October 28, 2015

60 Living

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Murray Phillips A visit to the artist’s studio

Barbara Boldt Joy Richardson Music & Theatre Seniors & Sexuality LANGLEY

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A visit to the artist’s studio Cover photo by Dan Ferguson, Langley Times C Above photo by David Ediger A

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Langley Living 60 Plus is published by the Langley Times, October, 2015.

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EDITOR’S notes Fall is a wonderful time for reflection.

As the year winds down and the days get shorter we find ourselves drawn into indoor activities, maybe reading a good book, dusting off an old hobby or trying something new.

I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.

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In this issue, we have immersed our writers into Langley’s arts community. We have sat down with some of our community’s most prolific artists, musicians, writers and performers. In each story we find that many of these inspirational people didn’t hone their skills or take a serious interest in their craft until later in life. Their stories often reveal that they had been holding back a talent, waiting until it could no longer be contained.

Barbara Boldt and Murray Phillips share some personal insights and candid comments about their youth and their moment of truth that set them on their path.

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The members of the Langley Players Drama Club speak passionately about past and the future of Langley’s theatre community.

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Krystal Clarke spends some time with a relationship expert and radio personality Maureen McGrath to give us some timely advice about maintaining healthy, active relationships as we grow older..

We have coaxed former Times Editor Frank Bucholtz out of retirement and he makes a visit to the Langley Community Music School to see what’s available to our senior musicians.

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Art is a Language ‘Every artist begins by dipping his brush in his own soul’ JIM MCGREGOR

It’s not surprising that Murray Phillip’s home is decorated in quiet earth tones surrounded by paintings and books. His paintings are a reflection of this gentle Langley artist’s lifestyle.

His favorite places to paint are outdoors in the wilderness surrounded by the colors of the earth, the grass the trees and the quiet of nature.

“I once spent four months in the wilderness, by myself in the Bugaboos.

I am at a point in my life where I can select, choose my days, choose my subject and I find inspiration in the peace and quiet.”

Murray was not formally trained or schooled as an artist. “I was raised in a Baptist family and the arts, other than music, were not encouraged.

In a strict religious background, painting was not seen as a significant contribution to society.”

“I painted pastels when I was young and when I was fourteen, I was asked to paint a back drop scene for a Christmas play. The scene included a large mural of trees and farm animals and I spent hours on that project. After the play, a lady came up to me and asked me if I had painted the scenery. I admitted that I had and she replied, ‘I saw one of your cows move tonight.’ What an amazing thing to say and what encouragement that provided me.”

“In the later years, a painter by the name of Helmut Hirnschall took me under his wing and we painted side by side. His teaching was one of the many critical, transitional points in my life. I have worked with so many great people.”

“My father was a Baptist minister and his hobby was photography, he very much enjoyed that. When he retired in Brooklyn, he spent much more time as a photographer and was recognized across North America for his teaching work.”

“It noticed that my Father, who been a very successful minister, was a much more complete man, a happier man with his photography.”

encourage them to get involved in the arts or to at least explore them and consider them. I see so much emphasis on sports and I have had parents tell me they don’t want their children in arts programs, they want them to be hockey players. The chance of becoming a professional hockey player in Canada is one in fifty thousand but I can name fifty people here in Langley and Fort Langley that are making a living in the art community.”

“I was at a point in my life where I had achieved a Masters in Cultural Anthropology and Divinity and I was taking my PhD. at Simon Fraser University. Part way through, thinking about my father, I asked myself if I would be happier pursuing my art career now rather than waiting for retirement.”

“I spoke to my wife Betty about leaving university and starting a gallery.

Betty was not only my wife and supporter but she was the finest person I have ever known. She didn’t hesitate, she replied, ‘Let’s do it.’

“I often think of that moment of my life as being on a trapeze swing, holding on tight and secure with the other swing coming toward me.

Should I jump, should I hold on tight to where I am? I jumped and it changed my life but I can tell you, that time in the air between swings was terrifying.”

Murray opened the Westwind Gallery, original called Arts and Frames, in 1994 on Fraser Highway in Langley City. Many people referred to it as Langley’s Art Gallery and often just went in to browse and view the art displayed on the walls. “The impact of that gallery was amazing,” Murray reflects. “It won the business of the year one year and many remarked how its presence had changed the spirit and personality of downtown Langley. I still have people talk to me about the gatherings we had there where we would invite artists or others to do presentations or shows. I was thrilled with the response but I worked long hours there to make it pay.”

“I enjoyed the reactions of the people who stopped by. One day a man

“I often get the opportunity to talk to students in public schools and I

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Murray y Phillips p

Murray Phillips displays his favorite painting of his father’s Ontario one room schoolhouse. Photo by Jim McGregor

phoned me and asked if I could open early.

When he came in he only wanted to view a display of Brian’s Croft’s paintings of old time Langley. With tears in his eyes he said, ‘So many stories, so many stories.’

“When I paint, I tell half of the story,” Murray reflects. “The people viewing the painting finish the story, it becomes their story. I have many times seen people view my work and break down in tears or take the time to point out a certain part of the painting that has evoked a memory for them. They are reminded of a time gone by. People are moved by the visual and I like to paint beyond the painting to the spiritual and that comes through in the finished piece” “Westwind opened the door for me and gave me an opportunity to paint. I had been told that if an artist wanted to be successful, you had to paint forty hours a week and I made that my goal. It was great discipline for me and that, and becoming one of the contributing artists at the Calgary Stampede, were turning points in my career. My art began to sell and I was introduced to other artists, other styles and a wider market.”

“I get opportunities now to do so many things.

This Artists in Conservation that I am involved in with five hundred global artists is huge and I am getting much enjoyment from that. They put out a book and I get to have my art in there and they discuss my style of painting. As well, I get to travel and meet so many other wonderful people. I got involved in a project a few years ago with artists concerned about oil tankers on the West Coast. I plan to go to Ireland and Europe as well, painting other countries and cultures.”

“After my wife Betty passed away, I didn’t get out in the wilderness as much. Betty handled so many things in my life. Those were tough times when she was gone. But when I am in the wilderness I can paint right on site, large canvasses that capture the entire scene and yet I can also capture some of the small images that no one will see if I don’t paint them.”

“One of my favorite paintings is my Dad’s school house in Southern Ontario. He never got back to see it before he died but when I saw it, I knew I had to paint it. I could see the children running around that little one room school. One of the things I most enjoy is when

■ OCTOBER 2015 ■ Published by THE LANGLEY TIMES

people ask me to paint their historical homes, we all get more nostalgic as we get older I love being able to preserve those memories.”

“Art is a language. When Betty died people wrote cards to me saying, ‘I cannot find the words to express my feelings,’ I wanted to write back saying, ‘Don’t think you have lost the words because this is beyond words.’ But I found I could paint through my grief and I like the phrase ‘that every artist begins by dipping their brush in their own soul.’

As a member of the West Fine Arts Society Murray has helped raise tens of thousands of dollars for scholarships and more recently, a project, The West Fine Arts Show Remembering Betty, honoring his wife raised funds for the Langley Hospice Society and the West Fine Arts Society.

“I am too busy to think of retirement. I can’t imagine not painting. Painting keeps opening new doors and I have a book coming out in the next year. I really believe my best painting is yet to come.”

You can find out more about Murray and his art on his website at www.murrayphillips.com 7■ LIVING60PLUS

“My Art is Who I Am, How I Feel” JIM MCGREGOR

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he fall colors are starting to appear as I drive through Glen Valley to Barbara Boldt’s rural studio home. It is quiet and I feel bad that I have scared away the dozen golden finches feasting at the feeder on her deck. It is peacful, and looking around, I seems I have been inserted into one of Barbara’s intricate and

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Langley Artist Barbara Boldt displays the first painting she completed after completing her first art lessons.

Jim McGregor photo.

my door and says, “I need another Barbara Boldt. That tells me that my art is unique and that the people are still appreciating what I do.”

Barbara was born in Mulheim an der Ruhr Germany in 1930. “It was a manufacturing town, and when the war started our family, my two brothers and a sister, were sent to

refugee camps in Czechoslovakia. We were treated well there, with respect, but there was little formal education so there were no such things as art classes.”

When the war ended in 1945, they were told to ‘find your way home.’ “The home we came back to was very different. For art class our teachers would tell us to go out into the

burned out buildings and find some charred wood for charcoal and then we would search for paper bags or scraps to draw on.”

“I had no formal art training in school but my parents and grandparents were artists. I have always known there was art in the family. I honour that and I have many pieces of my family’s art displayed around me here in my home.”

In 1952, the rules for immigration to Canada were very strict. “My Father arranged for me to come to Sherbrooke Quebec as a German domestic when I was twenty-two. This allowed us to negotiate bringing the rest of the family over as well seeing as how I would employed.”

There were a lot of moves across Canada over the next few years and Barbara moved to Vancouver in 1953 and met and married her husband Peter. “I have moved forty-one times in my life but I am very happy where I have settled now.”

“When I was forty five, my three children, a daughter Dorothy and two sons, Ken and Mike, had moved away and I noticed an advertisement for art lessons in Maple Ridge. …CONTINUED

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Barbara Boldt I took down the number, eventually got the courage to phone and that changed my life.”

“The teacher had an art supply shop and framing shop and I worked there and continued taking lessons. Three years later, in 1977, I had my first show and sold almost everything. That was the start of it, that’s where my passion for painting came to life. My husband I divorced and being on my own I needed to sell my work.”

Barbara became known on the local art scene by opening the Artera Gallery in Fort Langley and another, Artists at Work and more recently The Flag Group. “All of those experiences were instrumental in bringing a community of artists together.”

“People comment on ‘my style.’ My style is who I am at the time. I have lost my daughter and one of my sons and each of those events has affected who I am. My son Ken Boldt was tragically killed in a bicycle accident in 1990 and I was able to release my grief and pain through my art. During this time of grief, I created the Heart Series showing that the world was a dangerous place, but that work helped me move on. Those pieces reflect who I was at that time and producing those paintings saved my life.”

“I have a series called, ‘Daughter’s Eyes, Mother’s Hands.’ My daughter, Dorothy Forbes died in 2000. She was an artist and a photographer and I have tried to move on by blending my techniques with her photo images to create an artistic vision of both of us.”

“I am a realist in my art and my life. My church is the scenery outside my window. When I sit at my kitchen table in the morning, I look

outside and I give thanks for the trees, the grass, the birds, the roof over my head and the food on my plate. All of that is real. I was taught to paint the small and the magnificent things, to explore with my brush. My style is different than it was twenty years ago because I am different than I was twenty years ago.”

Barbara’s medium of choice is oil. “I love to create a three dimensional image on a flat surface, that is very satisfying to me. I teach art classes now and I like to guide my students, to encourage them to develop their own style. There may be four in a class but I treat each one as an individual. I discourage them from wanting to learn how to paint like a specific artist or in a certain style. I want them to find out who they are first.”

“I teach them, don’t think of selling your work, paint for love.

Don’t brag about your abilities, it’s what you do with your talent that matters. I have a responsibility to my ancestors first. There is no competition in art and I believe that money comes when it’s needed, so paint for yourself first.”

We stroll through her gallery and the walls are covered with art from generations of her family and some amazing work of her own. Her art and her life are beautifully portrayed in the book, Places Of Her Heart by K. Jane Watt, which she keeps on display as well.

“I don’t know how much time I have left to paint. I have to make the best of it, but I am not ready to retire yet.”

For more information on Barbara Boldt, or to purchase her paintings or her book, check out her website at www.barbaraboldt.com.

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Still Living Her Dream M E L KO S I TS K Y

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t has been a lifelong dream and now at age 90 she is still living that dream.

Joy Richardson, the daughter of a farmer in England, regularly sat on a pony before she could walk, and the first time it was at 10 months. Her entire life has been dedicated to working with and raising horses - a lifestyle that she continues to love.

“When I was really young my Daddy gave me a great big kiss and told me you will be controlled all of your life by horses,” says Richardson. And that has turned out to be so very true.

Her accomplishments resulted in many international championships in England, Canada and the United States. Hunters, Quarter Horses and Thoroughbreds took her into a variety of disciplines from fox hunting, working hunter, jumping, eventing, western performance and dressage. She has also judged horse competitions in England, Canada and Germany.

But her talents and creativity have not been limited to the stables, she has been involved in many different organizations and as a writer has contributed to many magazines and has also found time to write two books. Joy “the author” published her autobiography “Joy for Living” and warns that she has been working on a sequel. She is also the co-author, with Jan White, of “The Horsemen” - a history of 12 of British Columbia’s most influential horsemen. …CONTINUED

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“He is a beautiful grey, with spots of white, and is always waiting for me to bring him apples,” says Richardson. “He loves his Mommy.” Richardson will take him for walks and gets on his back about twice a week. She is planning to put him into formal training next year.

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Richardson’s creativity has left a legacy with various horse organizations - and one of her favorite and perhaps greatest achievements is the creation of the Spirit of the Horse Garden, located at the entrance to the equestrian facilities of Campbell Valley

Regional Park. Now residing at a retirement complex in White Rock, Richardson takes the time to regularly visit the garden and check on the plants and tributes to horses who are no longer with us.

She regularly attends horse shows and equestrian related events, especially if she has a connection to the horses and riders.

Having just celebrated a milestone in her own life with her 90th birthday in October, she was also quite pleased to learn that her old roommate, Queen Elizabeth II, became the longest reigning monarch in British history, surpassing Queen Victoria.

Growing up Richardson was quite connected with the Queen as they both shared the love of horses.

“She was in the Army and I was in the Navy and we were both sent to a high level driving course.

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same room. I got to know her very well,” said Richardson.

From the start Richardson was very involved with the creation of the horse garden when she was vice president of the Langley Horse Federation. Her passion and drive - plus plenty of determination - got the horse community and business sponsors behind the idea and she was able to convince the politicians to also give it support. It officially opened in 2001.

Since then she has continued to hold fundraising events to help support this special place and has been involved with the regular maintenance of the English-style garden, which is now managed by the Metro Vancouver parks systems. It is supported by the Pacific Parklands Foundation (www.pacificparklands.ca). The foundation accepts donations on behalf of the garden and contributions can be made on line through the website.

Nestled in the heart of a pastoral country park, this beautiful garden has been created to celebrate the horses that have given so much pleasure to their owners. The garden takes up approximately one-third of an acre and is a quiet haven for horse lovers to contemplate

and celebrate memories of long time, faithful equine companions. About 100 horses have been recognized. Plaques are displayed on a meandering brick wall and the “memory lane” of bricks leads to the “Spirit Courtyard” displaying a granite horse carving that actually came from China and 10 granite benches.

As a writer Richardson was a regular contributor to numerous horse publications and was a regular, if not infamous, writer of letters to the editors of many newspapers and magazines. She always had no problem putting her opinions in writing. Her first book was also a bit outrageous to some as she was not shy about writing about her love life as well as her horse life.

Richardson has often been recognized for her contributions to the equine world. She was awarded Horse Person of the Year honours in 1997 by Horse Council BC and she received the 1999 Fraser Valley Woman of Excellence Award in the Sport category. She has also served as chairman of the quarter horse association and elected as an American Quarter Horse Association district director. For years she kept the Langley Horse Federation alive as its president.

Her career with horses has been varied as witnessed by the trophies and ribbons that still are displayed in her apartment after she downsized from Holly Farm, which was located across from the regional park she spent so much time in riding the trails. She has lived in Canada since 1957, working as an interior designer in Vancouver, and the Vancouver Art Gallery before she and her husband purchased property in Aldergrove and established the 60-horse Heritage Boarding Stables. During the next seven years she was an Inspector with the SPCA. In 1970 Richardson purchased he American Quarter Horse “Hyline Gentry” and together she rode him to become the first AQHA Champion Gelding in Canada. Ten years later she developed his brother Hyline Paladin to the same level. Both these horses were later taken to England.

Richardson is still a very busy person and does not let age slow her down. She believes that people of all ages should keep active and busy doing things to stay healthy. “If you can’t keep exercising, you can still keep busy - not just sitting around and doing nothing.”

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Published by THE LANGLEY TIMES ■ OCTOBER 2015 ■

Music

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F R A N K BU C H O LT Z

Music

is something which transcends boundaries – including those involving age.

Many people past the age of 60 are involved with Langley Community Music School, as instructors, students, volunteers and users of the spacious facilities.

Several of them gathered on a recent Wednesday at the Langley City facility to share their ideas about music, its fundamental value and the important role the music school plays in spreading music to others.

“I see seniors coming into the school with a real hunger for knowledge,” said principal Susan Magnusson. “They enjoy the interaction with artists, and artists being on our faculty.”

She said a significant number of older people not only enjoy the concerts and commentary from artists at the popular Café Classico series, but also get involved in learning a new instrument or becoming more active in musical endeavours.

Sue Anderlini is a Langley Community Music School board member, and is also learning the piano at the school. She has long had an interest in music, but first came to the music school when her daughter was talking oboe lessons.

Her daughter began playing the recorder at Peterson Road Elementary, took up the oboe, took lessons at LCMS and joined the Surrey Youth Symphony. Anderlini is currently president of that society, which has three youth orchestras and a chamber music program.

After many years of teaching at Aldergrove and Mountain secondaries, she became more involved with LCMS as a volunteer, joined the board (she is now vice-president) and started her …CONTINUED

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Langley Community Music School music lessons.

“It’s something I can do, I have the time for it,” she said of her decision to become involved with the school.

As for her music lessons, she said “It’s the first instrument I’ve played. It’s never too late to start.”

Chris LaBorde is a founding member of Langley Community Chorus, which regularly uses music school facilities and has a close relationship with the school. She also volunteers with the LCMS music for babies classes, something she has done since 2008.

She and her husband Arne Larsen were looking for opportunities to sing when they moved to Langley almost 30 years ago. He began singing with a barbershop group in Lynden, and through that group heard of possibilities of forming a choir in Langley. Ten people got together to form Langley Community Chorus in 1992, and it has grown and flourished ever since.

The chorus has had eight directors over the years and is now so popular that finding a place for prospective new members isn’t easy.

“We had an older couple join about 10 years in, and it was helping keep them healthy, and keep

their brains active. Singing for us is vital to our spiritual, mental and physical wellbeing,” she said.

The chorus’ current director, Anita Comba, has introduced members to singing choral pieces in foreign languages, to perform at upcoming concerts.

“It’s done in a playful, non-threatening way. I’m astonished we can pull it off,” LaBorde said.

She got involved with the music for babies program in 2008 at a time when “I really needed to do that.”

“It was very therapeutic for me to come here for a second time each week,” she said. “The baby classes, for babies from six months to three years, use play to teach young children music. It is so heartwarming.”

Ian Hampton is one of the best-known of the LCMS faculty members. He has been teaching the cello to students since 1976 in Langley. He has been a professional musician all his life and delights in teaching the instrument to people of all ages.

He has played with the London Symphony and the Vancouver Symphony. Each year, he teaches cello to about 20 students at LCMS.

“My interest is in the school and the people who some here,” he said. ``Many take up music after their kids get into school or university, or later in life when they have the time. I have taught many very talented people and it’s tragic that many did not get into it until their 60s.

“The school is part of the community,” he said.

“With a beautiful building with an auditorium, we can promote events and encourage performers to come here. We have the wherewithal to do all kinds of things, including establishing connection with schools overseas.”

Hampton said that while “classical music is under siege” in some respects, having a music school as an important and valued part of the community offers opportunities to teach people both instruments and voice, and LCMS “is ìn a very good position to allow people to take up the torch.”

The many talented young musicians who have attended the school, and those who have come back as faculty members, ensure that music will be an essential part of Langley`s community life for many years to come. “Ìt might be under siege, but we are working to keep it alive in an uplifting way,” said Anderlini.

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Published by THE LANGLEY TIMES ■ OCTOBER 2015 ■

THE PLAY is the thing JIM MCGREGOR

I

sat down with a group of the Langley Players at the Langley Playhouse in Brookswood. It was soon evident that my tape recorder and note pad were going to be hard pressed to capture the passion that was spilling out onto the table.

“We have a vibrant theatre community in this area,” states Diane Gendron, an active member with the Langley Players, President of Bard in the Valley (BIV) and Producer of the plays BIV has staged each summer for the past six years.

“At one point we had the Centre Stage Players which produced and performed one act plays for the B.C. Senior’s Games but, unfortunately the Games’ organizers discontinued that category. But with the Bard in the Valley summer production, the involvement many of us have in other theatre groups around the Lower Mainland, and the three plays we produce at the Langley Playhouse each year, there’s lots happening.”

Langley Players is a community theatre group founded in 1969.They host three productions a year - fall, winter and spring.

Located in Brookswood, they strive to offer quality local entertainment. The auditorium seats 80 patrons, including one wheelchair space and handicap parking spots.

Dave Williams is currently the PastPresident of the Langley Players Drama Club. “Our performances are well received and often sell out and as a consequence we would like to increase our seating capacity, which is something we are exploring. We have a great relationship with the Township of Langley. As a non-profit organization we are grateful for all the support we get. “ In the late 90’s with the support of the Township, the Province of BC and several generous community supporters, many improvements were made to the 1930s building which included restoring the interior theatre space, new seats, carpets, and stage resurfacing, a much improved lobby, backstage and parking lot.

Dave points out, “We have titles but we are all involved in the entire productions. We all do the ‘front of house,’ selling tickets,

Langley Players members Bob Purcell and Dave Williams start work on the set while Rae Purcell and Diane Gendron review the script for the next play. Photo by Jim McGregor

refreshments and greeting the patrons.

Most of us have done some time on the stage and everyone gets involved as a stage hand or set builder at some point. I have even performed on the stage once or twice.”

Diane is also a multi-tasker. “With Bard in the Valley I am the president of our notfor-profit society, I organize publicity, secure venues, prepare a budget and look after funding as well as sitting in on play selection and auditions, and I have spent some time on the stage as well.”

“I had a lot of experience on the stage growing up in Langley and then I had the pleasure of belonging to several community theatre groups over the years. I had a few years away from theatre when I was working and raising my children but then we moved back to Langley and I retired. One day I was driving past the Langley Playhouse in Brookswood and saw the sign, ’Auditions Today.’ I was given a part in that play and the group made me feel so welcome that I haven’t left.”

The plays are chosen by a Play Selection Committee. Dave explains, “We hold several play reading meetings throughout the year, where the committee reads then critiques the plays which have been submitted by directors. Each spring, the productions are chosen for the coming

■ OCTOBER 2015 ■ Published by THE LANGLEY TIMES

season. Our membership becomes the crew and production people and are encouraged to volunteer for shows they would like to work on.

We have educational opportunities throughout the year, offering tutorials and workshops on various theatre based subjects. I am very pleased with the summer Youth Theatre Workshop we offer in conjunction with Bard in the Valley. The workshop introduces many young people to live theatre. It builds their confidence and gives them a chance to shine on the stage. We never want to lose that.’

Rae and Bob Purcell are a husband and wife team that have been involved in the Langley theatre community since the 1980’s. Rae recalls, “We had the Footlight Players at the Langley United Church, another group the Murrayville Players and I was active in the Centre Stage Players, writing and acting and directing plays for the senior’s games and the Langley Players. I’ve been on stage many times over the years but I enjoy working in the back ground now.”

“Rae and Bob come to all our plays and when I want an honest opinion on the production, they are my sounding board,” Diane points out. “Rae has a wonderful sense of what works and what doesn’t, its valuable input.” …CONTINUED

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Langley Players Bob is not only behind the scenes, he is the scenes. “Since the 90’s I have been building sets for both the Langley Players and Bard in the Valley. The script is the blueprint and I work with the set designer to build the set that takes the audience into the play. We’re fortunate to have the Playhouse where we can build the sets right in the theatre. For Bard in the Valley I build the sets at home. I usually spend four or five days on each play. At the Playhouse we have a team of people who come and help build the set and once it’s up, it stays up, but With BIV the set is moved to three different outdoor venues and entire cast and crew double as stage hands for set up and take-down. We can always use more volunteers,” Bob adds.

“The sets are an integral part of the story,” Diane adds, “The Director does the scene analysis and determines what elements of the set should be included. For one of our plays last year, Cocktails with Pam, We needed 60’s furniture so Bob and Dave built a room full of 60’s furniture. Bob is our magic set builder, both for the Langley Players and Bard in the Valley. It’s almost as though a director simply has to have the thought about what he or she would like the set to look like, and Bob has it built, perfectly. He’s well over 65 but is energy is legendary.”

Dave points out, “The characters in a play are not fleshed out like they are in a novel. The scene is not described to you, you have to see it unfolding on the stage. All the elements have to be there.

I recall one Sunday many years ago, when working as a young teacher, we knew we needed some lumber for a school production and the stores were closed. We went to my house and took my deck

apart. That’s dedication to the craft, and is the same dedication that many of our members bring to the theatre.”

Local talent is prevalent in all aspects of the productions with both the Langley Players and Bard in the Valley. “We had eight local actors in the Bard in the Valley Play this year and most of our production team and crew are from Langley. We are fortunate to have many talented directors and actors living right here in Langley.” Diane explains. “We encourage people to come to auditions, come to the meetings and come to the shows.”

Dave adds, “We are not as well-known as we should be but we are working on that. We need additional funds to expand our facilities and for promotions. I would love to see us be able to keep our young actors here at home.”

Diane sums it up, “It’s delightful to be part of our theatre community and there are lots of ways to be involved whether it’s designing a set, painting the set, creating props, designing the lighting or sound, taking photos, writing promo bits, creating the food for the celebrations, acting, directing, producing or, most importantly, welcoming the audience to the productions. We are a welcoming community where people feel a great sense of fulfillment because they are sharing their various creative talents.”

For more information on The Langley Players, Bard in the Valley or how you ca get involved with the Langley Theatre Community, check out their websites at www.langleyplayers.com and www. bardinthevalley.com

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SENIORS& SEXUALITY

I’ll take the

SOUP.

ould How w some e you lik X?

SUPER

SE

An Interview with Maureen McGrath K RY ST Y L C L A R K

In

recent years, several studies have made it clear that seniors are still having sex, and plenty of it, well into their 70s, and beyond.

While the numbers prove that intimacy isn’t just reserved for youth, the pleasure and problems below the waist that arise with the young-at-heart are rarely discussed.

That is, unless you happen to be one of the thousands of Canadian listeners tuning into the Sunday Night Sex Show on CKNW. Brazen host and sexual health expert Maureen McGrath educates listeners about sexual health, overall healthy relationships and quality of life, debunking myths about seniors and sexuality, one phone call at a time.

“The biggest (myth) is that seniors are not having sex,” laughed McGrath.

“Many people are curious whether or not so-called “older people” have sex. Let me put it to you this way: A 44-year-old patient of mine asked me if 65 was the “magic age” when sex stopped. I answered him by telling him about a 22-year-old male patient of mine who said to me, ‘So Maureen, when does sex end? 35?’ “ We all have a different definition of what ‘older’ means and what that means for someone’s sex life.”

According to a 2007 study of 3,005 U.S. adults aged 57-88, published in the New England Journal of Medicine, the following groups reported having sex at least once within the past year: • 73% of people aged 57 to 64; • 53% of those aged 65 to 74; • 26% of those aged 75 to 85.

Statistically, there is a decline in the frequency of sexual activity as one ages, but it’s not necessarily because one doesn’t desire intimacy. In most cases, physical ailments, medical conditions and various

medications are to blame, said McGrath.

“Desire may decrease but usually there’s a good reason, such as medication, depression, the use of antihistamines — there are a lot of medical conditions, like vaginal atrophy, out there that can affect one’s sex life.’’

Normal aging also brings physical changes in both men and women — these changes sometimes affect one’s ability to have and enjoy sex with another person. For women, it’s during and after menopause when estrogen levels begin to drop considerably, that one tends to experience a lagging sex drive, notes McGrath, who has helped countless women manage a vast array of female sexual health issues such as: vaginal dryness, vaginal atrophy, low sexual desire, dyspareunia (painful sex) urinary incontinence, prolapse, intimacy, sexually transmitted infections (STIs), consent, sexual response cycle and relationship concerns.

Estrogen is the hormone regulator of the vagina and keeps it in balance.

“What happens is the estrogen receptors decrease, the vaginal tissues become dry and less elastic and this causes sex to become painful,” she explained.

Also, women may begin to get recurrent urinary tract infections — another sign of the decreasing estrogen receptors in the vagina. Low-dose localized estrogen in the form of a tablet, pill or ring restores the vaginal health tissues and treats this condition.

If vaginal dryness is the only issue, then a personal moisturizer may help or using a lubricant during sex may reduce friction.

“Women are embarrassed to talk about it and, more often than not, don’t know what to do so they may shut down,” she adds.

“This is a large reason that many relationships break down.”

Estrogen plays key role in sexual function, noted McGrath.

■ OCTOBER 2015 ■ Published by THE LANGLEY TIMES

“Without healthy estrogen levels, women experience thinning of the vaginal walls, vaginal dryness and even vaginal atrophy, which causes intercourse to be very painful. Quite often, this makes men afraid to have sex with their significant other — they don’t want to cause any pain.”

For men, premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction can become more frequent issues in the bedroom later in life.

Erectile dysfunction is more common in older males and of the more than 20 million North American males who suffer from this; fewer than 10 per cent ever receive treatment, according to Journal of the American Medical Association and the Foundation for Urological Disease.

Conditions, such as the ones listed above, strike directly at one’s manhood and may make one feel less-than-desirable and desire less sex, but there is no shame in any of these conditions, says McGrath, who urges both men and women at any age to speak to their health care provider about sexual health issues.

“Again, there are many treatments such as medications, vacuum devices, pellets, injections and supportive devices. Even men with flaccid penises may enjoy penetrative sex. Remember that your genes may play a role in your health but you play the starring role.”

It’s common for studies and the media to focus on the decline of sexual activity for those 60-plus, however, there is without a doubt a large segment of the senior population having some fun between the sheets.

Whether it’s with a partner or solo, sex can offer a plethora of health benefits that rivals any medication on the market, said McGrath. …CONTINUED

LIVING60PLUS

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Senior Sexuality “There are so many benefits in terms of alleviating pain, improving memory, mood and sleep resulting in clarity of mind, etc., and yet, we as a society are so afraid of it. Sex is much better than any prescription drug, only it has no side effects.”

Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, divorce, lack of desire for their partner, or being in a sexless marriage, for one reason or another, vibrators and other gadgets can help enhance one’s sexual pleasure at any age, and make it easier to achieve the big ‘O.’ “Sex toys are laughed at, but the truth is they’re very beneficial for a lot of people,” said McGrath, who prescribes them for pleasure to women of all ages.

“I had an 80-year-old widow call in and ask if it was too late for her to use a vibrator. I said, ‘Absolutely not, girlfriend,’ and I sent her one in the mail.”

While it can be difficult for the younger generation, especially one’s child or grandchild to think of their elders being sexually active, it’s a reality that can surface when it’s time to enter a care home.

“It’s not uncommon at all to have to make sexual decisions for an elderly parent, said McGrath.

“You can’t go from having sex in the outside world to refraining from it in a care home. Sometimes, the most difficult decision for adult children to make is whether it’s okay for their parent to be sexually active — this gets trickier when they’re admitted to care homes and there is dementia involved or a decline in cognitive abilities. “ And in case of spinal cord injury or other neurological disorders, like Parkinson’s and multiple sclerosis, it’s not uncommon for some care home residents to require help from staff to get intimate, by putting them in bed together with their partner, said McGrath, adding that the move to a care home is also a common time for many seniors to ‘go back into the closet,’ especially if the care home is not LGBTQI ( lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning, and inter-sex individuals) friendly, which most are not.

While the fear of pregnancy is no longer an issue, older adults are still subject to the same STIs that are prevalent among their younger dating counterparts.

“The talk I give to university students is the same I give to the 80-year-olds, except that the 80-year-olds know they cannot get pregnant “ said McGrath.

“Both groups have the same issues around desire and infections, but what older people don’t realize is that they are even more at risk for STIs, because of vaginal lining thinning. Many don’t realize they can get them and therefore don’t use condoms.”

In fact, McGrath notes there is the growing number of older adults who are being diagnosed with HIV/AIDS over the age of 50.

Traditionally, HIV prevention programs have not targeted an older age group, because they have generally not been considered a vulnerable pop■ 22

LIVING60PLUS

ulation. For the most part, this population received little sexual health education as young adults and what was provided would not have covered HIV, since the first report of the virus didn’t occur until 1981.

As a result, older adults may not be aware of the behaviours that put them at risk for HIV infection and the ways they can reduce their risk.

A 2010 survey by the Canadian Liver Foundation found that one in five baby boomers (aged 46 to 64) said they use condoms less now that pregnancy is less of a concern; and, more than half of respondents (56 per cent) say they’re not worried about contracting any STIs. “HIV has changed — it’s no longer about homosexual men at all, if it ever really was,” warned McGrath.

“There are a lot of men in sexless marriages visiting prostitutes who may bring STIs back home to the suburbs. It is a comfort at least to know, according to the Johns Study, that 90 per cent of men wear a condom when having sex with a prostitute.

Despite the alarming statistics about STIs, a person can enjoy a healthy sex life well into their 80s and beyond, as long as their health is good, she adds. There are many conservative and lifestyle treatments for the sexual health issues that occur as people age that are so common.

“There is no magic time when ‘being turned on gets turned off.’

The healthier a person is, the better their sex life. That is why it is important to: • Eat a healthy low-sugar, low-carb, high-protein, plant-based diet; • Exercise daily; • Quit smoking; • Keep alcohol consumption to a minimum; • Manage the stress of life with healthy strategies; • Get help immediately for any health conditions that may arise.

• Practice safe sex Join leading sexual health expert Maureen McGrath every Sunday from 8 p.m. to 9 p.m. for the CKNW Sunday Night Sex Show — a live listener call-in radio that educates listeners about sexual health, overall health, relationships and quality of life.

Learn more about Maureen McGrath and her upcoming events and appearances or to book an appointment: www.backtothebedroom.ca Visit her blog: Backtothebedroom-blog.ca On Facebook: www.facebook.com/maureen.mcgrath On Twitter: @back2thebedroom

Published by THE LANGLEY TIMES ■ OCTOBER 2015 ■

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