Contents
December Issue 175
Ad Index
Features QS&L Halloween Horror Bikes Bert’s St. Pete Bike Fest Scott Odell-Stand Out in a Crowd Wreaths Across America Fran Haasch Cam-Am Ryker Test Ride Roscoe’s Chili Challenge
8 13 25 32 42 53
Columns
32
Everywhere Eddy-Is Everywhere Night Train- Business & Pleasure Spyke & Mike-Mrs Claus Christian Motorcycle Association
40 51 56 70
Departments Contents 2 Born To Ride Events-BornToRide.com 66
Reports
53
It’s Coming-Steel Stilettos 46 Rob Brooks-Wonder of the Wise Men 49 Craig Can Fix It 65 Be Prepaired Self Protection 69
On The Cover
Wreaths Across America, Fran Haasch Remember, Honor, Teach www.wreathsacrossamerica.org
Start Born To Ride TV and Magazine in your city! Call 888-795-5779 The information contained herein is provided by Born To Ride Magazine or by its advertisers. BTR makes every effort to present accurate and reliable information in the issue. Born To Ride Magazine does not endorse, approve, or certify such information, nor does it guarantee the accuracy, completeness, efficacy, timeliness or correct sequencing of such information throughout this magazine. Use of such information is voluntary on your part, and reliance on it should only be undertaken after your independent review. Reference herein to any specific manufacturer, company, commercial product, process, or service by trade name, trademark, service mark, or otherwise does not constitute or imply endorsement of or recommendation of said by Born To Ride Magazine.” “Born To Ride Magazine (including its employees, contributors and agents) assumes no responsibility for consequences that may result from the use of the information herein, including the use of the information obtained at www.borntoride.com and it’s linked sites, or in any respect for the content of such information, including (but not limited to) errors or omissions, the accuracy or reasonableness of factual or scientific assumptions, studies or conclusions, ownership of copyright or other intellectual property rights, and the violation of property, privacy, or personal rights of others. BTR Magazine is not responsible for damages of any kind arising out of use, reference to, or reliance on such information. No guarantees or warranties, including (but not limited to) any express or implied warranties are made by BTR Magazine with respect to such information contained throughout the site.” No part may be copied without written permission of the publisher, Born To Ride, Inc. P.O. Box 3021, Brandon, FL 33509. 888-795-5779, Fax 813-689-2996.
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AAA 6 Affordable Motorsports 59 Allstate - Jeff Ard 46 Attorney Fran Haasch IFC, BC Barney’s Motorcycles 44 Biff Burger 23, 24 BTR Facebook 64 BTR Lifestyle 58 BTR Radio 28 BTR TV-This TV Tampa Bay 65 BTR TV-Great 38 66 BTR TV-ABC 20 71 BTR Born To Ride YouTube 68 Budweiser 38 Charlottes Webb 56 CJ Seats 68 Cycle-Rama 50 Cycle Stop 61, 68 Gibtown Bike Fest 16 Happy New Years Fireworks 4 H-D Bert’s Barracuda 12 H-D Crystal 72, IBC H-D Florida 39 H-D Lakeland 22 H-D Rossiters 19 H-D SpaceCoast 5 H-D Treasure Coast 21 H-D War Horse 72 Larry Buck-Financial Advisor 50 Leasure Automotive 59 Love Jugs 70 Masters Bike Builders Show 17, 18 Media Design Shop 61 Pinellas Park Bike Fest 10 Progressive Insurance 3 Quaker Steak & Lube 7 Old Town Bike Night 20 Rivers Edge Bar & Grill 36, 37 Salty Shamrock 45 Screwie Louie’s-Scooter Haven 41 Self Protection Essentials 69 Sonny’s Real Pit Bar-B-Q 52 Suncoast Brotherhood Toy Run 48 Swaparama 62 The Ride Factory 64 Thunder By The Bay 28 Tropic Trailer 64 Twilight Zone 30 Vietnam/Legacy Vets Toy Run 47 Wreaths Across America 35
BORN TO RIDE Magazine
PO BOX 3021 Brandon, FL 33509
PUBLISHER
Ron Galletti 813-785-3895 rg@borntoride.com CO PUBLISHER
Deb Galletti dgalletti@borntoride.com ART DIRECTOR
Shawn Jones art@borntoride.com EDITORIAL DIRECTOR
Jesse Williams jwilliams@borntoride.com ART DEPARTMENT
Seth Wuertz, Juan Guzman, Jarred Hartman art@borntoride.com WEB DESIGN/ELECTRONIC MEDIA
Juan Guzman
DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY
Jesse Williams
OFFICE ADMINISTRATION
Nancy Ray nray@borntoride.com
MULTI-MEDIA SPECIALIST
Seth Wuertz
THE EVERYWHERE TEAM
Everywhere Eddy & Lynne Motejaitis Knight ROAD CREW
Vick Velosity, Kenny Bowers, Doug Bright, Mr. Clean, Bam Bam, Birdman Mike ROAD DIRT/TEST RIDE
Rob Brooks 678-469-0690 SCENIC RIDE CONSULTANT
Steve Finzelber-Finz Finds CONTRIBUTORS
Neale Bayly, Paul Garson, Spyke & Mike, Susan Hurst, Eric Albright, Rob Brooks, Eric Vician, Myra McElhaney, Paul Murray PHOTOGRAPHERS
Ron & Selena Hawks, Chris Miller, Scott Odel, Eric Albright, Rob Brooks, Tom Seiter, Billy Wright
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“The Best Halloween Bike Night we’ve ever had Thanks to Born To Ride & Fran Haasch” Bill Church
Every Wednesday Night, the Largest Bike Night on the Planet, Happy Holidays & Happy New Year.
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Lock in your 2019 Room Package Reservation! Call 800-360-4017, Nov 20-24, 2019
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Born To Ride Magazine, Real Editorial Content, Real Value every month for you the Reader
Lock in your 2019 Room Package Reservation! Call 800-360-4017, Nov 20-24, 2019
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I must confess, the Isle of Man TT has pulled me in deep. Unless you have gone to the greatest race on earth, it is hard to explain. Being a photographer, I have thousands of photographs that blend all together in the sea of photographers. I started BTR 26 | BORNTORIDE.COM
looking at my pictures and could see that I needed to stand out in the crowd. I have an art background and all the tools I needed, so I let my brain take over. It didn’t take long to finish my first work of art, well actually it did and
6 months later, I have completed over 100 of them. Some of them are simple, some are complicated and some of them are completely off the hook! The process seems to evolve every time I sit down to the computer and pull out my graphics pad.
Born To Ride Magazine, Real Editorial Content, Real Value every month for you the Reader
2018 was a very sad year in the road racing world as we lost 3 great racers that competed on the Isle of Man course. I spent a very long time working on a tribute that included all 3 in it, Dan Kneen, James Cowton, and William Dunlop. I have
included the 3 men in quite a few of my pictures because it keeps their memory living and helps heal the heart. All of my images did start as a photograph. I usually start one by changing it to a black and white
image, then make an outline of the motorcycle and rider and then I let my imagination take over the digital brush. I have made some very plain, mundane pictures into something that I never would have planned and imagined. I may add multiple images BORNTORIDE.COM | BTR 27
together or I isolate just a part of the picture. One of the last ones I did was of Peter Hickman, the winner of the 2018 Senior TT race. It started as a boring, poorly lit photograph with a cluttered background. it was just a snapshot. I painted the background black, pumped up the color and went to work on the lighting … it turned
into one of my favorite works! I am headed back to the Isle of Man in 2019 and will be spending 9 days photographing the men and women that make up this little thing called the Isle of Man TT. It will be my 3rd trip across the pond and hopefully not my last. I have been involved with Born To
Ride for a very long time and I thank Ron for letting me share my passion whenever I can. I have a website, www.scottfodell.com if anyone is interested in seeing more of my work. I am still a photographer, I just need to stand out in the crowd a little louder.
“Scott is a true Moto-Journalist, Artist & Kick Ass Photographer, so proud to have him in BTR” Ron Galletti
Scott Odell
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“We had the privilege of visiting Wreaths Across America’s National Headquarters in Columbia Falls, Maine. Although we have sponsored the wreath laying event in Bushnell for several years, touring their facility and forest gave us a true appreciation of the meaning “From Stem to Stone.” Morrill Worcester, his family and volunteers do such an incredible job teaching our youth the importance of honoring those who made the ultimate sacrifice protecting our freedom. It was truly humbling to learn and understand their mission: Remember our fallen US Veterans, Honor those who serve, Teach your children the value of freedom!”
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THE WREATHS STORY
Remembering his boyhood experience Morrill Worcester, owner of Worcester at Arlington, Worcester realized he had Wreath Company of Harrington, Maine, an opportunity to honor our country’s Veterans. With the help of Maine was a 12-year-old paper boy for the Bangor Daily News when he won a trip Senator Olympia Snowe, arrangements were made for the wreaths to be placed to Washington D.C. His first trip to our nation’s capital was one he would never at Arlington in one of the older sections forget, and Arlington National Cemetery of the cemetery, a section which had made an especially indelible impression been receiving fewer visitors with each passing year. on him. This experience followed him As plans were underway, a number throughout his life and successful career of other individuals and organizations in business, reminding him that his good stepped up to help. James Prout, fortune was due, in large part, to the owner of local trucking company Blue values of this nation and the Veterans who made the ultimate sacrifice for their Bird Ranch, Inc., generously provided transportation all the way to Virginia. Country. Volunteers from the local American In 1992, Worcester Wreath found Legion and VFW Posts gathered with themselves with a surplus of wreaths members of the community to decorate nearing the end of the holiday season.
each wreath with traditional red, handtied bows. Members of the Maine State Society of Washington, D.C. helped to organize the wreath-laying, which included a special ceremony at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. The annual tribute went on quietly for several years, until 2005, when a photo of the stones at Arlington, adorned with wreaths and covered in snow, circulated around the internet. Suddenly, the project received national attention. Thousands of requests poured in from all over the country from people wanting to help with Arlington, to emulate the Arlington project at their National and State cemeteries, or to simply share their stories and thank Morrill Worcester for honoring our nation’s heroes. Unable to donate thousands of wreaths to each state, Worcester began sending seven wreaths to every state, one for each branch of the military, and for POW/MIAs. In 2006, with the help of the Civil Air Patrol and other civic organizations, simultaneous wreath-laying ceremonies were held at over 150 locations around the country. The Patriot Guard Riders volunteered as the escort for the wreaths going to Arlington. This began the annual
“Veterans Honor Parade” that travels the east coast in early December. The annual trip to Arlington and the groups of volunteers eager to participate in Worcester’s simple wreath-laying event grew each year until it became clear the desire to remember and honor our country’s fallen heroes was bigger than Arlington and bigger than this one company. In 2007, the Worcester family,
Remember the fallen, honor those who serve, teach our children the cost of freedom
along with veterans, and other groups and individuals who had helped with their annual Christmas wreath ceremony in Arlington, formed Wreaths Across America, a non-profit 501-c3 organization, to continue and expand this effort, and support other groups around the country who wanted to do the same. The mission of the group is simple: Remember. Honor. Teach. www.wreathsacrossamerica.org
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THE FLORIDA CONNECTION:
Cemetery this year, those wreaths will be placed on 1 December. The wreaths Wreaths Across America’s mission left from Dulles Airport and are currently is to “Remember” our fallen veterans worldwide, “Honor” those that have and in route to France. It is estimated that are serving, and to “Teach” our children 2 million wreaths will be placed on about Patriotism, and what our veterans veterans graves this year, at over 1,600 cemeteries which 15 are in your viewing and their families sacrifice to preserve area. To find a location you can go to the freedoms that we enjoy. Started in Arlington in 1992 and has wreathsacrossamerica.org. The date for covered every headstone in Arlington for Wreaths Across America this year is December 15th. the past five years. This year Wreaths Our wreath goal at Florida National Across America will be at over 1,600 Cemetery in Bushnell, FL is 30,000 cemeteries in the US and for the first wreaths, last year we placed over time, Wreaths will cover ever marble 27,000 wreaths. We are currently short cross at the Normandy American Cemetery in Normandy, France! Wreaths of our goal by 15,000 wreaths. Wreath placing will begin approx. 10:40 AM and Across America received approval to our ceremony will begin approx. 11:40 place 9,387 wreaths on every white marble cross at the Normandy American AM. We generally have upwards of
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9,000 people attend our wreath placing and ceremony. The USCENTCOM CoS will be our keynote speaker this year, and the USCENTCOM All Service Color Guard will be posting and retiring the colors. We also feature two motorcycle escorts for the wreaths going to the cemetery, one escort which stages and leaves from Poly Technic University, and the other out of the Walmart Distribution Center in Brooksville, FL. Leave times will vary. The wreaths will arrive at both the Walmart distribution center in Brooksville and at Saddle Creek Logistics Services in Lakeland, FL between December 12th and 13th. Sponsor a Wreath Today www.wreathsacrossamerica.org
Remember the fallen, honor those who serve, teach our children the cost of freedom
THE 2019
RIDE LIKE NO OTHER Riding the open road with ease means the possibilities start and never seem to end. For you, and for the world of riders ready to take it all on. With Can-Am Ryker, there’s no holding back on anything, especially fun. You’re set to feel more thrills every time you ride. Easy to start, easy to ride, and easy on the wallet, you’re able to enjoy the roads ahead and the freedom you’ll find at every stop along the way.
CHASSIS Front suspension; travel: Dual A-arms w/ Sachs twin-tube shocks/5.4 inches Rear suspension; travel: Linkage-assisted
A 3-WHEEL THRILL RIDE DESIGNED FOR FUN Now that you can ride easy, you can let loose on the road with a dynamic riding experience. An optimized center of gravity with a lower seating position ensures you can smirk through tight turns and own every curve. 2019 Can-Am Ryker w/ Rotax 900 Ace Specs ENGINE Type: Rotax 900 Ace inline-3 Displacement: 899cc Bore x stroke: 74 x 69.7mm Maximum power: 77 horsepower @ 7100 rpm Maximum torque: 56 ft/lbs @ 6300 rpm Transmission: Fully automatic CVT Final drive: Shaft
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®TM and the BRP logo are trademarks of Bombardier recreational Products Inc. or its affiliates.
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Celebrating 72 Years of Proudly Serving the Powersports Community. www.Barneys.net
CAN-AM RYKER
Sachs twin-tube shock/5.9 inches Wheels: Five-spoke aluminum Front wheel: 16 x 4.5” Rear wheel: 16 x 6.5”
Tires: Kenda Front tire: 145/60 x 16
Rear tire: 205/45 x 16 Front brakes: 270mm discs w/ twin-piston floating Nissan calipers Rear brake: 220mm w/ single-piston floating caliper DIMENSIONS and CAPACITIES Length: 92.6 inches Width: 59.4 inches Wheelbase: 67.3 inches Seat height: 23.5 inches Ground clearance: 4.0 inches Fuel capacity: 5.3 gallons Dry weight: 616 pounds 2019 Can-Am Colors: Intense Black Adrenaline Red Yellow Shock Immortal White Carbon Black Liquid Steel 2019 Can-Am Ryker Prices: With Rotax 600 Ace engine: From $8499 MSRP With Rotax 900 Ace engine: From $9999 MSRP
Read the owners manual and product warning labels before operation. Model shown with optional accessories. Vehicle specifications subject to change.
Barney’s knows what it takes to keep our customers satisfied since 1946
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The Wonder of the Wise Men
Ever since I was a child, I’ve always been intrigued by the account of the wise men in the New Testament book of Matthew 2:1-12, these magi (from the Greek term “magoi” meaning “wise men” or “learned ones”) who crossed a continent to visit and pay homage to the Christ Child. Even now, as a moto-traveler and part-time history teacher, the story and journey of these men is a yearly favorite of mine to read and reflect upon during this season. You probably know the story of how they showed up in Jerusalem not long after Jesus’ birth, inquiring as to the whereabouts of the newborn “King of the Jews” after following a sign in the heavens, a star that had guided them across the miles and months to Palestine. This caused quite the consternation across the city, especially with King Herod, a Romeappointed political hack who wasn’t even Jewish. The magi soon reacquired the star, this time directing them south to Bethlehem and to the dwelling where they found the Child and family. It’s a fantastic, dramatic tale, one I enjoy returning to year after year. Give it a read. Who were these faraway travelers? Where did they come from? How did they know what they knew? Legend and song from the Middle Ages say there were three and they were kings from the Orient, but the Biblical text gives no indication of these. We know they carried three distinct types of gifts (gold, frankincense, myrrh), that the term “Magi” points to them being upper-class scholars and scientists, and they came from “the east.” Most modern historians and scholars believe the men likely hailed from the region of Persiamodern-day Iran, Afghanistan or Pakistan. Their journey then could have been between 800-1200+ miles, taken them anywhere from 3 to 8 months, and they arrived sometime within Jesus’ first year. It was an amazing time in human history - Europe and North Africa was experiencing “Pax Romana,” the peace of Roman rule, trade routes such as the Via Appia, the Persian Royal Road, Silk Road and Eurasian Steppe networks connected peoples and kingdoms, and knowledge was exploding, in cultures across the globe. In the midst of those incredible times, a handful of Mesopotamian scholars hit upon the prophecies of a little-known coming event in Palestine that would have earth-shaking implications. So they dug
deeper. What they found, in ancient Hebrew literature, drove them to set out across Asia, braving the dangers and hardships, to be there for this colossal event. They read the ancient Hebrew prophecies (Numbers 24:17, Isaiah 49-53, etc.), did the math with the Hebrew calendar (Daniel 9:24-26), and discovered what Jewish scholars should have known but no longer looked for. They found the Savior of the world. How did they even begin? An often overlooked historical fact- some 600+ years earlier, the Hebrew kingdoms of Judah and Israel had been attacked, sacked, and destroyed by the Assyrians and later, the Babylonians. In both instances, much of the population had been forced into exile, scattered across their empires, the Jewish scholar class and young people utilized and indoctrinated into the ways of those kingdoms (a documented practice both employed). Across hundreds of years, those Jews kept their faith, maintained community in foreign lands, and apparently left their mark on those cultures, rather than the reverse. The schools and libraries of Hebrew religion and learning they established had apparently endured, through the Medo-Persian empire (the one that first let Jews return to their homelands), the Greek, down into Roman times. God had given the first public sign, not to the Jewish scholars, not to the royalty in Jerusalem, not even first to the shepherds, but to foreigners, across a continent. Their response? They came, they bowed, they gave, they worshipped, they obeyed (Matthew 2:12). An interesting closing note - In the gifts, the magi brought, so laden with symbolism (gold=royalty, frankincense=priesthood, myrrh=sacrifice & death), Joseph and Mary had more than enough to live on themselves in a foreign land, Egypt, when they were forced to flee Herod’s murderous rampage to slaughter the Child Messiah. God supplied their every need, as He promises us as well (Philippians 4:19). And the wise still seek Him… From my family and all of us here at Born to Ride, may you and yours have a very Merry Christmas. Rob Brooks
If you have a story you would like to share with Born To Ride, Call: 888-795-5779
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Business and Pleasure? Heck yeah!
It’s been almost seven years since I took a leave as a writer in the bike world after losing my best buddy in a tragic accident on a commissioned ride by Baja Moto Tour USA in Baja Mexico. The ride was published in HOG Magazine among others. Been wanting to get back to writing now for a while. Ron Galletti responded. Thanks, Ron and the Born To Ride team! Just came back from Naples, FL using my Night Train as a means of transportation to meet clients. These guys are known to be hardcore bikers and businessmen leading multi-million dollars businesses in North America. Their reputation precedes them as bikers riding 800-miles per day. I felt it was the respectful thing to do to meet them as a biker. We and their lovely spouses talked about rides in Mexico, Argentina, India, Canada, USA, Columbia sometimes in as much as 18,000’ altitude etc. … The conversation took place over a succulent filet mignon dinner for three hours. Don made the mushrooms. Gloria made the salad. John grilled the steaks to perfection. Cheryl kept me company sharing stories of offroad vehicles tipping over on her. Did we talk business? Yeah for five minutes. If you ask me, using rides and conducting business helping people at the same time is “living the life.” I am in my 20th year in business, and I am here to tell you nothing is impossible I assure you. Our lives become what we believe to the extent we believe it. I happen to believe we were created for far more than we can possibly imagine in the visible as well as the invisible relative to what we give back to life and others. I read a book 25 years ago which changed my career path in a radical way. It is the most recognized career counselors reference book; “What Color Is Your Parachute.” If you are stagnating in your job, school, career or life in general, this book will show you the path to finally live a fulfilling career and personal life in a strategic and methodical manner. Essentially it teaches how to pick a life-career using the backdrop of
your dreams as a starting point. I was raised by a single mom and we lived under the poverty line. She taught me the value of hard work. She never believed in “participation trophies” (thank God!). Looking back and first of all, I am the proud father of Trinity, Jade, and Eric whom I need a “pile-hug” from before any long ride. The ride to Naples was no exception. So far as a businessman I have helped build multi-million dollars companies and mentored a few aspiring souls, I have been published in North America in different languages, I have interviewed bike builder celebrities, car racers, and worked with politicians. I also have a passion making fine art using sheet metal, playing djembe or guitar, painting and drawing. I live a full life. Not without hardships, I assure you, but I do what I love and that my friend is what makes the difference. As I rode on 5th South in Naples triggering the Lamborghini’s, McLaren’s, and Ferrari’s alarm systems with the rumble of my straight pipes, I smiled. I saw the looks of domesticated couples piled under shopping bags of luxury betrayed by their envious unsatisfied hearts about the freedom I possess on my bike. I enjoyed parking my Harley right smack where the supercars are supposed to be. Hearing the valets asking me to park in the garage and responding to them simply with a silent smile, leaving my bike right there and go to my room is just a delight. I earned that! Do I own a supercar? No. You would give me one, I would sell it to buy an old rusty truck and use the leftover to help my children and others. The moment we ride, dear brothers and sisters we instantaneously become richer than the large majority in a world of fearful entitled narcissists chained and enslaved to temporal materialism. Follow your dreams? Nah! I say, “nurture your dreams” and die happy in their pursuit rather than just “existing.” Return good for good and yes … return good even for evil then watch Life execute a revenge on your behalf better than what you could come up with. Everything we have is a gift; family, health, dreams, tears, joy, breath, souls, freedom, hardships. … What we do with these gifts combined with our attitude carries us into strengths we usually are not aware we can deploy. Due to personal adversities, I am looking at a Christmas season pretty much spent alone. I can’t, however, imagine a better Christmas than coming to the realization I have three beautiful children and an amazing career where I can mix riding with work. All because I nurtured my dreams embracing successes as well as failures all the same because neither lasts forever. Find your passion(s) and live them out. Remember your dreams. They are still there and waiting for you. Reinvent yourself. Merry Christmas and a superb 2019 my friends. I look forward to sharing more moments with you all and serving you with the unexpected.
Night Train
DEUT 6:5 • www.facebook.com/FloridaNightTrain
UFC PhotoReal Editorial Content, Real Value every month for you the Reader Born To Ride Magazine,
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6606 GaLl BlVd ZePhYrHiLlS, Fl 33542 (813)-782-4272
Don’t Miss Roscoe’s Chili Challenge 2019, First Weekend of Nov, info@roscoeschilichallenge.com
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Enter to Win 2 FREE Tickets to Roscoe’s Chili Challenge, TEXT RCC2018 TO 51660
To see more Photos from this event check out, www.RoscoesChiliChallenge.com
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Don’t Miss Roscoe’s Chili Challenge 2019, First Weekend of Nov, info@roscoeschilichallenge.com
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Don’t Miss Roscoe’s Chili Challenge 2019, First Weekend of Nov, info@roscoeschilichallenge.com
Spyke & Mike
Mrs. Claus is adding some pounds
This season it’s not ho-ho-ho it’s hot-hot-hot my BTR friends. Well, at least warmer than normal. What happened to our fall? Looks like old man winter is riding the late El Nino wave this year. Either that or he’s disguised himself as a snowbird: laying on the beach wearing nothing but funky shorts, sunglasses, and a straw hat. He might even be hanging out with Santa Claus down at the mall after he gets off work. Mike cuts in, “Speaking about that Christmas character, and I hate to be the one to defy a sacred myth, but I believe Santa is a she!” I cackle, ‘Dude! Have you and grandpa been into the eggnog already this year?’ Mike babbles, “No, he’s still sleeping. I’ve been doing 1 oz curls with my friends Jack Daniels, Jim Beam, and Johnnie Walker. They’ve got me thinking about the whole Santa scheme. I mean, come on Spyke, let’s look at the big picture here: I can buy the fact that other mythical holiday characters are men. Father Time shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous. A definite guy. Jack Frost is one cold blue dude. Cupid flies around carrying weapons and wearing no bra. A little green leprechaun with a full beard jumps around wearing tights. Anyone of these individuals would pass a testosterone screening test. But not Saint Nick. Now, I’m no conspiracy theorist but for starters, Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing, social, religious, family deal and I have a tough time believing a real man could possibly pull it off. Surely, if he was a guy, everyone in the world would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet, still in the bag with the receipt, a socket and wrench set, or garden tools and a subscription to Hot Rod or Home Improvement magazine under the tree. Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First off, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted, and strapped to the rear bumper of the sleigh. Second, Blitzen’s rack would be on the way to the taxidermist. Third, Rudolph’s nose would end up on the bottom of a tequila bottle. Even if the male Santa did use live reindeer, he’d still have transportation issues. He would probably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions. A real he-man Santa would never pack a bag that big nor would he BTR 60 | BORNTORIDE.COM
be caught dead wearing red velvet and definitely not be seen hanging out with little elves. The only stockings that he would be looking for are at the gentlemen’s club. Last but not least, being responsible for Christmas would require a serious commitment.” I break in and squawk, ‘You might be onto something Mike. On the other side of the coin and from a woman’s point of view, I can see why a female would love to be Santa Claus. You made me ride with her on a toy run last year. She really knew how to pack a sleigh! There would be no more early morning decisions about what to wear to the office. She would have one big black belt and be accessorized for life. She would always work in sensible footwear, never again having to wear pantyhose, or worrying about her slip showing. No one would dare ask her for a ride to work. She would never be told to take an early retirement package while being guaranteed the best chair in the office. She couldn’t grab the wrong coat on the way out the door. No one would ask to see her job description and all of her co-workers would be on permanent notice that they better not pout. Last, she could grow a gut the size of Fat Albert’s and consider it to be a job requirement.’ Mike replies, “Spyke, in her honor I’ve come up with a Christmas parody. It goes to the tune of ‘Santa Claus is Coming to Town.’ She better start to bake, She better start to fry, She’s eating a big cake, I’m telling you why, Mrs. Claus is adding some pounds.
She’s making a list, She’s checking it twice, She’s going to pig out, On chicken and rice, Mrs. Claus is adding some pounds. She’s eating one huge cookie, And checking her scale, The sugar rush is making her cooky, She’s getting as big as a whale, Mrs. Claus is adding some pounds. She better order take out, She better get it value sized, She wants her dress to blow out, She wants to be full-sized, Mrs. Claus is adding some pounds.”
I cackle, ‘OK Mike, then what is her official title? Madam Clause? Santa Gal? She Clause? Anyways, you’ve opened one big can of worms this time. I think there are too many lights out on your Christmas tree and you’re as bright as Alaska in December. I believe you’re pissing off most of the women in this world and all the men that are part-time Santa’s. Not to mention, you probably won’t even get a bag of coal in your stocking from the real Santa this year. I think you should quit while you’re still alive and throw my feathered ass on the Fat Bird 2. You need to get my wings in the wind, your knees in the breeze, and its wheels rolling down the road before someone comes chasing after you swinging a big red sack.’ SPYKE Do you have a Favorite Pet like Spyke? Let Us Know and we’ll feature your story. 888-795-5779
Fuel Tank Rusty? Craig Can Fix It!
The heart and soul of your bike is the fuel tank. Originally, the tank was new and clean, but over the years that all has changed. If you are tired of cleaning carburetors or think you need a new tank because yours is too rusty or it leaks, I have the solution. We clean tanks and preserve the metal – even permanently stop leaks! The highgrade epoxy coating we use is second to none; we can even remove most Kreem and Red-Kote liners. We have a fast turnaround time; it’s the easiest thing you’ll do all week. Call 813-407-2226 or CraigPaintsBikes.com
www.B Events Saturday, December 1 Gibsonton, FL Alafia Lighted Boat Parade 12pm River’s Edge Bar & Grill. Live music, food & drink specials, Chili Cook-off contest, & more. riversEdgeBarandGrill.com Homosassa, FL The 18th Annual Toy Run Crystal Harley-Davidson. Reg & Line up 8:30am Beall’s Parking Lot - Inverness KSU 10:30am. CrystalHarley.com Lakeland, FL Santa’s Coming to Town 11am-2pm Lakeland Harley-Davidson. 863-802-1971 New Port Richey, FL Free Santa Pictures New Port Richey H-D 11am3pm. Get your picture taken with Santa and his helper. HdFlorida.com Ocala, FL War Horse H-D HOG Group Annual Toy Run 9am. Police escorted ride. New unwrapped toy plus $5 per rider and passenger. Live music, food, drinks & beer. 352-427-6679 Ybor City, FL Cigar Heritage Festival Kick-off party 7pm-11pm Centennial Park. YborCityCigarFestival.com Sunday, December 2 Brooksville, FL Brooksville Bike Rally and Cruise-in 10am-4pm: Toy Drive benefiting local charities. Bring one unwrapped toy and receive 5 tickets for the Prize Raffle. Visit our Fb page Ybor City, FL Cigar Heritage Festival 11am-5pm Centennial Park. YborCityCigarFestival.com Webster, FL Howard’s Swap-ORama at Webster’s Flea Market. First Sunday of every month. Cycle and Auto Swap meet 6:30am – 3pm $5 Admission (under 12 Free) Includes free drink. Enter to win amazing prizes. Swap Meet Vendors Welcome Standard Monthly Show Pricing Covered 10x10 space only $12 Outdoors 30x15 space only $21 plus tax. 352-793-9877 66 | BORNTORIDE.COM BTR 76
There Thereare aresome somegreat greatevents eventscoming comingup, up,sosoget getout outthere thereand andmeet meetup upwith withold oldfriends! friends!
BornToRide.com/events s, Rides & Destinations Wednesday, December 5 Clearwater, FL Benefit Concert for Children’s Home Network 6pm-10pm Quaker Steak & Lube. Live music. 100% of the event goes directly to the kids! Thursday, December 6 Lakeland, FL Lakeland HarleyDavidson Ladies Night 6pm. RSVP online before 12/3. 863-802-1971 Friday, December 7 Lakeland, FL (12/7-12/9) Lakeland Harley-Davidson Anniversary Bash. 863-802-1971 Saturday, December 8 Brandon, FL Fill the Float Toys for Tots Run 10 AM Brandon Harley-Davidson. Bring one unwrapped toy. Come out and join us for a FUN time and a GREAT cause. 813-740-9898 Tampa, FL Free Santa Pictures Tampa H-D 11am-3pm. Get your picture taken with Santa and his helper. HdFlorida.com Wauchula, FL Charlotte’s Webb Pub Customer Appreciation Party 1pm. Live music, free food and beer while supplies last. 863-735-8887 Sunday, December 9 St. Petersburg, FL Vietnam Vets Legacy Vets MC 34th Annual Toy Run 9am Derby Lane Dog Track. Unwrapped gift appreciated - door prizes, 50/50, food & beer. Ride to benefit Tampa Bay VA hospitals. 813-285-8895 Thursday, December 13 Kissimmee, FL Old Town Bike Night 5pm-11pm (every Thursday). Live music, & more. 407-396-4888 Lakeland, FL Lakeland HarleyDavidson Men’s Night 6pm. RSVP online before 12/10. 863-802-1971
Davidson 11am-3pm. Get your picture taken with Santa and his helper. HdFlorida.com Sunday, December 16 Dunedin, FL Suncoast Brotherhood 38th Annual Toy Run Inglis, FL (12/14-12/16) Screwie 9am Walmart Parking lot. PoliceLouie’s Scooter Haven Christmas escorted ride. 727-439-1722 Party. Bring an unwrapped gift for the kids at Yankeetown. Tuesday, December 18 Decorate Your Bike Contest, Gibsonton, FL Taco Tuesday & Chinese Auction, entertainment Born To Ride Radio Live with all weekend. 727-565-8743 Everywhere Eddy and Luscious Lynn 7pm-10pm (every Tue night) Saturday, December 15 River’s Edge Bar & Grill. Parti Brandon, FL Free Santa Pictures Patti MC Visit facebook.com/ Brandon H-D 11am-3pm. Get BornToRideTVMagazine or your picture taken with Santa and 727-678-9055 his helper. HdFlorida.com Friday, December 14 Homosassa, FL HOG Ride to Cracker House - Silver Springs. Start at Crystal Harley-Davidson. CrystalHarley.com
Brooksville, FL Wreaths Across America 8am Walmart Distribution Center. Escorted ride to Florida National Cemetery in Bushnell. WreathscrossmericaBushnell.com Lakeland, FL Wreaths Across America 6am Florida Polytechnic University.Escorted ride to Florida National Cemetery in Bushnell. WreathscrossmericaBushnell.com Lakeland, FL Lakeland HarleyDavidson Holly, Jolly & Salty 11am-3pm. 863-802-1971 Panama City Beach, FL Free Santa Pictures Panama City Beach H-D 11am-3pm. Get your picture taken with Santa and his helper. HdFlorida.com St. James City, FL Iron Legacy MC Toy Drive and Bike night at the American Legion Post 136 5pm– 9pm. All donations go to Toys for Tots. 239-283-4434 Sarasota, FL Rossiter’s H-D Christmas Party 9am-4pm. Free food, live music (Wild Horse), full bar, 20% off licensed products, free gift wrapping. 941-951-6103 Tallahassee, FL Free Santa Pictures Tallahassee Harley-
Homosassa, FL HOG Ride to Front Porch - Dunnellon. Start at Crystal Harley-Davidson. CrystalHarley.com
Tuesday, December 25 MERRY CHRISTMAS Thursday, December 27 Apollo Beach, FL Salty Shamrock Bike Night (last Thursday). Live music, food specials, 10-class bike show & more. 813-938-5282 Lakeland, FL (12/27-12/30) Lakeland Harley-Davidson Giant Used Tent Event and auction. 863-802-1971 Saturday, December 29 Homosassa, FL Crystal H-D Customer Appreciation Day 11am-2pm. Free hamburgers and hot dogs (while supplies last). CrystalHarley.com Inglis, FL (12/29-1/1) Screwie Louie’s Scooter Haven New Year’s Celebration. Karaoke w/Kahuna Clint, Open Jam w/ Denver Dewitt & John Dalton, Fireworks and more. 727-565-8743
Thursday, December 20 Kissimmee, FL Old Town Bike Night 5pm-11pm (every Thursday). Live music, & more. Sunday, December 30 407-396-4888 Plant City Twilight Zone Biker Super Sunday (last Sun) 12pm. Saturday, December 22 Free hot dogs (while they last), Bradenton, FL Manatee River H-D Bucks BBQ, free vendor set up, Christmas Party 9am-4pm. Free DJ Swampy, live music and more. food, live music (Randy Stephens 813-737-3112 & the Groove Makers), full bar, 20% off licensed products, free gift St. Petersburg, FL Biff Burger wrapping. 941-745-2429 Extravaganza 1pm. Raffle for John Hopkins All Children’s hospital. Homosassa, FL HOG Ride to Live music, $2.50 bloody Mary’s Buffet City. Start at Crystal H-D. and more. 727-505-0865 CrystalHarley.com Tuesday, January 1, 2019 Lakeland, FL Lakeland HarleyHAPPY NEW YEAR Davidson Key West Christmas 11am-3pm. 863-802-1971 Brandon, FL CMA High Noon Ride Brandon H-D 10am-3pm. St. Petersburg, FL Biff Burger Everyone welcome. HdFlorida.com Christmas Bike and Car Party 7pm-11pm. Rocky Diamond Band Friday, January 11 Santa coming with gifts for the Gibsonton, FL (1/11-1/13) children. Raising money & gifts 16th Annual Gibtown Bikefest for John Hopkins All Children’s at International Independent Hospital. 727-505-0865 Showmen’s Association. GibtownBikeWeek.com
To Send submitinand yourview events even to more info@BornToRide.com, events visit BornToRide.com help us helpEvents you.
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This is the time of year of turkeys, trees, families and lists. It is a time of celebration and shopping. I request that this year you add the following list to your list of shopping pleasures. 1. Park next to vehicles that are the same size or smaller than yours. 2. Choose a path through the parking lot that allows you a clear view of the store’s door. 3. Observe the people and vehicles between you and the store. If anything looks unusual trust your intuition, and change your path to the store. 4. Do not go through groups of young people. Is that discrimination? Yes, but ask yourself, when was the last time you heard a group of senior citizens harming or harassing others? 5. Stay out of dense crowds of people. This time of year there are more pick pockets, purse snatchers, car and home burglaries then at other times of the year. 6. Stay out of crowds of dense people. People can be short tempered while Christmas shopping. 7. When returning to you vehicle, if your hands are full (or if you wonder if you should), ask someone, anyone, to accompany you to your vehicle. 8. Enjoy this time for Celebration! A celebration could be sharing mugs of hot chocolate with friends, or attending parties. If your celebration takes you away from home, remember the parking and walking guidelines above. Also, if alcohol will be a part of your celebration, arrange for a designated driver or ride home, or spend the night (let the party include breakfast). Remember, Never Always Happens! Stay Safe! Richard Liebespach Self-Protection Essentials,llc http://SelfProtection..me 813.444.8258