on the porch of Mahaffy’s new home. I asked whose shovel hit the first tool.

“Romero,” he said.

The Romero Cache feels to be a more appropriate Boulder Weekly

society based in the equitable conversation comprised of these vibrant strains of voice.

Erasure is at work here. It is the erasure of emptiness so that all may be full. May we all be full voiced.

Cache/Artifact/ Element: Ava Hamilton, Arapaho, Relative of Little Raven, Left Hand, amongst many others

name for the collection, I thought.

After much searching, neither Romero, Juan Gonzalez nor Jose Ramirez could be found for interview. The absence of their names in the narrative and story of the cache, and the fact that their names are unknown to the world signals something.

Why would the curators of the discovery of the Mahaffy cache not see fit to feature at the very least, the name of the discoverer himself, Romero?

Cache/Artifact/Element: To Discover Discovery The word discover as other words we use but neglect to consider bears witness to the Mahaffy Cache. In this context, the origins and histories of the word enlighten and shade the story at once. The English-language origin — not the only origin, or interpretation of such a concept — of the word is: • • • • “ORIGIN Middle English (in the sense [make known]): from Old French descovrir, from late Latin discooperire, from Latin dis- (expressing reversal) + cooperire ‘cover completely.’ ” • • • • Note how the word origin appears in all capital letters, as if an acronym or a shout of threat; as if to suggest that the only origin from which language is meaningful is the Latin, the European. Thus, in a European-based sense, to discover means to uncover, which is reminiscent of the University’s museum exhibit of the so-called Mahaffy Cache. There, discovery is enacted by un-earthing. However, as we’ve seen and will see, to discover is also to bury. With this pen, I unearth Romero, whose shovel hit the first artifact.

Native American interpretations of the cache have yet been left voiceless in the narrative and story.

These words articulate threads from within the lacunaë of history. These threads become pathways.

They link us. They bind us. And with them, we hear deeper into the history of the beating heart being here.

Together, we form a more diverse, cohesive and unified

I was fortunate to have a conversation with Ava Hamilton, a relative of Arapaho Peace Chiefs, Niwot and Little Raven. We met at the Boulder Dushanbe Teahouse on a misty gray morning.

“What kind of people are you?” Ava asked from across the table.

“I’m Mexican and Irish,” I replied. “My birth father walked from Mexico. His parents descend from Mexican indigenous people in Guanajuato and Jalisco, as well as from Spain. My parents, who raised me, descend mostly from England, Wales and France, by way of Rhode Island and Michigan. My birth mother is of Irish descent, in part I believe.”

“Me,” Ava says, “I’m Arapaho, but I’m also Cheyenne.”

She tells me of her Native American relatives who come from many tribes. She mentions a Mexican Indigenous relative. She tells me of her child and grandchildren, cousins, parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, more distant relations and friends. Ava is connected to all of them, and through her, they are all connected to each other. In essence, her relatives speak with her, together. This is the basis for our conversation.

Ava’s ancestral roots run deep in the Boulder Valley. She is a relative of the Southern Arapahos, Little Raven and Niwot, who lived with the land as a relative and worked without end for peace with the people who would attempt to destroy their culture and lives. She is featured in an exhibit at the Boulder Museum called, Chief Niwot: Legend & Legacy. May this exhibit exist in perpetuity.

Outside, rain falls through cool air. In the center of the room, the fountain of Seven Beauties circulates water through itself, creating an undercurrent to our conversation. We sit at a table in the front corner of the Teahouse. Morning light, dimmed by clouds, glows through windows that stretch to the ceiling. Colorful and decorative lines, ornately carved into plaster by Kodir Rhakimov of Tajikistan, emanate designs framing differently shaded hues. All the walls are etched with a vibrant See DISCOVERY Page 12

September 29, 2016 11

news Photos of tools: Rico Moore

DISCOVERY from Page 11

and diverse panoply. The space in the room is a coalessustained them for millennia were concealed from the cence of reflections and traditional designs intertwining budding culture’s eyes. This cultural genocide persists. with light pouring in from the sky.

As I spoke with Ava, I beheld more clearly what sailed Our talk meanders towards the roots of the genoin the heart of Columbus and his soldiers; indeed, with cide committed and still acting upon Indigenous peoHernan Cortés. In their hearts they bore the origin of disple of this continent by European-based cultures. I covery. In their mouths, they carried its utterance into the sense that the way forward for us together includes all. yet to be spoken English-American language. I speak this The way forward includes Courtesy of Ava Hamilton those who have a long-term relationship with the land we live on along with those who are integral but remain nameless in the cultural narrative and story.

“Indigenous knowledge,” Ava says.

“Study the Doctrine of Discovery,” she continues, “Because it’s the base of how Christian countries came to lay claim to our lands.

According to the Doctrine of Discovery, they had the right to come into all lands that were occupied or held by Indigenous people; the Aboriginal peoples. Because we were not Christian, we had no right to own land; to hold title.”

Indeed, one of Colorado’s founding fathers, John Evans, Colorado Territorial Governor at the time, said, “The idea that this country belonged to [the Indians] gets its language. This language speaks the stories of our most ridiculous aspect from the culture. In the hearts of the conquistadores sailed Ava Hamilton, proposition ... that we had to buy it the roots of institutionally sponsored genocide.

Arapaho, understands the off them by treaty or purchase, The Doctrine of Discovery finds a point of destructive Doctrine instead of teaching them what was origin in 1452, with Catholic Pope Nicholas V. In of Discovery all too well. the proper doctrine.” the Boulder History Museum’s exhibit, Chief In the era of the Doctrine of Niwot: Legend & Legacy, it appears: Discovery, not only were “In 1452, Pope Nicholas V issued the Indigenous people violently and forcibly displaced decree, known as the Doctrine of Discovery, which from their homes, and their land taken, but also their gave Christian explorers the right to claim the lands views of the world — the cultural narratives by which they ‘discovered’ for their Christian Monarchs. Any they made meaning of life — were also erased from land that was not inhabited by Christians was available the cultural narrative and story. The worldviews that to be discovered, claimed and exploited. If the pagan 12 September 29, 2016

inhabitants agreed to be converted, their lives might be spared — if not, they would be enslaved or killed.”

And the exhibit confirms discovery continues today: “The Discovery Doctrine is a concept of public international law used by the U.S. Supreme Court in decisions regarding ownership of native lands. In 1823, Chief Justice John Marshall used the doctrine to justify the way in which colonial powers laid claim to newly ‘discovered’ lands in North America. Under it, title to these lands lay with the government whose subjects discovered the ‘new’ territory, not with the Indigenous people.”

Thus, at its Europeanbased root, tendriled as it is across the Atlantic and Pacific oceans, “to discover,” evolved over hundreds of years as the theft of property and possessions belonging to Native American and other Indigenous peoples at any cost, including their cultures and lives. Thus, the act of “discovery,” as enforced by various political forces throughout history has in its course legitimized the genocide of Native Americans, African Americans and many other Indigenous and Aboriginal people of the world. Entire histories of people, and so the places of their oral literature, at once, withdrew into apparent non-existence. These people and their places are speaking still.

Discovery continues to sail on the ocean of cultural narrative and story. When the Mahaffy Cache was “discovered,” the history of discovery’s destruction unearthed itself into our hearts and minds. I merely happened to be listening for them in the laws of America.

See DISCOVERY Page 14

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In the aforementioned Boulder Museum exhibit of Chief Niwot, Ava Hamilton is quoted as saying, “I am often asked, ‘Where are the Arapahos?’ or ‘What happened to the Arapaho People?’ The immediate answer is that they are everywhere today, but they are mainly in Oklahoma and Wyoming. Understanding what happened to not only my people — the Arapaho — but to all the Indigenous peoples in the Western Hemisphere requires intense scrutiny of what came to be American history and the laws of the land. It very much requires a discussion of The Doctrine of Christian Discovery and the power of interpretation of words.”

“It was no discovery,” Ava tells me of the invasion of the Americas by Europeans.

“But, in the non-Indian world, it was a ‘great discovery.’ And it’s still going on — that so-called ‘discovery;’ recognition and credit for the interpretation of this discovery.”

“I’m interested in your interpretation of the Mahaffy Cache,” I say.

“I’ll tell you a bit about what I know about that site. I started about eight or 10 years ago, when the Sand Creek Monument started coming to fruition, getting really connected because I’m a member of the Southern Arapaho and Cheyenne Tribes of Oklahoma. I’m Arapaho. I grew up Arapaho, but in Wyoming with the Northern Arapaho. All of my knowledge, culturally, could be considered Northern Arapaho because all of my participation, knowledge and ways of being come from the North, but it’s the same. Up in Wyoming, the government divided the country into educational areas where these Christian organizations could come in, and in the guise of education, indoctrinate our people with Christianity.”

Ava’s words hearken to the Doctrine of Discovery as aforementioned in the exhibit featuring Chief Niwot at the Boulder Museum. May this exhibit be expanded to include the ancient histories of this place as curated by the scholars of oral literature, ancient historians, along with Ava Hamilton and all of her relatives.

Ava continues to speak towards the Mahaffy Cache. “There’s a difference between having a relationship to the land — being a caretaker — and holding title according to the governments.”

“This Doctrine of Discovery,” she continues, “said that these Christian countries could come in and lay claim to these lands and make the land useful. Those two things are still going on today. The land is still being made useful. They’re trying to kill our planet. They’re trying to kill the thing that gives us life and that is life. I say, ‘they’ but, ‘the mentality’ is ready to look for water on Mars, and I say, ‘We’ve got water here! This is a wonderful planet and we are going through space — every day we travel through space! Do you not know this? Hey! Scientists!’”

She adds, “I come from a different way of seeing things, that things are not here for profit so that you can consume.

“When I started doing research, I wanted to know about this land — about things that were of this earth; this place, so I read that article, did some research. I re-checked it, re-read it.”

She continues contemplating and adds another strand to her thinking: “I have a friend and we’re going to try to do something about curriculum on American Indigenous history because there’s nothing in the school systems about the atrocities committed by the United States Government and how our history is the opposite of your history. They’re real uncomfortable with our place, and while they were ‘Westward ho!’ We said, ‘That’s our land, and that’s my Grandma. That’s my home.’”

In the echo of Ava’s words I hear, “That’s my history.”

(To be continued.)

Boulder Weekly is serializing The Curation of Discovery. Over the next several weeks, using a combination of our newspaper and website, we will publish this entire work which raises many critical and emotional questions about our current system of history curation, which too often leaves out the most important voices, namely, those of Indigenous peoples.

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news Wikimedia Commons

IT TAKES A VILLAGE Boulder County nonprofit unveils website that makes it easier for possibly suicidal students to access care

BY CAITLIN ROCKETT

T

here’s no manual for raising children, with him,” she says. “Did everything I was going the old adage goes, but they also say it through [affect him]? I drank caffeine when I was takes a village. But who do parents pregnant with him and I didn’t with my first son. turn to when a child expresses the I was having all these headaches after my mom desire to end their own life? died and the doctor [told me to] drink caffeine Just a few years ago, Kristen Keller and her because I couldn’t take any medicine. husband found themselves face to face with just “You feel hopeless. What goes through your that unthinkable scenario. Their then 9-year-old mind is, ‘Did I do something to make him feel son’s depression had reached a fever pitch. Keller this way?’” she says. “My husband and I felt like says their son had been we were failing him. We’d go expressing what many would see experts and they’d say, ON THE BILL: Get consider adult thoughts about ‘You’re doing everything we’d Involved: Second Wind Fund of depression and his own morrecommend you do.’ So honBoulder County Fundraiser. 7 p.m. Saturday, Oct. 29. $50 per tality since he was 5. estly it’s just feeling heartbroticket, adults only. The event will “It breaks my heart, espeken, helpless, exhausted all the feature a costumed danced cially with kids, because when time. Every ounce of energy I party with heavy appetizers, drinks and a restaurant-style you’re an adult and you know had he would take, just mentalsilence auction. If interested in how dark that place is, to see ly and physically.” an invitation, contact Kristen your son going through those She quit her full-time job Keller at kristen.m.keller@gmail. com. feelings is just... ” Keller trails as a public relations consultant, off, unable to find a word or and eventually the Kellers phrase that can translate the made the decision to send their gravity of the emotion. son to a residential program.

Keller and her husband questioned their parOnce their son was settled into the program, enting, despite having an older son whom she Keller found herself with time on her hands. She describes as “thriving.” Kristen in particular felt could have gone back to work, but found the “responsible” for her son’s despondent state; she thought of re-entering the world of high-tech and her mother both suffered from depression, public relations bleak. With a marketable skillset, and her aunt committed suicide some years ago.

Keller began searching the nonprofit world for “I’m thinking, ‘Oh god, I gave this to him work to fill her days and her soul. That’s when because I’ve gone through it, my mom went she stumbled upon Second Wind Fund (SWF). through it, my aunt, that entire side [of my famiThe concept for SWF emerged in 2002 after ly]’” she says. “I do blame myself for that.” four students at a Jefferson County school took Keller says she tortured herself, questioning their own lives in the course of a single school every choice she’d made with her youngest son, year. A community-led walk/run event to support including her own actions during pregnancy. the school in the immediate aftermath gave rise “Actually, my mom died while I was pregnant to the idea of a longstanding program to support Boulder Weekly

young people who may be having suicidal thoughts.

The concept spread and SWF now operates in 21 counties in Colorado, including Boulder.

Each SWF affiliate group works to decrease the incidence of suicide in children and youth by removing the financial and social barriers to treatment.

As of mid-September, Second Wind Fund of Boulder County debuted a new online referral system to help youths who may be suicidal get into counseling faster.

While suicide may seem like an adult concept, the numbers tell a different story. In Colorado, suicide is the leading cause of death for ages 10-14, according to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. The 2015 Healthy Kids Colorado Survey adds even more sobering statistics to the mix: around 14 percent of Boulder Valley high school students and 16 percent of middle school students reported that they had seriously considered attempting suicide in the last year.

Another 12 percent of high schoolers and 14 percent of middle schoolers reported making a suicide plan. Of those students, 6 percent of high school and 4 percent of middle school students reported actually attempting suicide.

Over cups of tea and coffee, Kristen Keller and Faye Peterson, executive director of SWF of Boulder County, discuss the organization and the new online referral system. When Keller came across SWF after her son’s struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts, she was excited to learn that the Boulder chapter was in need of See SECOND WIND FUND Page 18

September 29, 2016 17

news SECOND WIND FUND from Page 17

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someone with PR skills. She’s now on the Boulder County affiliate’s board of directors.

Peterson was approached by Boulder community members to head up a Boulder County affiliate of SWF in 2009 after a similar organization, Compass House, had to shutter its doors. She’s volunteered as the executive director of SWF of Boulder County ever since.

SWF of Boulder County works with Boulder Valley and St. Vrain school districts.

Peterson’s job has always been to connect young folks who have been identified as possibly having suicidal thoughts with counselors.

“I had two referrals this morning, which is a lot,” Peterson says. The process usually looks like this: A student ends up in the office of a school counselor because the child has talked about ending their life, perhaps directly to the counselor or even to a friend or family member. After a quick suicide assessment, the school counselor calls Peterson, who gathers some information about the child: if they are insured or underinsured, if their parents are involved. If the student qualifies, Peterson provides the counselor with a referral number.

But Peterson has a private practice as a psychologist as well, meaning sometimes school counselors can’t get in touch with her immediately. She began to envision an online referral system that could allow counselors to get at-risk students set up with appointments immediately.

Referrals can only be made by qualified sources, such as counselors and others trained in mental health evaluation.

Students receive eight sessions through SWF at no cost. An additional four free sessions can be obtained for students who still need more time with a counselor.

Both Keller and Peterson talk about the complicated reasons why a child might express thoughts that many consider “adult:” There is the genetic component, Peterson says, or the pressures of standardized testing, Keller adds.

The biggest risk factor, Peterson says, is a lack of access to mental healthcare because of financial resources.

Citizenship status can also create barriers.

“This 8-year-old [we currently serve], his parents were undocumented. We don’t ask for papers. Every child is served,” Peterson says. “His parents were monolingual. He was their translator. The pressure of maybe not having language skills and being in the classroom, the pressure of needing to be reading by 4 — it’s a lot on a child.

“The pressure, it’s like a powder keg,” she says. “In middle school and high school, children are already thinking, ‘I have to get into the best college I can.’

What about those kids who just want to be in their community and get jobs? The youth struggle: ‘Where do I fit in? How do I find out what I’m good at?’”

Emily Sellergren began working with SWF of Boulder County last year as a counselor. She agrees with Peterson and Keller that the underlying reasons for a student to express suicidal thoughts are complicated and interwoven, often involving struggles at home and demands to perform well academically. Social media and cell phones can also create anxieties for students.

Sellergren has spent most of her career as a psychotherapist working with adolescents. She worked with students in Littleton after the Columbine shooting in 1999.

“I worked with a sixth grader last year who said some things that were really concerning to her friends and counselors,” Sellergren says. “Once I started working with her, she wasn’t suicidal, she just needed more support. She needed people to see her, to help her find out who she was. I feel like sometimes kids say those things and you catch it and work with them and they improve a lot. Other times kids truly are suicidal, but it’s the same issues. You talk to them, you connect with them, find out who they are and what’s important to them.”

Sellergren says the most important thing a parent can do is connect with their child.

“Checking in, having one on one time,” she says. “‘How is school going? How are you feeling about your grades and your friends?’ I think families can get busy day to day and aren’t able to sit down with our children and really talk. Even if you can just be in the car with your kid, turn off the radio and put the iPhone down and have a real conversation about how things are, sit down as a family and have dinner together and check in, it makes a huge difference.”

For more information about Second Wind Fund, visit swfbc.org. To learn more about suicide prevention and find support groups, visit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention at afsp.org.

Boulder County’s True Independent Voice

18 September 29, 2016

Boulder Weekly

news Denver-based mining company accused of attacking Peruvian farmer

by Angela K. Evans

O

n the morning of Sept. 18, an altercation was reported between private security forces and Goldman Environmental Prize recipient Máxima Acuña on contested land in the Andes of Peru. While the her family reports the private security forces attacked Acuña and her husband Jamie Chaupe, the Denver-based Newmont Mining Corporation and its Peruvian subsidiary Minera Yanacocha, who hired the security personnel, claim no such beating occurred. As indigenous subsistence farmers, Acuña and her family have garnered international support in their land dispute with the mining company as it seeks to Goldman Environmental Prize develop the Conga gold and copper mine project in the area.

“When Máxima and Jaime approached them and demanded they stop invading the property, the mining firm’s security staff violently attacked Máxima and Jaime, hitting Máxima in the head and body with a weapon, leaving her seriously hurt,” Ysidora Chaupe, Máxima and Jamie’s daughter, told the South American news outlet, TeleSur. Amnesty International confirmed Máxima received medical treatment for “a variety of injuries” as a result.

The international NGO, along with countless others including the Denver Peace and Justice Center, EarthRights International and the Boulder-based Global Máxima Acuña Greengrants Fund, are calling on Newmont Mining to remove security forces from the land and end its harassment of the Chaupe family.

“The people who did this to Máxima and her family must be held accountable,” says Justine Reed, vice president of Global Greengrants Fund. “It is another reminder of the growing violence being perpetrated against people who stand up for their basic human rights to land, water and a healthy environment. The international community must challenge Goliath interests that sanction brutality against environmentalists all over the world.”

In a written statement to investors, the mining company denied any wrongdoing, saying the Chaupe family had illegally planted crops and the security forces were simply defending workers who were replanting the area with native grasses in an effort to protect its land rights on the plot of land that is not part of the legal dispute.

Furthermore, Minera Yanacocha released a 20-minute video of the confrontation which shows armed security guards outfitted in riot gear. “They made claims that Máxima and her family were severely beaten and that’s just not true, it’s false,” says Omar Jabara from Newmont’s corporate communications office in Denver. “If you watch the video, Ms. Chaupe (Acuña) and her husband are attacking the security personnel. They did not at any time strike the Chaupes.”

There are moments during the video when the Peruvian couple is not shown, but to argue this is when Acuña was being beaten defies logic, Jabara maintains.

“You can’t make the leap to say, ‘Well, she wasn’t on video therefore she was getting beaten,’” he says. “That’s kind of a stretch of logic.”

While Newmont continues to contest land ownership with Acuña in court, the company suspended the Conga mine project for the foreseeable future in February 2016. The mining company already operates the nearby Yanacocha mine, South America’s largest open pit gold mine.

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Boulder Weekly

boulderganic

Courtesy Michael Eisenfeld

A threat to ‘America’s best idea’ How nearby oil and gas development may be impacting visitation to national parks and monuments

by Emma Murray

A

thousand years ago, the stones in Chaco Canyon, New Mexico anchored the epicenter of Puebloan culture. They were assembled in great, multi-story buildings with hundreds of rooms and precisely oriented to solar, lunar and cardinal directions. The Chacoan meeting spaces fostered and influenced several Navajo clans and ceremonies, as well as Aztec, Mesa Verde and Chuska Mountain centers that emigrated, spiraling outwards in every direction.

Pueblo descendants today maintain the mountains, mesas and shrines along the surrounding San Juan Basin still imbue the high-desert air with deep spiritual meaning. Seven years after the National Park Service sanctioned the archeological ruins and surrounding areas as a National Historical Park in 1980, the native gathering place was declared a UNESCO world heritage site and, in 2013, it was designated as one of four International Dark Sky Parks in the U.S., affirming the otherworldly beauty of its star-lit sky.

Yet, even when bracketed by these awards and custodians invested in preservation, Chris Saeger, director of the Western Values Project, isn’t convinced that it’s enough to guarantee Chaco Culture will remain free from the influence of spreading industrial development and its congruent side effects.

Last month, the Western Values Project, with a mission to advocate for responsible and balanced energy development on public lands, released Oil and Gas Development at the Doorstep of ‘America’s Best Idea,’ a report stressing the possible correlation between increasing oil and gas development and decreasing visitation rates in proximate national parks and monuments.

“It is often forgotten that our national parks frequently emerge from political compromise. Their boundaries do not capture all of the scenery, just some of it,” the report states. “For that reason, conflict has flared over the years when [oil and gas] development projects have been proposed on lands just beyond a park’s boundaries.”

By looking at information publicly available through the Bureau of Land Management (BLM), the Department of the Interior and the National Park Service, the report highlights five national parks potentially suffering from neighboring energy development. The report states, “While other factors may be contributing to these declines, a clear pattern is emerging between park visitation and the intensity of nearby oil and gas production.”

Chaco Culture National Historical Park has suffered the most, according to the report. With almost 3,500 new gas wells constructed within the San Juan

Basin between 2005 and 2007, and an 83 A new report suggests percent oil producthat increasing oil and tion increase since gas extraction activity near protected sites — 1993, the report like that pictured above claims visitation to near Chaco Canyon — is threatening visitation Chaco Culture fell to the parks.

43 percent within the same time period.

The Western Values Project found similar circumstances in four other protected sites around the West: Carlsbad Caverns National Park, Theodore Roosevelt National Park, Guadalupe Mountain National Park and Little Bighorn Battlefield National Monument.

The trends outlined by the report are clear: Increase oil and gas development in certain areas, and proximate national parks will suffer. However, as the mathematical adage goes, “Correlation does not imply causation.” So, is it fair to draw such pointed conclusions?

“I think what we are trying to do with this report is to start a conversation that asks exactly that question,” Saeger says. “Maybe we’re not trying to draw super direct linkages, but rather we’re trying to ask: If we see these two things happening alongside each other in a correlation, what are the possible reasons for that? And how can this shape the decisions that the land managSee NATIONAL PARKS Page 22

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boulderganic NATIONAL PARKS from Page 21

ers make with our incredible resources?”

Nathan Hatfield, chief of interpretation at Chaco Culture National Historic Park, is hesitant to place all blame on oil and gas development. Despite the reported 43 percent drop in their visitation, Hatfield claims that within the past year, Chaco’s visitation has bounced back by nearly 40 percent. “Yes, we are concerned about what’s going on with oil and gas around the area. There are some properties near the park where this type of activity is happening, and it could potentially harm our resources, potentially,” he says. “But we really don’t know the full effects.”

He adds, “We are in a tough spot to really speak out on this issue because one of the land owners that is involved with oil and gas is the BLM. So in order to remain in good standing with them, we try not to get too critical about what’s happening with oil and gas.”

The BLM manages more federal land than any other agency — around 245 million surface acres and 700 million sub-surface acres of mineral estate. Since the BLM first assumed responsibility for delegating proper usages of American land in 1946, there has been ongoing debate surrounding selective engagement and use of authority, and potential neglect of less popular public lands such as grasslands, plains and basins where most of the featured national parks are located.

The Western Value’s Project also reported that Carlsbad Caverns National Park in New Mexico, which protects important remaining wildlife and underground caves in the Chihuahuan Desert, saw visitation drop 35 percent between 1993 and 2015, while oil production increased 200 percent and 6,000 wells were drilled. Theodore Roosevelt National Park in North Dakota, “known as the ‘cradle of conservation,’” saw oil production in surrounding counties rise 841 percent and gas production increase 900 percent, and visitation declined 7 percent.

Montana’s Little Bighorn Battlefield National Monument, which commemorates the Sioux and Cheyenne conflict with the U.S. Calvary led by George Custer, witnessed gas production in Big Horn County increase by 7,000 percent between 1999 and 2008, with 325 new wells constructed in 2006 alone. During that same period, visitation to the national park plummeted by 28 percent.

And the Guadalupe Mountain National Park in Texas protects one of the finest preserved fossil reefs in the world. Around its borders in the Permain Basin, the report says, “natural gas production increased astronomically (by more than 10,000 percent), while oil production grew by 400 percent.” Within that the same time frame, visitation declined by 15 percent.

Elizabeth Jackson, the public information officer at Guadalupe Mountains National Park, echoes Hatfield’s pause in placing single-pointed blame. She says, “We can’t necessarily attribute [our whole visitation decrease] to one factor. Pollution is a big one, but you can’t really point to exactly where its coming from.”

There are other factors too that could be contributing to the decline, she says.

“Encroachment. As more people move out and closer to park boundaries, we are seeing more and more housing closer to our boundaries too, which also increases pollution.”

However, she says, it is possible to determine that energy development can directly affect at least some aspects of the park. “We notice our greatest impact from oil and gas is the night sky viewing. The ambient light that we see [from the rigs and wells] affects the night sky. Our skies aren’t as dark. We used to experience a truly dark sky, and now its degrading.”

The beauty and importance of American land is not contained within National Park fences and boundaries. Plus, balancing the multiple agencies and actors invested in America’s public lands has been a recurrent struggle since the country’s birth. “[We recognize] ecological boundaries do not match the social and political boundaries established in the ecosystem,” the National Park Service states on Yellowstone’s website. “Thus, most managers... have established relationships with neighboring agencies to coordinate actions that, in some cases, are quite different on each side of the park boundary.”

At the end of the day, Saeger says, ensuring National Parks stay protected in all possible interpretations is the goal. And the Western Values Project hopes to contribute to the conversation with its most recent report by demonstrating the work that still needs to be done.

“Whoever is the next President and Secretary of the Interior have an opportunity to improve the way we do planning at the doorstep of some incredible places,” he says. “It stands to reason that a park is a less desirable destination if there is an oil rig or a fracking situation right outside of it. We want to show that protecting the land is for an intrinsic good.”

22 September 29, 2016

Boulder Weekly

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ADVENTURE

All photos courtesy of Matchstick Productions

Ski movie or environmental statement?

Matchstick Production’s ‘Ruin and Rose’ asks hard questions while showcasing skiing’s best action

by Tom Winter

24 September 29, 2016

T

here are ski movies and then there are ski movies. Today we’re going to talk about a ski movie, one from a little Colorado company that has, from its inception, shaken up the ski film industry with edgy, youthful productions.

The company is, of course, Matchstick Productions. These Crested Butte-based filmmakers are arguably the most successful ski and snowboard production company in the business with a fistful of awards including nine awards from Powder Magazine (eight movie of the year awards and one for best documentary), three Emmy nominations for outstanding camerawork, viewers’ choice runner-up at Tribeca Film Festival, and countless other honors for editing and cinematography.

In addition, the company’s work has been featured across every modern distribution medium, including high-profile appearances on Good Morning America, 60 Minutes and other mainstream TV programs. They also boast an extensive client list that includes production assignments for global brands like Red Bull, Subaru, Swatch, Bud Light and American Express.

That’s not a bad resume for Steve Winter and Murray Wais, the two guys who founded Matchstick Productions (MSP), producing the low-budget and genre-busting releases Soul

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Ruin and Rose is unlike other ski films, challenging athletes and viewers alike with the realities of climate change and how it is affecting winter.

provoking contrast.

“It’s a big departure for MSP,” Wais admits. “A lot of the films we have made are banger after banger ski action. This is more thought provoking and touches upon what our planet will be like with no snow. It’s scary and sad and hopefully makes people think about that.

“Matchstick has been around 25 years or so,” Wais adds. “We wanted to grow as artists and mix things up, to present something unique. I am pleased with the results. The film is entertaining and inspiring and beautifully shot and hopefully it will appeal to people who aren’t even skiers.”

One of the keys to the new direction, Wais says, was the addition of Ben Sturgulewski. A veteran filmmaker and storyteller who was involved with Sweetgrass Productions, Sturgulewski brought a keen sense of narrative to Ruin and Rose.

“We were looking to bring new talsee RUIN AND ROSE Page 26

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For this most recent effort, Wais and Winter partnered with writer/ director Ben Sturgulewski to produce what can only be described as a revelation when it comes to action sports films. Winter landscapes across the planet contrast seamlessly with a curated story of environmental apocalypse, made even more poignant by the recent depressing news of global warming and the rapidly heating planet. These images are a departure for the filmmakers and were shot entirely within the incredible expanses of Africa’s Skeleton Coast, capturing the dreamlike setting and juxtaposing it with the action sequences of skiing snow-covered mountains. It’s a jarring and thought-

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ent into the mix,” Wais says. “Ben [Sturgulewski] has been around the In its latest film, Matchstick pipeline and worked on projects like Productions does the unexpected — features global Valhalla (an award-winning film prowarming in a ski film. duce by Sweetgrass Productions). We wanted to really shift the message, and his involvement helps with that. It also allows us to free up some of our talent something people can see every day; to dive into new projects.” it’s a slow, intangible thing. Maybe Wais says Ruin and Rose is the start there is less snow in the winter, or of a new direction, while also admitmaybe there are tons of beetles like ting that a ski film that showcases what we’ve seen in Colorado. But it global warming is unexpected, but happens slowly over time. People don’t timely. see the emissions coming out of their “I think in general it’s been a huge car’s tailpipe, they want me to cite spepart of my professional career,” Wais cific examples, but the reality is that in says of people’s interest in the environ- Crested Butte, we are still around ment and the impact average when it that humans have comes to snowfall.”

ON THE BILL: Ruin and Rose. been having on the Because of this, 7 p.m. Thursday, Sept. 29, Boulder Theater, 2032 14th St., planet, particularly Ruin and Rose chalBoulder, 303-786-7030. due to the time he lenged the athletes, spends in cold and who perhaps weren’t snowy places. ready for the realities “I’ve been asked of working on a project two different questions,” Wais says. “‘Is that didn’t highlight action, and global warming really happening?’ And focused instead on a rather uncomfortthat question does not get asked any able message. more. It’s been obvious over the last “With the athletes,” Wais says, nine years with record high tempera“there’s a dynamic with professional tures that it is happening, and those skiers that if one year you do one trick warm temperatures have also shown in a movie, the next year you come me that is it very obvious as to what is back and do a better trick. They really happening.” like that, the concept of progression.

The second question, Wais says, is But where does that end up? You can “What have you seen?” only do so much, and it gets so danger“People want to know specifics,” he ous. The athletes appreciated the cresays. “They want a tangible thing that ative direction of the film, but they also they can latch onto. There’s been a would prefer to have a film that was really good movement around the more about them.” country in regards to recycling, and Ruin and Rose may take risks and people get that when they throw away break all the rules for a ski film, but in a can that it fills up their garbage and so doing MSP has produced a timely maybe it’s better to put the can in the and worthwhile contribution to the clirecycling bin. Global warming isn’t mate change conversation.

Boulder Weekly

‘The play and adventure are one’ Return of the Adventure Film Festival

by Michael J. Casey

F

rom Sept. 29 to Oct. 1, the Adventure Film Festival (AFF) returns to Boulder for its 12th annual celebration of those who “make their own legends.” Conceived on a handful of scratch paper during a storm in the Himalayas, AFF founder Jonny Copp wanted to bring together a community of indie filmmakers, artists, adventurers, activists and educators to raise awareness about the environment while also embracing the joy that comes from discovering the outdoors in its infinitesimal detail.

Though Jonny died in an avalanche on Mount Edgar in Sichuan Province, China, with climber Micah Dash and filmmaker Wade Johnson in 2009, but his legacy lives on in the AFF, which his sister, Aimee Copp, has helped shepherd for another year.

Though “film” is in the title — 31 short films will be screened, seven of which are premieres — AFF offers much more than movies. Including a filmmaking workshop, a creekside walk and draw with Jeremy Collins (Oct. 1, 9 a.m.), a craft beer and food pairing seminar (Sept. 29, 3 p.m. and Oct. 1, noon.) and an extensive Adventure Street Fair which runs both days and features beer, food, crafts, free massages and much more.

Considering how much Boulderites spend their recreational time hiking, climbing and discovering their own adventure, it’s no surprise that AFF is such a success. But how does one become and adventurer? If the next generation is going to right our wrongs, then we have to start them young and we’re going to need some help from Jeff & Paige.

The husband-and-wife duo has been performing their personal brand of environmental education and entertainment for a little over a decade, and the duo is returning to AFF for their third year, this time as performers and emcees for the Family & Kids Show at the Boulder Theater (Oct. 1, noon).

“People can expect songs about pollination, water filtration, energy conservation, bear and mountain lion safety and then basic ecology,” Jeff Kagan says of his and Paige’s program.

Though the aim is to engage and educate kids, parents in attendance will probably learn a little something too.

Jeff has been in the field of environmental education for 15 years now, much of that around children, but his understanding and approach shifted 22 months ago when his son, Wolf, was born, he says.

“He just sees different things. [He] Boulder Weekly

can make an adventure out of a small puddle. ... A 200-yard hike can last an hour for him.”

And that space where playing transitions into an adventure is what AFF is all about. As Jeff says, “The play and the adventure are one.”

“I feel like kids are really good at not being fixed on a goal like: ‘Well,

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we’re going to reach this summit today.’

But just being out there and enjoying what they find in the moment,” he continues. “That’s always inspiring to me.”

Adventure isn’t just the challenge of doing something that no one’s done before, but noticing something that everyone else missed.

Jeff ’s sentiment mirrors the over-

reaching aim of the Adventure Film Festival and Jonny Copp’s legacy.

There is much to see at this year’s AFF, but don’t forget to pop in the Boulder Theater on Saturday and check out the Kids & Family show. It’s free and it’ll be packed with those who are ready to go out and make their own legends.

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buzz THIS IS ROCK AND ROLL After 25 years, Clutch continues to look forward

by Alan Sculley

T

his year marks the 25th anniversary of Clutch. But you won’t find frontman Neil Fallon getting overly nostalgic about the band’s history or thinking much about how to draw attention to the milestone.

“We (as a band) haven’t really even spoken about it at all,” Fallon says. “We’ve been asked what our plans are, and I think the best way to mark 25 years is to plan on doing another 25. We’re not a very nostalgic group of men. We’d rather move forward than just kind of think about a retrospective. I think a lot of artists are that way. That’s the creative spirit.

You want to create something new, not necessarily revisit the past. But having said that, maybe we will do something like that, who knows.”

Fallon’s words ring true. This fall finds Clutch in a decidedly forward-looking mode as the group tours behind its latest studio album Psychic Warfare.

Fallon says fans can expect Clutch’s set to feature some new songs and showcase a cross-section of material from across the 10 albums the Maryland-based band has released since 1993. see CLUTCH Page 30

Boulder Weekly

September 29, 2016 29

buzz CLUTCH from Page 29

“The majority of the set will be a mix of just about everything,” he says. Clutch actually had played all but one of the songs from Psychic Warfare on tour before the album was even recorded, rotating a song — maybe two — in and out of the sets each night. The test runs of the new songs paid benefits in getting the songs ready to record,” Fallon says.

“I think more than anything else it’s muscle memory because if you could write something in the studio, you’re still trying to remember it as you’re performing it,” he says.

“But if you have the opportunity to practice it, you’re not thinking about the words or the rhythms or the notes, you’re thinking about just emoting on your guitar or with your voice, and that is where the best performances happen for any artist, I think.”

Fallon is clearly excited about how Psychic Warfare ON THE BILL: Clutch. 7 came together. As p.m., Tuesday, Oct. 18, The Boulder Theater, 2032 14th with Clutch’s 2013 St., Boulder, 303-786-7030. album, Earth Rocker, the band spent a yearplus writing and demoing material for the new album.

“I think the writing was precisely the same, with the exception that we did all of the rehearsals in our warehouse (in Maryland), where we keep all of our gear,” Fallon says “We did a good portion of the recording of the record there as well. We did all of the drums and the basic tracks out in Texas, but we also did vocals and guitar overdubs here in Maryland, which is nice getting to go home to my own bed every night.”

He says Psychic Warfare continues a musical shift the band made toward faster songs on Earth Rocker.

“There are more similarities between this and Earth Rocker than between Earth Rocker and Strange Cousins,” the vocalist says, mentioning the slower and darker 2009 release, Strange Cousins from the West. “It’s a faster record. And I think that’s just because we were in a similar headspace.”

Like Earth Rocker, the new album is also made up of concise riff-heavy songs, as Clutch, which also includes guitarist Tim Sult, bassist Dan Maines and drummer Jean-Paul Gaster, has moved away from the longer, more epic types of songs that occasionally found their way on to albums from earlier in the group’s career, such as the group’s 1995 selftitled album or 1998’s The Elephant Riders.

“This is about as far away from a prog band album you can imagine,” Fallon says. “Most songs clock in at well under four minutes.”

Parallels with Earth Rocker noted, Fallon says he and his bandmates (Fallon writes Clutch’s lyrics, but the band as a whole collaborates on the music) continued to try to find areas to grow musically with the new album.

“I think there are two kind of hurdles to cross when you get a little bit older. One is you don’t want to repeat yourself, 30 September 29, 2016

but at the same time, you don’t want to ignore your strengths,” Fallon says. “I know with this record, I struggled a bit writing. I was kind of hung up because Earth Rocker was a very successful record for us and I didn’t want to just make Earth Rocker 2. I wanted to find new (lyrical) topics.

But then I also realized that you can’t over-think this. This is rock and roll. It should be from the heart. It’s not a doctoral dissertation.

“So writing lyrics is my favorite thing to do,” he continues. “It’s also the most maddening thing for me to do. If I sit Courtesy of Clutch down at nine o’clock at night and say, ‘I’m going to write some lyrics,’ it inevitably never happens. It happens when I’m sitting at a red light in traffic or pushing a shopping cart down the supermarket aisles.

That’s when suddenly a lyric pops into my head.”

Fallon doesn’t get into detail about lyrical themes on the new album, but says he picked up on the sci-fi theme that filtered into Earth Rocker on a couple of the new songs.

“Two of my favorite songs on Earth Rocker were ‘Crucial Velocity’ and ‘Unto The Breach’ and I think because, to me at least in my mind, they seemed to allude to some kind of science fiction short story. I kept that in mind with some of the songs on this record,” he says.

“It’s the same book, different chapter (on the new album), I guess in some ways.”

It makes sense that Clutch wanted to carry forward some elements of Earth Rocker. The album, which topped Billboard magazine’s Hard Rock Album chart and reached number 15 on the all-genre “Billboard 200” album chart, took Clutch to a new level of popularity. Now Psychic Warfare has gone one better, debuting at number 11.

To be 25 years into the band’s career and to be more successful than ever is a situation that’s not lost on Fallon as the group heads into its next chapter with Psychic Warfare.

“It’s been the best education you could imagine, to tour the world and meet people on a very real level from all walks of life,” Fallon says. “And sure, there has been feast and famine, and there have been good times and bad times and disagreements, but that’s like any other family. That’s nothing exceptional.

“If there’s one thing that I just nowadays think about quite a bit is how very fortunate I am to have made a career of it this long, and it’s the best it’s ever been now,” he says.

“To make a living doing something in the creative arts is a very rare thing to be able to do, and I thank my lucky stars every day that I’ve been granted this great luxury to do that.

I’m going wake up every day and outside the normal tasks of taking out the trash and doing the laundry, the only two things I have to do are write rock and roll music or perform rock and roll music. That’s what, every once in awhile I’ll take a step back and say, ‘Holy smokes, that’s amazing.’”

Boulder Weekly

overtones IN THE ARENA

Lindsey Stirling is ‘Brave Enough’

by Amanda Moutinho

L

indsey Stirling has spent her career pushing boundaries. While most violinists are known for sitting in a chair playing classical music, Stirling takes a different approach.

“I kind of use the violin as a metaphor,” she says. “Why can’t it be electronic? Why can’t I dance while I play? Just because it’s traditionally been a classical instrument doesn’t mean it can’t be whatever you want it to be” It’s an attitude that transcends her music and governs her life.

Zaeh Stirling “I feel the same way with people. ... I love to share that people can define themselves,” she says. “Turn your art or your life into what you want it to be.”

And Stirling has done just that. For the past few years she’s toured the world with her own ON THE BILL: Lindsey Stirling. 7 p.m. brand of perWednesday, Oct. 5, Red forming. She Rocks, 18300 W. Alameda rose to fame half Parkway, Morrison. a decade ago, starting by qualifying as a quarter finalist on America’s Got Talent. She went on to garner massive YouTube success with her electrifying performances and visually stunning music videos.

Her video for the hypnotic “Crystallize,” where Stirling dances with her violin through an ice castle, was the eighth most watched YouTube video of 2012.

She’s since released two instrumental albums, followed by this summer’s Brave Enough, which features not only Stirling’s prowess on violin, but her lyrical stylings as well.

Stirling was drawn to the violin as a child, noticing the instrument when her parents would take her to symphonies.

“I saw the violinists always get the fast parts and the solos, so when I was like 5 or 6 I was just begging for lessons,” she says. “And my parents were like, ‘I think she’s serious.’”

She went on to train in the traditional Suzuki method and played in her school orchestra. In high school, she joined a rock band called Stomp on Melvin.

“I loved the idea getting to write my own parts and create music rather than this regimented classical music where you played what was put in front of you on a piece of paper,” she says. “I thought it was so cool to be able to write and jam, and people would dance, and it was just so fun.”

Stirling began experimenting with mixing different musical genres, transcending the limitations of simply playing classical. On Brave Enough, Stirling had a laundry list of styles she wanted to try.

“I really wanted to have a Bollywood song (“Mirage”), I also wanted song with a country vocalist (“Those Days”), and I wanted a rapper (“Don’t Let This Feeling Fade”), I Boulder Weekly

HONDA SUBARU TOYOTA

high touch auto service

had all these things. I wanted to tie together so many different, unexpected genres and somehow make it feel like a cohesive piece of work,” she says. “It all just comes down to the style of my playing. And the violin kind of ties it all together.”

Brave Enough is a personal album for Stirling following the death of her best friend. She’s never been shy to talk about her struggles — her past single “Shatter Me” deals with her battling anorexia — but this album came at a time of great loss for her.

“I had closed myself off when I first started writing this album,” she says. “I was trying to numb myself from everything. I was trying to write; I was trying to emote; yet I couldn’t write anything. I realized before I was able to write, I had to open myself up again.”

Stirling used the album as a means to chronicle her grieving process, starting with the album’s first track, “Lost Girl.”

“It was how I felt at the beginning of the writing process, feeling a little bit lost, like I had lost my voice, that I had lost a huge piece of myself,” she says.

“And the album continuously gets warmer, in terms of the musicality and the tones but also thematically and what the songs are about.”

The record goes on to explore various themes including gratitude, hope and perseverance in the face of failure.

In her single for the album “The Arena,” the music gradually builds to a determined climax, as if following a brave hero on a daring journey that ends in success. In the song’s steam punk, post-apocalyptic music video, Stirling dances in a desert arena as onlookers jeer. She looked to a Theodore Roosevelt quote for the song’s inspiration: “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.”

Brave Enough also breaks new ground for Stirling. For the first time, her album features collaborations with singers, challenging Stirling to write lyrics as well as the music. The singers include Christina Perri, Andrew McMahon and Rivers Cuomo from Weezer.

“My high school band, we always wanted to sound like Weezer, and River sings on the album,” Stirling says. “If my 16-year-old self had known that, I would have had a panic attack, I’d be so excited. ... There’s a lot of people [on the album] that were kind of bucket list, dream collaborations.”

Stirling is now embarking on a national tour, and then she’ll head to Europe next year. In her stage shows, like in her videos, she embraces theatricality, with dancing, stage effects and a touch of magic.

“I love putting on a show,” she says. “That’s one of my favorite parts of the whole cycle. You write the music, you make the music video, and then you perform. Getting to see the music come to life on stage, and see people’s expressions and see them smile as I play these songs, it brings it to life for me as an artist.”

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Twist & Shout presents

THE SUBDUDES w/Felonius Smith

09.30 7:30pm

Fri L2 Church

$39 advance

LERA LYNN w/William Wild

Sat

10.01 $19 advance An evening with

JOHN MCCUTCHEON Fri 10.07 $22 advance DOM FLEMONS w/Victor & Penny

10.09

Sun 7:00pm $20 advance

An evening with

CHRIS SMITHER Fri 10.14 $25 advance BOBBY LONG Fri 10.14 $14 advance An evening with

JOHN GORKA Fri 10.21 $25 advance RICHARD SHINDELL Sat 10.22 $22 advance Most concerts are at Swallow Hill Music, 71 E. Yale Ave. Denver, CO 80210, and most start at 8pm. Special event venues and times vary. Check ticket or online for time and venue confirmation!

September 29, 2016 31

arts & culture

Michael Ensminger

In Ripcord, two mismatched roommates at an assisted living facility are like oil and water from the get go.

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RAMAYA & THE TROUBADOURS Happy Hour 4-8 Every Day THELAUGHINGGOAT.COM 32 September 29, 2016

D

espite all of its affluence, education and aspirations to cultural relevance, Boulder sometimes struggles with maintaining a vibrant theater scene. The Dairy Arts Center, which is Boulder’s analog to the Denver Center for the Performing Arts, serves as the cornerstone of Boulder theater.

With The Dairy unable to host performances for the better part of the past year due to extensive renovations, many theater companies faced significant challenges getting their shows in front of paying customers. Thankfully, The Dairy is once again open for theatrical business.

In mid-September, the Boulder prior to the events of the play, Marilyn Ensemble Theatre Company (BETC) moved in. Naturally, Marilyn is sunny, inaugurated The Dairy’s brand new talkative and forever optimistic. The Grace Gamm Theater in style with two women are oil and water from the Ripcord, the kickoff of BETC’s 11th get go. season and the regional premiere of Even though Abby’s taste buds have Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright and gone AWOL, Marilyn gets in the screenwriter David Lindsay-Abaire’s kitchen to make her favorite dessert, latest play. peach cobbler. Abby growls that it, like Audiences will ooh everything else, tastes and ah over the like paste to her. upgrades in the Grace Undeterred, Marilyn ON THE BILL: Ripcord Gamm Theater. The ceaselessly tries to — presented by BETC. The seats are far more engage with Abby, who Dairy Center for the Arts, comfortable and feameets each such 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826, betc.org. ture cup holders, the attempt with scorn, Through Oct. 9. Tickets are stadium design prodisdain and a razor $20 and up. vides better sight lines sharp tongue. In a clasall around as well as sic sitcom developincreased seating ment, it doesn’t take capacity, and it even has that “new the- long before Abby and Marilyn have ater” smell. All of those welcome addimade a bet. If Marilyn is able to scare tions will be quickly forgotten, howevthe unflappable Abby, the two will er, once the curtain goes up on Ripcord. switch beds — giving Marilyn the one As per usual, BETC’s latest is mastercloser to the window with the nice view fully crafted and exceptionally enterof the park. If Abby can make the plactaining. id Marilyn angry first, Marilyn will Ripcord is essentially an extended move into another room leaving Abby episode of a sitcom. If you’re a fan of once again blissfully alone.

Friends or a sucker for Seinfeld, you’ll Things escalate quickly and further love this riff on The Odd Couple. Set in than the average audience member will an assisted living facility, Ripcord centers expect. No spoilers here, but these two on two mismatched roommates, Abby older women are willing to break the (Billie McBride) and Marilyn (Anne laws of decorum — as well as of the Oberbroeckling). Abby, the prickly, state and federal governments — in terse, cantankerous one, has lived at the order to win their bet. One resultant facility for four years. For most of that scene hearkens back to Harold and time, she’s enjoyed a solitary, roomMaude in the most outrageously hilarimate-free existence, but a few weeks ous way possible.

The Abaire-able lightness of being

BETC and The Dairy are back!

by Gary Zeidner

Though other actors make appearances (Michael Bouchard plays the ladies’ good-natured primary caregiver, Lindsey Pierce and Kevin Lowry play Marilyn’s kooky daughter and son-inlaw, and Josh Hartwell plays Abby’s estranged son), Ripcord belongs to Abby and Marilyn, and McBride and Oberbroeckling shoulder the load like the pros they are. With lesser actors in those roles, Ripcord could easily devolve into groan-worthy, sub-sitcom camp, but with these two veteran thespians at work, BETC’s production, which is only the second ever of this new play, delivers loads of laughs along with the odd bit of touching sentiment.

Director Rebecca Remaly not only gets great performances from all of her actors but also nails the technical aspects of Ripcord. Aided by Set Co-Designers Tina Anderson and Ron Mueller, Remaly utilizes a modular set design that quickly and efficiently morphs from Abby and Marilyn’s bedroom to multiple rooms in a haunted house and to the nearby park, among other locales. Faced with the not inconsiderable challenge of how to portray skydiving on stage, Remaly finds some wonderfully creative ways to tackle the task.

The Dairy Arts Center is shiny and new in the best of ways. Whether it’s to take in a performance of Ripcord, to see an independent film or simply to check out the redesign, I can’t encourage you enough to pay it a visit.

Boulder Weekly

arts & culture Michael Ensminger

B

eyond the inability of many hardworking, taxpaying citizens who have health insurance to obtain necessary medical care at a reasonable cost; beyond ON THE BILL: The Taming — a legislature too busy presented the Catamounts. The back-stabbing and badDairy Arts Center, 2590 Walnut mouthing each other to St., Boulder, 303-440-7826.

Through Oct. 8. actually do their jobs; beyond the incestuous face-sucking of Wall Street and Washington at the expense of the 99 percent — How do you really know that the American political system is irretrievably broken?

A racist pile of pumpkin spice Missy Moore and McPherson Horle star in The Taming, a politically charged rendition of latte shit and an ethically comproShakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew. mised, angry elitist were the “best” options the two major political parties could come up with to hold the highest office in the land.

This stupid country.

Maybe if there were more plays like The Taming people would put aside their apathy and inconsequential differences and band together to finally force some desperately needed change. mise that is killing the American political system today.

Leave it to one of Boulder’s most boundary-pushing Also, three cheers for Gunderson promoting the abolition theater companies, the Catamounts, to bring an unusual of the Electoral College! Hip, hip! and affecting play like The Taming to town. With its rousThe Catamounts are obviously passionate about The ing call to arms, its unusual structure and its topical humor, Taming’s potential to both entertain and challenge its this quasi-experimental piece is the perfect choice to open audience. Each actor takes on multiple roles with equal the new Carsen Theatre at the recently renovated Dairy vim. They all seem to enjoy spouting Gunderson’s copiArts Center. With its customizable seating and flexible per- ous, clever one-liners like when the blogger exasperatedly formance space, the Carsen is sure to host some of the more cries, “How am I alive if I can’t tell people about it?” avant garde productions at The Dairy in the coming years.

Horle disappears most completely into her senator’s aid Prolific playwright and seemingly big-brained Lauren character; while Lounge and Moore exhibit excellent Gunderson wrote The Taming as a politically charged take range as they jump genders and generations throughout on Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew. While one could the play. argue the connections between Gunderson’s work and the Scenic Designer M. Curtis Grittner’s simple, static set Bard’s are tenuous at best, the play’s screaming plea for comprised of an unmade bed, a desk, two chairs and two some semblance of sanity in our nation’s politics is profound doors, gives the three actors everything they need and not and undeniable. an ounce more. The costuming by Liz Hoover identifies A Republican senator’s top aid, Patricia (McPherson each character — the beauty pageant contestant, the liberal Horle), and a left-wing blogger, Bianca (Missy Moore), social media warrior and the conservative political crusader wake up in a hotel room with no idea how they got there.

— before any of them utter their first line of dialogue.

Patricia is pants-less, both are phone-less, and they soon Director Edith Weiss pulls it all together and makes the most of the Carsen Theatre’s relatively small, open space discover that they are locked in. design.

The women’s imprisonment stems not from something The only criticism I have of The Taming is structural. as mundane as organ harvesting or a misguided reality TV Like The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, show pitch. It turns out they’ve been conscripted by Gunderson’s play suffers from an excess of endings. As was Katherine (Laura Lounge), a Constitutional scholar who clear by the unanimous round of applause at one point, also happens to be a Miss America contestant, to help fix there is a moment that clearly should mark the end of The the Technicolor mess we call our government.

What ensues is part raucous political debate, part drawTaming. For whatever reason, Gunderson blew right past ing room comedy and part revisionist historical reenactthat and tacked on a coda that feels a lot like unnecessary ment. Gunderson’s agenda is clearly to appeal for a return filler. Thankfully, the rest of The Taming is strong enough to to rationality and compromise as the cornerstones of a sane overcome that questionable choice. and sustainable political system, and I, for one, applaud her It is wonderful to have the Catamounts back home at efforts. America was founded on, and arguably couldn’t have The Dairy, and they couldn’t have chosen a better play than been founded without, compromise. It is a lack of comproThe Taming to kick off their 2016-2017 season.

The second American Revolution

Catamounts christen the Carsen

by Gary Zeidner

Boulder Weekly

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ALTER-EAGLES JAM FEATURING

THE LONG RUN “A Night of Rock Classics exempting The Eagles”

Sunday October 9th

LEWIS & CHURCH EXPEDITIONS IN JAZZ “CD Release Party” FREE ADMISSION

Thursday October 13th

7TH HEAVEN “Rock” FREE ADMISSION

Friday October 14th

MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE “THE POLICE TRIBUTE” & NEW WAVE REVIVAL “80s Dance”

Saturday October 15th

THE COMEDY CREW FEATURING KEVIN O’BRIEN, GRETCHEN HESS, BOB MEDDLES, AND HEADLINER, DEACON GRAY INVADES NISSIS WITH LAUGHS, GUFFAWS AND HYSTERICS

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Boulder Weekly

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Courtesy Red House Records

THE PINES. 7 p.m.

eTown Hall, 1535 Spruce St., Boulder, 303-443-8696.

Thursday, September 29 Music ’80s Dance Party! Theme — Revenge of the Nerds! 9 p.m. Bohemian Biergarten, 2017 13th St., Boulder, 720-328-8328.

Alohi and the Freelife. 9 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628.

Ben Hammond (Live-Looped). 6 p.m. Very Nice Brewing Company, 20 Lakeview Drive, Unit 112, Nederland, 303-258-3770.

Billy Shaddox Band. 8:30 p.m. Oskar Blues Brewery, 303 Main St., Lyons, 303-823-6685.

Bluegrass Jam. 7 p.m. Front Range Brewing, 400 W. South Boulder Road, Suite 1650, Lafayette, 303-339-0767.

Come together

Wikimedia Commons/C. Kuhl LAMPEDUSA: Concerts for Refugees kicks off their international month-long tour at the Boulder Theater with a long list of popular musical acts coming together to raise awareness about the worldwide refugee crisis. The show will feature performances from Grammy Awardwinning artists Emmylou Harris, Steve Earle, Patty Griffin, Buddy Miller and The Milk Carton Kids. All proceeds from the benefit tour will go to Jesuit Refugee Service’s Global Education Initiative, which helps displaced migrants living in camps and urban settings in 45 countries by providing educational opportunities to the 725,000 people the organization serves.

— Claire Woodcock

Boulder Weekly

Nancy Walker Trio. 7:30 p.m. Por Wine House, 836 1/2 Main St., Louisville, 970-259-3555.

Boulder Swing Collective. 9 p.m. Waterloo, 809 Main St., Louisville, 303-993-2094.

Open Mic. 6:30 p.m. Dickens Opera House, 300 Main St., Longmont, 720-297-6397.

The Figments. 7:30 p.m. The Barn, Longmont, 303-725-3647.

Stereo Collision. 7:30 p.m. Nissi’s, 2675 Northpark Drive, Lafayette, 303-665-2757.

Funk You with Good Touch. 10 p.m. The Lazy Dog, 1346 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-3355.

Events

Jack Hadley. 6 p.m. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids and Solids, 1555 S. Hover Road, Longmont, 303-485-9400.

Margo Cilker. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628.

Cabaret — presented by Roundabout Theatre Company.

Denver Performing Arts Complex, 1345 Champa St., Denver, 720-865-4239. Through Joan Marcus Oct. 9.

Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome to Cabaret, which is dancing through the Buell Theater through Oct. 9. The classic 1966 musical from Kander and Ebb follows the fabulous performer Sally Bowles and her new friend American writer Cliff Bradshaw living in 1931 Germany under the shadow of the burgeoning Nazi regime. Cabaret shows us that sometimes when the world is bleak, you need to escape into a world of fun. As the opening song says, “Leave your troubles outside ... here, life is beautiful.” But as the Nazis gain power, the carefree life becomes harder to enjoy.

Sashay

LAMPEDUSA: Concerts for Refugees. 7 p.m. Thursday, Oct. 6, Boulder Theater, 2032 14th St., Boulder, 303-786-7030.

Bluegrass Pick. 6 p.m. West Flanders Brewing Company, 1125 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-447-BREW.

Aspiring Artists (ages 13-16). 5 p.m. Tinker Art Studio, 1300 Yellow Pine Ave., Suite B, Boulder, 303-503-1902.

Hike for Seniors. 10 a.m. Mud Lake Open Space, Boulder, 303-678-6200.

see EVENTS Page 40

Diversity in Theatre. 7 p.m. Monday, Oct. 3, Curious Theatre Company, 1080 Acoma St., Denver, 303-623-0524.

Curious Theatre Company tackles diversity in a set of three panels. The first, “The Big Picture,” will focus on why diversity in theatre is important and the obstacles the industry faces when expanding to be more diverse. Moderating the first panel is Chip Walton, who has been the producing art director for the Curious Theatre Company since the organization was founded in 1997. A variety of speakers will be at the panel, including a representative from the Black Actors Guild and an artistic director of a local theater.

— Zach Evens

Learn

SEE FULL EVENT LISTINGS ONLINE. To have an event considered for the calendar, send information to calendar@ boulderweekly. com. Please be sure to include address, date, time and phone number associated with each event. The deadline for consideration is Thursday at noon the week prior to publication. Boulder Weekly does not guarantee the publication of any event.

September 29, 2016 39

COLORADO volleybal Friday, SEPT. 30 #23 USC vs. #20 COLORADO

8 PM • COORS EVENTS CENTER

Sunday, oct. 2 #12 UCLA vs. #20 COLORADO

COLORADO football

12 PM • COORS EVENTS CENTER

saturday, oct. 1

OREGON STATE vs.

COLORADO

COLORADO crosscountry

12:30 PM • FOLSOM FIELD

saturday, oct. 1

ROCKY MOUNTAIN SHOOTOUT 9 AM MEN’S 8K 9:45 AM WOMEN’S 5.8K SOUTH CAMPUS

303-49-BUFFS OR

CUBuffs.com 40 September 29, 2016

events EVENTS from Page 39

arts

Homeschool Art: Full Spectrum (ages 9-13). 10 a.m. Tinker Art Studio, 1300 Yellow Pine Ave., Suite B, Boulder, 303-503-1902.

HOVAB — 121 Years of Boulder’s Visual Arts History — Opening Reception. 6:30 p.m. BMoCA, 1750 13th St., Boulder, 303-443-2122.

Lowriders: Cars & Culture. 9 a.m. Longmont Museum, 400 Quail Road, Longmont, 303-651-8374.

Stein Holding Competition. 7 p.m. Bohemian Biergarten, 2017 13th St., Boulder, 720-328-8328.

Tinkerers Club (ages 8-10). 3:30 p.m. Tinker Art Studio, 1300 Yellow Pine Ave., Suite B, Boulder, 303-503-1902.

Ana Maria Hernando: We Have Flowers. CU Art Museum, 1085 18th St., Boulder, 303-4928300. Through Oct. 22.

Colorado Lowriders. Longmont Museum, 400 Quail Road, Longmont, 303-651-8374. Through May 31.

Glory of Venice. Denver Art Museum, 100 W. William Havu Gallery

Trivia by Tobias. 7 p.m. Johnny’s Cigar Bar, 1801 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-0884.

UCAR Community Art Program Exhibits. 8 a.m. NCAR, 1850 Table Mesa Drive, Boulder.

1750 13th St., 303-443-2122. Through Jan. 5.

HOVAB @ The Dairy Arts Center; Criss-Cross Collective; Front Range Women in the Wisual Arts Foundres. The Dairy Arts Center, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826. Through Nov. 27.

HOVAB @ Macky: Shark’s Ink. BMoCA at Macky, 285 University Ave., Boulder, 303-492-8423. Through Nov. 18.

Ladies and Gentlemen Meet the Dramastics — Nathan Carter. Museum of Contemporary Art, 1485 Delgany St., Denver, 303-298-7554.

Through Jan. 29.

Looking Back: 40 Years/40 Artists. Arvada Center, 6901 Wadsworth Blvd., Arvada, 720-898-7200. Through Nov. 13.

Friday, September 30 Music Antonio Lopez. 8 p.m. SKEYE Brewing, 900 S. Hover St., Unit D, Longmont, 303-774-7698.

Moving Foward: The Next 40 Years. Arvada Center, 6901 Wadsworth Blvd., Arvada, 720-898-7200. Through Nov. 13.

Big Thompson Flood and Jubilingo. 7 p.m.

Dickens Opera House, 300 Main St., Longmont, 720-297-6397.

Mysterium Tremendum: collecting curiosity.

CU Art Museum, 1085 18th St., Boulder, 303-492-8300. Through Dec. 17.

Bonnie and the Clydes. 8:30 p.m. Oskar Blues Brewery, 303 Main St., Lyons, 303-823-6685.

Chris Daniels & The Kings. 7:30 p.m. Nissi’s, 2675 Northpark Drive, Lafayette, 303-665-2757.

Chris Smith. 6 p.m. Very Nice Brewing Company, 20 Lakeview Drive, Unit 112, Nederland, 303-258-3770.

Christopher Michael Cooney. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628.

Contraband. 8:30 p.m. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids and Solids, 1555 S. Hover Road, Longmont, 303-485-9400.

Danny Shafer. 6 p.m. Upslope Brewing Company (Lee Hill), 1501 Lee Hill Road, Suite 20, Boulder, 508-873-9185.

David Booker Duo. 7:30 p.m. Oskar Blues CyclHOPS, 600 S. Airport Road, Longmont, 303-776-BIKE. Deadphish Orchestra with Electric Toast. 7 p.m.

The Caribou Room, 55 Indian Peaks Drive, Nederland, 303-258-3637.

Eric Hutchinson, Great Caesar, Haddon Cord.

8:30 p.m. The Fox Theatre, 1135 13th St., Boulder, 720-645-2467.

The Global Soul Experience. 10 p.m. Pioneer Inn, 15 E. First St., Nederland, 303-258-7733.

Goatz. 5 p.m. Oskar Blues Tasty Weasel Tap Room, 1800 Pike Road, Unit B, Longmont, 303-776-1914.

The Goonies. 10 p.m. Bohemian Biergarten, 2017 13th St., Boulder, 720-328-8328.

Graphite Addiction. 7 p.m. La Vita Bella Coffeehouse, 475 Main St., Longmont, 720-204-6298.

The Heartstring Hunters. 7 p.m. World Of Beer, 921 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-728-9155.

Head to the Arvada Center to look back on 40 years with 40 artists presenting works like “Sushe Felix; Planes, Trains and Automobiles.”

14th Ave. Parkway, Denver, 720-865-5000.

Through Feb. 12.

HOVAB: Evolving Visions of Land and Landscape. Boulder Museum of Contemporary Art,

Shockwave. Denver Art Museum, 100 W. 14th Ave. Parkway, Denver, 720-865-5000. Through May 28.

Ben Knighten. 10 a.m. The Stone Cup, 442 High St., Lyons, 303-823-2345.

TIN. 10 p.m. The Lazy Dog, 1346 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-3355.

Bonnie and the Clydes. 8 p.m. Jamestown Mercantile Cafe, 108 Main St., Jamestown, 303-442-5847.

Todd Adelman and the Country Mile. 10 p.m.

Waterloo, 809 Main St., Louisville, 303-993-2094.

Bowie and Prince Tribute Night. 6:30 p.m.

Longmont Museum, 400 Quail Road, Longmont, 303-651-8374.

Troy Clayton. 5 p.m. Pearl Street Pub, 1108 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-777-6768.

The Vulnerable Cure. 7:30 p.m. The Dairy Arts Center, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-444-7328.

Events Boulder Tango Festival. 1 p.m. Avalon Ballroom, 6185 Arapahoe Road, Boulder, 303-499-6363.

Exploring 2-D Art: Painting, Printing, Collaging, And More! 3:30 p.m. Tinker Art Studio, 1300 Yellow Pine Ave., Suite B, Boulder, 303-503-1902.

Homeschool Art: Full Spectrum (ages 5-8). 9 a.m. Tinker Art Studio, 1300 Yellow Pine Ave., Suite B, Boulder, 303-503-1902.

Lowriders: Cars & Culture. 9 a.m. Longmont Museum, 400 Quail Road, Longmont, 303-651-8374.

Masterpiece Markers (Ages 3-5). 1 p.m. Tinker Art Studio, 1300 Yellow Pine Ave., Suite B, Boulder, 303-503-1902.

Intuit Band Pre CD release party. 10 a.m. Shine Restaurant & Gathering Place, 2027 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-0120.

Pokémon Expeditions: Ages 18+. 2:30 p.m.

Chautauqua Ranger Cottage, Boulder, 303-442-3282.

Jason Klobnak Quartet. 7 p.m. Caffe Sole, 637R S. Broadway St., Boulder, 303-499-2985.

Set Your Words On Fire. 7 p.m. Firehouse Art Center, 667 Fourth Ave., Longmont, 303-651-2787.

Lloyd Morris — Western Entertainment. 6:30 p.m. Still Cellars, 1115 Colorado Ave., Longmont, 720-204-6064.

Saturday, October 1

Sixty Minute Men. 10 p.m. Conor O’Neill’s, 1922 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-1922.

Pioneers: Women Artists in Boulder, 18981950. CU Art Museum, 1085 18th St., Boulder, 303-492-8300. Through Feb. 4.

SoundRabbit. 9 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628.

The Hurtado Hesse Duo. 8:30 p.m. The Roost, 526 Main St., Longmont, 303-827-3380.

Selasee & The Fafa Family. 6:30 p.m. St Julien Hotel & Spa, 900 Walnut St., Boulder, 720-406-9696.

On Desert Time. Denver Art Museum, 100 W. 14th Ave. Parkway, Denver, 720-865-5000.

Through Jan. 8.

Music Barking at Dogs Concert. 9 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-4404628.

Barrel of Blues. 6:30 p.m. Front Range Brewing, 400 W. South Boulder Road, Suite 1650, Lafayette, 303-339-0767.

Deadset. 9 p.m. The Dark Horse, 2922 Baseline Road, Boulder, 303-442-8162.

Electric Cellist/Vocalist Jami Sieber in Concert.

7:30 p.m. Joy in Motion Studio, 4800 Baseline Road, Suite D206, Boulder, 720-428-8612.

FBT Presents: 31 Days of Halloween. 8 p.m. First Base Tapes, 4570 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder.

Foggy Tops. 10 a.m. Longmont Farmers’ Market, 9595 Nelson Road, Longmont, 303-910-2236.

Foxfeather. 9 p.m. Left Hand Brewing Company, 1265 Boston Ave., Longmont, 303-772-0258.

George Nelson. 10 p.m. Pioneer Inn, 15 E. First St., Nederland, 303-258-7733.

George Nelson Trio. 4:30 p.m. Oskar Blues Tasty Weasel Tap Room, 1800 Pike Road, Unit B, Longmont, 303-776-1914.

Happy Hour Live Jazz. 5:30 p.m. Tandoori Grill South, 619 S. Broadway, Boulder, 303-543-7339.

Hotfoot Duo. 7:30 p.m. Oskar Blues CyclHOPS, 600 S. Airport Road, Longmont, 303-776-BIKE. Jubilate Singers Annual Friends and Family Concert. 7 p.m. St. Andrew Presbyterian Church, 3700 Baseline Road, Boulder, 303-494-8094.

Loving The Alien. 7:30 p.m. Nissi’s, 2675 Northpark Drive, Lafayette, 303-665-2757.

Makeshift Funk. 6 p.m. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids and Solids, 1555 S. Hover Road, Longmont, 303-485-9400. see EVENTS Page 42

Boulder Weekly

events

EVENTS from Page 40

words

Mark Diamond & Ed Edwards. 7 p.m. Longs Peak Pub & Taphopuse, 600 Longs Peak Ave., Longmont, 303-651-7886.

Thursday, Sept. 29

Mountain Meadow String Band. 6:30 p.m. St Julien Hotel & Spa, 900 Walnut St., Boulder, 720-406-9696.

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Jerry Lynch — Let Them Play. 7:30 p.m. Boulder Book Store, 1107 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-447-2074.

Mr. ShackOlove. 8 p.m. Wibby Brewing, 209 Emery St., Longmont, 303-776-4594.

Christien Gholson. 7 p.m. Innisfree Poetry Bookstore & Cafe, 1301 Pennsylvania Ave., Boulder, 303-495-3303.

Pit Folk. 7 p.m. Grossen Bart Brewery, 1025 Delaware Ave., Longmont, 214-770-9847.

Monday, Oct. 3 David Shannon — Duck on a Tractor. 4:30 p.m. Boulder Book Store, 1107 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-447-2074.

The Record Company. 9 p.m. The Fox Theatre, 1135 13th St., Boulder, 720-645-2467.

Journal 2020. 7 p.m. Innisfree Poetry Bookstore & Cafe, 1301 Pennsylvania Ave., Boulder, 303-495-3303.

Rogue 2. 8 p.m. Liquid Mechanics Brewing Company, 297 U.S. 287, Lafayette, 720-550-7813.

“So, You’re a Poet” Open Poetry Reading. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628.

Romero Unplugged. 3 p.m. The Post Chicken & Beer, 1258 S. Hover Road, Longmont, 720-588-2883.

Second Acts. 7 p.m. Caffe Sole, 637R S. Broadway St., Boulder, 303-499-2985.

Silkk Tha Shocker & K.c.K.. 7 p.m. Dickens Opera House, 300 Main St., Longmont, 303-543-1411.

Swing Dance with Karen Osburn Band. 7 p.m. Barrio E’ Centro, 471 Main St., Longmont, 787-914-9554.

Thornberry. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628.

Tuesday, Oct. 4 For those with a nose for adventure, or those seeking adventure on the Nose, stop

by Boulder Book Store to hear Jayme Moye & Hans Florine talk about their new book, On the Nose: A Lifelong Obsession with Yosemite’s Most Iconic Climb.

Innisfree Weekly Open Poetry Reading. 7 p.m. Innisfree Poetry Bookstore & Cafe, 1301 Pennsylvania Ave., Boulder, 303-4953303.

Jayme Moye & Hans Florine — On the Nose. 7:30 p.m. Boulder Book Store, 1107 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-447-2074.

Wednesday, Oct. 5 Joe Herzanek — Why Don’t They Just Quit. 7:30 p.m. Boulder Book Store, 1107 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-447-2074.

The Vulnerable Cure. 7:30 p.m. The Dairy Arts Center, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-444-7328.

The Treasures of Toothless Jack: A-Pick-APath-Play. 3 p.m. Chautauqua Park, 900 Baseline Road, Boulder, 303-442-3282.

Wake Up and Live: A Bob Marley Tribute. 10 p.m.

The Lazy Dog, 1346 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-3355.

U.S. Senate and Congressional Candidate Forum. 2 p.m. YWCA of Boulder County, 2222 14th St., Boulder, 303-443-0419.

Events

Sunday, October 2

Boulder Adventure Film Fest Kids’ Program. 12 p.m. Boulder Theater, 2032 14th St., Boulder, 303-786-7030.

Music

Boulder Arts and Crafts Gallery Call For Entries. 10 a.m.

Boulder Arts & Crafts Gallery, 1421 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-443-3683.

theater Michael Ensminger

Jus Sayin w/ Dechen Hawk. 10 p.m. Mountain Sun Pub, 1535 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-546-0886.

Kristina Murray. 7 p.m. Nissi’s, 2675 Northpark Drive, Lafayette, 303-665-2757.

Marian Hill. 8 p.m. The Fox Theatre, 1135 13th St., Boulder, 720-645-2467.

Cabaret. Denver Performing Arts Complex, 1345 Champa St., Denver, 720-8654239. Through Oct. 9.

The Glass Menagerie. Denver Performing Arts Complex, 1345 Champa St., Denver, 720-865-4239. Through Oct. 16.

God of Carnage. Miner’s Alley Theatre, 1224 Washington Ave., Golden, 303-9353044. Through Oct. 16.

Boulder GreenBeerFest. 11 a.m. Boulder Bandshell, Broadway and Canyon, Boulder, 303-413-7200.

I Ought to be in Pictures. Longmont Theatre Company. 513 Main St., Longmont, 303-772-5200. Through Oct. 1.

Mid-Life 2. BDT Stage, 5501 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303-449-6000. Through Nov. 12.

Boulder Tango Festival. 1 p.m.

Avalon Ballroom, 6185 Arapahoe Road, Boulder, 303-499-6363.

CSArt Colorado Artist Toolkit. 10 a.m.

Boulder Museum of Contemporary Art, 1750 13th St., Boulder, 303-443-2122.

1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628.

If the election has got you down, then head to The Dairy to watch the Catamounts’ new comedy The Taming, about a Republican senator, a liberal blogger and a beauty queen. Check out BW’s review on page 34.

Handmade in Colorado Expo in Boulder. 9 a.m. Central Park, 1236 Canyon Blvd., Boulder.

Open Studios Tour. 12 p.m., Boulder, openstudios. org.

Quaking Aspen Hike. 10 a.m. Mud Lake Open Space, Boulder, 303-678-6200.

Ripcord — presented by Boulder Ensemble Theatre Company. The Dairy Arts Center, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303440-7826. Through Oct. 9.

The Taming — presented by The Catamounts. The Dairy Arts Center, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826.

Through Oct. 8.

Matt Flaherty. 1 p.m. The Post Brewing Company, 105 W. Emma St., Lafayette, 303-593-2066.

No Bird Ever Flew. 7:30 p.m. Gold Hill Inn, 401 Main St., Boulder, 303-443-6461.

The Prairie Scholars. 6 p.m. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids and Solids, 1555 S. Hover Road, Longmont, 303-485-9400.

Seth Phillips. 4:30 p.m.

Left Hand Brewing Company, 1265 Boston Ave., Longmont, 303-772-0258.

Stone House. 10 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628.

Trance Drum & Dance.

5 p.m. Free Motion Dance Studio, 2126 Pearl St., Boulder, 415-290-9242.

Tyler Grant Trio. 8:30 p.m. Oskar Blues Brewery, 1800 Pikes Road, Unit B, Longmont, 303-823-6685.

Events

Acoustic Jam. 3 p.m. Conor O’Neill’s, 1922 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-1922.

AJ Fullerton. 9 a.m. The Stone Cup, 442 High St., Lyons, 303-823-2345.

SALSA Lotería in Spanish. 7 p.m. Arts Hub, 420 Courtney Way, Lafayette, 303-229-1127.

Bluegrass Pick. 12 p.m. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids and Solids, 1555 S. Hover Road, Longmont, 303-485-9400.

Saturday Morning Groove. 10:30 a.m. Free Motion Dance Studio, 2126 Pearl St., Boulder, 720-379-8299.

Eddie Danger. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628.

Humbird. 9 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse,

Boulder Arts and Crafts Gallery Call For Entries. 11 a.m. Boulder Arts & Crafts Gallery, 1421 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-443-3683.

Boulder GreenBeerFest. 11 a.m. Boulder Bandshell, Broadway and Canyon, Boulder, 303-413-7200.

Boulder Tango Festival. 1 p.m. Avalon Ballroom, 6185 Arapahoe Road, Boulder, 303-499-6363. see EVENTS Page 44

Boulder Weekly

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Boulder Weekly

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Musical hikes, Oct. 1 & 8 Intimate house recital, Oct. 6 See website for details

www.BoulderPhil.org ȏ 303.449.1343 September 29, 2016 43

events

EVENTS from Page 42

Handmade in Colorado Expo in Boulder. 11 a.m.

Central Park, 1236 Canyon Blvd., Boulder.

Hawaiian Hula Classes. 5 p.m. The Dairy Arts Center, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-447-9772.

Open Studios Tour. 12 p.m. Boulder, openstudios. org.

Monday, October 3 Music Hotsoup. 9:30 p.m. Southern Sun Pub & Brewery, 627 S. Broadway, Boulder, 303-543-0886.

Open Jovan. 6 p.m. Jamestown Mercantile Cafe, 108 Main St., Jamestown, 303-442-5847.

Open Stage. 6 p.m. Oskar Blues Tasty Weasel Tap Room, 1800 Pike Road, Unit B, Longmont, 303-7761914.

Potluck Bluegrass. 7 p.m. La Vita Bella Coffeehouse, 475 Main St., Longmont, 720-204-6298.

Events Adult Wheel Throwing: Beginners/Intermediate.

6:30 p.m. Tinker Art Studio, 1300 Yellow Pine Ave., Suite B, Boulder, 303-503-1902.

Movement Mondays. 7 p.m. Free Motion Dance Studio, 2126 Pearl St., Boulder, 720-379-8299.

Tuesday, October 4 Music

Bluegrass Jam. 8 p.m. Oskar Blues Brewery, 1800 Pikes Road, Unit B, Longmont, 303-823-6685.

Faculty Tuesday: Clarinetist Daniel Silver and Friends. 7:30 p.m. Grusin Music Hall, Imig Music Building, Boulder, 303-492-8008.

The Gasoline Lollipops. 8:30 p.m. Waterloo, 809 Main St., Louisville, 303-993-2094.

The Matt Human Trio. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628.

Open Jam. 10 p.m. The Lazy Dog, 1346 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-3355.

Open Mic. 9 p.m. Pioneer Inn, 15 E. First St., Neder-

land, 303-258-7733.

Open Mic Hosted By Brian Rezac. 8 p.m. The Speakeasy, 301 Main St., Longmont, 720-684-4728.

Open Mic Hosted by Danny Shafer. 8 p.m. Conor O’Neill’s, 1922 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-1922.

Open Mic with The Prairie Scholars. 6 p.m.

SKEYE Brewing, 900 S. Hover St., Unit D, Longmont, 303-774-7698.

Shantyman and the Speakeasies. 6 p.m. Upslope Brewing Company (Flatiron Park), 1898 S. Flatiron Court, Boulder, 508-873-9185.

Strange Birds. 6:30 p.m. St Julien Hotel & Spa, 900 Walnut St., Boulder, 720-406-9696.

Events Adult Life Drawing. 6:30 p.m. Tinker Art Studio, 1300 Yellow Pine Ave., Suite B, Boulder, 303-503-1902.

Boulder Arts and Crafts Gallery Call For Entries.

10 a.m. Boulder Arts & Crafts Gallery, 1421 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-443-3683.

Boulder Bike Challenge. All day. Boulder County, Boulder, 303-444-3636.

Children’s Wheel Throwing 1 (ages 8-13). 3:45 p.m. Tinker Art Studio, 1300 Yellow Pine Ave., Suite B, Boulder, 303-503-1902.

Children’s Wheel Throwing 2 (ages 8-13). 5 p.m.

Tinker Art Studio, 1300 Yellow Pine Ave., Suite B, Boulder, 303-503-1902.

Give Back Tuesday. 4 p.m. Under The Sun, 627 South Broadway, Boulder, 303-927-6921.

Lowriders: Cars & Culture- Curator Conversations. 12 p.m. Longmont Museum, 400 Quail Road, Longmont, 303-651-8374.

Wednesday, October 5 Music Ben Hammond. 6:30 p.m. Rayback Collective, 2775 Valmont Road, Boulder, 720-885-1234.

Bianca Del Rio. 8 p.m. Boulder Theater, 2032 14th St., Boulder, 303-786-7030.

Billy Shaddox Duo. 3 p.m. Oskar Blues Tasty Weasel Tap Room, 1800 Pike Road, Unit B, Longmont, 303-776-1914.

Blues Night. 10 p.m. Pioneer Inn, 15 E. First St., Nederland, 303-258-7733.

The Brothers Sull. 6:30 p.m. Still Cellars, 1115 Colorado Ave., Longmont, 720-204-6064.

Coop and the Chicken Pluckers. 6 p.m. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids and Solids, 1555 S. Hover Road, Longmont, 303-485-9400.

LeesaAnn Preitauer. 6 p.m. Espresso Vino by Brewing Market, 2770 Dagny Way, Lafayette, 720-890-3993.

Open Bluegrass Pick. 7 p.m. Longs Peak Pub & Taphopuse, 600 Longs Peak Ave., Longmont, 303-651-7886.

Open Bluegrass Pick Hosted by Kyle Ussery.

8:30 p.m. Conor O’Neill’s, 1922 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-1922.

Open Mic. 6:30 p.m. Cannon Mine Coffee, 210 S. Public Road, Lafayette, 303-665-0625.

CALL NOW TO BOOK THE BAND FOR A ROCKIN’ PARTY

303-819-8182 www.hindsightclassicrock.com 44 September 29, 2016

Purple Squirrel. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628.

Roots & Rhythm. 7:30 p.m. Nissi’s, 2675 Northpark Drive, Lafayette, 303-665-2757.

World Beat. 2 p.m. The Dairy Arts Center, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-444-7328.

Events Birding Through the Seasons. 7 p.m. Longmont Public Library, Longmont, 303-651-8470.

Facebook Marketing Hands-On. 6 p.m. Boulder Digital Arts, 1600 Range St., Suite 100, Boulder, 303-800-4647.

Boulder Weekly

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The Jockey

by Elise Hempel

American Life in Poetry: Wikimedia Commons Column 598: I’d guess that many of us like old toys. As a boy I had a wind-up tin submarine that dove and surfaced, and a few years ago I saw one just like it in the window of an antique store, making me, of course, an antique. Here’s a poem by Elise Hempel of Illinois, from Able Muse: A Review of Poetry. Her newest book, Second Rain, came out in August 2016, from Able Muse Press. — Ted Kooser, U.S. Poet Laureate Atop his exhausted buggy with its rusted wheels and now-stuck key, one boot missing, a faded jersey, the bill of his cap cracked off, he sits

吀䠀唀刀匀䐀䄀夀Ⰰ 伀䌀吀伀䈀䔀刀 ㄀㌀ 䈀伀唀䰀䐀䔀刀 吀䠀䔀䄀吀䔀刀

吀䤀䌀䬀䔀吀匀 䄀一䐀 䐀䔀吀䄀䤀䰀匀 䄀吀

吀䔀吀伀一䜀刀䄀嘀䤀吀夀⸀䌀伀䴀⼀䈀伀唀䰀䐀䔀刀 䘀刀䔀䔀 䴀伀一ⴀ吀䠀唀 䌀刀䔀匀吀䔀䐀 䈀唀吀吀䔀 吀䤀䌀䬀䔀吀匀 䘀伀刀 䄀䰀䰀 䄀吀吀䔀一䐀䔀䔀匀℀

behind a nicked brown horse that once flicked its tail, clattered around planked floor or rug when the buggy was wound after school by children who’ve since fallen behind him, white-haired or gone, as he still waves the flopping spring of his crop, still stares through dimming goggles, gathering gray ribbons

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of dust in his silent, frozen race down an ever-unfurling track, hunched to win, leaving far back all claps and laughter, his once-smooth face scarred and pitted, just the white fleck of a smile now, more a sneer, his empty fists on the reins of air still holding tight.

We do not accept unsolicited submissions. American Life in Poetry is made possible by The Poetry Foundation (www.poetryfoundation.org), publisher of Poetry magazine. It is also supported by the Department of English at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln.

Poem copyright ©2015 by Elise Hempel , “The Jockey,” (Able Muse: A Review of Poetry, No. 20, Winter 2015). Poem reprinted by permission of Elise Hempel and the publisher. Introduction copyright © 2016 by The Poetry Foundation. The introduction’s author, Ted Kooser, served as United States Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress from 2004-2006.

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September 29, 2016 45

screen It whistleblows

No pardoning this ‘Snowden’

by Ryan Syrek

T

here’s a good movie to be made about the controversial whistleblowing actions of Edward Snowden. It’s a documentary called Citizenfour, and you should really watch it.

Director Oliver Stone’s Snowden, on the other hand, asks the important question: “What’s the most boring way one can approach an inherently fascinating topic?” That answer involves Joseph Gordon-Levitt doing a vocal impression of Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs and Nicholas Cage drunkenly proclaiming “He did it! The kid did it!” from a recliner.

Much like the inert Sully, which somehow looks competent by comparison, Snowden hops, skips and jumps around in time in an effort to craft a “thrilling” narrative structure. Unlike Sully, which somehow is no longer the most boring film released this September, Snowden didn’t have to do this. There’s a built-in arc to Snowden’s patriotic evolution, complete with a thrilling “heist” climax and an international slow-speed pursuit denouement.

Instead, Stone’s film condenses all that compelling Is patriotism about loyalty to the government or the people?

Oliver Stone’s Snowden fails to explore this question beyond the stuff to maybe 15 superficial. minutes so he can instead show us bros pheasant hunting and Snowden gettin’ his swerve on.

We see Snowden (Gordon-Levitt) as he meets his girlfriend, Lindsay (Shailene Woodley), during his training to be a CIA analyst. Determined to serve his country by stopping terrorism, Snowden travels the globe, at each point discovering just how icky the intelligence community has become in the wake of 9/11. When he eventually finds that a program he designed is helping to capture buttloads of information on innocent Americans, Snowden steals some files and goes to the press. Then he flees the country and gets stuck in Russia, which means he has an untoppable “worst travel story ever.”

Snowden remains a divisive figure to those who haven’t spent much time truly considering his deliberate, patriotic actions. Stone and company do a thorough job showing his careful process in releasing sensitive materials through respected journalists. But that’s what Citizenfour did... and that movie showed the real events as they happened. Ostensibly, the reason for a biopic on the same subject matter is to explore the emotional crisis of conscience that resulted in espionage or to thrillingly dramatize the boosting of state secrets and subsequent escape. Nope. We get a monotone Gordon-Levitt spontaneously switching to super spy and a run-of-the-mill “will the download be complete before he gets caught” sequence.

What’s maddening is that Snowden’s actual actions are filthy with dense themes and meaning, striking at the core of critical patriotism and asking if a citizen need be loyal to the government or the people. None of that gets explored here beyond the superficial. In Snowden, the final straw is when his girlfriend’s emails are hacked; this reduces his complex rejection of systemic corruption to being pissed people read his lady’s messages. Furthermore, for the amount of time dedicated to the romantic relationship, it’s straight bullshit that the resolution of that union is only described in text at the film’s end.

Snowden is a plodding, pedantic exercise in how not to approach culturally compelling material, featuring one of the most laughable lead performances in an alleged prestige picture. The real Snowden deserves clemency. Snowden belongs in jail.

This review previously appeared in The Reader of Omaha, Nebraska.

46 September 29, 2016

Boulder Weekly

screen Numerically accurate There are seven people in ‘The Magnificent Seven ’

by Ryan Syrek

A

mong the last words of 1960s The Magnificent Seven is this Nietzschian fortune cookie quote: “We lost. We’ll always lose.” At the end of 2016’s The Magnificent Seven, a cloying voiceover delivered atop jangly, optimistic music (overlaying a literal “riding off into the sunset”) plainly states that all involved were heroes, whose actions were truly “magnificent.” Like a game of telephone played with tin cans used for six-shooter target practice, somewhere along the evolution — or devolution, depending on your feelings — of Akira Kurosawa’s Seven Samurai to John Sturges’s The Magnificent Seven to Antoine Fuqua’s The Magnificent Seven, the core was lost. Almost all that’s left are horses, guns and casual racism.

The new Mag 7 also retained the simplistic plot: A bounty hunter, Chisolm (Denzel Washington), is convinced by a wide-eyed widow, Emma Cullen (Haley Bennett), to help defend her town against a guy you know is evil because he’s named Bartholomew (Peter Sarsgaard). Seriously, has anyone ever said “Thank God, we’re saved! Bartholomew is here!” Anyway, Chisolm awkwardly and really bizarrely rounds up six other salty fellas to help him kill just a tremendous amount of people and save the town of Podunk McNowhere.

Mag 7 is one of those movies where every character can be described with A bounty hunter is convinced by a wide-eyed widow to help defend her town against bad guys. He recruits a small crew of very few words. We shallow characters. Violence predictably ensues. have Josh Faraday (Chris Pratt), the charming rogue; Goodnight Robicheaux (Ethan Hawke), the befallen war hero; Jack Horne (Vicent D’Onofrio), the mountain man and three men reduced to their ethnicity: Billy Rocks (Byung-hun Lee), the nebulous Asian; Vasquez (Manuel GarciaRulfo), dubbed “the Mexican” and Red Harvest (Martin Sensmeier), the “good” Native American (in contrast to the Western’s obligatory “bad” Native American).

It’s distressing that it has taken this long to address what is one of the all-time insane acting choices. D’Onofrio’s grizzled frontiersman is given a voice that sounds like an out-of-breath Southern belle or deviantly sexual prank phone caller. If there’s a just God, we will never find out if this was intentionally hilarious or a sincere choice

by D’Onofrio, who increasingly resembles a sentient bearskin rug. As for the others, Washington is Washington, Pratt is Pratt, Hawke has too many sweaty close ups, and the remainder do what they can with characters whose bios would fit on a Post-It note with room left over for doodling.

Really, the true villain of the piece is its overly methodical pace. The best Westerns do coyly stall, building anticipation for the climax as fingers wiggle millimeters above holstered Colt .45s. Mag 7 wiggles its fingers for way, way too long. The final showdown is pretty great and substantial in length, but by the time it arrives, we’re more than ready for everyone to have holes in them. By jettisoning the nihilism that permeated its predecessors, Mag 7 basically reduced itself to a rote modern Western. That’s fine for the most part, so long as no one pairs this by-the-books crowd pleaser with either of its ancestors.

This review previously appeared in The Reader of Omaha, Nebraska.

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deep dish

BY CAITLIN ROCKETT Susan France

T

he night was a little cloudy and very windy. Rounding the corner of 11th and Walnut is the cozy Amante Coffee, with its Italian espresso machines, and then the distinct smell of herbs and butter hits the nostrils. Despite the chill, flowers are still in bloom on the patio of Brasserie Ten Ten this evening, and for a moment it’s easy to pretend that it’s springtime in Paris instead of fall in Boulder.

But I don’t waste a moment yearning to be in the City of Lights — though my memories of its streets are fond — because tonight is date night, and I’m about to eat one of my favorite dishes at the downtown French bistro with one of my favorite people.

Bouillabaisse is really just stew, but instead of beef and potatoes, it’s filled with hearty fish and... well, sometimes potatoes. Brasserie Ten Ten calls it “traditional Provençal seafood stew,” which is to say it originated in southern France, most specifically Marseille. While the dish may seem rather upscale in contemporary culture, history says it was created to give fisherman something to eat when they came into port; instead of making food with the expensive fish they could sell at the market, they would use rockfish and shellfish to create stew. (Granted, Greek mythology also says that Venus fed a type of bouillabaisse to Vulcan, so we could also

Julia would be pleased

to a boil (bolhir, part of the word bouillabaisse, means to boil in French; abaissar essentially means to simmer) In Marseille, the broth is served first in a soup plate with slices of bread covered in a mayonnaise-based sauced called rouille, and then the fish is served separately on a large platter.

At Brasserie Ten Ten, the bouillabaisse is served broth, fish and bread all together in one lovely dish. Across the top of the stew are two thick cut slices of baguette with a healthy spread of rich orange-yellow rouille (given its color from saffron). From beneath the bread poke out antennae of shrimp, surrounded by a perimeter of mussels.

Digging into the warm broth is a hearty white fish and beautiful chunks of tomatoes, still firm enough to chew when you take one in with a swallow of broth.

While I didn’t have bouillabaisse while I was in France, I don’t think this version of the dish would disappoint Julia (though she may have suggested, lovingly, that they serve the fish and the broth separately). What mattered most to Julia, it is said, is that the flavors of the broth showcased those specific herbs and vegetables, and that the fish be lean and firm and the shellfish gelatinous.

I think Julia would be pleased indeed.

Brasserie Ten Ten. 1011 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-998-1010.

Brasserie Ten Ten serves up a bouillabaisse that would impress the master chef say it’s a stew fit for a god. I enjoy the fact that it can exist as both a simple dish and an exquisite treat.)

As with any food with a long history, the broth of bouillabaisse is made numerous ways but traditionally includes potatoes, loads of garlic, onions, tomatoes and olive oil seasoned with a bouquet of garni (thyme, bay leaves and sage tied together), fennel, saffron, salt and Cayenne pepper. The fish includes shellfish and any kind of hearty fish ( Julia Child would insist it mustn’t be oily!) that can be found locally. In traditional bouillabaisse, the fish are added one at a time and brought

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September 29, 2016 49

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Susan France

nibbles

BY JOHN LEHNDORFF

Susan France

Steep terrain

Bad water, wrong temperatures and timing can make a good tea go bad

Susan France

It

takes a lot for me to give up on iced tea for the calendar year. I always rue that day because I know what it means. The sweaty season is over and the dark falls faster with each evening. The first morning frost on my 1-year-old mirasol pepper plant made me accept the fact that I was done downing quarts of brewed iced tea until spring 2017.

Strong coffee remains my go-to beverage to jump-start the day, but by afternoon it’s cold or hot tea time, a habit I picked up in college in Montreal where I used lots of tea bags, sugar and milk. I make a better cup now, but I admit that I don’t know all that much about tea. I called a tea expert.

My friend Brian Keating wrote the 2015 book How to Make Tea: The Science Behind the Leaf (The Ivy Press) with Kim Long. A Denver native, Keating is a nationally known tea consultant who created Sport Tea in the ’80s — a product still in supermarkets. He was the first tea blender hired by Whole Foods Market.

How to Make Tea talks about the hundreds of ways to make a pot of black, green and white camellia sinensis and tons of details about chemistry. Frankly, I don’t need that much information. I talked to Keating to find out how to make as good a cup of tea as possible without getting all compulsive about it. He offers a few basic rules.

see NIBBLES Page 52

Boulder Weekly

September 29, 2016 51

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NIBBLES from Page 51

Rule No. 1: “The worst thing tea drinkers do is use bad water. Most municipal water supplies are highly chlorinated and it ruins the taste and in some cases the nutritional aspects of tea. It’s the No. 1 offender,” Keating says. Use a home water filter or spring water. Don’t use distilled water because it lacks the minerals that bring tea flavor to life.

Rule No. 2: “Everyone tries to complicate it. Tea is just pouring boiling water over some leaves, but it has to be the right temperature. Boiling water works best for black tea and Susan France oolong varieties,” Keating says.

The exception to Rule No. 2 is green tea. “For green tea you bring the water to a boil and then let it cool down for three or four minutes. If you use too hot of water on green leaves, the tea turns bitter and acrid. The reason green tea isn’t more popular is that it’s prepared wrong,” he says.

Rule No. 3: Always warm the tea pot with boiling water. “The water has to stay hot enough in the pot to steep properly,” he says. It also helps to warm up the cup.

Rule No. 4: Don’t worry about weighing the tea leaves. The old rule of thumb was one rounded teaspoon of loose tea for each cup and one for the pot. “That old English rule still works.,” Keating says. “Weighing grams of tea is for geeks.”

Rule No. 5: To make a pot, just put the leaves in the pot and strain or use a diffuser. “You want enough space around the leaves so the juices and polyphenols come out,” Keating says. You also have to get the steeping time right. “I tell people to experiment. Usually black or oolong for three to four minutes, green is less, only two to three minutes,” he says. White tea is the exception, needing five to six minutes. “The altitude doesn’t make that much difference. Some people steep it a little longer in the mountains,” Keating says. He admitted that his first pot of black tea on a foggy Seattle morning gets steeped a little longer to increase the caffeine see NIBBLES Page 54

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September 29, 2016 53

nibbles NIBBLES from Page 52

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Rule No. 6: Adding milk to tea was an effort to lessen the harshness of the “cheap, bad tea” that was first imported into England, Keating says. “I use a little soy or nut milk. There’s some research that shows that cow’s milk may reduce the antioxidant effect of tea,” he says, adding that you never add milk to oolong or green tea because it ruins the taste. Actually, I happen to like milk in my oolong.

Rule No. 7: Keating is not a fan of tea bags, but most of us use tea bags a lot of the time. “If you have to use tea bags, look for the pyramid-style tea bags that have more room for the water to circulate around the leaves,” he says. The same rules apply by the cup: Warm it up and use good water. “You can still make a very good cup of tea with a tea bag if you do it right,” he says.

Rule No. 8: “The Susan France bottom line is to keep tea away from heat, light, moisture and spices. Aromatics from spices will infuse in the tea,” Keating says.

I’ll let you know if I successfully upgrade my tea time.

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Local Food News

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Conor O’Neill’s bartendar Elie Bouchard

Conor O’Neill’s Traditional Irish Pub closes Sunday, Oct. 2 after 17 years of Guinness and the World’s Shortest St. Patrick’s Day Parades.

The previous tenant, the James Pub, had been open for 20 years.

Another downtown eatery, Caribou Coffee, has closed at 1207 Pearl St. Former occupants include Panera Bread, Paradise Bakery and Woody Creek Café, but for a generation of locals it will always be Potter’s. I spent a year at Potter’s one summer making onion rings in that kitchen. ... Beta carotene finally gets recognized at Carrot Day, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. at the Boulder County Farmers’ Market in Longmont. At the carrot sampling you will find out that all carrot varieties don’t taste alike.

Taste of the Week

I got reacquainted recently with one of the coolest condiments created in Boulder: Karami Japanese Salsa. This is not some chef ’s misguided attempt at cross-cultural fusion food. For years in Colorado, immigrant farmers from Japan have substituted roasted Pueblo chilies for the unavailable seaweed in a traditional relish used on steamed rice. Karami is a true wonder condiment that’s spicy and sweet and salty and basically, a bottle full of vegan umami. Great on steamed grains and grilled fish, it is also perfect for chips, burritos and tamales. Karami is available at local supermarkets and exported to Japan.

Words to Chew On

“If you are cold, tea will warm you. If you are too heated, it will cool you. If you are depressed it will cheer you. If you are excited it will calm you.” — William Gladstone.

John Lehndorff hosts Radio Nibbles at 8:25 a.m. Thursdays on KGNU (88.5 FM, 1390 FM, kgnu.org). Read his food blog at: johnlehndorff.wordpress.com.

54 September 29, 2016

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Tour de brew: Avery Brewing Co.

Bringing the Old World to Boulder

by Michael J. Casey

D

ear parents of CU-Boulder students, ON TAP: Avery Welcome to our fine city. Nice, isn’t it?

Brewing Co. 4910 Nautilus Court, We here at Boulder Weekly understand that Boulder, 303-440-4324.

Parent’s Weekend can be a little overaverybrewing.com whelming for first timers — watch out, here comes another biker — but at least those Flatirons are lovely to look at while you try to figure out what in the world your kid has been doing with all that tuition money you forked over. Yes, there is plenty they’re not telling you. No, it’s not nearly as bad as you think it is.

Why not take a break from that silent enigma you call your child and enjoy a little me time at one of Boulder’s many fine craft beer establishments. May we suggest the Avery Brewing Company?

There are legions of craft breweries in Boulder, but Avery is the granddaddy that must be reckoned with. They opened their doors in 1993 and with workhorse standards like their India Pale Ale (6.5% ABV), Ellie’s Brown Ale (5.5%), Joe’s Pils (4.7%) and White Rascal (5.6%) — which won the Best Belgian-Style Witbier award at the Great American Beer Fest in 2015 — Avery has become a major player in the craft beer world.

But you probably know all of those beers, so embrace the adventure and grab a glass of El Gose (4.5%). Pronounced goze-uh, this German-style sour features sea salt and plenty of lime. Gose is old-world beer, dating back to 16th century Germany, but it went out of style for a spell. Those were the dark times and Avery is doing their part to bring back this delightfully tart beverage.

But Gose isn’t the only thing that Avery is bringing back in style. The Nestor’s Cup (4.9%) is a Mycenaean — ancient Greece circa 1650–1200 B.C. — inspired beer that is brewed with six-row barley, einkorn wheat, acorn flour, figs and elderberries. The Nestor’s Cup packs a wallop of fruit leather, is unlike anything that you’ll ever have and is absolutely delicious.

El Gose, Nestor’s Cup and Raspberry Sour (6.5%) — a barrel-aged sour with ripe red strawberries and lots of lactic acids — are complex, full-bodied beers with plenty of nuances. Drinking them, you might be tempted to analyze them the way you might a Burgundy or Côtes du Rhône, which is why you must dive into a glass of Terpsichore (10.1%). In Greek mythology, Terpsichore was the goddess of the dance and Avery has done right by her with a beer/wine hybrid. Made with Syrah grapes, wild yeast and aged in Cabernet Sauvignon barrels, Terpsichore is sweet, sour, tart, fizzy, lightly tannic and endlessly entertaining.

Terpsichore is why you come here; you won’t find it anywhere else. Same for Nestor’s Cup and several other offerings that are Avery taproom specialties and worth the trip. So leave that kid to their own devices and indulge yourself at Avery — the upstairs bar is quite nice. And if the silent treatment has driven you to your wit’s end, ask the bartenders all the questions you want. They’ll be happy to give you a straight answer.

Boulder Weekly

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Boulder Weekly

ARIES

MARCH 21-APRIL 19: What’s the difference between a

love warrior and a love worrier? Love warriors work diligently to keep enhancing their empathy, compassion and emotional intelligence. Love worriers fret so much about not getting the love they want that they neglect to develop their intimacy skills. Love warriors are always vigilant for how their own ignorance may be sabotaging togetherness, while love worriers dwell on how their partner’s ignorance is sabotaging togetherness. Love warriors stay focused on their relationship’s highest goals, while love worriers are preoccupied with every little relationship glitch. I bring this to your attention, Aries, because the next seven weeks will be an excellent time to become less of a love worrier and more of a love warrior.

TAURUS

APRIL 20-MAY 20: How will you deal with a provocative

opportunity to reinvent and reinvigorate your approach to work? My guess is that if you ignore this challenge, it will devolve into an obstruction. If you embrace it, on the other hand, you will be led to unforeseen improvements in the way you earn money and structure your daily routine. Here’s the paradox: Being open to seemingly impractical considerations will ultimately turn out to be quite practical.

GEMINI

MAY 21-JUNE 20: Is it possible that you’re on the verge of

reclaiming some of the innocent wisdom you had as a child?

Judging from the current astrological omens, I suspect it is. If all goes well, you will soon be gifted with a long glimpse of your true destiny — a close replica of the vision that bloomed in you at a tender age. And this will, in turn, enable you to actually see magic unicorns and play with mischievous fairies and eat clouds that dip down close to the earth. And not only that: Having a holy vision of your original self will make you even smarter than you already are. For example, you could get insights about how to express previously inexpressible parts of yourself. You might discover secrets about how to attract more of the love you have always felt deprived of.

CANCER

astrology

places and situations where LIBRA you feel safe and fragile and SEPT. 23-OCT. 22: timid. I want to know about Thank you for all the enterwhere you feel safe and tainment you’ve provided in strong and bold. Are there the past 12 months, Libra. sanctuaries that nurture Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Since shortly before your your audacious wisdom? Are Rob Brezsny’s EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO birthday in 2015, you have there natural sites that tease HOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE taken lively and gallant out your primal willpower HOROSCOPES. The audio horoscopes actions to rewrite history. and help you clarify your You have banished a pesky are also available by phone at goals? Go to those power demon and repaired a hole 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700. spots. Allow them to exalt in your soul. You’ve eduyou with their transformacated the most immature tive blessings. Pray and sing part of yourself and nurtured the most neglected part of yourand dance there. And maybe find a new oasis to excite and self. To my joyful shock, you have even worked to transform a incite you, as well. Your creative savvy will bloom in November dysfunctional romantic habit that in previous years had subtly if you nurture yourself now with this magic. undermined your ability to get the kind of intimacy you seek.

What’s next? Here’s my guess: an unprecedented exemption LEO from the demands of the past.

JULY 23-AUG. 22: One of your old reliable formulas may temporarily be useless or even deceptive. An ally could SCORPIO be withholding an important detail from you. Your favorite OCT. 23-NOV. 21: Are you able to expand while you are psychological crutch is in disrepair, and your go-to excuse contracting, and vice versa? Can you shed mediocre comforts is no longer viable. And yet I think you’re going to be just and also open your imagination to gifts that await you at the fine, Leo. Plan B will probably work better than Plan A. frontier? Is it possible to be skeptical toward ideas that shrink Secondary sources and substitutes should provide you with your world and people who waste your time, even as you cultiall the leverage you need. And I bet you will finally capitalvate optimism and innocence about the interesting challenges ize on an advantage that you have previously neglected. For ahead of you? Here’s what I think, Scorpio: Yes, you can. At best results, be vigilant for unexpected help. least for right now, you are more flexible and multifaceted than you might imagine.

VIRGO

AUG. 23-SEPT. 22: Attention! Warning! One of your

signature fears is losing its chokehold on your imagination. If this trend continues, its power to scare you may diminish more than 70 percent by November 1. And then what will you do?

How can you continue to plug away at your goals if you don’t have worry and angst and dread to motivate you? I suppose you could shop around for a replacement fear — a new prod to keep you on the true and righteous path. But you might also want to consider an alternative: the possibility of drawing more of the energy you need by feeding your lust for life.

JUNE 21-JULY 22: I’m not asking you to tell me about the

SAGITTARIUS

NOV. 22-DEC. 21: You Sagittarians are famous for filling your cups so full they’re in danger of spilling over. Sometimes the rest of us find this kind of cute. On other occasions, we don’t enjoy getting wine splashed on our shoes. But I suspect that in the coming weeks, the consequences of your tendency to overflow will be mostly benign — perhaps even downright beneficial. So I suggest you experiment with the pleasures of surging and gushing. Have fun as you escape your niches and transcend your containers. Give yourself permission to seek adventures that might be too extravagant for polite company.

Now here’s a helpful reminder from your fellow Sagittarian, poet Emily Dickinson: “You cannot fold a flood and put it in a drawer.”

CAPRICORN

DEC. 22-JAN. 19: I believe that during the coming weeks

you will have an extra amount of freedom from fate. The daily grind won’t be able to grind you down. The influences that typically tend to sap your joie de vivre will leave you in peace.

Are you ready to take full advantage of this special dispensation? Please say, “YES, YES, A THOUSAND TIMES YES.” Be alert for opportunities to rise above the lowest common denominators. Be aggressive about rejecting the trivial questions that trap everyone in low expectations. Here are my predictions: Your willpower will consistently trump your conditioning. You won’t have to play by the old rules, but will instead have extra sovereignty to invent the future.

AQUARIUS

JAN. 20-FEB. 18: According to my analysis of the astro-

logical omens, you can expect an unlikely coincidence or two in the coming days. You should also be alert for helpfully prophetic dreams, clear telepathic messages and pokes from tricky informers. In fact, I suspect that useful hints and clues will be swirling in extra abundance, sometimes in the form of direct communications from reliable sources, but on occasion as mysterious signals from strange angels.

PISCES

FEB. 19-MARCH 20: You know that inner work you’ve

been doing with such diligence? I’m referring to those psychospiritual transformations you have been attending to in the dark ... the challenging but oddly gratifying negotiations you’ve been carrying on with your secret self ... the steady, strong future you’ve been struggling to forge out of the chaos?

Well, I foresee you making a big breakthrough in the coming weeks. The progress you’ve been earning, which up until now has been mostly invisible to others, will finally be seen and appreciated. The vows you uttered so long ago will, at last, yield at least some of the tangible results you’ve pined for.

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September 29 , 2016 61

Dear Dan: My boyfriend of five years is a sweet, smart, handsome, loving, supportive, middle-aged, chubby white guy. We have a fulfilling sex life. When we first met, he shared a fantasy he had about watching me get fucked by a black guy. (He knows it’s not something I’m interested in IRL.) I’ve caught him several times posing online as a young, buff, handsome black guy looking for a “snowbunny.” I call him out on it every time, and it causes huge fights. He says he’ll stop, but he never does. Weighed against all his other good qualities, this isn’t that big of a deal. Clearly he’s not going to meet up with the women he’s chatting with. What makes me sad is that I adore him as he is — I love his big white belly, his bald head and his rosy cheeks. I think I do a good job of communicating this to him. I guess I’m writing to you for some reassurance that I’m doing the right thing by letting this behavior go and also for some insight into why he’s doing it in the first place.

— Upset Girlfriend Hates Eroticized Racial Secrets Dear UGHERS: If this isn’t that big of a deal, UGHERS, why are you calling him out on it? Why are you monitoring his online activities/fantasies at all?

Boulder Weekly

SAVAGE

by Dan Savage

What your boyfriend is doing sounds relatively harmless — he’s pretending to be someone he’s not while flirting with other people online who are most likely pretending to be someone they’re not. (I promise you most of the “snowbunnies” he’s chatted with were other men.) The world is full of people who enjoy pretending to be someone they’re not, from cosplayers pretending to be Captain America or Poison Ivy to creative anachronists pretending to be knights and ladies to Donald Trump Jr. pretending to be a human being.

We can’t gloss over the racial/racist cultural forces that shaped your boyfriend’s kinks, of course, but it’s possible to explore those kinds of fantasies online or IRL without being a racist piece of shit. And a person can pretend to be someone of another race online — because it turns them on — without injecting racial hate into online spaces and/or thoughtlessly reinforcing damaging stereotypes about people of other races. You’ve seen your boyfriend’s online chats, UGHERS, so you’re in a better

Love

position to judge whether he’s exploring his fantasies without making the world a worse place than it already is for actual black men.

If he’s being a racist piece of shit online, UGHERS, call him out on that.

If he isn’t, stop policing his fantasies.

Dear Dan: I am a 36-year-old Italian straight man. I love my girlfriend endlessly.

One month ago, she told me she has thoughts about missing out on the things she didn’t get to do in her teens. She is 29 years old now. Also, she says she feels only a mild love for me now and is curious about other men. Yesterday we met and cried and talked and made love, and it felt like she still loves me passionately. But she also told me she had sex with a stranger a week ago, and she is going for one and a half months to Los Angeles on her own.

Now I feel confused. I should hate her for what she did to me, I should tell her to fuck off, but I can’t do it. I am so in love and I want to be together again after her trip. How do I exit this turmoil?

— Pensive And Insecure Now

Dear PAIN: You exit this turmoil by breaking up with your girlfriend.

She wants to get out there and do “things she didn’t get to do in her teens,” i.e., fuck other guys and most likely date other guys. This isn’t what you want, PAIN, you’ve made that clear to her, but she’s gonna fuck other guys anyway. You don’t have to pretend to hate her, PAIN, and you don’t have to tell her to fuck off.

But you do have to tell her that it’s over — at least for now.

And once she goes, PAIN, don’t lie around tormenting yourself with mental images of all the things/men she’s doing in Los Angeles. Don’t put your life on hold — love life included — while she’s gone. You’re going to be single. So get out there, date other women, do some things/women you haven’t done. If she wants to get back together when she returns, and if you still want to get back together with her, you can pick things up where you left off.

But you should act like it’s over while she’s gone, PAIN, because it most likely is.

Send questions to mail@savagelove.net and follow @fakedansavage on Twitter.

September 29, 2016 63

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Wholesale cannabis price drops 40 percent

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ccording to Tradiv, a cannabis trading platform based in Boulder, wholesale cannabis prices have fallen from approximately $2,500 per pound in October of 2015 to around $1,500 per pound in August of this

year.

In the beginning of Colorado’s legal market, companies didn’t know what Wikimedia Commons/Martin Abegglen to expect in terms of demand or supply but one things was for sure, it was growing quickly. The price point was high, in part a reflection of the novelty of legal cannabis and pent up demand.

Now almost three years old, the market is beginning to stabilize, but consumers should expect a few more tremors as the foundation of the market shifts and settles into place.

“The problem was that that growth was not projectable nor was it understood,” says Mike Bologna of Green Lion Partners, a strategic development firm for the cannabis industry.

“Nearly three years later, the state is still experiencing growth — the last three months are the highest retail sales on record to date — but the rate of growth is beginning to slow, but as it does it also becomes more predictable.”

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growth in the market by removing the state level requirement for cannabis businesses to be vertically integrated.

In October of 2014, for the first time since legalization, retail businesses could be separately owned from their cultivator counterparts, not only lowering barriers to entry for prospective industry players, but opening the door for cannabis to be traded more like other agricultural commodities.

Change was not immediate — it took awhile for new cultivators to come online as they awaited licensure and acquired the property and equipment to launch their grow operations. Once they started, it took approximately 20 weeks for the product to be ready for market. It wasn’t until 2016 that these new growers entered the market and started ramping up to full production.

Suddenly, with so many cultivators coming online all at once, there was a surplus of high quality cannabis available on the market, for the first time outstripping the recently stabilized growth of retail cannabis consumers.

For many wholesale cultivation facilities built on the $2,000/lbs. price point, the 40 percent drop is as dangerous as it is severe.

“What is going to happen — and it is already starting — is that some cultivators are going out of business and that will continue until such a time that

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supply comes back into equilibrium,” says Andy Williams, CEO of Medicine Man, a vertically integrated cannabis cultivator and retailer in Denver.

Williams suspects that this will have a chain reaction that ripples through various segments of the industry. Soon, production and prices will return to pre-surplus levels. Retailers that depend on wholesale product will see their costs creep back up and might be undersold by vertically integrated retailers that can produce their flower at a lower cost than the wholesale market. Williams believes that there will be consolidation on the retail side, too.

Taking this long-term view, Colorado’s cannabis industry will inevitably become an oligopoly. Those that survive the pricing fluctuations will in large part be vertically integrated businesses, putting the bigger players in a position to assume greater market share through consolidation.

Such theories are not new for insider strategists in the cannabis industry who have long predicted the market will eventually become concentrated with a few big players able to take market share by cutting expenses and ultimately retail prices.

“Cultivators need to realize that at its base cannabis is an agricultural product,” Bologna says. “Over the course of the next few years, cannabis will be looked at like soybeans and cotton and corn — commodities that need to be controlled and produced efficiently in order to have a predictable market.”

For now, the drop in wholesale price is not making a big impact on consumer prices, which are holding steady at around $16 per gram. But Williams says consumers will likely see more frequent sales on top shelf flower, especially if they shop at larger retailers.

“As these prices drop, retailers are competing more and more with the black market, so this price drop has an interesting market expansion aspect to it, too,” Bologna says. “As consumer interest in going to the black market wanes, that market will fall off, which is a direct benefit to society and a major goal of legalization to begin with.”

This opinion column does not necessarily reflect the views of Boulder Weekly.

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Pot legalization: Good news from California

A

nother marijuana legalization poll is out, and this one is very good news indeed.

On Sept. 26, California’s highly respected Field Research Corporation, which has been polling on California issues for decades, released a poll on the prospects of Proposition 64, the state’s marijuana legalization initiative. It found likely voters favored the initiative by 2-to-1.

That’s good news, but the news gets even better the deeper one digs into the poll: · The initiative was favored by a 60 percent to a 31 percent margin with only 9 percent undecided. The low number of undecideds means that public opinion on legalization is beginning to solidify and is less likely to be swayed by a lastminute media blitz by the initiative’s opponents. · The 60 percent level of support is the highest percentage of support for legalization that the Field poll found in the nearly 50 years it has been tracking California opinion on marijuana legalization. In 1969, the first year Field polled on the question, support for legalization was just 13 percent. · Field reported that support for Proposition 64 “is broad-based and now includes majorities across nearly all major subgroups of the likely voter population.” · The only major voter segments currently opposed to the initiative are Republicans and conservatives. But even here the poll’s findings were good news for the pro-legalization camp. Forty percent of Republicans said they favored Proposition 64, which constitutes a noticeable

spike in Republican support for legalization.

Usually GOP support for legalization in both state and national polls is mired in the low to mid-30s.

(Seventy percent of Democrats and 65 percent of independents favored legalization, no surprises there.) · Identical numbers of men and women, 60 percent in each case, favored legalization. That is very good news for the pro-legalization side, because in the past there has been a gender gap on the legalization issue in California, with men in favor, and women less in favor or opposed. In 2010 a legalization initiative failed in the state by a 46.5 percent to 53.5 percent margin, with women providing the “no” votes that tipped the balance. · The poll found that legalization was supported by every age group in the state, including Californians 65 or older, 52 percent of whom were in favor. One of the most intractable findings in marijuana polling has been the opposition to legalization among the voters aged 65 and older.

The fact that 52 percent of Californians over 65 are on board probably represents the fact that the demographic is increasingly dominated by graying baby boomers. · Marijuana polling usually finds the highest level of support among the 18 to 29 age group. Not this time in California. Although 60 percent of 18 to 29 year olds supported legalization, the highest level of support was found among the 40 to 49 year-old cohort (69 percent support) and among 30 to 39 year olds (66 percent support). This is good news for Prop. 64 supporters, because 30 to 50 year olds are more likely to vote than voters aged 18 to 29.

There were a couple of interesting surprises in the poll as well. Most people think northern California is where the stoners are. But the Field poll found the geographical area with the largest support for legalization was Los Angeles County, with 71 percent support. The comparable figure for the San Francisco Bay Area was 61 percent.

The more formal education a Californian has, the more likely he or she is to be in favor of Prop.

64. Sixty-six percent of those with a college degree and 67 percent of those with post-graduate work favored the initiative. Among those whose formal education ended with high school or less, support was only 48 percent.

Does this mean passage of Proposition 64 is a done deal in California? Of course not. The dumbest thing you can do in an election is to assume the outcome has been decided before the votes are cast.

But with the strength of these sort of polling results so close to the start of voting, it is fair to say that the battle for marijuana legalization in California is the supporters’ to lose.

(By coincidence, the California initiative was assigned the same ballot number, 64, as Colorado’s 2012 legalization initiative, Amendment 64.)

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CUT IT OUT, DISNEY

Once upon a time, Walt Disney Studios was a dream factory for little kids, producing classic films and cartoons filled with magic and imagination. Then one day they decided, screw it, let’s harvest all our old cartoons and just turn them into live action films. Hooray!

Hence comes Walt Disney Studio’s announcement earlier this week that they were working on a remake of the 1994 classic The Lion King.

Sigh.

Wikimedia Commons/ NASA This film comes off the heels of this summer’s star-studded, live action The Jungle Book, which had a budget of $175 million and went on to make more than five times that amount with $965.8 million at the box office. We’re not 100 percent sure how that happened, since the trailer was just a montage of celebrities as creepy, computer-generated animals (Christopher Walken as a giant gorilla? That’s the stuff of nightmares).

But basically Disney is just printing money without trying (i.e., any big corporation’s business goal). And they have plenty more money to look forward to with plans for a live action Beauty and the Beast, Little Mermaid and completely unnecessary sequel to The Jungle Book. (Great, more Christopher Walken gorilla nightmares.)

The only silver lining to be gleaned is that hopefully Disney will make a liveaction Mickey Mouse movie. We’ll be taking bets on which will be the most terrifying cartoon character come to life. We’re thinking it’ll be a three-way tie between Mickey, Donald Duck and Goofy. No matter the winner, it’ll surely be a hit.

TIME TO HERD CATS

Have you ever seen a cat being walked down the sidewalk on the street and thought, “Well, that’s ridiculous”? Or have you ever seen a stray cat wondering in the alley and thought, “Well, that cat should be on a leash”?

If the first scenario is more your style, then stop thinking about moving to Kenai, Alaska. If the second scenario rings true for you, consider moving to...

Kenai, Alaska.

Due to increasing resident complaints about free roaming cats, Kenai City Councilmembers are considering expanding the local animal-restraint ordinance to include feline pets. If it passes, the ordinance will require all Kenai dwellers to “restrain” their cats by means of leash, fence or building. Nevermind the age-old adage, “it’s like herding cats.”

Wikimedia Commons There’s a reason that expression means an impossible task. We can see it now. Not only will cats in Kenai still be roaming free, the non-cat owning citizens will start complaining about the plethora of humans running through neighborhoods, back alleys and streets with leashes in their hands, tearing out their hair trying to catch their feline friends before being slapped with an ridiculous fine.

And to think, we were just talking in the Boulder Weekly office about how much cheaper cats are to care for. They are independent, can let themselves outside, don’t need to be walked, hardly get into any mischief. Here goes that theory. Maybe we should go into the cat accessory business, creating a new line of cat “restraints” that are both cute and meet the utmost requirements of the law.

Boulder Weekly

September 29, 2016 69

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