Kol Hadash: Spring 2018

‫ קולחדש‬KOL HADASH 2.0

SPRING 2018

Diamant sparks new rituals Bestselling Author Anita Diamant inspired BJ’s new Ritual Lab Series.

Author Anita Diamant — best known for her 1997 blockbuster novel The Red Tent — has rituals on her mind. They fill her bestselling books, and her focus on them led her to open the Mayyim Hayyim mikvah in Massachusetts in 2004, a space where women and men of all ages come to mark milestones through the ritual of mikvah.

Diamant recently came to BJ, where she served as inspiration for an exciting new Center for Prayer and Spirituality initiative — the Ritual Lab Series. Launched this past summer, the series was designed to explore continued on page 2

Meet Rabbi Erin Glazer

CONTENTS Diamant and new rituals . . . . . . . 1, 2 Meet Rabbi Erin Glazer . . . . . . . . 1, 5 Teens . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1, 3 Grandparents. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 Jokes for Obama. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 BJ concert series. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7 Remember and renew . . . . . . . . . . . 8

As we shared in February, we will welcome Rabbi Erin Glazer and her family to BJ this summer. Our first new Assistant Rabbi in decades, Erin will join the Clergy Team to support the community’s growing needs, particularly those of our families.

A graduate of the University of Maryland, College Park (Government and Politics, Judaic Studies) and Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion (HUC-JIR), Erin brings a wealth of work experience to her new role. Most recently, for the past four years, Erin served as Senior Engagement Officer at Mazon: A Jewish continued on page 5

Livestreaming . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9 Profile: Shelley Simpson . . . . . . . . 10 Death Over Dinner. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11 Art of community building . . . . . . . 12 Dialoguing across difference. . . . . 13 Community Shabbat dinners. . . . . 13 20s/30s group . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14

Teens take on new responsibilities A new BJ mentoring program helps teens build leadership skills, forge professional connections.

Joshua Mantel, president of the teen executive board, and fellow BJ teen leaders got a new perk this year: they met one-on-one each month with a BJ staff member to help hone their leadership skills. continued on page 3

Kadima@BJ •

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Moving Jewish Education Forward

‫ קולחדש‬KOL HADASH 2.0

SPRING 2018

Diamant sparks new rituals continued from page 1 key transitions in people’s lives, create a collaborative space to learn about Jewish ritual, and serve as a catalyst to create new rituals for these special moments.

“The power of ritual is that it helps us take these moments in our lives and lift them up in a holy space in an embodied way,” said Cantor David Mintz, Director of the Center for Prayer and Spirituality. “We have rituals for birth, weddings, and death, but there are all these moments in between.

We wanted to recognize that.”

The first four-session lab centered on retirement, and included members contemplating retirement and those already retired who shared wisdom from their experience.

Rabbi Felicia Sol interviewed Diamant, a Brooklyn native and founding president of Mayyim Hayyim, about her path from working as a sports journalist in Boston to becoming an important part of the American Jewish canon.

Diamant’s best-sellers on Jewish rituals include The New Jewish Wedding, The New Jewish Baby Book, and How to Raise a Jewish Child. (Watch the full BJ Diamant interview on YouTube — www.bj.org/diamant).

“That conversation gave birth to the Ritual Lab Series,” David said. “Part of the goal is not just to create these rituals which are so meaningful, but it’s to show how the act of creating rituals is also a spiritual practice.”

The first four-session lab centered on retirement, and included members contemplating retirement and those already retired who shared wisdom from their experience. A guest speaker from ImmerseNYC discusses how to define ritual. David and Rabbi Michael Boino led members in discussing their fears, hopes, and feelings about retirement, and together, the group created a candlelighting ritual to mark the transition.

Center for Prayer and Spirituality

Explore the new retirement ritual co-created by the Retirement Ritual Lab participants at www.bj.org/retirementritual.

The series is one of many programs supported by BJ’s new Center for Prayer and Spirituality.

The Center is focused on three main goals: supporting creative ritual, enhancing BJ’s meditation and mindfulness practice, and exploring communal singing as a spiritual practice.

Another new initiative, the Monday Minha meditation, is a half hour every Monday evening that will be dedicated to meditation and led by a variety of meditation and mindfulness professionals.

“I thought it was great,” said Les Nelson, a BJ board member and Ritual Lab participant. “Rituals we all know that have been around for hundreds or thousands of years were new at some point. It’s appropriate to create new rituals.”

Les, a Naval officer turned Goldman Sachs executive, retired several years ago. “Ritual really helps propel us forward into the next phase,” he said, “toward opportunity, growth, and the possibilities of our futures. Doing it as part of a group gives you the perspective and insight of others.”

As part of the ceremony, participants recited: “Indeed, we are strengthened by the work we have done and the experiences we have had. They have transformed us, and yet, they will return to us. They have enriched our lives, and yet, we will return to them. While the light of our initial candle may grow dim and ultimately go out, it has enabled a new light to shine. As we are guided by the light of this new flame, may we be reminded of its source, and the source for all.”

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Teens take on new responsibilities continued from page 1 The new Mentoring Program for teen leaders forges closer connections between BJ staff and teenage members. It follows a revamping of BJ’s teen leadership structure, which now includes a ten-member teen executive board and a teen leadership council.

Teens took center stage again on April 21 during this year’s Teen Shabbat, when they led BJ’s entire Shabbat morning service.

Executive board members paired up with a BJ staff member at the start of the year. After a January training session for mentors and mentees, pairs have met monthly to set goals, brainstorm projects, and learn how to better lead meetings.

“Part of the vision behind this was for professional staff to know our teens,” said Director of Family Life and Learning Mike Witman. “We want to build a strong teen community, for teens to understand what it’s like to work in the professional world and to walk away with tangible skills.”

Joshua, for one, has done just that. “It’s pushed me to learn what it means to be a leader,” he said, “and through that process, I’ve started to develop my own leadership skills.” What’s more, he’s forged new, meaningful relationships with his peers and benefited from the guidance of his mentor, executive director Colin Weil.

“Colin has helped me immensely,” Joshua said. “It’s great that teens and staff are creating strong professional

relationships, and it’s amazing to see my fellow teens so motivated to make change.”

Recently, teens put their new skills to use, taking ownership of this year’s Purim festivities. Executive board and council members split up — half planned BJ’s Purim carnival and half executed Rabbi Adina Lewittes’ vision of an Unmasquerade Ball.

Teens working on the carnival took ownership by ordering food and supplies and volunteering at stations on the day of the event. Teens who helped organize the DJ, photo booth, and food for the Unmasquerade Ball — a celebration and safe space for LGBTQ teens, their friends, and allies — helped raise over $500 for the Sam and Devorah Foundation for Trans Youth.

More than 60 teens from across the tristate area attended.

“It was Purim deconstructed,” said Assistant Director of Family Life and Learning Ayala Wasser. “The idea was, you don’t have to wear that mask you might feel you need to wear in your everyday life.”

Interested in learning more about teen programming? Check out www.bj.org/ teens.

7th graders connect at Holocaust Museum Building on their learning inside the classroom, seventh graders recently spent a memorable day at the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington D.C. The immersive trip, part of BJ’s comprehensive travel offering for 6th through 12th graders, introduced students to stories from the Holocaust and modern refugee stories. Most recently, the museum’s “Syria: Please Don’t Forget Us” exhibit introduces visitors to the conflict in Syria through one man’s story. Technology-free BJ students (program leaders collected cell phones at the start of the trip) spent the weekend in the nation’s capital and also toured the National Mall.

“The Holocaust museum is a highlight for the kids,” said Assistant Director of Family Life and Learning Ayala Wasser. “It’s astounding to watch them go through it, they’re so moved by the stories. Walking in are a bunch of 7th graders; walking out is one cohesive group. You can feel the energy.”

Announcing the New 2018-19 Teen Executive Board President: Guy Haninovitch Vice President: Abigail Sylvor Greenberg Director of Communications: Mariel Priven Development Chair: Alex Sherman 3

Membership Coordinators: Peri Friedman, Julia Rothman Tzedek Coordinators: Sophie Fishman, Sydney Greene Jewish Life Coordinators: Stephanie Bromberg, Abigail Bromberger

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SPRING 2018

Grandparents reflect on family dynamics The recent “Grandparenting in Jewish Families” series is one of several Jewish Home Project events inspiring and informing members.

In a room full of fellow grandparents poring over Jewish texts, it dawned on member Renee Cherow-O’Leary she could create a special “curriculum” to help her 6-year-old grandson–part of a multi-faith family–understand religion.

The series was a part of BJ’s new Jewish Home Project, an initiative developed for multi-faith and multiheritage families — but relevant to all BJ families — to equip and inspire members to make meaningful decisions about Jewish life.

“The idea is to expand the sanctity of our main Sanctuary into mini sanctuaries in people’s home,” Dini said. “This project is for the entire gamut of homes that make up the mosaic of our community.”

Renee envisioned taking him to museums, to activities at BJ, and to churches and mosques. Rabbi Adina Lewittes and participants in the recent “Grandparenting in Jewish Families” series encouraged Renee and contributed their own ideas about relationship-building with grandkids in multi-faith families. The program was yet another opportunity to bring together members in small groups.

“Hearing the other grandparents wrestle with their questions—not only about interfaith and the next generation, but about all kinds of family dynamics that impact grandparenting — I realized this process of discussion was very special and meaningful,” Renee said. “It allowed us to reflect on our sense of the future of Judaism for the next generation.”

Topics explored in the Grandparenting series included the role of grandparents in the family, intergenerational dynamics, and legacy. Participants studied Jewish texts, shared their personal narratives, and then, in the final session, received practical advice from family systems experts.

“The takeaway from this course was rich,” Renee said. “It was an extraordinary experience to be able to question and be heard.”

Other Jewish Home Project events have included a multi-faith family discussion on the challenges and opportunities of the high holiday season, small group home-based Hanukkah candle lightings, and a conversation about how to tell a more inclusive Passover story.

A six-week Monday morning Beit Midrash program between Pesah and Shavuot — “And You Shall Tell Your

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Rabbi Adina Lewittes

“The idea is to expand the sanctity of our main Sanctuary into mini sanctuaries in people’s home,” Dini said.

Children” — explored how to answer children’s questions surrounding Jewish identity.

BJ has also developed a new wedding ceremony for multi-faith and multiheritage families that includes a creatively adapted T’naim ritual. “The ceremony fully acknowledges and honors the identities of the two people coming to the union,” Dini said.

Read more about the Jewish Home Project at www.bj.org/jhp.

Meet Rabbi Erin Glazer

continued from page 1

Response to Hunger, where she worked with rabbis, Jewish institutions, and youth to further the non-profit’s mission to end hunger in the United States and Israel.

Registration for 2018-19 is open now.

Learn more at www.bj.org/kadima.

M E M B E R S H I P AT B J :

there’s no place

like

home

Membership at BJ is about more than paying annual dues: it’s about building and sustaining a unique community committed to transforming individual lives and the wider world. Membership for 2018-19 is now open. Find out how to join or renew now at www.bj.org/ membership.

Prior to that, Erin was Associate Rabbi at Temple Emanu-El in Westfield, NJ, where she spearheaded creative programming including a volunteer-run Mitzvah Garden that supplied fresh produce to a local food pantry. She also worked extensively with families and children and introduced poetry and meditation into Shabbat services. Before “... As a rabbi, I am a spiritual tour guide, helping Rabbinical school, Erin others explore the new territory of the soul.” spent three years in Washington, D.C., first as a Legislative Assistant for the Religious Action Center of Reform Judaism, and then as Legislative Associate for the National Council of Jewish Women. She’s also worked as a chaplain at New York Presbyterian Hospital.

Combined, these experiences have helped form Erin’s vision of her rabbinate.

“As a rabbi, I think of myself as a teacher of spiritual practices,” she says. “As a worship leader, my goal is to help others lose themselves in the power of song and prayer, joining together to fill the sanctuary with the music of our hearts. As a rabbi, I am a spiritual tour guide, helping others explore the new territory of the soul.”

When Erin was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma in 2014, the authentic relationships in her life helped drive her recovery. Authentic relationships, she says, can promote well-being and spark new perspectives and inspiration.

“The synagogue is the nexus, the place where such relationships can develop,” she says. Erin is eager to strengthen and foster such relationships at BJ when she arrives in New York City this summer.

She will be relocating from Washington, D.C. with her husband, Rabbi Joseph Skloot, who will be a professor at HUC-JIR, and their daughter, Maya, who will be attending Bank Street School for Children, as well as, God willing, Maya’s new sibling.

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‫ קולחדש‬KOL HADASH 2.0

SPRING 2018

Jokes for Obama Former BJ member and Obama speechwriter David Litt talks about how lessons learned at BJ helped him in politics.

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hen David Litt joined BJ, he was in diapers. Twenty-odd years later, the now head writer at Funny or Die found himself in the White House writing jokes for President Barack Obama as one of his top speechwriters.

BJ is unique, David said, in the way it values both faith and the need to question. It’s a lesson that David carried with him into politics.

David recently came back to BJ where he spoke to a packed room about faith and politics, his journey to the White House, the life of a speechwriter, his antics aboard Air Force One, and his new, bestselling book Thanks Obama: My Hopey, Changey White House Years.

Fellow Yale University graduate and former BJ member Robin Pogrebin, a reporter on the New York Times Culture desk, interviewed David.

Robin Pogrebin and David Litt

post Yale days as a CIA applicant to his first meeting with President Obama.

David first discovered Obama on an airplane flying back to JFK. The then senator was giving a victory speech on the night of the Iowa caucus. David was glued to his mini TV screen, and struck

by Obama’s words that, “In the face of impossible odds, people who love this country can change it.”

BJ is unique, David said, in the way it values both faith and the need to question. It’s a lesson that David carried with him into politics. “This book ended “There are so few times you can say up being about what it means to believe ‘This 10-minute period changed my in something, and how to also have life,’” said David. “By the time the doubts about it,” he said. plane landed, I was a fundamentally a different person.”

The talk was one event that’s come out of this year’s Faith & Public Life Described as the comic muse initiative and was organized in part by for the president, David was the the Yale Jewish Alumni Association, lead writer on four White House headed up by BJ executive director correspondents dinner monologues.

Colin Weil.

He also wrote Obama’s speech for David peppered his comments with wisecracks, taking attendees from his

the Union for Reform Judaism’s 2011 Biennial conference, a Thanksgiving

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Day video address that erupted into a “miniature scandal,” and Obama’s speech at a Shoah Foundation event.

Of the hundreds of possible jokes David and his team wrote for the President each year, David has said his favorite was from the 2013 White House Correspondents’ Dinner.

“I know Republicans are still sorting out what happened in 2012,” Obama said at the dinner, “but one thing they all agree on is they need to do a better job reaching out to minorities. And look, call me self-centered, but I can think of one minority they could start with.

Hello? Think of me as a trial run, you know?”

Watch David’s full interview and read more about the Faith & Public Life initiative at www.bj.org/fplresources.

Concert series brings new global voices, melodies to BJ From Macedonians to Indian-Americans, guest musicians have brought new sounds to moments of prayer at BJ.

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or years, BJ has woven melodies from other cultures into its music.

Now, members are getting even more of a flavor for these tunes with BJ’s new concert series. It’s brought musicians from a variety of traditions and locations to BJ.

Center for Prayer and Spirituality

“Bringing in musicians from across the world is very powerful,” said Israeliborn Dan Nadel, Music Director of BJ’s Center for Prayer and Spirituality since July 2017. “We’re going deeper into

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The first concert in the series, a Leonard Cohen Tribute, marked Cohen’s first yahrzeit, included clergy from synagogues across the city, and drew more than 700 attendees. The second performance, a Balkan concert called “Revolving Prisms” featured the band Tavche Gravche, which includes performers from Macedonia and Israel.

The third concert, Devotional Song: Kirtan Shabbat Shirah, paid homage to

a call-and-response song style popular in India and Pakistan. Indian-American musicians performed using traditional instruments. (Watch the concert online at www.bj.org/devotionalsong).

On April 11 at 8:00PM, Cantor David Mintz, Director of the Center for Prayer and Spirituality, and Dan led a Yom Hashoah concert dedicated to music from the Terezín Ghetto. The program looked at how some of Eastern Europe’s most prominent Jewish musicians used music as a mechanism for survival.

This year’s Shavuot teaching session also included call-and-response music.

Bo-i Kallah, BJ’s monthly Kabbalat Shabbat, includes music from other cultures as well, featuring poetry melodies from across the Sefardi world.

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High Holy Days Volunteering: Help Make the Magic Happen Each year, more than 3,000 people come together at BJ to bring in the new Jewish year. Hundreds of volunteers work with us behind the scenes and at the door to make these beautiful services possible and to help create a sacred space for the spiritual work of the season.

Help make the magic happen! Let us know how you want to volunteer at www.bj.org/magic. We will be in touch closer to the High Holy Days with more details on how to sign up for specific spots.

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‫ קולחדש‬KOL HADASH 2.0

SPRING 2018

Remember and renew Andrea Varadi memorialized her uncle Gábor, a surgeon from Geneva, by having his name inscribed on BJ’s Memorial Plaque.

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hen Andrea Varadi’s uncle Gábor András Váradi died from cancer in Geneva, she and husband Mike Brown knew they wanted to memorialize him in a special way.

And so, after Gábor’s passing, Andrea and Mike honored his memory by having his name inscribed on BJ’s Memorial Plaque in the Sanctuary.

As part of their dedication, Mike and Andrea also participated in a short, intimate Memorial Plaque Dedication Ceremony led by Rabbi Marcelo Bronstein. Andrea’s mother joined via Skype from Geneva.

Spring is the perfect time to remember those we’ve lost and renew our connection to Judaism and BJ. “Gábor brought so much joy and love and poetry into the world, and he had such an incredible heart and soul,” said Mike. “We wanted to do something to honor his memory, to keep it alive in a community that’s been very important for us. We wanted him to be a part of our spiritual life in New York.”

Gábor András Váradi’s father survived wartime spent in a concentration camp.

Decades later, he fled Communistruled Budapest for Geneva with his family. He became a successful surgeon, and was a larger-than-life figure, said Mike.

As part of the plaque process, Mike and Andrea were able to have Hungarian accent marks etched into the marble, making the dedication even more special.

Honor a loved one by dedicating a siddur Most of our 1,000 new siddurim—Siddur Lev Shalem—have already been dedicated, but there are still a few hundred left. Memorialize your loved ones or celebrate lifecycle events by dedicating a siddur for $36—order now at www.bj.org/siddurim.

Adding the name of a loved one to the Memorial Plaque is one way to remember and renew this year with BJ. Spring is the perfect time to remember those we’ve lost and renew our connection to Judaism and BJ. Other ways include dedicating a Siddur or creating a Yizkor listing. Click the link to arrange for your inscription.

Learn more at www.bj.org/ remembrance-renewal, or contact Lyndsey Hunter at lhunter@bj.org or 212-787-7600 x239.

2017–2018/5778

In loving memory of Barry Epstein, who found his spiritual home at BJ, and loved nothing more than eating ice cream with his grandchildren on a hot summer day.

‫י ְת ִפ ָּל ִתי לְ ָך יהוה ֵעת ָרצ‬ ‫ֹון ֱאל‬ ‫ ֹ ִהים‬.‫ַו ֲאנִ ְ ּב ָרב ַח ְס ֶ ּדָך ֲענֵ נִ י ֶ ּב ֱא ֶמת ִי ְשׁ ֶעָך‬ May my prayer to You, Adonai, come at a favorable time.

God, in Your abundant love, answer me with the truth of Your deliverance.

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Livestreaming “spreads the magic of BJ” Homebound members can still be a part of BJ thanks to the synagogue’s new technical capability.

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rli Hochenstein’s grandfather in Montreal was too ill to come to BJ for her bat mitzvah. But he was still there, albeit virtually, thanks to BJ’s livestreaming.

Want to follow along with services from home? The siddur used at BJ services is Siddur Lev Shalem, available for purchase from the Rabbinical Assembly.

The new capability allows members, their family, and others interested in Shabbat service around the world to tune in to services at BJ. Members who are homebound can continue to participate in services. Members on vacation can also stay connected to the community.

Since Livestreaming kicked off late last year, Kabbalat Shabbat has streamed every Friday at 7:00PM, and Shabbat Morning services on Saturday at 9:30AM. Special events including b’nai mitzvah have also been streamed.

Recordings are later available to watch on the BJ website.

special and unique,” he said. “It made a huge difference. We went from the sadness of not having him participate, to a more joyous time of including him.

My father really did appreciate it.”

thinks it’s a great thing makes it even better. When we can’t be at BJ, it’s wonderful to know we can still connect with our community and what goes on.”

“The fact that we could bring a little bit of Shabbat into wherever we are, even Honolulu, was a great thing,” Paula said.

Feedback from homebound members has been that “it’s incredibly meaningful for them, very healing, and comforting,” said Roly. Livestreaming also allows those on trips, like Paula Kramer Weiss and her family, to have a moment of Shabbat while away from New York.

Roly said livestreaming also makes it possible to bring Shabbat to others across the world who may not have access to a community like BJ. Making recordings available after the fact promotes learning as well. Members might use a recording to practice a certain melody or listen again to a message they found especially meaningful.

“Many members who are homebound long for Shabbat, the music, and prayer,” said Rabbi Roly Matalon. “This is a great opportunity for them to have a piece of Shabbat, and to be able to participate and connect to the Jewish tradition, to BJ, and to the music.”

When Paula and her family traveled to Hawaii, her son Eli, 15, turned to her Friday night in Honolulu and suggested the family watch Friday night services at BJ. They sat overlooking the beach and immersed themselves in services on their iPhone.

“Shabbat brings joy and comfort and a moment of spiritual connection,” said Roly. “We want to bring the holiness of Shabbat to anyone who wants to have access to it.”

Orli’s father, Jeremy Hochenstein, said that because he is observant, initially he was wary of the idea of livestreaming. “But it really was

“The fact that we could bring a little bit of Shabbat into wherever we are, even Honolulu, was a great thing,” Paula said. “The fact that my 15-year-old

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Paula calls it a 21st century Shabbat experience. “It helps to spread the magic of BJ,” she said.

‫ קולחדש‬KOL HADASH 2.0

SPRING 2018

My Path to BJ: Shelley Simpson In this regular feature, we profile a member and look at how BJ has helped shape their life.

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helley Simpson joined BJ 13 years “When I came to BJ, I was just ready,” ago when she moved to New York she said. “I was looking for something, from Washington, D.C. After several and there was a connection.” years in the city, family commitments and a job took her away from New York for more than a year. It was BJ that brought her back.

“When I came to BJ, I was just ready,” she said. “I was looking for something, and there was a connection.”

“I missed it the most,” Shelley said. “It was like a magnet.”

Over the years, Shelley , a lawyer by training, has built a community at BJ — friends she catches up with on Friday night at Shabbat services and meets every year for break-fast. She’s taken classes and has volunteered as an usher for the last 13 years.

“Spiritually, BJ has become my home,” said Shelley, a Michigan native who’s also lived and worked in Florida. In addition to working in law, she’s been a policy lobbyist and Deputy Chief of Staff to a member of Congress. She now owns a virtual Juice Plus franchise.

Shelley made her way to BJ after a Jewish colleague she worked with in Florida on John Kerry’s presidential campaign suggested she join. The coworker had friends in New York and knew about BJ. “I walked into BJ on a Friday night for Shabbat, and I joined that following Monday,” Shelley said. “I haven’t missed a Friday night since.”

A self-professed workaholic, Shelley says Shabbat services provide her with a much needed way to “turn off.” “I would work 24-7 if I could,” she said, “but it wears you down. Shabbat is a way to be mindful.”

BJ is also a constant learning ground, she said. Over the years, in classes and during services, she’s picked up ideas that have served her well both in life and business. But perhaps the best part of BJ is that it’s made New York City feel like a small town.

Interested in becoming an usher at Shabbat like Shelley, or a greeter? BJ can always use more help during services.

Contact Lucretia John at 212-787-7600 x240 or ljohn@bj.org for more information.

Not long after, Shelley became an usher. She’s now head usher for Friday night. At first, she was unfamiliar with the liturgy, so she bought a transliterated siddur, signed up for liturgy classes at BJ, attended morning minyan, and taught herself Hebrew.

She remembers she was struck, especially, by the music. At the time, Several years ago, she started BJ’s rabbis would sit in a circle playing attending Saturday services as well. drums for a portion of the service. Up “That’s added another dimension,” to that point, Shelley had not immersed Shelley said. “I’ve found connection, herself in a Jewish community; she and I’ve made friends.” attended shul just a few times a year.

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“When I moved here, I knew nobody,” Shelley said. “Now, I can’t walk around the Upper West Side without seeing someone from BJ and stopping and chatting. BJ is amazing.”

Perform a Mitzvah in Your Sleep Our shelter is in need of sleepover volunteers for Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday evenings.

This is a great opportunity to fulfill the mitzvah of providing hospitality with dignity, all while sleeping through the night.

Contact Larissa at lwohl@bj.org to learn more.

REPAIR THE WORLD TODAY WITH BJ

Death Over Dinner Members meet to get deep about death.

“E

veryone knows they should talk about end of life and the idea of death, but they don’t want to,” said Billie Di Stefano, Hesed Programs and Life Cycles Manager.

Thinking about death can be uncomfortable, but it’s a life cycle event that deserves thought and introspection. BJ members recently came together to do just that: think and talk about death. Several dozen members attended Death Over Dinner, a facilitated evening where participants

shared their thoughts, fears, and ideas about dying.

“People got very deep, very open, and very willing to share, and really enjoyed it,” said Billie. “One conversation prompt was ‘Have you told your loved ones what your ideal death would be?’ and most people hadn’t,” she said.

The dinner served as this year’s Zayin Adar event, an annual program that honors BJ’s Hevra Kadisha

MEET THE STAFF When he’s not at BJ, Facilities/Maintenance staff member Alex Diaz cares for his elderly mother and draws cartoons.

B’nai Jeshurun: What was your path to BJ? Alex J. Diaz: I started out working at BJ as a private contractor.

When the contract finished, I was interested in working here, and they ended up bringing me on. I’ve been with BJ now for three years, going on four. Before that I worked in Commodities as an operations clerk.

BJ: Tell us about your typical day.

AJD: I get in as early as possible. I leave home in Washington Heights, and I’m here around 6:00AM. I eat my breakfast, and then I open the building around 6:45AM. I clean the sidewalks, adjust the boiler and double check the morning set-ups that need to be done, like Morning Minyan. Then, I start doing the custodial part of my job, checking the bathrooms to make sure there are no leaks or breaks, checking the stairwells to make sure the firehoses are okay, small basic safety stuff.

BJ: What do you enjoy about working at BJ? AJD: I have a good team behind me, and my boss is a good person. It makes it easier to do your job when you have a great team behind you.

BJ: Tell us one thing your co-workers/members don’t know about you.

AJD: I like to draw cartoons. It’s a hobby of mine. I’m also a caretaker for my 84-year-old mother.

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volunteers, members who comfort mourners. It was co-sponsored by “What Matters: Caring Conversations About End of Life,” an initiative of the Jewish community of New York around advanced care planning conversations.

Death Over Dinner events have been held for years across the world. BJ used a Jewish version that was tweaked by the JCC to work for big groups. Participants broke into small groups, and each table was led by both a room and a table facilitator.

Prompts helped participants open up. Attendees were asked to bring someone into the room who had died, or who was on the edges, that had a significant impact on their lives. Texts were incorporated into the event, and members shared stories of loved ones they had to let go of.

Member Rochelle Friedlich was the evening’s primary facilitator. “When something is out of awareness or a taboo topic for discussion, there’s no possibility for change; and there’s so much that needs to change about the way our culture deals with (or rather doesn’t deal with) end of life,” she said.

Sharon Anstey, one of the Hevra Kadisha chairs, also attended. “The feedback was overwhelmingly positive,” she said. “People were glad to have a safe space in which to share. I was moved by the willingness of participants to share such deep truths and experiences.”

‫ קולחדש‬KOL HADASH 2.0

SPRING 2018

The art of community building Israeli Culture Salon Series brings art, music into members homes, builds connections.

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sraeli musician Nadav Lev started playing jazz guitar on his kibbutz at age 9. Since then, he’s taken the stage at Carnegie Hall and Lincoln Center. In April, he visited a BJ member’s home to perform popular Israeli tunes for Israel’s 70th birthday.

Nadav was joined by two other Israeli artists for the April 29 evening event, BJ’s third installment of its Israeli Culture Salon Series, “Israel’s 70th: A Retrospective Through Art and Song.”

and actors, who are represented by the America-Israel Cultural Foundation (AICF).

“BJ members wanted to know more about Israeli culture and art,” said Director of Israel Engagement Moshe Samuels, “and these events have turned into a wonderful opportunity for community building. Members are getting to know each other.”

Basoonist Gili Sharett

Deborah Wasserman (above) and one of her works of art (left)

Already this year, dozens of members have enjoyed meeting Israeli artists living in New York and learning about the country’s art and culture alongside fellow members. The intimate events, held in congregants’ home, have created connections and sparked new friendships between members who otherwise may not have met. The setting allows for deep conversations with the musicians, singers, artists,

Part two of the series, in late March, featured a performance and discussion about immigration, aliyah, and the founding communities of Israel with artists of Ashkenazi and Mizrahi heritage. Bassoonist Gili Sharett performed classical music and shared her family heritage; artist Deborah Wasserman showcased her work on nomadic, socially engaged themes related to Israel.

Long-time BJ members Asya and Ted Berger opened their Upper West Side brownstone to 40 fellow members for the first in the series. Guests sang along to show tunes with singer and 12

actor Omer Shaish who performed works of Jewish Broadway composers on the Berger’s piano. Classical pianist Shai Zohar played tunes, and abstract painter Rotem Reshef brought canvases with her and spoke about her technique. Guests noshed on food provided by the Bergers, and lingered chatting for hours.

“It was so lovely, and we enjoyed doing it,” said Asya. “The artists are so talented.” Ted said “there was such an interesting mixture of people. We knew many people, but we also had the chance to meet new people. It is about community building.”

Moshe hopes to continue the series in 2019. He’d like to integrate Palestinian artists into events, and has spoken to a few who could be a good fit. He envisions a dialogue between an Israeli artist and a Palestinian artist on topical themes related to Israel. Contact Moshe at msamuels@bj.org to host an event or propose an idea.

Dialoguing across difference At Faith & Public Life lecture, NYU social psychologist Jonathan Haidt delves into constructive disagreement.

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ow do we understand and respect the moral motives of people with whom we disagree? NYU-Stern School of Business social psychologist Dr. Jonathan Haidt recently came to BJ to shed light on just that.

His talk, “The Jewish Art of Constructive Disagreement: Just What We Need In a Polarized Time,” was the third in BJ’s Faith & Public Life lecture series. The series is sparking dialogue about the underlying values driving our political views.

BJ launched its year-long Faith & Public Life initiative to explore the relationship between democracy and religion and consider how Jewish

wisdom, practice, and experience can help repair America’s torn social fabric.

Dr. Haidt looks at how morality varies across culture, including the cultures of American progressives, conservatives and libertarians, and has been named a “top 100 global thinker” by Foreign Policy magazine.

He is the author of The New York Times best seller “The Righteous Mind: Why Good People are Divided By Religion,” and his third book, “The Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas are Setting Up a Generation for Failure,” will be published this September.

Dr. Jonathan Haidt

The fourth lecture in the series, featuring Dr. Yehuda Kurtzer, President of the Shalom Hartman Institute of North America, was held on May 30. Watch the full lecture series at www.bj.org/faithlecture.

Members connect at Community Shabbat dinner Nearly 100 BJ members gathered in the chapel with Hazzan Ari Priven earlier this year for a meaningful and musicfilled Community Shabbat dinner, another way in which BJ members are coming together to learn and bond in smaller groups.

“People had a great time and enjoyed the warmth of the people who were there, the food, and the singing,” said Ari. “It’s a great way to celebrate Shabbat.”

The dinner, which organizers had “It was a beautiful evening,” said expected would attract maybe 20 to 30 Helena Diamant-Glass, a member for members, drew families, couples, and the last 20 years. “Ari was a wonderful both long-time and new BJ members and gracious host. People were really interested in gathering as a community lingering and enjoying and wanting to for Shabbat and learning more about stay. Other participants and I agreed, Ari and each other. It was organized we want to make sure we have this in an effort to deepen and enrich type of dinner again.” members’ Jewish lives — and was Another Community Shabbat dinner open to the entire BJ community was held on June 1, and Ari hopes to “There was an educational aspect and hold them next year on a more regular a community aspect,” said Ari, whose basis. Future plans may include family also attended the event. A rotating hosts to include different music-filled Shabbat dinner at Ari’s clergy members. older son’s Yeshiva in Israel served as inspiration for the dinner. Ari organized seating in a “U” shape, identical to the Yeshiva event, allowing all attendees to see each other.

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‫ קולחדש‬KOL HADASH 2.0

SPRING 2018

20s/30s group gets a boost The group now has its own committee, and it’s in search of a new name.

It’s time for a new name.

BJ’s twenties and thirties group — known as Tze’irim for more than a decade — is in search of a new name, and members are helping. In May, the group hosted a whiteboard session to brainstorm ideas. Stay tuned for the big reveal.

committee to spearhead meaningful, relevant programming for young professionals.

Jordan Blitzer and Rina Goldberg came on as co-chairs; Jordan grew up at BJ and Rina is a new member. Already, the two — along with BJ member Mike Brown — have helped organize unique events for this growing BJ group. Since summer 2016, 170 twenties/thirties households have joined BJ, said Tess.

At the group’s February Chefugee event, a Syrian chef and refugee prepared a traditional Syrian dinner for over 50 attendees, and shared his family history and resettlement story.

The event was held in partnership with Komeeda’s Displaced Kitchens.

Since her arrival last summer, Assistant Director of Community Engagement Tess Chanoch has been hard at work helping create a twenties and thirties committee to spearhead meaningful, relevant programming for young professionals.

Tobias Moss also led Havdalah at the event.

“Our goal is to show people how BJ is active in the social justice space,” said Jordan, “and to put on interesting events.” She’s aiming for at least two events a month for 20s and 30s Past events have also included class on Sukkot Throughout the Ages, a destressing meditation workshop, and Shabbat dinners.

Lufti Mohamed

The name switch is one of several recent changes designed to infuse a new energy into the group. Since her arrival at BJ last summer, Assistant Director of Community Engagement Tess Chanoch has been hard at work helping create a twenties and thirties

Lutfi Mohamed fled Syria and eventually made his way to New York.

“Food is an incredible way to bring people together,” said Mike, who is also a member of the Refugee and Immigration Committee. “It speaks across cultures.” Rabbinic fellow

Tess and the committee are continuing to brainstorm new ways to build community. Ideas include a wine and cheese tasting, Shabbat dinners on the roof, and game night.

To get involved with the twenties and thirties group, check www.bj.org/20s30s for upcoming events, or join the group’s Facebook page.

B’nai Jeshurun SANCTUARY: 257 West 88th Street

RABBIS: J. Rolando Matalon • Felicia L. Sol • Marcelo R. Bronstein

OFFICE: 270 West 89th Street, New York, NY 10024-1705

HAZZAN: Ari Priven

TEL: 212-787-7600

BJ RABBINIC FELLOWS: Sarah Krinsky • Tobias Divack Moss

www.bj.org

EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR: Colin A. Weil

facebook.com/bnai.jeshurun | twitter.com/bjnyc | instagram.com/bj_nyc

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