BLAQUE/OUT Magazine Sept. 2023

SEPT 2023 ISSUE#036

TAMARA S. LEIGH, EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Celebrating

3yrs

of...

CONTENTS BLAQUE/OUT MAGAZINE IS A MONTHLY DIGITAL PUBLICATION CENTERED FIRMLY IN BLACK & BROWN QUEER QULTURE.

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BLAQUE/OUT FEATURES WRITERS, ARTISTS, PHOTOGRAPHERS, CREATIVES AND INFLUENCERS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD. WE ARE WORDS. WE ARE ART. WE ARE FASHION. WE ARE CULTURE. WE ARE MUSIC. WE ARE PROTEST. WE ARE WHERE BLAQUE QUEER CULTURE LIVES. FIND US ON FACEBOOK, IG, TIKTOK. TO SUBSCRIBE TO BLAQUE MAGAZINE, VISIT: HTTPS://ISSUU.COM/STORE/PUBLISHERS/BLAQUEOUTMAG/ SUBSCRIBE

FOR ADVERTISING, EMAIL ADVERTISING@BLAQUEOUTMAG.COM

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FOR SUBMISSIONS, EMAIL TAMARALEIGH@BLAQUEOUTMAG.COM

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WWW.ISSUU.COM/BLAQUEOUTMAG WWW.BLAQUEOUT.COM

CELEBRATING 3YRS OF BLAQUEOUT MAGAZINE INTERVIEWS

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LIVING IN THE LIGHT

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BIONIC MAN

JAVANNAH DAVIS

MEL HOWARD

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THIS IS NOT AN ADVERTISEMENT, ITS A PLEA

WANDERLUST

WHOSOEVER MOURNS RONI WINSTON 02

EXCLUSIVE! BLAQUEOUT FEATURE BUSINESSES

COVER DESIGN: TAMARA LEIGH ADVERTISING ACCOUNT MANAGER: DOREEN SCANLAN

09. BE YOU DO YOU COACHING 25. SPENZ MEDIA LLC 30. ROCHELLE J. PHOTOGRAPHY

SEPT 2023 | ISSUE# 036

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GET MORE OF THE BLAQUE/OUT YOU KNOW & LOVE

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BlaqueOUT columnists

Benjamin Griffin III; (he/ him/his). Enjoys bringing laughter to those he encounters and a major collector of Diecast School Bus models. In addition, he has a heart for education & children!

Lastly, he is 1 half of "A Moment w/ The Griffins"

Javannah J. Davis (she/her) resides in Rochester, NY where she has worked in healthcare for 19 years, is a self-published author, Founder/President of W.A.V.E Women Inc & CEO/Owner of Linjé Enterprises LLC. Javannah is passionate about healing, self-love, self actualization & helping others to live the best of their lives in a healthy way.

Lade Breez (He/Her/Them) is an award winning 3x published author, publisher, philanthropist, humanitarian, motivational speaker, life coach, event host, youth tutor, artist developer & spoken word artist. Owner & founder of Express Me Poetry Business Services & Events, & Educated Blessyns LLC, improving this world one stage at a time. ExpressMePoetry.com

E.L. Winston of Fayetteville, NC (He,Him, His) Trans Community Advocate, Co-Founder of Lambda Gamma Omega Nu Fraternity. Just your everyday introspective old man and 1 half of Team Winston

Immani Love, (she/her) A Lesbian Erotic Poet, Author, Ordained Minister, Freelance Writer, Real Estate Agent, and overall witty, seductress with the voice of a Siren. An educated Vixen in sunny St. Pete, Florida.

Roni Winston aka The Mrs. aka Pastor Roni (She/Her/Hers) Fayettevlle, NC. Minister, educator, entrepreneur, couples' coach, writer, mom, and grandma.

Half of Team Winston.

Mel Howard (he/him) Resides in Newport News, Virginia where he worked in finance industry for over 5years, is a columnists for BlaqueOUT Magazine and Founder/President of THRIVING TRANSMEN OF COLOR. Mel is passionate about community, self acceptance and forgiveness.

Tina Marie Jones (she/her/hers) Founder of Uncover, LLC, mother of 4, activist, motivator, and columnist.

David Maurice Griffin (He, Him, His) Columbia, SC; Providing the gift of massage is what he does, but spreading awareness of HIV/AIDS is who he is…1 half of "A Moment w/ The Griffins"

Courtney L (she/her) designer, developer, business owner, who loves to travel. When she is not doing that she loves to write poetry, a bit of a nerd, spend time with family and friends and help people learn technology. She lives in Los Angeles, with her dog.

IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE THAT IT'S BEEN 3YRS...36 ISSUES, 36 COVERS,

FOR THE SPONSORS AND SUBSCRIBERS AND EACH AND EVERY

COUNTLESS ARTICLES AND 1,095 DAYS SINCE WE STARTED THIS

SINGLE READER- THANK YOU.

THING CALLED BLAQUE/OUT MAGAZINE. REFLECTING ON IT ALL,

BUT ABOVE ALL ELSE I HAVE TO THANK OUR WRITERS. FROM DAY 1,

ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS THE PEOPLE THAT HAVE MADE IT THE

PEOPLE TRUSTED ME TO DO THIS THING WITH INTEGRITY. THEY

LIVING, BREATHING, ACTING ART OF CULTURE THAT IT IS TODAY.

TRUSTED ME WHEN THERE WAS NO BUDGET TO PAY THEM. THEY TRUSTED

FOR ALL THE PEOPLE THAT ALLOWED US TO TELL THEIR STORIES. FOR ALL THE LOVED ONES THAT TRUSTED US WITH THE MEMORY OF THEIR FAMILY & FRIENDS. FOR THE ARTISTS THAT TRUSTED US WITH THEIR TALENT.

ME WHEN THEY HAD TO WRITE EXTRA ARTICLES TO FILL THE PAGES AND THEY TRUSTED ME WHEN THEY WERE WRITING AND NO ONE WAS READING. THE TRUSTED ME WITH THEIR WORDS, THEIR TIME AND THEIR SOULS. BECAUSE THEY WOULD BEAR THEIR SOULS EACH AND EVERY MONTH ON THESE PAGES. WE WOULDN'T EXIST WITHOUT OUR WRITERS TODAY AND EVERY WRITER THAT HAS EVER GRACED OUR PAGES, IF IT WAS ONCE

FOR THE CREATIVES, VISIONARIES, ACTIVISTS AND

OR 36 TIMES. THERE AREN'T WORDS BIG ENOUGH TO EXPRESS HOW

CHANGEMAKERS WHO TRUSTED US WITH THEIR VISIONS- THANK

GRATEFUL I AM & COULDN'T BE A BUDGET LARGE ENOUGH TO

YOU.

COMPENSATE FOR IT.

Thank You,

a word.

Tamara Sanaa Leigh Editor-In-Chief

Celebrating 3yrs

Florida

Unable to be broken Unable to weaken Solid as they come.

Social programming is irreverent to me.

Boxes meant for me were obsolete.

I test the structures for gender and society.

Those requirements are weak.

I think outside of the normal.

No longer the right or wrong gender expression but a hello, goodbye.

I am who I am, and like who I like today, tomorrow, and the next day type of guy.

I am a Thriving Transman of Color Who I was before him was often silenced.

That narrative of me was far beyond broken and never restored but no longer needed.

It was accepted at the time but other options did not exist.

I look back on my previous years like oh baby you survived all that and you were able to thrive.

I count my blessings because not everyone makes it to just survive.

I hold my personal expectations higher I know what it means to be a TTMOC Monarch.

I test the laws of nature because those terms do not suit me, they limit me.

I embrace my queerness because it sets me free.

Oh how unrestricted I feel to be me.

Authenticity so unapologetic it scares the cis world.

I read my hate mail and smile.

I know they fear how woke I am.

I send thank you letters to the oppressors.

They helped liberate me I send flowers to those who couldn't make it to see the rainbow at the end of a gloomy day.

See I have been touched and healed from what a man should be No longer a woman, not quite the society choice but renewed.

Set free by the bounds of gender Totally set free from the normal I came alive when I stopped playing by the rules.

With all the views of what a man is, what a woman does, who I was allowed to be.

Now that I am me I am able to be free.

Faster, stronger, bolder than the old self that could not live.

Alive and brighter than ever before aint no stopping me.

Complex, torn, every conquest making me feel more Alpha Than men raised by other cisgender men Completely self made unbound by rules of everyone else.

MEL HOWARD

COACHING

BE YOU DO YOU

FEATURE BUSINESS

SAM V CASTLE

BEYOUDOYOU_1

BEYOUDOYOUCOACHING.COM

SAM CASTLE B E H A V I O R A L

H E A L T H

P R O F E S S I O N A L

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Goal Setting and Accountability - Join interactive workshops led by Sam Castle, focused on personal development and self-improvement. These workshops cover various topics such as self-confidence, self-care, goal setting, and creating positive habits.

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NEW YORK

Living in the

Writer: Javannah J. Davis Javannah Jasmeen Jjasmeend20 www.wavewomeninc.com

Flashback Series…

September 2020

“Church hurt in the LGBTIA community“ interview w/Malik McFarley Growing up in a faith-based community or a family rooted in religion can be restrictive for the average individual; granted being voluntary or involuntary. However, for an individual who is LGBTQ+ growing up in such an environment can be more than restrictive, it can turn out to be a significantly traumatic situation. Growing up LGBTQ+ in the church, I was always taught to love the sinner, but hate the sin. The issue with that is that it can translate to a young queer boy or girl developing into their own feelings and emotions that there’s a part of themselves that they should hate. Organized religion teaches us everything that’s wrong with being “different” and that it’s either follow their lead or be lost to eternal hell fire. This is not entirely true, and is not the case. Just because you identify as whomever under the LGBTQ+ umbrella that doesn’t mean that you have to choose between your Identity and Spirituality.

Malik L. McFarley

Faith is the foundation of the lives of many people throughout the world, offering guidance and support during times of a variety of struggles one may experience during their lifetime. It can also be an intricate part of one's own mental well-being. Individuals in the LGBTQ+ community is no exception! Oftentimes faith may be complex in the case of non-affirming religious beliefs or a sense of possible rejection from spiritual communities. Spirituality and religion can still be integral to the lives of individuals in the LGBTQ+ community.

I want to introduce Bishop Malik L. McFarley. He is a well known pastor in the LGBTQ+ community, and has himself grown up in the church and have felt the hindrance of organized religion. Bishop Malik has opted to share his story and answer a few questions in regards to his journey of self-acceptance and his growth as a community leader.

Javannah: Tell us about yourself as a clergyman?

Malik: Well, I have been preaching since the age of 14 years old. I was ordained and installed as a Pastor at 20 years old in 2011 and started a second location at 21 year old in 2012.

Javannah: What faith or religion were you raised in?

Malik: I grew up in a very Pentecostal/Apostolic and “holiness” religion being raised by my great-grandmothers and grandmothers growing up.

Javannah: What were your experiences being raised under such a regimented faith-based system?

Malik: My experiences growing up in church was a mixture of good as well as bad. My grandparents raised me in the “Pentecostal” church but I ventured out as I got older to go to more “contemporary” ministries and churches. Ministries that were “melting pots” with many different races and cultures and backgrounds.

NEW YORK

Living in the

Writer: Javannah J. Davis Javannah Jasmeen Jjasmeend20 www.wavewomeninc.com

Flashback Series…

September 2020

“Church hurt in the LGBTIA community“ interview w/Malik McFarley Javannah: How did growing up in the church affect you as a gay man?

Malik: Growing up in the church affected me as a gay man because in the first 4 years after graduating high school, until me coming out at 22, I had to keep my sexuality a secret. Any relationship that I had did not have any real significance because I had not fully come to that truth about myself. The church would have ostracized me and at that point in my life I wasn’t ready mentally or emotionally to go through that scandal and drama that I KNEW the church would quickly bestow and put upon me. coming out can definitely be a challenge to one's faith; what they were raised to believe seems somewhat contradictory to how a person may feel on the inside especially in the black church community. Suicide is a big problem to those.

Javannah: Has your sexuality and religious beliefs caused a disconnect between you and your family?

Malik: Yes, in the beginning it did bring about a disconnect with me and my family. Throughout the years I built enough courage and bravery to let them know that if you cannot accept me for who I am, then I can no longer let you have access to my life or my husbands as well. As well as our union together.

Javannah: How does religion play apart in your marriage?

Malik: For my marriage, we are very more spiritual than anything. God is the focal point and foundation that we have built upon in our journey and in our marriage. I personally believe that it is with the help of God that has kept us married this long.

Javannah: Have you ever been deterred from going to church based on personal feelings?

Malik: No, my experiences never kept me from going to church. However, it did keep me mentally in a place of not knowing my worth as a person; not knowing who “Malik” really was at the time. At that time I was living for “people” and not myself while thinking that God approved of it at the same time because the people approved of me.

Javannah: Have you ever felt a sense of losing faith due to rejection from the church, and do you believe that there can be a negative impact on individuals in the LGBTQ+ community because of the potential rejection they may experience?

Malik: For me personally no I didn’t have a loss in faith because of the negativity of the church as a gay man, but I do believe that there are a majority of those in the LGBTQ+ community that do loose faith and totally turn away from church because of the harsh judgement the church brings on them and how the church treats them .

Javannah: Have you experienced a sense of rejection from your religious community? If so, how did you cope?

Malik: Yes, I definitely experienced very harsh rejection from the religious community that I was a part of. I coped by understanding that just because you are rejected by man, does not mean that God rejects you. God accepts you who you are and loves me the way I am as well.

Javannah: Do you consider yourself Religious or Spiritual or both?

Malik: I definitely consider myself spiritual in the place in life that I’m in right now. I was very religious for almost more than half of my life and I saw the many negative and difficult places and positions that it put individuals through.

I am spiritual because I can have a better connection with God without having all of the religious “dogma” that religion provides.

NEW YORK

Living in the

Writer: Javannah J. Davis Javannah Jasmeen Jjasmeend20 www.wavewomeninc.com

Flashback Series…

September 2020

“Church hurt in the LGBTIA community“ interview w/Malik McFarley Javannah: Do you feel there’s a significant difference between being religious and being spiritual?

Malik: Yes, I do believe that there is a very significant difference being religious and spiritual. Religion to me is man made to try to understand God in a humanistic way. Being spiritual is trying to understand God in a spiritual way and having a connection with the God of your understanding.

Javannah: Has there ever been a time where you’ve lost faith in your religion?

Malik: The only time where I felt like I had almost lost faith was during the time before coming out. Having mental conflicts in my mind about how I thought God wanted me to be and how I truly felt on the inside.

Javannah: How important is religion to you?

Malik: I believe that my “relationship” with the creator is what’s most important to me. It’s a deeper and more intimate experience I believe than any religion can offer me. What is important for me as a person is that I want to see people learn to unconditionally LOVE individuals for who they are. I believe that everyone is deserving of love and acceptance in this world; no matter what you may agree or disagree with in a person's life. I’ve always wanted to be seen as a person that creates change and a person that brings more inclusivity in our world. Actually the rejection from the church caused me to work even harder for these goals.

Javannah: Can religion and/or spirituality contribute to a greater positive mental well being for those in the LGBTQ+ community who seek for it to be?

Malik: Yes I feel that any form of spirituality especially being done inclusively can definitely be a great benefit for the LGBTQ+ community. It would give the community a sense of “belonging” to something bigger than themselves and the affirmation it could bring for a greater change in the community.

Javannah: So on the flip side, have you felt rejection from individuals in the LGBTQ+ community because of your religious beliefs?

Malik: It has been a very “bittersweet” experience with the LGBT community as far as being rejected for my religious beliefs. Some accepted and some have rejected my beliefs because of what religion has done to them in the past in their lives; because of the “negative” side of religion that they may have come from. Many of them either reject it fully or many people are still confused because they still feel like being a part of the LGBT community will still send them to hell which I do not believe at all.

Javannah: A benefit to having some sort of faith-based foundation can help us find answers that may concern us about death, loss, and the meaning of life itself. Without this benefit do you think a person can find themselves questioning life’s basic fundamentals that could teach us how to navigate through life?

Malik: I do believe that it can be very difficult in our lives if we don’t have that faith that things are going to be alright.

Everyone needs that peace that passes all understanding in their lives which includes a spiritual connection with their “higher power” so that they can have strength and courage to live another day.

Javannah: Do you feel the church could be a guiding force in the LGBTQ+ community if they were more inclusive of these individuals?

NEW YORK

Living in the

Writer: Javannah J. Davis Javannah Jasmeen Jjasmeend20 www.wavewomeninc.com

Flashback Series…

September 2020

“Church hurt in the LGBTIA community“ interview w/Malik McFarley Malik: Yes, absolutely. The church could be a powerful guiding force in the LGBTQ+ community if they were to learn to be more inclusive and affirming in their ministries than they are now. Many great things can happen from that.

Javannah: Has the recent pandemic affected the way you attend church?

Malik: At the moment during COVID-19 I mostly worship at home during this time. Before I fellowshipped with more affirming and inclusive churches throughout my city on a frequent basis.

Javannah: Are there many local places of worship that are LGBTQ+ friendly?

Malik: There are many inclusive and affirming churches throughout the US in different cities and towns that are accepting of the LGBTQ+ community and who embrace their sexuality and/or gender.

Remember lovies, you don't have to make a choice between your religion and your sexuality or gender identity. It's always possible to find affirming and accepting spiritual communities that can provide validation, support, and a basis for good mental, emotional, and spiritual health.

With love, this is your girl Javannah saying, “be good to you!”

Celebrating 3yrs

NewYork

Community activist, Javannah Davis, is a phenomenal woman of color operating in her powers out of Rochester, New York. Javannah has been spreading her magic as a Healthcare professional with over twenty years of hard work and dedication to the cause. Javannah branching her expertise into other arenas that still cater to the community, also created multiple businesses to continue assisting in the survival health of the community and culture of the LGBTQIA community.

From starting out as a medical office assistant to recently obtaining her credentials as a Licensed Practical Nurse (LPN) currently preparing to take her boards, Javannah had a lot to share with BlaqueOut Magazine about her experiences and journey.

Javannah’s passion for helping others and her “Get it Done” drive has certainly paved ways in assisting in the needs of others professionally and personally.

Q: “As far as pronouns go, how do you identify yourself in the LGBTQIA community?

A: My pronouns are she/her and I identify as a Black woman of Trans-experience. I won't negate my experience but I’ve been here…” As we shared a great laugh out loud moment, she continued, “I don’t carry the title of “Transwoman” because it’s not my thing, my transition is done, i am who i’ve always been and this is it. I have arrived and am living my best life! My mom loves me so I don't care what you say.”

Q: How do you feel about the current standing in the LGBTQIA community as the different laws pass, and we are facing so much adversity within our community, how are you feeling about it in its present state?

A: “I feel heavy. It’s heavy because despite what I feel personally about my own journey, I

know everyone’s journey isn’t the same. Being in healthcare for so long and loving the work I do as an advocate and activist, it’s very heavy; For a brief moment as she opened up more about it, she became a little emotional as she continued, “besides the laws and ignorance you see on social media, I had a little bit of a breakdown about it a few weeks ago. It hurts a lot… I'm getting emotional just talking about it…

It’s scary, it’s unnecessary, and that’s for every member of the LGBTQIA community that’s going through their own individual journeys.

Having to face these deficits within our society that are so oppressive and so restrictive; especially when you’re Black and Brown. Our history shows that Black and Brown have always been the butt of everything; pushed aside and dragged and just adding a little more spice to it being LGBTQIA makes it 10x worse.

And I see how it affects people and it's very heavy and the only thing that can change this is our unity and the power of the vote. We have to keep pushing and staying unified; even if you feel like there’s no point; Keep Pushing” Q: If you were to be able to advise a group of younger Trans associates, how would you inspire them to go into the health field and do you think it would be necessary to have people who operate like us, in that field?

A: “Absolutely, because healing comes with seeing that diversity and knowing there’s someone there who understands what you’re going through in that moment. So me walking in and seeing me or someone else walking in and seeing themselves, they are more comfortable; you're more at ease, your heartbeat stabilizes, your anxiety kinda calms…

So having us in those fields, and i’m so proud I graduated alongside of another Black woman of Trans experience, and we are standing in this change and showing others you can do it too,

you don’t have to be that stereotype, or you don’t have to conform to a way of life that society says that you can only conform to, to make a living or make something out of yourself. There’s more out there than sex work… sex work is work, you do what you need to do to survive, there’s is no judgement here; getcho paper, but at the same time, just know there are other avenues and other opportunities if you open yourself up to someone who could guide you.”

Q: What was it that made you get into nursing in the first place; and what is your end goal in that profession? And is that the only space you’re operating in? (As we share a cleansing laugh.)

A: Yes, I wear many hats! Outside of healthcare and nursing, I’ve run a 501c3, Wave Women Inc. or W.A.V.E (Women Appropriating Visibility and Empowerment) for 3 years; A four time self published Author of, “The Road Home, Chronicles of Queen Marceline, Our Daily Bread, Love Languages of a Black Woman of Transition and I’m currently working on my personal story; I own Linjé Supreme Cleaning Services, I’m a Columnist for BlaqueOut Magazine, I own a homecare business in support of Black and Brown people, Linjé Enterprises LLC and I’m a Bedroom Kandi Consultant. So I just want to do things that make people’s lives easier. I want to leave this world a little better than I found it. I think that drive comes from the fact that I have been given a lot of privilege in my transition; and when I say privilege, I mean blessings… I've never had to “come out”, I've never had to explain myself to anyone in my circle; even my momma said, “I thought you would have done that in middle school, you’ve always been a daughter”.. So by those privileges I know that there comes a responsibility, and when the Lord touches you in such a way, you can't be selfish with you, you have to pay it forward.

And that's my drive. As far as healthcare, I’ve always wanted to be a doctor, but growing up I was discouraged to be a doctor because I was always told my grades weren’t good enough,

and I let that deter me; but I was determined to be in healthcare because I felt like a healer. I was the one going to get bandaids and alcohol when someone got hurt outside; then when my grandmother got sick, and I got more into her health, and helped take care of her, it was just on from there…

Q: Have you faced any adversities being a Black woman in this space? Any uphill battles in your profession?

A: It's going to sound weird, but not really; and I think that comes from my confidence, or walking into places and knowing I deserve to be there and I think that energy reflects onto others. It’s not to say I don't notice little underhanded things or little slick things. Little things that my discernment tells me to look out for so I know to divert to another direction. I’ve trusted my discernment, I’ve trusted my intuition, “not all the time in my relationships” (we both laughed out loud about that) but in my profession, when it came to my paper, i was very trusting in my discernment; so I don't feel like i've ever been stopped because i’m Trans, or you can’t come in here, or overlooked because of it, and if i did, i would addressed it directly, so i honestly can’t say there’s been an instance where i've been rejected because of my Trans experience.

Q: How did you get involved in BlaqueOut Magazine? How did you become one of the columnists?

A: I remember when Tam was living here or I think she was, and she said something to me about wanting to start a magazine. At the time Tam worked with the “Out Alliance” and did “the Empty Closet”, so she decided to start putting together this new magazine. I said cool, I told her to come on with it… she asked me if i wanted to be one of the writers and i was like, sure!… I always got something to say; and it started from there… and the rest is history, I've been doing it every month since.

Q: So what makes BlaqueOut special to You?

A: “To be able to give a voice to the voiceless”.. This magazine is special to me because it allows people who feel they don't have a voice, to have a voice and be heard.

That is so important in this climate right now… to allow people to be their authentic selves in a way where other places would have rejected them or have them to wash over who they were, and water it down… We can open up and be ourselves in our community… Just to see this magazine give back so much when that’s my passion- It’s liberating… it's a breath of fresh air…. I love what it has done for so many people… It’s beautiful to me… Just to see this magazine give back, it is an amazing creation!

Q: So if you had to pick one, do you have a favorite article in the magazine?

A: Everyone is awesome, and I love everyone’s article… but my article with T.S Madison was so special to me because I love T.S Madison so much… for me to be able to meet and interview T.S Madison and create that article, it was a full circle moment for me… i love her heart and how she carries herself. I love her from a spiritual place. I love everyone’s articles and I look forward to reading the magazine every month!

Q: With you being open about how necessary the magazine is, what message would you have for our Editor of BlaqueOut to keep going in this space?

A: What i will always say to her, no matter how difficult it gets, no matter how much you may feel like it's not going where you want it to go, IT IS.. you have to keep pushing it forward, you have to keep working at it and what you are doing is making a huge difference; it’s more important than meets the eye.

As we closed out our meeting, Javannah informed us about how to access her services online at www.WaveWomenInc.com; or BlaqueOut Magazine and from there you can be directed to her services and her books. In her parting message when asked; “What would be your last words of encouragement for anyone who doubts themselves, or is questioning themselves?”

Her response was, “Your potential transcends your circumstances.

Believe in yourself no matter what you are going through, it won't last always; instead, always believe in yourself. “ What a powerful and impactful statement to close out an amazing conversation, with an amazing representation for the culture. Thank you so much for your time Javannah; it was an absolute pleasure conversing with such a heart.

Javannah Davis Is the only writer to have contributed In all 36 Issues since the birth of Blaque/OUT Magazine.

Javannah writes, “Living In The Light”, “Queer Revolutionaries” and has Interviewed countless folks In print and in video for Blaque/OUT TV, Including the Incomparable, TS Madison and the Deputy Director of LGBTQ+ Affairs for the State of New York, Chanel Lopez.

THIS IS NOT AN ADVERTISEMENT, ITS A PLEA Immani Love

D

o you work early mornings, late nights, weekends, holidays, and no days off?

Do you battle with feeling guilty if you take a day off, even if you’re sick? Are you constantly missing family functions because you’re working? Has it been years since you took a vacation? Congratulations…You must be a small business owner! Now compound that…are you a minority? A woman? LGBTQ+? Well that just made your business even harder to support but you still do it. You do it because it’s your passion, because you want to serve your community, because you’re really good at what you do and you want to make it your livelihood. You want to provide a service or product that makes life easier for someone or gives them something they can’t do for themselves. So although this article isn’t an advertisement, it’s a plea to support a few of these businesses that I am happy to support and I hope that you take the opportunity to do so as well.

The first business I’d like to highlight is my roommate because not only is she an amazing, award winning, massage therapist here in St. Petersburg, Fl., your support of her business also supports our household.

LOL The Body Mechanic Massage Therapy (www.TheBodyMechanicFL.com) offers a wide array of massage services from relaxation including an amazing 4-hand massage to lymphatic drainage, fibrosis and other post op massages. She offers additional services including chair massages for your corporate event or private party. You can opt to visit her beautiful studio in Downtown St. Pete or treat yourself to a mobile massage in your home, office, hotel, or even on the beach! With over 13 years experience and several specialized certifications, Gennell “Nelli” Grant has helped people with their holistic healing by allowing her talent and passion speak through her “magical hands.” Do yourself a favor and add this LGBTQ small business to your list of companies for your personal health and self-care routine regiment. As she often says, “It’s better to prevent it than to fix it! So let the Body Mechanic get your body in tune.”

Next in line, something for the sweet tooth! Design A Delight (www.designadelight.com) is a treat for several senses. The delicious, artistic, and creative masterpieces of indulgence that Angelique Davis creates are not only to be marveled at but enjoyed slowly and with intention. Her flavor palette is unmatched and her eye for detail brings your imagination to life with cakes, pastries, and various treats for any occasion. From children’s birthday cakes, to specialty cakes designed to realize your most outrageous idea concept. Do you really love oysters?

Want a cake that looks like oysters on the half shell?

She’s got you! Love Air Jordan? She’s got a cake for that too! Want something a little more sophisticated?

Elegant tiered cakes surrounded by decadent cupcakes straight out of the Bridal magazines.

She even makes boozy treats for those who want an added “spirit" to their desserts. This hard working woman has been Designing A Delight for over 5 years and is sure to satisfy your craving for rich, exotic dessert creations. Make this LGBTQ small business your go to for all things sweet.

Angelique Is now serving the DC/Maryland/Virginia area and the Tampa Bay area for special requests.

Finally, Adrien Julious-Butler and her wife, Ashley “AB” Butler, are the co owners of a 410 Ice Cold Air Discount Auto Repair franchise (www.icecoldair.com) at 410 S. Dale Mabry Hwy in Tampa, FL and have been serving their community for over 17 years with stellar customer service, honest repairs, and reasonable prices. They have become well known not only for their community events for back to school or holiday food drives but for their inspirational messages on their street sign encouraging those passing by to be kind to one another or to love themselves. These women are dedicated to making sure that their customers receive quality work with talented professionals that actually love what they do and where they work because they are treated like family in every aspect of the word. Their infectious smiles and genuine heartfelt greetings are a rarity in the vehicle repair industry not to mention the passion for excellence that has made them an award winning small business that happens to also be another LGBTQ small business that deserves your support.

As I said in the beginning, owning a small business is challenging enough for the average person but for an LGBTQ Person of Color that has the determination and discipline to start a business there’s an added layer of effort required to succeed. It takes harder work, it takes thicker skin, it takes the patience of a saint and it takes belief not only in yourself and what you have to offer to the world but in the world itself to support your vision. It takes people around you to understand that when you can’t make it to that family function, or that party or even why you’re working through that migraine and back ache it’s not because you don’t want to be there, it’s because this small business is not just work, it’s a labor of LOVE and it needs support. It need support from that family, support from those friends, and support from you, but like I said, this is not an advertisement, it’s a plea. Support LGBTQ small businesses even if it’s just by spreading the word like I just did.

(Who also happens to be a small business herself! Licensed Real Estate agent, Freelance Writer, and small business consultant. So feel free to support me too!)

Celebrating 3yrs

Florida

AS BLAQUE/OUT GOES INTO ITS THIRD YEAR, THE WRITERS HAD THE PLEASURE OF INTERVIEWING ONE ANOTHER AND I HAD THE PLEASURE OF SITTING DOWN WITH THE WORLD TRAVELER, IMMANI LOVE. SHE AND I MAY NOT AGREE ACROSS THE FOOTBALL FIELD AS SHE’S A PHIADELPHIAN WHO IS LOYAL TO THE EAGLES AND I’M A CHICAGOAN LOVING THE BEARS, BUT SHE STILL HAS AN INTERESTING LIFE TO SHARE. EW: IL:

WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT PROFESSION? I AM AN EROTIC POET, REAL ESTATE AGENT, AND BUSINESS CONSULTANT.

EW: IL:

WHAT IS YOUR DREAM JOB? I’M DOING IT. I LEFT CORPORATE AMERICA TO DO THIS WORK.

EW: IL:

WHERE HAVE YOU PERFORMED? I HAVE TRAVELED THE UNITED STATES AND THE UK. I HAVE PERFORMED IN AUSTRALIA AS WELL.

EW:

YOU ARE QUITE DEDICATED TO YOUR WORK. HAVE YOU BEEN RECOGNIZED BY THE WRITING COMMUNITY? YES, I HAD THE PLEASURE OF BEING NAMED POET OF THE YEAR IN 2013 BY THE NATIONAL POET AWARDS.

IL: EW: IL:

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO ANYONE INTERESTED IN WRITING, EXOTIC OR OTHERWISE? I WOULD TELL THEM TO DO IT NOW. DON’T HESITATE. WRITE THE BOOK, THE ARTICLE, THE PLAY, WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO. DO IT NOW.

EW: IL:

HOW DID YOU BECOME INVOLVED WITH BLAQUE/OUT? TAMARA LEIGH AND I BELONG TO A GROUP AND SHE PUT OUT A CALL FOR MODELS WHO WERE COMFOR WITH POSING NUDE. THAT WAS RIGHT IN MY WHEELHOUSE, SO I RESPONDED. THE REST IS HISTORY.

EW:

WHAT MESSAGE WOULD YOU GIVE TO OUR EDITOR-INCHIEF, TAMARA LEIGH? I WOULD TELL HER NOT TO BE TOO HARD ON HERSELF, TO TAKE THE TIME FOR A BREAK, AND THAT SHE DESIGNATE TIME FOR HERSELF. TAM, YOU ARE AMAZING AND WE ALL LOVE YOU.

IL:

IT WAS AN HONOR TO INTERVIEW IMMANI. IN THE MIDST OF ALL SHE HAS DONE AND IS DOING, YOU CAN READ ONE OF HER 3 PUBLISHED WORKS: WORKPLACE, FOUR SEASONS, AND SENSUALLY SPEAKING. CHECK OUT HER MONTHLY CONTRIBUTION TO BLAQUE/OUT AND HER BUSINESS WEBSITE IMMANILOVE.COM. I’M SURE SHE HAS MANY MORE YEARS TO OFFER TO BOTH. CREATIVES LIVE TO CREATE.

California

Courtney L. The original plan was for me to go to Mexico again for about a month. If you remember, from the last article back in June, the goal was to travel visiting several cities in Mexico, as well as Colombia and Europe. Those plans of course got changed. This summer has been filled with friends and family, a couple of parties, and kickbacks. The fall will be spent traveling so let’s get started.

Hey hey hey! We’re back with travel . This one will be short and sweet and we’re going to get right in the meat!

Barsssss! But for real, I have been wanting to travel this summer and as we know, life be lifing. So I decided to take a mini break and get back to Courtney!

I didn’t get to do much traveling this summer.

I did get to visit family in Charleston, South Carolina, which was actually a great trip. I really love my family. It was over the Fourth of July weekend and it ended up being an awesome cookout and seeing a lot of them and honestly it just made my heart flutter. If anybody knows anything about me, I am very family oriented. I love my family but that being said I didn’t get to travel as much as I had hoped to this summer.

There will be a bit more domestic travels and mini road trips and I’m also hoping to get a Portugal trip out before winter. With the Beyoncé concert right around the corner in LA, maybe a party bus to Vegas for my birthday, then heading to New Orleans for a visit. Followed by Negril, Jamaica for my cousin’s milestone birthday and then Vegas again for the Usher concert. Where will I fit Portugal, well you have to keep reading to find out!

Writer: Javannah J. Davis Javannah Jasmeen Jjasmeend20

QUEER REVOLUTIONARIES

Born in Beaumont, Texas, St. James grew up surrounded by a large network of extended family.

She describes her father as “intense” with a lot of “toxic masculinity.” As a result, she relied a lot on her “favorite aunt” who encouraged St. James to explore her identity. “She supported me. She was like, ‘Baby I knew what you was gonna be before you knew what you was gonna be. I see you fighting with your sisters and your female cousins to play wonder woman. …

I was never a male character,” St. James laughs. It was her aunt who convinced St. James’ parents to put the 11-year-old into foster care abroad, giving her access to a more welcoming environment, eye-opening experiences, and freedom.

St. James is a soft-spoken visionary, full of vibrant energy. Throughout her interview, she slips easily in and out of anecdotes from her past and present, recognizing the significance of different events and relationships. She has been interviewed hundreds of times but St. James has no love of the spotlight. “I am always encouraging younger girls to step into their power, and giving a platform to other Black trans women, not just me,” she says.

Activism gave St. James her community, and she has spent her whole life pouring herself back into it.

St. James moved to Heidelberg, Germany for eight years. She traveled around Europe with her foster parents, who worked for the Department of Defense, and siblings, and says this opportunity was critical to her overcoming the transphobia and racism she faced in her early years. “I was in Germany and no one talked down to me,” she laughs. “I’m not gonna let you talk down to me.” It’s funny though — for St. James — who now looks back on this experience as a blessing. At the time, she was filled with loneliness and often wanted to return home to Texas.

Reference: https://decriminalizesex.work/hero-of-the-month-kiara-st-james/

Writer: Javannah J. Davis Javannah Jasmeen Jjasmeend20

QUEER REVOLUTIONARIES

St. James moved to New York for her partner at the time, who dreamed of finding himself in the northern metropolis.

“I never wanted to move to New York. … It was very different, it looked like it did in the movies and all those TV shows. It was grimy, it was dirty, and it was home. I found community here, but I also found a lot of trauma. I found a lot of anti-blackness.”

It was Sex work that introduced St. James to the activists that ultimately shaped her career. A friend encouraged St. James to travel to Washington, D.C. with them to demonstrate against the governments’ non-existent AIDS policy. St. James balked at first, having just worked a long night but eventually agreed to join them.

She remembers the sheer energy and joy of the demonstration; it swept her off her feet.

“People from all walks of life were there. I started meeting people, Black trans women from other states and gender-queer people.”

"The first act of resilience is to take a breath and acknowledge that we have a right to exist,” Kiara St. James told the Human Rights Campaign in a 2019 interview. St. James has been an activist for over 20 years, promoting equity-building policies in New York and beyond.

Currently, she is the co-founder and executive director of the New York Transgender Advocacy Group (https://www.nytag.org/) (NYTAG) and an international figurehead in the fight for transgender rights. Her work has largely focused on advocacy for the rights of Transgender and Gender Non-Conforming (TGNC) individuals, housing, and combating the spread of HIV/AIDS. St. James is the first to say that any policy change supporting health and safety for individuals is a step in the right direction. “You don’t need to be TGNC to see these things making sense,” St. James says. “I’ve worked on TGNC issues, needle exchange programs, advocated for a 30% rent cap, and others.” Currently, she is focusing on universal basic income to give all people, no matter their background and identity, access to basic resources.

Reference: https://decriminalizesex.work/hero-of-the-month-kiara-st-james/

MEDIA LLC.

SPENZ

FEATURE BUSINESS

ROY SPENCER VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA

Capturing timeless moments and collaborating with other creatives to make visual art through film and photography.

SPENZMEDIA.LLC

BIONIC MAN Mel Howard Unable to be broken Unable to weaken Solid as they come.

Social programming is irreverent to me.

Boxes meant for me were obsolete.

I test the structures for gender and society.

Those requirements are weak.

I think outside of the normal.

No longer the right or wrong gender expression but a hello, goodbye.

I am who I am, and like who I like today, tomorrow, and the next day type of guy.

I am a Thriving Transman of Color Who I was before him was often silenced.

That narrative of me was far beyond broken and never restored but no longer needed.

It was accepted at the time but other options did not exist.

I look back on my previous years like oh baby you survived all that and you were able to thrive.

I count my blessings because not everyone makes it to just survive.

I hold my personal expectations higher I know what it means to be a TTMOC Monarch.

I test the laws of nature because those terms do not suit me, they limit me.

I embrace my queerness because it sets me free.

Oh how unrestricted I feel to be me.

Authenticity so unapologetic it scares the cis world.

I read my hate mail and smile.

I know they fear how woke I am.

I send thank you letters to the oppressors.

They helped liberate me I send flowers to those who couldn't make it to see the rainbow at the end of a gloomy day.

See I have been touched and healed from what a man should be No longer a woman, not quite the society choice but renewed.

Set free by the bounds of gender Totally set free from the normal I came alive when I stopped playing by the rules.

With all the views of what a man is, what a woman does, who I was allowed to be.

Now that I am me I am able to be free.

Faster, stronger, bolder than the old self that could not live.

Alive and brighter than ever before aint no stopping me.

Complex, torn, every conquest making me feel more Alpha Than men raised by other cisgender men Completely self made unbound by rules of everyone else.

North Carolina

THE OLD MAN'S E.L. WINSTON CORNER It comes from never wanting to give the illinformed people the argument that I’m the ignorant, always angry Trans dude in the room and that I can’t communicate like an adult. Many of them think that testerone equals aggression, so I try to be mindful of all these things. I tried to be mindful of it, but I was triggered in a way that felt like I had been hit by a ton of bricks. I was able to express my anger in the moment, but I knew I wasn’t in a safe space to express my pain, my sadness, or my fear. This is the story for so many of us. At work, we are not allowed to have our phones, so I couldn’t call any of my safe people.

Ultimately, this required me to stuff those feelings until I was able to get to someone.

This experience reminded me why I do the work I do. It is the reason I am so Rochelle J Photography

LIKE A TON OF BRICKS In this life I've been very blessed to be surrounded by loving and affirming people and I thank the Lord for that because I know everyone doesn't have that. Recently, I was reminded that there is so much ignorance in this world that I often wonder how many of us get out of bed and go outside. I started a new job 3 months ago in a highly anti-LGBTQIA environment. Now, the job I came from was very affirming and I was there for almost 7 years. I got used to not being on the defensive and having to always be on edge. Well, I guess good things come to an end. An incident happened that set off those defense bells again though. Although what was said wasn’t directed to me or even about me, it still was about me and all my Trans siblings. Before I knew it, I had tripped out in what is supposed to be a professional setting. Before I even realized what I was saying, I had responded in a way that I would normally try to keep under wraps. Now don't get me wrong, I meant what I said and that I needed to correct these people no matter where we were. It’s just that I know I probably should have tried to stay professional in my correction of them.

passionate about standing up for my community no matter the cost. I am in the process of making myself a safe space plan so that even if I’m in a space that has triggered me I can have a place to process.

I know I need a plan for collecting my thoughts and feelings. It may just have to be the bathroom or I may need to walk out to my car. It is of vital importance for us to make space for ourselves even if it feels like there is none. It's a shame that at this time and place the right to be treated with human decency is not a usual thing. I realize now that I will have to be conscious of how people's thoughts and beliefs can harm me physically and mentally when I venture out of my square.

Y'all do an old man a favor and make sure you have a plan in place to help you be ok in the not so safe spaces and if you're able to, then stand your ground. Let these ignorant folks know what is and where they can go do that loudly, proudly, and often!!!!

Celebrating 3yrs

North Carolina

EL Winston has been a part of the Blaque/OUT family for a little over a year. His humor, honesty and willingness to share some of the most personal aspects of his life with our readers make his contribution to the magazine invaluable. We value representation above all else but also recognize that each of us are Individual souls, have unique styles and are unique translations of humanity. We love that Winston brings us stories and experiences that demonstrate his transition, his way. It forever reminds us that each of our life transitions are our own and that this Is no right or wrong way. Just life lessons and journeys of discovery to uncover our own authenticity. Thank you Winston for the laughs, the friendship and most Importantly for the way you have touched countless people through these pages!

FEATURE BUSINESS

AN JEANETTE R. CONLEY-JACKSON R O C H E L L E

J .

P H O T O G R A P H Y

FAYETTEVILLE, NC ROCHELLE JACKSON INNERSTOOD TAP

ROCHELLE J PHOTOGRAPHY

Rochelle J. Photography is a community based photography business that thrives on providing the ability for families of color to have images (family, individual) to leave as a legacy. Affordably priced Rochelle J. provides quality and an experience that is second to none. From the womb of Rochelle J. Photography, INNERstood Therapeutic Art Photography LLC was born. INNERstood, also known as ITAP, presents a therapeutic view through the lens where vision is used to change the view of past hurts and disappointments.

INNERstood = standing for the INNER you. Photography is a gift that can never be shared enough. I am truly grateful for the ability to share it with others.

ROCHELLEJPHOTOGRAPHY.COM

Celebrating 3yrs

South Carolina

St. Pete Pride & Capital Consulting Group In Partnership with. ....

MAGAZINE

TRANSCENDING HATE: NATIONAL VIRTUAL TOWN HALL

ON TRANS DAY OF REMEMBRANCE BLAQUE/OUT MAGAZINE SITS DOWN WITH COMMUNITY MEMBERS FROM ACROSS THE NATION FOR A 2-PANEL VIRTUAL EVENT DISCUSSING LIFE AS A COMMUNITY UNDER ATTACK. We honor the memories of our Trans/NB/GNC family & seek to uplift the voices of both our Incredible writers as well as Community Leaders from across the nation who deserve the ear of the world In. this crucial moment In history.

OUR PANELISTS

CORTEZ HOLMES (TX) | RONNIE ANGELIQUE GODWIN (FL) | JEVON MARTIN (TX) | YEMEYA DELACRUZ (NY) | MEL HOWARD (VA) | OCEAN RIVERA (NY) | TEE DOUGLAS (NY) | TORI COOPER (GA) | E.L. WINSTON (NC) | MX DAHLIA BELLE (OR) | OLUWADAMILARE (DC) MODERATED BY BLAQUE OUT MAGAZINE EDITOR, TAMARA LEIGH

NOV 6PM 20TH EST TO REGISTER FOR THIS FREE COMMUNITY CONVERSATION, VISIT... https://TDORTownHall.eventbrite.com

FOR MORE INFO, CONTACT:

tamaraleigh@blaqueoutmag.com

W W W . B L A Q U E O U T . C O M

we have prayed and t in their life. What happens when poin e som at loss s nce erie exp on Every pers Is it really that nothing has a situation and nothing happens? nge cha to God ed ask ve we’ ed, pray a thing in ing? Could it be that God is doing pen hap is t wha w kno ’t don we t happened or is it tha t you think It really could be that some of wha yet? it of t frui the see ’t can just our life and we ugh because it looks need to be a mourning process tho still may re The . you for t isn’ d you nee 30:11, “Thou hast turned re is a loss. The Word says in Psalm different than what we thought. The gladness.” off my sackcloth, and girded me with put t has u tho : cing dan into g for me my mournin and that God has is not to be a permanent condition g rnin mou our t tha us inds rem Thankfully, this rough. ver mourns is prepared for a breakth something planned for you. Whosoe itled to or all g this life are all that you are ent livin felt s pain the t tha t ugh tho How often have you t God hopes for we are limiting who God is and wha , way this k thin we n Whe ? erve that you des y, I felt heartbroken. . When my grandmother passed awa iate ropr app is g rnin mou for e tim r you. You her. After losing her, I and in many ways I felt lost without She was a powerful force in my life she passed it. I had 4 children to raise. Since ugh thro ned ctio fun I but , rned mou still had to live. I ildren, and a whole ted teaching, welcomed 2 grandch star ree, Deg r's helo Bac my ived away: I rece that I don’t miss her. It able to celebrate. It doesn’t mean n bee e hav I t tha gs thin er oth of host nearly cripples me. On the times when I miss her so much it doesn’t mean that there aren’t still ill in me. ors her and all that she tried to inst hon can I life t bes the g livin my flip side of that,

North Carolina

Whosoever Mourns...

- Pastor Roni

PRESTIGE BY:

from ple you, love. Take your power back Ultimately, your mourning cannot crip steps to in a weakened state. Pray for your stay to you for ires des who my the ene go for a walk; your therapist; get out of the bed; Call g. thin t nex the to red orde be ver mourns It is your breakthrough time! Whosoe color, or whatever else you can do. alone. Love, God. You are not expected to journey must surrender it at the throne of all for you. joy, grace, peace, and gladness are

PHOTO

f. You need to take the lves. You don’t need to find yoursel mse the find to d nee y the say ple Peo . There is find what life you’re meant to live and rn mou to nt mea are you es time to learn what loss en pieces, but only be showing up with your brok may You th.

Ear on here e enc pres a gift of your spot that will help a piece and let it be placed in the God Give . ugh eno are es piec en your brok the rebuild begin.

PORTRAITS

mourning, but today God is ws your losses. There is a time for kno God . pain e hav you ws kno God enveloped in God’s you to mourn. Today you get to be saying that He no longer desires for rning. Look to dance. Dance right out of that mou to e plac a find to you on ing call goodness. God is and be reminded a deep breath right where you are e Tak . help r you es com ch whi the hills from breath right where you are lost was not for you. Take a deep you t tha is g thin t tha r teve wha t tha embrace, it is the Holy lost is calling you to live. Feel that and be reminded that whomever you only experienced in living.

Spirit engulfing you with a warmth

Celebrating 3yrs

North Carolina

LIVING IN THE LIGHT: SPOTLIGHT INTERVIEW

September 2023

Roni Winston aka Pastor Roni was greatly influenced by her grandparents, Reverend Dexter Melvin and Missionary Beatrice Melvin, whom she spent childhood summers with in the pews of her grandfather’s African Methodist Episcopal congregation. The Word was exposed to her and a thirst began then to serve God. Unfortunately, the times did not recognize a woman of the Word in the AME tradition and Pastor Roni was told that a woman could not preach the gospel. God does not move with the world, so He continued to pour into her life preparing her for the time to come.

I had the pleasure of sitting down with Roni and having a heart-to-heart with her in regards to her career, ministry, and the importance of a healthy spiritual relationship. Check out the video interview on BlaqueOut Mag TV by clicking the link below.

LOVE LIVES IN US...

The Winstons Winston and the Mrs. (E. L. and Roni)

Love lives in us....the Winstons and we just want to share a little of it with you.

People say that a person can never go home again, but is that true? Is there a safe space that has changed with time and experience that you still enjoy? A place of your childhood that still brings you solace, peace, and comfort? Our memories do have the capability of bringing us to sweet, tender, and reflective experiences. Some memories we can enjoy which has us holding onto stuffed animals from our childhood or our favorite concert t-shirt from our teenage years. What if love could be like that? Can love recover after part of the relationship has been broken? Can it ever be home again?

The Mrs. When Winston and I met, I was in a relationship and he was in a situationship. We were meant to just be friends but it was like a hand to a perfectly fit glove. We couldn't deny it, but we sure tried. I was trying to hold on to a relationship that just wasn't the one for either one of us.

Winston was simultaneously trying to be 1-800-Save-A-Hoe. So Winston and I kept being friends, but we just couldn't stay that way. It was love. My relationship came to an end and the Winstons got together for the FIRST time, then we BROKE UP. I got back with the ex, she and I broke up again, then came the Winstons for the SECOND time. We weren’t done with the story though, then, we broke up AGAIN! Winston reached out just to check the temperature in the room and I cried. I had missed him so much. Around we go for the THIRD time and the rest is Love Lives history. Now this is not to say that the knucklehead you keep breaking up with and getting back together with is your forever.

But look at every situation and encounter on its merits. Just like those childhood memories, by the time we reached round 3, the Winstons were different. I had finally grown into my own and realized that almost the right thing is not good enough. I wanted THE real thing. If we had believed you can't go home again (that place of solace, peace, and comfort), then we might have missed our love story.

We changed, we grew, and Winston took a chance on me. A willingness to revisit this particular relationship made the now possible. I wasn't the right person, I didn't deserve him, and I had more than a few things I needed to work on when Winston and I met. We were magic each time we got together though, so it wasn't that we weren't good together or for each other. Thank goodness he gave me the time and space, so we could land here.

Winston They say 3 times the charm and I tend to agree. Don't misunderstand me though. It took a lot of thought and prayer to go for that 3rd round. There had to be some uncomfortable conversations, some boundaries established and accountability taken. It all had to be put in place for us both before we could revisit that old thing.

It had felt so warm and fuzzy in the beginning, but we had to spend some time working through it.

Sometimes going backwards is the thing you need to do to go forward. This beautiful life we share would not be possible if we had ignored our whole past together, not just the break ups but the thing that pulled us together in the first place. It made me want to figure out what we needed to do to make this thing work. It made me want to know what we were willing to do to make a happy, healthy future. It made me want to explore what parts of those past memories we needed to build on and what parts we needed to let go of in order to achieve what we ultimately wanted.

Now, like the Mrs. said, some things with some people are not what you want to revisit and I believe you'll know the difference in your core. You'll know if this situation is worth seeing if you should get that warm and fuzzy back.

LOL

Thoughts to Leave You We definitely know our story is not everyone’s because everyone is not willing to do their own work. We were. We meant enough to each other that we were willing to go through the tough stuff as individuals, have the hard conversations with each other, and make amends with others.

Part of what made these choices, actions, and decisions worth it was that it was rooted in love. We were not abusive, selfish, or toxic.

The relationship you missed out on because you weren’t ready for it may not come back to you. You may do the work on yourself that your ex brought up to you continuously and that relationship still will not happen again.

Ultimately, doing the work and facing who you are are about creating the space for the love you need and deserve.

Love lives in you, just give it a little polish.

Celebrating 3yrs

Georgia

Looking for a little more guidance on what life might bring you this month? Tarot cards, read by an intuitive reader, can provide us that guidance. While your personal reading may vary slightly, the readings here are directed for all of those born in the same month for the current month. For a more specific reading to your specific circumstance contact Doreen Scanlan on FB Messenger to set an appointment.

Tarot done specifically for you if you were born in :

September: This is a great time to reassess your career plans. Using your emotional scale ask yourself how happy you are with the path you are on. If the score is low, it may be time to make some changes. There is no good reason to stay somewhere that you aren’t happy any longer than you have to. It is time to change it up. Just think how much easier it will be going to work if you can be happy there and make money. You may also be able to speak to someone in charge and tell them what you would need to be happy where you are . It is worth a try.

October: Time to look again at the goals you set for yourself. Ask yourself if they still fit your current situation. It may be time to update that plan so you can reach your financial goals a little sooner. Maybe all it takes is a fresh look at your progress. There might be resources that you have overlooked.

November: There may be a shake up in your close relationships this month. Your true friends are going to be there for you. You will definitely feel the love. But there are some folks that haven’t evolved with you as you have grown. Find a creative way to show your appreciation for the tried and true. It might be a great time to plan a group road trip.

December: Be extra careful this month with who you invite into your close circle. Not all of them are to be trusted. You will need to use your best judgment so that as few people as possible are impacted by their devious ways. You may have to take some severe action to protect the ones you love. Once you have identified the culprit and isolate yourself from their influence things will get back to normal.

January: You may need to be more money conscious this month. This could also have a negative impact on your mood so do what you can to stay positive. There is someone that you will connect with that could offer you some solutions. Don’t be afraid to learn something new that could change the momentum. You need to start advocating for yourself . If you aren’t afraid to ask for help you could get the boost you need.

February: Listen to your inner guidance system. You may find yourself feeling a little alone in your battle to get ahead. Remember , no one is going to care more about your success than you. There are new opportunities that may present themselves mid month. Consider any offers carefully. Don’t be afraid to ask the tough questions. Keep in mind it is not always what you know but who you know. Use your connections to put in a good word for you.

March: Prioritize things in your life this month. Things seem to be getting off track a bit. This would be a great time to get together with key people to start reaping the benefits of all your hard work. The end of the month suggests that it is time to focus more on your spiritual needs. This should bring your month to a close on a very positive note.

April: Even though this is just the end of a season and not the year, it is time to start bringing things to a close. Your year is based on your birthday, not the calendar year. You are about to start a new year and there are new financial opportunities that are going to show up for you. Time to build the next chapter of your life.

May: Passion is in the driver's seat this month. Before you hand over the keys though, take time to touch in with your feelings. It may be time to consider partnership, either personal or professional. Going solo is not necessary anymore. It is time to step up your game though and move up in the world. Reach for the stars.

June: You may find yourself struggling financially at the beginning of the month. Use this to your advantage.

It is time to change what is in your power to change. Look beyond your immediate situation to visualize how you would like to be able to manage things and start a plan to make that a reality. You may have to have some difficult conversations with those you are responsible for , letting them know things need to change in order for things to improve. You may have to tighten the money belt for the time being. They may not like it now but it will pay off later. You are all in this together.

July: Like many of the previous months, you too may need to start checking in on your finances. You aren’t going to make a lot of friends this month if you need to readjust your budget. You may be feeling a little overwhelmed. Start looking at your options. You may have to change things up a bit. Work together with loved ones to find a way to turn things around. You may find that some type of move you were planning needs to be postponed.

August: Pay attention to what your intuition is telling you. Your intuition is heightened this month so work on trusting it more. You may find that it guides you into new territory of faith. The Universe is all about you living your best life and your guides are willing to lead you in the direction of it if you are willing to pay attention to the signs. There is magic in the air for you. Open your mind to new pathways and walk in faith. Things will become clearer as the month goes on.

Doreen Scanlan, Intuitive Text 585-615-8494 for a personalized reading

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