MAY 2023 ISSUE#032
MEGA "I MAN" CHUCKII CHOPPING IT UP WITH THE FOUNDER OF 100 MASC SUITS
BlaqueOUT contributors
Javannah J. Davis (she/her) resides in Rochester, NY where she has worked in healthcare for 19 years, is a self-published author, Founder/President of W.A.V.E Women Inc & CEO/Owner of Linjé Enterprises LLC. Javannah is passionate about healing, self-love, self actualization & helping others to live the best of their lives in a healthy way.
Benjamin Griffin III; (he/ him/his). Enjoys bringing laughter to those he encounters and a major collector of Diecast School Bus models. In addition, he has a heart for education & children! Lastly, he is 1 half of "A Moment w/ The Griffins"
Lade Breez (He/Her/Them) is an award winning 3x published author, publisher, philanthropist, humanitarian, motivational speaker, life coach, event host, youth tutor, artist developer & spoken word artist. Owner & founder of Express Me Poetry Business Services & Events, & Educated Blessyns LLC, improving this world one stage at a time. ExpressMePoetry.com
E.L. Winston of Fayetteville, NC (He,Him, His) Trans Community Advocate, Co-Founder of Lambda Gamma Omega Nu Fraternity. Just your everyday introspective old man and 1 half of Team Winston
Immani Love, (she/her) A Lesbian Erotic Poet, Author, Ordained Minister, Freelance Writer, Real Estate Agent, and overall witty, seductress with the voice of a Siren. An educated Vixen in sunny St. Pete, Florida.
Roni Winston aka The Mrs. aka Pastor Roni (She/Her/Hers) Fayettevlle, NC. Minister, educator, entrepreneur, couples' coach, writer, mom, and grandma. Half of Team Winston.
Tina Marie Jones (she/her/hers) Founder of Uncover, LLC, mother of 4, activist, motivator, and columnist.
Mel Howard (he/him) Resides in Newport News, Virginia where he worked in finance industry for over 5years, is a columnists for BlaqueOUT Magazine and Founder/President of THRIVING TRANSMEN OF COLOR. Mel is passionate about community, self acceptance and forgiveness. David Maurice Griffin (He, Him, His) Columbia, SC; Providing the gift of massage is what he does, but spreading awareness of HIV/AIDS is who he is…1 half of "A Moment w/ The Griffins"
Tamara Leigh (She/Her)) Editor of Blaque/OUT Magazine. Lead Diversity, Equity & Inclusion Consultant with Blaque/OUT Consultanting with a focus on Intersectionality. Activist, Educator and Advocate. Mom of 2. From NY, In FL.
a word. Tamara Sanaa Leigh Editor-In-Chief
I kind of struggled with what to say this month. There are alot of things jumbled up in my head and much of it looks like torn off pieces of notebook paper strewn all over the floor. Those days that some make it in the bucket and some don't and you just let them sit there. Like that scene from The Five Heartbeats where the sister picks them up and just starts singing. So i'm just gonna start singing... This month marked the first that we were able to pay the incredible Black & Brown Queer Creatives that make BO possible. I scream the importance of that from the rooftops. It broke my heart not o be able to do it until now. A grant, advertising and subscriptions FINALLY made it possible and I am so grateful My 1st cover as an editor many years ago was a collage of pictures of Transwomen murdered that year. Probably the most meaningful was a cover of Transmasc folks, many of which are still a part of my life. One as a partner and many as siblings and friends. It NEVER stops being important. Anytime I can bring Trans folks to the front of the stage- I will and every single time it matters. This world is a very scary place right now and every time I see us stand, I see us fight, I see a child existing authentically and freely, I get emotional- small glimpses of hope. Hold on to that mustard seed ya'll. You can bury us- but we grow!
I’M NOT A CRYBABY! By Immani Love @ImmaniLove She/ Her
When I was 7 years old, I punched my music teacher in the stomach. She had it coming! Ok, in my defense, she shouldn’t have called me a “crybaby!” I was a very skinny, emotional, little girl. I was called names like “skeleton,” “sticks,” or “bones” and in my 2nd grade music class there was a bully who used to pick on me relentlessly about any and everything…he was annoying and often made me cry. This particular day we were supposed to be singing some song that I can’t recall now but apparently I didn’t want to sing because the bully had been bothering me and I was upset and crying.
Now although I probably did not communicate well at that age, I said, “I don’t want to sing,” in what can be perceived as a whiny voice, to which my teacher replied, “Don’t be a crybaby.” I was appalled! She called me a crybaby! So I responded as any 7yr old who doesn’t communicate well would…I punched her in the stomach, screaming, “I’M NOT A CRYBABY!” Which of course was a bad idea in retrospect. I got suspended and was awarded my very first visit to a psychologist. Apparently I had “anger issues” that needed to be addressed. Now as I recall it, my mother and step father took me to this office and the few things I remembered were how dark the office was, the decor was primarily dark woods, dimmed lighting, lots of old books with dark covers. I remember feeling sleepy like if I went into the room, I’d be lulled to sleep. I don’t recall the conversations I had with the therapist but I do remember the results of my sessions led to the discovery that I was feeling jealous of my newborn baby brother and the attention he got from my mother while I felt ignored and unheard when I spoke about my bully. I cried a lot during these sessions, it was therapeutic. I returned to school after my suspension and was forced to give my teacher an “apology card” and because I wasn’t fully “rehabilitated” I handed her the card with the statement, “ My mom said I had to give you this apology note but I don’t mean it! You shouldn’t have called me a crybaby.” (Sometimes therapy doesn’t do the trick right away, LOL) To which the teacher replied, “You’re right, I’m sorry.” And all of the sudden, I was cured of my “anger issues!”
Fast forward to my adult life, my next interaction with a therapist was again dealing with anger issues. I was in a physically abusive relationship, my partner at the time was extremely jealous and I was a flirtatious, polyamorous woman. At the time, I hadn’t defined my sexuality as such, I just knew that I didn’t feel comfortable loving just one person at a time and I knew I shouldn’t have to hide it. My partner at the time although she proclaimed to have a similar mindset, did not let her actions reflect that. Any attention from anyone, even close friends, whether flirtatious or platonic, was seen as disrespectful and resulted in a fight and often ended with hidden bruises and long sleeves in Florida summer heat. This led to depression and frustration which my colleagues at work noticed and a good friend suggested I utilize one of our fantastic company benefits of 10 free therapy sessions. The therapist in this situation was in a cheerily decorated office of pale pinks, yellows, and beiges. She often had fresh flowers in the office and had a genuine smile that instantly made me feel at ease to speak freely with her. I cried in a lot of those sessions, it was therapeutic. She came to the diagnosis of depression and prescribed me what my partner referred to as “happy pills” which I took for a while but began to resent any time I was upset and trying to express myself, her immediate response being, “Oh, you must not have taken your ‘happy pills’ today.” I found this demeaning and stopped taking them after just a few weeks. After several sessions, the therapist helped me realize how toxic the relationship was and encouraged me to leave, which with the help of some close friends, is exactly what I did. In my college years, I pursued a degree in Mass Communications with a minor in Psychology.
I thrived in my studies, I truly enjoyed the many aspects of the brain and how powerful it is. I leaned towards a focus on Women’s studies because it tapped into sexuality and gender which I found intriguing and believed to be aligned with my personality and beliefs. I regret not getting my degree as I intended but thankfully my life experiences helped me to use what I learned in my professional career and personal life to a degree that makes me feel like it wasn’t time wasted. I’ve had several experiences throughout my life where a therapist was called for. From the death of my son, to the loss of love and divorce, to navigating PTSD from a traumatic car accident.
I have gained so much insight into myself which I feel has helped me grow and mature to a pretty well-rounded person. Currently, I tend to be the person people come to when they need to vent, to share, or just need a sounding board to bounce ideas off of. I’m not a certified therapist but I am a good ear and often a welcoming shoulder to cry on. Rest assured if you ever utilize that shoulder, you will never be considered a crybaby. I encourage you to cry and cry often, it is cleansing, it is freeing, it’s a relief. Crying is therapy.
By Immani Love
INTERVIEW BY: E.L. WINSTON
OMEGA CHUCKII
The Man, The Myth, The Legend: Omega Chuckii Is respect earned by relationships or reputation? Either way there are some who deserve it with the utmost. Mr. Omega Chuckii is just such a man. He doesn’t just give lip service to advocacy or nebulous ideas to activism. I have been fortunate enough to see him in action and now you get to hear from him in his own words…the Man, the Myth, the Legend: Omega Chuckii. E.W: Omega, you are the founder of Tranz Of Anarchii INC, Zammboss, Trap Ministriez, Moufgazm and S.L.A.S.H . Can you tell us a little bit about them? O.C.: All of mi businesses are designed to focus on creating secure, fun, educational environments and experiences that detoxinize the way the world views masculinity and how it has marginalized and oppressed our nation. Masculinity includes all men, women, Transgender/Gender Non-Conforming, Non-Binary/Intersexed (TGI), and children identified individuals. Our organizations serve everyone and offer a plethora of programs to assist with health/sexual/mental/spiritual/emotional wellness, entrepreneurial training, life skills, re-entry & integration, support groups, fellaship, management, family connections, resources, housing and so much more. E.W.: What inspired you to start each one? O.C.: Just living life E.W.: You're also a motivational speaker, so what or who motivates you?
I am motivated by God, Mi, mi Bishop I'm thankful for the successes of the (Malcolm), and Halie Salasie. bonds and healing that have taken place so far. E.W: You recently hosted an event that I had the pleasure of participating in, 100 E.W: With so many organizations and Masc in Suits. What has been your events, how do you balance all the vision for this annual event? responsibilities between work and home? O.C.: I have sought to detoxinize masculinity, connect with others, give and One must understand that life doesn't stop get information, and feedback. There lifin’ cause you livin. Since I’ve been born already aren’t many men’s spaces, so 100 I’ve worn a number of hats. The only MASC in Suits was a way to bring visibility difference is the hats have names. So to our healthy existence while empowering, when I do my motivational wellness I healing and building to make a better acknowledge and organize which hats are future. needed and what does that look like. E.W.: Do you think you have achieved the goals you set for 100 Masc Suits? O.C.: I have achieved a number of goals, but this event is just getting started so
E.W.: I had the honor of being on you Detoxinizin Masculiniti web series. How did that come about and why is that message important for you?
O.C.: No one realli thinkz about Masculinity until I ask them on my series. Even then no guest has been the same and neither have the conversations. I only ask the same three questions 1. How do you define Detoxinizin Masculiniti? 2. How does it affect you personally? 3. How does it affect you professionally? Detoxinizin Masculiniti iz important to mi not onli bcuz itz mine because it’s the wai to truly heal mi people. Masculinity as a whole is power and if not under used or used right can be deadly. Masculinity affects us all as humans. Masculinity doesn’t just exist in men. It exists in women, children and TGI individuals. So for me to present the influence and perception of its effects on us all is my destiny. E.W.: How would you advise someone just starting out in community work? O.C.:: Truly do it from the heart, so the hard work will always be paid. Cause if you do it for the pay the work will never be loved. E.W.: What makes community work rewarding for you? Or not? O.C.: The reward is being able to bring awareness, services, resources, healing and true visibility. The unaward is the disrespect and unappreciative. But then you have to remember we are all human first. E.W.: You're also a part of the Ballroom scene. How did you get started and how long have you been involved? O.C.: Yes, the House of Alpha Omega, founding father Cesar. I’ve been watching ballroom since the Route 66 back in the 90’s. After high school, I came to Atlanta and they started to have categories that I kinda identified with. I was walking against
the Butch Queen (BQ) until they found out I waz Trans. I made Cali my representing home. Now my fight in Ballroom is to get the Trans categories broken down cause we come in different versions. I don’t identify as Trans so I shouldn’t have to walk but I waited so long just to have a comfortable category. Now that I’m a known individual in Ballroom, unless it’s OTA (open to all genders), realness, or everyday I’m required to walk Transman and can’t get away with walking BQ like others. E.W.: What would be your advice to anyone wanting to enter Ballroom? O.C.: You must be strong, know why you want to be a part and don’t allow no one to tell you how to be you. Know the history of ballroom. Know why you are trying to get involved and where you are trying to go.
1. Kanye West 2. Lil Wayne 3. Malcolm X 4. Halie Salasie E.W.: What quote keeps you moving on hard days and/or represent you as a man? O.C.: SMILE A DAY KEEPS THE STRESS AWAY. Know that I LOVE YOU, GOD LOVES YOU & most importantly YOU should LOVE YOU. E.W.: What would you like to be remembered for? O.C.: The TRUTH behind SMILE, that I truly love and did for love and always stood on mi TRUTH. E.W.: Let’s get to know Omega, the man. What do you see as your superpower?
E.W.: There are so many who look to you for inspiration. Do you see yourself in the role of a mentor?
O.C.: I’d have to say it’s vulnerability.
O.C.: To be honest I don’t look at miself az a mentor. I’m juzt a servant leader doin what the almighty haz deztin in mi path.
O.C.: Gaslighting and liars
E.W.: Speaking of admiration, if you could sit and have a conversation with someone you admire, living or deceased, who would that be and why? O.C.: If I could have a conversation with someone I admire it would be two people living & two people dead.
E.W.: What’s your greatest pet peeve?
E.W.: I know you have your hands in so many things, but I also know that in today’s climate we need our voices heard on the state and federal levels. Would you ever run for office? Why or Why not? O.C.: My first dream is to be President. My plan B is to be a founder and I’ve done that with what will soon be worldly validation. E.W.: And where can our readers find you to connect and watch more of your journey? On FB as Omega Chuckii or IG: Tranz of Anarchii Inc. Readers, I hope the experience has been worth the journey. You definitely won’t meet another like him and I am personally grateful for that. The man is human, his impact on mythological levels, and his heart is legendary. Now that you know his name, you won’t forget it. Omega Chuckii is the man, the myth, and the legend.
WATCH THE LIVE INTERVIEW
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100 MASC SUITS 2023
New York
Javannah J. Davis
Reflections Within At one point during middle school, I found out that the friends I hung out with didn’t like me. My “best friend” at the time told me. One of the reasons they didn’t like me, she told me, was because I was too nice, and despite always wanting to do things with and for them, I was perceived as being too braggadocious for my giving nature. I was devastated to say the least. Felt like a fool for allowing myself to be so vulnerable, and shamed. Now normally anyone would just excuse this by saying, “Oh they were just kids.” and perhaps that argument is valid. Still it’s no less damaging to a person who genuinely cares for others. It’s hurtful still when adults show disdain towards someone for selfish or voluntarily misguided reasons. We must know that oftentimes a person's rejection or contempt for you does not at all have anything to do with you, but speaks to everything in regards to the individual. It could be something within them that prevents them from appreciating who you are due to hurt, anger, confusion, or what they choose to believe. Either way, certain people simply will not like you no matter what you do, and no matter how likable you think you are. The fact of the matter is that you’re not going to win over every person you meet. Guess what? That’s okay! Don’t set yourself up and disrupt your energy by trying to please everyone. It’s IMPOSSIBLE! Your personality is uniquely made which means a few people will love and adore you, and others will not. This reality is easy to understand in hindsight, but holding to that perspective can prove frustrating during the occurrence of rejection. Rejection is uncomfortable in any form, whether it be social or romantic, but before you allow your world to be flipped upside down, keep in mind that it’s not just normal to be occasionally disliked, but it’s healthy Rejection is your protection! It helps us keep those around us that we are compatible with. You may not feel it at the times, but it also helps to empower you from the fear of being disliked. Besides, when you’re wasting energy trying to mold your personality or environment to someone else to be accepted, you’re blocking what is needed to find people who genuinely like you for you, and create relationships that are less exhausting. Listen to the good messages from those around you that adore you unconditionally. Theirs are the voices that should continuously live rent-free in your head; including the very important sound of your own voice encouraging you everyday. Everyday tell yourself that you are worthy of love, and deserve it. Change your dialogue inwardly until nothing externally can penetrate the positive reinforcements you’ve created around yourself. It’s often difficult for us to look inside ourselves and take accountability for our own happiness. How we encourage, protect, and love ourselves is beauty personified. The words we speak and the actions we take reflect our beauty, and validates the worth we see in ourselves. If what I am saying resonates with you, please know that you are enough.
MAY
FEATURE PHOTOGRAPHER,
Malachi Zion Hudson CALI
FOCUS2RISE Written By: Mel Howard
What is FOCUS2RISE? “We are a company that guides individuals using techniques that allow them to stand in their purpose rise and above their adversities. Allowing them to Focus On Celebrating Ultimate Success, however that success looks to them! “ DEI training for companies teaching how to maneuver properly in the light of TGNC individuals in the workplace. Consulting for TGNC individuals and parents of TGNC individuals transitioning. Youth Mentoring Spiritual Counseling
Founder and Executive Director, Julian Clarke, is a member and is the 2nd Supreme Anti-President on the National Executive Board of Alpha Omega Kappa. Julian is also Director of Business Administration for Thriving Transmen of Color. Julian will be speaking at Black Trans Advocacy Conference April 26, 2023 in “Session 02: Leaving Behind a Fixed Mind-Set and Walking Into a Growth Proficiency.” Julian has been on several panels including Thriving Transmen of Color Suicide Prevention Panel. He focuses on the advancement of Transgender communities of color gaining access to beneficial resources and tools for suitable living and growing. Julian is the voice behind FOCUS2RISE, he is the spearhead of its entirety. The company was born out of his own adversity and needing to ensure a good future for his family. The goal of FOCUS2RISE Life Coaching LLC is to be the leverage others need to rise above the adversities which keep them from fulfilling their goals. If you could leave anyone with a message what would it be? “I would leave the following message… It takes a positive mindset to reach your full growth proficiency!” “Once you have learned your success is greater than your hindrances, then you will be on your grind.” Anonymous
November Be open to receiving messages from Spirit. The more you can quiet your mind the clearer the messages will become. You will also become more accountable for the information you have been given. With that awareness comes responsibility. You can’t really go back to not knowing. This can come as a burden for some. Know that if you have been chosen it is for a reason. You have what it takes if you believe in yourself. You may find yourself evaluating your beliefs to make sure they are in line with the messages you are receiving. You will also be guided towards a new career choice by the end of the month. December The blessings that you have received that allow you to live the life you are living may take a hit this month. There may be a major expense that you may need take care of that may set you back a little. Use your best judgement as to how to take care of this in the best possible way. Unfortunately, something else you had planned may have to put on hold for a bit. Have faith though, ask for help in financing things if you can do you can spread the payments over time. They probably won’t offer that unless you ask. You might be surprised as to who might offer to help. Perhaps some mutual aide might be available. January Take some time to yourself this month. That will let you bring your best self to any interactions you have with others. You will also have a clearer appreciation for the meaningful relationships in your life. Share some of your dreams with others. That way you will have someone to keep you accountable to seeing them through to fruition. You need to allow yourself to reach for more of what makes you happy. February Take some time to reflect on where you are in your life plan. Take note of things that are falling short. You have skills that are underutilized. Start looking for ways to expand what you are good at. There is inspiration that will come your way towards the end of May . Try to find ways to include others with similar interests so you can share the successes. Celebrate. March Wonderment is your word for this month. Look for the newness in everything. Appreciation will breed more things to appreciate. Enjoy each one of them. Look for ways to share your appreciation with others. Take a leap of faith on an opportunity to bring in more abundance. Just remember abundance comes in many forms . April May is a time of reaching new heights. From this vantage points you start to build the next phase of your life . There is someone that may offer you a new opportunity and give you something you need to get started. People are very understanding of your needs and are willing to help. Give them the satisfaction of being able to give something to you. You may also be put in the position to make a decision that will affect more than just you. Use your wisdom to make that decision. Base it on what is the most beneficial to the most people.