The Girls' Guides

Plus extracts from The Girl’s Guide to Being a Boss and The Girl’s Guide to being a Working Mum

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The Girl’s Guide to Kicking Your Career into Gear Valuable Lessons and Smart Suggestions for Making Your Work Life Work for You Caitlin Friedman and Kimberly Yorio

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uess what? If you’re not looking out for your career, then nobody is. If you want to be passionate about what you do, committed to the changes you make, and successful, then you must take control of your professional destiny. Only you can determine who you are, what you can do, and where you want to go. This chapter will hold your hand while you step back and evaluate where you started, where you are on the career path today, how you got there, and most important, where you want to be tomorrow. We will ask you to ask yourself the tough questions: What does success mean for you? Are your fears holding you back? Is your job still working for you? Where did you envision yourself at this point? What kind of employee or manager are you? By diving deep into what motivates you professionally and reading the stories of women who have taken charge of their own careers, you will be armed with a better understanding of yourself and able to take that first step on the road to changing your life.

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Being the girl who makes it happen We wrote this book for every woman out there who knows she can do more and wants to tackle the challenge. If you are stuck in your career, frustrated with your position within a company, or bored with the professional path you have chosen, then it is time to change your thinking. Start with a simple question: At the end of your life are you going to be proud of the extraordinary amount of time you have spent on this work?

If you’ve answered ‘yes’, then use this book to get you to the next level by learning the skills to ask for what you deserve and confront your challenges head-on. But if you’ve answered ‘no’, then use this book to figure out what’s missing—and what you need to do to take charge of your work life. If you’ve got into the habit of writing a negative script for yourself, we’ll work on the rewrite. Don’t accept that you are the girl who never gets what she wants. Instead, become the girl who makes it happen for herself.

Think about this. According to a study done by the National Sleep Foundation, the average American spends 46 hours per week at work; in the United Kingdom, the Office of National Statistics reckons the average is 39.5 hours per week. We’d bet it’s actually higher than that, especially with inventions like the BlackBerry. And 46 hours plus is a lot of time. Since the majority of our waking hours are spent working, we had better like what we’re doing. The more we like what we do, the more energy we’ll be able to devote to doing it well. The key to finding happiness in what you do is in accepting who you are and what you want from your work life. Comparing your path to others’ won’t get you anywhere because your skills, values, personality, responsibilities, and even your location are all unique factors that will affect the trajectory of your career. If you’re frustrated with where you are right now, then finding the answers to what you should do about it starts from looking within.

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Defining your own success Over the last few years, we’ve asked hundreds of women to define success. For the women just starting out, success was most often a title above their peers, and the income to match. Many women in the middle of their careers felt successful if they had jobs that enabled them the flexibility they needed to be successful working mothers. And women late in their careers defined success as loving what they were doing professionally.

Wherever you are now, being aware of what success is to YOU will help motivate you to achieve the kind of career that is fulfilling and challenging and pays what you want, too. Being aware of your goal will also help you create your action plan.

Here are a few factors to consider when you’re trying to define what success looks like.

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Is making big money a priority? If so, what are you willing to sacrifice for that money? If you sacrificed your personal life for money, would you still feel successful?

Does size matter? Are you looking to manage a big team? Are you willing to train to become a strong leader? Do you have the confidence required to manage effectively, and if not, can you fake it?

Is achieving a flexible schedule a factor in your success? If so, are you in a career that makes that possible?

Does working part-time define success? Are you able to do that at the moment?

Would you feel successful having a job that required you to travel?

If you could just clock-in and clock-out with no residual stress, would that feel like success to you?

Does it come down to being passionate about what you do professionally?

Would you feel successful if you were working at a non-profit organisation?

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The Girl’s Guide to Being a Boss Valuable lessons and smart suggestions for making the most of managing

Caitlin Friedman and Kimberly Yorio

A & C Black

London

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You’re a Big Girl Now: From Just Another Employee to Chick in Charge

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K. So you’re the boss now.

The supervisor. The manager.

The captain. The taskmaster.

Those days of taking orders, running errands, and clock-watching are over forever. At last, you get to call the shots.

As exciting as all this might seem, once the rush of the promotion is over, you might be scratching your head wondering exactly what your new responsibility entails. Many of us haven’t had positive role models and feel a little lost once we arrive at the grown-up table. Fear not. You know you can do the job; all you need is a little helpful advice to send you on your way.

Whether you manage two people as a shift manager or lord it over an entire corporate empire, we’ll help you to take the leap

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from mediocre to marvellous. And for those of you who are already running the show, we can help you to lose that nickname, ‘Bitch on Wheels’, and become the leader your employees deserve.

We’ll show you what it means to be queen: how to wield your ever-evolving bag of management tricks; how to discover what is expected of you; how to decide what you can reasonably expect of your team; and how to jump in and love every minute of your Head Honchoness. You’ve earned this, baby. Enjoy!

Good Days and Bad Days: The Good, Bad, and Ugly Aspects of Being a Manager Leading can be a daunting task. In some ways it can be positively thrilling. In others, it can be a pain in the backside. Just as the freedom, responsibility, and respect start to lift you to cloud nine, the paranoia, fear, and anxiety can bring you crashing back down to earth. Like all things, being the recognized leader can have its highs and lows. Here’s a look at the lawns on both sides of the fence.

The good Money, money, money, money, MONEY! We might be dreaming, but, if you’ve been promoted, we’d like to assume a nice pay rise came along with it. Hopefully you’ll have to struggle less to make ends meet or face your credit card bills at the end of the month. Even if the new job doesn’t mean a giant windfall, being the boss should put you in a better financial position than you were before. And, if you’re not, make sure you find out the going rate and lobby for what you deserve.

Princess of power Power is good. Making decisions that lead to positive outcomes is good. Making the calls, changing the rules, and forging decisions that may alter the course of the entire company can be great. Having the ultimate responsibility is positively thrilling.

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The bitch boss who throws her weight around, barks orders, and is generally focused on herself while making her employees miserable doesn’t have to be you. Once you settle into your new role, you’ll find that being the leader means you can be the manager who boosts employees and gets real enjoyment from watching her colleagues grow and prosper. Building a team, working together, and teaching others will be hugely gratifying.

At the end of the day, it can make you feel like a million dollars.

The more you know While mentoring your dewy protégés, you yourself will be acquiring new information and facing fresh and exciting challenges everyday. Acquired knowledge changes us and makes us better mothers, friends, and businesswomen. Growing professionally can be empowering and give you a broader perspective on both the world and your place within it. The more you know the better off you are, both intellectually and when it comes to updating your CV. Don’t forget the journey to becoming a great leader is a life-long one.

Your mum will be proud Ultimately, if you succeed, the prestige and glow of success will make all the mistakes and missteps worthwhile. There is no greater feeling in the world than a job well done.

The bad Training, anyone?

The sad reality is there’s never enough training offered to employees. Even in a company with well-established training programmes, there will be plenty of times when you just don’t know what to do. You would think that when a new person is hired she would be handed all the necessary tools to do her job effectively. Maybe the person before you fled the job or was fired, and the people who remain don’t really know what she did.

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Perhaps everyone is too busy to sit down and go through your job in detail. Whatever the reason, your training will probably consist of ‘Here’s your office. Good luck.’ It’s up to you to work out how to achieve your goals using the best resource you have – your staff.

It’s lonely at the top For all of the positive things your new role as a manager can bring, probably the scariest downside of the whole thing is the isolation you will feel as the woman at the top of the corporate ladder. You have the responsibility to make your team a success, and, if it fails, you take the blame. Gone are the days when you can be everyone’s friend. No more shuffling off to the canteen to spend an hour having a good natter about the latest episode of Desperate Housewives. When asked the biggest mistake that new managers make, 90% of the women we interviewed replied that they try to be liked. You are not there to be anyone’s friend.

You are in the leadership role to provide the tools and environment that your team needs to accomplish their goals. If the team is not accomplishing the goals, with all the appropriate support, then you, new manager, will have to reprimand and maybe dismiss team members who aren’t measuring up. The power that you gain when promoted will separate you from your team.

Keep the personal personal, and never let them see you sweat This is a tough one. No matter how bad it gets, no matter what kind of a day you’re having, you absolutely, positively cannot freak out. It doesn’t matter if your car died in the middle of the motorway on your way to work, or that you just found out your husband has been having an affair. Your personal problems should not come into the workplace. At Ann’s first job as an assistant, her boss was trying to adopt a baby. She had a special mobile phone just for potential birth mothers to call. When her

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boss was in a meeting, Ann was required to man the baby phone.

If a potential birth mother called, Ann would have to find her boss. If her boss couldn’t be disturbed, she would have to interview the potential birth mother and try to schedule a time for a return call. Ann was flattered at the amount of trust put in her by her boss, but scared to death that, if she messed up the baby phone, not only was she jeopardizing her job, she could potentially cause her boss to the lose the baby she was so desperately trying to get.

While adopting a baby was obviously the priority for her boss, it was unfair to make it the focus of Ann’s day.

The buck stops with you The team’s problems are now your problems – individually and collectively. As a matter of fact, everyone’s problems become your problems. If a member of your group has a sick child and can’t be there for the ten o’clock meeting with the biggest client, then you have to find a way to cover for her without the client ever knowing. If your top account executive loses the biggest account, and your department won’t make its numbers, then you will have to find a replacement account or shrink the team to cover the shortfall. And, at the very least, you will have to take the heat from your management. If someone on your team opens an e-mail from her boyfriend that infects your entire office with a virus, erasing all your records from the last five years, then you and the IT department have a very big problem. No more hiding until the storm blows over. It will be your responsibility to mobilize the team, board up the windows, and evacuate.

Discipline, warnings, and wielding the axe Delivering bad news is never easy; deciding to severely damage someone’s livelihood by sacking them because they can’t cut the mustard is no picnic. We’ve devoted almost an entire chapter (7) to the ‘f’ word – firing.

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The Girl’s Guide to Being a Working Mum How to be happy at work and happy at home Caitlin Friedman and Kimberly Yorio

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You’ve Got Nine Months to Get Ready. Hint: It Goes Quickly

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ongratulations. You’re pregnant or thinking about becoming pregnant. You are about to embark on the scariest and most unique nine months of your life. You’ve signed up for the pregnancy calendar and you eagerly watch the progress of your growing baby. You’ve cut down on or given up caffeine and alcohol, stopped eating runny cheeses and sushi and are busy stuffing your face with fresh vegetables and folic acid. You’ve bought every book on pregnancy and are busily scouring websites for all the news you need to know. In between all of this fun and excitement, you go to work. You, after all, are a career girl – a career girl who is also going to be a mum. You are thrilled by the prospect (and perhaps a little scared) and can’t wait to shout it from the rooftops once that third month has passed. But don’t start shouting yet.

You’ve got a lot of planning to do first.

This chapter will give you the information and strategies you

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need to successfully navigate your pregnancy. After reading chapter one, you will be armed with all the tools you need to go on a work- and worry-free maternity leave. We inform you about your rights, the options for childcare and share resources and stories that you will support you in this very scary and exhilarating time in your life.

Good luck. The next nine months are going to be a whirlwind.

First Things First, Know Your Rights This can get dense. And as with all legalese, you may just want to skip right over it. Don’t. Don’t even put it off until later. You absolutely must know your legal rights and options and here they are. All information was correct at the time of going to press, but we’ve included the relevant Web links so that you can keep up to speed with any changes.

In the UK, employers have a legal obligation to look after the health and safety of pregnant employees. They need to ensure that the pregnant person is not obliged to lift heavy loads, work in confined spaces or unsuitable workstations, work in stressful or violent environments, or be exposed to potentially harmful substances such as lead.

The Employment Rights Act of 1996 defines your legal rights in terms of ordinary maternity leave, additional maternity leave and statutory maternity pay. Part VIII is the relevant section, and you can read it online at www.opsi.gov.uk/acts/acts1996/ ukpga_19960018_en_1, but here is a summary of the most important points.

Maternity leave (ordinary) At the time of writing, as a pregnant UK employee you are entitled to a period of 26 weeks’ ordinary maternity leave, regardless of length of service to your employer. To qualify, you must tell your employer – by the end of the 15th week before the week when the birth is expected – that you are pregnant, the week you are due,

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and the date you intend to start maternity leave. You can normally start your maternity leave whenever you choose, as long as it’s no earlier than the beginning of the 11th week before the expected week of the birth.

Your employer must then inform you in writing, within 28 days of your notification, of your expected return date. However, you can change this date if you give your employer 28 days’ notice.

During maternity leave an employee is entitled to all the benefits of the terms of her normal contract (except for remuneration).

At the end of the maternity leave, she has the legal right to return to her original job. If the situation dictates that the original job is no longer available, the employer must offer a suitable alternative vacancy. If the employer cannot offer suitable alternative work, she may be entitled to redundancy pay.

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Statutory maternity pay Statutory Maternity Pay (SMP) should be paid if a woman has been employed by the same employer for a continuous period of 26 weeks or more (calculated from the 15th week before the expected week of the birth) and has average weekly earnings at least equal to the lower earnings limit for National Insurance contributions. SMP can be paid for up to 26 weeks, and is paid by the employer but partly (or, in the case of small companies, entirely) reimbursed by the state.

Additional maternity leave An employee with 26 weeks’ continuous service (calculated from the beginning of the 14th week before the expected week of the birth) is entitled to an additional 26 weeks’ maternity leave. For the duration of this period her contract of employment continues but with limited terms and conditions. This means it is possible to be away from your job on maternity leave for around 52 weeks in total. If you are eligible for additional maternity leave, your employer will assume that you will be taking it. At the end

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of additional maternity leave, as with ordinary maternity leave, you are entitled to return to your original job or, if this is not reasonably practicable, to a suitable alternative job.

According to the Sex Discrimination Act of 1975, a ‘period of legal protection’ begins when a woman becomes pregnant and ends at the end of her period of ordinary maternity leave (or her additional maternity leave if she is entitled to it) or if, earlier than this, she returns to work after her pregnancy. If she is not entitled to any maternity leave connected with the pregnancy then this protected period ends two weeks after the end of the pregnancy.

Within this protected period, a person is said to discriminate against a women if, on the grounds of her pregnancy, or the fact that she is exercising her right to take maternity leave, she is treated ‘less favourably’. This would include, for example, not getting a job or being passed up for a promotion directly because of pregnancy. This discrimination also applies if the woman is suffering from an illness as a consequence of a pregnancy.

The Sex Discrimination Act also states that employers must offer a pregnant employee not only maternity-related remuneration, but also increase-related remuneration in respect of when she is not on maternity leave (eg standard pay increase for all employees), and bonus-related remuneration if she is on compulsory maternity leave. You can read the full text of the Sex Discrimination Act here at www.opsi.gov.uk/si/si2008/ uksi_20080656_en_1.

The law can (and does!) change regularly, as do maternity pay and leave entitlements, so check regularly on the useful government website DirectGov (www.direct.gov.uk) for updates.

It can be a challenge to decipher how your employer will react to absences due to pregnancy, pregnancy-related health issues, and childbirth-related absences. If you are not aware of your rights and the laws and guidelines that are in place to protect you, you could face a maternity or parental leave that is cobbled together from sick leave, holiday entitlement or unpaid family leave. You

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do not need to do this! But meticulous planning is crucial in the early stages of your pregnancy. The goal is to set yourself up with all of the necessary information as soon as possible, so that you can make both a seamless exit and stress-free return to the workplace.

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Save Your Time, You’re Going to Need It As your pregnancy progresses, you will begin to craft a birth plan.

You’d be smart to create a maternity leave plan, too. Your goal is to maximise the paid time off and it quickly becomes a juggling act. Here are a few ways to stockpile your days:

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Schedule all doctors’ appointments for off-work hours if you can. In the UK, you are entitled to take time off for doctor’s appointments, so there’s nothing wrong in being out of the office for this very legitimate reason, but as far as possible, show your boss and the team that you’re still committed to getting your work done too. You want to demonstrate to the boss and team that your priority is still the job (even if it isn’t).

Go to work even when you’re feeling ropey – provided that you can get the job done. It’s better to show up and get something done then use up a sick day that you might need later.

Do not go to work if you feel so lousy that you can’t get your work done. Go to the doctor instead. While you may think you’re being a trooper, you may be giving your boss a reason to deal with you harshly or treat you differently due to your pregnancy.

Begin a savings plan: not for the baby’s eventual university career, but for when you are on maternity pay at home taking care of the baby. Many mums-to-be don’t realise that they can start a ‘salary sacrifice’ scheme that helps to provide to returnto-work childcare a few months down the line. For more information, visit www.childcarevouchers.co.uk.

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