Born To Ride Florida #198 - November 2020

SEPT NOV 2020 2020#198 #91

read it/watch it/ride it

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Contents

NOVEMBER ISSUE 198

AD INDEX

FEATURES

John Shope-Dirty Tail & Chelsea Skinner 13 Glenn H. Curtis-Fastest Man 21 Paughco’s Golden Chopper 33

COLUMNS

10

Nefarious James-Dress For the Slide Movie Review-Hell Ride Christian Motorcycle Association Spyke & Mike - Turkeypocolypse

31 41 53 54

DEPARTMENTS Contents Page 2 Letter From The Editor Dave Nichols 4 Ride Safe, Ride Smart-Sleepy Commuter 7 Tech Tip - Oiling System 38 Born To Ride Kids 53

REPORTS

21

C-3PO Reads It 36 Women’s World - Tail of the Dragon 37 Cycle-Rama - Horse Power & Perfomance 43 Cartoon 45 Veterans Day - Thank You 45 Reader’s Ride - Vicki “Spitfire” Sanfelipo 52

ON THE COVER John Shope’s Dirty Tail & Model Chelsea Skinner Photos by John Covington

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The information contained herein is provided by Born To Ride Magazine or by its advertisers. BTR makes every effort to present accurate and reliable information in the issue. Born To Ride Magazine does not endorse, approve, or certify such information, nor does it guarantee the accuracy, completeness, efficacy, timeliness or correct sequencing of such information throughout this magazine. Use of such information is voluntary on your part, and reliance on it should only be undertaken after your independent review. Reference herein to any specific manufacturer, company, commercial product, process, or service by trade name, trademark, service mark, or otherwise does not constitute or imply endorsement of or recommendation of said by Born To Ride Magazine.” “Born To Ride Magazine (including its employees, contributors and agents) assumes no responsibility for consequences that may result from the use of the information herein, including the use of the information obtained at www.borntoride.com and it’s linked sites, or in any respect for the content of such information, including (but not limited to) errors or omissions, the accuracy or reasonableness of factual or scientific assumptions, studies or conclusions, ownership of copyright or other intellectual property rights, and the violation of property, privacy, or personal rights of others. BTR Magazine is not responsible for damages of any kind arising out of use, reference to, or reliance on such information. No guarantees or warranties, including (but not limited to) any express or implied warranties are made by BTR Magazine with respect to such information contained throughout the site.” No part may be copied without written permission of the publisher, Born To Ride, Inc. P.O. Box 3021, Brandon, FL 33509. 888-795-5779, Fax 813-689-2996. ­­

AAA 6 All About Leather 45 Allstate - Jeff Ard 46 All World Lift Truck 50 Affordable MotorSports 48 Boss Hogg Radio 8 BornToRide.com 50 BTR App 49 BTR Bikini Babes 49 BTR Social Media 50 BTR Facebook 36 BTR Facebook Group 42 BTR Heat Up 42 BTR Lifestyle 42 BTR Radio 8 BTR Subscribe 26 BTR TV-Great 38 8 BTR YouTube 36 Choice Med Group 40 Choppertown 29 CraigPaintsBikes.com 49 Cycle-Rama 40 Elite Transmission & Auto 45 Estrella TV 8 Florida Farmhouse Market 24 Forever Two Wheels 32 G.I Joe Wanted 45 Gotta Havit Insurance 44 H-D Crystal 56, IBC H-D Rossiters 30 High Seas Rally 55 JF Kicks 9 JT’s Road House 18 John & Heather Show 48 Lakeland Antique Mall 47 Leasure Automotive 44 Leather Lid Inserts 45 Media Design Shop 44 Metalsport Wheels 5 Mid USA 17 Mugs and Jugs - Largo 19 Pop A Beer 11 Progressive Insurance 3 Ron Keith Reward 18 Rubenstein Law IFC, BC Rubenstein Law Slip & Fall 10 S&S Cycle 12 Sonny’s Real Pit Bar-B-Q 51 Thunder By The Bay 28 Tropic Trailer 46 Warriors MC Shoe Box Xmas 20

ISSUE #196

BORN TO RIDE Magazine

PO BOX 3021 Brandon, FL 33509 PUBLISHER

Letter from the Editor

Ron Galletti 813-785-3895 888-795-5779 rg@borntoride.com

DAVE NICHOLS

CO PUBLISHER

Deb Galletti dgalletti@borntoride.com

EDITOR

Dave Nichols editor@borntoride.com

FROM THE HELM

ART DIRECTOR

THE RIGHTEOUS WORLD OF MOTORCYCLES

Peter Soutullo art@borntoride.com

CREATIVE DIRECTOR Erick Runyon

ART DEPARTMENT

Juan Guzman, Jared Hartman, Erick Runyon , Peter Soutullo, Craig Miller, Beatnik Steve Werner art@borntoride.com

WEB DESIGN/ELECTRONIC MEDIA Juan Guzman

OFFICE ADMINISTRATION Nancy Ray nray@borntoride.com

MULTI-MEDIA SPECIALIST Jared Hartman, Craig Miller Jasper Harris

SALES & MARKETING 888-795-5779

ROAD CREW

Vick Velosity, Mark Crowder, Doug Bright, Birdman Mike,

SCENIC RIDE CONSULTANT Steve Finzelber-Finz Finds

ON THE ROAD TEAM

The John & Heather Show

CONTRIBUTORS

JP Brady, Neale Bayly, Susan Hurst, Spyke & Mike, Eric Albright, Eric Vician, Myra McElhaney, Paul Murray, James Gladstone Greg Blackwell, Felicia Morgan, John Sullivan

PHOTOGRAPHERS

Ron & Selena Hawks, Chris Miller, Scott Odel, Eric Albright, Chopper Dave, JP Brady, Erick Runyon, Craig Miller

LAW FIRM

Rubenstein Law 1-800-FL-LEGAL BORN TO RIDE OFFICE

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HOWDY BROTHERS AND SISTERS!

We are so blessed. Anyone who rides a motorcycle is blessed to enjoy the thrills found on two wheels and the comradery found in the brotherhood and sisterhood of being part of the biker family. Born To Ride is your one-stop shop for everything to keep you in touch with that family of gearheads and moto maniacs. This issue’s cover story tells the tale of the world’s best boss – John Shope of Dirty Bird Concepts out of Arizona.

John transformed a faithful employee’s stock Softail into an amazing custom Dirtytail and then gave it to him as a Christmas Bonus.

Check out the whole story right here and watch the video on Born To Ride TV.

Then join gallant lady riders as Women’s World rides the tail of the Dragon; a twisty road journey you won’t want to miss. We’ll also bring you a killer old school chopper known as the Glam Fairy built by Eric Allard and Josh Brennan of F&A Custom Cycles out of Lakeland, Florida as our lensman Erick Runyon captures this epic chop job and the lovely Angela along with Roscoe himself of Roscoe’s Chili Challenge.

If that’s not enough, get a great Tech Tip from John Sullivan, Nefarious James reminds us to ride our own rides, Miranda Young of Ghost Biker Explorations shows us the paranormal side of riding (more from this Tennessee ghost hunter soon), and you’ll get a biker movie review of “The Mini Skirt Mob”

by Phantom. What’s your favorite biker flick?

Join the Born To Ride Group on Facebook and let us know! Become a member and share the passion of the road with over 200,000 fellow riders per week! You’ll find

events, photos, stories, trips, rides, babes and a whole lot more. Share it, watch it, be part of it with Born To Ride online.

Speaking of, have you tuned into the Born To Ride Live streaming video show on Facebook, YouTube and Choppertown?

Catch Dave “Flashman” Morgan and yours truly every Tuesday night at 7pm EST for absolutely everything you love in the motorcycle world. Then catch up with Fester Jenkins, Mama Dukes, Ron and Deb Galletti on Boss Hogg Radio every Thursday night at 7pm EST. You’ll find both shows on Facebook.

Our Reader’s Ride this month belongs to Sturgis Motorcycle Hall of Famer and Accident Scene Management founder Vicki “Spitfire” Sanfelipo and her 1993 Harley Fatboy named “Trigger”. Think your bike has the right stuff to be seen on these glorious pages? Send photos of you and your ride to me at editor@borntoride.com. Who knows, you might just see your smilin’ mug right here in the world’s best biker magazine (in both print and digital), Born To Ride. Check all this and more out at www.borntoride.com.

Last, but far from least this month, we want to welcome our new national advertisers Mid-USA, suppliers of the best parts from A to Z for your scooter, and Metalsport Wheels, offering the amazing 3D wheels that are rocking the motorized universe. Welcome to the family.

We are proud and grateful to be your connection to the lifestyle we live. WE ARE… Born To Ride!

— Dave Nichols editor@borntoride.com

You’re riding your motorcycle to work just after sunrise, traveling down a typical suburban street lined with car-filled driveways. As you approach one of these driveways a car begins to move and backs out directly into your path. You brake hard and come to a stop just inches away from its rear bumper.

Strategy: Given the hour of day and the type of neighborhood, you could have expected to encounter at least a few drivers backing out of their driveways and heading off to work. Other clues include drivers getting into their cars as you approach, or a tell-tale puff of exhaust warning you that the car has been started and is preparing to leave. Watch for brake lights and backup lights, too.

If you observe any of the above warning signs, take the following precautions: Slow your pace and prepare to stop, if necessary.

Keep your eyes up and cover the front brake lever and rear brake pedal. Stabilize your speed so that if the car does begin to move out into your path, you have sufficient space to stop. If there isn’t room or time to slow to a stop, scan for an escape route to swerve into. If there is no oncoming traffic, swerve to the left; if this route isn’t available, consider swerving to the right.

For more information go to www.msf-usa.org

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John Shope’s Dirty Bird Concepts - Photos by John Covington - Model Chelsea Skinner - dirtybirdconcepts.com

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WARRIORS MOTORCYCLE CLUB P R E S E N T

1

ST

ANNUAL

HOMELESS VETERAN SHOE BOX CHRISTMAS

HELPING THE VETERANS WHO KEPT AMERICA SAFE, IN THEIR TIME OF NEED

DECEMBER 12, 2020 Rally point:

Lakeland Square Mall Parking Lot

3800 NORTH 98, LAKELAND FL NEAR BURLINGTON

Destination:

Honor Center

1604 SE 3RD AVE GAINESVILLE, FL 32641 Time: 0730/KSU 0815

Nashville Recording Artists South Bound 75 will be at the shelter performing an acoustic set Fill a shoe box with toiletries, snacks, socks books, candy, etc. Wrap the box and indicate if the box is for a male or female veteran. The boxes will be given to the Honor Center staff for distribution to the Homeless vets in the Shelter. The Honor Center is a Veteran Affairs homeless shelter for veteran’s only both male and female.

All riders welcome. Cages may follow behind the Motorcycles FOR MORE INFORMATION CONTACT:

WARRIORS MC WMCO PRESIDENT CRYPTO 863-513-6777 EMAIL SRO276@YAHOO.COM

Glenn H. Curtiss

The fastest man in the world ... bullets are his only rival! - 1907

“The fastest man in the world ... bullets are the only rivals of Glenn H. Curtiss of Hammondsport.” - 1907 newspaper headline Wearing a leather cap, a well-manicured moustache and a steely gaze, Glenn Hammond Curtiss stares out of a time-worn black and white postcard-like photo. In the background, frothy waves splash the beach, the very hard packed sands upon which his experimental V-8 powered motorcycle will transport him into the history books as “The Fastest Man in the World.” The day was Thursday, January 24, the year 1907 and the place, Ormond Beach on the east coast of Florida. The record … 136.3 mph, a land speed record that would stand for 11 years and then only surpassed by an automobile— the Blitzen Benz hitting 141 mph. It would not be until 1930 that a motorcycle would best Glenn Curtiss’s feat of daring-do and mechanical design.

“Ormond Beach on the east coast of Florida. The record … 136.3 mph, a land speed record that would stand for 11 years and only surpassed by an automobile ...”

The surfside setting for the famous blast down the beach had its origins a few years earlier when in 1902 influential Ormond Beach residents began promoting racing on the local beach with an inaugural automobile

On January 26, 1911, Curtiss flew the first seaplane from the water in the US, which he designed.

speed run. The sport grew in popularity and even Henry Ford showed up for an event in one of his early cars, and slept in it. At the time, he couldn’t afford a hotel room. Another “celebrity” to take up residence in Ormond Beach was John D. Rockefeller. Rockefeller wanted to live to 100 and was looking for the perfect healthy environment in order to reach the century mark (he made it to 97). Ormond Beach became a playground for the rich and famous … and those feeling the need for speed. Case in point, one Glenn H. Curtiss, a true American hero and a larger than life personality whose exploits inspired a popular series of youth books “The Adventures of Tom Swift” penned by Victor Appleton. And yes, there was one volume circa 1910 titled “Tom Swift and His Motor-Cycle or Fun and Adventures on the Road.”

Curtiss was always looking for new adventures on, or off, the road. He knew

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he could find the fast lane he needed to break the existing record at Ormond Beach. It was at Ormond Beach in 1904 where Charles Schmidt drove his Packard Gray Wolf to a world record in the kilometer at 76 mph and where, William Vanderbilt, Jr. set the world record for the one-mile, reaching 92 mph in a 90-horsepower Mercedes. These races put Ormond Beach on the speed map and brought it fame as home to 30 years of land-speed records eventually evolving into the now famous Daytona Beach 500 and the founding of NASCAR. Back in 1907, the 29-year old Glenn Curtiss had already invented or developed many of the more than 500 designs and components he would use during his lifetime.

He had a hand in the development of the Wright Brothers first airplane and additional aeronautical experiments. He also partnered BTR 22 | BORNTORIDE.COM

with Alexander Graham Bell that included developing and patenting the aircraft aileron now universally intrinsic to controlled flight.

Whether it was propeller powered or rolled on wheels, Glenn was always pushing the envelope. Although his lasting fame would rest with aircraft, it all began with motorcycles. As a result of his experiences as a bicycle racer, Western Union bicycle messenger and bicycle shop owner Curtiss became interested in motorcycles. In 1901, he began motorizing bicycles with his own single cylinder internal combustion engines, initially fashioned from tomato cans. He not only talked the talk, he walked the walk, racing what he built and earning the accolade in 1903 as the “First American Motorcycle Champion� by reaching 54.6 mph. By 1905, he set the world speed records for one, two, and three-mile events. Aside from piloting Born To Ride Magazine, Real Editorial Content, Real Value every month for you the Reader

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his speedsters he tinkered out a number of advancements including the handlebar twist grip throttle control and a triple cylinder engine designated the W-3, essentially a V-twin with a third cylinder which Curtiss himself called the fastest production motorcycle in the world.

How such ingenuity arose is one of those mysteries of nature for Curtiss was raised in near poverty and lost his parents when very young and subsequently only attained an 8th grade education. As Trafford Doherty, Director of the Curtiss Museum explains, “Curtiss was incredibly intuitive and incredibly mechanical. He was also extremely athletic and in the1890s was virtually unbeaten as a bicycle racer. He was very competitive and that competitive nature appeared first with bicycles, then motorcycles, and then with his business ventures. While of a serious Alexander Graham Bell regarded Curtiss as “the greatest motor expert in the country”.

demeanor, a man of relatively few words and not comfortable with public speaking, he was also known to be congenial among his fellows. His contributions were legion and rightly earned him the accolades as “The Henry Ford of Aviation” and “The Fastest Man in the World.”

On a cool overcast day in 1907, Glenn Curtiss made his mark, at least in the history books of motorcycling. He had been designing and building a variety of engines including singles, V-twins and inline fours, but he literally made his mark with a lightweight air-cooled V8. The power plant came into existence due to the everincreasing demand for more powerful aircraft engines for the burgeoning production of early 20th century flying machines. The recordbreaking motorcycle itself was basically a rolling, but not quite flying, test bed for the BORNTORIDE.COM | BTR 23

The overall design looked ungainly with its 4,000 cc engine suspended in what was a heavily beefed up bicycle frame with a 64-inch wheelbase.

new Curtiss 40 hp “monster” motor.

The configuration was based on a very square 3.25 x 3.25 inch bore and stroke that displaced a potent 269 cubic inches. While his preceding engines were primarily single cylinder and 50-degree V-Twins, Curtis went to a 90-degree design featuring cast iron F-type heads, as utilized on his smaller displacement power plants. Moreover, it dispensed with head gaskets, thanks to the quality of its design and manufacture. Inside the massive hunk of metal lurked a solid billet steel crank while internal lubrication was handled via a dry sump and random splash system. Under the valve covers, inlet valves were activated by atmospheric pressure while pushrods actuated the exhaust valves.

Fed by twin carbs, also Curtiss designs, the throttle cables were hidden inside the handlebars. The electrical system relied upon jump-spark Ignition energized by dry cell batteries. Although it looked ungainly with its 4,000 cc engine suspended in what was a heavily beefed up bicycle frame with a 64-inch wheelbase, the overall design benefited from a power to weight ratio (one hp per 6.8 pounds) that was advanced by any standards, especially by those of 1907, the bike tipping the scales at merely 275 lbs.

Once the machine was unloaded at Ormond Beach, Glenn Curtiss surveyed the saltsprayed four-mile course. It was divided into a two-mile section for reaching top speed, a

third mile for timing purposes, and last but not least a “slow down and stop” mile. As the bike was shaft-driven with no clutch and but one tall gear, it was an all or nothing proposition. One kept twisting the throttle and let the speed build while the screaming unmuffled pipes scattered sea birds for miles.

1906 Curtiss writes the Wright brothers offering them an aeronautical motor!

As the Curtiss Museum director comments, “It must have sounded like the Wrath of God!” Assisting Curtiss were Thomas Baldwin and longtime friend, the aptly named, “Tank” Waters. Their brawn was used to push start the machine to life. They needed to be hale and hearty fellows, and stout they were, since the bump start method often required as many as ten or more attempts to get the V8 burbling and barking.

Curtiss climbed into the saddle, positioned his goggles and gripped the handlebars, perhaps glancing down once more at the Goodrich tires biting into the beach sand, and then nodded. Fortunately, it was not the horrendously humid Florida summer months, and the two men hurled Curtiss and his V8 two-wheeler down the beach and into the history books. Taking the two miles to reach full speed, Curtiss was clocked at 136.3 mph in the timed section of the course. He would be the first man to travel one mile in 25.25 seconds, a feat of mechanical design and personal courage that earned him the title of the “fastest man on earth.” Ironically, the record was considered unofficial due to a potentially fatal mechanical problem that precluded it from running the course again under official observation. In other words, the bike broke down after only one completion through the course. The skilled and coolheaded rider that he was, Curtiss was able to bring it to a halt from the 90mph—at which BORNTORIDE.COM | BTR 25

moment parts had begun flailing about.

The matter was reported in the February 9, 1907 issue of Scientific American (and we quote): “THE FASTEST AND MOST POWERFUL AMERICAN MOTOR BICYCLE. What is unquestionably the most powerful as well as the fastest motor bicycle ever built in this country made its appearance at the races at Ormond Beach recently; but owing to the breaking of a universal joint and subsequent buckling of the frame, this machine made no official record. It was built

by Mr. G. H. Curtiss, a well-known motorbicycle maker, with the idea of breaking all records. The machine was fitted with an 8-cylinder air-cooled V-motor of 3640 horsepower. ... The total weight of the complete machine was but 275 pounds, or 6.8 pounds per horsepower. In an unofficial mile test, timed by stopwatches from the start by several persons who watched through field glasses a flag waved at the finish, Mr. Curtiss is said to have covered this distance in 26. 25 seconds, which would be at the rate of 136.3 miles per hour - a faster speed than has ever been made before by a man on any type of vehicle.

Unfortunately, before this new mile record could be corroborated by an official test, the universal joint broke while the machine was

going 90 miles an hour. ...”

In addition, armchair pundits of the day reportedly snorted with disbelief espousing their firm belief that is was a hoax or fable since no mortal man could breathe at the reported speed. It would be the V8s one and only day in the sun, the only time Glenn Curtiss would take it up to speed. But once was enough.

On July 23, 1930, at age 52 Glenn Hammond Curtiss who had so often slipped the surly bonds of Earth, did indeed breath his last breath succumbing unexpectedly to an embolism after successful surgery for appendicitis. The heart attack was also linked to the stress from ongoing litigation.

His body now rests in his birthplace of Hammondsport, New York, in Pleasant Valley Cemetery.

As for his vaunted V8 motorcycle, a bolt for bolt replica of the ferocious machine was built by the Mercury Aircraft Co. and is now on display at the Curtiss Museum. If you want to see the real McCoy, you’ll find it at the new Smithsonian Steven F. UdvarHazy Center located adjacent to the Dulles International Airport in Chantilly, VA (www. nasm.si.ed.u). As a poignant postscript, we are told by the Curtiss Museum that several of the engine’s internal parts were recycled

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by Curtiss into other projects, so in a way it lives on as does the almost legendary achievements of Glenn H. Curtiss.

Curtiss Museum: Located on Lake Keuka in Hammondsport, New York, the museum’s 57,000 sq ft features the full spectrum of Glenn Curtiss’s contributions.

On display are his many aircraft designs as well as his bicycles and motorcycles including a faithful reproduction of the record breaking V8. For more information call (607) 569-2160 or contact the Museum Director Trafford Doherty via trafford@linkny.com.

Thursday, January 24, 1907. Ormond Beach, Florida. Glenn H. Curtiss, age 29, sits astride the test bench for his new V8 269 cubic inch aircraft engine. When all was said and done, Curtiss was clocked at 136.3 mph in the timed section of the course, a feat of mechanical design and personal courage that earned him the title of “The Fastest Man in the World.” As the Curtiss Museum director Traff Doherty comments, “It must have sounded like the Wrath of God!”

By Paul Garson Photography courtesy of the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum, The Glenn H, Curtiss Museum, Roy Kidney and Jack Carpenter

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DRESS FOR THE SLIDE Well everybody, here we are in November. Elections are finally over and we are moving toward Thanksgiving.

This month I’m going to touch base on something that drives home last month’s article. Last month, I wrote about trying to be more aware while you’re on the road and how nobody’s going to look after you but you. As fate would have it, I was hit by a car that sideswiped me late on a Friday night and decided to take off and leave me on the road. Even being diligent sometimes is not enough. So, with that in mind, I am going to cover the aftermath of such an incident when it takes place.

More than likely, after an accident, you’re going to be left with some form of trauma to your body, whether it’s road rash, broken bones, or something worse than that. So let’s cover how to help prevent or minimize that damage.

We always hear the motorcycle saying, “Dress for the slide not for the ride.”

There is some truth to that statement.

Sometimes that’s very difficult to do with high temperatures and balmy weather.

So I will cover some of the things I think help out the most. Some people will tell you to always wear a helmet, but that is a whole other topic. I’ve noticed with most accidents, it ends up being the joints, meaning the knees, elbows, and your hands that take the brunt of the fall.

If you think riding a motorcycle wearing flip-flops and shorts is a great idea, you’ve obviously not kissed the pavement yet. I say “yet” because they always say it’s not if you will crash, but when you will crash.

I’ve been riding for 45 years and it still happened to me. I ride about as paranoid as you can get and still, stuff happens.

I feel there is a need for us to dress appropriately while on our motorcycles.

Let’s start from the bottom up. Boots are great protection and sandals are not.

On my crash, my boots were destroyed.

That could’ve been my feet. Imagine if I was wearing flip-flops or sneakers. That certainly would have ruined my chances of running in a marathon. Long pants are a great idea as well. Granted, it may not stop all of the damage, but it sure will decrease it compared to bare skin on asphalt. If you’re so inclined, knee protection is something to consider as well. Whether built into the pants or as a separate addition to your gear. Elbow and torso protection is also a good idea.

"If you think riding a motorcycle wearing flip-flops and shorts is a great idea, you’ ve obviously not kissed the pavement yet " I mention all of these areas because they became contact points when I went down.

Each of those areas can be extremely painful and take a long time to heal.

Last, but not least, if you don’t wanna try any of the things above, at least use gloves to protect your hands and fingers.

With your hands intact it will at least be easier to change all those bandages as well as wipe your ass and brush your teeth. Believe me, some of the simplest tasks become a chore. Sometimes a painful chore.

Keeping a small First Aid Kit on your bike, or at least a few bandannas, can also come in helpful if you go down.

Don’t just assume help is going to show up and save the day. You could be off of the road or in the middle of nowhere with

help far out of reach, if accessible at all.

Therefore, you’re going to need to learn how to do your own triage until you can either get help or help arrives. There are many first aid classes available online or at local facilities that are at your disposal.

Knowing some lifesaving techniques may do just that. It could be your life, your passenger or another rider.

I know we all think that it will never happen to us, but let me tell you, it’s definitely a possibility with the people we share the road with. Become aware of what new products are available to help you heal during your aftercare. I know I ran into some really good stuff that helped me heal faster with a lot less scarring, a lot less pain, and a lot less time to heal. Take your aftercare seriously.

Remember, chicks may dig scars, but they don’t dig infection. As always, stay diligent and ride tactically while out on our roads. Watch how much you drink or how much you party, and make sure that you’re still aware of your surroundings.

I would hate to hear of another incident that could’ve been avoided by the use of common sense. I’m hoping a lot of you take heed to what I’m saying as it may just seem like a speech to most of you, but this is our reality. As bikers, we take care of ourselves. We ride our ride and live our own lives the way we see fit. It doesn’t hurt to try to make those rides as enjoyable as possible under every condition.

I wish you all the best. And remember, this is the month of thanks. Be thankful for what you have and whatever health you have. You get one life, enjoy the hell out of it. But do it wisely so you can live it longer. Ride safe and I’ll see you out there.

NEFARIOUS JAMES AMERICAN BORNTORIDE.COM | BTR 31

FRESH FROM THE MOVIE ROUGH BOYS AND SOON IN YOUR GARAGE!

When biker blues musician and film

maker Charlie Brechtel was coming up with the idea of doing the movie Rough Boys, he had a brainstorm that involved spicing the biker movie up with a side

plot involving a long lost golden chopper.

The idea was that viewers of the film would be able to enter a raffle and actually win this legendary long bike. But then the movie’s executive producer, Dennis Sanfilippo asked Charlie, “Who’s gonna build this special chopper?” That’s when I made a few well-placed phone calls. First call was Ron Paugh, owner of Paughco Motorcycle Accessories. Once Ron was

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told the idea of this bike build and the movie connection he was all in. The second call was to Mondo Porras of Denver’s Choppers. Mondo jumped all in when he heard Ron was involved. Both companies have been in the motorcycle industry for over 50 years; Paughco is known for making everything you need to build a custom or classic Harley from the ground up, they even do their own in-house chrome plating. Mondo is the Godfather of choppers, famous for his extended Springer front ends in the proud Denver’s Choppers tradition as seen in the 18-over Springer on the Gold Chopper. Both companies are in Nevada, Paughco is in Carson City and Denver’s Choppers is in Reno. Together, BORNTORIDE.COM | BTR 33

they offer the perfect pairing to create the unique Golden Chopper on these pages.

This article focuses on Paughco’s and Mondo’s involvement with the glorious panhead that you can win! From frames, tanks and fenders, to custom exhaust, handlebars and much more, Paughco is your one-stop-shop for custom, OEM, obsolete and aftermarket Harley parts, all manufactured in their enormous facility and made in the USA. We caught up with project leader Steve Massicotte along with bike builder and fab specialist Kyle Brewer. Paughco is famously the BTR 34 | BORNTORIDE.COM

place where “old school never went out of style” and this Golden Chopper is proof of that ideal.

Thinking back to the fateful day that I made those phone calls, Steve recalls that Ron decided on a classic rigid chopper similar to the one he and the crew built to be the cover bike of Paughco’s 50th Anniversary catalog. “In talking with Mondo, Charlie and Dennis, I explained that the problem with giving away an old school custom chopper is that they are often difficult to get registered unless they have a pre-1969

Harley motor,” Steve says. “The older Harley registration Title numbers were linked to the motor numbers rather than the frame.”With that in mind, Steve went to S&S Cycle and discussed the challenge. “Dave Zelma and Scott Hakins at S&S suggested that we use older Harley cases and S&S would supply all the internals so that we have a brand new motor in this bike with old cases that case be used to title and register the motorcycle.” That solved, Billy at B&B Racing had a set of 1962 Harley Panhead cases with title and proceeded

Source: Paughco Motorcycle Accessories 800-423-2621 www.paughco.com

“PAUGHCO IS FAMOUSLY THE PLACE WHERE OLD SCHOOL NEVER WENT OUT OF STYLE AND THE GOLDEN CHOPPER IS PROOF OF THAT IDEAL”

to build the motor and rebuild the transmission. With the motor and tranny in the works, Steve and Kyle and Mondo got together to plan the overall style and build theme. They decided on a 4-inches up, 2-inches out rigid chopper frame and then created the special one off 1960’s-style Mustang-inspired long thin gas tank from Paughco’s 830 tank shells.

Meanwhile, Mondo at Denver’s built the 18-inch over Springer front end. Most everything you see here is from Paughco.

Kyle hand built the wild sissy bar, handlebars, exhaust pipes, seat brackets

and more. Details include the one off custom hand-made ’60’s chopper-style seat by Bob Jr at LePera while Scott at BDL supplied the clutch and belt drive and Tyler at Michelin handled the tires.

Since this legendary chopper from the movie Rough Boys had to be GOLD, Steve went to Old School Jim for the metalflake paintjob. Jim also painted the Paughco 50th Anniversary chopper.

He has a true understanding of the old school look. Though this chopper has the classic 1960’s long bike look down, it benefits from a new motor and such Denver’s Choppers 775-813-1994 denverschoppers.com

intricate details as a stock OEM 1967 hydraulic rear brake and period correct

1969 Honda front brake made to match the look of that long Springer.Once Steve and Kyle got the scoot assembled, they took it to Mondo’s shop in Reno so he could do his magic on the custom wiring on this winning ride. And speaking of winning, YOU can win this dream bike. Watch the movie Rough Boys for details on how to win this one-of-a-kind motorcycle.Visit www.roughboysmovie. com for more details.

— DAVE NICHOLS

BORNTORIDE.COM | BTR 35

C-3PO READS IT!

Women’s World RIDING THE TAIL OF THE DRAGON

Sam Nabb of Wilmington, Delaware works in bookkeeping and accounting for a FlameTech® store that her brother manages.

That’s where she met Wayne who installs fireplaces. It wasn’t long before they started dating and eventually married.

One weekend while on vacation in Virginia, Sam and Wayne rented scooters to ride around the town. They had a blast!

Sam (short for Sandee) had never ridden a scooter or motorcycle before, and Wayne hadn’t ridden since he was a kid.

Back at home, they decided to look at scooters since they’d had so much fun. They came home from the store with matching Yamaha

see a woman riding and are encouraging.

Sam and Wayne love to ride and have taken several motorcycle vacations. The first was to Pennsylvania for a weekend where they saw many covered bridges. On another, they rode 10 hours to Niagara Falls. They love to ride the long, twisty backroads.

When they married in Colorado in 2017, they rented a trike and toured around together. While riding on the back allowed her to enjoy the scenery and take pictures, Sam didn’t like being a passenger.

Earlier

as she maneuvered the dips and angles.

Leaning right, then immediately leaning left.

According to TailOfTheDragon.com this road, which begins at Deals Gap on the Tennessee/North Carolina state line, is 318 curves in an 11-mile stretch of highway US 129. It’s one of the most popular places in the country for sports cars and motorcycles.

Every curve is different on this unique section of highway. The tight turns and steep ‘S” curves make it a totally thrilling ride. The Dragon has been featured in several movies including “The Fugitive” and “Two-Lane Blacktop.”

“It was amazing!” Sam said. She couldn’t wait until she got home to let her brother know that she’d ridden the Tail of The

Virago 250s. From January through May they practiced riding around the neighborhood. In May they took the MFS class which was both eye-opening and fun.

After putting 4,000 miles on the 250s they traded up for Harley Sportsters. A few months later she had an accident and totaled the bike, but she walked away with only bruises. Within a few months, they both got H-D Street Glide Specials. Since she’s only 5’ 2” she had hers lowered to better fit her size.

Sometimes someone will comment on what a big bike that is for such a small woman. Overall people seem impressed to

this year they took a trip to Pigeon Forge, Tennessee and enjoyed riding the curvy mountain roads. Sam’s brothers both ride and one of them told her and Wayne about the Tail of the Dragon in the Smokey Mountains.

The GPS said they were about twenty minutes away from the Tail of the Dragon when she saw a sign. “CAUTION MOTORCYCLES: High Crash Area next 11 miles.” She knew this was it. With hearts pumping and adrenaline racing, they started on The Dragon.

“Oh, my Goodness!” Sam thought. “My God, what am I doing?” she asked herself

Dragon! “He can’t stop saying how happy he is!” she said. Happy that she and Wayne got to experience that exhilarating ride. (Maybe secretly just happy they both survived it!)

Sam has two adult children. Her son rides a Sportster. Her daughter hasn’t shown any interest in riding but seems very proud of her Mom riding.

Sam and Wayne plan to celebrate their fifth wedding anniversary by going back to Colorado. This time rather than flying and renting bikes; they’ll ride across the country on their own motorcycles. In the meantime, they’ll enjoy riding any chance they get!

If you or someone you know has a unique story contact Myra@MyraMcElhaney.com.

BORNTORIDE.COM | BTR 37

Inside the Harley Milwaukee FINALLY, A BETTER OILING SYSTEM If Harley’s Twin-Cam powered bikes had an Achilles heel, it was the motor’s oiling system. During the twenty some years that it was produced, a lot of people looked into and worked on this problem. Most of the attention was directed at the oil pump, its pressure relief valve and the mounting plate. Harley’s Screamin’ Eagle performance division, and more than a couple of aftermarket companies, developed hi-volume oil pumps and hi-flow cam plates that featured adjustable oil pressure regulator valves, other companies came up with regulator valve modification kits, some of which worked, while others didn’t.

In designing the Milwaukee-8 motor, Harley took a very long look at the Twin-Cam’s oiling system and came up with three changes to improve the new motors’ oil system. The first change was moving the oil pressure regulating valve to the oil pump housing. The second change involves the pressure regulator piston; it now has a step, instead of a taper on its closed end.

The outer edge of the step is of a larger diameter than the hole in the oil pump’s bypass port, which makes a much more secure closure of the bypass port. The third change is in the actual oil pump itself; like the oil pump used in Twin-Cam motors, the Milwaukee-8’s oil pump is a double gyrotor system: a pressure pump and a scavenge pump. But the new oil pump is fitted with much larger diameter gyrotor assemblies, which increases the pumps’ volume. The scavenge pump’s gyrotor is also about 50% thicker than the pressure gyrotor. This increases the volume of oil that can be removed from the crankcase.

THE THUNDERHEADER SYSTEM NOT ONLY GAVE THIS LOW RIDER S A GREAT LOOK AND SOUND, IT REALLY WOKE UP THOSE 110-INCHES OF SCREAMIN’ EAGLE V-TWIN.

So, if you want a good reason to make the switch to a Milwaukee-8 powered bike, we just gave you three.

Sources: Harley-Davidson Motor Company Harley-Davidson.com

BTR 38 | BORNTORIDE.COM

- John Sullivan THE CAM PLATE IS SECURED WITH SIX ALLEN HEAD BOLTS AND THE OIL PUMP IS ATTACHED TO THE CAM PLATE WITH FOUR ALLEN HEAD BOLTS. THIS CAM PLATE IS PRESSURE DIE-CAST. IT FEATURES INTEGRAL BEARINGS FOR THE CRANKSHAFT AND CAMSHAFT. TO PULL THE CAM PLATE, YOU MUST REMOVE ALL TEN OF THESE BOLTS. THE OIL PUMPS WILL STAY MOUNTED ON THE RIGHT END OF THE CRANKSHAFT.

- 8 Big -Twin

THIS EXPOSES THE INNER CAM CHEST, THE CAMSHAFT AND THE OIL PUMPS. SO HERE’S THE BIG DIFFERENCE: THE NEW MOTORS USE A SINGLE CAMSHAFT, WHICH, IS NOW DRIVEN DIRECTLY FROM THE CRANKSHAFT BY A HYDRAULICALLY TENSIONED CHAIN.

THE MILWAUKEE-8’S OILING SYSTEM CONSISTS OF A PAIR OF GYROTOR OIL PUMPS, THE PUMP HOUSING, ITS BACK PLATE AND A PRESSURE RELIEF VALVE. THE PRESSURE SIDE OF THE OIL PUMP (SHOWN) USES A TEN-LOBE GYROTOR PUMP THAT FITS INSIDE OF THE OIL PUMP HOUSING.

THE PRESSURE REGULATOR PISTON SEALS AGAINST A PORT ON THE INSIDE OF THE OIL PUMP HOUSING. THE OIL PRESSURE REGULATOR VALVE CONSISTS OF A STEEL PISTON, WHICH HAS A STEP ON ITS HEAD, A COMPRESSION SPRING AND A SPLIT PIN THAT HOLDS THEM INSIDE OF THE CAM PLATE.

THIS IS A COMPARISON OF THE PRESSURE SIDE GYROTOR ASSEMBLIES OF THE TWIN-CAM MOTOR, LEFT, AND THE MILWAUKEE-8 MOTOR, RIGHT. THE MILWAUKEE-8’S LARGER GYROTOR ASSEMBLY SHOULD ABOUT DOUBLE ITS OIL VOLUME TO THE MOTOR’S INTERNAL PARTS.

If you have a Tech Tip you would like to see, let us know at editor@borntoride.com

BORNTORIDE.COM | BTR 39

Confusion and chaos pretty much sums up this movie. It is the modern day version of all the biker exploitation “B” movies ever made.

Curiously, Larry Bishop (as Pistolero) appeared in a variety of films including The Savage Seven, Mad Dog Time and Kill Bill to name a few. His collaboration with Quentin Tarantino in this most recent effort, would lead one to believe that “Hell Ride” is a major cinematic production destined for the A list. Sadly, it falls short of that mark.

The story revolves around Pistolero and his gang “the Victors.”

The main characters are himself, the Gent and Comanche who set out to avenge the death of his ol lady Cherokee Kisum. Cherokee, it seems, was murdered by the 666er’s, a rival gang. But wait, let’s back up! This is exactly what makes the flick so confusing. … We flash back and forth from 35 years back to 35 years forward.

It seems that Bishop as the writer, director, and star is the only one who understands what is going on at any given time. I was lost after viewing it twice, but again I digress.

The film is soaked with girls, drugs, and murder. I like all those facets in a biker exploitation film, but the chaotic pace leaves one

wondering where the plot is. It seems the Victors MC have an underlying code of deceit and distrust. As the movie rolls along, several of the members of gang are killed by the Gent and other Victors—leaving only Pistolero, the Gent, and Comanche in the gang. Ahhh, but there is another member hiding in the desert! Eddie Zero, played by Dennis Hopper appears as a (possibly retired) member of the gang. How they were able to get Hopper to appear in this mess was a mystery in itself, and I was surprised, and entertained for a moment until I saw David Carradine playing rival gang member “The Duce.” Evidently, the Duce and Pistolero had some under-the-table dealings and this conflict led to the ongoing battle between the two clubs.

The 666er’s use arrows and darts to carry out their hits while the Victors use the more conventional revolvers, available at Wal-Mart. The Victors trademark murders–you will see a few of these involve the tying of one to a chair, the cutting of the throat, and the soaking of the subject in gasoline, which is then ignited by the tossing of a Zippo lighter, also available at WalMart. Somewhere in my recall, it seems to me that this ritual was borrowed from the 666er’s when they did in Cherokee Kisum.

In the end, the Victors cut off the Duce’s head, and Eddie Zero delivers it to the 666er’s hangout in a nice wicker basket (see Wal-Mart above). He departs and rides off down the road until his motor quits for some reason. He gets off his vintage ride to repair it, and sees the 666er’s pull up behind him. The leader of the 666er’s, (played by Vinnie Jones) shoots him in the back with a dart fired from an air powered device that looks like a Shark Gun. He collapses on the highway. Much to the 666er’s surprise the Victors pull up behind them and the Gent kills all of them, but only wounds Jones who falls to the pavement.

Pistolero in a strange twist of role, shoots Jones with a small crossbow, then reloads and fires a dart into Jones’ gas tank. As the fuel surrounds Jones, who is bleeding cussing and etc, one of the Victors cuts his throat, and Pistolero tosses the classic Zippo into the pool of gas. In the next frame, Hopper gets up off the pavement, and removes his armor-laden jacket – arrow still intact- and hands it to his girl who gives him a similar jacket. They depart the scene, and the three meet in the desert where the 666er’s had previously buried some sort of lockbox containing some sort of (something). …

There are three keys that have 666 stamped into them. There is a short argument, and Comanche digs up the lock box and the others give him the three keys. What’s in that thing you ask? You will never know, because the shot shows only Comanche’s face from the inside as he opens the box. I think it was empty, but what do I know? The trio then fire up their motors and ride off in three different directions as the credits roll.

If you are a fan of naked ladies, cool classic motorcycles, and blood and guts, this film is for you! However, if you were expecting a plot, a story line, or a coherent slide show of pleasant desert scenes you aren’t gonna be too happy.

Tarantino once told Bishop “It is your destiny to write, direct, and star in a movie.” Sometimes destiny is not all it’s cracked up to be! I would reluctantly give this film 2 out of 5 stars, because there were two REAL stars exploited in this mess. It is rated R for ridiculous, and runs approximately 86 minutes. In my opinion it should be 86’ed altogether.

Do you have a favorite Biker Movie we don’t have? Let us know: info@borntoride.com

The Phantom Movie Review

BORNTORIDE.COM | BTR 41

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THE TANK WHISPERER MAKES YOUR OLD TANKS LAST FOREVER

The heart and soul of your bike is the fuel tank.

Originally, the tank was new and clean, but over the years that all has changed. If you are tired of cleaning carburetors or think you need a new tank because yours is too rusty or it leaks, I have the solution. We clean tanks and preserve the metal – even permanently stop leaks! The highgrade epoxy coating we use is second to none; we can even remove most Kreem and Red-Kote liners.

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HALL OF FAMER VICKI “SPITFIRE” SANFELIPO AND TRIGGER, HER 1993 HARLEY SOFTAIL

Accident Scene Management founder, Vicki “Spitfire” Sanfelipo, was inducted into the Sturgis Motorcycle Museum Hall of Fame in August of 2020. Known as “Spitfire” by her friends, Vicki certainly lives up to that moniker. Ever since starting to ride motorcycles in the late 1980s, she’s been a bundle of energy. The single parent raised three young daughters and became a Registered Nurse at a hospital in Wausau, Wisconsin, finally settling in the surgery department.

In 1987 Vicki bought her first motorcycle and then in 1995, she joined the Governor’s Motorcycle tours as the only female Road Captain and ride nurse. Shortly after, she attended a workshop presented by “Slider Gilmore” entitled Two Wheel Trauma.

Gilmore, an EMT in Iowa, lectured on how to treat injured motorcyclists before professional help arrived.

Vicki’s every day ride is “Trigger”, her customized 1993 Harley that started life as a Fatboy. The only original parts left are the Energized by Gilmore’s presentation, and with his blessing, Vicki frame, transmission and rear wheel. The motor is an S&S 100ci authored a program she named Accident Scene Management 4x4 with a 585 cam and S&S shorty “E” carb as well as a (ASM), and along with three fellow nurses from Wausau Hospital, Crane single fire ignition. began teaching a “hands-on” class to riders in Wisconsin. The Other details include Indian Larry rotors and GMA brakes up Wisconsin Department of Transportation learned of her efforts and front, a Springer front end and LED headlight, Chubby beach supported her in presenting more classes for anyone interested. bars and a custom seat by Leather and Lead. The pipes are Her devotion to education and saving lives led Vicki to leave White Brother Porker upsweeps and Trigger’s Taildragger rear her nursing career and devote her time as a volunteer director, fender includes a Tombstone taillight and a full “real” horse tail. educator and instructor trainer for ASM. Today, with instructors The custom paint is by TS Customs and the graphic on the gas in states across the U.S. and in other countries, thousands of tanks says it all. Ride forever, Spitfire! students have been trained in roadside assistance at motorcycle

— Chopper Daddy Dave crashes.

BTR 52 | BORNTORIDE.COM

Send photos and information of you and your motorcycle to editor@borntoride.com

RONNIE and EMILY’S

CHRISTIAN MOTORCYCLISTS ASSOCIATION It’s important to remember to take a moment before a ride, and to make sure you have considered the anticipated challenges that can pop up. You want to call on that planning time as a way of preparing for the ride itself. Just like taking a moment to get out of bed in the morning, so should a moment be taken prior to any ride. That way you can make sure that both you and the bike are ready for an adventure. That will help you ride with confidence and excitement.

Another approach as you prepare for a ride is to spend a few minutes alone with the bike and give it a thorough inspection. Just like reviewing the ride route, you want the bike to run well and keep you safe from a breakdown. It is amazing what potential problems can be revealed in just a few short minutes of focused examination. Such a checkup can also help point out maintenance issues before they become dangerous.

I like to take time to visualize the way I want the ride to go. You can also continue that review, even after the ride is underway. Often I have found such a review will lead to a successful ride and happier fellow riders. If one is serving as the Road Captain on a particular ride, it only takes few

minutes, in advance, to print out a ride plan so the riders know where to go should they be separated from the group.

That form of communication is of great benefit to the riders in a group and it removes a situation by which a rider can get lost from the group.

Finally, when the ride is done, take time to think about and review how it went; hat went well, and what could be improved for the next outing. Take a few moments to see how the ride was received, and if the route and scenery were pleasing.

Did you hit any really bad roads, and are you going to make notes in an appropriate file? Were the vendors friendly and did they make an effort to make the riders feel welcome? Did the shops where you stopped for refreshments communicate their pleasure in serving your group and make you feel welcome to visit them again?

In the Bible, in Ephesians 6:18, it says, “Pray in the Spirit at all times with all kinds of prayers, asking for everything you want.” Just as we are encouraged to communicate with ourselves and others, we are challenged to hear the Spirit.

One of the great benefits in praying in that way is when we receive those wonderful answers. Best of all is the fact that praying brings you closer to God, and His love for you.

So pray at all times with all kinds of prayers and all kinds of needs and desires. God loves you and wants the very best for you, so talk with Him today.

In the Wind, Denny Dingler

Check out BornToRide.com for more articles from Christian Motorcyclists Association

BORNTORIDE.COM | BTR 53

WELCOME TO TURKEYPOCOLYPSE!

Here we go again, my BTR friends. ‘Tis the season to be squeezing.’ Time for the gratitude attitude. Time for families to be together. Time for loved ones to be face to face, celebrate, and reconnect. Time for histories to be re-lived and memories to be made. Time for…

Mike breaks in, “What are you squawking about, birdbrain? Have you been watching too many Hallmark Channel movies? Been in my closet looking at old photo albums? Chewing on the scented pine cones grandma gave me years ago?

Wake up, stop eating pieces of gingerbread and roasted chestnuts from the bottom of the memory box, and get a grip! It’s 2020, the Covid era, nobody’s going anywhere. We’re all video conferencing each other from our phones, computers, and tablets by the way of Facetime, Skype, or Zoom. The closest we’re getting to one another is the touch screen and speakerphone. Reminiscing will be more like; do you remember who you had last contact with outside your home or when was your last Covid-19 test or do you have enough toilet paper?”

I cackle, “Dude, I’m trying to help everybody forget 2020 and all you do is throw it in their faces as if it were pumpkin pie. I still want people to believe in the magic called ‘the holiday season.’

But, they should start by changing the name of Thanksgiving to something more fitting like turkeypocolypse, BTR 54 | BORNTORIDE.COM

turkey-gedden, or gobble/wobble day.”

Mike slaps his forehead and says, “That’s plucking hilarious! No matter what the name, it’s going to be nothing but fluids, food, and froth until my pants button pops, goes flying across the room, and almost puts grandma’s eye out! Let me ask you something, Spyke. What do you call your cousin’s the day after Thanksgiving?”

I squabble, “Don’t know dude, maybe an Uber, leftovers, or late for his own party?”

Mike replies, “No, you funky-colored chicken, you call ‘em pardoned and blessed!” He walks away laughing as I just sit on my perch, lower my head, and think about Tom, my kin, on his sad upcoming day.

I look back at last year when Mike allowed Tom to soak up some sun beside me at the pool before showing me what ‘sharing the hot seat’ in the kitchen really meant. I pecked out this poem, only to his dismay. I really wish I could tell him in some other way: O cousin Tom O cousin Tom How lovely are thy feathers.

O cousin Tom O cousin Tom I wish I could tell you something better.

Humans celebrate Turkey Day by putting your carcass on display.

O cousin Tom O cousin Tom You thought that Mike had friends who came to greet you.

O cousin Tom O cousin Tom They just gathered here to eat you!

O cousin Tom O cousin Tom His biker family is all together.

O cousin Tom O cousin Tom They’re all a bunch of fickled feathers.

O cousin Tom O cousin Tom Being in the family is so fab.

Mike prays they stay out of rehab.

O cousin Tom O cousin Tom They’ll drink away your memory.

Then pass out from food coma serenity.

O cousin Tom O cousin Tom In less than a month, they’ll use you again.

Cooking your brother from the other mother and chanting Christmas obscenities.

Mike walks in and catches the last of my poem. He blurts out, “Aww Spyke, that touches my heart when you talk about family. It really means something to me, but let me ask you, what does it mean when a bunch of them run across the road a couple of times?”

I scratch my head with one wing and answer, “Dude, I don’t know. Maybe they were lost, scared or blind?”

Mike babbles, “No, peanut breath. They were just proving one thing; they weren’t chicken! Maybe you’ll get this one. What do they call the quickest ones that run across the road?”

I think for a second then cackle, “I know, they’re the ones that made it through this fowl and awful holiday. I call them lucky!”

Mike rolls his eyes and says, “No, my little buddy, just fast food! Speaking of fast, I think you’re fading and in need of some wind therapy. But definitely not the convection type!”

I squawk, “You’re right, Mike! Pick my feathered ass up and plop me in the truck. Get your knees under the keys, my wings in the wind of the sunroof, and its wheels rolling down the road.”

– SPYKE