June 21, 2021

Finding Hope Greater Victoria and the Cowichan Valley 2021/22 Resource Guide

BREAKING THE CYCLE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

COMMUNITY PARTNERS

survive – strive – thrive

Support for women leaving abuse

• Safe Emergency Shelter • Second Stage Housing • Supportive Counselling • Community & Connection Help is available.

Call: (250) 479-3963 Up to 80% of women who have been in a violent relationship have received at least one brain injury from a partner. Learn more about our services for survivors at https://cridge.org/ipv-bi/

Every year, 200,000 Canadian women receive brain injuries at the hands of their intimate partner.

Most women are undiagnosed and unsupported.

Without support, brain injuries can cause mental health issues, addiction, poverty and suicide.

The Cridge Centre for the Family has developed a program with services for women who have received a brain injury as a result of intimate partner violence.

To learn more visit: cridge.org/ipv-bi/ or call 250-516-8674 https://cridge.org/ipv-bi/ 2

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RESOURCE GUIDE

survive – strive – thrive

BY THE NUMBERS: BC Government, Ending Violence Assoc. of BC, Statistics Canada, Transition House, Cridge Centre, WHO

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1,000 / week

Each statistic represents a life torn apart by violence and abuse

million BC women have experienced violence since age 16

Physical or sexual assaults against BC women

250,000 800,000 60% /year

women in Canada receive brain injuries from partners, every year

1,934

Children witness a woman being abused in Canada

of BC residents know a woman who has been assaulted

1 in 3

2003

Transition House crisis line calls

women will be sexually assaulted in her lifetime

Men’s Trauma Centre opened in Victoria

920

2,830

1 in 6

Older women counselled at Transition House

Transition House volunteer hours

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seniors 60+ experience abuse

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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE / What You Need To Know

What’s inside By the Numbers…………………… 3 What is domestic violence?…………………………… 6 Brain injury and relationship violence……………………………… 7 Steps to take in case of abuse……………………………… 8 When children witness abuse…………………………………10 Community support for children…………………………11 What does a healthy relationship look like?…………12 Helping teens learn about healthy relationships……………13 Some relationship warning signs………………………14 Dating violence: finding help…………………………14 Understanding the Cycle of Abuse………………15 After sexual or physical violence………………………………16 Defining abuse and neglect………………………………18 Bridges for Women expands across BC………………19 Talking about senior abuse and neglect…………………………20 Victoria Foundation fund targets gender equity…………22 Bill C-247: tackling coercive & controlling behaviour………25 Men’s Therapy Centre supports survivors of violence…………………………25 Cowichan Valley Resource Guide……………………27 Funds support sexual assault response programs…………………………… 28 Greater Victoria Resource Directory………………29 4

Working to make BC safer

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or the last 15 months, British Columbians have been asked to stay home to stay safe.

But what if home isn’t safe?

For too many, it isn’t.

One thousand. That is the number of physical and sexual assaults against women in our province every week.

Domestic violence occurs behind closed doors in all communities of our province. Sometimes it starts with insults, verbal abuse, or unwanted sexual demands. It can escalate to punching walls, throwing objects, threatening children, physical violence, and death.

The COVID-19 pandemic has amplified and increased violence, creating what the United Nations has called a shadow pandemic of gender-based violence.

Community organizations, victim-service workers, and other front-line care providers have risen to meet this need, while navigating new challenges when it comes to providing safe, accessible care to survivors. They need our support.

It’s clear – action to make our province safer for women, girls, and gender diverse people has never been more important. It’s for this reason, we’ve committed to develop an action plan to end gender-based violence.

Our plan will be developed in consultation with survivors, experts, service providers and advocates in the sector – no one knows more what we need to do than survivors themselves and those who support them.

We are also working to make our province safer by providing more supportive housing for those leaving intimate partner violence and by investing in, protecting, and building emergency sexual assault services. Initiatives aimed at improving women’s economic independence and security and creating affordable, accessible, and quality child care are also key to addressing gender-based violence.

As our world and our social connections have moved online, we also need to do more to address and prevent violence that occurs on or through the Internet. B.C. is undertaking consulta-

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RESOURCE GUIDE

Grace Lore, Parliamentary Secretary for Gender Equity

tions on possible legislation to address the non-consensual sharing of intimate images. This abuse can be a form of intimate partner violence, or used to extort victims for additional images, sex, or money.

While it is a criminal offense to share intimate images without someone’s consent, we know the Internet moves fast. We need to ensure that survivors have access to all the possible tools and options for recourse.

We continue this work across government to take violence from behind closed doors and to provide survivors the care they deserve. Inaction is not an option.

Domestic and sexual violence is everyone’s business – if you see something is wrong, speak up and reach out. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call 911.

If you or someone you know is being abused, or if you are concerned about someone’s safety, call or text VictimLink BC through its toll-free 24/7 confidential, multilingual telephone service at 1-800-563-0808 or by email: VictimLinkBC@bc211.ca To find a sexual assault centre, transition house, or other supports in your local area, visit The Ending Violence Association of BC at https://endingviolence.org/need-help/

survive – strive – thrive

Finding Hope:

Breaking the cycle of domestic violence A special community project published by the Victoria News and Monday Magazine. vicnews.com | mondaymag.com

Group Publisher Penny Sakamoto psakamoto@blackpress.ca

Publisher Ruby Della Siega ruby@mondaymag.com

Editor Jennifer Blyth jblyth@telus.net

Creative Director Lily Chan Creative Design Michelle Gjerde Kelsey Boorman Tammy Robinson Crea Zhang

Videographer Arnold Lim

To request more copies, call 250-360-0817

The Victoria Foundation

Standing with those who have experienced domestic violence

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n our 2020 Victoria’s Vital Signs, data revealed that in 2018 there were 836 victims of policereported intimate partner violence in Greater Victoria.

Of those victims the overwhelming majority were women. And those are only the reported victims, many more still likely suffered in silence.

Throughout the world, we know rates of intimate partner violence have only gone up during the pandemic.

Like so many ills our society faces, domestic violence has been exacerbated by the conditions of the pandemic: more time spent at home, increased alcohol and drug use, job losses, and more.

The Victoria Foundation stands

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with the victims of domestic violence.

We do this by funding organizations working on the frontlines of this issue, by reporting the relevant data, and by believing victims.

We are humbled to support this publication, both in the hope it may help even one person, but also to raise awareness and encourage the societal changes needed to prevent these situations from occurring in the first place.

Sandra Richardson, CEO, The Victoria Foundation

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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE / What You Need To Know

What is domestic violence?

F

amily violence can take many depends on them,” points out the Govucation or career. It can affect people of forms, is found across society and ernment of Canada’s Family Violence Inievery race, religion and sexual orientareaches into many differtiative, a collaborative approach among tion, and can happen between anyone ent familial relationships. various agencies to prevent and in a close intimate relationship, such Intimate partner viorespond to family violence. as a boyfriend, girlfriend or fiancée, in FAMILY lence is not only about The different terms used a family, including children, parents, VIOLENCE INCLUDES: physical abuse. As for family violence can grandparents, siblings, intimate partPhysical abuse, sexual the BC Government have slightly different ners and extended family. notes, it includes meanings depending on According to the Public Health abuse, emotional or any form of violence where and how they’re Agency of Canada, of all reported psycho-social abuse, within a relationship used. violent crime in 2016, more than one financial abuse, – marriage, common Domestic violence can quarter (26 per cent) resulted from and neglect. law or dating – and sometimes mean family family violence. can be sexual, emotional, violence and sometimes it Additionally, almost 67 per cent financial and psychological, means intimate partner of family violence victims including threats. It can also happen violence. were women and girls, To learn more after a relationship is over and can Other terms include about the community with women victims happen in opposite sex and same-sex violence against womof intimate partner resources to support couples. en and gender-based violence more often those experiencing But family violence can also extend violence, child abuse or and more severely than intimate partner or to other members of the family, beyond neglect, and elder abuse men. family violence, see intimate partners. or neglect.

At the same time, “Family violence is any form of experts know that rates of Regardless of the term pages 27 to 31 abuse or neglect that a child or adult all forms of family violence used, all family violence is experiences from a family member, are underestimated. For exwrong. or from someone with whom they There is no “typical” family that expeample, in 2014, fewer than one in five have an intimate relationship. It is an riences violence – it affects Canadians people who had been abused by their abuse of power by one person to hurt in all types of families and relationships, spouse reported abuse to police, the and control someone who trusts and regardless of age, community, wealth, edgovernment notes.

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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RESOURCE GUIDE

survive – strive – thrive

The devastating toll of a hidden wound

How brain injury impacts nearly every survivor of a violent relationship

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xhausted, confused, overwhelmed, disoriented and considerate and individualized approaches to healing can help hopeless. women reclaim joy, independence and hope.

These are just some of the symptoms expeThe Cridge Centre for the Family is uniquely Up to rienced by roughly 200,000 Canadian women each positioned to address intimate partner violenceyear as a result of an intimate partner-caused caused brain injuries and support survivors.

90 per cent of brain injury. Often disguised within the fear, With expertise within the Cridge Brain Injury women who are trauma and pain of a violent relationship, most Program, and years of support and care in victims of domestic brain injuries in survivors of intimate partner The Cridge Transition House for Women, violence receive violence are never addressed or even identified.

The Cridge Centre has developed a program a brain injury This widespread public health issue has flown designed specifically to address this crisis with a under the radar while brain injuries among male five-tiered approach that includes direct services, athletes and military personnel have garnered media research, training, advocacy and prevention. attention, research and funding. But for every one NHL Unfortunately, thousands of women across Canada player who suffers a concussion or brain injury, roughly 5,500 still don’t even know they have brain injuries. They suffer silently, Canadian women suffer brain damage at the hands of their often blaming themselves for the incapacitating effects of brain intimate partner. The memory loss, disorientation, cognitive damage. The Cridge Centre for the Family is at the beginning challenges and emotional dysregulation caused by brain injury of a battle to acknowledge and overcome this devastating public can lead to unemployment, homelessness, addiction, criminalihealth crisis. Learn more about The Cridge Centre for the Family ty, suicide and the removal of children from the mother’s care. program for intimate partner violence and brain injury at cridge.

However brain injuries can be overcome. Compassionate, org/ipv-bi/.

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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RESOURCE GUIDE

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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE / What You Need To Know

Steps to take in case of abuse

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hile a person cannot • Think about your partner’s past use control their partner’s vioand level of force, which can help lence, they may be able to you predict what type of danger may take steps to increase their own safety come and when to leave. and that of their children.

• Talk to your children, letting them Safety planning is a top priknow the abuse is not their fault, ority, whether you choose and helping them plan to to remain in the home keep safe.

EXAMPLES OF or leave, notes BC’s • Plan how to leave ABUSIVE BEHAVIOUR Ministry of Public your home safely in an Safety and Solicitor INCLUDE threats, physical emergency and where General, sharing you’ll go. violence, insulting or suggestions from the • Teach your children degrading comments, Centre for Research how to get help and destroying property or and Education on NOT to get between extreme jealousy.

Violence Against you and your partner if Women and Children at there’s violence. Plan a code the University of Western word to signal they should get Ontario. help or leave.

You’ll also find a variety of local • During a violent situation, don’t run resources on pages 27 to 31 for addito a place where your children are, as your partner may also hurt them. tional information and support.

• Ask neighbours, friends and family Protecting yourself to call the police if they hear sounds while living with an abuser of abuse and to look after your chil• Tell someone you trust about the dren in an emergency. abuse, such as a friend, religious • At home, back your vehicle into the advisor, counsellor or doctor driveway and keep it fuelled.

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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RESOURCE GUIDE

• Be aware if weapons and ammunition are in the home.

• Hide your keys, cell phone and some money near your escape route.

• If an argument is developing, move to a space where you can get outside easily. DON’T go to a room with access to potential weapons, such as the kitchen or workshop.

• If you’re being hurt, protect your face with your arms around each side of your head, with your fingers locked together.

• Have a list of phone numbers to call for help. If it’s an emergency, call 9-1-1.

Cont’d on Pg. 9

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t’s important to know that domestic violence isn’t solely perpetrated against women and children.

Supports for male victims of family and sexual violence are available. VictimLink BC is a toll-free confidential telephone service available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Call 1-800-563-0808.

survive – strive – thrive Cont’d from Pg. 9

Getting ready to leave Once you’re planning to leave, consider: • Contacting police or local transition house, letting them know you intend to leave an abusive situation and ask for support in safety planning.

• If you’re injured, go to a doctor or an emergency room and report what happened. Ask them to document your visit.

• Gather important documents: identification, bank cards, financial papers related to family assets, last Canada Income Tax Return, keys, medication, photos of the abuser and your children, passports, health cards, personal address/telephone book, cell phone, and legal documents, such as immigration papers, • Have a back-up plan if your partner and has copies of all relevant docuhouse deed/lease, restraining orders/ learns where you’re going. ments. peace bonds. If you can’t store these • Carry a photo of the abuser and your in your home in case your partner After leaving children with you. will find them, consider making After you or your partner has left • Ask your neighbours copies and leave them with someone the relationship: to look after your you trust.

Peace bonds • Visit the closest police children in an • Consult a lawyer. Keep evidence of and restraining orders, station and ask to speak emergency and physical abuse, such as photos. Keep to an officer about known collectively as to call police a journal of all violent incidents, domestic violence. if they see the protection orders, are orders noting dates, events, threats and any • Consider applying abuser. witnesses. made by a judge – in criminal for a restraining • Take extra • Compile photos, jewellery and obcourt for peace bonds and civil order or peace bond precautions jects of sentimental value, as well as that may help keep court for restraining orders – at work, at toys and comforts for your children. your partner away home and in to help protect one person • Arrange with someone to care for from you and your the community. pets until you get settled. from another. children. Keep it with you Consider telling • Remember to clear your phone at all times. your supervisor at work of the last number you called • Provide police with a copy about your situation. to avoid the abuser using Have a list of any legal orders you have.

• Think about places and patterns that redial.

• Consult a lawyer or legal of phone numbers your ex-partner knows about and try Leaving the abuser aid clinic about actions to to call for help. to change them – consider using a To protect your personal protect yourself or your different grocery store, for example, If it’s an safety when you leave: children. Let your lawyer or place of worship.

• Request a police escort emergency, know of any Criminal • If you feel unsafe walking alone, ask a or ask a friend, neighCourt proceedings. call 9-1-1. neighbour, friend or family member bour or family member to • Consider changing any to accompany you. accompany you. service provider that you share • Do not return to your home unless • Contact your local transition with your ex-partner. accompanied by the police. Never house or safe home, which may be a • Obtain an unlisted phone number, confront the abuser. safer temporary spot than going to a get caller ID and block your number Learn more at www2.gov.bc.ca/gov/ place your partner knows. when calling out. content/safety/public-safety/domes• Do not tell your partner you are • Ensure your children’s school or daytic-violence leaving, and leave quickly. care centre is aware of the situation READ THE GUIDE ON OUR E-EDITION AT VICNEWS.COM

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RESOURCE GUIDE

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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE / What You Need To Know

When

CHILDREN witness abuse According to Statistics Canada, almost 40 per cent of all women assaulted by spouses said their children witnessed the violence (directly or indirectly).

In addition, it’s estimated that 30 to 40 per cent of children who witness the abuse of their moms, also experience direct physical abuse themselves.

While witnessing violence can have significant impacts on children of all ages, help is available.

The Victoria Women’s Transition House notes that not all children who witness intimate partner violence grow up to be abused or become abusive, especially if they receive counselling or have a positive role model to follow. Intervention programs can help stop the inter-generational cycle of abuse.

Through the Children’s Shelter Program, Transition House counsellors share important messages, such as “It’s not your fault, you are lovable and you are capable.”

With guidance and support, children also learn to create a safety plan.

At the shelter, children have access to individual crisis counselling, and children’s activity workers create recreational opportunities, providing much-needed 10

fun during a stressful time. schools it provides interactive workshops Parent education and support is availand education to youth and educators able, along with referrals to additional about dating violence, healthy relationcommunity resources. ships, boundaries and more.

The PEACE – Prevention, Education, A virtual VIP Video Series, is also availAdvocacy, Counselling & Empowerable through transitionhouse.net. ment /Children Who Witness Abuse Victoria Women’s Transition Program supports children age House also offers a Children’s three to 18 who’ve witnessed Spring Break & Summer It’s estimated domestic violence and Camp Program for abuse at home by providchildren and youth who that 30 to 40 per cent ing a non-threatening have witnessed intiof children who witness environment to explore mate partner violence the abuse of their feelings and learn and abuse at home. healthy ways to express Run by the PEACE/ moms, also experience emotions such as anger, Children Who Witness direct physical abuse hurt and fear.

Abuse Program, parthemselves.

Individual and group ticipants come together counselling and seasonal for an intense experience camps help children recognize of learning and fun, learning abusive behaviour, learn tools to about the cycle of abuse and the cope with their experiences and emotions choices they can make to prevent abusing/ and consider alternatives to violence being abused in relationships. It also helps in their own behaviour. Support is also them recognize they are not alone in their offered to mothers. experiences.

The Violence is Preventable (VIP) Additional programs include girls’ and Project links schools with the PEACE/ boys’ counselling groups.

Children Who Witness Program.

Run in collaboration with area high Cont’d on Pg. 11

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survive – strive – thrive Cont’d from Pg. 10

Shine is a 10-week group counselling program that responds specifically to the needs of pre-teen girls who have witnessed abuse, covering key themes such as confidence, trust, friendships, emotions, goals, relationships, stress and coping, assertiveness and boundaries, self-love and expression.

The eight-week Boys’ Counselling Group responds specifically to the needs of male and male-identifying children ages 12 to 14 who have witnessed violence and abuse at home.

Sessions explore key topics like gender expectations, including masculinity and addressing stereotypes, power and equality in relationships, healthy relationships with family and friends, healthy dating relationships, including issues related to consent, anger, assertiveness, boundaries and self-esteem.

To learn more about any of the Victoria Women’s Transition House youth programs, visit transitionhouse.net/our-programs/children-youth-programs/

Community support for children Children who witness violent or abusive behaviour against a parent may exhibit emotions such as anxiety, confusion, fear and anger, and some may act out aggressively.

The BC Government notes that children can also feel caught in the middle when abuse happens between parents. However, it’s important that they have resources to cope with the violence and its impact on them.

Community services to help children include: PEACE Program: Prevention, Education, Advocacy, Counselling and Empowerment – programs, formerly Children Who Witness Abuse – provide group and individual counselling for children ages 3 to 18 who’ve witnessed abuse, threats or violence at home.

BC Society of Transition Houses provides more information and locations at bcsth.ca/ support or locally, visit transitionhouse.net/ our-programs/children-youth-programs/ Children and Youth Mental Health Programs: Child and Family Service offices provide community-based mental health services to children, youth age 18 and younger, and their families. Program staff typically include

psychologists, social workers, counsellors with masters degrees and nurses. Services include assessment and planning, treatment, management of community issues, and consultation with others involved with the client.

Sexual Abuse Intervention Program – Provided under the mandate of the BC Ministry for Children and Family Development, this provides appropriate, timely and accessible assessment, treatment and/or support services to children and youth who have been sexually abused, and to children under age 12 with sexual behaviour problems.

BC Children’s Hospital Child and Youth Mental Health Program – Providing psychiatric assessment, short-term treatment, including individual, family and group services, and medication review for BC and Yukon children, youth and their families.

Support is available for eating disorders, mental health and substance use, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity disorders, mood and anxiety disorders and more.

Visit www2.gov.bc.ca/gov/content/safety/ public-safety/domestic-violence

WE’RE HERE FOR YOU CLINICAL SERVICES • SUPPLIES • EDUCATION

The current service model at Island Sexual Health may look different but we are still here for you. Most of our care is provided through virtual visits, however we do have limited on site care. Our store is still operating for birth control and bleed control supplies along with our other products including our new gender affirming apparel program and we have a new pick-up window to serve you. www.islandsexualhealth.org .islandsexualhealth.org Check out islandsexualhealth.org or call 250 592-3479 for additional information on our current hours and services.

101 - 3960 Quadra Street Victoria READ THE GUIDE ON OUR E-EDITION AT VICNEWS.COM

vicrisis.ca Vancouver Island Crisis Line: 1-888-494-3888 (24/7) Crisis Chat: vicrisis.ca Crisis Text: 250-800-3806 (both 6-10 pm) Community Education School Programs Photo: pixabay.com DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RESOURCE GUIDE

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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE / What You Need To Know

What does a healthy relationship look like?

Healthy relationships are essential to preventing partner violence.

What does a healthy relationship look like?

The Canadian Red Cross notes, for example, that in a healthy relationship, the other person will: Listen to you and take your feelings and ideas seriously, and talk openly and honestly with you about what matters to them.

They won’t use threats of harm, violence or suicide to get his/her own way, will never hit, punch, kick, bite, slap, push or otherwise strike out in anger or jealousy, and not try to control what you do, where you go or who you talk to.

In a healthy relationship, the other person will respect you, say good things to you and about you, and enjoy spending time with you, and show it whether alone with you or in a group.

They’ll trust you – and earn your trust by keeping your confidences – allow you to enjoy the activities and people that matter to you and accept your limits about sexual activity, every time.

Tips to keep a relationship positive Do keep your friendships and interests.

Respect the right of your date or partner to set limits: “No means no.”

Do not tolerate any form of physical aggression including threats, slaps, pushes, 12

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RESOURCE GUIDE

pinches or punches, and know that violence is never the fault of the victim.

What are your rights in a relationship?

In a relationship, everyone has a right to: Express opinions and have them respected • Make decisions about themselves and have equal decision-making power • Say “no” to physical closeness or any activity that makes them uncomfortable, at any time, even if they originally said “yes” but change their mind • Refuse a date at any time • Choose their own friends, and keep their friendships • Control their own money and possessions • Participate in activities that do not include their boyfriend or girlfriend • Have their needs be as important as the other person’s needs • Grow as an individual in their own way • Not have to take responsibility for someone else’s behaviour • Not be physically or sexually assaulted, or emotionally abused • Break up and fall out of love with someone and not be threatened or hurt For more information, including access to a free Healthy Youth Relationships online course for youth, visit redcross.ca

What to do when you are angry While every close relationship involves some conflict, and feeling angry is okay – anger tells us something is wrong – using violence or abusive language is never an acceptable way to cope with anger, notes the Canadian Red Cross.

Instead, figure out what is really bothering you and talk about it. Negotiate, look for healthy compromises and try to be fair and generous.

Take full responsibility for your own thoughts, feelings and actions – you might be angry, but the other person didn’t MAKE you mad.

If things get heated, take a time-out – talk yourself down from hostile thoughts, feelings and urges, and think of creative, healthy solutions.

If you have trouble keeping your anger in check, or think you might be abusive, get help.

You can change your behaviour!

Understand your limits, and those of the other person, and respect them.

survive – strive – thrive Helping teens learn about healthy and unhealthy relationships

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eveloping healthy friendships and romantic relationships is important to healthy sexuality for teens.

However, they’ll need to learn what makes a relationship healthy, and to identify qualities of unhealthy and abusive relationships, Island Health explains. Parents can help: • get to know your teen’s friends by making them welcome in your home • be available to listen to your teen talk about good and not-so-good times with friends • avoid making any judgments – criticizing their friends can alienate them • model healthy relationships – talk about your own relationships with your partner or spouse, your family, coworkers and friends • discuss the ways your relationships are healthy, and ways they may not be • talk about what you’ve done in the past,

Facts & figures

or what you are doing to make your relationships healthy for you • talk about the characteristics of healthy, unhealthy, and abusive relationships • teach your teen to respect themselves and others If you believe your teen may be involved in an unhealthy or abusive relationship, take time when you’re both calm to talk. Put your concerns in clear, honest, non-judgmental language: “I heard you crying last night after Chris dropped you off. Your arm is bruised.

What happened?”

Make it clear that you love and support your teens and that you’re there for them.

If you’re in an unhealthy or abusive relationship, it’s important to help yourself and your children by changing your situation. See pages 27 to 31 for resources in your community.

Learn more at islandhealth.ca

According to Victoria’s Vital Signs 2020 report, in 2018, there were 128 child and youth victims of police-reported family violence in Greater Victoria – 79 females and 49 males.

In Canada, 31 per cent of child and youth victims of police-reported violence were victimized by a family member in 2018. Nearly six in 10 of those by a parent.

Physical force was used against 75 per cent of child and youth victims. The rate of physical assault was higher than the rate for sexual offences. Female and male victims had similar rates for physical assault, but the rate for sexual offences was nearly five times higher for female victims.

The rate of family violence against children and youth was nearly twice as high in rural areas than urban areas.

WE’RE THE HEU Ask about our Emergency Shelter as well as our compassionate, non-judgmental counselling and support programs for women with specialized programs for older women and for children who witness abuse.

ON THE FRONT LINES and behind the scenes, our members are working for your care.

Providing Hope. Changing Lives.

 /hospitalemployeesunion  @heu_in_bc \ @HospEmpUnion  heu.org READ THE GUIDE ON OUR E-EDITION AT VICNEWS.COM

We are committed to supporting women of all ages, with and without children, impacted by domestic violence and abuse.

24 Hour Crisis and Information Line 250-385-6611 https://www.transitionhouse.net DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RESOURCE GUIDE

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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE / What You Need To Know Some relationship warning signs The Canadian Red Cross shares potential warning signs to watch for in a relationship: Ignoring your feelings and wishes • Name-calling and criticism • Teasing and ridiculing things that are important to you • Ignoring you or pretending not to hear you • Acting more friendly when the two of you are alone than when his/her friends are around • Keeping you away from your friends or putting them down • Sulking when you don’t do what she/he wants or threatening suicide • Showing anger and using threats or violence to get his/her own way • Encouraging or pressuring you to do things that make you feel uncomfortable • Refusing to accept your limits about sexual activity Learn more at redcross.ca

DATING VIOLENCE: finding help

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ating violence can happen to anyone in a relationship or after the relationship has ended.

The BC Government notes that dating violence can happen to females and males, regardless of sexual orientation, and to youth with any sort of background – various cultures, wealthy or not. It can also happen whether or not drinking is involved.

How may youth victims be affected?

Youth who are hurt by a boyfriend or girlfriend may feel: shocked, confused, numb, angry, violated, depressed, powerless, alone, ashamed, scared, a loss of self-confidence, anxious, a sense of grief.

These emotions can cause other health problems, such as stomach trouble, headaches, or sleeping or eating problems.

Physical violence can result in bruises, broken bones, or other physical injuries.

The first step in dealing with dating violence is to talk about it with someone.

If you are in an abusive relationship, tell someone you trust and find out what your options are. Emotional support is important to feeling better and to getting out of an abusive relationship.

In addition to help through schools, universities, health centres, hospitals, transition houses, etc. options for help include your local police and VictimLink BC, which provides information and referrals to all victims, as well as immediate crisis response to victims of sexual and family violence. Call 1-800-563-0808 or go to www.victimlinkbc.ca.

The Youth Against Violence Line is a service that young people can call to seek help or report incidents of youth violence or crime. Call 1-800-680-4264.

HealthLinkBC is a service that anyone can call to access health information.

Call 811 or go to www.healthlinkbc.ca.

Find more community resources on pages 27 to 31.

NOW AVAILABLE ACROSS B.C. Bridges Employment Program FREE 6-month employment readiness program for self-identified women impacted by trauma, violence and abuse

Delivered via Zoom.

Tech supports available.

access@vsac.ca

Indigenous programs available!

250-385-7410 1-866-896-3356 info@bridgesforwomen.ca bridgesforwomen.ca/apply http://bridgesforwomen.ca/apply/ 14

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RESOURCE GUIDE

http://vsac.ca

survive – strive – thrive

Understanding the cycle of abuse

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n abusive relationship typically has three cycles, each with its own characteristics. Women’s reactions may vary during these cycles, and can include fear, anger, depression and denial, explains the Victoria Women’s Transition House Society.

During the tension-building stage, the abuser will often launch verbal assaults, including insults, put-downs or accusations; they many use controlling or interrogation techniques.

The abuser often sets unrealistic expectations and regardless of what the partner does, the abuser becomes more oppressive.

The woman may blame herself for not being able to control the situation and may begin to feel helpless as the tension becomes unbearable.

During the explosion or abusive incident stage, tension explodes into either violent acts or extreme verbal or psychological abuse.

The abuser intends to ‘teach’ his partner a lesson, not necessarily to inflict injury.

Incidents are triggered by the abuser’s perception of the situation – not by the woman’s behaviour – and the abuser often blames external factors, such as alcohol, work pressures, extended family, etc. “While these may be triggers for the abuser, they are not the cause,” the Society notes.

The woman is most likely to be physically hurt during this stage, and it’s at this stage that suicidal incidents or homicide can occur.

Only the abuser can end this phase, and the woman’s only option during this violent outburst is to find a safe place – call 911 in case of an immediate threat to you or your children.

It’s after this stage the woman is most likely to seek help.

The Honeymoon Stage brings a period of calm when the abuser feels shame or guilt and the partner feels guilt or relief.

The abuser may try to seek forgiveness with apologies, promises, gifts and expressions of helplessness, fearing the woman may leave him.

He promises it will never happen again, often truly believing he can control himself.

Here, both deny and rationalize the explosion stage; typically not discussing it with each other or others.

This period becomes increasingly important in the denial of the violent episode, helping convince women that the abuser “really loves her,” and that the abusive behaviour won’t be repeated. Moved by the abuser’s remorse, forgiveness follows.

This stage varies in time and intensity, and many women describe how over time, it disappears completely. Not long after, the loving behaviour gives way to tension build-up and the cycle is repeated.

Learn more at transitionhouse.net/aboutabuse/cycle-of-abuse/ For help, call Victoria Women’s Transition House at 250-385-6611.

“

I knew the last time it happened I had to get out or the next time would be it. I worked hard for what I had in life and I had to leave it all.

Getting help and shelter through Cool Aid and Next Steps is a wonderful thing.

And that’s how I think about it – I’m on the next step of this journey of healing and believing in myself.

“

Holly, Cool Aid client (name changed to honour client privacy)

When you support Cool Aid, you change the lives of women like Holly, helping them heal and giving them a chance at a new life.

Please help today: www.coolaid.org.

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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RESOURCE GUIDE

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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE / What You Need To Know What to do:

After sexual or physical violence

M

ore than half of women in BC have experienced physical or sexual violence since the age of 16, and one in three women will be sexually assaulted in her lifetime, says the Ending Violence Association of BC. Sexual assault and violence involves unwanted sexual touching by anyone – including your partner, a friend or stranger, notes Island Health, It includes: sexualized violence (vaginal, oral and or anal); physical violence, such as hitting, kicking, biting or shoving from someone you know such as a partner or friend, or a stranger; and waking up not knowing what has happened to you.

If you’ve been sexually assaulted, it’s important to know that what has happened is not your fault and you are not alone.

If you’ve been sexually assaulted or experienced intentional relationship violence within the past seven days, go to your nearest hospital emergency as soon as possible, where Island Health’s Forensic Nurse Examiners will help.

Compassionate, knowledgeable and trained to care for those in your situation, Forensic Nurse Examiners will help you make informed decisions about your health and situation in a safe and comforting space. Services are strictly confidential – you will be heard and cared for.

Forensic Nurse Examiners can see survivors up to seven days after sexual assault or domestic violence, and provide the choice of three care options: 1. Medical care – A sexual assault forensic examination (SAFE) is not performed and no police report is filed.

2. Medical care and SAFE – including documentation of physical injuries and forensic sample collection. The forensic samples are stored for one year so survivors have time to decide what they would like to do. The nurse examiner does not report to RCMP/Police.

3. Medical care and SAFE, where forensic samples are provided to RCMP immediately, with the survivor’s consent.​ With your consent, a Forensic Nurse Examiner can also:

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• perform forensic exams with collection of forensic samples for evidence • liaise with legal system – contacting police and parents ONLY if you want them to • provide medication as needed, emergency contraception and immunization • provide referrals for follow-up care within your community.

Free Forensic Nursing Services are offered through the Emergency Departments across the Island. Locally that includes Cowichan District Hospital, Chemainus Urgent Care Centre, Lady Minto Hospital, Ladysmith Urgent Care Centre, Victoria General Hospital, and Victoria Sexual Assault Centre.

If possible, before coming to the hospital: try not to pee or poop; do not eat or drink anything; do not shower or take a bath; do not douche or wash your genitals; do not change your clothes; do not brush your teeth, floss, chew gum, or brush your hair.

Don’t worry if you have done any or all of the above, it’s still important to come to the hospital for care. Once at the hospital, everything that happens is your choice – you can say “No” to any of the following.

A Forensic Nurse Examiner will discuss and may offer a head-to-toe medical exam,

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RESOURCE GUIDE

emergency contraception (Plan B”, “morning after pill”) if you’re at risk of pregnancy, medications to help prevent chlamydia and gonorrhea, immunizations for Hepatitis B or Tetanus, medications to help prevent HIV, and other treatment as needed. Depending on your condition, you may also be seen by the emergency department doctor.

Reporting to police Reporting to police does not mean you’ll go to court or that charges will be laid.

These might happen, but not always.

When you report to police they’ll investigate the incident and may talk to others who may have seen or heard what happened. They’ll ask you questions to get as much information as possible about what happened.

Police will also collect samples that may be at the scene and/or from your visit to the hospital. Sample collection from your body is the job of the Forensic Nurse Examiner, if you choose.

If you choose to report to police, it’s best to report as soon as possible, but there is no time limit, island Health notes.

If you don’t feel safe, police and a support worker can also help with a safety plan.

Learn more at islandhealth.ca/learnabout-health/sexual-assault-violence/sexual-assault-violence

Too many men have been lost to overdose.

We’re here for you because we want you to be here too.

Find help, hope, and connection.

Call BC’s Alcohol and Drug Information Referral Service 1-800-663-1441 or visit IslandHealth.ca/StopOverdose READ THE GUIDE ON OUR E-EDITION AT VICNEWS.COM

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RESOURCE GUIDE

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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE / What You Need To Know

Defining abuse and neglect Abuse can take many forms. While we may initially view abuse through the lens of physical or sexual violence, other forms of abuse are also often involved and can have significant impacts.

Island Health explains that “abuse is the deliberate mistreatment of an adult which causes physical, mental, or emotional harm or damage to their property or their assets. There are different types of abuse, and it can happen to anyone, at any age, in any culture, no matter what his or her gender, income, or religion.

“Neglect is the failure to provide necessary care, assistance, guidance, or attention causing the person physical, mental, or emotional harm. Self-neglect is when an adult fails to take care of their own basic needs to the point that causes the person physical, mental, or emotional harm, or significant loss of their assets.”

How to recognize the signs of abuse and neglect Physical abuse – A deliberate act of violence, rough treatment or use of physical force against an adult. It’s important to know that people may not show signs of being physically abused.

Signs and symptoms of physical abuse include: cuts; bruises; burns; grip marks; black eyes; and unusual pattern or location of injury.

Signs that aren’t always easy to identify include: fearfulness; depression; anxiety; and withdrawal from regular activities and social contact.

Emotional Abuse – “Emotional abuse can be as painful and damaging as physical abuse because it diminishes an adult’s sense of identity, dignity and self-worth,” Island Health notes.

It can include being verbally assaulted, insulted, yelled at, threatened or humiliated by someone close to them or by a caregiver.

The abuser often confines a person or isolates them by preventing them from having visits from family and friends or by 18

denying them the chance to attend doctor or other personal care appointments.

Signs and symptoms of emotional abuse include: depression; fear; anxiety; and behaviour changes when a caregiver enters or leaves the room.

Sexual Abuse – Any sexual behaviour directed toward an adult without that adult’s knowledge and consent.

“Sexual abuse can happen to people of all ages, including the elderly,” Island Health notes. It’s “a way that a person tries to have control over someone and has nothing to do with consenting sex between adults. ” Signs and symptoms of sexual abuse include: pain, itching or bruises around breasts or genital area; torn, stained or bloody underclothing; sexually transmitted diseases such as venereal disease; vaginal/anal bleeding; depression, withdrawal from regular activities, fear and anxiety.

Financial Abuse – involves the improper, illegal or unauthorized use of an adult’s resources for the benefit of another.

Signs and symptoms of financial abuse include: unpaid bills; no money for food,

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RESOURCE GUIDE

clothing, or medication; unexplained withdrawal of money from someone’s bank account; family member or representative refusing to spend money on the adult’s behalf; possessions disappearing; family member or another person forcing an adult to sign over Power of Attorney against their own will.

Neglect and Self-Neglect – “Adults are neglected when a caregiver does not provide the essential daily living needs of an adult dependent upon them, for things such as food, clothing, shelter, bathing, medication, health care, and doctor visits,” Island Health explains.

“Self-neglect happens when an adult can no longer take care of their own basic daily living needs.”

Signs and symptoms of neglect and self-neglect include: malnourishment; dehydration; confusion; inappropriate clothing; under- or over-medication; skin sores; poor hygiene; absence of required aids, canes and walkers.

To learn more, visit islandhealth.ca/ learn-about-health/adult-abuse-neglect For more resources in your community, see the resource guide on pages 27 to 31.

survive – strive – thrive

Bridges for Women expands BC wide

O

ne of the hidden effects of domestic violence is the impact on survivors’ ability to work.

Established in 1988 as an employment training program for women with a history of trauma and abuse, Bridges for Women exists to support survivors of violence and trauma to overcome challenges, set goals and thrive in the workforce.

They have served self-identified women in Victoria for more than 30 years and recently expanded to offer online programs across B.C. “Our Founding Mothers saw that, too often, women were forced to make impossible choices because they didn’t have economic security,” explains interim Executive Director Patricia Rawson. “They saw women return to abusive partners for financial reasons – they couldn’t afford to take care of themselves and their children on their own.”

The Bridges Employment Program was the first in Canada to recognize the direct impact of trauma on employability.

The flagship program is a six-month, part-time group where women learn about the impacts of trauma, develop coping strategies and begin to build futures for themselves. Participants learn skills to help thrive in the workplace, and receive clinical counselling and other supports.

Trauma impacts survivors’ ability to work in a variety of ways.

According to the Canadian Labour Congress, more than 80 per cent of people who experience domestic violence report that their job performance was negatively affected.

Trauma can affect survivors’ ability to concentrate, maintain healthy boundaries, manage stress, or resolve conflicts, which can lead to job loss or stalled careers.

The online programs have proven to be The Bridges’ program provides women so successful that Bridges for Women has with practical skills to deal with the expanded availability to serve the everyday challenges of seeking and maintaining work, helping whole province. them find long-term stability Now, any self-identified Improving and financial security. woman impacted by doAccording to Rawson, of economic security mestic or sexual violence Bridges graduates who start can enroll in the online through job jobs or higher education Bridges to Employment programs programs, 94 per cent are program. Learn more at still employed or enrolled www.bridgesforwomen.ca/ after three months. Rawson says apply/ this shows that graduates are entering Currently, all programs are being the workforce with the skills they need to delivered online, with Bridges providing thrive. loaner laptops and other supports to “The women we serve are remarkably reduce barriers. resilient,” Rawson explains. “Despite the The team is looking forward to re-introchallenges of connecting online over the ducing in-person programs in the Capital past year, they have shown up for themRegional District soon.

Learn more at www.bridgesforwomen.ca selves and each other.”

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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RESOURCE GUIDE

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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE / What You Need To Know

TALKING

about senior abuse and neglect Like many forms of abuse, abuse of seniors can take many forms, including physical, psychological, sexual and financial. It can also involve abuse of medications and neglect, notes Seniors First BC. While many of these abuses are criminal offences under the Criminal Code of Canada – such as theft, forgery and assault – few offences against seniors are brought to the Criminal Justice System.

“The main reason for abuse is the use of power and control by one person over another. In cases of financial abuse, the abuser has a false sense of entitlement to the senior’s money or possessions. The system can also be abusive. A relationship is abusive when a set of behaviour is used by a person(s) to establish dominance and control over another person.”

According to Seniors First BC, 61,000 Seniors in British Columbia experience abuse, defined as “an action, or deliberate behaviour, by a person(s) in a position 20

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RESOURCE GUIDE

of trust, such as an adult child, family member, friend or caregiver, that causes an adult either physical, emotional or mental harm, or damage to, or loss of, assets or property. This includes: • threats • intimidation • humiliation • physical assault • sexual assault • over/under-medication • withholding medication • censoring mail • invasion or denial of privacy • denial of access to visitors Abuse can also involve neglect or self-neglect, either intentionally withholding basic necessities of care (active neglect) or not providing basic necessities or care because of lack of experience, information, or ability (passive neglect).

Self-neglect occurs and can result in malnutrition or dehydration. Unsanitary

Violence toward seniors in Greater Victoria According to the Victoria Foundation’s 2020 Victoria’s Vital Signs, in Canada, 33 per cent of senior victims of police-reported violence in 2018 were victimized by a family member.

Female senior victims of family violence were most likely to be victimized by a spouse (14 per cent) compared to senior male victims, who were most often victimized by their child (9 per cent). Physical assault was by far the most common type of family violence reported by senior victims (63 per cent).

Family violence against seniors, regardless of sex, was higher in rural areas than urban areas.

Learn more at victoriafoundation.bc.ca/

survive – strive – thrive or unsafe surroundings are often caused were victimized by a family member: by self-neglect and can lead to illness 33 per cent of women were victimised or injury. by their spouse and 31 per cent by their As with other demographics, an oldgrown child; conversely, among men, a grown child was the most common er person can be reluctant to seek help perpetrator. or report abuse for a variety of reasons.

It’s important to note that these They may feel ashamed at the abuse, reflect police-reported abuse. Many or think they won’t be believed, they incidents across all ages go unreported. may fear recrimination from the abuser The numbers were consistent with or be concerned about consequences to the previous year, which found that their adult child or family, Seniors First physical assault was most common BC says. form of police-reported family violence They may also fear being placed in a against seniors. care facility or having daily supCommon assault was the port withdrawn, or believe most frequently reported they won’t be allowed Department form of family vioto see their friends or grandchildren. lence against seniors of Justice Canada offers Additionally, in 2015, experienced family violence public legal people may not by more than half education and information know about supof seniors victimport services in the ized by a family publications in a variety of community. member, followed languages. Learn more at Sometimes by uttering threats cultural barriers can (19 per cent), major justice.gc.ca/eng/cj-jp/ affect reporting of assault (15 per cent) fv-vf/help-aide.html abuse, which can occur and criminal harassin any culture. ment (4 per cent).

Seniors First BC notes that Learn more at canada.ca/en/ about 10 per cent of all immigrants public-health coming to Canada in the last few years Where to get help have been over the age of 60. Older If you or someone you know is being immigrants who may be facing abuse abused or neglected, the BC Governexperience further barriers in asking for ment shares the following resources. help or reporting abuse, isolation from If you or someone you know is in friends, racism and discrimination and immediate danger, dial 9-1-1. fear of being deported if their sponsor For non-emergency situations, referwithdraws support. Communication rals and information: and lack of knowledge of Canadian The Seniors Abuse and Information system or who to seek help from can Line (SAIL) is a safe, confidential place also contribute, as can dependence on for older adults and those who care adult children and relatives for housing, about them to talk to someone about financial, emotional and social support situations where they feel they are being and a cultural belief that a family probabused or mistreated, or to receive inlem is a private matter. formation about elder abuse prevention.

Learn more, including where to find help, at seniorsfirstbc.ca

Call toll-free at 1-866-437-1940, from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. daily (exc. holidays).

Learn more at seniorsfirstbc.ca/programs/sail If someone is abusing or neglecting you or someone you know, VictimLink BC is a confidential telephone service available across BC and Yukon 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

VictimLink BC provides information and referrals to all victims of crime, and crisis support to victims of family and sexual violence, with interpreter services available in more than 150 languages upon request, including many North American Aboriginal languages.

For details, call 1-800-563-0808 or VictimLinkBC If you believe someone is being abused or neglected in an assisted living facility, contact the Assisted Living Registrar. The ALR investigates complaints about the health and safety of assisted living residents. Call 1-866714-3378, 250 952-1369 in Victoria or visit www2.gov.bc.ca/gov/content/ health/assisted-living-in-bc/assisted-living-registry Community Care Licensing Officers investigate complaints about the health, safety or well-being of a person in care at a licensed community care facility – one where adults reside and receive care, including end-of-life care, mental health and substance use, long term care or extended care or residential care, community living for people with developmental disabilities, and acquired injury. Call Enquiry BC at 1-800-6637867 and ask to be connected to your health authority’s Community Care Licensing Office.

Learn more at www2.gov.bc.ca/gov/ content/family-social-supports/seniors/ health-safety/protection-from-elderabuse-and-neglect/where-to-get-help

Seniors & family violence

According to a 2016 Statistics Canada report, nearly four per cent of victims of family violence were age 65 or older.

Of the incidents of elder abuse, nearly 61 per cent of were physical assaults against older adults, while 21 per cent involved threats.

Further, 34 per cent of older adults READ THE GUIDE ON OUR E-EDITION AT VICNEWS.COM

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RESOURCE GUIDE

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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE / What You Need To Know

Victoria Foundation fund targets gender equity

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n 2018, there were 836 victims of police-reported intimate partner violence in Greater Victoria – 647 females and 189 males, the Victoria Foundation noted in 2020’s Victoria’s Vital Signs. Nationally, 30 per cent of victims of police-reported violent crime had been victimized by an intimate partner.

Of these victims, 79 per cent were women, making intimate partner violence the leading type of violence experienced by women, aged 15 to 89.

The foundation’s Gender Equity Fund is one of 10 Community Action Funds and support initiatives in the Capital Region that drive cultural, economic and political changes required to make gender equity a reality.

Through grants and strategic initiatives, the fund supports the identification and development of solutions to address issues related to gender equity,

focusing on the experiences of self-identified women, non-binary and gender non-conforming people.

In 2020, grants included $40,000 to the Victoria Sexual Assault Centre’s Transforming Justice, Healing Communities Program which creates alternative responses to sexualized violence while promoting healing and justice for women, girls, Trans, Two-Spirit, and Gender Non-conforming survivors and their communities.

The program acknowledges how transformative justice offers community-informed alternatives for healing and accountability centering relationship building, safety, and skills to prevent and respond to sexualized violence. As more communities share their need for justice and accountability outside of institutions, transformative justice offers approaches to heal hurting communities rather than

continue punitive measures meant to exact further harm.

The Cridge Centre for the Family also received a $25,000 grant for its program, Battered Brains: Intimate Partner Violence and Brain Injury.

According to statistics, up to 90 per cent of women who have been in a violent relationship have received at least one brain injury at their partner’s hand, and approximately 200,000 Canadian women each year are dealing with violence-related brain injuries – undiagnosed and unsupported.

The program delivers training to frontline healthcare workers to provide essential interventions to women who have received a brain injury from intimate partner violence (read more on page 23) Learn how you can support the Gender Equity Fund at victoriafoundation. bc.ca/gender-equity-fund/

HELP MAKE MENTAL HEALTH #UNIGNORABLE DONATE TODAY UWGV.CA

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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RESOURCE GUIDE

The Victoria Foundation is committed to working with donors and community organizations to address the impacts of sexual and intimate-partner violence. The Gender Equity Fund supports initiatives in the Capital Region that drive the cultural, economic, and political changes required to make gender equity a reality. Through grants and strategic initiatives, the Fund supports the identification and development of solutions to address issues related to gender equity, focusing on the experiences of self-identified women, non-binary, and gender non-conforming people.

Learn more about how you can support programs, services, and organizations advancing this important work through the Gender Equity Fund at: victoriafoundation.bc.ca/gender-equity-fund

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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RESOURCE GUIDE

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We stand with survivors of intimate partner violence in the fight for justice and healing.

Laurel Collins, MP

Randall Garrison, MP

NDP Environment and Climate Change Critic

NDP Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity and Expression Critic

250-363-3600 / laurelcollins.ndp.ca

250-405-6550 / randallgarrison.ndp.ca

VICTORIA

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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RESOURCE GUIDE

ESQUIMALT–SAANICH–SOOKE

survive – strive – thrive

Federal government can and must do more to stop intimate partner violence

By MP Randall Garrison, Esquimalt-Saanich-Sooke, NDP Justice Critic

E

Bill C-247,

arly in the pandemic, I heard from both This spring, as a member of the House tabled as a private front-line service organisations and poof Commons Standing Committee on member’s bill in fall 2020, lice here in Esquimalt-Saanich-Sooke Justice and Human Rights, I brought calls for the creation of an that there had been a spike in domestic viothe issue of coercive control forward for offense for coercive and lence calls and that the pandemic posed new study. controlling behaviour challenges in responding as people were forced The Justice committee gave unaniin the criminal mous, all-party support for the resulting to isolate and shelter at home. report, which requires legislation adding Unfortunately, these observations from local code. coercive and controlling behaviour to the service providers and law enforcement proved to be criminal code to be brought forward by the part of a devastating spike in intimate partner violence government within a year and for other measures to across Canada over the past year. In response, I put forward ensure support for victims. legislation, Bill C-247, which would address a very serious gap Similar legislation was adopted in the United Kingdom, and by adding coercive and controlling behaviour to the criminal we can see that it has been a precise and useful tool for victims, code. advocates, and law enforcement to ensure the safety of victims Bill C-247, which I tabled as a private member’s bill in the and their families and to address the harm caused by coercive fall of 2020, calls for the creation of an offense for coercive and and controlling behaviour in intimate partner relationships. controlling behaviour in the criminal code. Creating this new I will continue to advocate for victims and work hard to make offence will help stop serious harm already being inflicted on sure we address this gap in our toolkit for addressing intimate intimate partners and it would also allow police to take action partner violence. before things escalate to physical violence.

Men’s Therapy Centre supports survivors of violence

F

tion, mental health support, and access or far too long heard, and they deserve to other community resources to enour society has to have access to meansure you have everything you need to allowed the ingful support,” he says. find a way forward that is right for you. voices of survivors of “We also know that “Our first priority at the Men’s violence to go unheard. it can be immensely Therapy Centre is to ensure Often people feel like difficult to ask for supthat you feel welcomed they are not taken seriport when you have and respected in our ously, they face barriers survived trauma,” “Our first to accessing support, Sandor notes. care,” Sandor says. priority at the “We can or even blame them“This is espesupport you selves for the harm that cially true of Men’s Therapy Centre through reportthey have experienced. men, as men is to ensure that Collectively, these and mascuing processes, you feel welcomed connect you barriers prevent people line-identiand respected with community from accessing the fying folks are in our care.” resources, and support they need to often told to bury Nick Sandor(He/Him) Executive Direcprovide either oneunderstand or reconcile tor, The Men’s Therapy Centre their emotions and with the harm that has ‘man-up’. on-one or group trauma counselling.” been caused in their lives, says Nick “The truth is, no-one should have to Sandor, executive director of The Men’s navigate the impact of surviving vioConnect with the Men’s Therapy Centre at 250-381-6367 to book an Therapy Centre. lence alone. This is why organizations “All members of our community such as the Men’s Therapy Centre exist. intake appointment or learn more deserve to feel safe, they deserve to be “We can provide you with informaabout their services.

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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RESOURCE GUIDE

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MLA John Horgan | Langford-Juan de Fuca | 250-391-2801 MLA Mitzi Dean | Esquimalt-Metchosin | 250-952-5885 MLA Rob Fleming | Victoria-Swan Lake | 250-356-5013 MLA Grace Lore | Victoria-Beacon Hill | 250-952-4211 MLA Lana Popham | Saanich South | 250-479-4154 MLA Murray Rankin | Oak Bay-Gordon Head | 250-472-8528 26

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RESOURCE GUIDE

survive – strive – thrive Cowichan Valley

Resource Guide CRISIS & EMERGENCY SERVICES 24-HOUR VANCOUVER ISLAND CRISIS LINE – Provides a supportive, listening

ear for people in emotional distress and connection to emergency mental health services when needed.

• Call from anywhere on Vancouver Island: 1-888-494-3888 • Crisis Chat services (6 to 10pm nightly) at vicrisis.ca • Crisis Text number (6 to 10pm nightly) 1-250-800-3806 BC MENTAL HEALTH AND ADDICTION INFO LINE – 1-800-661-2121, 9am to 4pm,

Monday to Friday. Sponsored by Canadian Mental Health Association BC Division.

VICTIMLINKBC a toll-free, confidential,

multilingual service available across

BC and Yukon, available 24/7 by calling or texting 1-800-563-0808 or emailing VictimLinkBC@bc211.ca.

community development and education.

Transition House support line: 250-748-8544 Info: 250-748-7000 or cwav.org

HELPLINE FOR CHILDREN

LALUM’UTUL’ SMUNEEM CHILD AND FAMILY SERVICES Cowichan Tribes agency

• Phone: 310-1234 (no area code required), 24 hours every day • TTD (TelephoneDevice fortheDeaf):tollfree 1-866-660-0505

COMMUNITY RESOURCES BC211 Connects you to programs and services in your community. Info: bc211.ca or dial 2-1-1.

COWICHAN WOMEN AGAINST VIOLENCE

Providing a supportive environment primarily to women and children who have been affected by abuse. Supporting diversity, change, choice and growth through counselling, advocacy, emergency shelter,

Cowichan Valley families find support from CWAVS

T

he Cowichan Women Against Violence Society provides a variety of resources for women in the community, including Somenos House transition house, women’s housing supports, counselling and groups for both women and children and youth, advocacy and educational programs.

Programs include Stopping the Violence Counselling, providing free, confidential counselling for women experiencing violence or abuse in a current relationship or who’ve experienced an abusive or violent relationship in the past.

The Community Based Victim Services program provides crisis and emotional support, information, risk recognition and safety planning, assistance with understanding the justice system, and accompaniment to court. Supporting women and men who are victims of domestic, intimate-partner and sexualized violence, it’s suitable for those who’ve experienced recent violence or abuse as well as for family members, if needed. You don’t need to have reported the crime to receive service.

The Child & Youth Counselling Program provides individual counselling and support to children exposed to parental abuse and includes support for parents or caregivers.

Additional resources explore teen healthy relationships, pre-employment services for women who face barriers to employment related to past experiences of abuse or trauma, and Choose Respect relationships courses for men and youth.

For information, call 250-748-7000 or visit cwav.org

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supporting the well-being of Indigenous children, youth and families, especially those who are vulnerable, through child protection and family services. Info: 250746-1002 or cowichantribes.com/memberservices/children-and-families WARMLAND WOMEN’S SUPPORT SERVICES SOCIETY Providing services

and supports for survivors of intimate partner abuse and/or violence, including a Sexual Assault Response Program, Crime Victim Assistance Counselling, workshops and more. Info: warmlandwomen.org Information and Emotional Support Line: 250-710-8177.

Alistair

MacGregor MEMBER OF PARLIAMENT COWICHAN-MALAHATLANGFORD Physical, verbal, or sexual abuse at any time, at any age, or in any relationship is not ok. If you or someone you know needs help, please do not hesitate to contact my office or call VictimLinkBC toll-free, 24/7, at: 1-800-563-0808.

Duncan Office: #101-126 Ingram Street Web: www.alistairmacgregor.ndp.ca Phone: 1-866-609-9998 DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RESOURCE GUIDE

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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE / What You Need To Know

Funding supports community-based sexual assault response programs

T

he Ending Violence Association of BC is receiving an additional $10 million to assist more community-based sexual assault response service programs throughout BC. “Sexual assault and other forms of gender-based violence have devastating impacts on survivors, and that’s why government is committed to prioritizing services and supports for those impacted,” Mike Farnworth, Minister of Public Safety and Solicitor General, said in announcing the funds. “The success of the first round of this grant program was exceptional, and I’m happy we’re able to provide further support for EVA BC to administer more grants for additional programs as there is a demonstrated high-level need for these services and capacity across BC communities to deliver them.”

In March 2020, government provided EVA BC with $10 million to establish and administer a multi-year Emergency Sexual Assault Services grant program to support the delivery of co-ordinated, community-based emergency sexual assault response services in regions throughout B.C. Twenty-three organizations throughout the province received funding to support the delivery of trauma-informed and culturally appropriate response services for survivors of sexual assault.

Recognizing the substantial need for locally relevant and culturally safe supports for survivors in Indigenous communities

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“Sexual assault very often undermines survivors’ ability to feel safe in the world, be intimate, have relationships, find enjoyment in life, earn an income – all basic human rights most people take for granted.”

– Tracy Porteous, co-executive director, Ending Violence Association of BC

in BC, approximately half of the grant funding was allocated to an Indigenous services stream led by Indigenous leaders. The other half was allocated to a general services stream.

“Our province should be a safe place for all of us, and yet over half the women in BC have experienced physical or sexual violence since the age of 16. That’s more than one million women in our province,” said Grace Lore, Parliamentary Secretary for Gender Equity. “Sexual assault response services that are trauma informed, survivor centred and culturally appropriate can make a huge difference for people when they need it most.”

This additional $10 million will allow EVA BC to fund additional programs.

“Sexual assault very often undermines survivors’ ability to feel safe in the world, be intimate, have relationships, find enjoyment in life, earn an income – all basic human

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RESOURCE GUIDE

rights most people take for granted,” said Tracy Porteous, co-executive director, Ending Violence Association of BC. “If it is truly our collective intention to encourage more survivors to come forward, in order that more survivors have access to psychological assistance and care, so that the life-altering traumatic effects can be mitigated, then we need to make sure that there are services in communities on the ground across BC,” Porteous said, noting the government’s funding is providing concrete support for thousands of survivors through specialized services that skilfully respond to and foster healing.

“There is growing public awareness as a result of the #Metoo movement, the report from the National Inquiry into Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women and Girls and other such calls to action that have brought us to this momentous place, where the Province is putting money and resources into the hands of service providers that are ready to support survivors,” added Ninu Kang, co-executive director, Ending Violence Association of BC. “We applaud this government’s continued commitment to the provision of support for survivors of sexual violence across BC. We applaud, too, those who have stepped forward to offer services in communities, large and small, Indigenous and non-Indigenous. It is this collective effort, everyone working together, that will make the most difference in the lives of survivors.”

survive – strive – thrive Greater Victoria

Resource Guide CRISIS & EMERGENCY SERVICES 24-HOUR CRISIS AND INFORMATION LINE

Provided by Victoria Women’s Transition House Society, the line provides support and information for women who are either experiencing abuse, or who have experienced abuse, as well as for family members, friends, and professionals.

Operated by staff and trained volunteers.

Crisis Line: 250-385-6611 Info: transitionhouse.net/get-help ANNIE’S PLACE Serving Sooke and

surrounding communities including Port Renfrew, the Sooke Transition House Society provides emergency shelter for women and their children escaping domestic or relationship violence. Will accept male children up to 16 years

CRISIS AND SUPPORT LINES 24-HOUR VANCOUVER ISLAND CRISIS LINE – The Vancouver Island Crisis Line

provides a supportive, listening ear for people in emotional distress and connection to emergency mental health services when needed.

• Call from anywhere on Vancouver Island: 1-888-494-3888 • Crisis Chat services (6 to 10pm nightly) at vicrisis.ca • Crisis Text number (6 to 10pm nightly) 1-250-800-3806 BC211 Connects you to programs and services in your community. Info: bc211. ca or dial 2-1-1.

BC MENTAL HEALTH AND ADDICTION INFO LINE – 1-800-661-2121, 9am to

4pm, Monday to Friday. Sponsored by Canadian Mental Health Association BC Division.

HELPLINE FOR CHILDREN

• Phone: 310-1234 (no area code required), 24 hours every day

old. Not wheelchair accessible; cannot accommodate pets. Info: 250-642-2591 or sooketransitionhousesociety.com CRIDGE TRANSITION HOUSE FOR WOMEN

The Cridge Centre for the Family provides first-stage transition housing for women with or without children escaping family violence or relationship abuse. Accepts male children up to age 12, or on a case-by-case basis. Also provides supportive counselling, connections to community supports and support in meeting the needs of children.

Can’t take pets, but will help clients find a place to board pets. Info: 24-hours 250-4793963 or cridge.org/cthw VICTORIA WOMEN’S TRANSITION HOUSE

Find safe, supportive accommodation for up to 18 women (including transgender women) of all ages, with or without • TTD (TelephoneDevice fortheDeaf):tollfree 1-866-660-0505 SENIORS ABUSE & INFORMATION LINE (SAIL) Toll-free phone line that’s a safe

place for older adults and those who care about them to talk about situations where they feel they’re being abused or mistreated, or to get information about elder abuse prevention. Info: 1-866-4371940.

READ THE GUIDE ON OUR E-EDITION AT VICNEWS.COM

YOUTH AGAINST VIOLENCE LINE Call

1-800-680-4264 and talk one-on-one to a support worker, available 24/7, or e-mail info@youthagainstviolenceline.com

BRIDGES FOR WOMEN – Provides

multilingual service available across BC and Yukon, available 24/7 by calling or texting 1-800-563-0808 or emailing VictimLinkBC@bc211.ca. Find information and referral services for all victims of crime and immediate crisis support to victims of family and sexual violence, including victims of human trafficking exploited for labour or sexual services.

shelter, counselling, support and referrals for women experiencing intimate partner violence and abuse or who have experienced this in the past. Info: transitionhouse.net or 250-385-6611.

ISLANDERS WORKING AGAINST VIOLENCE

Serving Southern Gulf Islands women and their children affected by poverty, violence and abuse. 24-hour Violence & Abuse Helpline: 1-877-435-7544 or 250-537-0735 Info: iwav.org/transition-house

COMMUNITY RESOURCES

VICTIMLINKBC a toll-free, confidential,

VICTORIA WOMEN’S TRANSITION HOUSE – Providing resources including

children, who are escaping intimate relationship abuse. Accepts male children age 18 and younger, if still a dependent.

Also provides support and counselling services, community service referrals, child care and children’s programs, and assistance with transportation to appointments.

Services are available at no cost. Wheelchair accessible. Cannot accommodate pets, but will arrange for fostering when space is available. 24-hour crisis line: 250-385-6611 Info: transitionhouse.net/our-programs/ facilities-shelter

trauma-informed counselling and healingfocused pre-employment programs to self-identified women, non-binary people and two-spirit people who identify with the women’s community. Supporting clients to identify and overcome effects of trauma and work toward personal and professional goals. Info: 250-385-7410 or bridgesforwomen.ca BC SOCIETY OF TRANSITION HOUSES

A member-based, provincial umbrella organization that works to enhance the continuum of services and strategies to respond to, prevent and end violence against women, children and youth.

Info: bcsth.ca ESQUIMALT MILITARY FAMILY RESOURCE CENTRE – A community-

based organization with the sole DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RESOURCE GUIDE

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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE / What You Need To Know responsibility of addressing the needs of the military family and medically released members and their families.

Professional, caring prevention, support and intervention issues, relocation, the military lifestyle, and a variety of shortterm crisis situations, in addition to quality referrals to outside counselling resources and specialized counsellors. Info: 250-3632640, esquimaltmfrc.com FAMILY CAREGIVERS OF BRITISH COLUMBIA A registered non-profit

dedicated to helping family caregivers with free one-to-one and peer support, including emotional support; help navigating the healthcare system; community liaison; and tools, resources, and information and referral to community resources and more. Info: familycaregiversbc.ca, 250-384-0408 FAMILY SERVICES OF GREATER VICTORIA Agency for all family members

facing change and challenges in their relationships. FSGV’s professional staff combine current knowledge with training to provide a wide range of caring, timely, and effective services. Info: 250-3864331 or fsgv.org INTER-CULTURAL ASSOCIATION OF GREATER VICTORIA Services for

immigrant and refugee newcomers, including settlement and integration services, translation and interpretation, English classes, mentoring, job search assistance and guidance, volunteer matching and peer support, plus outreach and education in the community, and community development workshops on anti-racism, multiculturalism, diversity awareness, immigration and human rights.

Info: 250-388-4728 or icavictoria.org PACIFIC CENTRE FAMILY SERVICES ASSOCIATION – Promoting dignity and

quality of life for families and individuals across Greater Victoria, especially on the West Shore, through education, counselling and creative programming since 1968. Find a wide range of vital services for people dealing with substance use, mental health issues, and day-today life challenges. Info: 250-478-8357, pacificcentrefamilyservices.org SOOKE FAMILY RESOURCE SOCIETY –

Providing a wide range of supports for those in need from Port Renfrew to the Greater 30

Victoria area. Info: 105 – 2145 Townsend Rd., 250-642-5152, sfrs.ca VICTORIA NATIVE FRIENDSHIP CENTRE – Dedicated to improving the quality of

life for Indigenous people in the Greater Victoria area, the Friendship Centre offers a variety of programs, including career, education and employment resources, family service, a wellness clinic, community support, addictions counsellors and more. 231 Regina Ave. Info: 250-3843211, vnfc.ca.

RESOURCES FOR SENIORS OFFICE OF THE SENIORS ADVOCATE

Monitors and reviews system-wide issues affecting the well-being of seniors and raises awareness about available resources, and makes recommendations to government and others who deliver seniors’ services related to health care, personal care, housing, transportation and income support. Website has a ‘Residential Care Quick Facts Directory’ that lists information for publicly subsidized residential care facilities in BC. Translation services are available. Hours are 8:30 am to 4:30 pm Monday to Friday.

Info: 250-952-3181, 1-877-952-3181, seniorsadvocatebc.ca ASSISTED LIVING REGISTRAR Investigates complaints about the health and safety of assisted living residents. Call 1-866-7143378, 250 952-1369 in Victoria or www2. gov.bc.ca/gov/content/health/assistedliving-in-bc/assisted-living-registry SENIORS FIRST BC Formerly knowns

as the BC Centre for Elder Advocacy & Support, the organization works to protect the legal rights of older adults, increase access to justice for older adults, inform the public about elder abuse and provide supportive programs for older adults who have been abused. Info: seniorsfirstbc.ca SENIORSBC.CA Providing information on

services and programs for seniors offered by the BC and federal governments and non-profit organizations, as well as information on health, finances, benefits, housing, transportation, tips for healthy living and more. Info: seniorsbc.ca GREATER VICTORIA ELDERCARE FOUNDATION – A registered charity

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RESOURCE GUIDE

working to provide seniors with health and medical equipment and facilities, and related support programs, activities and services; provide information on available care, support services and resources for seniors; improve care and the quality of life of seniors. Info: gvef.org or 250-3705664.

OLDER WOMEN’S OUTREACH AND SAFE HOME PROGRAM Victoria

Women’s Transition House Society program providing safe, supportive accommodation for women ages 50+, including transgender women.

Emergency shelter, support and advocacy services; individual counselling and support groups are available. Info: 250-592-2927; Older Women’s Support Group – 250-592-2927 Local 223 or transitionhouse.net/our-programs/ counselling-support SENIORS SERVING SENIORS Provides programs and services to Greater Victoria seniors. Senior Link phone line provides comprehensive information and referral to resources for seniors available throughout the region. May provide shopping and delivery for groceries and medication, social reassurance calls, and sometimes driving for essential appointments. Info: 250-413-3211, seniorsservingseniors.bc.ca OAK BAY VOLUNTEER SERVICES Free one-to-one services to those in need in the municipality of Oak Bay, helping maintain and improve quality of life and ensuring residents can continue to live in the homes they love, receive assistance for maintaining independent living and are surrounded by a community that cares. Providing shopping and delivery, medical drives, social and wellness check phone calls and more. Info: oakbayvolunteers.org, 250-595-1034.

SENIORS ABUSE & INFORMATION LINE (SAIL) A toll-free phone line that’s a safe

place for older adults, and those who care about them, to talk to someone about situations where they feel they are being abused or mistreated, or to receive information about elder abuse prevention.

1-866-437-1940.

SAANICH VOLUNTEER SERVICES

Promotes independent living and enhances quality of life for Saanich

survive – strive – thrive residents by providing coordinated volunteer services and connection to community resources. Supported transportation, friendship calls, grocery shopping and delivery, prepared meal delivery, light yard work, companion visits and more. Info: saanichvolunteers. org, 250-595-8008.

SHOAL CENTRE FOR SENIORS From Beacon Community Services, this community centre for seniors 55+ provides recreation and fitness services, arts, information about community resources for seniors and caregivers, and more. Info: 250-656-5537, beaconcs.ca/ services-programs/shoal-centre-for-seniors

HOUSING SUPPORTS CRIDGE SUPPORTIVE TRANSITIONAL HOUSING Providing low-rent transitional

family housing in a supportive community setting. Second-stage housing units available for women with or without children who’ve left relationship violence, and for immigrant and refugee families who’ve survived violence in their homelands. Cridge Dovetail Services provide counselling to residents regarding relationship violence, as well as parenting, budgeting, goal setting and personal issues. Residents are required to access at least one Dovetail program per year. Supportive Transitional Housing: 250-995-6418; Dovetail Services: 250-995-6404; cridge.org/supportivetransitional-housing COOPERATIVE HOUSING FEDERATION OF BC – VICTORIA OFFICE Representing

housing co-ops, the organization administers two programs providing interest-free loans to help cover the cost of co-op membership shares, payable upon acceptance as a member of a housing co-op: Co-op Housing Disability Trust, for individuals with permanent disabilities, and Domestic Violence Relief Fund, for women leaving abusive relationships. Info: 250-384-9444, orchf.bc.ca THIRD STAGE HOUSING Victoria Women’s Transition House Society program provides up to three years of supportive, transitional housing for single older women ages 45 to 65 who’ve left abusive relationships.

Supports include counselling, life skills

training, and activities, life goal-setting, financial education and a safety net. Info: 250-385-2103 or transitionhouse.net/ our-programs/homelessness-preventionprograms/ MARGARET LAURENCE HOUSE Also

known as the Greater Victoria Women’s Shelter Society, providing second-stage housing to women and their children, including transgender women, who have left abusive intimate partner relationships.

Also provides support, counselling and advocacy services. Info: 250-995-0058 or margaretlaurencehouse.org

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES BC GOVERNMENT PUBLIC SAFETY & EMERGENCY SERVICES Information and

resources about gender-based violence, sexual assault and domestic violence: www2.gov.bc.ca/gov/content/safety/ public-safety/domestic-violence BRITISH COLUMBIA SOCIETY FOR MALE SURVIVORS OF SEXUAL ABUSE Providing

therapeutic services for males who have been sexually abused at some time in their lives. Info: 604-682-6482 or bcmalesurvivors.com ENDING VIOLENCE ASSOCIATION OF BC

Solutions-based provincial association providing training and support for anti-violence programs and cross-sector initiatives that respond to sexual and domestic violence, child abuse and criminal harassment. Info: 604-633-2506 or endingviolence.org

approach among various agencies to prevent and respond to family violence.

Learn more at canada.ca/en/public-health

providing clinical and education services, including sexual health clinical care, primary care for priority populations, community education and a retail store that carries gender affirming apparel such as binders, packers, gaffs (including children’s), and underwear and products for pleasure and sexual health. Info: islandsexualhealth.org or 250-592-3479.

READ THE GUIDE ON OUR E-EDITION AT VICNEWS.COM

man who has experienced emotional, sexual or physical trauma as a child or adult, including support through reporting processes, connections with community resources, and either one-onone or group trauma counselling. Info: 250-381-6367 or menstrauma.com SPOUSAL ASSAULT VICTIM SUPPORT PROGRAM Victoria Transition House

Society program providing specialized victim assistance for victims of assault, threats, or criminal harassment by an intimate partner or ex-partner, including support and assistance with court orientation and court accompaniment, liaison with criminal justice personnel, developing a safety plan, and victim impact statements. Info: Victim Service Worker (Victoria): 250-356-1201; (Western Communities): 250-391-2864.

Office: 250-592-2927. transitionhouse. net/our-programs/counselling-support VICTORIA CHILD ABUSE PREVENTION & COUNSELLING CENTRE Also knowns as

the Mary Manning Centre, it responds to children, youth and families who affected by child abuse, as well as trauma from abuse or from witnessing family violence.

Individual and group sessions for children and youth, plus group sessions for nonoffending parents. Info: 250-385-6111 or vcapcc.com VICTORIA SEXUAL ASSAULT CENTRE A

GOVERNMENT OF CANADA’S FAMILY VIOLENCE INITIATIVE – A collaborative

ISLAND SEXUAL HEALTH COMMUNITY HEALTH CENTRE – Non-profit agency

MEN’S THERAPY CENTRE Support for any

feminist organization committed to ending sexualized violence through healing, education and prevention. Dedicated to supporting women and all Trans survivors of sexual assault and childhood sexual abuse, through advocacy, counselling and empowerment. Info: 250-383-3232 or vsac.ca PROTECTION ORDER REGISTRY Provided by the Ministry of Attorney General, this confidential database contains all civil and criminal protection orders issued in BC, ensuring police have 24-hour access to accurate, current information on peace bonds and civil restraining orders. People who’ve obtained protection orders can call via VictimLink BC to ensure their order is registered: 1-800-563-0808, www2.gov.bc.ca/gov/content/safety/ crime-prevention/protection-order-registry

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HELP STARTS HERE DIAL or TEXT 2-1-1 bc211.ca