Special Features - Wave December 2016

PEOPLE | COMMUNITY | CULTURE

DECEMBER 2016

E E R F

The Wave is Campbell River’s leading lifestyle magazine.

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[2] WAVE MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2016

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contents DECEMBER 2016 | ISSUE #18

5

A DIFFERENT KIND OF CHRISTMAS

Reframing the typical social views on the holidays

11

CHRISTMAS TREES Real or fake aren’t the only two choices

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DREAMING OF A GREEN CHRISTMAS Ecologically friendly and sustainable holiday

17

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Local counsellor wants to reframe the typical social views on the holidays The holiday season is, for many, a time of joy, family, friends and the celebration of these things. For others, this particular time of year is not nearly so cheerful.

As a counsellor, Fran Ferguson knows better than most, the struggles that some people go through – struggles that tend to be made even more difficult as they approach the holiday season in December.

“There are a lot – a lot – of people who are alone, for a whole variety of reasons,” Ferguson says, as she sits in one of the many comfortable chairs in her home office out on McGimpsey Road, just south of Campbell River, where she has her practice. “They might have lost a spouse, a child, a sibling – or their family changed through divorce or any number of other ways – and Christmas and the holidays, especially for those people, are a very hard time.” She knows this from seeing it first hand over her almost two decades in the field.

HER CAREER After spending most of her life in two other careers, Ferguson was what you might call a “late arrival” in the counselling world.

In fact, she only began her formal education and training in the field at the age of 35. She started with a bachelor’s degree in psychology before moving on to get her master’s degree specializing

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in counselling, because, as she puts it, “I found myself interested in other people’s stories – how they got to where they are – as well as how resilient people are, the struggles they’ve had and what makes for meaningful change versus being stuck in the struggle.”

Her interest in what makes people tick, combined with the fact that, “people seemed drawn to me to talk about issues in their life,” made counselling, she says, “a natural step.”

And now she’s been at it for 18 years.

Though she’s had experience in counselling everyone from young children to the elderly and everyone in between, she says she works “extensively with couples, from pre-marital counselling to working through any difficulties couples face in their relationship, including betrayals and affairs, right through to separation, divorce, and the aftermath of those life changes.”

Most people would agree that we all need a little help once in a while, even if it’s

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just someone to talk to about things that are bothering us.

So why don’t more people make use of those few who are extensively trained in listening?

People are still reluctant to reach out to a counsellor, Ferguson says, because there is still a stigma attached to asking for help.

Many see asking for help as weakness – like being unable to cope makes them less of a person.

“My view is that life throws out plenty of challenges and difficulties,” Ferguson says, “and it’s very helpful to reach out for help with them. People may be reluctant to reach out to a counsellor, but it can be super valuable – and a lot healthier way of dealing with emotional difficulties than alcohol, drugs, food or the many other non-effective ways of coping people often engage in when they’re struggling.”

A DIFFERENT KIND OF CHRISTMAS Since she spends a good amount of her time speaking – and more importantly, listening – to people who are struggling emotionally, and seeing that people tend to emotionally struggle in even larger numbers and with even greater difficulty around the holidays, last year Ferguson started an initiative she calls “A Different Kind of Christmas.”

“It was very much an experiment, partly born out of my own experience and partly born out of what I’d also been hearing from clients,” Ferguson says.

You see, 15 or so years ago, when she and her husband moved out to this side of the country from their previous life in Manitoba, “what we found was that the tables were full,” she says. “People had their own family and friends already, so we found it incredibly difficult. I’d come from a large extended family and there was all that typical,

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large celebratory aspect to the holidays in my life for a long time.”

gather and talk to each other, just to feel a little less disconnected.

And then one year, when they didn’t feel like cooking Christmas dinner for two, they went to a local hotel for dinner, instead.

“And then I started setting up coffee meet-ups at local coffee shops, just as an opportunity for the group members to actually meet each other in person and celebrate the season a little bit,” she says.

The in-person gatherings gained traction with people and slowly turned into crafting sessions, baking sessions and other typical holiday activities that people said they were missing from their lives.

“And I looked around, and the people there were – well, let’s just say they were not happy people,” she says.

“You could see the loneliness dripping off of them.

So, thinking about that last fall, I was thinking maybe we could gather some people together for Christmas dinner.”

The idea morphed from there, though. It became less about opening their doors and welcoming strangers to their table and more about the message – and the ideal of Christmas – itself.

She started a closed Facebook page called “A Different Kind of Christmas,” where people could virtually

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While they were having coffee meet-ups and making crafts here in Campbell River, the Facebook group was growing.

Soon the group contained members from as far away as Cape Breton and New York.

“What ended up happening is the group became a sort of online support group for people to talk and explain their situation and share with each other, and discuss what people are doing to help themselves during these emotionally difficult times,” she says.

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“People started sharing stories, sharing poems, sharing photographs, sharing memories, and what was even cooler,” she adds with a smile, “is that people started saying, ‘I’d like to get this started in my own community.

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MAYBE PEOPLE ARE READY FOR A CHANGE Ferguson thinks part of why the idea caught on is just the simplicity of it.

“It’s just about making connections – personal connections,” she says.

Those connections are important, and the need is there for them all the time, but when those connections aren’t there, the pain from that is more poignant during the holidays.

That pain, Ferguson says, is driven by expectation.

“There are a lot of expectations around the holidays, even if we’re not aware of them,” Ferguson says.

“You’re ‘supposed’ to be happy. Things are ‘supposed’ to be a certain way. Whether those expectations are self-imposed or imposed by others, the expectations

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“When I started this, I had no expectation about how big it would get or even how it would go. I just thought I’d offer it to the world and see what would happen.”

are that everything needs to be perfect, and that’s just not an ideal that people can live up to, in most cases.”

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

“That’s, I think, the word that we need to spread,” Ferguson says. “It really doesn’t have to be that way.

It’s hard to fight against the big retail establishments and their marketing plans, but if I can be one small voice that says we don’t have to do it that way – that we can just create something meaningful, I’ll be that voice.”

“My own view is that it’s the little things that are meaningful,” she continues. “It’s the time spent with someone you care about – whether that’s a friend

or your family or kids or whoever it is. It’s not about the value of the present you get – that’s not what we remember about times that are meaningful to us.”

And so that’s what she’s trying to do. Create meaningful times. “It’s just about planting seeds and watching them grow,” she says.

“If nothing else, I just want to create inspiration for people to do something differently – to create something meaningful to them. It’s not up to me to tell them what that should be. I’m giving people, I suppose, the opportunity to create a different kind of Christmas for themselves, whatever they want that to look like.”

And maybe people are ready to do just that.

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Christmas trees may be the quintessential decoration of the holiday season, often erected in front windows gleaming with decorations, trinkets and lights. A ton of thought goes into selecting a tree and turning it into the centerpiece of a celebration.

Those celebrating the holiday with no personal preference may struggle with the decision to buy an artificial or real tree.

Those who opt for a real tree may think their only options are the cut trees available at local tree lots. But those interested in a tree that will last far beyond the holiday season can select a potted Christmas tree, all the while adding an eco-conscious element to their holiday celebrations.

Selecting a live tree is an environmentally sound choice, especially trees that have their roots intact, as they can be transplanted outdoors after the season. This reduces the waste associated with tree disposal and provides various benefits to the environment, as the trees act as a natural air filter while providing shade and wind barriers. An evergreen tree, which remains lush and green all year long, is also an ideal habitat for backyard creatures. Trees help control excessive moisture issues in the soil by drawing up water for survival, and can help prevent erosion of soil in more arid climates.

Caring for a potted tree takes a bit more effort than a standard cut tree, however, but can be very rewarding for those who make that choice.

DECEMBER 2016 | WAVE MAGAZINE [11]

There are a few steps that need to be taken to ensure its postChristmas survival.

• Purchase the tree several weeks in advance of the holidays, and water the tree frequently and keep it outdoors in the cool weather in the weeks leading up to the holiday.

• Select a tree variety that is hardy to the specific zone in which you live and will acclimate to the climate and soil conditions. A local nursery should be able to guide you to the right evergreen.

• Because you intend to plant this tree after the holidays, it is a good idea to choose the location where the tree will eventually grow and dig the hole as early as possible before the ground freezes and becomes difficult to excavate.

Consider digging the hole in the autumn and then filling it with leaves or a tarp until the time comes to plant the tree.

• Roughly two weeks before Christmas, you will need to

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transition the tree for indoor use. Neglecting this step may result in shock to the tree, which can cause it to wilt or die. Place the tree inside of a garage or a shed where it is generally warmer than outside but not yet room temperature. After this two-week period, move the tree inside where it will have a place of honour for festivities. Do not leave the tree inside the house for more than 10 days. It will need to be moved back into the garage and then outside before planting.

• Many evergreens are durable, and the majority of the decorations you use on the tree should not harm it, but be careful not to tug or break branches.

Use small lights that do not generate much heat; otherwise, you risk damaging the boughs with burns.

• When the tree is indoors, it’s also essential to keep it in an area that gets filtered sunlight and is away from heating vents that may dry it out. A spot in front of the front window may be the best location.

Potted Christmas trees make an eco-friendly addition to holiday traditions.

They can be planted year after year, adding some aesthetic appeal to the backyard while benefiting the environment.

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DREAMING of a

GREEN CHRISTMAS

While the iconic Christmas song we’re all familiar with is all about dreaming of a white Christmas, many these days are doing their best to have a holiday season that is actually more green.

The colour is, in some ways, synonymous with the holiday season, as Christmas trees, mistletoe and holiday wreaths feature prominently. But there are ways to make this holiday season even greener

– both in saving the amount of metaphoric “green” in your wallet and being more ecologically friendly and sustainable.

Going green around the house can save homeowners substantial amounts of money and benefit the planet in various ways. Yet come the holiday season, many people unintentionally eschew eco-friendly practices in an effort to make their

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homes as festive as possible. Fortunately, there are several ways to enjoy an eco-friendly (and bank account friendly) holiday season.

CHOOSE LED HOLIDAY LIGHTS Holiday lighting displays help make the season even more special. But traditional incandescent holiday lights consume considerable amounts of energy and burn out much more quickly than more eco-friendly alternatives. LED holiday lights consume less energy than incandescent holiday lights, and they’re also safer because LED lights burn cool, reducing the risk of combustion.

In addition, LED lights are more resistant to breaking than incandescent bulbs, which should please homeowners who want to avoid broken or burned out bulbs that can ruin holiday lighting displays.

GET CREATIVE WITH WRAPPING PAPER Household waste increases by 25 percent over the holiday season, by some estimates, and much of that waste is wrapping paper. Instead of purchasing holiday wrapping paper that will ultimately end up in landfills, wrap gifts in reusable gift bags or old newspapers lying around the house. If you must use wrapping paper, choose recycled paper. It also saves both money and the environment to save bows, ribbons and undamaged wrapping paper to use again next season (or for craft projects throughout the year).

conditions inside the home more comfortable.

Extra bodies inside the house will warm the place up, allowing homeowners to turn down the thermostat during parties. And if you’re traveling for the season, program your thermostat so you’re not heating an empty home.

SEND E-CARDS Holiday cards are a tradition in many families.

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Along those same lines, try to choose gifts with minimal packaging when shopping for friends and family. Many toys, especially, seem to come in bags inside of boxes inside of other bags. If you really want to make a statement with the “greening” of your holidays, tell companies you want them to be less wasteful – by “voting with your wallet,” as they say.

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STORY BY JOCELYN DOLL

’Twas the weeks before Christmas, and all through the city, Riverites gathered and generosity ran freely.

Each year thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours are donated by the people of Campbell River to make sure everyone from the animals at the SPCA to the kids who might not otherwise get presents to the seniors who might spend Christmas alone, have a happy holiday season.

Cards were chosen from the Angel Tree with care, to show that during hard times someone would be there.

The Angel Tree has been a Christmas tradition in Campbell River for so long that children who received gifts from the project when they were young have come back and donated gifts to the project as adults.

Dawn Hamilton, coordinator of the project, figures it is around 32 years.

Each year Hamilton approaches the designated agencies in town and asks them to fill out applications for families who are in need of extra support during the holiday season.

The workers provide Hamilton with details about the

childrens’ needs, including clothing and shoe sizes, as well as wants and interests. Hamilton writes the information down on a card and hangs the cards from a Christmas tree in the Coastal Discovery Inn’s lobby.

This year the tree will be going up on December 2.

When someone has chosen a card from the tree, they have until December 11 to shop for the child they picked and return the gifts to the inn. Hamilton said some people buy everything that was on the tag and others pick one want and one need.

Once all of the donations are gathered, Hamilton and her assistants go through the gifts to make sure the child gets everything they need and that they get similar amounts of things to their siblings who also had a card on the tree.

Luckily, people, businesses and organizations within the community donate gifts and money, not associated with a specific child. Hamilton said they often have the resources to complete each child’s list.

After everything is sorted, the volunteers come in and do the wrapping. Last year the group gathered

DECEMBER 2016 | WAVE MAGAZINE [17]

information about the children who would be interested in owning a bike and they match a bike up to a child.

“And then the child gets a bike for Christmas!” Hamilton says.

For the second year in a row, Angel Tree has also partnered with The Christmas Pajama Drive. Based on a 6-year-old kid’s wish that every child should have new pajamas to wear to bed on Christmas Eve, the pajama project came to Campbell River through Chances Playtime, who collected the new pajamas and donated them to the Angel Tree project.

Campbell River Dance Extreme runs a mini Angel Tree of their own and puts together toiletry bags for teens and donates them to Angel Tree to be included as gifts.

Quality Foods and the staff at CIBC raise money throughout the year to donate to Angel Tree.

“It’s a community effort,” Hamilton says proudly. garbage bags full of new, donated, gifts, that were then wrapped by volunteers, for 385 kids.

Hamilton took over the project six years ago, when the previous coordinator stepped down. She works for Family Services, one of the organizations that benefits from Angel Tree. She knew how important the project was and didn’t want to see it come to an end, so she, as well as her co-workers, stepped up to volunteer.

“We are just so passionate about the program,” she says.

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When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, but truckloads of food and excited volunteers.

Another long standing Campbell River holiday season tradition, are the Christmas Hampers.

Starting early in November, the community donates food and money to the Hamper fund at 1100 Homewood Road. On December 17 easily 100 volunteers show up to pack and deliver the food hampers, with the Knights of Columbus overseeing it all. Last year there was a hamper out the back door every 22 seconds.

“The community gives us the money, or the toys or the food to make the hampers, the community builds the hampers, the community delivers the hampers,” says Kevin Gearey, organizer. “The Knights simply provide the framework and the logistics and so on.”

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The experienced volunteers show up early on packing day to claim their shopping cart, which they then fill with the items that have been donated so that it can be packed up and delivered by whoever requested it.

Anyone who fills out an application, which are available at the Income Assistance Office at 833a 14th Ave, receives a hamper. Last year there were 1,190 hampers. Gearey says they would never have time to go through all of the applications and determine who actually needs one. He feels he doesn’t have the right to determine need anyway. In some cases there may be a psychological need but not a financial need, and he is perfectly okay with that.

Gearey has never done deliveries, but he has been in the warehouse the next day when the people who weren’t home to receive their hamper come to pick it up. He has seen tears. He has heard extremely grateful people say “This is my Christmas.”

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“When you see things like this happen you figure ‘you know what? It doesn’t matter.

The overall good outweighs some jerks that are just going along for the ride’,” he says.

So up to the house-top the courses they flew, with a sleigh full of gifts for vulnerable women too.

Alison Skrepneck came across The Shoebox Project on Canada AM four years ago and decided she should bring it to Campbell River.

The project distributes shoeboxes with $50 worth of gifts to vulnerable women in the community.

The gifts inside the shoeboxes can be anything from necessities likes shampoo and deodorant to small luxuries like nail polish or candies. “We just ask people to put in things that they would enjoy,” Skrepneck says.

The first year she worked only with the North Island Transition Society, as the Shoebox Project was originally intended to distribute gifts to homeless or at risk women. But now it has grown to include other organizations in town that work with vulnerable women. Some who spend any extra money they have on their children and never on themselves.

The response in the community has been amazing. “We have gone over our goal each year,” Skrepneck says. The goal is determined by the agencies Skrepneck works with. She contacts each one early in the fall and asks how many shoeboxes they think they will need.

From November 12 to December 2 people drop off the shoeboxes. Skrepneck then goes through each box to make sure there is no alcohol or razors and that everything is nut free. She and other volunteers decorate the boxes and then take them to the agencies who then distribute them.

Last year Skrepneck was invited to a luncheon where the shoeboxes were handed out. She says it was wonderful to be a part of and to see the positive responses from the women.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the street, the singing and ringing of the Kettle Bells keep.

The Salvation Army’s Kettle Bells campaign requires 34 volunteers per day starting on November 24 and ending on December 24.

Volunteers solicit donations and draw attention to the fundraising campaign by singing, playing an instrument or just by politely greeting and thanking passersby.

“They don’t have to all be in tune, they can just go and have fun and it draws attention,” says Tami Ness, volunteer coordinator for the Salvation Army.

Ness said for some families, organizations and service clubs doing shifts on a kettle has become a holiday tradition.

One year there was a young girl who practiced her violin by a kettle, Ness says . She had only just started learning to play the instrument but by practicing her scales and notes next to that kettle for the two hour shift, she garnered a lot of attention.

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Last year the campaign raised around $70,000 and Ness said they hope to do the same again this year. All of the money raised goes to the Salvation Army’s local initiatives including the Lighthouse soup kitchen and Emergency Family Services among others.

She was dressed all in red, from her head to her toe, and on her lap were furry dogs, running the show.

Another charity that benefits every year during the holiday season is the SPCA. On December 10 from 12-4 p.m.

Dogwood Petmart is once again offering pet photos on Mrs. Clauses lap for donations. “We give to them all year long, but Christmas time is a special time,” says Gregory Janicki, owner of Dogwood Petmart.

he survived 35 days of radiation and chemotherapy treatment, he has been cancer free ever since and that bout with the illness made him grateful for a second chance and more motivated than ever to give back. “It gives me an extra sense of, every year going forward, the good that we can do to whatever extent we can… we realize that not every day is Christmas but it would be nice if we could keep that spirit of giving more into every day of the year,” he says.

He says that in the four hours, around 150 pets get their photo taken and it is an all around fun event. Dogwood Petmart covers the cost of the photographer, and everyones donations go straight to the SPCA. But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight, “Happy Canadian Country Christmas to all, and to all a good night.”

The Canadian Country Christmas tour all started with “It’s Called Christmas Time,” a song that Sean Hogan wrote in 2004 that was inspired by “Do they know it’s Christmas,” the Christmas song from Band-Aid for the famine in Ethiopia in 1984.

“A lot of great British pop singers, at the time, did the song to help the famine in Africa,” Hogan says. “I thought, wouldn’t it be great if with this song I asked my other fellow country artists to sing with me on this particular song, different lines.”

With a Christmas song in his back pocket, Hogan decided to give back to the communities that played his songs so religiously on the radio.

The Canadian Country Christmas tour was born.

The first set is country music and the second is Christmas songs. Hogan has invited over 30 different artists on tour with him over the years. This year he will be joined by Thomas Wade and Jamie Warren, with on Island appearances by Sue Medley and local band Non Stop Talk.

Hogan has only ever missed the tour once. In 2011

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Ingredients: 1 cup butter, softened 1/2 cup confectioners’ sugar 1/4 cup cornstarch 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour Preheat the oven to 375 degrees Whip butter with an electric mixer until fluffy.

Stir in the confectioners’ sugar, cornstarch, and flour. Beat on low for one minute, then on high for 3 to 4 minutes.

Drop cookies by spoonfuls 2 inches apart on an ungreased cookie sheet.

Bake for 12 to 15 minutes.

Watch that the edges don’t brown too much.

Cool on wire racks.

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