Sand Castles

‫בס׳׳ד‬

‫‪SAND‬‬ ‫‪CASTLES‬‬ ‫‪2 0 1 9‬‬

‫‪A U C T I O N‬‬

‫‪O L A M‬‬

‫‪B O N E I‬‬

‫והרבה ארבה את זרעך ככוכבי השמים‬ ‫‪1‬‬

‫וכחול אשר על שפת הים‬

MONSEY

M O N D AY, N O V E M B E R 2 5 T H , 2 0 1 9 ‫ תש״פ‬,‫ כ״ז חשון‬,‫מאנטאג פרשת תולדות‬

DOORS OPEN AT 7:00 PM PROGRAM STARTS 8:30 PM SHARP

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E

Mrs. Miriam Lapides ORIGINAL, E ALL E TH ITTING COMEDY C SPL IEN ER SIDE XP

WO R L D R E N OW N E D S P E A K E R

Mrs. Jackie Bitton Bonei Olam presents An original soul-stirring musical drama An incredible tale of triumph, spanning continents and connecting worlds.

Children’s Choir Women’s Choir Child Soloists

–~

Professional Live Symphony Orchestra Breathtaking Middle Eastern Footage • Magnificent Music Video

Between bumps and blues, where’s the bliss?

HONORING Raizy Feldman Keser Shem Tov award

Esther Neiman Hakoras hatov Award

Faigele Felberbaum Oseh chesed award

Carol Feldheim

Rebbetzin Udi Moskowitz • ‫לז׳׳נ אדל בת ר‘ אברהם ע’’ה‬ This year’s Bonei Olam auction is l’zecher Nishmas a very special woman.

Tribute Award accepted by her daughter

B ORO PA R K

T U E S D AY, N O V E M B E R 2 6 T H , 2 0 1 9 ‫ תש׳׳פ‬,‫ כ״ח חשון‬,‫דינסטאג פרשת תולדות‬

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BONEI OLAM & ME

R E N OW N E D S P E A K E R

Chavi Leiner

A journey of challenge & joy

RABBI Shlomo Farhi

Chavi has been part of Bonei Olam since its inception. Enjoy her dynamic persona as she conducts this evening.

The amazingly true tale of how Bonei Olam impacted the life of one courageous woman.

A world renowned speaker and educator, known for his magnetism, dynamism and personable style.

Founder and President of Chazak

Bonei Olam presents An original soul-stirring musical drama An incredible tale of triumph, spanning continents and connecting worlds.

Children’s Choir Women’s Choir Child Soloists

–~

Professional Live Symphony Orchestra Breathtaking Middle Eastern Footage • Magnificent Music Video

HONORING Suri Brach Keser Shem Tov award

Raizy Birnhack Oseh chesed award

Bracha Rifkah Forster Eishes Chayil award

Pessy Grossman Young leadership award

Malky Kohl ahavas yisroel award

Mimi Steinberg Hakoras hatov Award

O

nce upon a time, a newly married king and queen set out to build their castle. They sculpted rooms and stairs and towers, and waited for a charming prince or princess to fill the corridors with ringing laughter and joy.

“I’m sure he’ll be here soon,” said the king, as a bit of the tower they’d dreamed of so long came crumbling down.

“Are you sure?” said the queen.

“He must,” answered the king. “It can’t be much longer.” Yet as time went by, the waves came closer, threatening their beautiful home. Bit by bit, grain by grain, the castle of their dreams crumbled into sand.

To this day, the king and queen still wait. They’ve rebuilt their home countless times, only to see it crumble, again and again and again. But soon – maybe very soon – they’ll live their dream. And laughter will fill the castle corridors and little faces will shine through the arched windows of their magnificent home and they will live happily ever after.

Join us in filling empty castles with everlasting joy.

3

4

Dear Friend,

O

ne summer evening, after a long, hot day, I took a stroll down the seashore. As I was walking, I came across an abandoned sandcastle. It was magnificently crafted, with towers and turrets and a jaunty flag flying from its roof. Yet even as I watched, the waves were breaking it apart. First a little wave licked its base, then a giant wave came nearly to its middle. I watched as the waters retreated, hoping against hope that the castle would somehow stand strong. But the waves were relentless, and soon the magnificent structure crumbled into sand.

I thought then that I’ve seen many castles crumble into nothingness. Every day, I see couples dream of a child, only to have their hopes dashed – again and again and again. They endure a devastating cycle of building, hope and loss; building, hope and loss.

Yet the very sand these couples use to build their castles holds the key to their salvation. For Hashem said to Avraham Avinu, ‫והרבה ארבה את זרעך ככוכבי השמים‬ ‫ – וכחול על שפת הים‬and I will increase your children as the stars in the heaven and the sand at the shore.

It is this promise that grants us at Bonei Olam the courage to help the couples rebuild – to tell couples that despite the waves, despite the failures, we will do everything possible to make their dreams come true.

We do that by funding treatments. No matter how many times a treatment has failed, no matter how many times a couple has seen their castle crumble away, we will continue to fund their care, as long as there is hope that they can have a child.

To date, there are over eight thousand Bonei Olam babies – more than 8000 homes filled with joy; 8000 times that we see the fulfillment of Hashem’s great promise. These children will, with Hashem’s help, bring forth a future that is so glorious, so great; it is impossible to reckon – like the sand on the shore!

It’s incredible to be part of all this building. But we don’t build alone. With every dollar you donate, every treatment you sponsor, every auction ticket you purchase today, you are there with us, building castles and filling them with joy.

These are not distant castles in some faraway land.

They are right here – they are your neighbors, your siblings, your friends. They are desperately trying to build castles, but they can’t do it alone - because the task is so daunting and the price is so high. But the knowledge that you’re building with them; that you care to fund the future; gives them strength to keep building.

I personally invite you to join us in Sandcastles, and to partner with us in helping waiting couples realize the fulfillment of Hashem’s brachah to Avraham Avinu – ‫והרבה ארבה את זרעך ככוכבי השמים וכחול אשר על שפת הים‬.

Wishing you much joy in your own castle, Warmly,

Schlomo Bochner

5

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Tuesday, January 28, 2020

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9

10

One Tiny Grain I sometimes wonder How much pain A single heart can bear, How many times Can hope be crushed And still yet persevere.

For in my soul, A grain of sand Has settled and has grown, Though years have passed I still don’t have A child of my own.

This pain I bear, This grain of sand, It hurts! It makes me cry, I cover it Time and again, To stifle it, I try, I try to act indifferent As if I’ve not a care, But under layers Of disguise, The pain, Oh, it’s still there.

I hope and yearn To see the day When my shell I’ll unfurl, And from my pain There will emerge My child, a stunning pearl.

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Today they Wait I C

B

1,053

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f Numbeerrvoiced s couples 9 in 577 O

N E I

M O L A

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A

t was three o’clock. Bus time. Shulamis usually tried to avoid coming in or out at three. It wasn’t a hard-set rule, but still, why put herself through the bludgeon?

That was how she felt, walking through the mass of snoodbedecked neighbors, dodging strollers and scooters, bumping into adorable little people.

It’s not that she begrudged her neighbors. She didn’t want their babies, for heaven’s sake. She wanted her own. But somehow, walking through the apartment building lobby at three just made her feel so different.

They were mothers. She wasn’t. End of story.

Oh, they were really nice, the neighbors. Great friends, even. They treated her like part of the group, inviting her to the Friday night Tehillim group and borrowing things and asking her to chip in when Faigy moved out. It was just the way she felt.

She’d moved onto the fifth floor the same time as Chaya and Pearl and Faigy, and they’d discussed the merits of a two-bedroom apartment over a one-bedroom. She remembered it well. Faigy had opted for a one-bedroom, because she thought it was wise to save on the rent, and she, ever so confident, had said, “Well, that’s silly. You’ll have to move out before you know it.”

And see, Faigy did have to move out, while her own second bedroom mocked her in its emptiness. And now it was 3:05 on Monday afternoon, and she had an appointment with that specialist, and she had no choice but to walk right through the wonderful ladies crowded around the door.

So she held her head high and pasted a smile on her face and grasped the strap of her pocketbook so tight, her knuckles turned white.

Give her hope. Fund her future.

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B

ubby was sitting in her brown leather armchair like a queen on her throne. Around her, a goggle of grandchildren flitted about, giddy with excitement. The little ones tried to peek into the bags at her feet, and one brave soul even tried to feel some of the dreidel-festooned packages. But the wrapping paper wasn’t giving away any of its secrets.

“Alri-ight,” Bubby trilled, as she reached for one humongous shopping bag. “Let’s see.” She lifted a colorful package out of the bag and looked for the name tag.

“Rivky Gold,” she called. Seven year old Rivky stepped forward and took the package, then sat next to her mother before carefully unsticking the scotch tape so the paper wouldn’t tear.

“Chaim Schwartz,” Bubby announced next, and laughed when the three year old ripped the paper apart, broke open the box, and yanked the yellow plastic bus out of its package.

“Goldy Jacobowitz,” she said next, proffering a package to a lanky preteen. And so it went, twenty nine packages, twenty nine children. Everywhere in the dining room, five of the Schwartz siblings and their spouses exclaimed over the gifts their children were showing them. The floor was carpeted with wrapping paper, and some of the children were already playing with their games and toys.

And in a corner of the room, Yehuda and Malky sat and whispered and tried to ignore the pitying glances and the flash of sorrow that flitted over Bubby’s face whenever she glanced their way.

Give them family. Fund their future.

T

hey sat around the corner table in the Kiddush room like they did every week, digging into overnight potato kugel, refilling plates with cholent, slathering super-spicy Matyas herring over eiyer kichel.

They called themselves “The Chevra,” six boys-turnedmen who’d known each other since first grade.

Conversation flowed like the Johnny Walker Black on the table; a light, spirited banter between close friends.

“So, whadaya say to Mendy, heh?” Yossi asked, as he lifted a hunk of kishka out of the cholent bowl. “He just had his fourth girl. Four girls in a row!”

“He was chaleshing for a boy,” Ruvy said.“Yeah, he doesn’t have a Baruch yet,” Chaim Yitzchok called out. “Such a heise Chasid, and he’s still waiting to give the name.”

“Mamash a rachmanus,” Moishe interjected, a touch of sarcasm on his lips. “A pity. There has to be a segulah for a ben zachar.”

“Yeah, my brother has seven girls. You hear?” Yoeli said, pounding a seltzer bottle on the table. “Seven girls!” He twisted the bottle cap, and with an explosive hiss, seltzer spritzed clear across the table, soaking the tablecloth, a tray of marble cake, and Avrumi’s bekeshe.

“Oy, antshildigt, I’m sorry,” Yossi said, as he passed a stack of napkins to his friend. He looked at Avrumi, and realization slapped him in the face. Lively, loquacious Avrumi hadn’t had a thing to add to the conversation. Of course not.

“Antshuldigt,” he whispered again. “I’m so, so sorry.”

But all the apologies in the world couldn’t erase the pain.

Give him simchas. Fund his future.

Today they wait.

Tomorrow is up to you.

13 13

•1•

GRAND PRIZE

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‫לע׳׳נ‬ ‫רבקה לאה בת יעקב‬ ‫יעקב ישראל בן יהודה‬

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Castles in the Sand Glittering sand stretching for miles, Shouting children, gleeful smiles, Plastic shovels, buckets filled, Pails of water splashed and spilled, Brilliant colors, surf and spray, Everyone’s come out to play, But in our corner of the beach, It seems as if the sun can’t reach, The doctor’s words fill us with dread “There’s little chance,” is what he said, Our castle’s now turned into sand, The joy won’t touch us, we’ve been banned Still, we hope to turn the tide, With Bonei Olam at our side, And once again the sea will roar, The sun will shine, the gulls will soar, And with our child, red pail in hand, We’ll build a castle out of sand.

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What T

here was something stately about the couple who walked into Bonei Olam headquarters one morning. They weren’t the typical visitors. His beard was nearly white; her face sported a gentle web of wrinkles. They looked around the room, and the woman’s gaze seemed to linger on a blownup portrait of a baby girl.

“We came to give you something,” the husband said.

“We want to leave something over in this world.

Because we aren’t leaving doros.” He pursed his lips.

“We never had a child. There was no Bonei Olam then. We were so alone.” Then they told their story.

They’d gotten married around the same time as their friends. Slowly, everyone around them began to build families, but they were still “the newlyweds.” Then her younger sister got married and she got suddenly afraid.

“I thought, ‘what if she has a baby before me? I was terrified!’” she recalled. When her sister had a baby boy eleven months later, she was kvatter at the bris.

A parade of aunts came over to her, clasped her hand tight, and said “im yirtzeh Hashem by you,” but she could only nod in reply because there was no doubt in her mind that if she spoke, the rock in her throat would dissolve into tears.

The pain was ever-constant. The couple couldn’t even discuss it with their parents. Infertility was a

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taboo topic. So they made phone calls and davened and visited doctors on their own.

“One doctor yelled at us,” she recalled. “‘Why are you chasing the impossible?’” he said. "You will never have a child. Accept it. Move on.’ After that appointment, I cried and cried until my cheeks were raw.” It wasn’t any easier for her husband.

“I wanted a child so badly,” he said. “I remember once by duchenen on Yom Tov when the yungerman next to me was holding three little boys under his talis. I was thinking, ‘Hashem, just one! Please, I’m asking for just one!’”

And then the medical field took a giant leap forward. There were promising new treatments available, and suddenly, they had hope.

It was unbelievable – to think that after all these years maybe they could have a child; maybe they could fill the hole in their hearts; make simchas and have nachas and leave something over in this world.

And then the doctor said, ‘it’s going to cost fifteen thousand dollars.’

It could have been a million. They had maybe a thousand in the bank. Even if they sold all their silver and jewelry, they’d still be ten thousand short.

“We decided I’d ask my cousin,” the husband said.

“I never asked anyone for favors, and in those days, no one talked about such things. Our childlessness was like a big mine. People were afraid to get too close, because, you know, maybe we’d explode or something. So for me to ask for help was very hard.

But I got up the courage. I visited him and explained the situation. I asked, ‘could you please give us ten thousand dollars?’”

“He said ‘no.’ Just ‘no’. No excuses, no explanations.

“With one ‘no’, our hope for a child was gone. We were so hurt, we couldn’t bring ourselves to ask anyone else. If our own relative didn’t think it was worth it to spend ten thousand dollars so we could have a child, who would?”

“And that was it. It was over. We resigned ourselves to being childless. I became the candy man in shul, my wife is the receptionist in a doctor’s office.

We’re not bitter, we accepted Hashem’s will. This was meant to be. But to say there’s no hole in our hearts? We would be lying.” By then, the tears were pouring down his wife’s face, and he was crying, too. He reached into his pocket and took out a checkbook.

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“I had a distant relative who had a lot of money. He was always going on vacation and redecorating his house and buying his wife expensive jewelry.’”

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“That’s why we’re here. We want to help a couple have a child. This is what we want to do with our money. It would be a great comfort.” And he wrote a very large check and handed it to Rabbi Bochner.

They stood up to leave, and the woman said “To this day, I ask myself, ‘what if?’ What if someone would have funded our treatment thirty years ago?

What if money could have bought us a child?”

What if?

Bonei Olam believes that no couple should ever have to ask, “What if?”

Bonei Olam funds exorbitantly expensive fertility treatments, removing the single greatest barrier to parenthood: lack of funds. The average cost of helping a couple is $18,000. Some couples’ treatments cost much, much more.

As long as the medical field offers hope, Bonei Olam will not let money stand between a couple and their child.

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•4•

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Oasis in the Desert I always heard of the places I’ll go, The things that I’ll do and the things that I’ll know, I did not imagine, no, I never planned, To live in a desert with nothing but sand, To my left, to my right, to look high and look low, And see sand and more sand, with nowhere to go.

To just plod and just plod through this desolate place, How I wished for a child to fill all the space.

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One day I said, wait! There is hope! Let me run!

Just over that dune! Is it daughter or son?

I let myself dream of the places we’d go, Till I saw – a mirage I have followed! Oh, no!

The dream that I dreamed of the places and sights, Of the happiest days and the dreamiest nights, Was gone like the castles I built in the sand, That crumbled away, no matter how grand.

But then, it rose up, Bonei Olam’s oasis, I was finally able to go to great places, And do different things, and share what I know, With a child at my side, there is so much to show!

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‫בס”ד‬

The Mazel Tov Heard Round the World When Mr. Moshe Aron Fulop of Brooklyn showed up at the maternity ward of a Manhattan hospital this August, the staffer at the front desk gave him a visitor’s pass.

“I’d like a father’s pass,” he said.

“Those aren’t for grandparents,” she answered.

“They’re for dads only.”

“But I am a father!” he said. “My wife is here with my baby son! We had him yesterday.” The woman blinked and looked at him.

“No way,” she said. “With that white beard an’ all, I was certain you was the grandpa! I mean, you look like a grandpa, for sure. Lemme guess, then. What number is this? Number nine? Number ten?” Mr. Fulop smiled.

“Actually, it’s my first,” he said. The staffer’s jaw nearly hit the ground.

“You’re not sayin!” she exclaimed. “I know your community. You people have lots o’ babies, so if this one’s your first, that’s big, man. Real big.”

She was right. It was big – colossal, really. A really big simcha, a very big deal. At age 47, after decades of waiting and hoping, after so many losses and tears, after nearly coming to terms with the possibility that he would never have a child, Moshe Aron Fulop held his very own newborn son.

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“I’m living in a dream,” he said, four weeks after the day he became a father. “All these years I had this big hole in my heart because I didn’t have a child, and now I have this precious tzaddik’l!”

Mr. Fulop’s saga began some twenty-odd years ago, when he and his wife realized they had a problem.

At first they were optimistic. But slowly, the months turned into years and one by one, their friends began to make simchas they could only dream about.

Upsherens. Bar Mitzvahs. Graduations. Weddings.

They participated in every occasion, even bought gifts and danced with the baalei simcha. But there was a thick glass wall between them and the rest of the guests. They were set apart; different; another breed, almost. They were the ones with a tzarah – the couple who’d never been up at night with a baby; who’d never taught a child the alef beis; who couldn’t possibly understand the nachas that wells up in a parent’s heart when a child delivers a pshetl or walks to the chuppah.

In family-centered Boro Park, it was impossible to distract themselves from their plight. The kids in the streets, the school buses on the roads, the children’s shoe and clothing and toy stores that dominate the community, all highlighted the emptiness in their spotless little apartment.

Throughout the years, Mr. Fulop tried with all his might to rejoice in other’s good fortune.

“I knew no one was taking anything away from me,” he said. So he tried to vicariously experience life’s joys through others. When people were insensitive or said things that seemed hurtful, he took no offense.

“I knew everyone meant well. They just didn’t know how to deal with us,” he said. But the couple’s desire

for a child burned in their hearts. And so they tried.

They went to doctors and visited kivrei tzaddikim and never stopped davening and hoping. One big doctor in Mayo Clinic sent them to a lab that offers hope to many patients. The results were discouraging. A mekubal examined their kesubah, and organizations called offering this or that segulah, all to no avail. Until Mr. Fulop reached out to Bonei Olam.

“I called to ask them to help pay for a procedure that could possibly help.

They covered the entire bill, but that was just the beginning. Mr. Fulop described how Bonei Olam got involved in every aspect of the case – from rabbinical support to medical referrals and lab services.

“Bonei Olam’s lab really was the first to offer us hope,” he recalls. Although the testing they’d undergone previously had come back with poor results, Bonei Olam’s lab runs a much more comprehensive test. The results were much more hopeful.

And now, this August, their dream came true, and little Shimon was born.

“It’s like the Yam Suf split for us,” Mr. Fulop said.

“Every avenue of help was closed. We’d tried them all. And then Bonei Olam jumped in and the yeshuah came.”

There was another similarity to Kriyas Yam Suf: the kiddush Hashem and publicity.

News about the baby’s birth hit social media and went viral.

Photos of the “baby and his Chassidic white-bearded dad” circulated around the world, and in a matter of hours, Rabbi Fulop and his baby were famous.

Though fame was NOT what he had been looking for all these years.

“All I wanted was to be a father. To raise a Yiddish kind and leave doros.”

Thanks to Hashem’s incredible chasadim, and the tireless efforts and dedication of His messengers at Bonei Olam, the Fulops are living their dream.

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Sands of Time There once was a couple named Klass, Who purchased a nice hourglass, They thought it would show, That time’s fast, not slow, But that fact did not come to pass.

The sand, it kept trickling through, Marking time without fail, it is true, But something went wrong, Each day was so long, Yet, at the same time, it just flew.

Before they knew what had occurred, They partied Anniversary the Third, No child at their side, Their smiles, though quite wide, Were fake, and it felt quite absurd.

It was time for a doctor, but hey, Twenty grand at least, the doc did say, At that price, oh my, They both started to cry, We’ve no child, and we simply can’t pay.

To the Klass’ we said, don’t despair, It’s OK, Bonei Olam is here, The funds, we will pay, If there is a way, We can help you, we will, ‘cuz we care.

Today, their glass does still show, The passage of time, but you know, They sometimes forget, To flip it – don’t fret, ‘Cuz their twins keep them so on the go.

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Twists & Turns She sat in the Bonei Olam office in Bnei Brak, fire in her eyes.

“No,” she said, when the counselor asked to see her medical file. “I can’t show it to you.” She clasped the folder to her chest, as if to shield its secrets from prying eyes.

“I can’t show this to you,” she said again. “Not until you hear my story.” And this is the story she told: “When I was in 3 Grade, I was diagnosed with cancer. It was Gehinnom on this world. I went through two years of torture – pain, needles, and nausea – oh, the nausea was so bad; it felt like there was a roller coaster roiling in my insides. rd

I was so scared. I remember thinking that this sickness wasn’t like anything I’d ever had before. It wasn’t like I could take pink medicine and Motrin, and go back to school in two days. And I’d never heard of kids whose hair fell out!

My hair was all over the place. That was, in a way, the hardest for me. I remember passing a mirror and

44

thinking, ‘who’s that weird-looking person?’ and then getting a jolt and remembering – ‘oh, that’s me!’

One day, after two years of being sick, we went to the hospital to get my latest test results. The doctor was very excited. He made this big announcement: “Leah, you don’t have cancer anymore!” I was absolutely thrilled. I thought, ‘now I can just be a normal girl again.’ The doctor said he still had some things to discuss with my parents, so I left the room.

But I didn’t close the door all the way, so I was able to hear what he was saying.

“Like I said before, Leah is cured,” he said. “We don’t expect the cancer to come back. She is a healthy child.” Then his voice grew grave.

“But there was some damage,” he said. “She will never be able to have children.”

I felt like a rock had crashed onto my head. Here I

was, listening in on a conversation I was obviously not meant to hear, and I didn’t know what to do with the information. I was young, but I understood very well that my cure had come at a very, very steep price. I didn’t tell my parents that I had overheard the doctor, but for weeks, I walked around with this recording in my brain, playing the words, ‘I can’t have children. I can’t have children.’ Every time I saw a mother with her newborn, every time I watched a baby smile or coo or say something funny, my heart lurched and I thought, “I am never going to have that.” It was heavy stuff for an eleven year old.

The secret proved too colossal for me, but I couldn’t share my pain with my parents. They’d already suffered so much, and were going out of their way to make me happy. They so badly wanted me to have a normal childhood! But I had to tell someone, or my heart would burst. So I confided in my best friend, Ruchy. For years, whenever I needed to unburden my heart, I cried to her.

Ruchy got married soon after our graduation. By that time, it became obvious that I couldn’t do the same. The shidduch market was too small for a girl who couldn’t have children. To fill the emptiness, I spent hours at Ruchy’s home, helping her with the children and becoming nearly a member of the family.

I was there when she came home from the hospital with her seventh child. I took the baby from her arms and gazed at his perfect face, and let the newbaby deliciousness wash over me. It was bliss. This was as close as I could expect to come to the joys of motherhood, and I savored every precious moment.

But the very next day, something went terribly wrong.

In the middle of the night, Ruchy was rushed back to the hospital. For days, she hovered between this world and the next. I spent hours at her bedside, and could see that she was tormented. And then she passed away.

The shivah was heartbreaking. I wasn’t officially one of the mourners, and no one came to comfort me, but my heart was ripped in two. I had lost my dear, dear friend; the one person in the world who understood me. And I couldn’t look at the children! They were orphans! Bashefer! Ruchy’s tiny baby would never know his mother! The little boys were lisping Kaddish, the little

girls were confused and hurting. There wasn’t a lollipop or toy in the world that could take away the pain.

At the end of the shloshim, I got a shocking phone call.

It was Ruchy’s husband, and he was calling to tell me his wife’s dying wish.

“Ruchy knew she was dying,” he said. “She was very distraught, very worried. The children were very much on her mind. She couldn’t bear the thought that they would grow up without a mother. She asked me to remarry – but not just anyone.

‘They need someone who will be a real mother to them, someone who will treat them as if they are her own,’ she said. ‘And she asked me to suggest a shidduch between us.”

And so, in this very strange twist of fate, the girl who couldn’t have children became a mother of seven, overnight.”

“That was me,” the woman in the chair said. “I have been taking care of the children for a year now. They’re mine. But I still have a dream – I want to have my own baby.” She lay the folder on the desk.

“Now you can see my file,” she said. “Medically, I don’t stand a chance. But maybe now that you know my story, you’ll look at me, not at my numbers.”

Her story pierced the heart of the Bonei Olam counselor she had met.

And though her numbers looked every bit as bad as she had said, and though nearly every doctor he contacted wouldn’t touch the case, he wouldn’t back down. He searched the entire world until one doctor agreed to try.

Bonei Olam funded the treatment.

And the girl who couldn’t have a baby, the cancer survivor who was doomed to a life of loneliness and pain, gave birth to her eighth child.

Today, children with Leah’s form of cancer face a much more certain future. Thanks to advances in medical care, as well as Bonei Olam’s expertise and assistance, most survivors can look forward to building healthy families.

Hear this true story from Rabbi Bochner.

Call 718.534.0054 to hear a live recording.

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Message in a Bottle We’re putting this letter in a bottle To let you know That we are stranded – Stranded – do you know what that means?

We’re here on this island, And no one can help us!

We’re all alone here.

We have no one to turn to But you!

We’re casting this bottle out to sea.

We imagine what it’ll go through.

Because we’ve also ridden some mighty waves, Thrown this way and that, And hoped we wouldn’t be dashed against the rocks Though we were! Oh, we were!

Our hopes were dashed More times than we care to count.

We’re hoping you’ll find our bottle And won’t ignore it.

But if you’re reading these words, It means you got our message.

So let me spell it out for you.

The name of the island is “Infertility.”

It’s a harsh, harsh place to be, And we so don’t want to live out our days here.

So please, please don’t ignore these words.

Rescue us!

Thank you for your kindness. You’re giving us hope.

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Our Story in Numbers Bonei Olam has been helping waiting couples for 20 years. Ever since our founding in 1999, we’ve helped bring the dream of parenthood to thousands of couples around the world. Our 53 counselors in 14 regional chapters field some 500 calls a day worldwide, and in 5779, over 700 babies were born with our assistance.

The average cost per treatment is $18,000, and Bonei Olam’s annual budget is over $10,000,000. With a staggering 1 in 6 couples struggling with infertility, our services have touched the lives of nearly every family, street and group of friends. The number of Bonei Olam babies increases every day. To date, as we go to print, the count is at an astounding

8,204 babies.

Join us in partnering with Hashem in the fulfillment of His promise to Avraham Avinu: ‫והרבה ארבה את זרעך ככוכבי השמים‬ ‫וכחול אשר על שפת הים‬ It takes a team like the Bonei Olam medical board with its medical advisors to guide and connect patients to the best doctor, fertility clinic,or research establishment best suited to their needs.

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NE BO

I OLA M

SERVICES Doctors/ Treatments

Bonei Olam funds exorbitantly expensive doctors’ visits and fertility treatments, removing the single largest barrier to parenthood: lack of funds.

Global Medical Network

Bonei Olam’s global medical network and Bonei Olam without Borders programs eliminate geographic limitations and brings the best fertility care in the world to couples, wherever they might live.

Medication

Fertility treatment involves highly specialized, expensive medication. Bonei Olam foots the pharmacy bill.

Free Loan

When couples wish to pay for their own treatment, Bonei Olam offers long term interestfree loans to help.

Genetics

Bonei Olam’s mission is to help couples have healthy families. Our brilliant genetics team works to unearth the genes that cause devastating illness and helps couples circumvent the disease through treatment. (See page 86)

Cryo

Bonei Olam provides fertility preservation and cryo services both pre and post cancer and in other circumstances.

High-Risk Care

Most treatments aren’t covered by insurance, but the right plan can help couples save thousands of dollars. Bonei Olam funds insurance plans and advocacy so that couples are covered.

Medical Referral

Waiting couples don’t know where to turn for help. Bonei Olam’s medical referrals guide them to the doctors most suited to their case.

Bonei Olam funds High-Risk Care for couples in need of specialized support before their babies are born.

Lab

Bonei Olam has its very own fertility lab that conducts comprehensive testing not available elsewhere. This lab often spells salvation to couples with no other apparent path to parenthood.

24 Hour Hotline

Longest run ning case leading to a yeshuah

Our medical hotline offers information and guidance 24/7.

B

O

14 YEARS

N

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O L A M

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Become the philanthropist you want to be. You’ll earn the zechus of building a family — l’illuy nishmas a loved one, as a zechus, or to celebrate a special occasion.

We’ll give $1,800 in your name on the day you choose to a Bonei Olam couple, and hang a Parnes Hayom poster in our office on that date.

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Sand Art Today we made pictures with sand, Me and my son, it was grand, With red, green and yellow, We made a cute fellow, Holding a flag in his hand.

Today we smeared lots of glue, And sprinkled pink, orange and blue, It speckled his shirt, The floor and my skirt, There was even sand inside my shoe.

Today, while I swept up the mess, It suddenly struck me, that yes, It happened, ‘twas wild, It was real! I’ve a child!

Bonei Olam, thank you for this bliss.

81

MAP of LIFE Mazel Tov, it’s a boy – with his father’s blue eyes, his mother’s graceful fingers, and hopefully, his great-great-grandfather’s brilliant mind.

The baby’s traits are not random. The shape of his face, his gait, the quirky way he’ll wink when something pleases him, are all passed down from previous generations. So how does this tiny creation get his mother’s hoarse voice and his elter zeide’s habit of drumming his fingers on his shtender? It’s all in his genes.

Every human being is born with a “program,” his very own genetic code, with genes passed down from his parents and ancestors. This code is often compared to an intricate map or computer system – yet it is so complex; so intricate; it remains unrivaled by even the most sophisticated computer programs in the world.

The genetic code is the baby’s DNA – a system built of twenty three sets of chromosomes that are duplicated in every one of the 26 billion cells in his body. By the time he reaches adulthood, there will be several trillion cells in his body. Every single one will bear the very same DNA, the same twenty three pairs of chromosomes that make up his genetic code.

Tall or short? Blonde or auburn? Healthy or not?

It is this last question that brings Bonei Olam to the fore. When couples face thorny genetic issues that affect the future of their families, Bonei Olam works with them to unravel the mysteries of the genetic code, so that they can have healthy families.

“Our mission is to help couples not only have children, but to have healthy children,” says Rabbi Schlomo Bochner. To that end, Bonei Olam has invested tremendous effort and resources in establishing Gene-arations, a genetics department that conducts research and works tirelessly to help its couples. Some of the community’s most brilliant minds come together at Gene-arations, and with exceptional siyata dishmaya, experience success so remarkable, their work often appears in prestigious

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medical journals. Bonei Olam’s genetics work focuses largely on identifying and isolating the genes responsible for disease.

That is no simple matter. While there are only twenty three sets of chromosomes, each chromosome contains a tremendous amount of genetic information. It takes just a single mutation, a tiny alteration or fault on one miniscule section of a chromosome, to wreak havoc on a family’s life.

Asher Lehman was a charming baby. Blessed with golden curls and a sparkling personality, he was, as his mother said, “an absolute joy.” But shortly before his second birthday, his development took a strange turn.

Instead of learning new skills, he began losing old ones. First he stopped going up and down the stairs. Then he stopped walking. In a very short time, the once-mischievous toddler could do nearly nothing.

Asher’s doctors didn’t offer much hope. They prepared his young parents for a long, painful journey that would likely end in the worst possible way – and warned them about having other children.

“Asher’s problem is genetic,” they said. “We don’t know the name of his disease or exactly how it happened, but one thing is clear. Your future children have a very high risk of suffering from the same condition.” For Asher’s parents, that statement was worse than anything they’d endured.

In one fell swoop, they were losing their precious firstborn child and their chance at having a healthy family.

When the Lehman’s reached out to Bonei Olam, the Gene-arations department went into high gear. They had to identify the faulty gene in Asher’s genetic code – so that they could isolate it and prevent its appearance in the future. After much complex, comprehensive and costly research, they struck gold: they found the exact location of the faulty gene on Asher’s DNA. Asher passed away several years ago, and his parents will mourn him forever. But they are comforted by their other offspring – three healthy, lively children who bring them joy and will, with Hashem’s help, grant them generations.

Bonei Olam’s genetics department also helps families with known genetic issues.

ents concerned about having their children marry into families with genetic issues.

The Schwartz family often fields calls from people seeking advice about cardiologists and surgeons. With several members of the extended family suffering from congenital heart defects, they’ve become unwilling experts in the field. The condition has taken its toll. In the past year, two first cousins lost children to the disease, and another baby is on the national heart transplant list. The family reached out to Bonei Olam for help.

Esty Cooper’s parents were researching a fine young man who seemed like a perfect match for their daughter. Yet one thing was keeping them from going into the shidduch. The boy had two siblings with albinism.

Esty’s parents were understandably concerned – but with good shidduch suggestions hard to come by, and everything else about the shidduch sounding right, they didn’t want to just let it go.

When Moshe Schwartz called Bonei Olam, his first words were, “we don’t have a fertility problem, so I’m not sure you can help us.” But the counselor who took the call assured him that he had reached the right address. He directed Mr. Schwartz to the Gene-arations department, where a brilliant geneticist helped him take the next step.

Shidduch inquiries make up a significant portion of calls to Gene-arations. Parents have questions – and they are desperate for answers.

Within the next few weeks, the entire extended family, including grandparents, aunts and uncles, and distant cousins, were given cheek swabs. Their saliva samples were sent to a sophisticated lab, which isolated the faulty gene and identified which members of the family were carriers. Unmarried family members were told exactly what to test for before embarking on a shidduch, and married couples were assisted in having only healthy babies in the future.

“Will a girl’s medical condition be passed to her children?”

While Bonei Olam usually assists married couples, they also play a major role in singles’ lives. In addition to families like the Schwartzes, who have known genetic issues of their own, Bonei Olam fields calls from par-

“Is the hearing loss in this family genetic?”

“What is the chance that a child’s uncle’s dwarfism will appear in her children?”

Bonei Olam helps parents unravel the complexities of genetics – and determine if a match is a good choice from a health perspective. With genetic testing running into many thousands of dollars, and post-genetic-diagnosis treatment costing nearly double the price of helping a couple with regular fertility issues, Gene-arations is one of Bonei Olam’s most expensive divisions. Yet as with every other fertility issue, Bonei Olam stands true to its mission. They will do anything possible to help couples have healthy generations - no matter how high the price tag.

Numb e diseas r of rare es iden tified and is olated by our genetic s team B

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Shidduchim

My Future is Your Future My Prayer is Your Prayer Since its inception, Ohel Sarala singles and Bonei Olam couples have both merited to see astonishing success! The powerful bond formed between people in Am Yisroel has resulted in hundreds of

how it works

singles and couples building their own Bayis Ne’eman B’yisroel.

1

A single seeking a shidduch signs up to the Ohel Sarala initiative.

Joining requires a donation (no minimum) that will help fund the fertility treatment of a childless couple.

2

Bonei Olam pairs him/her up with a childless couple. In order to protect the privacy of all participants, all parties are assured complete anonymity.

3

They each pray on each other’s behalf. Only Hebrew names are exchanged. Both pray that their benefactor merit a yeshua.

To sign up visit www.ohelsarala.org or email info@ohelsarala.org 94

Call/Text/Whatsapp 718-475-1357 |

@ohelsarala

If anyone knows how difficult it is to be single, it’s me.

I was in shidduchim for 11 years.

One day, my brother approached me.

“Look, Chaya,” he said, “you’re not getting any younger.” He told me about this organization Ohel Sarala, which was a “davening partnership” between singles seeking shidduchim and couples struggling with infertility. When I learned that the program offered complete anonymity, I signed on. I gave “my couple” money toward their fertility treatments and received their Hebrew names, with no other identifying information. They, in turn, received my Hebrew name and began davening that I find my bashert.

It took four months.

One day, I got an email that my couple was expecting.

I was asked to continue davening, but to direct it toward them having a healthy child. I was ecstatic for my couple. I pictured their euphoria when they heard they were expecting a child. It brought tears to my eyes.

Could my tefillos have contributed to their salvation?

It was surreal.

That night the excitement began to ebb and I began to pity myself. “Hey, what about me Hashem?” My heart throbbed painfully. “If you can create a baby for this

couple, can’t you get my chosson to find me?” I tried pushing those thoughts aside and davened fervently that my couple merit a beautiful, healthy baby. I made brachos parties every shabbos with my nieces. I said extra tehillim. All this for my couple. I tried very hard not to let my own sadness diminish my tefillos.

And then I met the man that made my entire wait worthwhile.

We got married last week.

When I informed Ohel Sarala that I got married, they responded with the news that my couple had a healthy baby girl-the same exact week! In an interesting twist, they named their baby Chaya Sara, mine and my mother’s name combined!

Hodu L’Hashem Ki Tov! I am forever grateful to Hashem for allowing me to see-what I always believedthat He orchestrates every single person’s yeshua. And that every yeshua has its designated moment.

After meeting my husband, I understood that each and every tefillah I uttered during those 11 years was necessary to bring me to this man. Without a doubt, it made me into who I am today.

To all those who are still awaiting salvation, do not despair. Hashem did not forget you. Know that he is preparing your yeshua.

—Chaya bas Sarah 95

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ORDER FORM 2. Free Gifts Selection

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Make your selection below by checking the applicable numbers. If you want more than one ticket of any item, write quantity of tickets in boxes below.

1

3

2

4

5

7

6

$

8

75

AND UP

Grand Prize Eretz $10,000.00 Yisroel

25

9

11

10

12

KMR Vacation

All Paid Up!

SOIE by Renaissance New Kitchen Renaissance Furniture

13

14

15

Bonei Olam DVD

Rosemarie Wig

16 $

Loeffler Furniture

California Getaway

Heritage Silver

18

17 Westfield Shopping

Add Some Sparkle

19

20

In Focus

S&W Fashion

27

28

26

25

Rainbow Lighting

Linen Luxury

21 TH Furniture

29

Kaufman’s Timepiece Jewelry

22 Oh Baby!

Tuition

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23 $1,800 Visa Card

125

24 Timeless Jewelry

$

30

31

100,000 Points

Kivrei Tzaddikim

33

32

Baking Bash

42

$1,500 Visa Card

Woodbury Commons

43

Mefoar Judaica

44

L’shem Esti's Shamayim Fashion

Finalé Boutique

34 Swing Set

45 Aim B'Yisroel

Catskills Getaway

35 Toy Utopia

Florida Package

36

37

All That Glitters

Ladida

46

47

Amsel Jewelry

Home Office

53

48

49

50

51

52

Picture Perfect

$500 Uber

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Doona

Rachel Stern

59

60

Sleep in Comfort

39

38

Bugaboo Green's Bed &Home

Building Mitzvah Kinder Toys

41

$1,500 Amazon

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$

Miriam Pascal Kindershpiel Cookbook English Yiddish

250

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Microwave Cover

Bluetooth Speaker

Kindershpiel English or

Yiddish

54 Camera

55

56

American Girl

57

58

Playmobil Playmobil Emergency Fun

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$

500 Pyrex Dish OR choose any two gifts above

61 Aspiring Musician

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Super / Jackpot $

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Drawing Date: Tuesday, January 28, 2020

98

Patterned Bowl

OR choose any two gifts from $125 section

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40

Bluetooth Speaker

180

CHOOSE ONE

Toby Wig

Gold Challah Water Basket Bottle

To the true

HIDDEN TREASURES of our auction Your efforts made waves.

You made our mission your own, and selflessly gave of your time and energy to help childless couples realize their dream. You reached out to friends and relatives, made phone calls, hosted events, and went out of your way to make this auction a success.

Thank you for helping us fill castles with joy!

PREPAID COORDINATORS Yitty Beilush Ruchelle Bick Chayala Censor Zissy Derbaremdiger

Chaya Tzurty Elias Chaya Yenty Goldberger Leah Esther Gordon Rivky Halberstam

Chayala Herschlag Devorah Zeldy Horowitz Sara Leah Klein Chany Linder

Chayala Moskowitz Devoire Moskowitz Toby Porgesz Rivky Reinhold

Shaindy Reinhold Yocheved Rosenberg Chanie Winkler Chaya Suri Wolf

PREPAID REPS Blimy Adler Etty Adler Feigele Appel Sara Etty Appelbaum Rifky Ariel Chana Rochel Ashkenazi Shiffy Ashkenazi Masha Necha Auerbach Esty Ausch Ruchie Bakon Shifra Barminka Sara Bashy Beigel Miriam Beilush Tillie Beilush Miriam Berger Esty Bernstein Shaina Rochel Bialestock Shainy Blotner Zissy Bluzenstein Chaya Henny Bochner Laya’la Bochner Chana Esther Bornfreund Perela Bornstein Miriam Bretter Chany Brisk Frady Brodt Malky Brodt Goldi Bruck Shaindy Bruck Raizy Brull Malky Censor Etty Cisner Chany Desser Chaya Raizy Deutsch Sarah Malky Dresdner Malka Zissy Einhorn Chaya Sara Eisdorfer Tzirel Leah Eisner Raizy Elbaum Suri Elias Chavy Engel Chevi Engel Surie Engelberg Mindy Englander Rivky Englander Goldy Fefer Baila Feig Hudyee Fekete Perry Felberbaum Shaindy Fisch

Leah Fischman Simi Fishman Tzivi Fishman Frady Fixler Rivkala Flam Esty Fleischer Bruchy Fleischman Yitty Fleischman Reizy Frankel Shaindy Frankel Mindy Freudenberger Pessie Freund Chavy Fried Chaya Sury Fried Raizy Fried Rifky Friedlander Blimi Friedman Chaya Suri Friedman Frimi Friedman Gitty Friedman Rivky Friedman Shifra Miriam Friedman Yides Friedman Breindy Frisch Leah Fuchs Rochel Leah Fuhrer Sara Gitty Garfinkel Toby Garfinkel Chany Gelkopf Ricki Geller Mishket Glassman Rivky Glatzer Esther Miriam Gluck Suri Gluck Aliza Gold Basya Brocha Goldberger Tzivi Goldberger Fradel Goldman Leah Goldman Faigy Gordon Reizy Gottdenger Chaya Blimie Graus Tzivy Green Tzurty Green Toby Greenbaum Molly Greenberger Aidy Grosinger Chaya Raizel Grosinger Esther Gross Yocheved Gross

Rivky Grossberger Zeasy Grossberger Chavi Grossman Leah Grunbaum Chanie Grunfeld Esther Fally Grunwald Malkie Gubitz Bruchy Guttman Ratza Hendel Hager Suri Hager Devoiry Halberstam Leah Halberstam Chumie Halpern Yitty Halpert Serel Heimfeld Devoiry Herbst Sara Perel Herman Malky Hershkowitz Leah Hochman Toby Hochman Esther Shaindy Hoffer Chani Horowitz Chumy Horowitz Malky Horowitz Rochmy Horowitz Nechy Illowits Reizy Ilowitz Kreindy Indig Perele Kaff Chani Kahan Devoiry Kahan Chaya Rena Kantor Sury Karmel Sara Zissy Kasten Esther Katz Gittel Devoiry Katz Miriam Katz Rifky Katz Rivky Katz Tamara Katz Chani Kenigsberg Zelda Kirsch Zissy Klagsbrun Bassy Klein Chaya Gitty Klein Layla Klein Leah Malka Klein Suki Klein Yitty Klein Chayala Kletzky

Zlotty Knopfler Chumy Kohen Shiffy Kohn Faiga Leah Kovalenko Chana Blimy Kraus Libby Krausz Nofar Krausz Brocha Kugelman Devora Kuperman Chumie Labin Bruchy Landau Devoiry Landau Esty Landau Toby Landau Hindy Langsam Miriam Laufer Shaindy Lebovits Bruchi Lederer Chaya Matty Lefkowitz Hendy Lefkowitz Sheindy Lefkowitz Rochel Laya Leifer Minky Lev Malky Levi Sarah Levine Blimy Lichtenstadter Estie Lichter Gitty Lieberman Racheli Lisauer Miriam Lobel Perela Loeffler Blimie Lowy Dini Lowy Raizy Lowy Libby Luria Esther Margulies Esty Markovits Chaya Markowitz Shani McCarthy Michly Melen Suri Messinger Beily Miller Esther Leah Miller Tzila Monheit Silky Moskowitz Hindy Mozes Rifky Muller Leah Neugarten Bruchie Neuschloss Chaiky Neustadt

Chaya Feigy Niederman Bruchie Oberlander Chani Oppenheim Matty Ort Suri Paneth Shaindy Perlow Gitty Perlstein Esther Frady Pfeifer Idy Philipson Sarah Rivka Pilchick Suri Pollak Perela Preisler Chana Prero Nechamy Rabin Roizy Rapoport Chanie Raskin Breindy Ravitz Ruchie Reichberg Miriam Ritterman Rivka Mindy Rosen Sara Rechie Rosen Esther Rivky Rosenberg Libby Rosenberg Rivky Rosenberg Ruchie Rosenberg Shaindy Rosenberg Tzivi Rosenberg Raizy Rosenfeld Devoiry Rosengarten Breindy Roth Ruchy Roth Chany Rubin Chevy Rubin Esther Rivky Rubin Frady Rubin Toby Rubin Henny Sabel Ruchy Sattelmeier Esty Schachter Rivky Schindler Roizy Schnitzer Chani Schwartz Miriam Schwartz Sura Malky Schwartz Shoshana Segal Devoiry Shaingarten Chaya Libby Shmedra Perela Silber Blimie Silberger Faigy Singer

Raizy Solny Chani Spitz Henny Spitzer Ryna Spitzer Perele Sporn Gitty Stauber Rifky Stauber Tzippy Steiff Esti Steinmetz Gitty Steinmetz Chaya Sury Stempel Miriam Stiel Chaya Ruchy Strasser Shaindel Leah Swimer Shaindy Swimer Fraida Leah Taub Chany Teitelbaum Dvorah Teitelbaum Perela Teitelbaum Soshi Teitelbaum Yenty Templer Shani Trenk Chantzy Twersky Miriam Tyberg Naomi Vainer Chanie Vogiel Chana Nechi Wachsler Rivky Wachsman Malky Wagschal Shiffy Wajsfeld Gitty Weber Sossie Weber Temmy Weinberger Yitty Weisfeld Elky Weiss Esty Weiss Malky Weiss Mindy Weiss Rivky Weiss Udie Weiss Baily Wertzberger Itta Surie Werzberger Shifra Wettenstein Tova Wosner Zlatty Wulliger Simchy Zaidman Rochmy Zenwirth Chani Zimmerman Fraide Blima Zitronenbaum

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