Gran Alacant advertiser Dec 08

Happy Christmas Santa Pola Bears??

from the two of us

Hello Everyone, Welcome to our Christmas magazine. We can hardly believe how quickly this edition has come round again.

We expect that this month will see plenty of movement on Gran Alacant with people coming here and others going back, to families for Christmas, but, wherever you are we hope you have a great time and would like to thank you all for your support throughout the year, it is very much appreciated.

Don’t forget that “The Winery” holds our extra copies, so if you are unable to obtain your copy you can collect your FREE mag by calling into see John or Anne.

We would like to point out, that due to the extra demand for advertising, priority will be given to advertisers who are up to date with their payments.

Happy Christmas from Barry & Sandra

PROBABLY the BEST ADVERTISING PRICES ON THE COSTAS 35 euro per month for a 90mm x 60mm advert 55 euro per month for a 128mm x 92mm advert 95 euro per month for a 153mm x 202mm advert 110 euro per month for a 153mm x 232mm advert

page number 4/5/

News pages

30

Tourist info

56

Secret garden

6

48 57 58

60/62

Beauty page British Legion

Computer page

Library activities

Dogs for adoption

60

GA Darts league

64

Vet page

61 65 66

68/69

Entertainment scene Forums

Halloweʼen pics Emails

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Wordsearch

75

G.A. Train timetable

73 75 76 77

78/79

Sudoku

Map of Alicante

Map of Gran Alacant Map of Santa Pola Bus timetables

Our little dog from the front cover has hidden herself away in the magazine, can you find her?

Last month she was by the barrels at the winery.

For a free quote contact Barry or Sandra on Home phone: 966 699 167 (answerphone available) or Email: granalacantadvertiser@hotmail.co.uk or read the whole magazine on our website at www.granalacantadvertiser.com

JUST A NOTE: We do provide all of our advertisers with FREE design work and therefore ask that this work not be supplied and used by other publications.

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'Merry Christmas to all our customers'.

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We at your Gran Alacant Advertiser continue to bring you all of the news from the Gran Alacant Councillor, Loreto Cascales, as we have since May 2005.

The new General Plan for Santa Pola and Gran Alacant (which includes the golf course) surfaced again this month. (No it has not died a death).

Various extra bits of information asked for by the Valencian Government have now all been supplied by the Santa Pola Town Hall.

So things are still happening, slowly slowly.

The new park on Gran Alacant is either being built at Park A on our map or Park B. Which ever site is started first, the second site will follow with another Park, next year.

The intention being to give us one up and down the hill.

Park A is up the maxcoop hill and will be on the right before the roundabout. Park B will be on the edge of El Clot at the bottom of the hill along from the Carabasi Bars.

An area is being cleared and tidied up, opposite our new advertiser, Los

photo: May 2005

Flamencos. Because of the wonderful views from here the Town Hall are to put in a nice seating area.

The slippery dangerous pavements going in either direction from Quicksave, are all to be replaced and made wider. More pavements being widened are those coming down the hill from Maxcoop.

Parents with prams, taking children to the new school are having big problems negotiating the existing lamp posts in the middle of the existing paths.

The new Life Resort at the top of the hill, have donated a large room to Santa Pola Town Hall, to ease the pressure on their smaller facilities, in the library. The room will also now be made available for many extra activities.

Residents opposite this Life Resort have had terrible problems with water running from the site, into their basements. Drain work is now to take place to solve this problem.

Talking of drains. Last month we asked about a blocked drain near the Carabasi Bars. Loreto phoned Aquaguest and we met them the day after our meeting. Looking down the hole, it was found that the builder has never connected any pipework to this drain, so obviously the water had nowhere to go. The same problem is evident on the first roundabout that you come to when leaving the N332 to our urbanisation. The same problem exists, no drains connected. Quotes

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for the work are now being prepared in readiness for the problems to be sorted.

Rubbish, rubble and all types of nasties are being dumped outside houses in an area up the hill, overlooking the sea. Pictures were

sent to us, along with photos of uncovered electric boxes, with wires showing for little fingers to play with. The builder of this particular area is being asked to do a bit of a tidy up. It is unpleasent for residents to have to look out of their windows at this kind of mess.

Sometimes it is up to us all to do our bit. Hence the nice story in this months edition of local residents taking things into their own hands.

Unfortunately when we still have people dumping in the roads (picture above) nowhere near a bin, just expecting someone to tidy up

after them.

In an earlier edition of our magazine we mentioned how many people were asking about a Church being built on Gran Alacant.

It seems Masa were offered land by the Town Hall to build a Church, but in this financial climate they could not afford to build one. So, as they own the buildings in the pool areas of the Monte y Mar urbanisations near the new school, they decided to use one of these. Unfortunately Masa did not discuss their plans (although they by law did not have to as they own the building) with the complex but, just turned up one morning to start work, causing concerns with the residents in the area.

At the moment it is an on going situation.

In houses situated around the school, a householder caught a youngster grafitiing the wall. The child was delivered to the parent.

We were asked if the headmistress could have a word with the school children about defacing property next to the school. Nip it in the bud, before it becomes a big problem.

The boat we talked about last month was moved to its resting place behind the Town Hall in readiness for its transformation into a museum.

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Hi everyone, here is the follow up information on Hopi Ear Candling as discussed in last months edition.

The candles are hollow tubes made from organic linen impregnated with beeswax, honey, St Johns Wort and medicinal herbs such as sage and chamomile.

They have a filter towards the bottom which prevents any liquid wax or candle residue from entering the ear. The candle works on a chimney principle, drawing many impurities to the surface. They also equalize the pressure in the head and ears and the healing vapour can protect and soothe irritation, stimulate the lymph glands an so the immune system.

What are Hopi Ear Candles?

What happens during a treatment?

You lie on a couch with your head comfortably to one side and I then place the lighted candle carefully in your ear. I then place my hands gently around the base of the candle, protecting your head, there is absolutely no danger and no possibility of burning. The candle is extinguished before it reaches my hands and so a long time before it will reach your head. After repeating the other ear you will receive a gentle, healing head massage that will enhance the effects of the candles.

Does it hurt?

No. as the candle burns you may experience gentle reassuring warmth, and you will hear a pleasant soft crackling sound – like a distant sparkler, or seashell.

If you are interested, have any questions please call me at my salon (see advert below) Next month I will discuss Skin Care.

Wishing you all a very merry Christmas and happy New Year.

Dott

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A doctor on his morning walk noticed an older lady sitting on her front step smoking a cigar, so he walked up to her and said, 'I couldn't help noticing how happy you look! What is your secret?'

'I smoke ten cigars a day,' she said. 'Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint. Apart from that, I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels every week, and eat only junk food. On weekends, I pop pills, and don't exercise at all.'

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Happy Christmas from...

AURORA + GA0061 Duplex, 2/3 bed, 2 bath, terrace, solarium, fully furnished, A/A walking distance to the beach, com pool.

Bottom GA 135,000€

BRISAMAR GA0084 Duplex, corner, 2 bed, 2 bath, terrace, solarium with sea view, furnished, private pool, tennis and com pool.

Gated complex 170,000€

VILLA GA0141 Villa 3/4 bed, 3 bath, underbuild/BED 4, sea views, sun terrace, fireplace and private pool 296,500€

ALTOMAR II GA00168 Apartment, ground floor, 2 bed, 1 bath, furnished, aircon/heating and 3 communal swimming pools 90,000€

to as m t ris Ch y pp Ha

one

and

all

'That is absolutely amazing! How old are you?'

'Twenty-four,' she replied.

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499

UNTIL END OF STOCK

€1,399

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“JUST GET ON THE TRAIN” to bring you up the hill Lounge Bar Open every night with Live Entertainment on dates as listed below.

Opening Hours Mon - Sat 7.30pm till late Sundays CLOSED

D E C E M B E R

We would like to thank all our customers for theIr trade over the last year and wish them a very merry christmas and happy new year.

E N T E R T A I N M E N T

1st darts 2nd quiz 3rd tbc 4th Alan Warden 5th disc/karaoke 6th closed (Wedding party) 7th closed 8th darts 9th quiz 10th tbc 11th Alan Warden 12th disco/karaoke 13th Lucinda 14th closed 15th darts 16th quiz 17th tbc 18th Alan Warden 19th disco/karaoke 20th Jack Clayton 21st closed 22nd darts 23rd quiz 24th Greg march (ticket only) 25th closed 26th closed 27th in house party music 28th closed 29th/30th in house music 31st Alan Warden + disco (ticket only) SOLD OUT.

Book now for Birthdays, Anniversaries, or Special Parties - We cater for all your requirements.

Tel: 676 529 640 Av. Escandinavia Gran Alacant (Next to Quicksave) www.raffles-alicante.com

FOR EXACT LOCATION SEE MAP AT BACK OF THIS MAGAZINE

TO ADVERTISE IN THE “GRAN ALACANT ADVERTISER” phone: 966 699 167

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La Marina..La Marina..La Marina..La Marina..La Marina..La Marina..La Marina

La Marina..La Marina..La Marina..La Marina..La Marina

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La Marina..La Marina..La Marina..La Marina..La Marina

D1984 A detached villa being presented in superb condition and furnished. The main build comprises living room, kitchen, utility room, two bedrooms and bathroom with a full suite. Ample room to accommodate a pool.

Price: 123.600 euros

D1859 Having been extended, this detached property now offers: spacious living room, independent newly fitted kitchen, two bedrooms and two bathrooms. Being sold fully furnished.

Close to amenities. Beautiful views.

Price: 141.500 euros

D2089 A beautifully presented villa offering living room, independent kitchen, bedroom, bathroom and guest accommodation of salon / bedroom and bathroom. The property also boasts a small swimming pool.

Price: 156.000 euros

TO ADVERTISE IN THE “GRAN ALACANT ADVERTISER� phone: 966 699 167

La Marina..La Marina..La Marina..La Marina..La Marina..La Marina..La Marina

D1899 Barclays Properties offer a superb opportunity to acquire a detached villa at a bargain price. Briefly comprising living room, kitchen, utility room, two bedrooms, bathroom and garage.

Room to accommodate a pool.

Price: 105.000 euros

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La Marina..La Marina..La Marina..La Marina..La Marina..La Marina..La Marina..

La Marina..La Marina..La Marina..La Marina..La Marina

The “Liberty Seguros” advert in La Marina

directions are not on the map on page 12, but are on the map in their advert.

For Marina’s Hair & beauty see the map on page 12

"LOOKING FOR OFFICE STAFF SPEAKING SPANISH, ENGLISH AND GERMAN" INMEDIATE START!!

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La Marina..La Marina..La Marina..La Marina..La Marina La Marina..La Marina..La Marina..Larina..

Christmas Joke Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It represents a candle', he said.

'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'

Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'

The man replied, 'These are Carols.'

ho! ho! ho!

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The Winery (below) and Spicy Paradise (opposite) are both at the end of the road that holds the Gran Alacant Thursday market. (see the map at the back of this magazine) The Winery holds all of our excess magazines, so if you can’t find a copy, just call here.

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TO ADVERTISE IN THE “GRAN ALACANT ADVERTISER” phone: 966 699 167

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Below and on the next two pages are businesses in the Sierra Mar Urbanisation.

The maps on the adverts show the entrance to the complex.

This area is just off the road that holds the Gran Alacant Thursday market.

Refer to our Gran Alacant map at the back of this magazine.

We now include Natural Eyelash Extensions at the salon .

PLUS “Fernando” the best nail technician in Spain, will be in Mavi’s salon on the first thre e Saturdays in December.

Come along for a demonstration

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Below and opposite, Flannagans and Saffron are both in the Plaza Mayor Complex, which is a child friendy, car free area marked on the GA map in the back of this magazine

*see our WINTER SPECIALS *Ruths Sunday Lunches 3 courses for 7-95 euro 12-30 / 6-00pm *Happy Hour every night 5-8pm

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*Bingo 9pm Thursday *Live entertainment Fri/Sat *Carling 1-50 euro per bottle phone 686 431 654 or 698 801 601

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If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.

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For take aways ring - 966 699 102

A holy man was having a conversation with God one day and said, ' God , I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like.'God led the holy man to two doors. He opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in.

In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew, which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water.

The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles, that were strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful. But because the handle was longer than

TO ADVERTISE IN THE “GRAN ALACANT ADVERTISER� phone: 966 699 167

Ref 124 Santa Pola Del Este.

Reformed 2 bed, 1bath, Seaviews. 185,000€

Ref 123 La Marina.

Detached 3 bed, 2 bath, Communal Pool.

225,000€

Ref 131 Petrel.

Detached Villa 3 bed, 2 bath, Independant Apt. 245,000€

Ref 127 Gran Alacant, Detached 4 bed, 3 bath Villa, Private Pool. 320,000€

MORE PROPERTIES ADVERTISED ON OUR WEBSITE at:- www.chardsproperties.com

their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths.

The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering. God said, 'You have seen Hell.' They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one. There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man's mouth water. The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking. The holy man said, 'I don't understand.' It is simple,' said God . 'It requires but one skill. You see they have learned to feed each other, while the greedy think only of themselves.'

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for further information please ring: 966 792 276

Hola, hi everybody, In December there a parades of Moors and Christians held in Alicante and Monforte del Cid, Monforte is a very special place to see these parades, there are more parades than anywhere else.

The last day is really special, early in the evening there is a parade where you can see everybody enjoying and having plenty of fun, then two hours later takes place the religious procession, in my opinion this is very impressive, to see how the atmosphere changes from fiesta, noise, dancing, to a silent and solemn procession, the way they go up the steps at the church is very beautiful, and when this finishes “fire works” I reckon is very late but do not forget that we are “late birds” we live at night.

for Christmas cards wishing all your friends, relatives and loved people “Merry Christmas” I know is in January but I want you to know about the Three Kings Parades, also every where, but really special, I my opinion “magic” the oldest one held in Alcoy.

Also I would like to make a special mention to the most important sport event held in Santa Pola the International Half Marathon Villa de Santa Pola that will be held on the 18th of January at 10:30 a.m., come and enjoy this fantastic event.

To finish, dear readers I want to wish you all a ¡Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

On the 10th the coming of our Madonna Virgen de Loreto There are also fiestas in Alfaz del Pi, Agost , Callosa d’En Sarria and pilgrimages in Denia, in Sella, and the one that starts here in Santa Pola on Tamarit beach and goes to Elche.

Also I would like to talk about the flour battle that take place in Ibi, “Els Enfarinats” it’s a real battle with everybody throwing flour to each others, wearing tore old clothes.

And last come Christmas time, street lightning, “turrón” contests of Christmas Carols almost everywhere, plenty of people in the street buying anything, time

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14 Plaza Mayor, Calle Holanda 9, Gran Alacant we have reduced our prices as we import from the uk and cut out the middle man order your british turkey crown here. approx 3.6kg only €30-00

we also supply many goods to other bars and restaurants We also have a large selection of discounted Christmas goodies from the u.k. ie luxury christmas cake, christmas pudding tins, heroes, celebrations, 1.6kg roses, quality street 1.6kg tubes of smarties, minstrels, maltesers. boxes of luxury chocolates and... much much more

DAILY SPECIALS Fish, chips & mushy peas Ice cream & fruit glass of beer, wine or canned drink €10-00

tuesday special battered jumbo sausage & chips canned drink €4-50

saturday special Any pukka pie & chips €4-95

afternoon specials 2pm - 6pm small fish & chips bread & butter tea or coffee mon - sat €5-00

Tel: 966 697 070 free delivery over €10

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for all of your trips, short breaks, holidays etc Come in and browse through all of our brochures.

CHRISTMAS FESTIVITIES CHRISTMAS EVE Free entry, no tickets required.

Come and celebrate CHRISTMAS with Dave, Lorraine & family.

Music & buffet.

CHRISTMAS DAY Open 11am - 2pm for your pre lunch drink

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BOXING DAY sport from 1pm HOGMANAY Come & celebrate hogmanay with us, Scottish style, with music through the decades.

Hot buffet, FREE entry. Non ticket.

9pm till late.

NEW YEARS DAY open 2pm

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CHRISTMAS DAY MENU

Starters *Caramalized Red Onion and Goats Cheese Tart *Cream of Asparagus and Pea Soup with Asparagus Snippets and Crispy Croutons *Prawn and Crabstick Cocktail in half an Avocado with Salad Garnish

Main *Roast Breast of Turkey or *Roast Topside of Beef with Roast Potatoes, Buttered Thyme Carrots, Provencal Sprouts and Honeyed Parsnips.

Homemade Stuffing and Pan Juice Gravy.

Bread Sauce/Cranberry Sauce *Vegetarian Loaf Available

Dessert *Christmas Pudding, Brandy Butter with Custard or Pouring Cream *Blackforest Trifle with Cherry Brandy and Cream *Peach Melba with Crushed Ginger Biscuits

*to finish: Mince Pie, Tea or Coffee and favours.

FREE House Wine between 1pm and 6pm Bucks Fizz on arrival 12.30pm Adults 55euro, Children 35euro NEW YEARS EVE DANCING

Join us for Music, Fun and Games and Laughter Hot and Cold Buffet, Mulled Wine Only 15euro per head

for bookings phone 966699812 after 7pm

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TOTAL POSTAL postal services at home & abroad

KOMOMBO

handbags, ornaments, jewellery and much more

PASTELERIA & COFFEE SHOP

Welcome to COMMERCIAL

turn off the N332 betwee signposted G Bars, restaurants, sho EURONICS for all your electrical goods

pastries, cakes, coffee, food & drinks

VIDEO SHOP all up to date videos

LAVANDERIA dry cleaning & laundry

SOMETHING OLD/NEW

new and second hand clothing/ decorations & small furniture

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GRAN ALACANT CENTRE

en Alicante & Santa Pola Gran Alacant. ops. Come and enjoy!

FARMANOVA

cosmetics, personalised diets, sports nutrition, herbalist

PAPELERIA SARAI

fax, copies, school supplies, books etc

DONA MODA FASHIONS ladies fashion clothes

FRUTERIA G.A. your fruit and veg shop

MOVISTAR your mobile phone centre

TOLDOS LA MARINA awnings & pool covers

MERCADONA

AMAROS

Your travel agent on Gran Alacant.

Book your holidays & trips here.

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Your advertising with the Gran Alacant Advertiser can easily be found in our FREE printed copy & on our FREE access website, by your target audience.

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The next 7 pages show

The Carabasi Bars Complex down the hill by the Nature Reserve Come to the Carabasi Bars who can provide you with all manner of entertainment and enjoyment over the Christmas period.

Restaurants, bars, live entertainment, quizzes, karaoke etc etc.

You can even book your Christmas lunch.

DISCO & KARAOKE FREE VODKA JELLY SHOTS SANTA HATS ALLOWED! 9PM TILL LATE

CHRISTMAS EVE PARTY

FANCY DRESS (OPTIONAL) JOIN IN THE FUN! KARAOKE/DISCO/BUFFET 9PM TILL LATE

NEW YEARS EVE PARTY NITE

WATCH ALL LIVE SPORTS OVER THE FESTIVE SEASON HERE!

Happy Hours 5pm-9pm Everyday Estrella 1.50 a pint Wine 1.00 euro a glass KARAOKE NITES

THU/FRI/SAT/SUN Every week 10pm till late

FREE SHOTS FOR SINGERS

We would like to thank all our customers and friends for their support and wish them a very Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year

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CHRIS & MARIBEL WOULD LIKE TO WISH ALL OF THEIR CUSTOMERS A HAPPY CHRISTMAS & A HAPPY NEW YEAR

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The Royal British Legion in Gran Alacant held its second Branch Meeting on Thursday 6 November 2008.

More people are slowly joining the new branch.

Volunteers were asked to put their names forward to become Committee Members. Only one person volunteered, this was Maureen Kellar who was willing to take over the post of Poppy Appeal Organiser.

A suitable venue has now been found and the next meeting will be held in the Norwegian Club, Sierra Mar Urbanisation. The entrance to the complex is on Av.del. Mediterraneo opposite the Farmacia. Please park in the street.

Date: Tuesday 2nd December 2008 Venue: Norwegian Club, SierRa Mar Urbanisation.

Time: 7 for 7.30pm New members are welcome ánd you don't have to have been in the Forces to join.

For further information contact the Branch Secretary Barbara Turnbull on 608994456 or email b_dmt1966@yahoo.co.uk

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Your opportunity to rent a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom, modern Town House for a golf holiday in Spain, at the prestigious.......

La torre Jack Niclaus, Polaris World Complex.

To view the resort go to: www.polarisworld.com then go to Our resorts - La Torre To rent the house: phone (0034) 606 596 723

* Fifteen minutes from San Javier airport. * Car rental from the airport. * 2 more courses within a 10 minute drive. * Free courtesy bus to take you to each course. * Under 30 mins to the beaches of Mar Menor and Murcia City centre.

Front of house.

The view from the lounge The view from the balcony, overlooking the 15th tee.

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WELCOME to QUESADA

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Cardenal Belluga Theatre Group Annual Christmas Carol Concert The ever popular Cardenal Belluga Theatre Group have been invited to perform their Annual Christmas Carol Concerts at three venues this year.

6th December inside the social centre La Marina, 11th December at Fase 4 outside Ramon’s Bar La Marina, and on the and 13th December at the Plaza Mayor Grand Alacant, where you will be served with Mulled Wine, Hot Dogs and Hot Mince pies.

Santa will be there with the presents from the Bran tub.

The concerts start at each venue at 7.30.

All donations will go to local charities, to be announced later. For further details contact Maria On 966715891, or email mariamosley3@hotmail.com

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Only 5 minutes from Gran Alacant.

Take the N332 towards Alicante. The first right signed El Altet takes you to a roundabout. Take the first exit.

When you arrive at the first set of traffic lights turn left for Eurocars and Le Tartana or right for La Confiteria.

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A Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates.'I'm sorry,' St Peter said; 'But Heaven is suffering from an overload of goodly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals.' 'That's cool' said the blonde, 'What does the Entrance Exam consist of?' 'Just three questions' said St Peter. 'Which are?' asked the blonde. 'The first,' said St Peter, 'is, which two days of the week start with the letter 'T' '? The second is 'How many seconds are there in a year?' The third is 'What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'

'Now,' said St Peter, 'Go away and think about those questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me.' So the blonde went away and gave those three questions some considerable thought (I expect you to do the same). The following morning, St Peter called upon theblonde and asked if she had considered the questions, to which she replied, 'I have.' 'Well then,' said St Peter, 'Which two days of the week start with the letter T?' The blonde said, 'Today and Tomorrow.' St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the question.'Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three questions?' St Peter went on, 'how many seconds in a year?' The Blonde replied, 'Twelve!' 'Only twelve?' exclaimed St Peter, 'How did you arrive at that figure?' 'Easy,' said the blonde, 'there's the second of January, the second of February, right through to the second of December, giving a total of twelve seconds.'

St Peter looked at the blonde and said, 'I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a decision.' And he walked away shaking his head. A short time later, St Peter returned to the Blonde. 'I'll allow the answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven. Now, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?' The blonde replied: 'Of the three questions, I found this the easiest to answer.' 'Really!' exclaimed St Peter, 'And what is the answer?' 'It's Andy.' 'Andy??' 'Yes, Andy,' said the blonde.This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that,deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer, and turning to the blonde, asked 'How in God's name did you arrive at THAT answer?'

'Easy' said the blonde, 'Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited til his billy boiled.'

And the blonde entered Heaven...

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55

Residents brightening up

Gran Alacant The "Secret" Ravine Garden

A group of residents from phase 3,2g of Monte Y Mar have come together to make their urbanisation a better place.

Led by Jose Luis Lillo (V.President) and Jose Antonio Ferri (President) ably assisted by a group of homeowners from the area they have begun to improve the area left for them by MASA when they left after completing the development.

As is often the case on urbanisations of this type the garden areas are rarely finished by the devleoper and it is down to the community itself to provide funds for the completion, planting out and generally making the area more pleasing on the eye.

The real talking point of this endevour is the way in which the "gardening club" has brought the community together as they meet up for the Sunday morning routine of clearing the area of weeds, constructing walkways and planting out palms, Oleanders and various hardy plants.

Spanish, Scandanavian Irish and British residents have been working together, sharing the fun of the work with the added benefit of free language classes !

The above text was supplied to us at the magazine.

This is what our Gran Alacant is all about.

People taking up things themselves to improve their, and our, environment.

We think it unfortunate that this kind of thing has until now, gone un-noticed.

We are sure that there must be similar stories to tell......!!!!!!!!!!

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Welcome to the monthly computing column brought to you by Dave the Computerman (MCSE)

Dave The Computerman.

Internet fraudsters will try to exploit the global financial crisis by sending fraudulent emails purporting to offer cash-strapped consumers new mortgages, loans or money from failed banks, a Microsoft executive said on Wednesday.

Tim Cranton, an Internet safety expert at Microsoft, said there are early signs that criminals have already begun trying to cash in on the economic turmoil.

"It's especially troubling right now with the financial crisis," he told Reuters in a telephone interview. "There are more and more people who are maybe in a more desperate or vulnerable situation.

"We have seen an increase in some mortgage refinance type of scams. We are anticipating that they'll become more sophisticated.

"We have seen that with Hurricane Katrina, the (2004 Asian) tsunami and other natural disasters where the scammers immediately jump."

Fraudsters may send spam emails to consumers that ask them to pay a fee related to the collapse of a bank or financial institution, he added.

"They will allege it is associated with the refinancing -- so because of this bailout you'll get a much better deal on your mortgage and all you have to do is pay this fee."

Online criminals have long used promises of easy money to try to defraud unsuspecting victims.

Common scams include requests to help move money out of a developing country.

People are offered a cut of the fortune if they first pay a release fee.

Or they are told they have won a lottery in a foreign country and will receive a huge jackpot once they pay an administration fee.

A poll for Microsoft on Wednesday found more than a quarter of computer users thought it was likely they would fall victim to an online scam that would cost them money.

Half said the scams made them more wary of shopping online, while more than a third said it led to them being more reluctant to use the Internet at all.

However, the poll suggested that the actual chances of becoming a victim are far lower than the perceived risk.

Of 5,000 people polled across Europe, only 113 had lost money to an Internet fraudster in the last year. That equates to one in 44 of those questioned. Microsoft said it has formed a coalition with Yahoo!, Western Union and the African Development Bank to help spread the message about hoax emails.

You may well be familiar with some of the keyboard shortcuts that involve the Windows key. For example, the Windows key and F will start the Windows Find function or the Windows key and E will start Windows Explorer.

Another useful one to remember, particularly if you are working on a sensitive document or you have children who are likely to bash away at the keyboard as soon as youʼre out of the room, is Windows key and L. This combination will lock the computer until the Windows password is re-entered.

Hide-my-ip.com $29.95 I hope that you find the column useful and if you have any further questions, or need assistance please call me on 637 554579 or contact me at gacomputerman@yahoo.es

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Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large raging, violent river. Needing to get to the other side, the first man prayed: 'God, please give me the strength to cross the river.'

Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice.

ACTIVITIES AT THE GRAN ALACANT LIBRARY

On the 30th of October, the Gran Alacant and the Culture Counsellors of Santa Pola, Loreto Cascales and Feli Bailador, gave 600 euros to Icnelia. This money had been collected through a charity sale organized by the International Library of Gran Alacant, from April until July.

José Miguel Zaragoza (Icneliaʼs President) said that the 600 euros would be used to fund school material and buildings of Icneliaʼs projects in Nicaragua.

The library wants to thank all the people who made this possible.

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After witnessing that, the second man prayed: 'God, please give me strength and the tools to cross the river' Poof! .. God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs and he was able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once.

Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed: 'God, please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to cross the river' Poof! .. He was turned in to a woman. She checked the map, hiked one hundred yards up stream and walked across the bridge.

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Feral Animals 2008/9 Sponsored by Thansa Property Agency S.L. Thansa League Division 1 against

played won drawn lost /for BP Points Destinationʼs X 4 4 0 0 11/21 4 25 Bar Sioux A 4 2 1 1 13/19 2 21 Raffles 4 2 1 1 14/18 2 20 Marianʼs A 4 2 1 1 14/18 2 20 On Stage A 4 2 0 2 17/15 2 17 Shooterʼs A 4 1 1 2 18/14 1 15 Flannaganʼs 4 1 0 3 20/12 1 13 Dick Turpinʼs 4 0 0 4 21/11 0 11

Book and a few bric brac Sale

Place: Suzy Screws front sidewalk (opposite Medical Center,etc.)

Day: Thursday 4 December Time: 9,30 to 14,00 hrs.

Please this time we can´t take any more articles, want to sell what we have.

Thansa League Division 2

played won lost against for BP points Carabasi 4 3 1 7 21 3 24 Churchillʼs 4 3 1 12 16 3 19 Marianʼs B 4 3 1 12 16 3 19 Buddies 4 3 1 13 15 3 18 Shooterʼs B 4 2 2 12 16 2 18 On Stage B 4 1 3 17 11 1 12 Bar Sioux B 4 1 3 18 10 1 11 Destinationʼs B 4 0 4 22 6 0 6

CUP QUARTER FINALS DRAW TO BE PLAYED NOV 24th 08 RICHARD KEELER CUP ON STAGE A v LEGENDS CARABASI v RAFFLES FLANNAGANS v LEGENDS A DICK TURPINS v DESTINATION X FORMAT AS DIVISION ONE BUT ONLY 2 PAIRS MAKING 7 GAMES VASE TROPHY SHOOTERS B v SHOOTERS A CHURCHILLS v BAR SIOUX B DESTINATION B v BUDDIES BAR SIOUX A v ON STAGE B FORMAT AS DIVISION TWO (see rules) THE DRAW WAS MADE AT DESTINATIONS BY JUSTIN-SHOOTERS

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(Please note Legends now playing at Marianʼs)

For directions contact Shell 697 574 199 or shellmapfre@gmail.com

Above are an example of our animals looking for homes.

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The

entertainment SCENE in and around

gran alacant On Saturday the 22nd December I went to the Beer House after seeing an advertisement for a band whose style was described as Funky House.

Their name is Seaclub and they consist of four artists, keyboard player, rhythm and bass guitarists and a lead singer. Using drum loops and samples from popular house tracks, the husky female vocalist lured the crowd onto the dancefloor. Definitely value for money, Seaclub took only a five minute break during their two and a half hour set.

After the interval they kicked right back into a funky groove and the dance floor filled again and stayed full throughout the whole gig. The reason being, the different tracks mixed straight into each other without breaks just like a D.J mixing house music.

Talking of D.Js, yours truly has landed a one hour slot on Santa Pola's own radio station SOL 95.8FM. So on Saturday night between 12.00am and 1.00am check it out on the radio or listen online at www.solfmradio.com I will also be djing at THE FRANK'S BAR on Gran Alacant along with "the man in black" DJ TONY HALL and young Spanish prodigy DJ CESAR. The owner (Frank, obviously) is hosting this new night called MINGLE every Thursday heading upto

Christmas and New Year.

The music will range from funky disco to cutting edge house music and Reggaeton for the Spanish (it is their club).

Smart dress only and strictly over 18s. 10pm till late and offers on bottled drinks, this is a night not to be missed.

TASTYFOX PROMOTIONS

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For Adoption

Cooper is a 3 year old Boxer and was found in a very poor state. He is extremely emaciated and has injuries and wounds all over his body.

He has Leishmaniosis but is receiving treatment for this.

Despite his ordeal and possible abuse in the past he is adorable and loves it when someone gives him attention.

Tonic has been abandoned by his owner. He is a very affectionate, quiet cat, he is litter trained and enjoys being both inside and out. We only have a few weeks to re-home Tonic as the lady who is fostering him is returning to the Uk at the end of the month.

Honey is a 1 year old German Shepherd cross. She is a very gentle natured dog and would make a wonderful pet.

Milly is a 6 month old Catalan Sheepdog cross. She is highly energetic and very faithful. She is good with other dogs and cats, is house trained and vaccinated.

For more information please call 654027748 or 654628884 Email: k9club@lamarina.info To view more animals for adoption please go to: www.petsinspain.info

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Open throughout Christmas and New Year for emergencies.

New dentures completed within 7 days

FREE advertising on our Gran Alacant Advertiser website when you advertise in our magazine. NOW on the forums of:- Gran Alacant, La Marina, Santa Pola, Alicante, Torrevieja, Guardamar, Almoradi, Algorfa, Dolores, & Javea.

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DOGS LANGUAGE We have heard things like: “if they only could talk”, or “he understands everything I tell him” lots of times, and we usually think all they can do is to listen, but they are also able to talk and communicate, not only from dog to dog, but also to humans, in their own way, of course, which means we have to learn to understand them.

Dog is a social species, that means, it tends to live together with other individuals better than alone, so, strong and important relations are established between the members of the family, by using a sophisticated communication, which is going to work only if all the members “speak” the same “language”.

Everybody knows a happy dog is normally waving the tail, and a scared one will keep the tail between the back legs, but the spectrum of emotions a dog may transmit is much bigger. It’s very important to learn how dogs “speak” in order to understand them better: a normal dog is able to learn/understand 60-140 different words; this is much more than the typical “sit”, “come here”, “lay down”, etc. Dogs use different sound to communicate, but also facial and body expressions: we all have seen dogs with anger, happiness or astonishment expressions, and everybody knows the difference between a happy and an aggressive barking.

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Now we are going to put some examples of ways of barking and their approximate meaning: -Quick and continous barking: big excitation, maximum alert, for example when somebody rings the bell, or when we are back home.

-High tone, sudden barking: something is distressing the dog, for example when somebody hits or hurts him, or when we make him wake up too suddenly.

-Low tone barking: it indicates dominance and threatening, and they do it, for example, when they see strangers.

-Howling: low tone barking. It is used normally for communicating (location and demanding for attention).

Normally it doesn’t mean distress or pain.

-Grinning: something is distressing the dog. It is used more commonly by dominant dogs. If after grinning they bark, that means probably panic (if we keep annoying the dog, sooner or later he will try to attack us!).

TO BE CONTINUED NEXT MONTH Liliana Aldeguer Cerdán Col nº 793 English translation by Sergio Reina Esteban Col nº 747 Do you want us to write aboutsomething specific you would like to know about your pet?

E-mail us: vetexotics@msn.com

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One of the great benefits of recent years is Internet Forums.

These Forums have given us easy access to information about the wide world and the activities of its inhabitants.

The “Gran Alacant Advertiser” is excessable on all of these sites, making our advertisers and all information, available to thousands of readers, in addition to our printed copies.

WISDOM BY THE LOCALS FOR THE LOCALS

On a local level, residents of, and visitors to, the Gran Alacant area are already benefiting greatly from a newly founded local site - www.granalacantforum.es here local and national information is posted by local people for local people.

The Forum's simple aim is: "To provide a friendly internet meeting place for residents of, and visitors to, Gran Alacant, in order to enrich our lives with words that inform, educate and entertain."

Its motto is 'Rhetoric with Respect'.

As you would expect, you and your opinions will be treated with respect. No one need be hesitant in writing something for members to read. Simply show respect and receive respect. Of course you don't need to write anything, maybe you'd prefer to be a reader and use

www.gaforum.es

as you would a daily newspaper.

It is great for that too.

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Hello, I read in the latest GA Advertiser that if we had areas around us that looked dirty and where rubbish was thrown we could inform you, and perhaps you could help getting the info the right place.

I moved to Calle Canarias 1233 in August from Sweden. It is a very newbuilt area, built by MASA. Around here at one direkction it is quite ok but down towards Carabassi Beach and the small MASA-kiosk it is terrrible. Teh builders have thrown broken buildningmaterial down the ravine, and there seméms to be people throwning their rubbish at some places. BUT the worse thing, I think, is the wide open electrical "stations" where people (children ) can get killed. On the places where this "stations" have a little door it is warningsigns on the door. But there are plenty wideopen "Stations" and one just have to put your finger in, and you get electrified.

The area is from the Masabuilt new houses towards the beach in all not built area down the hill, down to the Masa-kiosk and up to the houses opposite the chinese Bazar and Franks restaurant.

I will anclose some pictures , I have more.

If you need more info or pictures, please get back to me. And by the way - I think your Magazine is great!!

Regards Name & address supplied Dear Barry and Sandra,

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I was in Gran Alacant in July and watched the train during it's first two weeks, and thought this was a great idea and an asset to the area, however I also thought that the distance down the hill between the stop at the Carabassi Bars (Costa Hispania Commercial Centre /Nature Reserve) and the next stop just before Lidl's roundabout (Masa Commercial Centre/Bowls Club) was rather excessive. On my return to the UK I submitted a comment on the GA Spirit website congratulating them on the train and asking if it would be possible to have a stop at the bus stop just past the T junction with Avda del Carabassi and Avda de Noruega - this stop is used by Baile buses on Saturday and Monday. At the moment people staying around the top of Avda Polonia, Avda del Carabassi, Creta, Chipre and Malta have either a 10 to 15 minute walk to the stop by the Carabassi bars or a 10 to 15 minute walk to the stop before the roundabout at the end of Avda de Noreuga before they can make use of the train. I left this comment on the website on August 1st and it is still waiting the moderators approval.

During my latest visit to GA neighbours of mine took the train from the market and got off at the Carabassi bars with heavy bags of fruit and vegetables', they then had over 10 minutes walk home, had there been a stop at the T junction their walk home would have been about 5 minutes. There are numerous stops up the hill but very few down the hill!

I wondered if the GA Advertiser could

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help and perhaps find out if the GA Spirit website is ever checked by the moderator.

Kindest regards, Name & address supplied

Hello Just caught children between the ages 7 to 11 graffitying the wall at the back of our urbanisation again. We will try to catch them on camera, but can you call the headmistress or Loreto to try to get it sorted Phone call to us Hello, I live on Av. Noruega, overlooking the road to the beach.

In front of my Villa there is a stretch of wasteland along by the road which

nothing has been done about since we moved in 2 years ago. mounds of earth have been dumped at certain points to stop people parking their cars but all it is at the moment is an unsightly stretch of wasteland which people use to dump their rubbish.

I was told a long time ago that this land was going to be landscaped.

But as yet nothing has been done about it. It is very unsightly. I was wondering if anybody knows what is going to happen to it.

Regards Editior - We spoke to Loreto about these emails and answers we were able to obtain are on our news pages.

Salsa Parties get your friends and family, guests and customers feeling hot, hot, hot.

We can arrange a salsa night for you at home or in your bar or restaurant.

We arrange it all - dancers music and food.

Bars and restaurants have no outlay at all, only profits for your bar and a great night. so call and book a night to remember 690 057 493

Superb house for rent or sale www.freewebs.com /myhouseforrentinspain TO ADVERTISE IN THE “GRAN ALACANT ADVERTISER� phone: 966 699 167

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Gran Alacant Security Grills

phone: 9656 98 376 (answer phone available)

www.freewebs.com /securitygrills for the best advertising prices, phone us on 966 699 167

Sharing the Christmas spirit in Guardamar.

Second-hand articles in good condition can be taken to ABACA MOBLE shop from Monday to Friday, until 24 December, for distribution to people in need. If you have any toys, clothes, non-perishable foodstuffs, such as tinned food, milk, rice, pasta, etc. as well as small articles of furniture and white goods that are no longer used, you can take them to this shop to be delivered to CÁRITAS. This charity will ensure that needy people receive them.

Please do not hesitate to help those in need, especially in these times of economic crisis. Now, more than ever, we need to give Christmas its full meaning.

You can leave your gifts in the SOLIDARITY CORNER in ABACA MOBLE, Avenida País Valenciano, 32.

Guardamar del Segura (opposite Mora Chemist).

If you have any quieries, phone 966 727 600.

The SOLIDARITY CORNER will be open from 10.00 to 14.00h. and 16.30 to 19.30.

330,000

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WORDSEARCH

WORDSEARCH “Learn your Spanish”

all English words beginning with “C”

search for the English word and its Spanish counterpart

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SUDOKU ANSWERS ON NEXT PAGE

To solve the puzzle each 3 x 3 box, each row and each column must contain all the numbers 1 to 9.

While the rules of this logic puzzle may be simple, there are numerous strategies to help you solve Sudoku.

For hints and information visit www.sudoku.org.uk DOODLE AREA

easy hard

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If you miss your copy of our

go to

“The Winery ”

where all of our extra copies are available.

You can see their advert and location in this edition of our magazine.

If you would like to collect a reserved copy from here each month, contact us at the magazine.

S U D O K U

S O L U T I O N S

This facility is FREE 74

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Timetable for the GA Train The train has been covered by transparent awnings to make the journey worthwhile in the windy weather and the chilly mornings and evenings.

The 'real train' is taking it's time in making and the new scheduled touchdown is in the new year.

/BAILEYS

Below, and on the next two pages are maps of Alicante, Santa Pola and Gran Alacant, to help find your way around and to see the location of our adverisers

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76 Baileys Bar

HOMEFINDERS/SOLEIL GRAN ALACANT SERVICES LA PALMA

NEW SCHOOL

NAN KIN CHINESE RESTAURANTS II and VIII

A

TEMPORARY SCHOOL

Darbys Chippy Vet GA Exotics Flannagans Simple Spanish Mortgages Patagonia no.3 Steak House Saffron

PLAZA MAYOR

22 CARABASI BAR COMPLEX (DOWN THE HILL) CASANOVA - SANDHILLS PHOENIX - JOES - OCEAN 11 CARABASI BAR SHOOTERS OʼDUILLS SILVER SPOON YELLOW SUBMARINE

TOPTONE ECLIPSE PATAGONIA no.6 STEAK HOUSE LOS FLAMENCOS

BAR SIOUX

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EVANGELICAL TABERNACLE

TOURIST INFORMATION

NOT JUST DESSERTS LEGENDS MAVI HAIR & BEAUTY PATAGONIA no.2 STEAK HOUSE

DESIGNER DEPOT

25 THE WINERY 25 SPICY PARADISE 27 MAXCOOP SUPERMARKET 28 SUPERVALU SUPERMKT 29 MERCADONA SUPERMARKET 29 BEER HOUSE above MERCADONA 30 MEDICAL CENTRE POLICE STATION G.A. COUNCILLOR MUNICIPAL OFFICES NEW LIBRARY 31 SPORTS CENTRE 32 THURSDAY MARKET 34 NEW NANKIN Vlll CHINESE RESTAURANT 44 POST OFFICE 46 AMOROS 49 NEW SCHOOL 51 BAR SIOUX 52 RAFFLES PIANO BAR 53 LEMAR ELECTRICAL APPLIANCES SHOP

P U T YOU R B U S I N E S S . . . .O N T H E M A P. . . .

B

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. . . . P U T YO U R B U S I N E S S . . . .O N T H E M A P Map to help you to find your way around Santa Pola.

It also includes our advertisers

CHARD

1. McDonalds 2. Market and red cross bus stop 3. Main Elche street 4. Castillo 5. Town square 6. Tourist info Police station Town hall 7. Fishing port 8. Post Office

9. Tourist info 10. Nan Kin Chinese Rest 12. Salt Lake museum 13. Civic & Social Centre 14.

15. Casa de Cultura 16. Lyneli hair

18 Santa Pola Marina.

19. Bailen 20. Aquarium 21. Suma Office 21.

22. Public refuse tip 23. site for New swimming pool 24. Indoor market 25.

27. New police station 28. Model boating lake 29. Pola Max shopping centre

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