Special Features - As We Age January 2016 Edition

asweage∙ January/february 2016

A monthly guide to events, resources and services for Mission Seniors

Love stands the test of time

KEVIN MILLS PHOTO

Gayle and Bob Ingram have been together for 52 years and say their marriage has only become better, deeper and stronger. The Mission couple have always found a way to work out their differences and ensure they make time for family and each other. With Valentine’s Day just two weeks away, we take a look at a love that has lasted through the decades.

For more on the Ingrams see pages 14-15

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Sharing a long, happy life together

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When Bob Ingram saw his future wife Gayle for the first time, he was on a date with another woman. Gayle was on a date with another man.

In fact, the couple were part of a triple date. It was back in Ontario in the early 1960s when the three couples went out for dinner and dancing.

Bob was a late addition to what was supposed to be a double date. He was invited because he had a car. It was three young ladies and three fellows from the air force going for a night on the town. It ended up being a long, happy life together.

While not on a date with each other, there was something about Gayle that caught Bob’s attention.

“She was cheeky,” he said. “She just had a presence and a good sense of humour. I kind of liked that.”

Three weeks later Bob phoned Gayle and asked her out.

“Seven months later we got married,” said Gayle. “And it’s never been dull.”

The couple were married on Feb. 15, 1963 and have stayed that way for 52 years.

“We would have gotten married on Valentine’s Day but it was a Friday

and the guys couldn’t get in from the air force base,” explained Gayle.

“And my boss wouldn’t give me the day off, he thought I was too young to get married,” added Bob who was 20 at the time. His bride-to-be was 21.

As time passed, Bob left the air force and decided to come back to BC, where he “knew people” to try and get a job in Victoria.

It was a big move for Gayle.

“We didn’t just travel across the country to B.C., but over to that rock, far, far away from civilization,” she said.

Gayle who has formal training as a singer, had a long range plan to eventually become a concert singer.

“When I met him, well, change in plans. And it has not been the wrong decision. It was definitely the right thing for me to do. I haven’t lost out on anything.”

Fast forward to 1974 and Bob was now working in Coquitlam with the school district and had two daughters. The couple knew the importance of family.

“Sunday, no matter what, was our day. We’d take the kids somewhere every Sunday,” said Bob. One popular trip was to drive to Agassiz and visit a gas station.

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asweage∙ “They made homemade strawberry ice cream ... There was no bridge across the river in those days, we traveled across the railway bridge. And that gets your heart pounding,” said Gayle.

They also enjoyed camping with the family, starting with a tent, then a tent trailer and finally a camper van.

“Now we camp on cruise ships,” said Gayle As Bob continued to work, Gayle, having raised their daughters, went back to school and returned to the workforce as well. She worked for the coroner’s office, in real estate and eventually started her own business creating custom gift baskets.

Despite being busy, they always made sure to spend time together and sometimes apart.

Like all couples, Bob and Gayle had joint interests and separate ones.

“I think it’s important that there are differences because that’s what sometimes stimulates things, the fact that there are differences. And I’ve seen people with the same interests become very competitive. That’s the last thing you need in a marriage, to be competitive,” said Bob. “It also recognizes that both people have different talents. There’s no way in the world I could ever do the things

that Bob does. I don’t have the skills that he has. And he could never sing,” added Gayle.

They are a great couple, but are individuals as well. And sometimes that individuality has led to minor conflicts.

“Happy marriages don’t come without differences at times. There were a few times when I have said ‘Bob, you’d have been much better off married to a little brown mouse who would not argue with you.’ And he’s always said ‘I don’t want a little brown mouse.’”

According to the Ingrams, a sense of humour and respect for one another are keys to a happy marriage. They also advise people to never play the blame game, work out issues, and don’t finger point. Always find a compromise.

“If you go to bed mad, nobody gets any sleep,” said Gayle.

After 52 years together, both Gayle and Bob agree that their relationship has gotten better, deeper and stronger.

“You either grow apart or you grow together. And we are fortunate enough that we grew together,” said Bob. Gayle said it takes two to be committed to marriage.

“There’s a difference now, in attitude, that if it doesn’t work out we’ll

do something else. It’s a throw away society,” she said.

Gayle said Bob’s fortunate that it all worked out.

“He’s way too old to retrain,” she said.

“I don’t want to go through the

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Are you in a state of harmony?

Everybody has seen the Yin and Yang symbol before, it means harmony and cycle of Tao which can be applied into health issues.

The health is basically a state of harmony and balance between body and mind, Qi (vital energy) and blood, even internal organs, etc.

It also means that everything in our body needs to circulate well.

There is nothing but to circulate in the universe.

Everything follows their own orbits.

Sun and moon circulate, seasons also circulate. Proper circulation of Qi, blood and body fluid can be said to be healthy.

On the other hand, the disease is a state of not being healthy, that is, the balance between Yin and Yang is broken in our body, and circulation is not good.

We can say that the homeostasis of body is broken in the view point of western medicine, which results in too much or too little Qi and blood, stagnation,

not good circulation of whole internal system, pain and weakness as well.

The treatment in Eastern Medicine aims first at correcting these unbalances and disharmony, and returning to the healthy circulation of Qi and blood, and restoring one’s own vital energy.

- information supplied by e.hong chung rtcmP, registered tcm practitioner in bc (mission acupuncture & herb clinic).

training process again,” he fired back.

Through the decades and the experiences, one thing has always made the marriage work - love.

“You’ve got to love. You’ve got to care. It doesn’t work otherwise,” said Bob.

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EVENTS FOR SENIORS asweage∙ January/february 2016

32444 7th Avenue Mission Phone: 604-820-0220 Feb. 2 Lifetime Learning Centre’s used book sale is on from 9 am to 2 pm Feb. 2 Osteofit and Low Impact Fitness classes with Alvina Tyler continue every Tues. and Thur. morning Feb. 2 Chair Yoga with Norine Longmire continues every Tue. and Thur. morning from 11 am to noon Feb. 2 Warm Fuzzies Knitting Group meets every Tues. and Thur. from 1 to 2:30 pm. Knitting for all ages and abilities.

Feb. 3 Lifetime Learning Centre’s Nordic pole walking group meets every Wed. at 9 am at Heritage Park parking lot. New walkers welcome.

Feb. 3 Lifetime Learning Centre presents “Following The Viking Footsteps”, a travel presentation.

Join globetrotters Judith Ray and Fred Reynolds as they navigate the North Atlantic following in the footsteps of the Vikings. Time: 10 am to 12 noon. Fee: $7 (nonmember $10).

Feb. 4 Lifetime Learning Centre

presents “One World Philosophy: Western Views” with Harold Rosen. Time: 12:30 to 2:30 pm. Place: 32444 -7th Ave., Mission. Fee: $40 for a series of six sessions or $7 per session, (non-members $50/$10). Pre-register at 604-820-0220.

Feb. 4 Lifetime Learning Centre presents piano music with Tracey Tobin at Carrington House, 32700 -7th Ave., Mission. Time: 1 to 2 pm. Fee: $7 (non-members $10).

Feb. 9 Lifetime Learning Centre’s book discussion group meets on the second and fourth Tuesdays of the month from 1:30 to 3:30 pm.

Feb. 10 Lifetime Learning Centre presents “Chocolate: Taste, Make and Share”. Time: 10 am to 12 noon. Fee: $15 (nonmembers $20), includes all supplies. Pre-register at 604820-0220.

Feb. 11 Lifetime Learning Centre presents a bus tour to the Chinese New Year Festival at the International Village Mall in downtown Vancouver. Bus leaves 32444 -7th Ave., Mission at 9 am and returns at 4 pm. Fee: $35 (non-members $45).

Pre-register at 604-8200220.

Feb. 15 Lifetime Learning Centre’s French conversation classes with Nicole

Bellay continue at 32444 -7th Ave., Mission.

Beginners 11 am to 12 noon, intermediate 9:30 to 10:30 am.

Feb. 17 Lifetime Learning Centre presents “Whistle Posts West” with Brian Antonson. . Time: 10 am to 12 noon. Fee: $7 (non-members $10).

Feb. 22 Lifetime Learning Centre presents Philosophers’ Cafe.

Time: 7 to 9 pm. Place: Chartwell Cedarbrooke, 32331 -7th Ave., Mission.

Fee: $5, includes refreshments.

Feb. 24 Lifetime Learning Centre presents “Spring Cleaning Workshop” with Norine Longmire.

Time: 10 am to 12 noon. Fee: $7 (non-members $10).

Feb. 25 Lifetime Learning Centre presents “Learn to Use Your Tablet, Computer or Cell Phone”. Bring your device and students will show you how to get the most from it. Time: 1 to 3 pm. Fee: by donation. Please pre-register at 604-820-0220.

March 5-10, 2016 Mammogram Screening * New Location Shoppers Drug Mart 32530 Lougheed Hwy, Mission, 1-800-663-9203 for more information

General Meeting - First Monday of each month at 11:30 am

33179 2nd Avenue Mission • 604.826.3634

Mission Seniors Activity Centre Assoc General January 21 Lunch With Meeting - First Thursday of each month at 10:30 am a Bunch from 11:30am until 1pm at the Carrington Old Age Pensioners House. Entertainment and Organization Br. 28 General door prizes. To register Meeting 2nd Friday 1:30 please call Catherine at 604- pm 826-3634.

Old Age Pensioners Organization Br. 28 Birthday Party 4th Friday 1:30 pm

33100 – 10th Ave.,Mission Phone 604-814-2188

February Valentine Dance Feb. 11th 1:00-4:00pm

Activities February 2016 Monday 12:30 am Mission Drop-in Centre Bingo 10:30 am Bodhi Meditation 1:30 pm Seniors Mixed Bridge Tuesday 9:00 am Mission Drop-in Centre Line Dancing 10:00 am Crafts / Knitting 10:00 am Seniors Health & Wellness Wednesday 9:15 am Mission Chair Fitness Exercise 10:15 am Mission Senior Drop-in Crib 10:30 am Walking Club 12:30 pm Mission Dropin Bingo Thursday 8:45 am Mission Drop-in Centre Line Dancing 10:00 am Crafts / Knitting 1:00 pm Jam Sessions Friday 9:15 am Mission Chair Fitness Exercise 11:00 am Mission Senior Drop-in Crib

Abbotsford Social Activity Association

March St Patrick’s Day Email: msca2011@shaw.ca Dance March 17th 1:00pm

MONTHLY MEETINGS Special Events: Mission Drop-in Centre

Are you a Seniors Community Group in Mission?

(Seniors) 33889 Essendene Ave January 29 ASAA Seniors Dance, 6pm, Music by Brian Zalo.

Contact Liz for info 604859-4646 February 5 ASAA Seniors Dance, 6pm, Music by Brian Michael.

Contact Liz for info 604-859-4646 February 12 ASAA Seniors Dance, 6pm, Music by Sweet Water.

Contact Liz for info 604-859-4646 February 19 ASAA Seniors Dance, 6pm, Music by Mignight Eagles with Shirley Rodger. Contact Liz for info 604-859-4646 February 26 ASAA Seniors Dance, 6pm, 33889 Essendene ave, Abbotsford. Music by Ben Issak True Country.

Contact Liz for info 604-859-4646

Submit your events listing to adcontrol@missioncityrecord.com

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49. A citizen of Thailand 50. Civil Rights group 55. Honest Company’s Jessica 56. ‘__ death do us part 57. Malarias 59. Claim against another’s property 60. Mined metal-bearing mineral 61. Dashery 62. Capacity unit 63. Primary color 64. Indian dress

CLUES DOWN

1. Manuscripts (abbr.)

2. Netherlands river 3. Italian island 4. One’s own being 5. More adroit 6. Balkan country 7. Psychologist B.F. 8. Investment group Goldman ___ 9. Double curve 10. The plane of a figure 12. Ocean 14. Public presses

19. Civil Rights activist Parks 23. Cooking container 24. Arctic native 25. Founder of Babism 26. Bashkortostan capital 27. Bulky grayish-brown eagle 28. Louse egg 29. About sight 34. ___/Tuck: TV drama 35. Black tropical American cuckoo 36. Chest muscle (slang) 37. Expression of disappointment 39. One who assists 40. Antilles island 41. Served food 42. Egyptian Sun god 44. Performed successfully 45. Cavalry-sword 46. Abba __, Israeli politician 47. Jonas __, cured polio 48. The Muse of history 51. Express pleasure 52. Turkish leader titles 53. Castro country 54. Nobleman 58. ___ Lanka

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Gord

Says Gordon Dainard

Have you prepared a will?

Last month we discussed planning for emergencies while we are living. However, planning in case we die is also required if you want your wishes followed.

Who can make a will?

A person who is 16 years of age or older and who is mentally capable of doing so may make a will.

If you don’t have a will, you’re not alone. According to a 2014 report for BC Notaries, just 55 per cent of British Columbians have a signed, legally valid and up-to-date will.

A will is the best way to ensure that the people, charities and organizations you cherish most receive the benefit of your estate.

It allows your executor to act immediately to make funeral arrangements and take charge of your estate.

An even greater concern is the lack of a will leaves your children vulnerable to wait in foster care while courts decide on a suitable guardian.

If you die without a will, your estate may not be distributed in the way you would have wished and the costs of administering your estate may also be higher.

Someone (usually spouse or child) must apply to the Supreme Court Registry to be appointed as administrator of your estate.

The law specifies who will inherit

It’s always good to have a plan - let me help.

Estate Planning is an opportunity to get your affairs in order, making life easier for you and your family, and to help take away the stress so you can focus on what’s really important.

Let me help draft your Will or update it if required. Find out how you can appoint a Power of Attorney and Healthcare Representative, so you can give someone the authority to make decisions on your behalf.

(Estate Administration Act) and if no one is available to administer your estate, the Public Guardian and Trustee becomes responsible.

COSCO Health and Wellness Institute has a free workshop on wills and estates and is available to groups of 10 or more. Please contact Gordon Dainard at gdainard333@gmail.com to discuss

booking this workshop for your group.

Tune in next month to read what Gord says about memory and aging or attend the workshop sponsored by the Mission Seniors Centre Association at the Seniors Centre on February 23rd.

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asweage∙ 10 tips for seniors to avoid a trip to the hospital Admission into a hospital often signals the health decline of a senior. Learn how you can take preventative measures so your loved one can avoid hospitalization.

1. Physical Activity Consult a doctor to determine the optimal level and type of physical activity your loved one should be doing.

Activities that improve balance, strength and coordination are great to prevent falls. If a senior has injuries or limited mobility, it may be a good idea

to ask a doctor or physiotherapist to customize exercise programs or get someone to supervise.

2. Nutrition Eating a balanced diet ensures that seniors are getting the vitamins and nutrients crucial to maintain bone strength, keep them healthy and maintain mental acuity. Osteoporosis, loss of bone density and deterioration of bone tissue, is one of the leading causes of hip fractures. Ensuring a proper diet can help minimize the risk of falling.

3. Supervision Have a family member, caregiver or friend consistently check up on seniors so they can notice any changes in daily pattern or health.

This way, preventative measured can be taken at the earliest signs of decline.

4. Home safety Rugs, loose handrailings, steep stairs, poorly lit hallways and clutter are just a few things that could be a potential hazard to seniors.

Consider getting rid of slippery rugs, installing steady hand-railings,

Carol Lange, Owner/Care Designer

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We can set up your own unique wellness program that provides safety, security, healthy meals,

transportation, grocery shopping, housekeeping and fun outings and community experiences. We will help fall-proof your home and keep your mobility up.

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asweage∙ is dedicated to our seniors. We welcome story submissions and photos. E-mail submissions to Karen at karen.murtagh@missioncityrecord.com PUBLISHED BY THE MISSION RECORD

eS erv ice

If you love where you live, call 604-468-2273 to book your FREE Caring Consult. We can’t wait to meet you.

For advertising opportunities call Karen at 604.820.5453

MISS AN ISSUE? Catch up at missioncityrecord.com/eeditions

implementing night lights throughout the home and putting as much items in storage as possible.

5. Outings Taking a senior on an outing can bring them happiness. One of the first symptoms seniors show during decline is withdrawal from activities. Take them on outings to their favorite restaurant, park or a symbolic location.

Loneliness is one of the leading causes of depression in seniors so it also may be a good idea to take them to visit a family member or friend.

6. Medication management Speak to a doctor to see if your loved one is taking the right and proper amount of medications. If they are experiencing any symptoms with their

current medications that may be a sign they need to be changed.

7. Provide relief to an elderly spouse Spouses of the elderly often end up looking after their partner who needs care. This can lead to exhaustion, burnout and health issues for themselves. See if you can help provide respite care or hire a caregiver to help.

8. Hobbies Finding a hobby or interest is great for seniors. Encourage seniors to continue or pick up a hobby. This will promote mental stimulation, satisfaction, purpose and happiness.

If the hobby requires groups or teams, this will also foster new friendships.

9. Socialization Whether it’s family, friends, acquaintances or new faces, try to get

seniors to attend events and get-togethers.

Social stimulation will keep them mentally sharp, engaged and will prevent loneliness which could trigger a decline in health.

10 Happier Aging Find that thing or things a senior used to love to do that made him or her happy. Bringing up nostalgic memories and childhood activities are great examples.

Whether it’s taking a senior to visit their family, having someone come as a companion once a week or assisting a senior to go for a walk outside, happiness can come in any form.

Submitted by Carol Lange, franchise owner of Nurse Next Door Maple Ridge/Mission.

Reach Carol at 604-468-2273, or carol@nursenextdoormr.com.

It’s never too early to garden It’s been a mild winter so far in the Fraser Valley and while February is still to come, there are already signs of life out in the garden.

If you are starting to think about preparing your beds for the spring season, here are a few tips to make your flowers or vegetables grow and to create a sustainable garden.

• Add mulch to flower and plant beds. Many a gardener has gone to bed with a beautiful garden only to return in the ensuing days and see flower and plant beds littered with weeds.

Mulch is perhaps best known for helping flower and plant beds retain moisture, but mulch also prevents the growth of weeds. Preventing weed growth means your water is going to the plants and flowers you intended it for and not to greedy and unsightly weeds.

• Choose native plants.

A garden filled with

exotic plants and flowers may be stunning, but unless those plants are native to where you live, that beauty is coming at a steep price. When choosing plants for your garden, choose native plants that are fully capable of thriving in your local climate.

• Plant with a plan.

When planting trees around your property, plant them in locations that can reduce your reliance on air conditioning in the warmer months. Plant a tree in a place where it will help to shade common areas inside

your home so such rooms are comfortable without the air conditioner cranking all day long.

• Develop a compost pile. Compost is made up of decayed organic material, and it can be used as a fertilizer.

Gardeners can make their own compost piles at home, providing valuable minerals and nutrients for their lawns, without having to rely on store-bought amendments that need to be produced, packaged and transported before they can make it onto the shelves in your local lawn and garden center.