BodyMind Living Magazine :: Healing, Redefined :: March 2021

BODYMIND ™

I S S U E N o 6 : : Redef ining H E A L I N G : : M A R C H 2021

The self help revolution... Redefined.

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WELCOME..........................................3 HEALING IS AN INSIDE JOB.........4 CARLY CLARK ZIMMER

BODYMIND INVITATION.............11 REDEFINING HEALING................12 LAURA WIECK

AMBASSADOR SPOTLIGHT MELISSA KELLEY.................................21 YOU CANNOT HEAL WHAT YOU DON’T ACKNOWLEDGE MELISSA KELLEY.................................22 IT DIDN’T HURT ANYMORE.......30 HEIDI METRO

WHY DIDN’T YOU HELP..............36 MICHELLE ROCKWOOD

WHAT’S IT LIKE TO BECOME A BODYMIND COACH..................41 HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME NOT........................42 FIDEL FORDE

HOW WE LIVE BODYMIND.........49 LAURA WIECK

AMBASSADOR DIRECTORY........50 CERTIFIED BODYMIND COACH DIRECTORY......................52 BODYMIND ASSOCIATE COACH DIRECTORY......................55 NAVIGATING.............. BACK COVER

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contents

Come on inside...

Hello amazing one!

This month we are re-defining healing.I know this is a big subject, especially right now with everything that is happening around the world — there is a deep desire for healing.

I’m curious, when I say the word healing, what shows up for you? Up until now, what has the word healing meant for you?

What if there was a different definition?

What if there was actually a different process unfolding? What if the healing so many of us are seeking is actually something totally different?

As you read through these powerful and moving stories, my hope is that you can start to look at how healing shows up in your life and how that energy might be calling you, awakening you or inviting you to go deeper, to connect and to love.

I invite you to find a quiet space, grab a cup of your favorite beverage and let’s connect and explore together.

Remember, you are the gift. You are always the gift. And we are in this together.

With love, Laura

the redefining healing issue 3

Carly Clark Zimmer :: HEALING IS AN INSIDE JOB

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lava lamp bubbles in the corner of a tapestry covered room. The air is thick with smoke as I sit nestled between the band members. That was back when smoking was still considered cool.

We had just come back from watching the Ithaca-based band, Plastic Nebraska, play their latest gig. I felt so cool hanging with talented musicians and their friends who were all working on degrees in art and literature.

But, impostor syndrome was my trusty side-kick in those days.

“You have nothing to say. Nothing interesting to add to the conversation.” I was always internally uncomfortable as I listened to each of the hip twenty-somethings tell story after story that left the room enthralled in conversation and laughter.

Then, the moment I had been dreading came, and the attention 4

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Carly Clark Zimmer :: HEALING IS AN INSIDE JOB turned to me, the silent side-kick to my extroverted and naturally interesting cousin Molly, who was dating the drummer.

“What about you, Carly? Tell us a story!” I was 16 years old and felt like I wanted to crawl out of my own skin.

I had stories, but nothing felt worthy of this crowd. After all, I grew up in a small town on a farm with three brothers and some animals.

I froze.

The stress response started to kick in... “No No No!” I thought to myself, “Not here, not now!”

My face got bright red, and I started to sweat; my throat started to close up, my thoughts swirled, and I searched for the perfect thing to say.

All I wanted was to be a part of this group and to feel like I fit in. But, I did not like having the attention on me — the silent impostor, spotted! I searched for the quickest way to get everyone’s eyes off of me and recall sharing something about saving our goat from the swimming pool, which when I think back on it, was actually a pretty good story!

It did the trick. It got a few laughs, and more importantly, it was enough to move the room’s attention on to something and someone else.

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Then, the post-freeze response mind chatter took over my brain for the rest of the night.

“You will never be cool or interesting. Everything you have to say is boring. Why can’t you be more like Molly and just relax?”

Why am I telling you this?

Healing the chronic freeze stress response pattern has been a deep and profound internal journey for me in allowing myself to be seen.

I’m sharing it for those of you who might relate, in hopes that you too will begin to heal the part of yourself that feels like you need to protect yourself from being seen.

I also want to acknowledge that others have endured the pain of physical injury or illness, traumatic loss and/or experiences that I have not, and it is not lost on me the privilege I hold in sharing an experience that was not, in fact, life threatening.

The fascinating thing is our body does not know the difference. Our physiology is still operating with internal programming of the flight, fight, freeze life-saving responses from the days when we literally had to fear for our lives on a daily basis with predators lurking in the bushes searching for their next meal.

For twelve years in my massage practice, I saw all kinds of physical manifestations of the chronic stress response. From digestive problems to back pain to medically induced trauma to what the medical world calls idiopathic 7

Carly Clark Zimmer :: HEALING IS AN INSIDE JOB illness, which is usually related to the body stuck in a chronic stress response.

Massage therapy was the gift I discovered I had that helped people feel relief from these physical and emotional discomforts, and I didn’t have to speak for most of the session! I scored the perfect career!

But a few years into my career, I realized my clients were not getting better.

Massage was just a temporary band-aid for what was really happening internally.

It led me to question what was required for real healing to take place, and it ultimately led me to BodyMind coaching. Through conscious conversation, focused attention, and action, my clients actually started to heal. ..................................................................................................................................

I found that the body heals best when there are five conditions present.

1. Attention: Awareness and attention so that you notice when the stress response is occurring so that you can consciously make a different choice.

2. Safety: Choosing to put yourself in a safe environment so that your body feels safe enough to let down your guard so the stress chemicals can turn off and the body’s natural healing process can begin.

3. Healing: Giving yourself what you need to heal. This could be something physical like rest or emotional like self-compassion.

4. Repetition: Allow a new habit to form through repetition, replacing the chronic stress response with your new healing habit.

5. Time: It takes time to rewire our nervous system. When you consciously choose the steps above, over time your new neural pathway will become the default process. ..................................................................................................................................

Essentially you are creating a new environment that allows you to rewire the default stress response in your body so that your new go-to response is not firing off stress chemicals that, when chronically showing up in your system, can cause damage and illness.

So what does this have to do with my story about being a quiet teenager hanging out with people much older and cooler than I was? (Yes, I was under-age hanging out in bars. That is a story for another time!) Because, when I share about what it feels like to have a fear of being seen and the

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When I started receiving BodyMind coaching, I was able to rewire the fear of being seen and it has been a profoundly healing internal process for that little girl who felt like she was boring, uninteresting, and would never have anything important to say let alone make a big positive impact in the world.

In hindsight, it’s only been a handful of years, and I now lead group coaching programs, actually enjoy doing live interviews, and even teach live in front of a room full of people at the BodyMind coaching retreats!

I won’t pretend that the internal flutter is completely gone when I’m about to have all eyes on me.

I still get a little sweaty and red in the face when it’s my turn to speak. However, it is no longer the paralyzing agony of stress chemicals pumping through my system, my voice shaking and making my heart feel like it is going to beat out of my chest.

The process of moving through the discomfort of being seen and valuing myself enough to believe that I have something to say and add to the conversation has been a beautiful internal healing process for me.

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fiery internal process happening on the inside, I’ve found many people can relate and feel the same way.

Each time I show up and speak up, I heal a little more. I keep going even though sometimes I still get a zing of fear through my entire system that feels kind of like an electrical shock. And I know it’s temporary and I won’t actually die!

This has cultivated a deep trust that allows me to dance without the fear of being seen instead of letting it prevent me from showing up, speaking up and doing the work I know I’m meant to do.

Even if I falter, I will be there for myself.

And that has been the most profound healing journey so far in my entire life.

I wonder what the world might look like if all of those heart-centered people who have a huge desire to make an impact in the world actually allowed themselves to be seen and heard?

Who would heal and what ripple effect would that have on society?

These are the questions I ask myself daily and my motivation for helping the quiet souls of the world move through their own healing journey so that they can finally be seen and make the impact they know they are here to make!

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Carly Clark Zimmer :: HEALING IS AN INSIDE JOB

Carly Clark Zimmer is a Certified BodyMind Coach & Consultant for heart-centered business owners. Through her own BodyMind coaching journey, Carly uncovered her knack for helping coaches simplify and streamline their business while bringing their vision and desire to make an impact to life!

Carly transitioned to coaching after spending 12 years as a healer and holistic massage therapist. She saw how stress and pain affected the quality of life of her clients and found BodyMind coaching to be THE TOOL to release stored energy and emotions.

She quickly realized it also meant she needed to learn how to be a CEO... and she had the tools from BodyMind to do it on her terms.

Now she loves to help other coaches and creatives build profitable, aligned businesses by combining smart business tactics with the body-mind connection.

Carly is also the Embodied Tech Expert for the BodyMind Coaching Certification Program, and she loves helping the members simplify their business systems so they can focus on the powerful work of serving their clients!

When she’s not wearing her coaching hat, she’s hiking the emerald green countryside and enjoying the salty sea air of Galway Ireland, where she lives with her husband Devin.

CarlyClarkZimmer.com

Carly@CarlyClarkZimmer.com First 5

@carlyclarkzimmer FB: Carly Clark Zimmer FB: The Heart Centered Coach Club IG:

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I was talking to an amazing Massage Therapist recently. She has been practicing for nearly 15 years and has a schedule that is booked solid with amazing clients. By industry standards, she is definitely ‘successful’.

And that’s when she said it: “I feel stuck. I’ve been doing the same thing, day in and day out for years with my clients. And while I love every single one of them, it’s starting to wear on me.”

“I mean, I got into this business to help people heal and I’ve taken loads of CE classes to refine my skills. But it just feels like I’ve hit this invisible ceiling in my business where my income is capped, my time is capped, and my clients keep complaining about the same stuff.”

This was the kicker…“You know the worst part — even though I know I’m amazing at what I do, I still feel like I have to justify myself and my rates to compete with new therapists and the franchises. I’ve done everything I can to be successful and I feel like I’ve ‘made it’. But inside, I KNOW there is a better way and I just can’t seem to figure it out for myself.”

Can you relate? I know I can — that is exactly where I was just a few years back. Maxed out. On the brink of burn out. And starting to wonder… how I could continue to do the work I love without working myself to the ground?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

An invitation to you...

I knew there was a better way to work, but I had to charter a new path to find it. I made a commitment to myself that I would figure out how to work smarter, not harder (which, as a Massage Therapist, was no small feat!).

I consciously structured my business to honor me so that I could bring my BEST self into my work.

The results were clear: — Within 6 months, I doubled my income and had my first 6-figure year.

— I CUT BACK the number of clients I worked on (from 25 per week to 12 per week).

— My clients took empowered action between appointments (i.e. all the advice I had been giving them for years, they finally followed through) and were getting amazing results.

— I felt a deep sense of purpose and fulfillment in my work that had been missing for years.

I believe it is time for a *NEW ERA* of bodyworkers.

My mission is to support hands-on and heart-centered practitioners to honor themselves, serve their clients and build their businesses in a healthy way. ~

Laura

Join us...

Spaces are limited... Click here to join this important conversation today!

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Laura Wieck :: REDEFINING HEALING

Every part of me wanted to turn around and just go home. But the trees were so close on both sides and it had rained the day before, I didn’t want to risk a 20-point turn that would leave me stuck in the woods with no cell service in the middle of nowhere Ohio.

I gripped the steering wheel, pressed the gas a little harder, and kept moving forward.

What the hell am I doing going to an embodiment retreat now, I thought to myself, I have way too much going on to be away for a week!

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. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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y brain was swirling with the list of all the things I had to do this week, and I didn’t realize it had been at least two miles since Siri had told me to take a turn down a one-lane, dirt road in the middle of nowhere. I looked down at my phone… no cell service. Fuck.

The irony being that the foundation of what I teach is rooted in embodiment.

About five miles later, I was back on the main road and approaching my destination, Hope Springs Institute.

Having worked at a non-profit field station similar to this, there was something familiar about the property even though this was my first time here: rustic old cabins that required more maintenance than a tiny non-profit could sustain, a community building where all the classes and events take place, and locally-made artwork sprinkled throughout the buildings and grounds to give the place a hippy, eclectic feel.

Most importantly, though, were the grounds themself — acres of old-growth forest, hiking trails, meadows bursting with wild flowers and butterflies.

My soul knew I needed this week, but my brain continued to resist.

I parked my car next to the ‘office’ cabin and looked at my phone, still no cell service.

Fuckity fuck fuck fuck, my brain swirling even more, I have client calls all week… their internet better be good. The weight of all my responsibilities felt heavy on my shoulders.

Jill went through all the paperwork and told me I’d be staying in the farmhouse in the midnight room.

Before walking out the door, I asked her about the internet situation on the property.

“Oh! It’s old-fashioned dial up internet!” ... ... ... ... ...

I’m the first person here, my brain continuing to swirl, I could just go home and nobody would ever know.

Just then, a burnt red minivan turned onto the gravel driveway.

I knew my chances of escaping were gone when Philip Shepherd, the leader of the Embodiment Retreat, his wife, and three other participants stepped out of the car.

Philip, who I had met at one of his previous workshops, came up to me and gave me a big, fully-present, fully-embodied hug hello.

His work had changed my life.

When I found his first book, New Self, New World, years earlier, it gave voice to so much of what I had been feeling and experiencing with my own clients. It was at the first workshop years earlier when I shared this little project I

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

“Welcome to Hope Springs!” said a woman in her late forties, who was wearing faded blue jeans and a t-shirt that said, “director.” “You are the first to arrive!”

was working on, called BodyMind Coaching, to which Philip responded, “That is a splendid idea!”

While I had been looking forward to this week-long retreat for months (and obviously needed it), my mind with it’s never ending to-do list had no choice but to suck it up and stay.

I grabbed my bag and headed towards my room on the second floor of the farmhouse. ... ... ... ... ...

The next two days, I could feel myself at war with myself.

We spent the mornings and afternoons gathered together in the community building. There were 12 of us total from all over the country here to learn The Embodied Present Process that Philip created. We sat in a circle on the floor, propped up by bolsters and blankets, while Philip would guide us through different embodiment exercises designed to help us surrender back into wholeness and feel the power of the present.

In that room, I could feel my mind let go of all the things and my body drop into the sacred space of the present. The change was palpable.

And then, I would walk out of the building, check my email and dive back into work. Every evening after dinner, I headed over to

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Laura Wieck :: REDEFINING HEALING the office to take my client calls.

Jill said the strongest internet connection was in the office and agreed to let me host my client calls there at night.

There was so much going on and I have to be responsible were the stories I continued to repeat in my head.

And with each embodiment exercise, something inside me started to soften. ... ... ... ... ...

On day three, I woke up feeling a little lighter. And while I still checked my email before breakfast, I didn’t feel the knee-jerk reaction to respond immediately.

That morning, Philip said something that caught my attention.

He was talking about some of the common blocks that keep us from fully living present and embodied when he mentioned something about ‘responsibility.’

I don’t know if he was intentionally speaking directly to me. But, I felt called out. I hadn’t been fully present the past few days because my brain kept telling me I had to be ‘responsible’.

Responsible for my clients.

Responsible for my business.

Responsible for making money.

Responsible for my family.

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My brain swirled down as I thought about all the things I was supposed to be responsible for.

I heard my parents raising me to be a good kid and be ‘responsible’ for myself, my friends, and the situation.

And then their faces popped into my mind: Jenny and Mark. They were my two best friends who had gone missing in a scuba diving accident over 15 years ago. I was supposed to go with them and I changed my mind.

I felt responsible for their death.

And ever since, I felt like I had to hold on tightly to everything — control it and micromanage it because I was responsible.

The awareness hit me like a ton of bricks. I so desperately wanted to let go but felt like if I did, the people I loved most would die.

I had to be responsible.

That night at dinner, I shared what showed up around the idea of ‘responsibility’ with Philip. He paused, received my words, and I watched as he waited for the response to come to him.

“Laura,” Philip said in a deep, grounded voice, “there is a difference between being ‘responsible’ and feeling like you have to hold it all together and being ‘responseable’ which is about being fully present and embodied so that you can respond from a place of wholeness.”

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Laura Wieck :: REDEFINING HEALING Philip’s words always had a way of landing so that you didn’t just understand them, you felt them.

I went back to my room and cancelled all my meetings for the rest of the week before I could think my way out of it. I had been holding ‘it’ together for so long in an effort to be ‘responsible’ that I had completely lost my sense of being ‘response-able’.

My mind was finally ready to fully BE here in this experience. ... ... ... ... ...

On our final full day there, Philip explained to the group that we would each have an opportunity to do the ‘Mirror’ exercise in front of the group before we departed the next day. The exercise looked simple enough — you get into a lunge position with one leg forward and one leg backward and your arms out to the side while reciting a memorized line of text.

The intention was to go from repeating words in your head to feeling the energy of your body and letting that move the words through you.

Philip always said, “Present nothing, experience everything.”

This exercise was all about living the experience of the text, not just presenting the words in a disconnected performance.

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The ‘Mirror’ exercise got its name because Philip would mirror the lung position and reflect back to you where you block yourself from being fully embodied.

I watched two other participants volunteer to go first. You could see how hard their brains worked to ‘present’ their text and the moment they felt the physical sensations of their bodies, their words had a depth behind them that drew me in and took me on the journey with them.

When they were done, it was as if their whole being had changed in that exercise. It was as if they found something they were looking for that had eluded them their whole life.

I immediately raised my hand to go next. It was time to rip off the bandaid.

Philip smiled and nodded his head just slightly, “Won’t you join me, Laura?” My heart was racing. Even though these people were starting to become friends, I felt like this exercise left me vulnerable.

“Shall we begin?” Philip smiled again and waited for me to get into the lunge position and lift my arms out to my side. As soon as I did, he looked straight into my eyes and nodded for me to begin.

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Laura Wieck :: REDEFINING HEALING

“Who’s to say… what’s impossible...”

Philip stopped me, “Notice how you hold your breath to present the words, feel them instead.”

What the fuck does that mean? I thought to myself as I started to feel a heat rise up from my legs, which were still in a lunge position.

“Take a nice sigh and feel the words from the base of your pelvic bowl,” Philip gently said, as if the lunge position didn’t even phase him.

He nodded, and I let out a deep sigh and felt my awareness drift down a little lower in my belly.

“Ahhhhhhh… Who’s to say…. What’s impossible… well they forgot… this… world… keeps… spinning.”

“You’re going back into presentation mode, Laura,” It was like Philip could see how, even in the annunciation of a word, I was trying to control things and make them perfect.

I was exposed

with nowhere to hide.

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I took a deep breath, stared back into Philips eyes, and started reciting the lines from one of my favorite Jack Johnson songs.

This continued for another five minutes. Back and forth. Line after line. Why the hell had I chosen such a long text?

My legs were burning and beginning to shake and that’s when Philip leaned in ever so slightly, “Are your legs on fire?” A guttural, “YES,” hissed out of my lips.

“Good,” Philip said, his facial expression matching the hell happening in my arms and legs, “FEEL it.”

Suddenly, tears welled up in my eyes. It was as if, in this moment, someone had finally given me permission to feel everything I had suppressed my entire life — the endless grief of the loss of my friends, the guilt that had torn me up inside, the pressure to be ‘responsible’ and not let anyone down at the expense of myself… all of it welled up in me and a wave of sadness took over me.

I couldn’t hide it anymore. I couldn’t hold it back. A tsunami of emotion was rising out of me and the only place it could go was out.

Philip saw the wave and in the softest whisper that only I could hear he said, “Let that energy speak for you.”

I took a deep breath and sighed out on the exhale. And somewhere, deep within, a voice came charging out of me. She was powerful. She was grounded. She was holy. She was a goddess. She was alive in wholeness. She was the part of me I had suppressed all these years.

And then she spoke...

“I want to turn the whole thing upside down… I’ll find the things they say… just… can’t… be… found... “ I felt like the world was rising up to meet my words. I felt the room lean in and continued, “I’ll share this love… with everyone… we’ll sing… and dance… to mother nature’s song... “ A final tear rolled down my face as the last line came out like a whisper, “I don’t want this feeling to go away.”

I looked up at Philip, a tear was falling down his cheek. He stood up out of his lunge, signaling that I could do the same. I had almost forgotten that I had been lunging for nearly ten minutes.

As he leaned in to give me a hug, he softly said, “There you are.” ... ... ... ... ...

That night, we all hung out by the bonfire, watching the stars. But what made this night different was that I felt like I didn’t just see the stars… I could feel the stars. I could feel the connection within all of us and through all of us.

And while I still had more questions than answers, I felt like I had found what I had been looking for for years.

Before heading to bed, I took one selfie to remember the moment and texted it to my husband. I wasn’t going home a new woman. I was going home an embodied woman.

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Laura Wieck :: REDEFINING SHATTERED HEALING Laura Wieck Master Coach and Founder of BodyMind Coaching, LMT Laura is the creator and founder of BodyMind Living© as well as the BodyMind Coaching Certification Program with Laura Wieck™ which teaches holistic practitioners how to incorporate a coaching structure with their healing work.

After years of working with clients in her own massage practice, she noticed that her clients’ mental stress impacted them physically… and their physical stress impacted them mentally. Through it, she curated the BodyMind Method©, a proprietary coaching process that gives voice to the body and allows for deeper healing in your life.

‘I wanted to share with you a story of when I felt grace....’ (CLICK THE IMAGE

Laura holds a degree in Biology from The College of Wooster, she is also a Licensed Massage Therapist, Leadership Coach, and Cognitive Coach. She lives in Ohio with her husband, young son, and two well-loved pups.

ABOVE TO PLAY THE VIDEO.)

www.LauraWieck.com 20

BODYMIND LIVING AMBASSADOR SPOTLIGHT :: MELISSA KELLEY

An interview with Laura Wieck and Melissa Kelley...

WHAT DOES BODYMIND LIVING MEAN TO YOU?

“T

he short answer to that is havinig the tools to live and be and always steer from my heart space. I’ve learned and come to understand there’s always a dance between head and heart.

BodyMind Living is inviting some grace into the messy space and remembering that my answers are always, always, always within, right?

Choosing from that ‘within’ space, showing up from that space, and even seeking from that space is BodyMind living. .I think so often we look outside of ourselves, I thiink that’s human nature, so taking a moment to pause and breathe takes us back within.”

—Melissa Kelley (14 minute video)

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Melissa Kelley :: YOU CANNOT HEAL WHAT YOU CANNOT ACKNOWLE

I

t was a rare gem of a northeastern winter day. One of those days that is so unseasonably warm you find yourself feeling a bit mixed up. An initial surge of surprise and delight bolstered with genuine concern for mother nature. It was the last weekend in February 2017, and it was an incredible 75°F outside.

The day felt like a gift...

... a reminder that winter was waning and offering us a sneak peek of the up and coming spring weather.

Our fall season had been hectic, and our garden had fallen to the wayside. My husband and I decided to take advantage of the beautiful weather by clearing the garden and preparing for spring.

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EDGE The day had been full. Sunshine.

Fresh air. The satisfaction of a day’s work in the garden is one of my absolute favorite feelings.

Our bellies were rumbling and the sun was fading into the western sky. We finished picking up our tools and headed into the garage. I kicked off my garden boots, savoring the earthy smell of the mud I had tracked in with me. I continued to the kitchen, washed my hands and began to prepare for dinner. The menu was sloppy joes and roasted potatoes. Ground meat simmering in the pan, I preheated the oven and moved on to prepping the potatoes.

What happened next is etched in my memory like a tattoo.

I was using a mandoline slicer to prepare the potatoes. Somewhere around my third potato I froze in absolute horror. It seemed like it happened — this sequence of events — all inside of the same motion. The safety guard on the mandoline had slid off, mid-slice, and before I even had a chance to register what was happening, my thumb and the potato met the blade together.

My body responded faster than my mind. I could feel the adrenaline and cortisol pumping through my system. Although it was clear to me what had just happened, another part of me knew that I was not yet ready to evaluate the extent of my injury.

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Melissa Kelley :: YOU CANNOT HEAL WHAT YOU CANNOT ACKNOWLE

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EDGE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I did not look at my thumb. I covered it, applied pressure, and calmly walked out to the garage to find my husband.

“Hey, I need your help please,” I said. “Yup, let me finish up what I’m working on. I’ll be there in a few minutes,” he responded.

I approached him directly, made eye contact, and said, “No, NOW. I need you to come inside with me NOW.” He looked up, confused, concerned, and followed me as I led him through the house to the bathroom.

“I cut my thumb. I sliced it — with the mandoline. I’m pretty sure I’m in shock, and I need you to look at it. See how bad it is.”

His eyes were huge. “Ok,” he said.

I offered him my thumb while I looked away. “Hmm, yeah,” he said, while turning to exit the bathroom. “Where are you going??” I asked.

“I’m going to look in the bowl of potatoes, to see how much of your flesh is in the bowl.”

FUCK. I felt panic washing over my interior.

By now I had perched myself on the side of the bathtub. My legs were wobbly and my heart felt like it was about to beat out of my chest. My thumb felt hot. It was pulsing with an angry throb. It had its own heart beat.

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Melissa Kelley :: YOU CANNOT HEAL WHAT YOU CANNOT ACKNOWLE

I spent our drive to the hospital allowing it to all sink in. How in the hell did we get here? We had just had THE MOST AMAZING DAY. The kind of day that starts out pretty ordinary, and out of nowhere graces you with something magical, like 75°, sunshine and gardening in February. Things were so good. Until they weren’t.

I also knew

that, no matter

what, I’d be ok.

I realized that it wasn’t so much about the outcome with my thumb, or even the incident itself.

The truth in that moment was that I felt scared to fucking death about what this would mean for my work. My schedule, booked out for the next 8 weeks kept flashing through my mind. I felt spinny, light headed and nauseous. It wasn’t the pain. It was the fear.

Fourteen years as a massage therapist and nothing major had ever befallen my hands or my health.

I prided myself on the careful awareness I brought to all tasks, always mindful of caring for my hands. I had sustained occasional annoying cuts, a few small burns from our wood stove, and nothing else. Ever. Until that day. And that day was a doozie.

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My hubby returned to properly wrap my injury, and we set out for the ER.

The physician that treated me was cool as a cucumber. I listened as she described the wound — because I still wasn’t ready to look at it.

“Well, it’s a clean slice, that’s for sure. No stitches, there’s nothing to stitch. You’ve completely sliced off the tip of your thumb (including the nail) on the lateral side. It will heal. But it’s going to take a while. Several months. There’s no way to know if it will fully regain its shape. If you’re lucky the nerve damage will be minimal. Keep it clean and covered.”

She re-wrapped it and sent us on our way. Ugh. Upon returning home I collapsed on my bed in an exhausted heap and cried myself to sleep.

I’m not gonna lie. I spent the next few weeks suspended in a state of paralyzed wallowing. I contacted my clients, and cleared my schedule for the next 14 days.

I knew that wouldn’t be enough time, but it was a place to start. It allowed me the space to consider my options.

In the meantime, I still hadn’t looked at my wound. My husband helped me keep it clean and wrapped, applying new dressing each day. Every time he unwrapped it, I would look away. I had become familiar with it through the bandaging. I palpated it, learning the tender parts, getting a sense of the shape. I was very aware that

EDGE

Somewhere around day ten, my husband called me out.

“It’s time for you to accept this.

You need to look at your thumb.”

I knew he was right. I knew it was time. “Okay,” I said, as I looked away again.

It took me a few more days to steel myself for the big reveal.

It really wasn’t dramatic. It was mostly how I had imagined it would look. It was my thumb, minus the tip on the left side, at a super clean angle.

What I noticed next hooked my attention. Although the wound was clean, it was clear to me that it had not yet started to heal. My husband’s words looped through my head as I recalled what had become a routine conversation.

“How does it look?” I would ask.

“The same as it did yesterday and the day before. No better, no worse,” he would reply.

From that day forward, I took over the full care of my injury. It didn’t take long to notice a difference.

Healing was happening. Each day there was measurable progress.

It seemed to me that during the time I was avoiding the acceptance of my injury, through my stage of wallowing in indecision, the healing process was also held in a suspended state.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

beneath the wrappings my injury was raw, exposed and incredibly vulnerable.

I have never felt that way about an injury, ever, before or since. I think a lot of it was about allowing the space for my mind to process and catch up. I needed time to come to terms with the bigger implications I was facing. While the emergency had been managed, it took days to flush the surge of stress hormones from my tissues. It took even longer to accept that it was time to change the way I worked with my clients. And, to land in one of the biggest lessons of my healing journey.

You cannot heal what you don’t acknowledge.

You cannot change what you are unwilling to see.

The injury to my thumb was a physical metaphor for an inner process that had been unfolding for many months. It had been nearly a year since I had enrolled in the BodyMind Coaching program. I had completed my training and had been baby stepping towards shifting the way I worked with clients. Moving away from hands-on work into full time coaching was my goal, and I had been scared to go all in. Scared that I would lose my clients, that they wouldn’t value coaching the same way they valued massage. I was scared that I would fail, that I would ruin the business I had been developing for fourteen years.

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Melissa Kelley :: YOU CANNOT HEAL WHAT YOU CANNOT ACKNOWLE

The truth is, the closer we get to what we want, the higher the likelihood we will look for a way to high-tail it back towards something familiar. Even if what is familiar isn’t working. Even if we’re kind of miserable. Because what’s familiar feels safe.

To balance this out, sometimes life shows up and jolts us awake with a disruption. If we are paying attention, we recognize that it’s a call to action. An invitation to pivot. I feel like our industry portrays the pivot as a seamless process. I don’t agree. Sometimes it’s hard and messy. Sometimes you feel fierce and sometimes you feel defeated. It’s okay. This is where the healing is happening.

A series of moments, choices and subtle shifts nudging us along and supporting us in learning to face the places we fear the most.

In choosing the perspective to view my injury as an opportunity, I reached out to all of my clients.

I offered them the option to shift to a coaching framework. Many of them accepted. Some did not. And that felt okay too. I referred them on to other trusted practitioners in my area so that they could receive the work that felt most aligned for them.

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I believe the injury to my thumb was a gift. It was an opportunity in disguise. It was a catalyst, accelerating a process that had already been put into motion. It forced me to call bullshit on myself, step out of my funk and cross the threshold of choosing what I really wanted.

My thumb healed beautifully. I was able to be patient and present to my healing process, which took several months. The skin and tissue grew back and I am happy to share that I do not have a flat thumb. It’s mostly round and thumb shaped with minimal nerve damage. I feel a bit of an electrical zing when I apply pressure to it, but I’ve come to appreciate the sensation. It’s a powerful reminder of my own healing.

Several weeks ago I was on my way home from running some errands. I found myself waiting at a stop sign directly across the street from my old office. Traffic was heavy. I sat there for awhile, and then I was struck by the vantage point. I felt my focus shift from the humdrum drive home to the full circle moment in front of me. I was invited to fully embody the awareness of where I am now in contrast to the memory of where I used to be.

For so many years of my massage practice, managing a physical location had felt heavy. I remembered that once upon a time, I fought against myself and my inner wisdom every day. All of me desperately longed to be free from the overhead and responsibility of having an office. I endured because it was familiar. I endured because I didn’t want to let people down. I endured because my logical brain couldn’t yet see the bigger vision.

That last Saturday of February 2017 was magical. It was an incredible 75° and we worked in

EDGE

Fast forward to February 2021.

Waiting for my turn at the stop sign across the street from my old office, I let my heart feel all the feels. I let the floodgates open and allowed the tears of gratitude to flow freely. I understood how every piece of my own healing journey has always been about learning to trust myself, learning to lean into the scary places and trust that I will emerge on the other side.

You cannot heal what you don’t acknowledge.

You cannot change what you are unwilling to see.

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the garden all day. It was also the day the universe tapped me on the shoulder and said, “It’s time,” and challenged me to step up.

To step into the next chapter of my healing and begin trusting my inner knowing. The choices I put into motion as a result of my injury that day are the same choices that supported me in ultimately releasing my physical space the following year and transitioning to 100% remote coaching.

Melissa Kelley is the creator and founder of Sacred She™. She also serves as the Associate Coach Coordinator for the BodyMind Coaching Community.

Melissa has been devoted to the study of the healing arts and exploring the nuances of personal growth & transformation through the BodyMind Connection for over 20 years. She believes that the greatest path to fulfillment comes from within, and that when you discover who you really are and what you came here to do, everything changes.

She is dedicated to helping conscious, creative women bring their vision to life. Melissa’s coaching style is rooted in deep inner work, integrative practices and feminine wisdom traditions.

SacredShe.life 29

Heidi Metro :: IT DIDN’T HURT ANY MORE

We all have these people in our lives. The ones who we were close to. The one who we pinned our friendship hopes on. The ones who we were sure “got us” and were in it for the long haul. The friend we’d waited for who just was so in sync with us. The one who understood us on a cellular level and just made life so fun and interesting.

Until they don’t.

And won’t anymore.

Until it’s done.

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Y

esterday I was at Trader Joe’s and I saw someone I “used to know.”

So, I was in the produce section getting apples when I spotted this man that looked familiar.

Of course we were masked and bundled for snowy weather, so it’s always kind of a “how do I know that guy?” kind of situation. There was no indication of recognition on his part, so I just kept picking apples.

And then I was cruising the frozen food aisle that has all the ridiculous sweets on the shelf above the rows of frozen goodness (I’m looking at you dark chocolate covered marshmallows), and then I saw her. The “how do I know that guy’s” wife.

“The one I used to know.” Insert movie slow-motion effect.

If she recognized me, I’ll never know. Our eyes didn’t meet. But I recognized her. And we passed one another. And that was it.

I’d waited for this very moment for five plus years. And then, it was over. Seemingly just for me. I’d pondered when it would happen.

Where it would happen. But that stopped several years ago. I’d

I pushed my cart to the check-out, had an awesome conversation with the gal who rang me up, and went out to my car. That was it.

I kept waiting for THAT feeling.

The one that feels like someone punched you in the heart, and just when relief washes through, you get punched again. I kept waiting for the grief. The flow of tears.

The questions of “What did I do wrong?” and “Why can’t we figure this out?”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

honestly stopped pondering. I had done my work. Life had moved on.

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Heidi Metro :: IT DIDN’T HURT ANY MORE

But it never came. I felt… neutral.

It didn’t hurt anymore. Huh. Well… there you go.

Even as I write this, I’m searching my physiology for remnants of pain. And there isn’t any. There is some nostalgia. But no pain.

Nothing.

When our friendship began, it was the one I had waited for as an adult. It was the one that I was so excited about because we’d both lived a life and been through tough times. We were both married and had kiddos and were in business. We even brought a new friend into the mix, and it was so wonderful. For all of us. A refuge. A safe space.

The three musketeers taking on the world and collaborating in business.

Until it wasn’t. Until the honeymoon was over. Until the misunderstandings and human shortcomings and disappointments created a rift that just couldn’t be repaired. Until the hurt was too much. Until heartbreak happened.

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I kept waiting for the instant replay on the jumbotron of my consciousness to show me the images of failed communication, the codependency, the lack of boundaries, the desperation of approval seeking, the loss of friendship and subsequent self-flagellation that comes from a “failure.”

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And communication ceased. And lines were drawn. And sides were taken. And leases were nixed.

This was my first friend divorce as an adult. And it was brutal.

And it was me on the other side of the bridge from them.

It crossed so many planes of my existence. My spirituality.

My parenthood. My business.

My family. And the pain was so visceral. So constant.

This “divorce” happened soon after the birth of my third child.

After the collapse of the housing market. The loss of my savings.

My home. My dignity. My marriage… almost. It seemed that all of my structures needed to crumble.

And that is so painful.

Physically.

Emotionally.

Financially.

Spiritually.

This particular loss was like an insult to injury because they had been there through the thick of the challenges. They KNEW me, and they knew my vulnerabilities. My weaknesses. My fears. I was exposed.

This was a time in my life where boundaries were coming up over and over again. Again. Damn.

It became imperative for me to learn where I was over-functioning out of fear and lack. It was a time where I had to finally 15 33

Heidi Metro :: IT DIDN’T HURT ANY MORE

That pain was all mine. That brokenness was not visible. The world did not stop for my pain. The universe kept expanding whether I was okay or not.

It was THE MOST deliberate time of my life. I looked at ALL of my structures and began to understand what was most essential.

The primary

focus had to be my health.

My physical, emotional, spiritual, familial, and financial health. And thus, healing began.

Sometimes, oftentimes, healing (as a verb, an action) means the acceptance that some things are not going to go the way you want. Thus, healing, by nature, begins with hurt. Acknowledging the hurt, naming it, giving voice to what you’re feeling, is so important.

There is a seductive tone to the word healing that can be so misleading like a siren in the sea. It sounds good. It sounds so natural.

Like a given. And yet… healing can be excruciating.

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answer the question, “Who do you think you are?” And answer it from a place of compassion and the humility that comes from true surrender to the Divine.

The sooner we acknowledge the inherent paradox that healing actually hurts, the sooner we can allow the surrender necessary to actually experience the WHOLENESS that is healing.

When I was at the bottom and looking up and feeling so broken, if you were to have told me that I was still whole, I would have wanted to kick your ass. NOTHING about that place felt whole. I was fractured and hurting and lonely.

Even still, I began the work of healing and embodying this new self with the knowing that there was also no cure for our friendship. It was indeed dead. Along with many structures that had been in place. It was an overhaul. A new beginning.

My healing journey, whether it’s physical or otherwise, pretty much follows that predictable path.

What it always boils down to is surrender. When we are brave enough to be with what is and surrender to the not knowing, life can come forward in new ways. We are designed, as nature, to heal. To begin again.

Pain or injury due to loss, whether of a relationship, a person, a business, an idea, is part of our experience. And so is healing. The broken pieces are a part of the whole experience. Being able to navigate the knowing that some things will never go back together is part of the hybrid (human/divine) experience. That awareness in and of itself will create spaciousness for healing, and the essence of healing is a recognition of wholeness.

Heidi’s daughter asks, ‘Mama, is it going to hurt?’

(CLICK THE IMAGE ABOVE TO PLAY THE VIDEO.)

Heidi Metro is a total hybrid: Obsessed with practical systems and totally woo. You’ll find her creating in her coaching studio, saging her crystals, and designing Systems with Soul for her incredible clients.

After 12 years in a successful massage practice, Heidi now combines her degrees in philosophy and massage therapy, along with her BodyMind Coaching training to coach full time within her company, The New Next Level — BodyMind Coaching. The New Next Level is about empowering womxn to Lead From Within by aligning their purpose, values, and boundaries. When women lead, we change the world.

When Heidi isn’t collaborating with clients, you’ll find her with her hubby, three kiddos, and two pooches in their sweet Midwestern town. She loves to hike, build bonfires, and get lost in books.

HeidiMetro.com Heidi@thenewnextlevel.com IG: @heidimetro FB: Heidi Metro FB: The New Next Level

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Michelle Rockwood :: WHY DIDN’T YOU HELP?

“U

h... mom?” my four-yearold son’s voice quivered.

I glanced up to see blood quickly running down his forehead, seeping through his blonde hair. I tried to move, but my legs were like lead. I couldn’t understand what was happening; my brain couldn’t react. I stood frozen.

“I’m bleeding!” he said.

Finally, I grabbed a towel, put it on his head, and laid him down, but the bleeding wouldn’t stop.

Ambulance? Drive to the ER? There were two additional kids at home, one a newborn. “Think, Michelle, think.” I dialed 911, had my older son run to the neighbors, and then somehow — within what seemed like seconds — my mom arrived, and my son and I drove off. I can still picture him in the rearview mirror, so unaware of the severity of his cut, his little body only partly strapped into his car seat as he held a towel to his head.

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Michelle Rockwood :: WHY DIDN’T YOU HELP?

It’s weird how our bodies work — magnificent, really. To be able to think clearly and rationally in the moment of danger — bandaging the wound, driving the car, and making split-second decisions.

That’s how we hope we will react, and very often do... and in reality, how we respond to extreme suffering, pain and trauma varies.

My son had somehow fallen over and pinched his head under the leg of the heavy chair he was sitting on, slicing his head in the process. Just before he fell, he asked me to help him. He had called out to me and said, “Mom, help me. I’m not joking.” I didn’t help him. I was annoyed, and I told him to do it himself, to sit up straight and stop goofing around in his chair.

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I pulled into the hospital parking lot and the staff grabbed my son from me and went to work on him. As soon as he was out of sight, it hit me. My adrenaline started to come down, and the room started to spin. The nurse gave me a cookie and some juice, as I struggled not to become patient number two. I pulled the trash can close, just in case.

Why? Why didn’t I get up off the floor and help him? Why did I choose to ignore his pleas for attention and allow him to fall? If I had just made a slightly different decision, we wouldn’t be in the ER, examining the scar on his forehead that he may have for life.

Why, why, why?

I think we all do this. Try desperately to turn back time so we can make a different choice. I beat myself up for nearly one full year.

I consulted plastic surgeons about my son’s scar, and I insisted he wear a bandage for one full year to keep it out of the sun.

It’s in every picture that year, his little bandaged forehead. And then there’s me, staring at the photos wanting to throw up from guilt and shame each time I see one of those pictures, his perfect face now scarred.

As I write this story, I’m getting emotional and soaking my sleeve in tears. I had done everything right, and still, it happened. I had a baby gate up, dozens of

In fact, this fight with reality causes us incredible suffering.

So, even though I cry to myself as I’m writing this, I truly wouldn’t change that horrible thing that happened because that would change the boy he is and the man he will become. Don’t misunderstand, this is not a story about accepting horrible things that happen to you.

For me, with both physical and emotional wounds there is a freedom in acknowledging that

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smoke alarms, security system, medicine stored out of reach. In fact, I had insisted my son drink a kale smoothie that day, which is why he was in the chair in the first place. Horrible things just simply happen and no amount of wishing the outcome differently changes it.

the bruise will always be there.

It will never leave. It’s now a part of us, a part of our path. And if, just maybe, one day we can look at it, touch it gently and not feel a shooting pain... well, then we’ve started to heal. A never-ending and always evolving process of pain, anger, acceptance, and on and on again.

Through our work as BodyMind Coaches and in this community, I’ve learned to heal in ways I never knew possible. I’ve redefined what it means to be supported and be a part of others’ healing, and I’ve found deep comfort in the process, however painful.

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Michelle Rockwood :: WHY DIDN’T YOU HELP?

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Michelle Rockwood BodyMind Enrollment Coach Michelle Rockwood is a fierce and loving Heart-Centered Sales expert for BodyMind Coaching’s 9-month Certification program. She teaches clients the most joyful way to master the sales conversation so they can sell their coaching programs with love, ease and grace. Michelle also runs a program called Sisterhood Rising, it’s designed for badass women ready to reclaim their brilliance. She loves her work and cares deeply for her clients, her family and the world.

Michelle is a former yoga teacher with a background in non-profit development and sales. She has lived and worked all over the world and now resides in Denver, Colorado, and (of course) loves to ski. When Michelle isn’t working, she’s chasing her three wild boys or playing with her dog Tigo and her new puppy Ruby. You can connect with Michelle here: TwoArrowCoaching.com Michelle@TwoArrowCoaching.com

What is it like to become a BodyMind Coach?

As a master coach and Licensed Massage Therapist with over 12 years experience, I know there’s a better way to work.

How? Because I transformed my heart-centered, hands-on business myself.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

It’s my mission to give heart-centered therapists like you the tools to serve your clients and help them achieve lasting results, without you burning yourself out in the process.

Not so many years ago, I was where you might be right now: overworked, exhausted and on the brink of burnout.

When clients came in and lay on my table, I found many opened up and shared their stories. They’d talk about their stresses and frustrations, as well as their hopes and desires.

Even when they weren’t actually talking, their bodies would also share stories of what they were ready to release and the dreams they were ready to fulfill. And when their hour was up, I’d spent around 30–45 minutes talking

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

At the time I was working as a successful massage therapist. I had great retention rates, clients regularly referred their friends, and consequently, I was always booked solid.

through the self-care steps they should take themselves at home before our next session.

IS THIS YOU? I knew my clients wouldn’t get lasting results unless I challenged them to address the habits, behavioral patterns, and limiting beliefs that created their stress in the first place and kept them coming back, session after session.

The realization that massage could only really treat the symptoms of my clients’ stress and not the cause, led me to incorporate coaching conversations into my sessions.

Once my clients realized the connection between their emotional wellbeing and their physical pain, everything changed. Instead of showing up for sessions having ignored all the aftercare advice I gave them the previous week, they actually began to implement it — willingly!

I’ve since coached hundreds of clients using BodyMind Coaching, and now I want to show you how you can use this powerful coaching conversation strategy to transform your business and accelerate your clients’ results, too.

— Laura Wieck

Interested in becoming a BodyMind Coach? Click here for more information.

41

Fidel Melissa Forde Kelley :: HE :: SELF-CARE LOVES ME, IS HEAN LOVES INSIDE MEJOB NOT

M

y son healed me. I decided that the year my wife was stationed overseas would be the year “I would get to dad,” and redefine what it means to father... not only for my kids, but for me.

But I was several months in and I was having a terrible, horrible, very bad day. The thoughts were overwhelming; I was feeling defeated and depleted. I felt like life was on hold. You know, the type of day when you are behind on everything — goals, purpose, business, and the laundry — and you’re out of patience.

I was having a terrible, horrible, very bad day. It’s the day when you are aware you are being a jerk and you just don’t care anymore.

On that day, I didn’t feel like a good father.

I had been doing great and was really proud of the way I had been showing up, but this day in particular was not the same — it was harder for some reason. I went to

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Fidel Forde :: HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME NOT

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“If one more kid asks me for something or to do something…

I don’t even know.” Then, there was the knock on the door. I said, “what do you want?” in a tone that made it clear I didn’t want to be interrupted, and what you have to say is a disruption. Shame on me.

My normal response is “yes, come on in,” (a very intentional response). So at the door was Remington, my 5 year old. “Hi Papa, I just wanted to say I love you.” He gave me a hug and then walked out the room.

WHAT! My heart caved even as he closed the door behind him.

I thought to myself that he loves me even on my worst day. Even after I snapped at him earlier and had an adult temper tantrum.

As I sat there, I felt awe and surprise about what had just happened, and then I heard my heart whisper.

He loves me

just because

I’m his dad.

It doesn’t matter if or how often I mess up, he loves me anyhow, just because I’m his dad. It’s impossible for him not to love me. It’s impossible for a son to not love

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my home office to do some work, a.k.a. I was retreating.

his father. A son loves his father just because he is his father.

It hit me that I’ve been judging, withholding, and limiting my love from my own father. The hidden anger I had toward my father for not being around the way I wanted and needed was really love. I was the only one angry because I love him.

It’s impossible for Remington not to to love me, and it’s impossible for me not to love him. Children spell love T.I.M.E., and I associated the time I didn’t have with my father as not being wanted or loved.

After picking myself up off the floor and wiping the tears from my face, I felt my body and heart come into alignment. Decision time. In that moment I chose to believe that my father loves me — and I love my father — simply because he’s my dad, no explanation needed. In that moment I felt my heart expand, and I felt a deeper feeling of wholeness.

I lived my life stuck in the game of he loves me, he loves me not for too long. My son loves me. It’s my desire that one day my father will know in his heart the same. His son loves him.

Although I’ve never heard the words “I love you” from my father, I know he loves me. A few years ago I visited my father and he handed me a photo album. I had forgotten all about it. In the album were all the memories he and I had shared. Many of which 45

Fidel Forde :: HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME NOT

I didn’t remember until I looked through the album. He may not have always been there, and just because I have never heard the words I love you, I know he does. I know not with my head, or by measures of logic, but with my heart.

Thank you Remington for loving me at my worst, so that I can become my best. I love you, son!

SO WHY CAN’T I HEAL? What if the thing that broke you will be the same thing that heals you?

If you’ve been asking yourself “why can’t I heal already,” maybe you are ready to move on from all the hurt... then buckle up baby, because you and I are about to have a conversation. Actually, you are about to have a deeper conversation with yourself because that’s the conversation that matters.

This is where you take a deep breath as the next words you read penetrate and move your soul.

What if you never heal?

What if healing never comes, then what?

“Fidel, why would you say that? The thought of that... I’d be so crushed.”

Hang in there friend, I’m going somewhere with this.

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What if there is nothing to heal from?

What if you are already healed, but you just don’t know it?

What if the thought that you need to heal or the thought that you are broken is the reason you can’t?

What if healing is the result of doing the things or living the way you would if you were healed?

You can’t outrun or hide from your pain just like you can’t run and hide from your healing. They are intertwined.

What if your pain is what gives your purpose power, and what if living out that purpose starts your healing?

Don’t wait for your healing to start; start because your healing is waiting on you.

Every time you feel pain, don’t avoid it, feel it and accept it, because it has something to say. Then ask your pain, “Where would you like to start?”

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Fidel Forde :: HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME NOT

Fidel Forde is a BodyMind & Empowerment Coach, Motivational Speaker, Business Mentor, Retreat Leader, Massage Therapist, and International Yoga Instructor — aka a renaissance man and entrepreneur. He is a proud military spouse of a Navy psychologist and a father of three daughters and one son.

He is on a mission to ignite the spark in others — empowering them to live the life they are capable of living and create more time, more impact, more joy, more energy and sustainable success without burnout.

He is passionate about this work because in 2011 his world was turned upside down. He lost his corporate executive position, struggled to adapt to the multiple relocations and the lifestyle of a military family, and realized that he had no idea how to manage his stress. That is what drove him to the path of becoming a holistic practitioner. He uncovered the power of thebody-mind connection which allowed him to embody his true purpose and gifts of healing, encouraging and empowering others.

Today Fidel teaches heart-centered and impact-driven men, women, entrepreneurs and leaders how to come back home to their bodies, create balance, movement, and hustle with grace. His location-independent business model allows him to travel and work with clients around the world, in person and virtually. Fidel creates one of a kind embodiment retreats for groups and individuals to kick stress to the curb and tap into their personal power.

What Fidel is most proud about is redefining what it means to dad, to be present, and to let it be messy.

To connect with Fidel and fuel your spark check him out at: FidelForde.com IG: @fidelforde 48

BODYMIND LIVING AMBASSADOR SPOTLIGHT :: LAURA WIECK

Why is it BodyMind?

“O

ne of the questions I get all the time when people come into my work is ‘

why is it BodyMind?’ Why not MindBody? What does the body come first,

and why is it one word?

I’d like for you to have a clear idea of what this means.

First and foremost let’s talk about physiologically, because resting at the base of your pelvic bowl, is a brain. You actually have a brain resting in your body. That brain is called the enteric nervous system, and when it was first discovered they called it the second brain because it has so many similarities to the brain in the head.

It produces 95% of your serotonin, 50% of your dopamine, and more importantly the information that your body is collecting which is a million times more than your logical thinking brain is being collected and sent up to the head via the vagus nerve. 80–90% of the information traveling along the vagus nerve is going from your body to your brain!”

—Laura Wieck

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BODYMIND LIVING AMBASSADORS MARCH 2021

FidelForde.com Fidel@FidelForde.com IG: @fidelforde

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MELISSA KELLEY BodyMind Coach Massage Therapist BodyMind Coaching Associate Coach Coordinator Melissa is the creator and founder of Sacred She™. She also serves as the Associate Coach Coordinator for the BodyMind Coaching Community.

Melissa has been devoted to the study of the healing arts and exploring the nuances of personal growth and transformation through the BodyMind Connection for over 20 years. She believes that the greatest path to fulfillment comes from within, and that when you discover who you really are and what you came here to do, everything changes. She is dedicated to helping conscious, creative women bring their vision to life. Melissa’s coaching style is rooted in deep inner work, integrative practices and feminine wisdom traditions.

Sacredshe.life

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Fidel is a renaissance man and entrepreneur. He is a proud military spouse to a Navy psychologist and a father of four. He is on a mission to ignite the spark in others — empowering them to live the life they are capable of living and create more time, more impact, more joy, more energy and sustainable success without burnout.

Today Fidel teaches heart-centered and impact-driven men, women, entrepreneurs and leaders how to come back home to their bodies, create balance, movement, hustle with grace and tap in to their personal power.

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FIDEL FORDE BodyMind Coach Motivational Speaker Massage Therapist Yoga Instructor Retreat Leader

HEIDI METRO BodyMind Coach Massage Therapist Heidi Metro is a total hybrid: Obsessed with practical systems and totally woo. You’ll find her creating in her coaching studio, saging her crystals, and designing Systems with Soul for her incredible clients.

After 12 years in a successful massage practice, Heidi now combines her degrees in philosophy and massage therapy, along with her BodyMind Coaching training to coach full time within her company, The New Next Level — BodyMind Coaching. The New Next Level is about empowering womxn to Lead From Within by aligning their purpose, values, and boundaries. When women lead, we change the world. www.heidimetro.com Heidi@TheNewNextLevel.com IG: @heidimetro FB: Heidi Metro FB: The New Next Level TheNewNextLevel.com

Michelle Rockwood is a fierce and loving Heart-Centered Sales expert for BodyMind Coaching’s 9-month Certification program.

She teaches clients the most joyful way to master the sales conversation so they can sell their coaching programs with love, ease and grace. Michelle also runs a program called Sisterhood Rising, it’s designed for badass women ready to reclaim their brilliance.

She loves her work and cares deeply for her clients, her family and the world.

Michelle is a former yoga teacher with a background in non-profit development and sales. She has lived and worked all over the world and now resides in Denver, Colorado, and (of course) loves to ski. When Michelle isn’t working, she’s chasing her three wild boys or playing with her dog Tigo and her new puppy Ruby.

TwoArrowCoaching.com Michelle@TwoArrowCoaching.com

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MICHELLE ROCKWOOD BodyMind Enrollment Coach

CARLY CLARK ZIMMER BodyMind Coach BodyMind Embodied Tech Expert

LAURA WIECK Certified Master Coach & Mentor Licensed Massage Therapist

Through her own BodyMind coaching journey, Carly uncovered her knack for helping coaches simplify and streamline their business while bringing their vision and desire to make an impact to life!

Laura is the creator and founder of BodyMind Living© as well as the BodyMind Coaching Certification Program with Laura Wieck™ which teaches holistic practitioners how to incorporate a coaching structure with their healing work.

She helps other coaches and creatives build profitable, aligned businesses by combining smart business tactics with the bodymind connection.

After years of working with clients in her own massage practice, she noticed that her clients’ mental stress impacted them physically… and their physical stress impacted them mentally. Through it, she curated the BodyMind Method©, a proprietary coaching process that gives voice to the body and allows for deeper healing in your life.

When she’s not wearing her coaching hat, she’s hiking the emerald green countryside and enjoying the salty sea air of Galway Ireland, where she lives with her husband Devin.

CarlyClarkZimmer.com Carly@CarlyClarkZimmer.com IG: @carlyclarkzimmer FB: Carly Clark Zimmer BodyMind Coaching and Consulting

Laura holds a degree in Biology from The College of Wooster, she is also a Licensed Massage Therapist, Leadership Coach, and Cognitive Coach. She lives in Ohio with her husband, son, and two well-loved pups.

LauraWieck.com TheNewBodyMind.com FB: LauraWieck IG: @LauraWieck

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CERTIFIED BODYMIND COACHES MARCH 2021

tbodsford@gmail.com IG: @tanyabodsford

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If you’re amazing at taking care of everyone else — but are starting to feel over-committed and like something’s just not quite right in your life — you should meet Karyn!

Karyn Claflin is a Master BodyMind Coach with a background in massage, meditation, and yoga who helps folks who have big dreams but the stressful demands of daily life keep getting in the way.

If that sounds like you, Karyn can help you focus on the right things, so you can free up space and energy to do the work you know you’re here to do!

KarynClaflin.com IG: balancechampaign

Kim Fish, LMT Kim Fish is a seasoned massage therapist and bodywork coach. For 15 years she has helped hundreds of people transform their relationship with their body through addressing and managing pain and stress. She inspires others to take control of their health through group and private self care sessions. She is a current student of yoga teacher training through and has shifted her business to support clients in the space between massage appointments. She teaches safe, simple and effective self care bodywork sequences, breath work, mindful movements and meditation so that her clients can feel supported, embody confidence and take inspired action that aligns with how they want to feel and with the life they are wanting to create.

KimFishBodyWorkCoach.com IG:Kim_Fish_BodyworkCoach divinealignmentcoach@ gmail.com 603.969.4815

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Tanya works with soul-searching women that have a stack of self-help books by their bed but feel like they’re living their lives on autopilot. Her clients know they’re here for a greater purpose… but feel like everyone else’s priorities seem to always get in the way of making that dream happen.

Karyn Claflin BodyMind Coach

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If you’ve ever felt like you’re navigating life completely alone and you wish you had a wise, trusted support system to help guide you, advise you, and show you the easiest way forward, Tanya is here to show you how to find that person… within YOURSELF!

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Tanya Bodsford BodyMind Coach

Laurel Goulden-James Osteophathic MT, Massage Therapist, Movement Facilitator As a mom, grandma, and BodyMind Coach, it is her mission to help those she encounters to realize and embrace their power from within so that they can bridge the gap from where they are to where they want to be.

After recovering from a personal injury, Laurel has a special interest in working with those who are at “the next chapter” and moving forward into how life might be and what might be possible. She has a zest for life, laughter, and a strong faith that as humans we are all blessed with our own special gifts.

IG: goldentouchhlthwealth

FaceBook @Golden Touch Health & Wealth LI: @ Laurel Goulden-James goldentouchhealthwealth@ gmail.com Make an appointment

CERTIFIED BODYMIND COACHES MARCH 2021

She loves to support strong, independent womxn in becoming better listeners to their internal wisdom to foster a pattern of abundance in their careers and life, leading to uncomplicated, de-stressed, and empowered living.

ShanaHartman.com IG: shana_supports_you

I help frustrated, confused parents awaken to your power to ditch outside rules & traditions that don’t work for you and parent from your heart.

If you crave strong, loving family relationships, I can help you trust yourself and forge a path that empowers you & your kids through communication and connection.

BodyMind Coaching gave me the permission to be me, to love me, to own my gifts, and truly see the beauty and value I bring to myself and everyone else.

LorineHoffer.com Virtual appointments Arlington, VA

Love, Bobbi Jo BodyMind Coach Author & Speaker Foreshadowed by a poem she wrote in her childhood entitled “Lost Dreams,” Bobbie Jo eventually found herself at a crossroads, looking within to once again find who she really was.

BodyMind Coaching guided her back to herself. Now Bobbie Jo uses her gift of writing to share inspirational and transformational books as well as guided meditations. Through BodyMind Coaching, she helps others connect with their body wisdom to discover and live their true purpose.

It is her passion and purpose to be a channel of love inspiring others in reclaiming and living those “lost dreams,” and confidently expressing the truth of who they really are.

Because, the world needs who YOU are.

LoveBobbieJo.com

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In her experience as owner and operator of Synergy Wellness Group LLC, Shana knows this listening is easier said than done, and we aren’t meant to figure out this amazing life (or body) on our own. It takes practice, specific actions, and support.

Lorine Dolby Hoffer BodyMind Associate Coach Big Change Facilitator Massage Therapist

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Through her 20+ years of work mastering the power of reflection and intention, she discovered that we are our own experts regarding our body and mind if we just learn to listen.

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Shana Hartman, LMT BodyMind Master Coach Ph.D., Educator

Araina Linton BodyMind Master Coach Araina helps overwhelmed women entrepreneurs reduce stress and create the perfect balance between work and life.

She is known for a simple step-by-step process that guides women back to their passion to avoid burnout, feel better, have more time, and build their businesses with ease.

Finding a balance between work and life is tough.

Sometimes despite your ambition, your dreams can feel a bit out of reach, and it can start to cause stress, frustration, and pain. It can be enough to make you want to give up your business.

There is a better way!

If you’re thinking about closing the doors to your business, please reconsider — introduce some healthy habits into your hustle!

MassageArtistryNYC.com FB: MassageArtistryNYC IG: arainalinton

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CERTIFIED BODYMIND COACHES MARCH 2021

Learn more about Alina and her simple yet powerful programs.

IlluminateYourCore.com IG: illumify.a.nu.mi 54

She started the wellness journey in 2013 by attending massage school and soon found out that helping people connect to their bodies was her passion. She then opened up her own business, Transcend Relaxation, specializing in the emotional aspect of chronic pain. In the pursuit of providing integrative support to her clients, she found the BodyMind Coaching method and now she helps women make positive changes in their lives, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Adrianamoralescoach@ gmail.com 909-263-6598 transcendrelaxation.com

Christina Tauer BodyMind Coach Christine uses BodyMind Coaching, breathwork, and bodywork, combined with her diverse background in holistic health to best guide her clients to find calm in the chaos.

She does this by encouraging clients to honor and love themselves and create a self-care practice that becomes a part of their daily routine.

Christine is dedicated to helping womxn discover opportunities to break the patterns and habits around stress to feel best in their body and more present in their lives.

Christina and her groundbreaking work is featured here. honumn.com IG: Christine Hinkley

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If you are ready to align with the abundant reality that has been lovingly awaiting you — Alina is here to help you explore your intelligent human design, liberate your holistic integrity, and anchor within your Root Chakra, your source of abundant Core Energy!

Adriana Morales, LMT BodyMind Coach

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As the founder of Core Momentum Coaching of Illumify A•nu•mí LLC, she creates a safe space for creative, intuitive, highly sensitive individuals to learn how to harness their time, energy, finances, and core momentum to receive abundance, live authentically, and become tethered within spiritual integrity in all areas of their lives.

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Alina McGilloway, LMT BodyMind Coach Wholistic Biz Consultant Licensed Esthetician Creative Entrepreneur

Halinka VanMinnen, RMT The Happy & Healthy Place Chatham, Ontario, Canada BodyMind Coach, RobbinsMadanes Life Coach Yoga Instructor, YTT-200 Bachelor of Health Science Halinka Van Minnen works with women who experience chronic stress and pain, helping them to align with possibility so that they can live happy and healthy on purpose.

Through BodyMind Coaching you’ll discover that you don’t have to live as if your body is hijacked by a terrorist or live in a constant state of chaos. Instead you’ll learn to treat your body as an ally learning new behaviour patterns that beat stress, decrease pain and allow you to be fully present in your life.

TheHappyandHealthyPlace. com halinka@thehappyand healthyplace.com

BODYMIND ASSOCIATE COACHES MARCH 2021

You are invited to set down what’s been swirling around in your head, become present in your body, and fully engaged with your natural inner source of wisdom. You have all your answers inside of you. I simply offer the sacred space along with tools and support that will bring YOUR brilliance to the surface so you can run with it!

Dannielle@ Tribodywellness.com IG: tribody_wellness 302.290.2235 FB: The Rebel Girl Village - A Safe Space for Divorcing and Single Mothers

I help heart centered, multitasking women, quiet the noise in their busy lives and become more in tune and grounded with their life’s purpose. I enable them to enjoy a life that is fulfilling and rewarding, without the stress, fear or guilt that they are not doing enough.

BodyMind Coaching shined a light on habit patterns that no longer served me. I was able to clearly see how I would become challenged. The most amazing part is that I’m no longer taking baby steps, but amazing, giant steps that still honor my values of integrity, freedom, authenticity, connection, abundance and playfulness.

VictoriaCarrierLMT.org Lewiston, NY

Helen Marie Carruthers, RMP Helen is a lover of movement and is fascinated by all things body-mind-soul.

As a professional dancer, she learned first-hand how the body and mind must work together to create true strength and resilience. Her understanding of the body was amplified by practicing as a massage therapist for the last 17 years. Over the last five years, a growing desire to give her clients more autonomy over how they feel led to adding the Franklin Method and BodyMind Coaching into the mix. Both of these modalities invite the client to embody how they desire to feel, and take practical steps to get there.

When she’s not working with clients, you will likely find her hanging out with her boys (husband and dog Amos) or taking a dance class.

EllicottCity-massage.com

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I work with ambitious men and women who are ready to discover how embodiment of their true values brings their personal purpose alive in how they live, work and love.

Victoria Carrier BodyMind Coach

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How would it feel to know that no matter what happens you have a place where you can always go to get the best guidance?

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Dannielle Arceneaux, LMT BodyMind Coach, RYT-200

Davida Cartwright BodyMind Coach Davida Cartwright is an Associate Coach for TeamBodyMind and the owner/operator of a massage business in Terre Haute, IN. An empathic, caring person who loves to help others feel better, she uses BodyMind Coaching to address her client’s issues (rather than just treat the symptoms).

When not working, you can find Davida spending time with her 2 teenage boys, reading, singing, riding her motorcycle and spending time outdoors.

WVMassage.info

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BODYMIND ASSOCIATE COACHES MARCH 2021

Bettyann.Cernese FB: Forward Motion Massage Make an appointment FB:

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I help stressed and anxious people on a cancer journey experience no matter how much time they have on this Earth without being self-critical and sacrificing time with family.

If you want to feel less alone and not have scanxiety, I can help you by holding space for you so that you are seen, heard and understood so that you can move forward and feel fulfilled and do everything you can in your power to live a happy fulfilled life.

BodyMind Coaching has positively impacted every facet of my life! It has enabled me to better navigate personal relationships and my own cancer journey to the point where I am now pivoting my business to help people on their own journeys. I am so grateful to live a life BodyMind connected! michelle@willowmoon healing.com FB: Willow Moon Healing, LLC

Liz Hargreaves BodyMind Coach I work with driven, passionate individuals who are ready to unleash their full potential to calibrate their body and soul to their highest level of living.

BodyMind has guided me back to myself and to my authentic life path; it has become my way of living, teaching and coaching.

LizHargreaves.ca movement@ lizhargreaves.ca Victoria, BC, Canada

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I also assist with your lack of confidence, fear, stress and anxiety in my equine guided work — Equus Journeys to Confidence and Joy. Horses are an amazing way of attuning to embodied living.

Michelle Felux BodyMind Coach, LMT

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I help people connect to their body giving voice to it so they can tune in and live more connected. From there they make more empowered choices in their life to create lasting change.

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BettyAnn Cernese BodyMind Coach, LMT Equine Guided Coach, Lead Mare

Laurie Juszkiewicz Lead Associate Coach BodyMind Community Manager I help high achieving women step out of “the hustle” and the “I should’s” and guide them to reclaim their power and tune into their intuition so that they can lead a life of financial independence and freedom!!!

BodyMind Coaching has supported my personal journey by teaching me the tools and the skills that guided me to TRUST MYSELF!! I have learned to say no to things that don’t light me up and inspire me AND that when I say no to the things that don’t light me up and inspire me I am actually CREATING SPACE for what does.

HarmonyBalanceFlow.com Buffalo, New York

BODYMIND ASSOCIATE COACHES MARCH 2021

stephaniemlankford@ gmail.com 302.290.2235 FB: The Rebel Girl Village - A Safe Space for Divorcing and Single Mothers

I help badass creative womxn who own their own business go from overwhelmed and trapped in the cycle of meeting everyone else’s needs first (including your business!) to feeling grounded, clear, calm, and spacious.

Together we create simple systems for success that tap into the rhythms, energies, and cycles of nature.

BodyMind Coaching has completely changed my life! In this community, I felt truly heard, supported, and held for the first time in my life. I’ve learned to deeply listen to myself and as a result, I’ve gained trust and confidence in myself and I’ve learned that doing it scared is the way forward.

LaurenPiroMassage.com Washington, DC

Dena Ramirez-Halle, LMT ATC/L, FST, SRT BodyMind Coach (2017) Massage Therapist B.S. in Sports Medicine Certified NATA Athletic Trainer Fascial Stretch Therapist Level 3 Medical Structural Relief Therapist I work with dedicated wellness professionals and body workers who feel overwhelmed , burned out, exhausted, unorganized, stuck, and chained to the demands and antiquated systems of doing business design and create freedom, fun and finances that support a life they love and a business that inspires them to show up their best way!

BodyMind with Laura Wieck helped me to find the balance in my work and home life with out feeling guilty about it!

DenaHalle.com

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The Rebel Girl Village is a small village where 3 single mother families live harmoniously and raise their children together as a family unit to make their lives better.

Lauren Piro

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Community activist, idea girl, and founder of The Rebel Girl Village, Stephanie Lankford is a dynamic single mama who loves nature and her two imaginative and free-spirited daughters. In 2017 Stephanie took the brave leap to become a single mother and made the crucial choice to live her life authentically and on her own terms. As a BodyMind coach, she helps other single mothers do the same.

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Stephanie Lankford, LMT BodyMind Master Coach Ph.D., Educator

Jennifer Taylor, LTM, CRM I work with heart-centered women who love doing for others, but the constant overgiving has left them feeling lost. My clients know they have a bigger purpose, and I help them learn how to listen to their bodies and discover their intuition so they can start making confident decisions.

BodyMind coaching has supported me in so many ways. It has completely transformed every aspect of my life: my relationships, my career, my health, how I view myself, how I move through life everyday. I live authentically and have learned my worth. I have completely transformed my business and I’m in awe of the “work” I get to do.

JenniferTaylor.blog Red Lion, PA

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Laura Wieck LLC EDITOR Laura Wieck support@LauraWieck.com ART DIRECTION & DESIGN Sandy Bassett sandy@sandybassett.com DISTRIBUTION Subscriptions questions: support@LauraWieck.com To renew or change address: support@LauraWieck.com To subscribe visit BodyMindLiving.com For additional assistance: support@LauraWieck.com MAILING ADDRESS PO Box 21712 Columbus, OH 43221-0712 Reproduction of editorial or advertising content without the written permission of the publisher is prohibited. ©2021 POSTMASTER: Send address changes to BodyMind Living Magazine, PO Box 21712, Columbus, OH 43221-0712 MARCH 2021..............Issue No 6 BodyMind Living Magazine is published 10 times/year by Laura Wieck LLC. Periodicals postage paid at Columbus, Ohio and additional mailing offices.

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PUBLISHER

IMAGE CREDITS With the stunning images from photographers around the world who contribute to Unsplash, BodyMind Living Magazine benefits greatly and we would like to honor and thank them.

Klara Kulikova (page 6) Pat Whelen (page 11) Aubree Herrick (page 18) Lee Yan (page19) Benjamin Combs (pps 22) Megan Savoie (page 29) Fotografierende (page 34) Jonathan Borba (page 38) William Farlow Leva (page 41) Debra O. Photography (page 50) Lily Saffu (back cover)

Photographs supplied to us by our team and Ambassadors.

Deep gratitude to this amazing cohort of Ambassadors and their courage in being seen and heard in these first six issues of BodyMind Living Magazine.

Fidel Forde Melissa Kelley Heidi Metro Michelle Rockwood Laura Wieck Carly Clark Zimmer

the redefining healing issue

Now it’s your turn...

We hope you enjoyed this issue, and as always the conversation continues over at The BodyMind Living Community.

Please join us and let us know a little bit about what showed up for you.

How do you define healing in your life?

Was there an opportunity where healing awakens you? Does healing allow you to deepen your expression of life?

We’re so grateful to have you here. Living BodyMind is about living the brilliance of who you are, and sharing that with the world.

JOIN THE BODYMIND LIVING COMMUNITY HERE!

MEET YOUR BODYMIND LIVING AMBASSADORS MARCH 2021 :: REDEFINING HEALING

FIDEL FORDE PAGE 44

MELISSA KELLEY PAGE 4

What if healing is the result

We cannot heal what

of living as if you already

we won’t acknowledge.

were healed?

LAURA WIECK PAGE 53

I finally took permission to feel everything I had suppressed my

navigatingHEALING entire life.

HEIDI METRO PAGE 26

We are designed, as nature, to heal. To begin again.

MICHELLE ROCKWOOD

CARLY CLARK ZIMMER PAGE 35

PAGE 10

Even if I falter, I will be

Fighting with reality

there for myself.

causes us incredible suffering.

BODYMIND