screen Oh well Friday February 17
Sammy adamS
w/ CriS Cab, Prinz SPadez, dallaS GarCia, maze & Pat iCe
Saturday February 18
Giant Panda Guerilla dub Squad
w/ na’an StoP & low PreSSure dub SyStem
Saturday February 25
HieroGlyPHiCS
(all oriGinal memberS) w/ wHiSky blanket, Sean anonymouS, old man Saxon & kruza kid
tHurSday marCH 2
blaCk tiGer Sex maCHine w/ dabin & kai waCHi
Friday marCH 3
every tHurSday @ tHe otHer Side
GraSS For tHat aSS Free beFore 8Pm & Free beFore 9Pm For all text meSSaGe SubSCriberS
text CervanteS to 91944 to SiGn uP 2/23: PiCkin’ on Sublime Feat 40oz to Freedom PerForminG tHe muSiC oF Sublime w/ old Salt union & tHat damn SaSquatCH 3/2: wHitewater ramble “tHe GraSS waltz” w/ PiCkin’ on PrinCe – wHen banJoS Cry
tHurSday February 16
tHe biG wu w/ Jill & tHe new Gruv & Jimi mittenS
Friday & Saturday February 17-18
PraanG
immortal teCHnique x evidenCe x SavinG bankSy (movie Premier)
Feat miCHael traviS & JaSon Hann (SCi & eoto), Steve kimoCk & Jamie Janover 2/17: toy box 2/18: FunkStatik
Saturday marCH 4
monday niGHt menaGerie
w/ tramPa & SkiSm
Feat ProJeCt 432, GladyS, kaleid & wHat’S 4 dinner
w/ reaSon tHe Citizen
trollPHaCe tueSday marCH 7
monday February 20
uGly God x neSSly
wedneSday February 22
wedneSday marCH 8
Feat SuPerviSion, unlimited Gravity, tHe Party PeoPle & Jubee
tHurSday marCH 9
tHe bordaS brotHerS bday baSH
w/ tony neek$
reCeSS, Cobrayama & tHe orCaStrator tHe lox
Feat JadakiSS, StyPleS P & SHeek louCHe w/ unCle murda & youtH’n’azia
Friday & Saturday marCH 10-11
tHe new maSterSoundS w/ new orleanS SuSPeCtS
wedneSday marCH 15
CHronixx
Feat SPeCial GueSt keliSSa w/ JaH9 & max Glazer (Federation Sound)
tHurSday marCH 16
younG buCk
Friday & Saturday marCH 17-18 dual venue!
tHe werk out weSt muSiC & artS FeStival
3/17: mark Farina, GolF ClaP, Grim & darlinG, telemetry, dJ ruSSo & SPinrad 3/18: PoolSide, tHe Party PeoPle, Cure For tHe Common, SHuJ roSwell & Flux CaPaCitor
Friday marCH 24
tHe drunken Hearted mediCine SHow
Feat tHe viCtor wooten trio (Feat denniS CHamberS & bob FranCHeSHini) w/ tHe band oF HeatHenS, tHe drew emmit & andy tHorn duo, tHe drunken HeartS, brad ParSonS band & Coral Creek
Saturday marCH 25
tHe danCe Party time maCHine
Feat marC brownStein, aron maGner, allen auCoin (diSCo biSCuitS), tom Hamilton (Jrad), mike GreenField (lotuS) w/ memberS oF yamn, Fox Street, tiGer Party, analoG Son & kinetix
Friday marCH 31
marCo benevento Friday aPril 14
re: SearCH Friday February 24
Feat oPtion4, Jamie SCHwabi, aaron JaCobS, tnertle, Staxx & SPaCedata
Saturday February 25
tHe HolduP & kataStro Sunday February 26
winter breakdown Feat denver’S beSt unSiGned talent
monday February 27
monday niGHt menaGerie Feat dreamwalker, kataPHaSiS, GanGSteriSH, moon Cube, aPHonix, tHe boundleSS, turbulent turtle, O.B.E. & Dr
Friday marCH 3
CyCleS & tHe Jauntee w/ oFFSteady
wedneSday marCH 8
re: SearCH FEat FlaMingOSiS, Daily BrEaD, MilKy. wav, mikey tHunder & Jubee
tHurSday marCH 9
Jeremy Garrett & andy FalCo (inFamouS StrinGduSterS)
& danny barneS w/ CluSterPluCk
Friday marCH 10
Great ameriCan taxi w/ CHiCaGo Farmer
wedneSday marCH 22
re: SearCH Feat deFunk, Fort knox Five, FunkStatik, tHe Party PeoPle & Jubee
miCkey avalon & dirt naSty
tHurSday marCH 23
Saturday aPril 15
Saturday marCH 25
w/ FlavortootH & Joon buG
tHe GrateFul ball
Feat tHe travelin’ mCCouryS w/ drew emmitt, andy tHorn, GreG GarriSon (leFtover Salmon) & adam aiJala (yonder mountain StrinG band)
wedneSday aPril 19 @ red roCkS
420 eve on tHe roCkS
Feat metHod man & redman, FlatbuSH zombieS w/ Curren$y, FuturiStiC & rdGldGrn
tHat 1 Guy FatHer Son orCHeStra Feat rob barraCo & rob eaton (PHil & FriendS/dark Star orCHeStra), robin SylveSter (ratdoG), rob eaton Jr & tHomaS barraCo w/ tHe trevor JoneS band
Friday aPril 7
Con brio text CervanteS to 91944 For tiCket GiveawayS, drink SPeCialS, diSCounted tiCket PromotionS & more
‘Rings’ can die in a hole by Ryan Syrek
W
ith the Trump administration playing a nonstop game of “hide and go seek your civil rights,” scary movies have to try harder to achieve even the same basic level of terror as a casual scroll through Twitter. Sadly, Rings doesn’t try. Like, at all. A disjointed retread of the The Ring co-written by the mastermind behind Batman & Robin, this half sequel/half remake is all kinds of stupid and boring. The cleverest thing it does is name its tiny-nippled, brotastic, generic white male lead “Holt.” Odds are that somewhere in the South, there’s probably a whole fraternity in which every single dude is named Holt. These are the sort of thoughts you have time to think while waiting for Rings to end. The female lead is a nondescript, personality-free, human-shaped creature named Julia, played by Matilda Anna This lifeless retread could have been Ingrid Lutz. It’s important to know that great if it used the concept of a viral video to update the “watch it Lutz is an Italian actress, because not and die” premise of the video from knowing that means you spend the whole the original film. Instead, the movie is content to bore, showing more of Rings trying to decide if she has an sex dungeons and wasting a accent or if you’ve become so bored that all creepy potential killer cameo. words suddenly sound strange when people say them out loud. Holt (Alex Roe) presumably takes time off from flexing in the mirror and posting his thoughts about feminism in online comments sections to go to college, where his professor is the guy from The Big Bang Theory ( Johnny Galecki). He’s probably not playing the same character as in the CBS sitcom, but it’s far more entertaining to believe he is. The Big Bang oaf shows some students the video of Samara, the emo water ghost who lives in a well and crawls out of electronic screens seven days after you watch the French student film she made. You may remember that they already wrapped up her story in a previous movie, but you may also remember lots of things while watching Rings. Things like how it felt to be alive or what being entertained felt like. Julia and Holt, who seems destined to sexually disappoint women and hold political office, soon find themselves in a small town trying to escape what feels like a particularly bad episode of the CW’s Supernatural. A revisiting of The Ring actually made some measure of sense in an era of viral videos. A bit of creativity could have crafted a kitschy metaphor about the toxic danger of our ignorant media consumption, some kind of spooky meditation on our unwillingness to think before we consume. But nah, this is a movie that just wants to chain more women inside sex dungeon basements. The horror genre may not technically glamorize the practice of torturing ladies, but its incessant, uninspired, gross use of the trope sure does desensitize it. So, basically, everything sucks. The end. With everyone pissed off and profoundly fatigued about the state of affairs in America, our entertainment should, at worst, be a much-needed distraction and, at best, serve as an educational and empathetic experience. Rings is neither: It’s a dank turd floating at the bottom of a well. This review previously appeared in The Reader of Omaha, Nebraska.
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38 February 16, 2017
Boulder Weekly