12 9 10 boulder weekly

Boulder County â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Tr ue Independent Voice <Free> <www.boulder weekly.com> December 9 - 15, 2010

Skunky Money

Why wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t banks treat dispensaries like other businesses?

by Jefferson Dodge

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contents boulderweekly.com

news & views

Marriage 2.0 / 6 How gay marriage would be a victory for straight women, too

by Pamela White Finding Loko locally? Good luck / 10 FDA ruling on alcoholic energy drink could affect entire industry

by Mitchell Byars On the cover: Skunky money / 14 Why won’t banks treat dispensaries like other businesses?

by Jefferson Dodge Smokin’ bowls / 16 Lafayette’s new skatepark proves the ’burbs are leading the pack

by Oakland L. Childers

buzz Mark Vann benefit celebrates eight years of charity / 21 Todd Snider, Great American Taxi top this year's bill

by David Accomazzo Overtones: A cappella group Face changes it up for the holidays / 24 Overtones: Phil Vassar steps outside the box / 25 Arts & Culture: Lisa Siciliano rocks the lens / 27 Panorama: What to do and where to go / 29 Sophisticated Sex: Name your penis / 39 Elevation: Get in step with snowshoeing / 41 Cuisine: Kitchen gifts: little things that do a lot / 45 Cuisine Review: Lefty’s Gourmet Pizza and Ice Cream / 47 Screen: Burlesque; Love & Other Drugs / 52 Reel 2 Reel: Pick your flick / 53

departments

Letters: Prez too big a job for one person; Spank GOP brats / 5 The Highroad: Move your money / 5 In Case You Missed It: Tit for tat; Puffer season / 11 Boulderganic: Driven to drive less / 17 Classifieds: Your community resource / 56 Puzzles: Crossword and sudoku / 59 Free Will Astrology: by Rob Brezsny / 61

staff

Publisher, Stewart Sallo Editor, Pamela White Director of Sales & Marketing, Dave Grimsland Director of Operations/Controller, Benecia Beyer Circulation Manager, Cal Winn Editorial Managing Editor, Jefferson Dodge Arts & Entertainment Editor, David Accomazzo Special Editions/Calendar Editor, Katherine Creel Online Editor, Quibian Salazar-Moreno Editorial Interns, Eli BooninVail, Mitchell Byars Contributing Writers, Peter Alexander, Ana Arias, Rob Brezsny, Chris Callaway, Oakland L. Childers, Ben Corbett, Paul Danish, James Dziezynski, Clay Fong, Charmaine Ortega Getz, Jim Hightower, Gene Ira Katz, Dave Kirby, Heather May Koski, Elizabeth Miller, P.J. Nutting, Brian Palmer, Adam Perry, Danette Randall, Alan Sculley, Isaac Woods Stokes, Marisa Aragón Ware, Tom Winter, Gary Zeidner Sales Retail Sales Manager, Allen Carmichael Inside Sales Manager, David Hasson Account Executives, Rich Blitz, Mike Cutler, Sammi Orlando Production Production Manager, Dave Kirby Art Director, Susan France Graphic Designer, Mark Goodman General & Administrative Assistant to the Publisher & Heiress, Julia Sallo Office Manager/Advertising Assistant, Shey Behbahani Circulation Team Halka Brunerova, Dave Hastie, Dan Hill, Alan Jones, George LaRoe Jeffrey Lohrius, Elizabeth Ouslie, Lowell Schaefer, Karl Schleinig 10-Year-Old, Mia Rose Sallo December 9, 2010 Volume XVIII, Number 18 As Boulder County's only independently owned newspaper, Boulder Weekly is dedicated to illuminating truth, advancing justice and protecting the First Amendment through ethical, no-holds-barred journalism and thought-provoking opinion writing. Free every Thursday since 1993, the Weekly also offers the county's most comprehensive arts and entertainment coverage. Read the print version, or visit www.boulderweekly.com. Boulder Weekly does not accept unsolicited editorial submissions. If you're interested in writing for the paper, please send queries to: editorial@boulderweekly.com. Any materials sent to Boulder Weekly become the property of the newspaper.

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Boulder Weekly is published every Thursday. No portion may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher. © 2010 Boulder Weekly, Inc., all rights reserved.

Boulder Weekly

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letters boulderweekly.com/letters

Prez too big a job for one person Thank you Paul Danish and Boulder Weekly for yet another controversial and thought-provoking editorial (“Is Sarah Palin smart enough to be president?” Danish Plan, Dec. 2).

To me however, the most important issue here isn’t the rising tide of cheeky American mediocrity perfectly personified by Palin. And the debate about whether a college degree has aided presidents of the past is, to me, irrelevant; this is just part of the perennial class warfare debate, which always seems to pit expensive academic theory for the elites against real-life experience for the commoners. Both are needed.

What is enormously relevant is that especially within the context of the current Web 3.0 geopolitical flux, we recognize that being the president of the United States is truly the most difficult job on the planet and clearly requires more than a modicum of “smarts.” I would like to support Danish’s populist encouragement that we are all “smart enough to be president,” and could simply manage our government by following the tenets of the Constitution, but I have to raise a few points first.

The office has become so elevated, and the demands so vast in scope, that I wouldn’t be surprised if we in fact split the position into a triumvirate or council of five by the time I am Danish’s age. I’m not kidding.

Newsweek’s Nov. 22 cover summed it up quite well when President Obama

D

was cartooned as “God of All Things,” as a six-armed juggling Shiva, while the magazine quipped that the modern presidency might be too much for one person to handle. Seriously, we expect one person to not only defend the Constitution of the United States and

serve as commander-in-chief of our military, but also to protect our country from becoming the most enormous corrupt financial fiefdom in history, constantly delegate said tasks across an antiquated bureaucratic system, make us look good internationally and battle

The Highroad

o you love your megabank?

I’m talking about your local branch of CitiChaseWellsMorganofAmerica — or some similar financial conglomeration. As you might have learned from experience, they have thousands of bankers who specialize in finding innovative, new ways to gouge consumers worldwide.

From rip-off fees to refusing to refinance home loans, the friendly slogan of these giants is: “We don’t care.

We’re too big to fail!”

Unfortunately, Washington is too cowed by Wall Street money to cut these arrogant and avaricious giants down to size, but — guess what? — you and I can do it. We can make them smaller, one deposit at a time, by simply moving our money out of their clutches. After all, it is our money!

You can join the thousands of Americans who

boulderweekly.com/highroad

the wing-nuts to ensure we can all get plenty of birth control, valium and other basic necessities whenever we want? The situation is absurd.

To answer your question, I don’t see LETTERS Page 6

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JimHightower.com For more information on Jim Hightower’s work — and to subscribe to his award-winning monthly newsletter, The Hightower Lowdown — visit www.jimhightower.com.

Move your money

Boulder Weekly

by Jim Hightower are walking away from the don’t-give-a-damn financial fortresses and switching their accounts to community banks, credit unions, socially responsible investment firms and other banking entities eager to treat you like a valued customer.

A recent survey found that the biggest banking conglomerates — such as J.P. Morgan Chase, Citigroup and Bank of America — have sunk to

their lowest consumer satisfaction level in years. Sixty-six percent of customers say they’d consider taking their money out of those grasping empires.

Appealing alternatives exist all across America. At credit unions, for example, late fees and overdraft fees average only half of what the big chain banks charge, and credit unions offer loans with interest rates that are 20 percent lower than those assessed by the giants.

Why put up with megabank megalomania? Here are two websites to help you find a local bank that gives a damn about you and your community: www. findacreditunion.com and www.moveyourmoney. info/find-a-bank.

December 9, 2010 5

LETTERS from Page 5

have what it takes to be president under these circumstances. I suspect few do. Fortunately though, there’s an army of us working behind the scenes in our respective spheres to transform American leadership as we come of age in this unique era of increased volatility and reduced opportunity.

Danice Crawford/via Internet Spank GOP brats The debate on politics as of late has been centered on the phrase “adult conversation,” primarily from our Republican lawmakers, e.g., “If we can have an adult conservation” about tax cuts, the economy, the START treaties, about this, about that, etc.

Yet, as we witnessed last Friday, Sen. Mitch McConnell and his merry band of lock-step brethren have adhered to the exact same strategy they have embraced since President Obama took his oath of office and which has resulted in his party being branded, quite deservedly, as the “Party of No.” They even put it in writing this time.

Now, anyone who has raised children know that the favorite word of 2-year-olds is ... “no.” Their second favorite word is “why?”

I believe the Democratic Party needs to answer Republicans in a language they understand.

The answer to their first demand is: “Yes, we can.”

The answer to the second is: “Because we’re the grown-ups, and we said so, that’s why.”

If they continue in their whining, put ’em in time-out or spank ’em — or both if necessary, until they decide to play nice.

The lame duck needn’t be so lame.

Besides, what do Democrats have to lose? The “respect” of 2-year-olds?

Sen. McConnell has shown quite clearly that he and his pals have no respect for President Obama. Their response to Democratic proposals for tax cuts for all Americans was “Chickencr@p”! Real “adult conservation” there.

I vote for “spank ’em.”

Tommy Holeman/Longmont Standing against racism I am a season-ticket holder and longtime supporter of the CU women’s basketball team, so when the University of Illinois “Fighting Illini” came, I was at the game as always. I have also been engaged in a fight against the racist depiction of the “Illini” mascot for more than 20 years, so I felt it important to make a statement.

I had a simple sign: “Our mascot is mighty; yours is racist.” Early in the first half, a policeman, acting on behalf 6 December 9, 2010

of the athletic department, came over and threatened me with arrest if I didn’t surrender the sign. I agreed and then went to the box office to ask for a refund of my ticket. The athletic department refused.

In 2006, the Executive Committee of the NCAA announced that it would prevent teams with racist mascots — explicitly including the University of Illinois — from participating in postseason play. On Nov. 19, 2010, the Chicago Sun-Times described how pro-Chief forces are trying to make a comeback.

Is a sporting event the right place and the right time?

“While confined here in the Birmingham city jail, I came across your recent statement calling my present activities ‘unwise and untimely.’ …

Frankly, I have yet to engage in a direct action campaign that was ‘well timed’ in the view of those who have not suffered unduly from the disease of segregation,” wrote the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. The University of Colorado made a clear statement when they allowed the “Illini” to make a racist statement by taking the court, while threatening me with arrest for making an anti-racist statement.

I would like an apology and a full refund for the game. I would like for the university to not display the names of racist mascots on the scoreboard, instead substituting the university name.

Tim Hundsdorfer/Boulder WikiLeaks and Iran Recently, diplomatic cables released

by WikiLeaks to major newspapers proved the fact that Iran’s nuclear program is considered a deadly threat to the entire Middle East. They showed that Arab leaders fear Iran much more than they fear Israel.

Talks between Iran and the European Union are about to resume in Geneva. The Obama administration must act to ensure that Tehran does not use these discussions as another delaying tactic as it moves forward with its efforts to develop a nuclear weapon.

President Obama must work on a new, much tougher round of U.N. sanctions against Iran while enforcing the current sanctions. All options must remain on the table and credibly ready for use, if and when necessary.

Finally, President Obama must stand firm in unconditional support of our ally, Israel, in its pursuit of security and peace, a quest that will be of benefit to the populations of its neighbors see LETTERS Page 9

Uncensored

boulderweekly.com/uncensored

Marriage 2.0

by Pamela White

W

hen the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals upholds a lower court decision to overturn California’s Proposition 8 — as it almost certainly will — it will be a victory not only for gays and lesbians, who will once again have the right to marry in California, but for heterosexual women, as well.

In fact, if Proposition 8 is permanently overturned and gay marriage wins a foothold in this country, it might do what religious conservatives will never be able to do — save heterosexual marriage.

Although the text of the 9th Circuit Court’s ruling will revolve around same-sex couples and their right to marry like heterosexual couples, the subtext is all about gender.

Federal District Court Chief Judge Vaughn R. Walker, the conservative judge who struck down California’s gay marriage ban, exposed this subtext brilliantly in his controversial decision this past August.

Walker first recounts the arguments both for and against Proposition 8, noting that those who oppose gay marriage include among their reasons the fact that men and women produce children together and that marriage helps to control sexuality and “filiation.” In other words, those who oppose gay marriage believe that marriage is intended for the controlled expression of sexuality and for making babies.

Walker then pokes holes in this argument — not a difficult thing to do.

“The evidence did not show any historical purpose for excluding samesex couples from marriage, as states have never required spouses to have an ability or willingness to procreate in order to marry,” writes Walker in his ruling. “Rather, the exclusion exists as an artifact of a time when the genders were seen as having distinct roles in society and marriage. That time has passed. … Gender no longer forms an essential part of marriage; marriage under law is a union of equals.”

Sing me a love song! For many young women, those are beautiful words. In the span of a couple of generations, we’ve gone from a culture in which gender was destiny to one in which the roles a women plays in her life can be shaped by choice. For us, marriage must be a union of equals — or forget about it.

Long gone are the days of Father Knows Best, where Dad was the undisputed head of the household and Mom was his meek helpmeet, bearing children and baking pies. Nowadays, women do pretty much every job men do. Most hold jobs, some earning more than their husbands. Most become mothers, some without marrying. And more women are actively choosing not to have children at all.

If children are optional in heterosexual marriages and women and men play interchangeable roles in the household and in society, then what, Walker asks, is the basis for denying same-sex see MARRIAGE Page 8

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MARRIAGE from Page 6

couples the right to marry? In the reali- average do less than half as much childty of this social landscape, Proposition care and housework as their working 8 supporters are simply pushing their wives. So while women are escaping the own moral-religious agenda on others, “gender as destiny” trap in other areas Walker argues. of their lives, on the home front, they’re “Proponents’ asserted state interests too often roped into the roles their in tradition are nothing more than taugrandmothers played — even after an tologies and do not exhausting day at amount to rational work.

Those who bases for Proposition Those who oppose gay 8,” he writes. oppose gay marSo what does riage want to marriage want this have to do with uphold an instito uphold an heterosexual tution which, in women? its traditional institution Although form, too often which, in its women have made fails women. By great strides on the redefining martraditional career front, marriage as a bond form, too often riage remains an between consentarea of unhappiness ing adults, rather fails women. for so many women. than just maleWomen initiate an female couples, a estimated 75 to 80 ruling against percent of divorces, a statistic that has Proposition 8 would obliterate those remain steady since the introduction of notions where they concern gender, no-fault divorce. transforming marriage, at least on What’s at the root of this? Statistics paper, from an institution that far too show it’s not spousal abuse or infidelity. many women find burdensome into what it should be — a partnership of It’s unhappiness with the experience of equals. marriage.

Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com In dual-career marriages, men on

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quotes

quotes of the week

“How do you deal toughly with your banker?”

—Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, discussing the challenges associated with China’s rising financial clout, in a leaked document “I will give my friend credit for creativity, and extra points for getting so many ‘facts’ wrong in so few sentences.”

—Bristol Palin, reacting to comedian Margaret Cho’s claims that Palin’s mother forced her to compete on Dancing with the Stars because Bristol owed her for costing her the 2008 election by getting pregnant “The water was churning like I was in a washing machine. I was being thrown around in the blood. The shark was thrashing and tearing at this poor woman.”

—British tourist Ellen Barnes, who witnessed the recent shark attack in Sharm el-Sheikh, Egypt, that killed a woman from Germany Boulder Weekly

Six Persimmons

LETTERS from Page 6

as well.

Charles Michaels/Greenwood Village Hyde Park vs. Hawaii It is absolutely the most interesting and supreme irony that Republicans and others who consistently attacked Obama for being a Chicago “political gangster,” essentially, have found a much gentler, completely cerebral and far more mild-mannered neophyte than they ever could have imagined.

I know because I’m old enough to remember the end of Mayor Daley’s completely and very severely dominated Chicago political machine.

And, hey, as much as everybody could and would fight politically, they always knew that the “Big Dick” was the boss. Well, him and the mob, of course.

There’s almost always a touch of a nostalgic Stockholm Syndrome for those days of passion and unity that I wish Democrats had today without such a forcing of things and/or other corruption(s). They say it’s true that Daley helped steal the election for Kennedy, por ejemplo.

I agree with the observations of my lifelong friends who are from Hyde Park, Freddie and Marcus, who say that Obama is from warm, sunshiny, paradisy Hawaii — not Hyde Park — and he/ we simply do not know if he can take a punch — or more importantly now, if he can actually just throw a few important ones.

Grant D. Cyrus/Boulder Rotten fruit Blessed John Henry Cardinal Newman called “liberalism” the rejection of faith in public life and education. Let’s analyze some of the abundance of rotten fruit they’ve produced over the years.

We have gay “marriage” for starters.

Not only does this contradict God’s laws, but the natural law as well. Why can’t gay couples naturally produce the good fruit of children? Need I say more?

The liberal agenda says that murdering an elderly or disabled person is justified if that person is in a state they deem to be unworthy of living. And they have the nerve to call this “death with dignity” or a “mercy-killing.”

Enough of your misleading word games! It’s murder!

And the most destructive and poisonous of fruits liberals have produced is abortion! To think that killing an eagle is a crime, but killing an unborn baby is not, is despicable, and we owe this to those liberals who are being played as Satan’s instrument of death.

Have you ever wondered why crime, violence and murder have spiked since Boulder Weekly

the 1970s? In the book Beyond Sodom and Gomorrah, authors Bob and Penny Lord show a direct correlation between violence in our schools and the removal of God and prayer from schools. They also show the correlation between crime and violence and abortion, because, as Mother Teresa said, “Abortion is the greatest destroyer of love and peace.”

With it being Christmas time, one has to wonder if liberals would have been OK if the Child Jesus would have been a “choice.” With the way many liberals lead their lives, you might even think they would have liked it if Christ wouldn’t have been born at all, that way, they wouldn’t have a Judge to judge their rotten fruit!

Thank God for the Blessed Virgin Mary, who showed us all what it truly means to be feminine, when she said “Yes” to life, unlike the nonsense we hear from NOW and NARAL! Mike Rachiele/via Internet Boulder blues It is so wonderful to know that jazz and blues live venues are expanding in Boulder and Boulder County. The talented musicians we have here are amazing, from age 13 to as old as you can want.

Caffe Sole in Table Mesa and The Mezz at the Hotel Boulderado are offering jazz music at least once or twice a week. Boulder Outlook Hotel has jazz and blues jams on alternate Sunday evenings. The Draft House in downtown Boulder has jazz happy hours almost every Friday.

Carelli’s Italian Ristorante has George Nelson every Thursday and Saturday night. Treppeda’s Italian Ristorante in Niwot has jazz or folk music or blues every Thursday evening.

Cuvee (formerly The Blending Cellar) will have jazz and Brazilian all week long when it reopens. Then there is Trattoria on Pearl Street, with occasional jazz nights. So does Nissi’s in Lafayette.

Have I forgotten anyone?

My favorite music is live jazz/blues, and, of course, Hawaiian music. I am so thrilled to have a variety of places to hear live music in and around Boulder.

Please join me in supporting these venues and their musicians.

Miriam Paisner/Boulder

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Boulder Weekly

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December 9, 2010 9

news Finding Loko locally? Good luck

I

t seems that the phenomenon of Four Loko will mirror the effect it has on those who drink it: After a brief but soaring high, it appears set to come crashing down.

A recent ruling by the Food and Drug Administration on the safety of alcoholic energy drinks like Four Loko has prompted liquor stores around the country to take their cans off the shelves and has threatened to cripple the alcoholic energy drink industry.

The FDA issued a ruling on Nov. 17 that alcohol combined with caffeine was unsafe and posed a public health risk. The ruling followed a year-long study of popular alcoholic energy drinks that combine alcohol with stimulants like cafSusan France feine. The FDA gave warnings to four companies — including Phusion Projects, which manufactures Four Loko — saying that they had 15 days to show the FDA that they intended to reformulate their drinks or face the possibility of getting their products seized.

Four Loko is a maltbased alcoholic energy drink that was first released in 2005 and became very popular with college students. The drink comes in several fruity flavors, like Blue Raspberry and Cranberry Lemonade, and derives its name from the fact that it has four main ingredients: alcohol, caffeine, guarana and taurine (guarana and taurine are stimulants often found in energy drinks). The drink is sold in colorful 23.5-ounce cans and contains 12 percent alcohol by volume, which means a single can is equivalent to about four beers and a cup of coffee all rolled into one, earning the drink the nickname “blackout in a can” from its detractors.

With its colorful packaging and fruity flavors, the drink quickly became popular with younger drinkers, particularly on college campuses.

“Four Loko is definitely our best-selling alcoholic energy drink, and the people we normally see buying them are students and the younger crowd,” says Josh Cherry, the day manager at Baseline Liquors. “It’s definitely not the older, more sophisticated drinkers. The range is typically 21 to 25 years old.”

Four Loko’s soaring popularity soon attracted the attention of the FDA, which announced last November that it had never approved the addition of caffeine to alcoholic drinks and that it would be con10 December 9, 2010

by Mitchell Byars ducting a study to assess the health risks.

The FDA ruled that the drinks are more dangerous than typical alcohols because the addition of caffeine and other stimulants temporarily masks the effects of alcohol. As a result, drinkers are often unable to properly judge how drunk they are, which leads them to drink more than they can handle or do things that they normally would avoid after drinking. A 2009 University of Florida study showed that subjects who drank alcoholic energy drinks were four times more likely to think they were OK to drive than those who consumed the same amount of non-caffeinated alcohol.

“They may not be aware that the alcohol content is much higher than they are used to drinking in a regular beer, so they may be consuming more alcohol than they are aware of,” says Donald Misch, the director of CU’s Wardenburg Health Center. “Now some kids do this intentionally. This is a great way to pre-party quickly. I think that some of its appeal is that it serves that function.”

The issue came into the spotlight after a party gone wrong in Roslyn, Wash., on Oct. 8. Police found a woman passed out in the parking lot of a grocery store, and found out from her friends that she had been drinking Four Loko at a nearby party.

When officers arrived at the party, they found that it had gotten out of control, with several students passed out and so intoxicated that officers initially thought that they had overdosed on drugs.

Nine students at the party who were drinking Four Loko were hospitalized with blood alcohol levels ranging from 0.12 to 0.35, and one woman almost died.

All nine students attended nearby Central Washington University and were underage.

The incident gained national attention, and the state moved quickly to ban the drink, issuing an emergency ban on all caffeinated alcoholic drinks that went into effect on Nov. 18. The emergency ban lasts 120 days, but the state liquor board can make the ban permanent if it chooses to do so. Five other states — Kansas, Utah, Massachusetts, Michigan and Oklahoma — have followed suit and issued bans, while Phusion Projects has agreed to voluntarily stop shipping Four Loko to New York and Connecticut.

Several colleges have also taken steps to rid their campuses of the drinks. Some have banned Four Loko

outright, while others have even tried to ban non-alcoholic energy drinks, fearful that students will mix the alcohol and energy drinks on their own. CU officials did not do either, partly because they felt banning alcoholic energy drinks or energy drinks themselves was a slippery slope.

“Why this one versus another one?” Misch says. “I think there are reasons why these drinks are of concern, that’s for sure, but whether or not we even have an ability to ban a specific kind of drink is another question.”

Misch says that CU has not had any reported incidents like the party in Roslyn, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t happening.

“We haven’t had people that have ended up in the emergency room that we are aware of because of Four Loko or drinks like that,” Misch says. “But as you can imagine, students don’t rush to tell us that they are drinking these things, so typically, unless something bad happens, we won’t know about specific incidents.

It doesn’t mean it’s not occurring; I’m sure it is, but we don’t have specific incidents, and I hope it stays that way.”

Phusion Projects has already said it will be reformulating the drink, taking out the caffeine, guarana and taurine. Because Phusion gave the FDA its written intention to reformulate the drink, it shouldn’t face any further action by the FDA. But despite its efforts to take out the caffeine and other additives, Four Loko may still face problems convincing states that the drink is safe. Kansas, the latest state to ban the drink, banned Four Loko even after the company announced the reformulation.

There is also a question of whether Four Loko will continue to sell after the reformulation. Without the appeal of the caffeine additives, Four Loko essentially becomes just another malt beer, albeit a fruity one.

Similar drinks like Tilt (manufactured by Anheuser Busch) and Sparks (Miller Brewing), which reformulated their drinks to omit stimulants like caffeine, have experienced a drastic drop in sales with the reformulated product.

“Sparks, we barely sell any of that stuff anymore,” says Cherry.

Last week he told Boulder Weekly that he believes Baseline Liquor is the only liquor store in Boulder that still has Four Loko in stock. Cherry added that the remaining drinks with the original formula have been flying off the shelves since the FDA’s announcement.

Cherry also said that the store will carry the reformulated version to see how the new formula sells.

“We’re going to see how it goes,” says Cherry.

“We’re not ready to make a decision yet. We’re expecting it won’t be nearly as popular, and I don’t think we’re going to give it as much space. Right now we carry all of the flavors two-wide on our shelves. But if the sales drastically drop, who knows? It’s hard to say right now.”

Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com Boulder Weekly

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Cheney charged At least Nigeria has the balls to file charges against Dick Cheney.

Cheney, who was CEO of Halliburton before becoming Shrub’s vice president in 2001, is being accused of bribery by Nigeria’s Economic and Financial Crimes Commission. Nigeria alleges that Halliburton, one of its subsidiaries and other companies paid $180 million in bribes to Nigerian officials between 1994 and 2004 to win a $6 billion liquefied natural gas plant contract, according to Bloomberg.

In a surprising twist, Halliburton denied the charges.

Nice. We can think of some of other things to charge Cheney with. His natural gas and hot air are the least of the offenses.

Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com Boulder Weekly

2. Questioning circumcision 3. Is Sarah Palin smart enough to be president?

4. Panorama (12/2) 5. The stash 6. Mark Wahlberg battled for ‘The Fighter’ 7. Foreclosure crisis hits home in Colorado 8. Local organic brewery celebrates first anniversary 9. With shades of ‘Trane 10. Life under Duran Duran

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Is Sarah Palin smart enough to be president?

• Yes. Governers make the best presidents! 14% • Nope. She’s dumb as a rock. 36% • Maybe. Has she learned anything since the last presidential election?

4% • Does it matter? She’s hot! 6%

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Do you think the FDA should ban caffeinated alcoholic drinks like Four Loko?

• Yes. It’s too dangerous.

• No. That’s like prohibition.

• Only for college kids.

• I don’t care. I have my Red Bull and vodka right here!

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Spotlight

Make me disappear We recently received an interesting missive from a guy named Frank Ahearn, who claims to be “a privacy expert who works with people who need to disappear.”

Mr. Ahearn says his clients include “victims of stalkers, celebrities searching for more privacy and others who need to fall off the grid or live under the radar!”

He then goes on to pimp his book, the aptly named How to Disappear.

But wait, there’s more!

If you order now, your enemies can also pay to have you found!

The small print at the end of the so-called press release states, “Also, if you are ever in need of an expert on locating people, disappearances, pseudocide, social engineering, online scams and other topics of deception, I am available for comment.”

We’d pass along some contact information, but this guy is so good we couldn’t track him down.

1. The economic impact of undocumented immigrants

Many believe “illegal aliens” are taking Americans’ jobs, getting paid under the table and feeding from the public trough by relying on government services — services that are funded by taxes paid by “real” citizens. But a closer look at the research reveals the issue is not that simple.

Tit for tat A man accused of murder is having his day in a Florida court this week, and he’s getting some free taxpayer-funded makeup to ensure he gets a fair trial.

According to news reports, John Allen Ditullio, Jr., is a neo-Nazi whose face and neck are covered with tattoos, including one of a swastika. He could face the death penalty if he is convicted of stabbing a teenager to death in 2006, a crime that prosecutors say was motivated by racism and homophobia. The state is paying for a cosmetologist to cover up the tattoos each day of the trial.

Hey, we’re all for giving people a fair shake, innocent until proven guilty, and all of that jazz. But if this guy voluntarily got a swastika tattoo on his face, so that everyone would know what his putrid views are, then the jury should have that same opportunity. Hey, it’s his free speech, right? He should stand by such a permanent, public statement if he’s so proud of it.

Besides, this is a slippery slope. Should state taxpayer dollars also be used to provide wigs to skinheads?

Puffer season Some people might hear the term “puffer season” and think we’re talking about a particularly dank crop of weed or a gay pride parade. There’s also a definition in the urban dictionary that’s not fit for a family newspaper, but you can look it up. It involves flatulence, let’s just put it that way.

But in this case, we’re referring to the Colorado State Patrol’s recent warning to drivers about the winter danger of leaving your car running, unattended, to warm it up in the cold weather, or to run inside the 7-Eleven to grab a Mountain Dew and some Slim Jims.

You see, would-be robbers can see the smoke coming out of your tailpipe in the winter because it’s so damn cold, and when they see no one behind the wheel, it’s practically a written invitation to steal your ride. The cops refer to this peak auto theft period as “puffer season,” apparently.

Anyway, you’ve been warned. Don’t leave your car puffing, even if you are a puffer in any other sense of the word.

Week of Dec. 2 - Dec. 8

Gift Guide II 2010 We here at 2010 Boulder Weekly II love the holidays. The parties, the concerts, the festive lights, the seasonal food and drink, and of course, all the fabulous local shopping. Boulder’s merchants, artisans, chefs and crafters really shine this time of year. But we know how hard it can be to find that perfect gift for everyone on your list.

Check out our choices in Gifts II!

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Why won’t banks treat dispensaries like other businesses?

by Jefferson Dodge

O

ver the past year, banks as small as Elevations Credit Union and as large as Wells Fargo have shuttered accounts

held by medical marijuana dispensaries, forcing the owners of those businesses to scramble for alternatives.

The dispensaries are caught in a Catch-22. State officials want to increase accountability by tracking every marijuana plant and every transaction, but without bank records, that becomes difficult.

Still, help may be on the way. At least one consultant is introducing a sophisticated computer tracking system that documents medical marijuana from seed to sale. There is also an effort to create a state credit union that caters to the medical marijuana industry. The one lingering problem: the small matter of finding someone willing to pony up the several million dollars needed to start such a bank.

Denver attorney Jessica Peck Corry of Hoban & Feola says banking for the medical marijuana industry is still an untapped market that could be captured by a bank or credit union that is regulated at the state — instead of federal — level.

“A credit union model specific to the industry would allow businesses to lift the veil of stigma from their operations and work together to help their respective aspirations thrive,” she told Boulder Weekly. “The challenge will come in raising a substantial amount of private equity to get a credit union started, about $4 million based on proposals we’ve seen. This industry is becoming more sophisticated by the day, and we’re hopeful this type of

14 December 9, 2010

model could become reality within the next year or two.” **** The problem with providing banking services to dispensaries lies in the fact that while medical marijuana is legal at the state level, it is still classified as a schedule I controlled substance at the federal level.

Elevations Compliance Manager Cenobio Chacon told Boulder Weekly earlier this year that the Bank Secrecy Act of 1970 requires financial institutions to help the government prevent money laundering, tax evasion and other criminal activities.

As a result, he said, any transactions suspected of not being conducted legally must be reported, he says, and the compliance efforts involved in policing clients in industries like medical marijuana are too costly for most banks to undertake.

Tim Powers, vice president of communications for the Colorado Bankers Association, describes it this way: “Current bank regulations require us to broadly know what type of business our customers are operating in, and determine that the business is not blatantly operating an illegal business, or engaging in illegal activity. With regard to medical marijuana dispensaries, unfortunately the banks are caught between conflicting state and federal laws — one saying this action is legal and another saying it is not. Possible non-compliance with our regulations carry strict and costly penalties.

“Many individual banks have approached regulators for guidance on this issue since the inception of Colorado’s medical marijuana law,” he continues.

“Some have been told to be ‘very cautious’ and warned of potential compliance issues with current regulations, while recently others have unofficially been told to not open these accounts until rules and guidance has been established.

“It is an unusual quagmire we hope regulators will address soon.”

David Barr, spokesperson for the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC), told Boulder Weekly, “The FDIC has not issued any prohibitions for our banks in their dealings with businesses that are engaged in medical marijuana dispensaries.”

But the banks have seen the writing on the wall. **** Not being able to open a bank account has put dispensary owners in a pickle, especially as state officials push for more transparency and documentation of medical marijuana transactions.

Corry says the few dispensaries and banks that

are still in business together have a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy.

“Given that FDIC-insured banks remain wary of opening accounts for medical marijuana-related businesses, Colorado’s industry finds itself in a tough spot,” she says. “The new state rules require full transparency and standard business practices, but federal prohibition makes this difficult. These circumstances encourage cash transactions and money orders. As far as lending, we’ve seen an innovative private lending market thrive. Many of our clients’ businesses are family owned and operated, so we see a lot of lending provided by grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles and siblings.”

One Boulder dispensary owner who did not want to be identified says he has lost five bank accounts in a little more than a year. He says there were two banks in Colorado Springs willing to work with dispensaries, but now there is only one, and it charges $200 a month in fees.

Some dispensaries have turned to brokerage accounts at small companies for their merchant services, like for credit card transactions.

But cash, which is used in the majority of dispensaries’ transactions, is another matter.

“People are doing all kinds of crazy things with cash,” he says.

“There are a lot of ways that are not quite kosher.”

Those include creating a bank account under one’s own name or under a business name that doesn’t allude to medical marijuana. Some have started unrelated companies just to have a bank account, which he says “technically is money-laundering. You’re not supposed to do that, but it’s the only way to get around it.”

He adds that some dispensaries have not lost their accounts because their business name is innocuous or because they don’t have a website where banks can learn about their services. It’s another Catch-22, he says, when you need to have an online presence to sell your products, but by doing so you risk losing your bank account.

He points out that dispensaries can’t do employee withholdings for things like federal taxes, Social Security and Medicare without a bank account.

“To run a business without a bank account is almost impossible,” he says. “Everybody’s being pretty quiet about this. Nobody wants to say what they’re doing. We have enough trouble with this business as it is; we don’t need more.” **** By several accounts, the lone remaining bank in the state that has publicly declared its willingness to do business with dispensaries is Colorado Springs

Boulder Weekly

State Bank. Bank employees referred all questions to bank President Alan Gregory, who did not return calls from Boulder Weekly.

Henri Morin, co-owner of Colorado Patients First, says that Colorado Springs State Bank is willing to put drop boxes in Boulder and Longmont for those who don’t want to make the three-hour round trip to make daily cash deposits. He says he is not sure what other dispensary owners are doing with their cash because they are “very secretive.”

He says he may end up doing business with that Colorado Springs bank because his days of having an account with Wells Fargo are numbered. Morin says he had hoped to open an account at Bank of the West, since he knows of several dispensaries that have had accounts there, but after meeting with bank representatives last week, he’s not optimistic that they will accept dispensaries much longer.

Asked whether his bank recently decided to stop doing business with dispensaries, Bank of the West spokesperson John Stafford said, “I cannot verify that at one time we did business with medical marijuana dispensaries.” He also would not comment on whether the bank has closed any dispensary accounts.

“I don’t know what happened, probably something with the feds,” Morin says of Bank of the West. “It’s amazing.

At the beginning, everybody wanted the business, and now there’s no one.”

He also expresses concern that regulations are being decided at the state level by a Department of Revenue advisory committee that doesn’t accept public comment at its hearings.

**** “We are very nervous,” Frank Horwich, co-owner of Boulder Medical Marijuana Center, says of dispensaries that have managed to maintain accounts, whether with banks, brokers or investors. “It makes it just terrifying. … We try to hedge our bets and not have our eggs in one basket.”

He declines to divulge the names of the firms he has accounts with, for fear of losing them.

As for doing business with Colorado Springs State Bank, Horwich says that even with drop boxes, it will take longer than it should for deposits to be recorded, which might present a cash-flow challenge for some dispensaries.

“It’s a nightmare to have that cash lying around,” he says, alluding the risk of burglary. “I have a bunch of cute little girls working in my store, and I don’t want to put them at risk.”

In most cases, the lack of a bank means no real estate transactions, no mortgages, no leases, Horwich says.

“In this business, nobody will underBoulder Weekly

write any kind of financing,” he explains. “I do not know how you can operate without a bank account.”

When asked about the idea of a state-chartered bank or credit union expressly for medical marijuana dispensaries, Horwich says such an entity could corner the market and charge high rates.

“They’d be the most loved and the most hated in the industry,” he says.

Nicholas King, co-owner of Alpine Herbal Wellness and a member of the Department of Revenue’s rulemaking advisory committee, guesses that every dispensary in the state has had at least one of its bank accounts closed.

While some dispensaries are “hanging on” to their accounts because they have a long relationship with their bank, he says, others have lost their accounts because their bank was alerted to their line of work after the Department of Revenue contacted their bank as part of the state licensing process.

King says he has turned to Colorado Springs State Bank for banking services.

“We want to be above-board,” he says. **** For now, some are still holding out hope that a private option will pan out.

“We’re cautiously optimistic about the prospect of a private credit union model and have seen some really dynamic models put forth,” Corry says.

“While the industry still suffers from dated stoner stereotypes, sophisticated financial planners and strategists are involved in growing numbers.”

Denver consultant Christopher Sterling uses high-end business-tobusiness jargon like “enterprise distribution system” and “client portal” when discussing the tracking system he is pitching to marijuana-growing operations, dispensaries and state officials.

Like the electronic real-time systems and portable scanners used by UPS, Federal Express and Wal-Mart, he says, the software and hardware products he is peddling will provide state officials and others the transparency they desire by documenting medical marijuana from the time it is planted to the time it is sold, using GPS technology and radio frequency identification. “This legitimizes the businesses,” he says.

Corry concludes, “We hope the federal government will acknowledge the value of MMJ businesses for local banks and reverse its current policies.

Congressman Jared Polis has been a strong supporter of state MMJ rights and has lobbied his fellow lawmakers to support change here.

“Time will tell.”

Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com

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December 9, 2010 15

news

Smokin’ bowls

Lafayette’s new skatepark proves the ’burbs are leading the pack

by Oakland L. Childers

Susan France

Al Brunelle

Susan France

Glen Charnoski

16 December 9, 2010

T

he city of Lafayette is not the first place anyone thinks of when the words “cutting edge” or “revolutionary” get tossed around, but when it comes to municipal skateparks, of which there are many in the state of Colorado, the tiny Boulder ’burb stands atop the heap.

So what happened in Lafayette to make its brand new skatepark, built adjacent to the Bob L. Burger Recreation Center at the intersection of Public and Baseline roads and scheduled to open on Dec. 11, such a groundbreaking affair? For one, it appears the city actually listened to those who know best what makes a skatepark either an endless source of fun or a lump of worthless concrete Susan France suitable for just about anything but skateboarding (we’re looking at you, Louisville).

“We are a cutting-edge department, and we’d accept nothing less than a cuttingedge skatepark,” says Curt Cheesman, director of recreation and facility management for the Lafayette Recreation Center, looking out over the sprawling facility. “This was designed, built and skated by skaters.”

Cheesman says the city started by talking to area skateboarders about what they wanted in a skatepark, Oakland something a lot of cities do.

Childers The big difference between Lafayette and some municipalities is what came next: they took that information to the experienced folks at Team Pain, the Florida-based skatepark company responsible for mind-blowing parks in Roxborough, Colorado Springs and Aspen. Team Pain, headed by awardwinning veteran skater and builder Tim Payne, considered the skaters’ wish lists and the city’s own needs and came up with a design that is both functional and beautiful, “a piece of art,” according to Cheesman.

One of the things that first stands out to anyone entering the Lafayette Skate Park is the use of large, native stones as part of the architecture.

Giant slabs of sandstone are deftly incorporated into the bowls. On the deck, a pair of skinny, solid granite quarter pipes jut from the concrete, offering not just a sharp visual contrast but also a fun and ridiculously challenging obstacle for skaters to test their mettle.

On the street course, real black marble ledges, benches and other obstacles offer the best possible

surface for skaters to grind and slide. The few places in the country where marble exists naturally in the architecture have long been coveted by skaters and defended like national treasures by over-zealous security guards and police. Now, here it is — heaps of the stuff — out in the open in a public skatepark.

Ask any skateboarder: We have dreams about this.

“It’s different,” says Al Brunelle, an accomplished 18-year-old skater from Longmont who got to try out the park prior to the grand opening. “You don’t find [the various rock formations] at other parks. That’s what makes it fun. It’s by far my favorite in Colorado.”

Glen Charnoski, a veteran professional skateboarder living in Boulder, says Team Pain outdid itself in creating the Lafayette park.

“I’d say it’s probably the best and most creative park in Colorado now,” says Charnoski, who prefers the larger, deeper bowls the park has to offer.

Along with a street plaza with rails, stairs, ledges and other obstacles, the park features a combination minibowl and street area that flows into transitions at one end, leading to the bowls.

The beginner bowl is mostly shallow, ranging from about three to six feet and combining metal coping and a tiled corner with perfect, slick pool coping. Next door is the advanced bowl, which bottoms out at around 12 feet with a foot of vertical.

With pool coping and tile all the way around, it is the perfect place for big vert skaters like Charnoski to do their thing.

“It’s just so smooth,” says Charnoski, who laments the outdated nature of his hometown park in Boulder’s Scott Carpenter Park. “The pool coping and tiles are such a pleasure. It looks cool and feels so good.”

In every way, Lafayette has a winner in its new skatepark. It may be one of many in some respects, but to the skaters who know, the ’burbs are where it’s at.

“These new modern parks make Boulder’s [Scott Carpenter Park] seem out of date,” says Charnoski. “It served its purpose, but the cement is rough and bumpy, and it’s overcrowded. That’s why we come out to the suburbs.”

Oakland L. Childers is a former professional journalist and owner of System Skateboarding, a skateboard shop opening this spring in Louisville.

Boulder Weekly

boulderganic

boulderganic.com

Driven to drive less

by Charmaine Ortega Getz

A

re you looking for a car, maybe even a second ride, but also hoping to reduce emissions and

expenses?

Green-conscious folks are accomplishing that with two local programs. One uses communal vehicles, the other Charmaine Ortega Getz rewards reduction of drive time.

Nonprofit car-sharing exists in several U.S cities. The Boulder version began in 1997 as Little Red Car Co-op. By 2009, it had grown into a nonprofit called eGo CarShare, to reflect expansion to Denver. There are about 1,100 participants.

“Some organizations are like a rental company because they buy the cars for member use,” says Karen Worminghaus, executive director of eGo CarShare. “We may be the first to use the peer-to-peer method — we lease some vehicles from members and keep the title for the lease period. CarShare is responsible for the maintenance, insurance, even gas, repairs and tires.”

There are 17 Boulder vehicles and eight in Denver, with a pickup truck in each fleet. Boulder’s lineup includes donated or loaned older economy cars.

All vehicles are in good shape, and accessible at designated locations. Members go online to locate and reserve a vehicle. A gas card is provided for fill-ups.

Boulder resident Jane Enterline says her family needed a second car, but it was hard to justify the expenses of infrequent use. So she bought a 2007 Honda Fit about a month ago and leased it to CarShare for two years. It’s parked in front of her house with the CarShare logo displayed on the sides. She also uses it by reserva-

Boulder Weekly

tion, but her membership is free.

“They even clean it for me!” says Enterline. “Of course, you have to plan ahead; no just jumping in on impulse. So long as you don’t need a car for a regular commute, it’s a great deal.”

There is a one-time $25 application fee to participate, then a sliding rental fee, depending on how frequent the usage planned — from weekly to a few times a year.

All other expenses, even gas and insurance, are covered.

Another program for reducing the environmental burden is run by the City of Boulder. The Driven to Drive Less campaign debuted in August and has 249 participants who forego driving at least once a week. They’re eligible for discounts and other perks from local sponsors such as The Sink, Noodles & Company, Full Cycle and Fresh Produce Sportswear.

For participant Aaron Kennedy, founder of Noodles & Company, the biggest benefit is personal.

“I’ve always been a bit of a bikecommuting zealot,” Kennedy says.

“When we moved outside of Boulder, I began to work from home. It reduced my biking considerably. Now I’ve got more incentive to leave the car behind and run my errands by bicycle.”

The program allows him to use his car on his “off ” day when necessary. His family can be supportive without being forced to participate.

“My kids are old enough to share driving a car,” Kennedy says.

“I’d rather they be persuaded by my example than having to participate because I do.”

For more information, visit www.carshare.org or www.drivento driveless.com.

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Boulder Weekly

Todd Purifoy

inside

Page 27 / Arts & Culture: Lisa Siciliano rocks the lens

Page 39 / Sophisticated Sex: A penis by any other name

Page 41 / Elevation:

[cuts] Step into the world of snowshoeing

buzz

Can’t-miss events for the upcoming week

inside

Erik Stenbakken

Learn how to make your photos shine with a class on using the flash creatively at Boulder Digital Arts.

Thursday, Dec. 9

A Christmas Carol — Presented

by Colorado Shakespeare Festival, this timeless classic is sure to get you in the holiday spirit. 7 p.m. University Theatre, CU campus, 303-492-0554.

Friday, Dec. 10

Season of Light — Trippy, bro.

7:30 p.m. Fiske Planetarium, CU campus, 303-492-5001.

Saturday, Dec. 11

Making Merry in Boulder — Presented by Stories on Stage. 2 p.m. The Dairy Center for the Arts, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826.

Sunday, Dec. 12

V

ery few banjo players possess enough talent to influence a music scene so powerfully as the late Leftover Salmon banjoist Mark Vann. But when Vann lost his battle with melanoma in 2002 at age 39, some of his fellow bandmates came up with an idea to memorialize their friend through an annual benefit concert — a gathering of friends and fellow musicians to pay tribute to the man who many say redefined the banjo and influenced countless other players during his too-short life.

“Mark was a phenomenal banjo player who really broke a lot of new territory in the rock ’n’ roll banjo realm with his playing and was also kind of the central organizer in Leftover Salmon, and it was really hard to go on without him,” says mandolin whiz Vince Herman, one of Vann’s bandmates in Leftover Salmon. “He was a real giving, and loving character, and we love the idea of keeping his memory alive and associating it with new and good see BUZZLEAD Page 22 things.”

From its humble beginnings at the now defunct Boulder Weekly

Trilogy Wine Bar in 2002, the Mark Vann Foundation Holiday Benefit Show has now grown into somewhat of a local tradition at the Boulder Theater, with each year bringing a smattering of guest musicians together to raise money for the Mark Vann Foundation, which this year will benefit nonprofits There With Care and CareConnect.

This year, on top of a bill that includes Herman’s new group, Great American Taxi, Bill McKay Band, Bonfire Dub, Shannon McNally & Hot Sauce and others sits Nashville-based songwriter Todd Snider, the wry, sardonic singer known for his clever blend of folk and country styles.

Snider’s first breakthrough came with a song included as a hidden track on his first CD, Songs for the Daily Planet. The song, “Talking Seattle Grunge-Rock Blues,” was a piece Snider wrote in 1993, at a time when everyone was aware of this new sound in rock ’n’ roll called grunge but before everyone fully grasped the influence it would have on the world. The song tells the story of a

The Nutcracker — Presented by Ballet Nouveau Colorado. The magical holiday classic returns, featuring dancing Sugarplum Fairies and all. Performing Arts Complex at PCS, 1001 W. 84th Ave., Denver, 303-450-3985.

Monday, Dec. 13

“So, You’re a Poet” — Open mic poetry. Prepare your snapping fingers. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628.

Tuesday, Dec. 14

Using Your Flash Creatively — One of the most important yet underappreciated aspects of photography. 6 p.m. Boulder Digital Arts, 1600 Range St., Boulder, 303-875-0276.

Wednesday, Dec. 15

Holidays with Hosea — Whatever Jax has cooking this season, it’s guaranteed to be delicious. 6 p.m. Jax Fish House, 928 Pearl St, Boulder, 303-4441811.

December 9, 2010 21

band that moves to Seattle and creates a gimmick to sell records: They won’t play any music at all.

“Silence, the original alternative,” the band advertises.

The band goes on to become superstars, of course, with spots on television and at the Grammys, even releasing an unplugged album. It’s a telling example of Snider’s understated, Woodie Guthrie-type talent for storytelling over simple three-chord changes, a trait that has become somewhat of his trademark ever since.

Snider, a native of Portland, Ore., has released 10 studio albums but has never quite had what could be termed mainstream success. We caught up the songwriter last week.

Boulder Weekly: OK, how’d a Portland guy end up playing country and folk in Nashville?

Todd Snider: My family moved to Texas when I was a sophomore in high school, and I didn’t go with them, but I would go see them in the summer, and one summer I was there and saw Jerry Jeff Walker, and that was it. I was about 18, and I thought, man, I’m gonna walk like that and talk like that and dress like that and act like that. I went the next day, got a guitar.

It seems like most groups always have the guy that always needs a ride, and I was just that guy, the gypsy of my group. And so when I saw Jerry Jeff, I thought, “Shit man! You get a guitar, and go from freeloader to free spirit in three chords!”

BW: I wanted to ask you about “Talking Seattle Grunge-Rock Blues.” Being from Portland, it’d be easy to assume you were a grunge fan.

TS: Sure, I felt really out of place at the time. I was about 26, and I was trying to be a singer, you know. I was playing in Memphis, doing that what

[

On the Bill:

8th Annual Mark Vann Foundation Holiday Benefit Show takes place at the Boulder Theater on Saturday, Dec. 11.

Doors at 7:30. Musical guests include Todd Snider & Great American Taxi, Bill McKay Band, Shannon McNally & Hot Sauce, Bonfire Dub and more. Must be 21 to enter. Tickets are $20. 2032 14th St., Boulder, 303-786-7030.

]

they called the too-country-for-rock, too-rock-forcountry thing that people loved to play — more people loved to play it than loved to hear it.

It was probably about around ’93. Yeah, I think Nirvana had just one record out, and I had a haircut like him, and all that shit. I’m from Oregon — so I had a flannel shirt with holey jeans and long hair. I had to go, “Ah shit!” This is what everybody from my high school looked like all the time. And now, if you don’t want to look like you’re trying to look like that guy, you’d better go figure out something else.

BW: You’ve done lots of work with Great American Taxi, and you’re also pretty close to the Yonder Mountain String Band (YMSB) guys. How’d you get to know all these greats of the BoulderNederland music scene?

TS: Jeff Austin [of YMSB] was who I met first. I think we just went out drinking somewhere or something. And then I met Vince, and I knew that Vince was like Jeff ’s hero, and I knew who he was, of course, and so me and him met at a festival in Michigan … and I was standing on the side of the stage and he looked over and he stuck my name into one of their songs or something, and then right when they got off stage, I was like, “Ah, I’ve always wanted to meet you!” And then we were like, “Let’s go pick!”

As soon as we met each other, we said hello and then

we ran onto this bus — these hippies had this bus, like the Partridge family — and him and I ran up into the back of it … with Drew Emmit [of Leftover Salmon] … so it’s just the three of us and the Manson family, and it was a fuckin’ blast.

BW: Let’s talk about your latest record, 2009’s The Excitement Plan. What made you want to write a song about about Dock Ellis? [Pittsburgh Pirates pitcher who threw a no-hitter in 1970 and later claimed he did so under the influence of LSD] TS: It was somebody at Telluride, or one of those Planet Bluegrass shows.

I was backstage at one of those, and one of the younger musicians was tripping, getting ready to play.

And I said to someone, “Man, isn’t it amazing that in our line of work, you can do that? And, yeah, it’s fine; sometimes it’s even better. There’s just no other line of work you can pull that off in.” And somebody who I can’t remember told me, “I don’t know; one time this guy took a bunch of shrooms or LSD and fuckin’ threw a no-hitter and won a baseball game.” And I thought, “Oh, fuck. I gotta write a song about that.”

BW: Have you ever done acid yourself?

TS: Oh, yeah. Shit, yeah. Well, maybe not that many times. I always took shrooms when I wanted to do that. But there was a few times I took it and it was pretty dramatic. I liked it, thought it was good for me.

You know, I only had to take LSD once to figure out that guys who fight in parking lots are dumb. …

OK, you guys go and beat the ass out of each other.

I’m going to go down to this other bar where they listen to Phish.

Respond: Letters@boulderweekly.com

ALL AGES SHOW 9 PM

ALL AGES SHOW 9 PM

THE BOULDER WEEKLY & RADIO 1190 PRESENT

CELEBRATING thE MUSIC OF THE GRATEFUL DEAD & PINK FLOYD

W/ THE VERY WORST & FAT RABBIT

FRI DEC 17

22 December 9, 2010

IN PERSON: Albums on the Hill (Boulder) Twist & Shout Records (Denver)

Boulder Weekly

overtones boulderweekly.com/overtones

About Face

Local a cappella heroes change it up for the holidays

by Dave Kirby

A

ll right, so what if Ben Folds doesn’t get an invite; Face is closing in on another vocal-madness holiday gig at the Boulder Theater; part holy night, part holy crap, how do they do that?

Teetering on the brink of its second decade and firmly established as a local elixir of uncommon sparkle, Face isn’t spending too much time worrying about how Mr. Folds helped usher them off NBC’s televised Sing-Off thing last year, whining something about their Bon Jovi cover lagging a little on the chorus.

Pssh. They probably ended up getting the last laugh anyway.

“It’s been a really good year for us,” Ryan Driver told us recently.

But it’s worth noting that, apart from the stage “We probably got to springboard off the success of charisma and local-hero rep that these guys exude by being on the ‘Sing-Off ’ about a year ago. We’ve gotthe bushel, there’s a keen quotient of serious work ten out of town a little more than usual, including a involved in arranging and rehearsing music for six handful of out-of-town shows that we got specifically voices. Yeah, they make it look easy, and once you’re for being on that show. So it’s been cool … 70 or 80 good at it, it probably does follow the general outline shows this year.” that instinct traces for you. And true, this is a sympaHaving recently turned the thetic audience — the Nissi’s odometer past 100 gigs, Face is crowd in large part, probably On the Bill now more or less the undisputed mingling with various facFace plays the Boulder Theater chronic house party at Nissi’s, but tions of holiday-bedecked on Wednesday, Dec. 15, and Friday, Dec. 17. Shows start at 7 the holiday gig, now in its fourth Boulder nightlifers in festive p.m. Tickets are $14.50 for stuseason, migrates to the Boulder designer fleece. dents, $20.25 for general admisTheater next Wednesday and But these guys take their sion, and $26 for reserved seating. 2032 14th St., Boulder, 303Friday nights. craft very seriously — we 786-7030.

“The fact that we only perwondered if the holiday gig form this music one month out of represented anything like a the year, and that we try to keep it fresh every year — yearly visit from some needy ghost of Christmas past, bring in new holiday songs every year — means we screwing up writing, arranging and rehearsal plans pretty much dedicate all of October and November to every year for the band’s regular gigs locally and out preparing for these few shows,” Driver says. of town.

[

24 December 9, 2010

]

“October and November are generally pretty slow for us anyway,” Driver notes, “so it usually works out pretty well that we can spend most of those months preparing for this.

“But I mean it’s one of the few times in the year that we get to do something really different for a show. We don’t get too many opportunities throughout the course of the year — the other months of the year, the shows end up usually somewhat similar. We try to change it up, but it’s usually pretty close to our standard repertoire. December we get to do something totally different, and we look forward to that.”

You get the holiday gig at the Boulder Theater if you’re an institution, or however close you can come to it, but it occurs to us that singing is a uniquely individual expression, and at least from a rock band perspective, there’s usually one lead singer only because there’s … well, just one.

We asked Driver how the band has managed to keep six lead singers happy, contained within the band and not dashing off to do auditions for American Idol, at least over the course of the five or six years since their last personnel change.

“Well, to be fair about it, two of us have auditioned for ‘American Idol,’” Driver laughs, “and they didn’t want us, so it was back to Face.

“But, y’know, it’s a constant balance. Especially [since] four of the guys are married and have kids.

Being away 70 or 80 nights a year, juggling all those schedules, it’s definitely a challenge. But the answer, ultimately, is that we love doing this so much that it’s worth the sacrifice.

“We all think it’s worth it.”

Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com

Boulder Weekly

[

overtones

On the Bill

]

Phil Vassar plays the Grizzly Rose on Friday, Dec. 17. Tickets are $20 in advance, $23 day of show. 5450 N. Valley Highway, Denver, 303-295-1330.

boulderweekly.com/overtones

Stepping outside the country box

Radio execs frozen by PC, stingy country fans all in a day’s work for Phil Vassar

P

by Alan Sculley Wes Aldridge

hil Vassar found out that country music is still a play-it-safe genre when the song “Bobbi With An I” was floated to radio as a first single off of his current CD, The Traveling Circus.

The tune tells the tale of a guy who is a small town everyday Joe during the work week but shows up one evening at a nightclub dressed as a woman.

While clearly meant to be an over-the-top, funny song, country radio was skittish about sharing in the joke.

“Everybody is so busy trying to keep their jobs, they’re not doing their jobs,” Vassar says in a recent phone interview. “Everybody’s politically correct, and everybody’s so afraid to even talk or make a move.”

Vassar was disappointed because he knows “Bobbi With An I” has been a hit with his live audiences.

“We still do the song every night in the show and it (the crowd reaction) is off the hook,” he says.

The failure of “Bobbi With An I” as a single is hardly the first time Vassar has gone outside the usual country music box.

In fact, the native of Lynchburg, Va. began running into obstacles almost from the day he arrived in Nashville in the mid-1980s.

A main problem was he played piano, not guitar.

“I fought it forever,” Vassar says. “[Label people literally said] ‘Man, you need to put on starched jeans, a shirt and a hat and play guitar like everybody else does.’ I said, ‘I’m not going to do that because that is what everybody else does. Let them do it. I just want to be different.’ And of course, Nashville hates anything different. They’re scared of it.”

But after writing a number of hits for other artists, including “For A Little While” and “My Next Thirty Years” for Tim McGraw, Arista Nashville in 2000 took a chance on Vassar — piano and all — and the long quest for a record deal was over.

The label’s faith in Vassar was quickly rewarded when his 2000 self-titled debut CD sold more than a million copies and spawned four hit singles, including the chart-topper “Just Another Day In Paradise.”

Vassar hasn’t had that kind of success since. His next four albums had some singles (including another pair of chart-toppers), but they weren’t major hit CDs. He split with Arista and signed to Universal South prior to making his 2008 CD, Prayer of a Common Man. But rather than try even harder to fit in with the prevailing winds of country music, Vassar has decided to follow his own artistic instincts and let his individuality shine more brightly than ever.

“I got to a point where I said, you know, I’m just going to do what I do. I’m just going to have some fun,” he says.

That outlook is apparent with The Traveling Circus.

Vassar decided to produce the CD himself — a rarity in a country music. He also had his touring band

Friday, December 10 11am - 2pm 4545 Sioux Dr., Boulder One-stop, shop your heART out at our holiday market featuring an eclectic mix of talented local artists. This anticipated event offers hand-crafted, original treasures to make everyone’s ticker tock with glee A percentage of the sales goes to benefit special programs at Horizons K-8 School

Boulder Weekly

record the songs on The Traveling Circus instead of the usual approach of using studio musicians.

“I think the studio musicians are great, but they’re always playing on your record at 10, Faith Hill’s at 2, Tim McGraw’s at 6, and the next day they’re doing whoever, whoever, whoever,” Vassar says. “So you get the same producers, the same musicians. It all just sounds alike to me anymore. I just — I’m sick of it. I wanted to do something a little bit different and do it my own way and sink or swim, whatever.”

As for the music itself, Vassar is making some of the most personal music in Nashville. He wants to use songwriting as a way to explore and share his emotions, thoughts and opinions.

The personal dimension of The Traveling Circus is especially apparent on the ballads “Everywhere I Go” (also a single) and “A Year From Now.” Both songs relate to the upheaval that came with Vassar’s 2007 divorce and the process of regaining his emotional footing over the past couple of years.

“This album has been very cathartic,” says Vassar, who is now a single father of two daughters, Haley, 12, and Presley, 7. “I think folks that have heard these things go man, dude, you meant that. Yeah, I meant it.

I lived it, and I came out on the other side. And I’m ready to go to ‘Tequila Town.’”

“Tequila Town,” along with “Bobbi With An I” and “Save Tonight For Me” are among several cheerful upbeat songs on The Traveling Circus that give the CD a lighter dimension to go with the heavier material.

On tour, Vassar is taking the traveling circus theme a step further, bringing out his biggest concert production yet.

“I’ve got zebra leopard pianos. The guitar amps, bass amps and all that stuff are in cages,” Vassar says. “Coldplay did ‘Speed Of Sound,’ this big video, and they built this big light wall. … I got some of that wall through those guys.

So it’s really going to be exciting.”

Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com

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26 December 9, 2010

Boulder Weekly

Arts & Culture boulderweekly.com/artsculture

Performance soul in black and white

Lisa Siciliano’s rock photography on display at annual extravaganza

by Marisa Ware

W

hen Lisa Siciliano bought her neighbor’s A photo of Marilyn Manson by Lisa camera on a whim in Siciliano 2002, she had no idea that such a small decision would alter the course of her life.

“I always felt like this completely creative person that had no outlet,” Siciliano says. “I had never even thought of taking photos before. It definitely wasn’t my childhood dream; I had never taken a class. It just happened and it changed everything.”

Siciliano brought her new camera to shoot her husband’s band at the Fox Theatre, where she was a waitress.

Within a year of taking those first photos, Sicilano was hired by Red Rocks to be house photographer, jump-starting her unexpected career.

“It was a complete fluke,” Siciliano says. “I had have had the opposite effect. taken this one amazing photo of James Hetfield from “It’s made me a way better photographer to have Metallica, and when Red Rocks saw it they hired me to constantly prove myself,” Siciliano says. “It’s really on the spot. I had very little experience and had to made me be on top of my game. When I started, a lot teach myself while I was working.” of people didn’t take me seriously, and some still don’t.

Since then, Siciliano has shot hundreds of shows That’s why I carry my portfolio in my purse, so I can in her signature black-and-white style, making a name just whip it out and show the disbelievers.” for herself in the male-dominated world of rock ’n’ Siciliano will exhibit her work at George’s Food roll photography. She is currently the house photogra- and Drink on Dec. 10 as part of her fifth annual pher for Boulder Theater, Red Rocks and the Wells Rockin’ in a Winter Wonderland show. Seventy-five Fargo Center. of her distinct black-and-white photos will be on dis“There’s hardly any other women; it’s just a tough play, showcasing shots of such diverse musicians as field to get into,” Siciliano says. “I think women are B.B. King, Dolly Parton, Marilyn Manson, Iggy Pop just not as interested, and if they are they can get sort and Alicia Keys. Five bands — Statewide Emergency, of turned off really quickly by the roughness of it and A New Brain for Arnie, Bella’s Blues Band, Ibby the male group mentality.”

Cline and Ego Vs Id — will be performing throughAny resistance that Siciliano has met seems to out the night.

[

On the Bill

Rockin’ In A Winter Wonderland takes place at George’s Food & Drink on Friday, Dec. 10.

Doors at 6 p.m. Musical guests include Statewide Emergency, Ego Vs Id and Bella’s Blues Band. 2028 14th St., Boulder, 303-998-9350.

]

Lisa Siciliano

“People ask me all the time why I shoot in black and white and why I shoot film instead of digital. I don’t know — why doesn’t Led Zeppelin play hip-hop?” Siciliano says. “It’s just the look I’ve created and the look I like.”

Siciliano believes that the medium of film allows her to capture more depth in her photographs, but her preference for film goes beyond the aesthetic realm.

“I feel like shooting film makes me slow down a lot. I have to really pick and choose my shots, which you don’t have to do as much with digital. I’m not saying one is better than the other, but I do think that digital has made some people lose a bit of their compositional skills,” Siciliano says. “I shot Roger Waters at the Pepsi Center on my birthday and there was this photographer behind me that had his camera on machine gun mode, holding it over his head, shooting then looking, shooting then looking. If you’re just trying to get as much as you can and then go through it later to see if you got anything, it’s just not the same.”

Siciliano’s work speaks for itself, declaring the time and patience she employs to wait for the perfect shot. Her photos are striking studies of light and shadow, of movement and emotion, that simultaneously portray a sophistication of composition with the grittiness of rock ’n’ roll.

“When you’re shooting a concert, there’s only certain shots that are magical,” Siciliano says. “It only happens at certain times, but I always know right away when I get it. There’s that moment when you and the band and the light all connect; it’s an amazing feeling.”

Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com

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Boulder Weekly

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Thursday, Dec. 9

DRAFT HOUSE

music Annie Brooks. 7:30 p.m. Swallow Hill, 71 E.Yale Ave., Denver, 303-777-1003.

Bluegrass Pick. 9 p.m. D Note, 7519 Grandview Ave., Arvada, 303-463-6683.

Esther Sparks, Brent and Kate Jazz Duo. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder.

303-440-4628.

Hood Internet. 9 p.m. Fox Theatre, 1135 13th St., Boulder, 303-443-3399.

Live Jazz with George Nelson. 6:30 p.m.

Carelli’s Italian Restaurant, 645 30th St., Boulder, 303-938-9300.

Live Karaoke. 7:30 p.m. Nissi’s, 2675 N. Park Dr., Lafayette, 303-665-2757.

Morsoul. Conor O’Neill’s, 1922 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-1922.

Open Bluegrass Pick. 7 p.m. The Rock Inn, 1675 Hwy. 66, Estes Park, 970-586-4116.

Open Stage with Tommy and the Tangerines — Every Thursday night.

Catacombs, 2115 13th St., Boulder, 303-4424344.

Randall Dubis Band. 7:30 p.m. Boulder Outlook Hotel and Suites, 800 28th St., Boulder, 303-443-3322.

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7:30 p.m. Swallow Hill, 71 E. Yale Ave., Denver, 303-777-1003.

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$10 Pizza & Beer night monday, December 13

events

Dance. 7:15-8:30 p.m. Kakes Studios, 2115 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-786-7050, www. flamenco-boulder.com.

Lunchtime Healing Space — With Alan McAllister. 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. Whole Being Explorations, 1800 30th St., Boulder, 303-5455562.

Longmont Lights Holiday Festivities. 5-8 p.m.Various locations, Longmont, 303-776-6050.

Shepherd Valley Waldorf Classroom Tour.

8:30 a.m. 6500 Dry Creek Pkwy., Longmont, 303-652-0130.

Twisted Pine Brewing and Tap Room. 12-9 p.m. Twisted Pine Tap Room,

Beginning Flamenco Dance. 6:15-7:30 p.m.

Kakes Studios, 2115 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-7867050, www.flamenco-boulder.com.

Beginning/Intermediate Hoopdance.

9 a.m. Boulder Circus Center, 4747 26th St., Boulder, 303-918-6617.

CSS-Based Web Design. 6 p.m. Boulder Digital Arts, 1600 Range St., Boulder, 303-8750276.

Gindi Cafe Gay Night. Every Thursday night.

Gindi Cafe, 3601 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 720242-8961.

Intermediate to Advanced Flamenco

3201 Walnut St., Suite A, Boulder, 303-7869270.

Upslope Brewing Co. Tap Room and Tours. 4-8 p.m. Upslope Brewing Co., 1501 Lee Hill Rd., No. 20, Boulder, www.upslopebrewing.com.

Friday, Dec. 10

music Bluegrass Pick. 12 p.m. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids & Solids, 1555 S. Hover Rd., Longmont, 303-485-9400.

Chris Daniels & Friends. 8 p.m. Swallow Hill,

arts arts boulderweekly.com/panorama

Boulder/Denver Area BioLounge — Rotating exhibit of art and science. CU Museum, 1035 Broadway, Boulder, 303-492-6892.

Deutsch-Amerikanische Freundschaft — Drawings by Marc Brandenburg. Denver Art Museum, 100 W. 14th Ave., Denver, 720-865-5000.

Through Feb. 20.

Edits — Paintings by Stephen Batura.

Boulder Museum of Contemporary Art, 1750 13th St., Boulder, 303-443-2122.

Through Jan. 30.

Moments In Between — Paintings

by Barbara Shark. Boulder Museum of Contemporary Art, 1750 13th St., Boulder, 303-443-2122. Through Jan. 30.

Boulder Weekly

Light Leaks — Paintings by Isca Greenfield-Sanders. MCA Denver, 1485 Delgany St., Denver, 303-298-7554.

Through Jan. 9.

NCAR Community Art Program Gallery I — Collages by Gerda Rovetch. NCAR Mesa Laboratory, 1850 Table Mesa Dr., Boulder, 303-497-2408.

Through Dec. 31.

NCAR Community Art Program Gallery II — Paintings by Tina Will.

NCAR Mesa Laboratory, 1850 Table Mesa Dr., Boulder, 303-497-2408.

Through Jan. 30.

Shut Your Face Off! Mixed media by Donald Fodness & Alvin Gregorio.

Boulder Museum of Contemporary Art, 1750 13th St., Boulder, 303-443-2122.

Through Jan. 31.

Slides of a Changing Painting —

By Robert Gober. MCA Denver, 1485 Delgany St., Denver, 303-298-7554.

Through Jan. 16.

Swimming in Cola — Sculptures by Dewane Hughes. UMC Art Gallery, CU campus, 303-492-6161. Through Dec. 17.

Tutankhamun: The Golden King and the Great Pharaohs. Denver Art Museum, 100 W. 14th Ave., Denver, 720-865-5000. Through Jan. 9.

A Visual Alphabet: Herbert Bayer’s Anthology Paintings.

Denver Art Museum, 100 W. 14th Ave., Denver, 720-865-5000. Through Dec. 31.

$7 BEER & BURGER BEsT cAns in TOWn $2 DOmEsTic cAns $3 micROBREW cAns Tuesday, December 14 • 7:00pm

sAlsA niGhT Dance instructions 7:30 - 9:30pm Open Dance 9:30 till close

Wednesday, December 15 • 10:00pm

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December 9, 2010 29

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71 E.Yale Ave., Denver, 303-777-1003.

Christmas with Ars Nova: Winter Reflections. 7:30 p.m. First United Methodist Church, 1421 Spruce St., Boulder, www. arsnovasingers.com.

Coral Creek. Conor O’Neill’s, 1922 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-1922.

Dave McGraw. 8 p.m. Swallow Hill, 71 E.Yale Ave., Denver, 303-777-1003.

DJ Chonz and Friends. 10 p.m. D Note, 7519 Grandview Ave., Arvada, 303-463-6683.

Heidi and the Rhythm Rollers. 8 p.m. Oskar Blues Grill & Brew, 303 Main St., Lyons, 303-8236685.

Holy! Holy! Holy! 9 p.m. Astroland, 4415 N. Broadway, Boulder, www.myspace.com/ astrolandd.

Horse Feathers, Bella Karoli. 9 p.m. Fox Theatre, 1135 13th St., Boulder, 303-443-3399.

Hot Lunch. 7:30 p.m. Nissi’s, 2675 N. Park Dr., Lafayette, 303-665-2757.

James Hurtado. 5 p.m. D Note, 7519 Grandview Ave., Arvada, 303-463-6683.

Jeff Brinkman Band. 8 p.m. Boulder Theater, 2032 14th St., Boulder, 303-786-7030.

The Martian Acres Band. 7:30 p.m. Rock N Soul Cafe, 5290 Arapahoe Ave., Ste. I, Boulder, 303-443-5108.

Past Due. 8 p.m. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids & Solids, 1555 S. Hover Rd., Longmont, 303-485-9400.

Rocking In A Winter Wonderland: 5th Annual Rock Art Show and Sale — With live music by Statewide Emergency, Ego Vs Id, and more. 6 p.m. George’s located 2028 14th St, Boulder, 303-998-9350.

Ryne Doughty, Ali Greyson. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder. 303-4404628.

Selasee. 8 p.m. D Note, 7519 Grandview Ave.,

Arvada, 303-463-6683.

Todd Tijerina Band. 8 p.m. Boulder Outlook Hotel and Suites, 800 28th St., Boulder, 303-4433322.

The Zimmermans. 10 p.m. Boulder Draft House, 2027 13th St., Boulder, 303-440-5858.

events 3 Steps Back — Children’s theatre. Boulder’s Dinner Theatre, 5501 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303-449-6000.

Adobe Flash Hands-On Intensive. 9 a.m.

Boulder Digital Arts, 1600 Range St., Boulder, 303-875-0276.

The Boulder Filmmaking Incubator. 6 p.m.

Boulder Digital Arts, 1600 Range St., Boulder, 303-875-0276.

The Boulder Holiday Gift Festival. 12-8 p.m.

902 Pearl St., Boulder, 720-272-SHOP. Carla Morrison Fine Jewelry Trunk Show.

5-9 p.m. Design Within Reach, 2049 Broadway, Boulder, 720-564-1234.

A Christmas Story. Longmont Theatre Company, 513 Main St., Longmont, 303-7725200.

Christmas in Ireland with Danú. 7:30 p.m.

Macky Auditorium, CU campus, 303-492-8008.

Holiday Trunk Show — Featuring a juried selection of locally made goods. 5-10 p.m.

Boulder Museum of Contemporary Art, 1750 13th St,, Boulder, 303-443-2122.

The Nutcracker — Presented by Ballet Nouveau Colorado. Performing Arts Complex at PCS, 1001 W. 84th Ave., Denver, 303-4503985.

PLAN-Boulder County — The state of news media in Boulder. 12 p.m. Boulder Public Library, 1000 Canyon Blvd., Boulder, 303-4413100.

Salsa Dancing. 10:30 p.m. Trattoria on Pearl,

Boulder Weekly

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theater A Christmas Carol — Presented by Colorado Shakespeare Festival. University Theatre, CU campus, 303-4920554. Through Dec. 24.

Hello Dolly! Boulder’s Dinner Theatre, 5501 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303-449-6000. Through Feb 26, 2011.

Jacob Marley’s Christmas Carol — Presented by OpenStage Theatre. Art Lab, 239 Linden St., Fort Collins, 970-2216730. Through Dec. 19.

The Nutcracker — Presented

1430 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-544-0008.

Saturday, Dec. 11

music Acoustic Brunch. 10 a.m. Rock N Soul Cafe, 5290 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303-4435108.

The Batches,The Gullbeats. 7:30 p.m. Rock N Soul Cafe, 5290 Arapahoe Ave., Ste. I, Boulder, 303-443-5108.

Beth Nielsen Chapman. 8 p.m. Swallow Hill, 71 E.Yale Ave., Denver, 303-777-1003.

The Big Motif. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids & Solids, 1555 S. Hover Rd., Longmont, 303-485-9400.

Bluegrass Pick. 12 p.m. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids & Solids, 1555 S. Hover Rd., Longmont, 303-485-9400.

Bluezhouse. 7:30 p.m. Nissi’s, 2675 N. Park Dr., Lafayette, 303-665-2757.

Gemini Trajectory. 9 p.m. Astroland, 4415 N. Broadway, Boulder, www.myspace.com/ astrolandd.

Honey Don’t, Swing State. Rogers Hall, 4th and High Streets, Lyons, 303-823-6433.

Ironwood Rain. 6 p.m. D Note, 7519 Grandview Ave., Arvada, 303-463-6683.

Jababa. Conor O’Neill’s, 1922 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-1922.

James and the Devil, Hot Cheeze Soup, Denver Creative Movement. 9 p.m. D Note, 7519 Grandview Ave., Arvada, 303-463-6683.

JP Soars. 8 p.m. Boulder Outlook Hotel and Suites, 800 28th St., Boulder, 303-443-3322.

Longmont Chorale Presents: My Spirit Rejoices. 7:30 p.m. Niwot High School, 8989 Niwot Rd., Longmont, 303-651-7664.

The Long Road Home. Oskar Blues Grill & Brew, 303 Main St., Lyons, 303-823-6685.

Mojo Mama. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids & Solids, 1555 S. Hover Rd., Longmont, 303-4859400.

Olde Town Swing Duo. 8 p.m. Swallow Hill, 71 E.Yale Ave., Denver, 303-777-1003.

Strangebyrds. 8 p.m. Caffe Sole, 637 S. Broadway, Boulder, 303-499-2985.

Taylor Marvin. 6 p.m. Boulder Outlook Hotel

Boulder Weekly

by Ballet Nouveau Colorado.

Performing Arts Complex at PCS, 1001 W. 84th Ave., Denver, 303450-3985. Through Dec. 19.

The SantaLand Diaries — Presented by Boulder Ensemble Theatre Company. The Dairy Center for the Arts, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826.

Through Dec. 23.

Vox Feminista’s Live From Planet Earth: Uh Oh! Nomad Theatre, 1410 Quince Ave., Boulder, 303-443-7510. Through Dec. 11.

and Suites, 800 28th St., Boulder, 303-443-3322.

Thomas White, FOMA. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder. 303-440-4628.

Todd Snider & Great American Taxi — 8th Annual Mark Vann Foundation Holiday Benefit Show. 8 p.m. Boulder Theater, 2032 14th St., Boulder, 303-786-7030.

Tribute to Ween — With Hot Soup, Harmonious Junk. 9 p.m. Fox Theatre, 1135 13th St., Boulder, 303-443-3399.

events 2010 Peacemaker of the Year Event.

4-9 p.m. Unitarian Universalist Church, 5001 Pennsylvania Ave., Boulder, 303-444-6981.

3 Steps Back — Children’s theatre.

Boulder’s Dinner Theatre, 5501 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303-449-6000.

Adobe Illustrator Hands-On Intensive. 9 a.m. Boulder Digital Arts, 1600 Range St., Boulder, 303-875-0276.

Beginning/Intermediate Hoopdance. 10 a.m. Kakes Studio, 2115 Pearl St., Boulder, 303918-6617.

Gingerbread Tea. 12 p.m. St. Julien Hotel, 900 Walnut St., Boulder, 720-406-9696.

Astronomical Star of Bethlehem. 2 p.m.

Fiske Planetarium, CU campus, 303-492-5001.

The Boulder Holiday Gift Festival. 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. 902 Pearl St., Boulder, 720-272-SHOP. A Christmas Story. Longmont Theatre Company, 513 Main St., Longmont, 303-7725200.

The Frame of Mind — Presented by Unity Stage. 7:30 p.m. Unity Church, 2855 Folsom St., Boulder, 303-681-7829.

Gingerbread Tea. 12 p.m. St. Julien Hotel, 900 Walnut St., Boulder, 720-406-9696.

Hello Dolly! 6:15 p.m. Boulder’s Dinner Theatre, 5501 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303-449-6000.

Holiday Bazaar Tea. 12-1:30 p.m. Hotel Boulderado, 2115 13th St., Boulder, 303-4424344.

Holiday Trunk Show — Juried selection of locally made goods. 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Boulder Museum of Contemporary Art, 1750 13th St,, Boulder, 303-443-2122.

Jerry Funk’s 14er Fan Club. 1 p.m. Borders

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December 9, 2010 35

panorama

An amazing evening of live musical performances from our secret guests.

A rare public performance at the Odd Fellows Lodge.

12/9 Details at kgnu.org

boulderweekly.com/panorama

Bookstore, 1750 29th St., Boulder, www.14erfanclub.com.

Lafayette Skate Park Grand Opening.

Bob L. Burger Recreation Center, 111 W. Baseline Rd., Lafayette, 303-665-0469.

Living Lights: Illuminating Small Wonders.

5:30 p.m. Butterfly Pavilion, 6252 W. 104th Ave. Westminster, 303-469-5441.Through Dec. 19.

Longmont Lights Holiday Parade. 5-8 p.m.

Main Street, Longmont, 303-776-6050.

Making Merry in Boulder — Presented by Stories on Stage. 2 p.m. The Dairy Center for the Arts, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826.

The Nutcracker — Presented by Ballet Nouveau Colorado. Performing Arts Complex at PCS, 1001 W. 84th Ave., Denver, 303-450-3985.

St. Nick on the Bricks. 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. 13th and Pearl Streets, Boulder, 303-449-3774.

Sunday, Dec. 12

music 10th Anniversary Production of the Christmas Revels. 2 & 7 p.m. Boulder Theater, 2032 14th St., Boulder, 303-786-7030.

2011 Freedom Referendum Celebration — Presented by Community of Sudanese & American Women/Men. 4 p.m.

Boulder Broker Inn, 555 30th St., Boulder, www.csawcolorado.org.

Acoustic Jam. 11 a.m. D Note, 7519 Grandview Ave., Arvada, 303-463-6683.

Blues Jam — With Lionel Young. 7:30 p.m.

Boulder Outlook Hotel and Suites, 800 28th St., Boulder, 303-443-3322.

Felonius Smith. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids & Solids, 1555 S. Hover Rd., Longmont, 303-485-9400.

Go Go Lab. 10 p.m. Mountain Sun Pub, 1535 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-546-0886.

Halden Wofford and the Hi-Beams. Oskar Blues Grill & Brew, 303 Main St., Lyons, 303-8236685.

John Adams. 7:30 p.m. Nissi’s, 2675 N. Park Dr., Lafayette, 303-665-2757.

Mellow Cello Sunday Brunch. 11 a.m. D Note, 7519 Grandview Ave., Arvada, 303-4636683.

Patrick Dethlefs, Abby Ahmad, Kendra Current. 8:15 p.m. The Laughing Goat, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder. 303-440-4628.

Peace Concert with Julie Davis. 7 p.m.

Swallow Hill, 71 E.Yale Ave., Denver, 303-7771003.

events Beginning Hawaiian Hula Class. 7:15 p.m. Boulder Ballet Studio, The Dairy Center for the Arts, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303447-9772.

Polar Express. 8 p.m. St. Julien Hotel, 900 Walnut St., Boulder, 720-406-9696.

Continuing Hawaiian Hula Class. 5:30 p.m. Boulder Ballet Studio, The Dairy Center for the Arts, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303447-9772.

Free Open House. 10:30 a.m. to 12 p.m.

Boulder Shambhala Meditation Center, 1345 Spruce St., Boulder, 303-444-0190.

Gingerbread Tea. 12 p.m. St. Julien Hotel, 900 Walnut St., Boulder, 720-406-9696.

Planetary Healing and Harmony Teleclass — Teachings and meditation. 8 a.m.

For more information, call 720-301-3993.

The Boulder Holiday Gift Festival. 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. 902 Pearl St., Boulder, 720-272-SHOP.

36 December 9, 2010

boulderweekly.com/panorama

words Thursday, Dec. 9

Monday, Dec. 13

David Abram’s Becoming Animal.

7:30 p.m. Boulder Book Store, 1107 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-447-2074.

DCTC at the TC. 12:30 p.m Tattered Cover Book Store, 1628 16th St., Denver, 303-436-1070.

Rocky Mountain Land Series with Peter McBride — The Colorado River: Flowing Through Conflict. 7:30 p.m. Tattered Cover Book Store, 1628 16th St., Denver, 303-4361070.

12th Annual Holiday Reading. 7 p.m. Tattered Cover Book Store, 1628 16th St., Denver, 303-436-1070.

“So You’re a Poet” — Open mic poetry. The Laughing Goat, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628.

A Christmas Story. Longmont Theatre Company, 513 Main St., Longmont, 303-772-5200.

Gingerbread Tea. 2 p.m. St. Julien Hotel, 900 Walnut St., Boulder, 720-406-9696.

Nutcracker Tea. 12-1:30 p.m Hotel Boulderado, 2115 13th St., Boulder, 303-4424344.

The Nutcracker — Presented by Ballet Nouveau Colorado. Performing Arts Complex at PCS, 1001 W. 84th Ave., Denver, 303-450-3985.

The Polar Express. 8 p.m. St. Julien Hotel, 900 Walnut St., Boulder, 720-406-9696.

Monday, Dec. 13

music Electric Blues Jam. 8 p.m. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids & Solids, 1555 S. Hover Rd., Longmont, 303-485-9400.

Jay Ryan’s BigTop — Open stage. 7 p.m. D Note, 7519 Grandview Ave.,Arvada, 303-463-6683.

Kelly Triplett. 5:30 p.m. D Note, 7519 Grandview Ave., Arvada, 303-463-6683.

Lyons High School Jazz Band. Oskar Blues Grill & Brew, 303 Main St., Lyons, 303-823-6685.

Open Mic. 7 p.m. Rock N Soul Café, 5290 Arapahoe Ave., Suite 1, Boulder, 303-443-5108.

events Boulder County Alcoholics Anonymous — Happy hour group. 5:30 p.m.

5375 Western Ave., Boulder, www.

BoulderCountyAA.org.

Desiderata School Open House. 7 p.m.

Mr. Bean’s Coffee Shop, 1844 Hover St., Longmont, 303-678-9335.

Free Open Class — Not Too Tight, Not Too Loose. 7-9 p.m. Boulder Shambhala Meditation Center, 1345 Spruce St., Boulder, 303-444-0190.

Green Screen Video Techniques. 6 p.m. Boulder Digital Arts, 1600 Range St., Boulder, 303-875-0276.

Magical Mexican Mondays — With live magic by Erica Sodos. Juanita’s Mexican Food, 1043 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-449-5273.

Scrooge. The Jesters Dinner Theatre, 224 Main Street, Longmont, 303-682-9980. Through Dec. 24.

Tuesday, Dec. 14 Active Minds Presentation: Chocolate. 12:30 p.m. Tattered Cover Book Store, 9315 Dorchester St., Highlands Ranch, 03-470-7050.

Tuesday, Dec. 14

music Bonnie Lowdermilk. 6:30 p.m. Treppeda’s Italian Ristorante, 300 2nd Ave., Niwot, 303-6521606.

Clusterpluck — 9 p.m. Open jam. George’s

Food & Drink, 2028 14th St., Boulder, 303998-9350.

Jazz Night with Supercollider. 8:30 p.m. The Laughing Goat, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder. 303-4404628.

Open Mic — With Danny Shafer. 8 p.m./7 p.m. sign-up. Conor O’Neills, 1922 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-1922.

Weekly Bluegrass Pick — All levels welcome. 8-11 p.m. Oskar Blues, 303 Main St., Lyons, 303-823-6685.

events

Boulder Conversations with Extraordinary People: Jean Dubofsky.

5:30 p.m. Chautauqua Auditorium, 900 Baseline Rd., Boulder, 303-442-3282.

Boulder Improv Jam Association — Public dance jam every Tuesday. 7:30-10:30 p.m.The Avalon Ballroom, 6185 Arapahoe Rd., Boulder, 720-934-2028.

Flamenco Dance Technique. 5:50 p.m.

Kakes Studios, 2115 Pearl St., Boulder, 303786-7050, www.flamenco-boulder.com.

Geeks Who Drink Pub Quiz. 7:30 p.m.

Harpo’s Sports Bar, 2860 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303-444-9464.

Healing Space — With Alan McAllister. 4 p.m. Whole Being Explorations, 1800 30th St., Boulder, 303-545-5562.

Open Mic Poetry and Music — Hosted

by Rob Geisen and Olatundji Akpo-Sani. 8 p.m.

The No-Name Bar, 1325 Broadway, Boulder.

Salsa Night — Lessons and open dance. 7 p.m. Boulder Draft House, 2027 13th St., Boulder, 303-440-5858.

Using Your Flash Creatively. 6 p.m.

Boulder Digital Arts, 1600 Range St., Boulder, 303-875-0276.

Wednesday, Dec. 15 Boulder Weekly

weekly events!

Wednesday Karaoke Thursday Night Open Mic Open Band Night on Sunday

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HAPPY HOUR - 7pm to 9pm

Upcoming events!

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novus folium w/special guests 300 Main St. Longmont 303-834-9384 All shows $5 unless noted Advance tickets available at The Opera House or Dickens Tavern www.dickensoperahouse.com Boulder Weekly

December 9, 2010 37

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panorama boulderweekly.com/panorama

music Ben Hanna, Cowgirl Radio. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder. 303440-4628.

Bluegrass Pick. 6:30 p.m. Oskar Blues Tasty Weasel Tap Room, 1800 Pike Rd., Unit B, Longmont, 303-776-1914.

The Clamdaddys Transcendental Blues Jam. 7:30 p.m. D Note, 7519 Grandview Ave., Arvada, 303-463-6683.

COMBO Showcase. 7:30 p.m. Rock N Soul Cafe, 5290 Arapahoe Ave., Ste. I, Boulder, 303443-5108.

Face Holiday Show. 7 p.m. Boulder Theater, 2032 14th St., Boulder, 303-786-7030.

Kamikaze Karaoke Gong Show. 9 p.m.

Juanita’s Mexican Food, 1043 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-449-5273.

KT Homes. 6:30 p.m. Rock N Soul Cafe, 5290 Arapahoe Ave., Ste. I, Boulder, 303-4435108.

Nelson Rangell. 7:30 p.m. Nissi’s, 2675 N. Park Dr., Lafayette, 303-665-2757.

Open Stage. 8 p.m. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids & Solids, 1555 S. Hover Rd., Longmont, 303-485-9400.

Selasee and the Fa Fa Family. 10 p.m.

Boulder Draft House, 2027 13th St., Boulder, 303-440-5858.

events Aesthetics of Editing. 6 p.m. Boulder Digital Arts, 1600 Range St., Boulder, 303-8750276.

Boulder Library Film Program — Deaf.

6 p.m. Boulder Public Library, George Reynolds Branch, 3595 Table Mesa Dr., 303-441-3120.

Chautauqua Silent Film Series — Big Business and The Gold Rush. 7:30 p.m .

Chautauqua Auditorium, 900 Baseline Rd., Boulder, 303-442-3282.

Compulsive Eaters AnonymousHOW. 6 p.m. Community United Church of Christ, 2650 Table Mesa Dr., Boulder, 970-5564740.

Just Sit. 7 to 9 p.m. Boulder Shambhala Meditation Center, 1345 Spruce St., Boulder, 303-444-0190.

Tea, Talks,Transformation — With Linda Lawson. 6:30 p.m. Boulder. For location, call 720-301-3993.

Vajrayana Buddhist Meditation. 7 p.m.

Mipham Shedra, 2860 Bluff St., Boulder, 303449-0319.

Hello Dolly! 5:30 p.m. Boulder’s Dinner Theatre, 5501 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303449-6000.

Holidays with Hosea. 6 p.m. Jax Fish House, 928 Pearl St, Boulder, 303-444-1811.

Kids’ Calendar Thursday, Dec. 9 Drop-in Storytime. 10:15 a.m. Erie Community Library, 400 Powers St., Erie, 720685-5200.

So Rim Kung Fu for Children. 4:30 to 5:30 p.m. A Place to B Studio, 1750 30th St., Boulder, 303-440-8007.

Friday, Dec. 10 Children’s Storytime. 10:15 a.m.

Boulder Public Library, 1000 Canyon Blvd.,

38 December 9, 2010

Boulder, 303-441-3100.

Preschool Storytime. 10:15 a.m. Erie Community Library, 400 Powers St., Erie, 720-685-5200.

Saturday, Dec. 11 Children’s Storytime. 10:15 a.m. Boulder Public Library, 1000 Canyon Blvd., Boulder, 303-441-3100.

GrandCamp Adventures Grand Opening — With storytelling, refreshments and more. 2-5 p.m. 2632 Broadway, Boulder, 303-444-0294.

Sunday, Dec. 12 Baby Boogie — Bring kids to dance. 2 p.m.

D Note, 7519 Grandview Ave., Arvada, 303463-6683.

Children’s Storytime. 10:15 a.m. Boulder Public Library, 1000 Canyon Blvd., Boulder, 303-441-3100.

Go Club — Learn to play the game known as Go. 2 p.m. Boulder Public Library, 1000 Canyon Blvd., Boulder, 303-441-3100.

Monday, Dec. 13 Children’s Storytime. 10:15 p.m.

Boulder Public Library, 1000 Canyon Blvd., Boulder, 303-441-3100.

Rise & Shine Storytime. 9:30 a.m.

Barnes & Noble, Crossroads Commons, 2999 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-444-0349.

Tuesday, Dec. 14 Children’s Storytime. 10:15 a.m. Boulder Public Library, 1000 Canyon Blvd., Boulder, 303-441-3100.

Drop-in Storytime. 4 p.m. Erie Community Library, 400 Powers St., Erie, 720685-5200.

Storytime for Children. 10:15 a.m.

Boulder Public Library, George Reynolds Branch, 3595 Table Mesa Dr., Boulder, 303441-3120.

Teen Game Night. 3 p.m. Boulder Public Library, 1000 Canyon Blvd., Boulder, 303-4413100.

Wednesday, Dec. 15 Children’s Storytime. 10:15 a.m. Boulder Public Library, 1000 Canyon Blvd., Boulder, 303-441-3100.

So Rim Kung Fu for Children. 4:30 to 5:30 p.m. A Place to B Studio, 1750 30th St., Boulder, 303-440-8007.

See full Panorama listings online

[ ] Panorama

To have an event considered for the calendar, send information to buzz@boulderweekly. com or Boulder Weekly’s Calendar, 690 S. Lashley Lane, Boulder, 80305. Please be sure to include address, date, time and phone number associated with each event. The deadline is Thursday at noon the week prior to publication for consideration. Boulder Weekly does not guarantee the publication of any event.

Boulder Weekly

Seasons Greetings

SophisticatedSex

boulderweekly.com/sophisticatedsex

Name your penis

by Dr. Jenni Skyler Dear Dr. Jenni, My boyfriend feels insecure that his penis is too small. I think it’s completely fine, but he won’t listen to me. Do most men worry about their penis being too small? Is there any way to reassure him?

Curious College Student

and strong vagina to prevent thinning and cracking.

While it is quite difficult to thicken the vaginal wall, you can strengthen what you do have. Think of the guy in the gym who really wants huge biceps.

His body may be long and lean, but he won’t be able to actually build a huge bicep (except with steroids maybe).

Dear CCS, However, if he properly strengthens Yes. All men worry about their what he has, he can still pump an penis size — at least at some point in amount of weight similar to the guy next their lives. Your boyfriend sounds like to him with biceps the size of his head. he is constantly concerned that there Luckily, vaginal weight-lifting will always be someone who might out- doesn’t require large dumbbells, but size him. While your reassurance and rather endurance-oriented strength external validation training with daily Questions are excellent for kegel exercises and him, he also needs frequent use. There Send questions for Jenni is the old adage if to make friends Skyler to drjenni@ you don’t use it, with his penis so theintimacyinstitute.org. you’ll lose it. The that he can intertruth here is that nally validate how strength and elashe feels. ticity don’t occur without effort. If you Developing a relationship with a left your leg in a cast for the rest of body part (or parts) that we don’t like is your life, if would atrophy and lose its enormously difficult in our American muscle tone and elasticity.

You can culture; however, doing so may be the enlist your partner to help you here by biggest gift we can give ourselves. You may want to help him personify his exercising your vaginal walls while also penis so that it’s almost like a third per- pleasuring you with his or her fingers, son in the bedroom. You can ask your tongue, toys or penis. If you don’t have boyfriend if his penis has a name, and a partner, then take up the sport of selfthen invite him to the bedroom to parpleasure. And no matter if you are solo ticipate in your sexual activities. You or partnered, make sure you keep up can say things like, “Are you two ready your daily kegel exercises. for an evening of pleasure?” Or, “Mr. As for keeping your vagina lubricatPenis, how do you like me to touch ed, consider a long-lasting lubricant, you?” Again, making friends with those like Replens, specifically designed for less-liked body parts helps us move women post-menopause. Keep in mind towards a place of greater acceptance. that removing the uterus and/or ovaries leaves women bereft of numerous horDear Dr. Jenni, mones, particularly estrogen. Thus, I had a hysterectomy four years ago. many choose to use hormone replaceSince then, my vaginal lining has defiment therapies (HRT), which can cernitely lost her luster for the thrusttainly help sustain elasticity and lubricaer. I’ve tried a ton of pharmaceutical tion in the vaginal walls. Other women compound creams with applications, adopt a more natural path and forgo the but they are so messy. Is there any way HRT, choosing natural supplements to thicken my walls? Any other tips for and/or bioidentical hormones. keeping my vagina ready and robust?

Either way, sustaining elasticity, Wondering Wonder Woman strength and lubrication will help your thinner vaginal walls stay in great shape Dear WWW, — literally!

You seem like such a brave and outSend questions for Jenni Skyler, PhD, going soul! Menopause, whether natuto drjenni@theintimacyinstitute.org. rally occurring, or surgically induced as Skyler is a sex therapist and board-certiyou have experienced, may cause thinfied sexologist who runs The Intimacy ning in the vaginal lining. Thus, your Institute in Boulder, www.theintimacyingoal is to maintain an elastic, lubricated stitute.org.

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Thursday, Dec. 9

Fifty Classic Ski Descents of North America. 8 p.m. Neptune Mountaineering, 633 S. Broadway Suite A, Boulder, 303-4998866.

Saturday, Dec. 11 Boulder Cycling Club Saturday Morning Road Bike Ride. 10:30 a.m. Bicycle Village, 2100 28th St., # B-C, Boulder, 303-875-2241.

Sunday, Dec. 12 Boulder Road Runners Sunday Group Run. 9 a.m. Meet at First National Bank, 3033 Iris Ave., Boulder, www.boulderroadrunners.org.

Monday, Dec. 13 Ladies Bike Mechanics 101.

5:30-6:30 a.m. Community Cycles, 2805 Wilderness Pl., Ste. 1000, Boulder, 720565-6019.

Tuesday, Dec. 14 Ethiopia: Crossroads Of Africa.

7 p.m. Changes in Latitude Travel Store, 2525 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303-7868406.

Youth “Earn-a-Bike” Program.

5:30-7:30 p.m. Community Cycles, 2805 Wilderness Pl., Boulder, 720-5656019.

Get in step with

snowshoeing

by James Dziezynski

rp.boulder.weekly.ultimatum.pdf

1

8/22/10

11:48 AM

T

he human foot is poorly designed for travel through deep snow. Just ask anyone who has spent a frustrating afternoon plunging through waist-high powder.

Inspired by Mother Nature’s best adaptations, such as the snowshoe hare’s oversized hind feet, humankind developed the first snowshoes roughly 6,000 years ago, and we’ve been merrily making our oversized tracks in the snow ever since.

Snowshoes not only open up a vast world of wintery wonders, they are a great way to get a solid workout in the process.

Types of snowshoes Most modern snowshoes consist of a metal or plastic frame that has a tough decking material and flexible foot binding with a crampon (or claws) on the bottom. Traditional snowshoes were

Wednesday, Dec. 15 Avalanche Clinic. 8 p.m. Neptune Mountaineering, 633 S. Broadway Suite A, Boulder, 303-499-8866.

Beacon Practice — Bring your own beacon to practice for backcountry emergencies. 6 p.m. Neptune Mountaineering, 633 S. Broadway Suite A, Boulder, 303-499-8866.

Pearl Street Runners. Meet at 6:15 p.m. for 5k run. Conor O’Neill’s, 1922 13th St., Boulder. www.pearlstreetrunners.com.

To list your event, send information to: editorial@boulderweekly.com. attn: “Elevation.”

ultimatum

To Find This Deal & Dealers Go To:

www.e-rudy.com Boulder Weekly

December 9, 2010 41

made from wooden oval frames with crosshatch bracings. As shoes evolved to be faster and lighter, a teardrop shape with an extended tail allowed for greater maneuverability for hunters and fur trappers. Adding in high-strength components and metal frames allowed snowshoes to be mass produced (though perhaps not as aesthetically pleasing as the classic wooden shoe).

Nowadays, snowshoes are categorized roughly by four main types: racing, recreational, backcountry and expedition. Racing snowshoes are smaller shoes specialized for running on pre-packed courses. The foot bindings are very light or non-existent; highend racing snowshoes will bolt directly into a special racing boot. The most common snowshoe is the recreational variety, designed to perform well both on and off the trail.

Hikers select their snowshoes based on their weight (pack and gear included, of course) and what type of binding system they prefer. Recreational shoes are great for most types of Colorado adventures.

Backcountry snowshoes are similar to recreational shoes but employ more aggressive spiked cleats and contoured designs (for example, a teardrop-shaped shoe will be less obtrusive through tight woods and allow for a natural stride).

Finally, expedition snowshoes are mammoth pieces of footwear that almost always ovalshaped for maximum float. They are made to be ultra durable, tough and ready to be worn into the deepest parts of the backcountry while carrying heavy pack weight.

What shoe to get depends on your outdoor goals. Obviously, racing shoes are specialized for just that. For on-trail adventures with the occasional off-trail excursion or hut trip, recreational shoes will be just fine. Backcountry shoes are just as good for the terrain recreational shoes cover, but also excel at steeper climbs and more arduous outings (they are also usually more expensive).

Expedition shoes are great if you want to spend a month in the woods tracking the Yeti.

The local snowshoe

G

o local with Crescent Moon Snowshoes.

If you are in the market for great snowshoes and want to buy locally, check out Crescent Moon Snowshoes, which are handmade right here in Boulder. Co-founder and president Jake Thamm has taken his passion for adventure and used his insights to engineer some of the highest quality shoes on the market. Crescent Moon snowshoes have arguably the most secure, ergonomic and easy-to-use foot bindings of any brand available. Add to that they are tough, stylish and come with a great warranty.

Crescent Moon snowshoes are available at most major outdoors stores, or you can visit them online at www. crescentmoonsnowshoes.com.

Other considerations One feature of snowshoes worth looking into is fixed versus rotating bindings. A rotating binding allows the shoe to hang on an axle, meaning you will be able to step more naturally but sacrifice some control and maneuverability. A fixed binding is more secure on the foot for more control but has the side effect of throwing a lot of snow up on your backside and pack when you are hiking.

Poles are a good investment for snowshoe enthusiasts, not only for balance but to check snow depth. You don’t need super-fancy poles but optional snow baskets on the end of your poles can be helpful.

Finally, if you’re going into avalanche terrain, an

avalanche beacon (and knowledge on how to use it) is a good idea.

Where to go The Boulder area has tons of fantastic snowshoeing opportunities within an hour of town. The Hessie Trailhead out of the little town of Eldora and Moffat Tunnel out of Rollinsville are great options. Lost Lake from Hessie is a classic destination that is good for all experience levels. The Brainard Lake area is also chock full of trails, though recent dog regulations might put a damper on your day out if you want to bring along Rover. Twin Sisters Peaks out of Estes Park are 11,000-foot-plus summits that are mostly in tree line if you want to snowshoe up to a summit. And one more: Herman Gulch off of I-70 just east of the Loveland Pass exit is a beautiful area that quickly gets away from the rush of traffic and offers great mountain views and the frozen allure of Herman Lake.

Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com

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cuisine boulderweekly.com/cuisine

Kitchen gifts: Little things that do a lot

T

by Russ Parsons

T

here are two ways to gift shop for a cook. You can drop a wad on a spectacular piece of equipment that will get used three or four times a year and sit in the pantry the rest of the time. Or you can convert a relatively small amount of money into a potful of tools that will get used on a daily basis. While I know that a $500 home sousvide machine is going to get a lot of oohs and aahs come Christmas morning, I can’t help but wonder whether it’s the convenience of having a lot of the small tools around that will be appreciated more in the long run.

With that in mind, I wandered over to the closest kitchen-supply store to see what I could find. These might not be the big-ticket blowout items that will be the centerpiece of your holiday gift-giving, but for very little money, you can certainly fill the stockings of cooks near and dear with essentials that will get used over and over and last a lifetime.

Here are a dozen of my favorites, all costing less than $10 (and most of them less than $5).

Metal bowl, $4.99 You simply can’t have too many of these. Use them for mixing batters, tossing salads, whipping cream, making mayonnaise or marinating meat. They wash up easily and they’re nearly indestructible.

Ideally, you’ll want the sturdiest ones you can find, but

Boulder Weekly

Bench knife, $1.49 This is a tool very few home cooks seem to have in their kits. But if you work with dough, you’ll find it incredibly useful, whether it’s for scraping a work surface clean, cutting a mass of bread dough in half, neatly dividing bar cookies or slicing up logs of cookie dough. I even sometimes use mine to transport chopped vegetables from the cutting board to the stovetop.

Tongs, $1.39

honestly, I’ve got a couple cheapies that I’ve been banging around for nearly 20 years and they haven’t given up yet.

Fish spatula, $3.19 Maybe it’s a little thing, but have you ever noticed how normal frying spatulas always seem a little clunky to handle? A fish spatula is built to work from an angle rather than head-on. It’s also thinner and lighter, which makes it better suited for handling delicate filets (hence the name). But they’re by no means good only for seafood; they work just as well with eggs, crepes or just about anything fragile that needs turning.

This is another one of those items that any good cook is going to want to have in multiples. They can be used for so many different things: tossing salads, turning meat and vegetables while they’re cooking, flipping steaks on the grill.

It’s also a good idea to buy them in several lengths (long ones are even better for working over a fire).

Offset spatula, $1.99 Technically, I suppose, these are intended as icing spatulas — the bend in the blade makes it easier to spread frosting evenly. But you’ll probably find that you quickly start using them for many other things.

They let you maneuver in tight spots, which means they work great for flipping pancakes, which always see GIFTS Page 49

December 9, 2010 45

CELEBRATING OUR 11th ANNIVERSARY Sat. Dec.11th - Sat. Dec.18th

Thank You Boulder!

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All You Can Eat Sushi Tuesdays 5:00 - 10:00 pm • $29.95 per person

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1136 Pearl St., Boulder • 303.938.0330 • www.boulderjapango.com 46 December 9, 2010

Boulder Weekly

cuisine review boulderweekly.com/restaurantreview

Niwot’s gourmet pizzeria delivers

by Clay Fong

TT

[

]

Lefty’s Gourment Pizza and Ice Cream 364 2nd Ave., Niwot 303-652-3100

his is the sort of place you’d sisting of pepperoni, ham, sausage and find in the Northeast,” bacon. declared Kurt, a Massachusetts Medical professional Kurt avoided this transplant, as we took our selection, opting instead for a 12-inch seats inside Lefty’s Gourmet Sarah’s Special pie for $14.50, a decidedly Pizza and Ice Cream. We had been bicyBoulder County choice. Topped with garlic cling for the last few hours on the back and olive oil sauce, chicken, broccoli, roads north of Boulder when this homey tomatoes and basil, this was lighter and Niwot eatery beckoned. Lefty’s is housed healthier than your typical sauce-pepperoin a quaint vintage cottage perfumed with ni-and-cheese option. Built on a slightly a pungent but pleasing garlic aroma, an bready but nicely thin crust, each ingrediambience that Kurt deemed typical of the ent stood out on its own with clean flavor pizza parlors of his youth. and texture. The broccoli was crisp-tender, The resemblance to New England with the chicken complementing the more establishments also extends to the menu. pungent qualities of garlic and basil.

The bill of fare here consists of the expectSeeking carb replenishment, my entrée ed pizza, as well as subs, calzones and pasta was a modestly sized $6.50 plate of spaplates, including the requisite baked ziti. ghetti, meatballs and garlic bread. While it The salads range from a basic garden to a looked a bit on the smallish side at first, protein-rich chicken and bacon, loaded up this dish nevertheless satisfied my hunger. with cheddar, onions, cucumbers, mushThe ribbon shape of the spaghetti was rooms, red peppers and tomato. For dessert, softer than a rounder version would have there’s Boulder brand ice cream available in been, but the full-bodied and tangy maripints and cones, and, perhaps most imporefty’s features one of my favorite pizza toppings, the love-itnara hit the spot. While the meatballs tantly, in the form of shakes, sundaes and or-hate-it anchovy. But how did the anchovy, which genercould have done with less salt, they still malts. ally doesn’t appear elsewhere in American cooking, become had the pleasantly complex flavor that only Kurt methodically pointed out the sub- a pie staple? Most consider Naples the ancestral home of comes from having a balanced mixture of tle but telling differences between Lefty’s pizza, and this city also happens to be a coastal settlement meat. Buttery slices of garlic bread pizza menu and that of a typical East with a storied fishing industry. Also, pizza originated there as a wrapped up in foil hit the comfort food Coast operation. Where a New England working-class food. It doesn’t take much of a stretch of the mark by virtue of their rich and warming place might only offer a choice between imagination to see how a resourceful angler or baker came up qualities. traditional red and barbecue sauce, Lefty’s with the combination of a protein-rich commodity fish with the Lefty’s will be a repeat stop during serves these and five others, including filling dough of this savory pie. future bicycle sojourns. The pasta prices ranch and pesto varieties. Others may only are reasonable, and while a pizza may be offer thick and thin crusts, but this Niwot cheaper at a chain, there’s usually a special enterprise features five styles, including multi-grain scallops. Of course, the usual suspects, like pepperoni, deal that you can find at leftysgourmetpizza.com. and a 12-inch, gluten-free number. mushrooms and mozzarella, are all available to delight It’s also good for East Coast exiles. Kurt’s final A dozen toppings would be a lot in New the traditionalist. House special pies run the gamut verdict? “It’s better than your average New England England, but here there are more than 40, including from olive oil and garlic sauced meatless options to pizza place.” such esoteric choices as white fish, goat cheese and the delightfully named Craig’s Cardiac Arrest, conRespond: letters@boulderweekly.com

Clay’s Obscurity Corner A fish story

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December 9, 2010 47

We Pride Ourselves On Quick Service!

ALSO FEATURING JAPANESE CUISINE

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www.EglooDelights.com 48 December 9, 2010

Boulder Weekly

GIFT from Page 45

seem to wind up crowded together on the griddle. You can even use larger ones as cake or pie servers.

Heat-proof spatula, $4.49 Whoever came up with the silicone spatula deserves some kind of culinary medal of honor. These things are so handy they’re even edging out some of my long-loved wooden ones. They’re stiff but still fairly flexible, so you can scrape the bottom of a bowl or the sides of a mixer or food processor, and because they won’t melt, you can even use them to get to those hard-to-reach corners of a hot pot.

You’re going to want several of these. Use one for basting savories with Boulder Weekly

Exp. 12/31/10

Microplane grater, $8.49

You don’t have one of these yet?

Where are you, in the Dark Ages?

These graters are quite simply one of the best kitchen inventions of the last Instant-read thermometer, 20 years. They’re actually wood rasps, $3.99 heavy-duty files that are used for shaping furniture. Think that would do the Of every tool listed here, this is the job when it comes to zesting citrus or most essential. You can make do with a grating hard cheese? These work like a clumsy spatula or a clunky mixing bowl, dream. This is the original model, but unless you’re a woodworking For very little real ace, you absohardware simply lutely have to have repackaged as a money, you can an instant-read kitchen implethermometer for ment. For an extra fill the stockings cooking meat. Yes, couple bucks, you can get one with a you can twist the of cooks near rubber handle that leg of a roast chickis designed just for en to feel the joint, and dear with cooking and is or do the press-test even easier to use. with a steak on the essentials that grill, but the only will get used way to be really sure Metal meayou’re hitting your suring over and over. temperature marks spoons, is with one of these. $2.59 You can get fancy ones that have digital readouts, and I love the one I have that Don’t laugh! Sure, everybody has links the readout to the thermometer one set in their drawer, somewhere. But by a heatproof cord so I can leave it in what do you do when, inevitably, you the oven. But start out with one of can’t find it just when you need it most, these, or even better, two, since they or when the same recipe calls for a tend to get misplaced. tablespoon of oil and then a tablespoon of salt? This list is all about affordable Whisk, $8.39 luxuries and having two or three sets of measuring spoons ready at hand cerMost cooks have one, but they real- tainly fits the description. And while ly would be happier with three or even you’re at it, pick up a couple sets of four. You need one standard whisk for measuring cups too ($4.99). sauces, a balloon whisk for whipping egg whites and cream, and a little whisk ‘Spider’ skimmer, $1.99 that will let you get into the tight corners of saucepans. Once you’ve got I’m always surprised when I walk into those basics, then you can play with flat someone’s kitchen and don’t find one of whisks for use in saute pans, or coil these. As frequently as that happens, I whisks for light sauces. You can even shouldn’t be, but really, these are so useful. find whisks that look like modern They’re a quantum improvement over the sculpture, with a little metal ball at the traditional slotted spoon, particularly end of each wire strand. I’m not sure when it comes to rescuing food from pots what they’re good for, but they’re really — pasta and blanched vegetables from cool-looking. boiling water, or little fried bites from hot oil. With just a little practice, you can Pastry brush, $1.69 clear an entire pot with one sweep.

[

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oil (these are best made with silicone fibers so they won’t melt in the heat); use another for brushing sweets with jellies and glazes; and have a third for brushing excess flour and sugar from pastry dough. Wrap the handles with different-colored tape so you can tell them apart (there’s nothing like glazing a fruit tart with the brush you last used for basting garlic and olive oil onto eggplant).

]

(c) 2010, Los Angeles Times —MCT

Fine East Indian Cuisine

India Unveiled The BEST East Indian Food this side of New Delhi Daily Lunch Buffet 11:30-2:30

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303.543.7339 Table Mesa Plaza (Broadway & Table Mesa) December 9, 2010 49

Aunt Alice’s Kitchen 1805 Main St., Longmont 303-651-0495

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ou’d be hard-pressed to find a superior alternative to Longmont’s Aunt Alice’s for an affordable coffee shop breakfast. This eatery has a retro charm and features overstuffed omelets such as the Works, a concoction of four eggs, bacon, sausage, cheddar cheese, mushrooms, onions and bell peppers. Other choices range from simple oatmeal to surprisingly good steak and eggs. The lunch and dinner menu also feature such old favorites as patty melts and fried chicken.

II Pastaio 3075 Arapahoe Ave., Suite B, Boulder 303-447-9572

appetizers

cream and a lavender-scented panna cotta.

synopses of recent restaurant reviews

Streat Chefs

To read reviews in their entirety, visit www.boulderweekly.com

Various locations 303-444-2433 www.streatchefs.com

S

treat Chefs, the brainchild of Top Chef victor Hosea Rosenberg, is an Airstream trailer that moves around town to provide a winning mix of ethnic street food and American comfort classics. Use the operation’s website to track down its whereabouts, and you’ll be rewarded with savory items like an authentic Vietnamese banh mi sandwich or an outstanding grilled cheese. The menu is constantly changing, but reasonable prices and high quality are certainly the norm.

HOLIDAY PARTIES AT CHAUTAUQUA Boulder’s most scenic and historic venue for your celebration.

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l Pastaio’s a petite spot situated a stone’s throw from the 30th Street King Soopers. Unsurprisingly, the menu relies heavily on fresh pasta, ranging from ribbons of fettuccine to delicious stuffed ravioli, topped with anything from creamy Alfredo to herbaceous pesto. Of note are the hearty lasagnas, available in meatless, turkey and beef versions, and the raviolis, which are great paired with tomato cream sauce.

Harpo’s Sports Grill 2860 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder 303-444-9464

B

oulder’s Harpo’s Sports Grill is a casual joint spotlighting affordable drink specials, tavern staples ranging from wings to burgers, and big-screen TVs perfect for watching games. Menu highlights include the delightfully crispy fish and chips with dill-scented batter, and the Boulder Burger, a half pound of beef topped with bacon, roasted red pepper and pepper jack cheese.

Salvaggio’s Italian Deli 2609 Pearl St., Boulder 303-938-1981

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alvaggio’s won’t win awards for groundbreaking sandwiches, but that isn’t the point. In this case, a predictable menu is a virtue. Fans of textbook deli-style sandwiches will be content here, and the generous portions and classic flavors will put the diner in a comfortable frame of mind. Top choices include the traditional Italian sub with its mix of pepperoni, Genoa salami, mortadella and provolone. Chicken salad is another fine entry.

Pupusas Sabor Hispano 4550 N. Broadway, Boulder 303-444-1729

B

oulder’s Pupusas Sabor Hispano decamped a few months back from

50 December 9, 2010

Brasserie Ten Ten

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ChautauquaSpecialEvents.com catering@dininghall.net 900 Baseline Road Boulder, CO 80302 303.443.3901

the west side of Broadway to bigger, more posh digs across the street. Fortunately, one can still enjoy the restaurant’s namesake Salvadorean pupusas and staples typically associated with Mexican cuisine, such as menudo, burritos and tacos, at moderate prices. Vegetarians will enjoy the flavorful bean pupusa, while the carnivore will delight in the rich pork versions.

Delhi Darbar 1132 W. Dillion Rd., Louisville 303-665-4848

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ituated not far from the Louisville multiplex movie theater and home improvement monoliths, Delhi Darbar serves a classic Indian menu, including a reasonably priced luncheon buffet. There are vegetarian specialties such as an okra bhindi, which matches this unique vegetable with onion. Other worthy choices include a pleasing lamb stew and a delicious, fresh-from-the-oven Tandoori chicken.

will appreciate petite servings of fries and other starters, while the famished can enjoy full-bore entrees like meatless red wheat berries and Long Farm pork chops.

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rendy is not how one would describe Andrea’s Homestead Café in downtown Lyons, with ambience that crosses a hunting lodge with a European relative’s home. Indeed, this establishment has a definite Teutonic vibe, as evidenced by the ample selection of dinner menu schnitzels and old country bric-a-brac.

The morning menu features standard bacon-and-egg breakfasts with such flourishes as German-style potatoes and fine vegetarian green chile.

The Kitchen 1039 Pearl St., Boulder 303-544-5973

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elf-described as a “community bistro,” The Kitchen prides itself on using such sustainable local ingredients as Long Farm pork, Monroe Farm veggies and Fox Fire lamb. The diverse menu, which has attracted national media attention, includes charcuterie and cheese platters, as well as melon salads and heirloom squash soup. Those with small appetites

owntown’s Brasserie Ten Ten has a touch of the old school with its wood panels, a full bar and ambience that isn’t just typical modernist minimalism. Traditionalism’s also apparent on the menu: escargot, steak frites and seafood platters. Other notable items, like a hot dog dressed with mornay sauce and gruyere cheese, may not be strictly authentic, but are still consistent with the brasserie’s comfort-food tradition.

Andrea’s Homestead Cafe 216 E. Main St., Lyons 303-823-5000

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1011 Walnut St., Boulder 303-998-1010

Zoe Ma Ma 2010 10th St., Boulder 303-545-MAMA

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here’s not exactly a San Francisco-style Cantonese menu at Zoe Ma Ma, which features authentic Chinese cooking. Sure, they have pot stickers and steamed bao, the pork-filled dim sum white buns. But there are also northern Chinese noodle dishes and zong zi, a sticky rice-filled Chinese tamale wrapped in bamboo leaf and freighted with pork. One standout is the special Sichuan Braised Beef noodle, a mix of melt-in-yourmouth meat and an impeccably prepared pasta.

Pizzeria Basta

Restaurante 100% Mexicano

3601 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder 303-997-8775

2850 Iris Ave., Boulder 303-440-4141

equestered in the Peloton residences, Pizzeria Basta features an unintimidating selection of starters focusing on cheese and charcuterie, as well as pasta, salads and pizza. The $10 lunch special is an especially excellent value, offering soup or salad with an entree choice of pizza, calzone or sandwich. A chef ’s special calzone stuffed with cheese, bright tomato sauce and salami is a winner, as are desserts like the house-made spearmint ice

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orth Boulder’s Restaurante 100% Mexicano is the latest local eatery to deliver an authentic “south of the border” street food experience. The menu includes tasty staples like tacos with freshly made corn tortillas, quesadillas, tamales with various stuffings and torta sandwiches. There’s also a selection of platos, such as the delicious tequila-sautéed shrimp and a fine carne asada platter.

Boulder Weekly

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1 12/1/10 10:16 AM Coming to Boulder JANUARY 15!

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December 9, 2010 51

screen

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boulderweekly.com/screen

Bungled burlesque

he choicest dialogue in Burlesque provokes the sort of laughter that other, intentionally funny films only dream of generating. Gather ’round for some free samples!

In the opening seconds, a country singer on the helpful soundtrack sings: “If ah ever left this town. ...” Not one minute later, the plucky Iowa waitress played by Christina Aguilera announces to her co-worker: “Ah’m leavin’.”

After a few bars of ’80s synthesizer and a travel montage, young Ali gets off the bus to L.A. and stumbles head first into a swanky neo-burlesque joint on Sunset Boulevard, run by someone named Tess played by something called Cher. Ali worms her way in as a cocktail waitress, but she dreams bigger: She yearns to bump and grind and cleavage like the other performers, while still staying this side of an R rating. “I’ve just never seen anything like this before!” she says.

Auditioning for Tess, Ali slays her with a number called “Wagon Wheel Watusi,” and a star is born. Then, when Tess hears her sing (much to the jealous disdain of Ali’s alcoholic rival, played by Kristen Bell), it’s like God Herself was this kid’s agent.

“I will not be upstaged by some slut with mutant lungs!” Bell protests. Later, Cher zings a weaker specimen by pointing out: “You’re throwing up everything but your memories!”

Most backstage musicals are ridiculous, but this is ridiculous. Is there a love interest? Shyeah! Ali’s room-

T

here are unsightlier hags in the world than Anne Hathaway and Jake Gyllenhaal, and the seriously moodswinging romantic comedy Love & Other Drugs offers several acres of surface appeal simply because their characters, Maggie and Jamie, spend a heartening amount of time in bed, or near one, in various degrees of undress.

Unlike most rom-coms, the nudity’s matter-of-fact here and, at its best, honest. The sexual current between the shallow Lothario portrayed by Gyllenhaal (a Viagra salesman, and how) and Hathaway’s coffeehouse waitress and part-time artist, who is also in stage one of Parkinson’s disease, leads to both “movie sex” (slick, a little ridiculous) and something like the real thing, exploring the slippery territory between lust and love.

I wish director and co-writer Edward Zwick’s film had the guts to treat Love & Other Drugs like a grown-up relationship story, rather than a relationship story periodically shoved aside by a lame and lamely raunchy romantic comedy for dummies. Viagra jokes, even in a movie dealing with the cultural shakeup brought on by Viagra itself, tend to be stupid. At least, these are. They put the “obvious” in “obvious.”

Set in 1996, Zwick’s picture has a tiny bit in common with The Social Network in its depiction of the very recent past as a distinct historical period. The 52 December 9, 2010

By Michael Phillips

mate, the metrosexual club bartender played by an overmatched blank named Cam Gigandet of The O.C., gets huffy when Ali stays out late with the zillionaire developer (Eric Dane) intent on buying the club for his own nefarious purposes. Which way will Ali’s heart take her?

Writer-director Steven Antin may have a heart as big as Iowa and California put together but he’s not much of a filmmaker. The perpetually unsteady camerawork (a choice, but a bad one), the suffocating claustrophobia induced by the preponderance of Chicagoinspired club interiors, the high-fructose corn syrup dis-

Love high

By Michael Phillips

Gyllenhaal character’s compulsive womanizing suits his career path as a high-flying late-20th-century drug salesman; as even a lot of pharmaceutical reps will probably admit after a glass of wine, looks and nerve really are a big part of the job. Jamie’s coarse, clueless brother (an aggravating turn from Josh Gad) is Jamie’s opposite: All money — he’s a software millionaire — and no social graces.

As for Maggie, well, she’s almost a character.

More like a collection of cynical attitudes and defense mechanisms. As she and Jamie fall into each other’s

guised as dialogue: It’s a lot to overcome, which is where a movie musical’s musical numbers usually come in.

The Rob Marshall Chicago and Nine aesthetic rules the roost here. This means the theatrical scenic design, the bowler hats, the Weimar-era vibe, the finger-snaps and pelvic rotations all recall, recycle and ultimately reduce the memory of Bob Fosse, while the direction and editing hatchet the dance rhythms into teeny little bits of disconnected posing. The choreography itself is better: Co-choreographer Denise Faye has done wonderful work on various Broadway stages as a performer in Fosse shows and others. As for the actual stars, Aguilera sings her lungs out, but the songs are pretty awful. Cher sings her lungs out, too, in her imperious, frozenupper-lip style, though not as often as Aguilera.

The whole movie amounts to an I-will-survive anthem.

Antin’s sister founded the real-life neo-burlesque L.A. troupe known as the Pussycat Dolls. Will sanitized burlesque sell on screen? Will interest in the acting chops (so-so) of Aguilera and the cosmetic rehab wonder that is Cher stoke the box office? Some questions are too vast to consider without benefit of opening-weekend grosses. The film’s inadvertent laughs start petering out around the two-thirds point, which is sad.

But at its worst/best, Burlesque is a camp hoot the likes of which we haven’t seen in a long time.

arms, she stays wary — she knows what’s coming for her, health-wise, and doesn’t believe his expressions of commitment beyond what happens between the sheets.

Zwick and co-writer Marshall Herskovitz gave us thirtysomething, and much of that series’ creamy, glossy visual and thematic style persists here. If I bought it, I’d use a different word than “persist,” but too much of Love & Other Drugs settles for facile point-making and prettiness.

Hathaway saves as much of it as she can: She alone inhabits the credulity-stretching dual personalities of the picture with ease, often movingly.

Gyllenhaal, less convincingly: His speech rhythms and instincts seem a little dazed and sluggish for the farce-driven bits, and while his big, soulful eyes match up rather strikingly with Hathaway’s, something in the character of Jamie, both as written and acted, remains opaque.

He’s meant to be a hollow man who learns how to fill himself up with the right stuff, but still. Maybe I’m in the minority; maybe Zwick’s film will click with a big audience. I like it when it stays off-narrative, in bed and in tune with its hard-shell central lovers. The rest of it, the scenes with the brother, with the drug-rep wars ... strictly a placebo.

Boulder Weekly

reel to reel

For a list of local movie times visit boulderweekly.com of political power, Fair Game is a riveting actionthriller based on the autobiography of real-life undercover CIA operative Valerie Plame (Naomi Watts), whose career was destroyed and marriage strained to its limits when her covert identity was illegally exposed. As a covert officer in the CIA’s Counter-Proliferation Division, Valerie leads an investigation into the existence of weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Valerie’s husband, diplomat Joe Wilson (Sean Penn), is drawn into the investigation to substantiate an alleged sale of enriched uranium from Niger. But when the administration ignores his findings and uses the issue to support the call to war, Joe writes a New York Times editorial outlining his conclusions and igniting a firestorm of controversy. From Doug Liman, director of The Bourne Identity. At Esquire. — Landmark Theaters

127 Hours The latest film from Danny Boyle (Slumdog Millionaire) dramatizes the true story of mountain climber Aron Ralston (James Franco), who has to resort to desperate measures to save himself after a fallen boulder crashes on his arm and traps him in an isolated canyon in Utah. Rated R. At Mayan and Esquire. — Rene Rodriguez Burlesque See full review on Page 52. At Flatiron, Century, Colony Square and Twin Peaks.

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader Director Michael Apted tackles the third installment in the series of beloved novels by C.S. Lewis, in which the Pevensie siblings and their young cousin return to the magical land and sail to the edge of the world alongside Prince Caspian. There will be dragons. At Flatiron, Century, Colony Square and Twin Peaks. — Rene Rodriguez Death Becomes Her Goldie Hawn and Meryl Streep run wild in this black comedy that mixes rapier wit with cuttingedge special effects. Insufferably vain, Hawn and Streep discover the secret of eternal youth ­— and find that it has a few unadvertised drawbacks. The object of their affection is a nerdy

Faster

Tangled No, we don’t know what he’s doing to that horse either, but we hear Tangled is a hilarious take on the Rapunzel fairytale.

plastic surgeon (Bruce Willis), but when the ladies’ bodies start to go — literally — he might not be able to help them out. At Denver FilmCenter/Colfax. — Denver Film Society Due Date Robert Downey Jr. returns to full-on comedy mode for director Todd Phillips (The Hangover)

with this story of an expectant father who must hitch a ride with an obnoxious aspiring actor (Zach Galifianakis) in order to get home in time for the birth of his baby. Rated R. At Flatiron, Century, Colony Square. — Rene Rodriguez Fair Game A suspense-filled glimpse into the dark corridors

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson sets aside the kiddie movies and comedies and returns to R-rated action territory, playing an ex-convict out to avenge the murder of his brother. Billy Bob Thornton co-stars as the cop keeping a close eye on him. Rated R. At Flatiron, Century, Colony Square and Twin Peaks. — Rene Rodriguez Four Lions Chris Morris’ Four Lions is a funny, thrilling comedy that illuminates modern jihadism through the prism of farce. What This Is Spinal Tap did for heavy metal and Dr. Strangelove the Cold War,

local theaters AMC Flatiron Crossing, 61 W. Flatiron Cir., Broomfield, 303-790-4262 127 Hours Thu: 11, 1:20, 3:35, 5:55, 8:20, 10:45 Burlesque Thu: 11:10, 2, 4:50, 7:40, 10:30 The Chronicles of Narnia:The Voyage of the Dawn Treader Fri-Wed: 10:30, 1:20, 4:10, 7, 9:50 Due Date Thu: 10:55, 1:10, 3:30, 5:50, 8:10, 10:35 Faster Thu: 11:40, 2:15, 4:40, 7:15, 9:40 Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 Thu: 11:15, 12:20, 2:40, 3:45, 6, 7, 9:15, 10:15 Love and Other Drugs Thu: 11:50, 2:30, 5:15, 8, 10:40 Megamind Thu: 1:50, 4:15, 6:45, 9:10 Morning Glory Thu: 11:20, 1:55, 4:30, 7:10, 9:45 The Next Three Days Thu: 4:10, 10:10 The Social Network Thu: 1:25, 7:20 Tangled Thu: 11:55, 2:20, 5, 7:30, 10 Unstoppable Thu: 12:35, 3, 5:25, 7:50, 10:20 The Warrior’s Way Thu: 10:55, 1:15, 3:40, 6:05, 8:30, 10:55 Century Boulder, 1700 29th St., Boulder, 303-4421815 127 Hours Thu-Wed: 1:15, 3:45, 6:30, 9 Burlesque Thu-Wed: 1:25, 4:10, 7, 10:15 The Chronicles of Narnia:The Voyage of the Dawn Treader Fri-Wed: 10:15, 1:05, 3:55, 6:45, 9:30 Due Date Thu-Wed: 2:45, 5:20, 7:50, 10:10 Fair Game Thu-Wed: 1:35, 4:20, 6:55, 9:45 Love and Other Drugs Thu-Wed: 11:35, 2:15, 5, 7:40, 10:20 Megamind Thu-Wed: 1, 3:40, 6:05, 8:30 The Next Three Days Thu: 3:20, 6:20, 9:25 FriWed: 1:45, 7:15 Tangled Thu-Wed: 1:45, 4:15, 6:45, 9:15 The Tourist Fri-Wed: 10:30, 11:50, 1, 2:20, 3:35, 4:50, 6:05, 7:20, 8:35, 9:50 Unstoppable Thu: 11:35, 2:10, 4:35, 7:05, 9:35

Boulder Weekly

The Warrior’s Way Thu: 11:55, 2:25, 4:50, 7:30, 10 Fri-Wed: 11:20, 4:45, 10:20 Colony Square, 1164 Dillon Rd., Louisville, 303-6042641 Burlesque Thu: 1:10, 4, 7:10, 9:55 The Chronicles of Narnia:The Voyage of the Dawn Treader Fri-Wed: 1, 4, 7, 9:50 Faster Thu: 1:50, 4:50, 4:50, 7:50, 10:10 Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 Thu: 3:30, 4:20, 7, 7:30, 10:10 Love and Other Drugs Thu: 1:40, 4:30, 7:20, 10 Megamind 3D Thu: 12:50, 3:40, 9:45 Morning Glory Thu: 1:10, 4:10, 7:25, 10:05 The Next Three Days Thu: 7:05, 10:20 Secretariat Thu: 1:30, 4:40, 7:40, 10:30 Tangled Thu: 2, 4:35, 7:15, 9:45 The Tourist Fri-Wed: 2, 4:40, 7:30, 10:10 Unstoppable Thu: 2:10, 5:10, 8 Landmark Chez Artiste, 2800 S. Colorado Blvd., Denver, 303-352-1992 The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest ThuWed: 4:30, 8 Inside Job Fri-Wed: 4:15, 7, 9:35 My Dog Tulip Thu: 4, 7:15, 9:20 Tiny Furniture Fri-Wed: 4, 7:15, 9:25 Today’s Special Thu: 4:15, 7, 9:30 Landmark Esquire, 590 Downing St., Denver, 303352-1992 127 Hours Fri-Wed: 4:30, 7:15, 9:40 Fair Game Thu: 4:30, 7:15, 9:40 Vision: From the Life of Hildegard von Bingen Fri-Wed: 4:15, 7, 9:30 Wayne’s World Fri-Sat 11:59 p.m.

Landmark Mayan, 110 Broadway, Denver, 303-352-

1992 127 Hours Thu: 3:30, 4:50, 6, 7:25, 8:30, 10 Black Swan Fri-Wed: 3:45, 4:30, 6:30, 7:15, 8, 9:15, 10 Inside Job Thu: 4:20, 7, 9:30 Denver FilmCenter, 2510 E. Colfax Ave., Denver, 303-820-3456 Death Becomes Her Fri: 10 p.m. Sat: 11:55 p.m.

Four Lions Thu: 4:30, 9:40 Leaving Thu: 1:30, 4:15 Marwencol Fri-Wed: 2, 7:30 Monsters Thu-Wed: 4:45, 7:30, 9:50 Strange Powers: Stephin Merritt and the Magnetic Fields Thu-Wed: 2, 9:30 Tamara Drewe Thu: 1:45, 7:10 Today’s Special Fri-Wed: 4:15, 7:10, 9:20 UA Twin Peaks, 1250 S. Hover Rd., Longmont, 303651-2434 Burlesque Thu: 1:20, 4:20, 7:20, 10:05 Fri-Wed: 1:15, 4:15, 7:15, 9:45 The Chronicles of Narnia:The Voyage of the Dawn Treader Fri-Wed: 12:50, 4, 7:10, 9:45 Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part I Thu-Wed: 12:45, 3:50, 7, 9:40 Love and Other Drugs Thu: 1:25, 4:30, 7:30, 10:10 Fri-Wed: 1:25, 4:25, 7:35, 10:15 Megamind Thu: 1:45, 4:15, 7:05, 9:50 Fri-Wed: 1:10, 4:20, 7:05, 9:40 Tangled Thu-Wed: 1:30, 4:35, 7:20, 9:55 The Tourist Fri-Wed: 1:40, 4:40, 7:30, 10 Unstoppable Thu: 1:40, 4:40, 7:40, 10 Fri-Wed: 1:50, 4:50, 7:50, 10:10 As times are always subject to change, we request that you verify all movie listings beforehand. Daily updated information can be viewed on our website, www.boulderweekly.com.

December 9, 2010 53

Four Lions does for the modern face of terrorism.

In a British city, four men have a secret plan.

Omar is disillusioned about the treatment of Muslims around the world and is determined to become a soldier. This is the most exciting idea Waj has ever heard. Better still, it’s a no-brainer because Omar does his thinking for him.

Opposed to Omar and everyone else on earth is the white Islamic convert Barry. He’d realize he joined the cell to channel his nihilism — if he had half the self-knowledge of a duck. Faisal is the odd man out. He can make a bomb — but he can’t blow himself up just now ‘cuz his sick dad has “started eating newspaper.” Instead, he’s training crows to fly bombs through windows.

This is what Omar has to deal with. They must strike a decisive blow on their own turf, but can any of them strike a match without punching himself in the face? Crackling with wit and tension, Four Lions is the essential response to our failure to engage with reality and a high toast to the idea that laughter is better than killing. At Denver Film Center. — Denver Film Society

a bar so severely that he nearly died. After nine days in a coma and 40 days in the hospital, Mark was discharged with little memory of his previous life. Unable to afford therapy, Mark decided to create his own. In his backyard, he built Marwencol (named for Mark/Wendy/Colleen), a one-sixth scale World War II-era town that he populated with dolls representing his friends, family and even his attackers. He used the small dolls and props to redevelop his hand-eye coordination, while he dealt with the psychic wounds from his attack through the town’s many battles and dramas. He developed an elaborate fantasy life for the world of Marwencol and took photographs of the dramatic scenes, which were eventually discovered and published in an art magazine. His homemade therapy suddenly became “art,” attracting a lot of attention and forcing Mark to make a choice between the safety of his fictional town and the real world he’d avoided since his attack. A surprising tale of love, secrets, pain and adventure. At Denver FilmCenter/ Colfax — Denver Film Society

after she’s sentenced to life for murder. Rated PG-13. At Flatiron, Century, Colony Square and Twin Peaks. — Rene Rodriguez

The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest

Megamind 3D

In The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest — the final installment of Stieg Larsson’s Millennium Trilogy — Lisbeth Salander is fighting for her life in more ways than one. In intensive care and charged with three murders, she will not only have to prove her innocence, but also identify and denounce those corrupt government institutions that very nearly destroyed her life. Once upon a time, she was a victim. Now Salander is fighting back. Also starring Michael Nyqvist as journalist Mikael Blomkvist. Directed by Daniel Alfredson. At Chez Artiste. — Landmark Theatres

In this computer-animated 3-D adventure, the eponymous supervillain (voiced by Will Ferrell) finally defeats his heroic arch-enemy (Brad Pitt), then discovers that his life has no meaning without someone to scheme against. Rated PG. At Flatiron, Century, Colony Square and Twin Peaks.

— Rene Rodriguez

Ten years in the making, Strange Powers is an intimate documentary portrait of songwriter Stephin Merritt and his band the Magnetic Fields.

With his unique gift for memorable melodies, lovelorn lyrics and wry musical stylings that blend classic Tin Pan Alley with modern sounds, Stephin Merritt has distinguished himself as one of contemporary pop’s most beloved and influential artists. Both a prolific recording artist and composer of theater and film scores, he performs most famously as the Magnetic Fields, whose 1999 three-disc opus 69 Love Songs is widely considered a masterpiece of traditional songcraft and irresistible synthpop. Strange Powers explores Merritt’s songwriting and recording process, and focuses on his relationships with his bandmates and longtime manager Claudia Gonson, revealing an artist who has produced one of the most engaging and confounding bodies of work in the contemporary American songbook. At Denver FilmCenter/ Colfax. — Denver Film Society

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 Harry, Ron and Hermione set out to find the rest of the Horcruxes to defeat Voldemort. With Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson and Ralph Fiennes. Rated PG-13. At Flatiron, Century, Colony Square and Twin Peaks. — Los Angeles Times/MCT Inside Job From Academy Award-nominated filmmaker Charles Ferguson comes Inside Job, the first film to expose the shocking truth behind the economic crisis of 2008. The global financial meltdown, at a cost of more than $20 trillion, resulted in millions of people losing their homes and jobs. Through extensive research and interviews with major financial insiders, politicians and journalists, Inside Job traces the rise of a rogue industry and unveils the corrosive relationships that have corrupted politics, regulation and academia.

At Mayan. — Landmark Theatres Leaving A riveting new drama by the prolific French filmmaker Catherine Corsini, Leaving stars Oscarnominee Kristin Scott Thomas as a woman prepared to abandon everything in pursuit of passion. Suzanne, the bourgeois wife of a successful doctor, and Samuel, live together with their children in the south of France. Weighted down by a thrill-less lifestyle and a stale marriage, Suzanne falls for the handsome young Ivan, an immigrant ex-con working on their property. Their affair is passionate, but Suzanne is wracked by guilt.

When she confesses to her husband, his retaliation begins an ugly turn of events. At Denver FilmCenter/Colfax — Landmark Theatres Love and Other Drugs See full review on Page 52. At Flatiron, Century, Colony Square and Twin Peaks.

Marwencol In 2000 five men beat Mark Hogancamp outside 54 December 9, 2010

Morning Glory Harrison Ford makes a welcome return to comedy as a famous anchorman hired by a TV producer to revive the sagging ratings of her station’s morning news show. But the egotistical newsman refuses to share the stage with his coanchor. Rated PG-13. At Flatiron, Century, Colony Square and Twin Peaks. — Rene Rodriguez Monsters In 2009, NASA discovered the possibility of alien life within our solar system. A probe was launched to collect samples from Europa, one of Jupiter’s moons, but it crashed upon re-entry over Central America. Soon after, new life forms began to appear there and half of Mexico was quarantined as an Infected Zone. Today, the American and Mexican military still struggle to contain the extraterrestrial “creatures.” After six years, they’re no longer aliens — they’re residents. Our story begins when a U.S. photojournalist Andrew Kaulder agrees to escort a shaken American tourist through the Infected Zone in Mexico to the safety of the U.S. border. At Denver FilmCenter/Colfax My Dog Tulip My Dog Tulip is a bittersweet retrospective account of author J. R. Ackerley’s 14-year relationship with his adopted dog, Tulip. Ackerley hardly thought of himself as a dog lover when, in middle age, he came to adopt Tulip — a beautiful yet intolerable 18-month-old German shepherd.

To his surprise, she turned out to be the love of his life, the ideal companion he had been searching for. In vivid and sometimes startling detail, the film reveals Tulip’s sassy, often erratic behavior, canine tastes and Ackerley’s determined efforts to ensure an existence of perfect happiness for her. Written, directed and animated by award-winning filmmakers Paul and Sandra Fierlinger, My Dog Tulip is the first animated feature ever to be entirely hand-drawn and painted utilizing paperless computer technology. At Chez Artiste. — Landmark Theatres The Next Three Days Director Paul Haggis (Crash) sets aside social commentary with this deft thriller about a college professor (Russell Crowe) who decides to break his wife (Elizabeth Banks) out of prison

Secretariat The luminous Diane Lane stars in this fact-based story of Penny Chenery, a housewife and mother who in 1973 took over her father’s horse stables and, with the help of a trainer (John Malkovich), produced the first Triple Crown winner in 25 years. Rated PG. At Colony Square. — Rene Rodriguez The Social Network An enthralling, near-perfect comedy of manners from director David Fincher and screenwriter Aaron Sorkin about the exhilarating creation and contested consolidation of Facebook. Rated PG-13. At Flatiron. ­— Carrie Rickey Strange Powers: Stephin Merritt and the Magnetic Fields

Tamara Drewe Based on Posy Simmonds’ graphic novel of the same name (which was itself inspired by Thomas Hardy’s Far From the Madding Crowd), this modern take on the English pastoral is a far cry from Hardy’s Wessex. Tamara Drewe’s present-day English countryside is a much funnier place.

When Tamara Drewe sashays back to the bucolic village of her youth, life for the locals is thrown upside down. Tamara, once an ugly duckling, has been transformed into a devastating beauty (with help from plastic surgery). As infatuations, jealousies, love affairs and career ambitions collide among the inhabitants of the neighboring farmsteads, Tamara sets a contemporary comedy of manners into play using the oldest magic in the book: sex appeal. At Esquire. — Landmark Theatres Tangled This witty and charming 3-D computer-animated adventure is loosely based on the legend of Rapunzel, the long-haired princess (voiced by Mandy Moore), and the intrepid thief (Zachary Levi) who frees her from her tower prison.

Rated PG. At Flatiron, Century, Colony Square and Twin Peaks. — Rene Rodriguez Tiny Furniture Twenty-two-year-old Aura (writer/director Lena Dunham) returns home to her artist mother’s TriBeCa loft with the following: a useless film theory degree, 357 hits on her YouTube page, a boyfriend who’s left her to find himself at Burning Man, a dying hamster and her tail between her legs. Luckily, her train-wreck childhood best friend never left home, the restaurant down the block is hiring, and ill-advised romantic possibilities lurk around every corner. Aura

quickly throws away her liberal-arts clogs and careens into her old/new life: a dead-end hostess job, pathetic Brooklyn “art shows,” drinking all the wine in her mother’s cabinets, competing with her prodigious teenage sister and desperate sex in a giant metal pipe. Surrounded on all sides by what she could become, Aura just wants someone to tell her who she is. At Chez Artiste.

— Landmark Theatres Today’s Special Today’s Special is a heartwarming comedy with a culinary flavor, inspired by Aasif Mandvi’s Obie Award-winning play Sakina’s Restaurant. Samir (Mandvi) is a sous chef who dreams of becoming the head chef at an upscale Manhattan restaurant. Dreams must be put aside though after his father, Hakim, has a heart attack and Samir is forced to take over Tandoori Palace, the nearly bankrupt family restaurant in Jackson Heights.

Samir’s relationship with his parents and his heritage is immediately put to the test. He has been estranged from his father since the death of his older brother, and his mother, Farrida, is consumed with finding a wife for her remaining son.

While Samir is being forced to forsake his dreams, he is desperately trying to master Indian cooking to salvage the family business. Luckily, he crosses paths with Akbar, a taxi driver, passionate chef, and worldly raconteur. Akbar inspires Samir and teaches him to trust his senses more than recipes; to stop measuring his life, and to start truly living it. With Akbar’s guidance, Samir has a chance to rediscover his heritage and his passion for life through the enchanting art of cooking Indian food. At Chez Artiste. — Landmark Theatres The Tourist Johnny Depp is an American who travels to Italy to mend his broken heart. Angelina Jolie is the mysterious woman who enters his life. Soon they are swirling in danger and intrigue. She’s a trouble magnet, that Jolie. At Flatiron, Century, Colony Square and Twin Peaks. — Rene Rodriguez Unstoppable Denzel Washington, Chris Pine and Rosario Dawson are employees of a rail company racing to keep an unmanned, runaway freight train loaded with toxic chemicals from destroying a city.

Rated PG-13. At Century, Colony Square and Twin Peaks. — Rene Rodriguez Vision: From the Life of Hildegrad von Bingen Hildegard von Bingen was truly a woman ahead of her time. A visionary in every sense of the word, this famed 12th-century Benedictine nun was a Christian mystic, composer, philosopher, playwright, poet, naturalist, scientist, physician, herbalist and ecological activist. In Vision, New German Cinema auteur Margarethe von Trotta reunites with recurrent star Barbara Sukowa to bring the story of this extraordinary woman to life. In a staggering performance, Sukowa portrays von Bingen’s fierce determination to expand the responsibilities of women within the order, even as she fends off outrage from some in the Church over the visions she claims to receive from God. Lushly shot in the original medieval cloisters of the fairytale-like German countryside, Vision is a profoundly inspirational portrait of a woman who has emerged from the shadows of history as a forward-thinking and iconoclastic pioneer of faith, change and enlightenment. At Esquire. — Landmark Theatres The Warrior’s Way

An Asian warrior assassin is forced to hide in a small town in the American Badlands. At Century and Flatiron. — Los Angeles Times/MCT Boulder Weekly

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puzzles

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boulderweekly.com/puzzles

Crossword

Since 1979

Stumble?

Puzzle by J. Reynolds

Across 1. Extend credit 5. Luxury Toyota make 10. Support 14. "Take ___ leave..."

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I T O R E C R U S H A M S P O W E A C H T I T A R E T S T A T R S P I E G O B No. 145 E T N A E S E L

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Boulder Weekly

astrology boulderweekly.com/astrology ARIES

March 21-April 19:

In the coming weeks, life will beguile you with secrets and riddles but probably not reveal as much as you’d like. I think this is an opportunity, not a problem. In my opinion, your task isn’t to press for shiny clarity, but rather to revel in the luxuriant mysteries. Let them confer their blessings on you through the magic of teasing and tantalizing. And what is the nature of those blessings? To enlighten your irrational mind, stimulate your imagination, teach you patience and nurture your connection with eternity.

TAURUS

April 20-May 20:

Butterflies recall at least some of what they’ve learned during their time as caterpillars. The metamorphosis they go through is dramatic, turning their bodies into a soupy goo before remaking them into winged gliders. And yet they retain the gist of the lessons they mastered while in their earlier form. I see something comparable ahead for you in 2011, Taurus. It’s as if you will undergo a kind of reincarnation without having to endure the inconvenience of actually dying. Like a butterfly, the wisdom you’ve earned in your old self will accompany you into your new life. Are you ready?

The process begins soon.

GEMINI

May 21-June 20:

What nourishes you emotionally and spiritually, Gemini?

I’m not talking about what entertains you or flatters you or takes your mind off your problems. I’m referring to the influences that make you stronger and the people who see you for who you really are and the situations that teach you life-long lessons. I mean the beauty that replenishes your psyche and the symbols that consistently restore your balance and the memories that keep feeding your ability to rise to each new challenge. Take inventory of these precious assets. And then make a special point of nurturing them back.

CANCER June 21-July 22:

Two-thirds of American elementary-school teachers spend their own money to buy food for their poor students.

Meanwhile, there’s a 50 percent chance that an American kid will, at some point in his or her young life, resort to using government aid in the form of food stamps. Those facts make me angry and motivate me to volunteer to distribute free food at the local food bank. I encourage you, my fellow Cancerian, to summon your own good reasons to get riled up on behalf of people who have less luck and goodness than you do. It’s always therapeutic to stretch your generosity and spread your wealth, but doing so will especially rebound to your advantage in the coming weeks. Unselfish acts will bring profound selfish benefits.

LEO

July 23-Aug. 22:

According to some sources, the ancient Greek philosopher Socrates practiced the art of sculpture as a young man. But he abandoned it early on, deciding that he wanted to “carve his soul rather than marble.” Can I interest you in turning your attention to that noble, gritty task, Leo? It would be a fine time to do some intensive soul-carving. Soul-scouring, too, would be both fun and wise, as well as soul-etching and soul-emblazoning and soul-accessorizing. I highly recommend that you enjoy a prolonged phase of renovating and replenishing your most precious work of art.

VIRGO

Aug. 23-Sept. 22:

In her haunting tune “One Blood,” Virgo singer Lila Downs confesses that “the deepest fear [is] my desire.” I personally know many Virgos who make a similar lament. How about you? Is there any way in which you are scared of the power of your longing? Do you ever find yourself reluctant to unleash the full force of your passion, worried that it could drive you out of control or lead you astray? If so, the coming weeks will be prime time to face down your misgivings. It’s time to liberate your desires, at least a little.

LIBRA

Sept. 23-Oct. 22:

Here are your words of power: hybrid, amalgamation, composite, aggregate, medley, alloy, ensemble. Now here are your words of disempowerment: welter, mishmash, jumble, hodgepodge, patchwork. Strive to accentuate the first category and avoid the second. Your task is to create a pleasing, synergetic arrangement from a multiplicity of factors, even as you avoid throwing together a hash of diverse influences into an unholy mess. Be calculating and strategic, not rash and random, as you do your blending.

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SCORPIO Oct. 23-Nov. 21:

On my Facebook page, I posted this excerpt from a Pablo Neruda love poem (translated by Stephen Tapscott): “Our love is like a well in the wilderness where time watches over the wandering lightning. Our sleep is a secret tunnel that leads to the scent of apples carried on the wind.” In response, a reader named John F. Gamboa said this: “I once found a well in the desert. There was a rope and a bucket. The bucket had a small hole in it. While pulling up the bucket of water, about half of it drained. But I suppose a decent bucket would have been stolen. So a bucket with a small hole was perfect; I got what I needed!” I’m here to tell you, Scorpio, that like Gamboa, a bucket with a small hole is probably what you need right now.

SAGITTARIUS Nov. 22-Dec. 21:

You’ve arrived at a delicate yet boisterous turning point when one-of-a-kind opportunities are budding. I’m going to give you seven phrases that I think capture the essence of this pregnant moment: wise innocence, primal elegance, raw holiness, electrifying poise, curative teasing, rigorous play and volcanic tenderness. To maximize your ability to capitalize on the transformations that are available, I suggest you seek out and cultivate these seemingly paradoxical states of being.

CAPRICORN Dec. 22-Jan. 19:

For years I’ve had recurring dreams of finding treasure amid trash. I interpret this to mean that I should always be alert, in my waking life, for the possibility that I might come across beautiful or valuable stuff that’s mixed in with what has been discarded or forgotten. Recently I heard about a literal embodiment of this theme. A sewage treatment plant in Japan announced that it has been culling huge amounts of gold from the scum and slop — so much so that their haul outstrips the yield at the country’s top gold mine. I urge you to make this your metaphor of the week, Capricorn. What riches might you be able to pluck out of the dirt and shadows?

AQUARIUS Jan. 20-Feb. 18:

Should you store up your energy, postpone your gratification and withhold your full intensity for a more opportune time?

Hell, no! Should you await further data before making a definitive conclusion, fantasize dreamily about some more perfect future and retreat into a self-protective cocoon?

Double hell, no! And if thoughts like those have been poking up into your awareness, exorcise them immediately. It is high time for you to grab the best goodies, reveal the whole truth and employ your ultimate schemes. You are primed to make a big play, call on all the help you’ve been promised and transform the “what ifs” into “no doubts.”

PISCES

Feb. 19-March 20:

In Taio Cruz’s mega-hit pop song “Dynamite,” he describes how excited he is to go dancing at his favorite nightclub. “I throw my hands up in the air,” he exults. “I wanna celebrate and live my life … I’m wearin’ all my favorite brands.” In advising you about the best ways to ride the current cosmic rhythms, Pisces, I’ll use Cruz as both a role model and an anti-role model. You should be like him in the sense of being eager to throw your hands up in the air. Right now it’s your sacred duty to intensify your commitment to revelry and find every possible excuse to celebrate your life. On the other hand, it’s crucial that you don’t wear all your favorite brands. To get the full benefits from this time of festive release, you will need, as much as humanly possible, to declare your independence from corporate brainwashing and escape the intelligence-sapping mindset.

Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny's EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.

December 9, 2010 61

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December 9, 2010 63

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