November 23, 2012

Good Life cowichan

Honouring our Elders

Seniors Resource Directory Page 33

magazine

also inside: heading south

did you hear the one about...?

Cowichan News Leader Pictorial November 2012

Autumn 2012 Cowichan Good Life Magazine 1

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Cowichan News Leader Pictorial November 2012

good life

A guide to your best years in Cowichan

inside

Welcome to the Good Life — your local guide to the second half of living.

You are the Baby Boomers of the Warm Land.

Your kids are gone, or at least are in the process of leaving the nest. Your goals have shifted, or are shifting. Your body doesn’t necessarily work the way it once did.

And life has served up a whole new set of challenges and opportunities.

These stories are for you.

pull!

the story of Ruth Rutledge

p4

Retirement I: easing out of the workplace help with the transition

p8

Retirement II: just getting started retirement is the time to get down to business p10

dressed for continued success ten steps toward looking great

See page 33 for your Seniors Resource Directory

just getting started p10

p13

breaking the ice Carol Bond, the valley’s oldest hockey player

p16

honouring your elders respecting the wisdom that comes with age

p20

christmas with the family local grandparents share tips for the holiday

p25

after the loss how to cope

p28

p16

heading south for the winter a list of destinations

breaking the ice

p30

seniors resource directory cowichan seniors community foundation

p33

did you hear the one about...? hearing loss no laughing matter

p36

you’ve got to taste this don bodger gets some comfort

p37

on a brighter note with lori welbourne Cowichan News Leader Pictorial November 2012

Produced by: The Cowichan News Leader Pictorial Editor: John McKinley Publisher: Bill Macadam Designer: Eric Morten

p38

Published by the Cowichan News Leader Pictorial, Unit 2, 5380 Trans Canada Highway, Duncan B.C., V9L 6W4 Phone: (250) 746-4471 Fax: (250) 746-8529 E-mail: editor@cowichannewsleader.com Web site: www.cowichannewsleader.com

Winter 2012 Friday, November 23, 2012

Cowichan Good Life Magazine 3

How an Olympic gold medallist inspired his 64-year-old Maple Bay mother to become an internationally competitive rower

Pull!

The story of

Ruth Rutledge

by Maeve Maguire The television announcer calling the Head of the Charles regatta — one of the most challenging rowing races in the world — announced the oncoming boat to the audience.

“Here comes Maple Bay Rowing Club from Duncan B.C., representing the western-most rowing club in Canada. Ruth Rutledge was a bronze medalist in the crash-B indoor rowing competition last year and she is mother to Canadian rower Ben Rutledge. Have a great row Maple Bay!” That Rutledge was recognized for her rowing achievement at the international event is impressive considering she took her first stroke only four years ago. She was inspired by her son, Ben, who rowed in the gold medal-winning Canadian men’s eight boat in Beijing, and she lives in Maple Bay where a rowing club is steps from her door.

“I’ve looked out on Maple Bay for years and thought ‘I’d like to be on that water.’ I didn’t know how, I didn’t think about the rowing club. I just thought the water is a serene, calm, beautiful place to be.”

Rutledge, 64, was hooked on the sport after her first learn-to-row course. She knew instinctively it was a good fit. story continued on page 6

4 Cowichan Good Life Magazine

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It didn’t take Rutledge long to advance to international competition, despite taking up rowing just four years ago.

Maple Bay Rowing Club

will offer its next learn-torow session in May 2013.

Cost is approximately $225 for 10 sessions over 5 weeks.

Experienced rowers are welcome to join the masters rowers on Sunday mornings for a twohour session on the water from 9 to 11. Full membership is $600 or you can buy a book of tickets to pay per row.

Private rowing is also available.

Find contact information at maplebayrowingclub.ca. continued from page 4 “I watched Ben row for years. I felt like I understood it. It was familiar.

There’s a huge possibility if I hadn’t been in the environment I wouldn’t have tried it.”

When she was young, Rutledge’s parents didn’t encourage her to participate in sports yet she immediately connected with the competitive aspect of rowing.

“Right from the beginning I wanted to be in a single and I wanted to do well. I just wanted to get better at it.

And I got really really lucky. I had a lot of success the first couple of times I tried it.”

Rutledge lost her first race but won the next seven.

“Success feels good and I kind of knew that’s where I would be. “

Over the years, Rutledge has received coaching at Maple Bay Rowing Club, Victoria City Rowing Club, and from her son.

“Ben coaches when he can. Not often, but when he can. He’s an amazing coach. He looks at you and gives you the one tip that changes everything.”

Rutledge and her son raced together this summer. They lost their first race, but Rutledge conceded it didn’t help her son wasn’t feeling well.

“He had been sick with food poisoning the night before. A perfect mother would have said ‘let’s not race.’ Not me. I said something to the effect of, ‘You’ll be fine, sweetie.’ I didn’t want to miss my opportunity.”

They did better the next time they raced, coming second to a team whose average age was 45 when their’s was 58. Racing with her son means

everything to Rutledge.

“That was my biggest thrill in the past four years.”

Rutledge said her obsession with rowing is based on the incredible challenge of perfecting the rowing technique.

“It’s never right. You’re never perfect.

I rowed in a double the other day. We might have had five beautiful strokes.

A lot of people would think, ‘five good strokes? When you’ve taken a thousand?’”

Rutledge looks forward to rowing for many years. She was inspired by Mary Elizabeth Stone of Berkeley Paddling and Rowing Club who at 85 was the oldest rower at the Boston regatta.

“This is her thirtieth Head of the Charles. If I could row the Head of the Charles when I’m 85, wouldn’t that be terrific?”

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Retirement, part one:

Easing out of the workplace

How a good boss should be able to help you make that transition

by Maeve Maguire Retiring can be a difficult transition, but a supportive employer can make all the difference.

Ginger Bruner, founder of Dynamic HR Solutions Inc., a local group of human resources professionals, said employers play a key role in helping their employees prepare for retirement.

Bruner has 20 years of management and HR experience and advises employers how to ease the transition for the retiring individual and the company. It starts with training another employee to fill the soon-to-be vacant position.

“Someone who has been with the business for 30 years has a lot of knowledge, some of which is anecdotal stuff that is not easy to capture.

“A sales person will have great relationships around the valley and know things about a client, like his or her birthday. It is more than just transferring a client. It’s about trying to trans-

8 Cowichan Good Life Magazine

“Would people really want to work for someone who doesn’t treat people with respect in retirement?” — Bruner

fer a relationship.”

Bruner said employers should communicate with the entire company about an employee who is retiring. Retirement impacts the individual but also the team, and morale may be affected.

“Communication is big, not only for the employee or employees directly involved, but for everyone. I worked in a restaurant and there was a hostess who had been with the company for close to 25 years. She was a pillar in the restaurant.

“When she retired, the team also felt a loss. Guests would ask for her and there was sadness when people had to

say she retired.”

Bruner and the rest of the management team helped ease the hostess out of her job by adjusting her shifts to gradually decrease her hours and giving her time to meet with financial planners to get her affairs in order. Making an allowance for an individual’s needs can make a positive impact on the team.

When an employer doesn’t prepare the company for a retirement, everyone loses.

“The worst case scenario is huge staffing shortages. When someone retires and the company doesn’t plan for it, there is a gap and a loss of knowledge.

Owners can’t know every piece of information.”

Bruner said some benefit plans have an employee-assistance program, which includes counselling, financial planning, and legal services. Employers can inform their employees about these benefits, which can be helpful to someone heading into retirement— especially an unexpected one.

Cowichan News Leader Pictorial November 2012

According to the third-annual RBC Retirement Myths and Realities Poll:

“An unexpected retirement can happen for health reasons. If not the employee’s own health, then that of someone they are caring for. It pulls them away from being able to be at work.”

Leaving work abruptly can affect more than income. Bruner said there is more Only 62% of retired boomers to retirement than dollars and cents.

“Traditionally, we think of retirement have the choice about when to as a money game. People forget work retire. provides more than financial means.

20% of retired boomers knew There’s a social aspect. Many people they were going to retire one who retire go back to work because they month or less before their miss being around people and feeling retirement. satisfaction for contributing meaningfully to something.”

42% had less than six months’ Bruner, who is a board member for Volnotice before they retired. unteer Victoria, suggested retirees seek 78% say they wanted to enjoy community involvement and volunteeran active retirement while their ing as ways to fill that gap. health was good.

Bruner said a successful retirement is a team effort.

34% said being healthy was the “It’s a personal thing to retire. A wise em- main reason for retiring, ahead ployer will support employees through of having enough money. retirement. The rest of the team is 25% said the main reason for watching how employees are managed. retiring was being unhappy at Would people really want to work for someone who doesn’t treat people with work. respect in retirement?”

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Retirement, part two:

Bryan Rempel

just getting

started Boomers turning retirement into a springboard for really getting down to business

by Maeve Maguire Retirement isn’t in 60-year-old Bryan Rempel’s vocabulary.

“I feel more energized and creative now than I did in my 40s. It has little to do with money.”

Rempel has been a business owner for 15 years, and in June he started a new business called Inter-Actions, a video-marketing service. Rempel believes it’s a waste of human capital if boomers retire at 65.

“Retirement is an artificial construct by government from a time when most people died at 65. People are living much longer than they did.

My dad still has a business and he’s in his mid-80s. The brain is like a muscle; when you don’t use it, it’ll go away.”

Nor is it possible for many people to retire at 65. Rempel said interest rates and life circumstances contribute to more boomers continuing to work later in life.

“Not everyone has a smooth chart to the finish line. Things like divorce, bankruptcy mean you don’t end up at 65 with a wad of cash. Especially in a 1% interest environment.”

Cathy Robertson, manager at Community Futures Cowichan, said people older than 50 can be successful entrepreneurs. She thinks the Cowichan Valley could begin to see more businesses owned by boomers like Rempel. story continued on page 12

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Cowichan Good Life Magazine 11

continued from page 10 “They have the capital, the time, and the savvy. The Cowichan Valley is ripe for it. Lifestyle is the biggest motivating factor and we have a lot to offer for lifestyle here. Location, weather, amenities and the great outdoors.”

Robertson believes debt, good health, and staying connected are other motivating factors for entrepreneurial boomers.

“Some people can’t afford to retire.

Maybe they still have a mortgage. Also, people are healthier and still need a lot of stimulation in their day. And having a job keeps them connected in the young world. They have a lot to contribute.”

Rempel agrees Cowichan is a great place for a business owner. Rempel and his wife moved to the Cowichan Valley from Calgary three years ago.

“We were sick and tired of winter and we thought Mill Bay was the most beautiful place in the world. There are a lot of people coming from Alberta looking for other opportunities. They aren’t coming to vegetate. It’s easy to excel on the island, especially with technology as it is today.”

Rempel said older business owners benefit the community because they hire young people.

“One of my clients hired a 35-year-old young guy to run his company. The old guy has a dream and needs a young guy to execute it. I’m hiring people 30 years younger than me to do design and communications.”

Rempel has advice for anyone starting a business, no matter what their age.

“Get a mentor. A mentor is someone who is in life where you want to be, doing what you want to do, doing it successfully, and is willing to give you the time to help you do the same thing.”

Rempel said mentors minimize risk and give a person tremendous stability. He said you may have to pay for knowledge, but it’s worth it.

“If you don’t pay, you don’t pay attention. People say experience is the best teacher. The best is actually someone else’s experience. That’s better than you spending 20 years getting it. That’s why you pay for it and it’s so worth it.”

12 Cowichan Good Life Magazine

Cathy Robertson says local retirees have the capital, the time and the savvy to become a major force in the Cowichan business scene.

Cathy Robertson at Community Futures shared a survey

conducted by Environics Research Group that revealed Canadians closing in on their retirement years are increasingly looking to create their own businesses. According to the results of their online survey of 1,000 Canadians: 15% of boomers have started a business.

39% of boomers have considered launching a small business prior to retirement.

Being your own boss, the opportunity to make more money and a sense of personal achievement or pride are the top reasons for starting a business.

Challenges for boomers launching a small business are: 42% say getting financing.

38% say taking on added debt.

36% say balancing business and personal finances.

There are 26,860 people in the Cowichan Valley between age 45 and 64.

Cowichan News Leader Pictorial March 2012

dressed

for continued

success Making your golden years look good on you in 10 easy pieces

by Maeve Maguire

Sharp-dressed man Miles Anderson makes it his business to make people look good

Cowichan News Leader Pictorial March 2012

Miles Anderson walked out of his bedroom on a Monday morning, dressed in his tailored Europeanstyle black suit, white dress shirt, red tie and matching pocket square.

He was feeling like a million bucks, and his wife took notice.

“My wife said, ‘Wow, I haven’t seen you in that suit for a while. You look superb.’ That kind of feedback just gives you a boost.”

Anderson, who works as a fashion consultant at Outlooks for Men in downtown Duncan, said dressing well gives a man purpose to his walk.

“It can feel vain but it’s not about vanity. A welldressed and put-together fella is going to feel that much more confident in himself.” story continued on page 14

Cowichan Good Life Magazine 13

Anderson offers a tip many people many not know: you can continued from page 13 Anderson recommends every man build a wardrobe of ten wear brown shoes with grey trousers. basic pieces, including a black suit, white dress shirt, a pair “I have a grey suit I wear brown shoes with it all the time. of good jeans, black shoes, a button-up vest, a casual shirt, a And the belt and your shoes should always complement each other. “ black belt, a tie, T-shirt, and a coat.

He said these ten items can be mixed and matched to make Anderson admits the initial outlay isn’t cheap. He estimates to feel like a million bucks when dressed you need to spend a variety of outfits.

“The beauty of a classic black suit is you can take the $2,000 for a versatile wardrobe of 10 basic pieces, assuming you’re starting from scratch. But, he said, jacket and pair it with dark dress jeans, it’s a long-term investment. a coloured button-up shirt, a vest and a “It can feel vain but it’s “You can get a lot of mileage out of these transitional shoe — one you can wear not about vanity. A well10 basic items. You’re investing in timewith a suit as well as jeans. You’re getting less pieces that are high quality; these a lot of different looks with a few basic dressed and put-together aren’t throwaway clothes. You can add pieces.” fella is going to feel that clothes that are less costly down the Anderson said you can add colour once much more confident in road.” you’ve established your basic wardrobe.

Anderson said men aren’t always comfort“Once you’ve got your basics, you can inhimself.”— Anderson able shopping for clothes, something he troduce more colour and fun pieces down helps them overcome. the road.”

“A guy might think he is is too big to wear He advises men to be careful of how they add colour. Ties are a great way to add some splash to a a suit. I say to him, ‘No, you are not, sir.’ I’ll get him meamonotone outfit, though Anderson said a tie is a personal sured up; most guys don’t know what size they are. I would choice so be wary when choosing one for someone else. He put him into a cut that drapes him the way it’s supposed to.

All of that helps get him into the groove to build his confialso said to steer clear of coloured socks.

“I think coloured socks are for younger guys. However, dence so he can shop on his own.” an older gentleman can wear patterned and dark-coloured Miles Anderson. Empowering men, one suit at a time. socks, which are more subtle.”

In no particular order, Miles Anderson shares what he believes are the top five mistakes men make when choosing what to wear: 14 Cowichan Good Life Magazine

1 Wearing white socks with a suit or dressier clothes.

2 Purchasing a suit that is too large just because it feels better. A suit and blazer is a tailored piece of clothing and needs to fit well.

3 Wearing casual shoes or runners (even if they are dark colours) with a suit.

4 Wearing washed out, baggy or frayed jeans, yet describing them as dressy.

5 Not wearing a belt with suits or casual attire. A belt finishes the ensemble, no matter what.

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Cowichan Good Life Magazine 15

breaking the

ice

Meet

Carol Bond,

Cowichan’s oldest female hockey player

by Maeve Maguire Three years ago, at the age of 52, Carol Bond laced up her skates to play hockey, something she hadn’t done in 35 years.

“It’s taken a while to come back. The first time I was on the ice it was for a game. I hadn’t practised, I had new skates, new equipment. The first half hour wasn’t pretty. I couldn’t skate or anything. In your mind you think you can do what you used to do, but your body’s just not there.”

16 Cowichan Good Life Magazine

Her body isn’t the same, but neither is the game. Bond grew up playing hockey on the skating rink on her family’s property in Port Perry, ON. Over many winters, she honed her skills.

“All the kids in the neighbourhood came to our house to play hockey.

Playing hockey on an outdoor rink is the best because it gets kids out even if they can’t play in a league. If you’re out on your own rink, you can do what you want and that’s where you get your fine-tuning.”

Bond joined a league when she was

11 years old. There was an established girls’ league where the calibre was high and competition was tough.

“Girls’ hockey was big in the early 1970s in Ontario. It was full contact and really rough. Totally different to what it is now. We would go play in this one town that was our rival and we had to take a police escort because the fans were getting into fights. It was pretty rowdy back then.”

The girls took the game seriously, even at such a young age, and injuries were not uncommon.

Cowichan News Leader Pictorial November 2012

“Our gear was so crappy. Concussions weren’t even talked about.

You just go out there and hit. One of our best players had her leg broken and another player had her tailbone broken. We weren’t even old enough to drive.”

When Bond was 16, she moved to Toronto and hockey was no longer part of her life.

“Life changed. I had different interests. I’m so glad I got back into it.”

Almost four decades later, Bond is one of Cowichan’s oldest female hockey players. She said she doesn’t feel old but she has made adjustments to how she plays the game.

“At first I had to be so conscious about not hitting people. Now I play a different style of hockey. I am one of the go-getters on our team, at least I think I am, or that’s what I try to be.”

Bond plays for the Kerry Park Thunder. She plays for a team that includes six players who are 50, about to turn 50 or turned 50 a while ago. The Thunder plays twice per week from mid-September until the end-of-season tournament in Campbell River.

It competes against other island teams, though the Thunder is a more social than competitive team.

“Last Sunday, we played Nanaimo and because of a schedule change they were short players. I went on their team and played for them. That shows you how uncompetitive we are. If the ref doesn’t show up we go on the honour system. There was one time the other team didn’t have a goalie.

“We still want to win, but there are definitely other teams that are more competitive.” story continued on page 18

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Cowichan Good Life Magazine 17

continued from page 16 And other teams whose players are much younger.

Bond’s team plays against others with players in their 20s, which Bond said is a challenge.

“Our coaches always say, ‘We can’t outskate them so we have to use our heads more. That’s where experience comes in. We pass more, and use our heads instead of chasing the puck. The puck can go a lot faster than we can skating.”

Bond said playing hockey is what she enjoys doing most.

“It’s one of the best things I do now. If I could do it more, I would.”

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Cowichan News Leader Pictorial November 2012

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Cowichan News Leader Pictorial November 2012

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Cowichan Good Life Magazine 19

honouring your

elders Respecting the wisdom that comes with age a given in family-oriented Cowichan society

by Maeve Maguire Cowichan Tribes member and Duncan city councillor Joe Thorne doesn’t consider himself an elder.

“My mother is 90 years old in April. She’s the elder.”

Thorne explained how in the First Nations community, the eldest family member is the elder, a position respected above all else.

“We hang on to elders as long as possible; they are each family’s priority. All of our kids know when Grandma comes in the house, she’s the boss. If she says to do something, you do it. If she’s got a story to tell, you sit and listen. We always go to my mother first.”

Thorne said elders carry knowledge, and it is their responsibility to share it with the generations after them. story continued on page 23

20 Cowichan Good Life Magazine

Cowichan News Leader Pictorial November 2012

Cowichan News Leader Pictorial November 2012

Cowichan Good Life Magazine 21

honouring your

elders Respecting the wisdom that comes with age a given in family-oriented Cowichan society

by Maeve Maguire Cowichan Tribes member and Duncan city councillor Joe Thorne doesn’t consider himself an elder.

“My mother is 90 years old in April. She’s the elder.”

Thorne explained how in the First Nations community, the eldest family member is the elder, a position respected above all else.

“We hang on to elders as long as possible; they are each family’s priority. All of our kids know when Grandma comes in the house, she’s the boss. If she says to do something, you do it. If she’s got a story to tell, you sit and listen. We always go to my mother first.”

Thorne said elders carry knowledge, and it is their responsibility to share it with the generations after them. story continued on page 23

20 Cowichan Good Life Magazine

Cowichan News Leader Pictorial November 2012

Cowichan News Leader Pictorial November 2012

Cowichan Good Life Magazine 21

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Cowichan News Leader Pictorial November 2012

Hospice can help at a difficult time

continued from page 20 “We have to remember what was and what is now. We try to keep that alive as much as possible. The elder’s job is to keep everything focused.”

Thorne explained an elder helps guide their children and grandchildren into the roles they are destined for. He shared a story about how his father groomed his brother to be a mechanic and encouraged Thorne to read “We have to remember books.

“My brother what was and what is ended up as a now. The elder’s job is to cross-country keep everything focused.” — mechanic and I’m a politician.

Thorne Towards the end of his life my father said, ‘I saw it in you as children by your actions. When you eat your food, you are eating my words and I’m telling you this is what I’ve seen.’ We didn’t even know it was happening.”

This isn’t about being in a position of authority. Thorne said leadership is about making sure family traditions are carried on, which his mother does for him, and he does for his children and grandchildren.

“My mother leads the way to make sure things are done right. She carries on our traditions and we share her teachings. That’s a gift.”

Thorne thinks every family should spend as much time with their elders as possible. He said too often people regret not having made the effort to listen to their parents and grandparents.

“People are so busy trying to become like their parents they forget who brought them in this world.”

He said it’s only after an elder passes away that a person realizes the impact of their messages. Sharing an elder’s stories with the next generation ensures their stories will live long after they have gone. story continued on page 24 Cowichan News Leader Pictorial November 2012

Hospice staff and volunteers provide: ♥ Emotional support and information for people living with advancing illness and for their caregivers ♥ Support team available daily at Cowichan District Hospital ♥ One to one emotional support and information for those grieving the death of someone they love ♥ Group support, including a men’s group, a walking group, a youth grief group, a group for those grieving a death by suicide and the Grief Reflections group ♥ Biweekly care clinics offering reiki, therapeutic touch and other relaxing treatments for caregivers and for those living with advancing illness or grieving a death ♥ Vigils for the last hours of life ♥ Library and resources on end of life issues, advance care planning, care giving and grief, including picture books for children ♥ Community education, advocacy on end of life issues

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Client Services Coordinator

Thanks to the generosity of our donors, hospice services are offered free of charge and available across the Cowichan region from North Oyster to the Malahat, including the communities at Lake Cowichan, for people at home, in hospital or living in a care facility.

For more information about Cowichan Valley Hospice services, to volunteer or to make a donation please contact us at 250-701-4242 or 1-888-701-4242 in Ladysmith.

Cowichan Valley Hospice Caring for Cowichan families through advancing illness and grief, since 1981 Cowichan Good Life Magazine 23

continued from page 23 “I always want to make sure my mother’s life is going to go beyond her lifetime. She will become part of my history with my kids. The good things she’s taught us will live on.”

Thorne encourages people to get to know the elders in their community.

“Look into their eyes, at their wrinkles, look at all the stuff this person went through just so you could be here with them.

Just listen. It makes them feel like they are remembered, cared for and loved. Look at their faces. Theer is history there. Happiness, suffering, struggles, trials tribulations. It’s all there.”

Thorne passes on a lesson his mother taught him that has impacted his life the most.

“First, you must learn how to listen; second, you can listen to Joe Thorne (right) says his family (from left, Louie Bob, Neavah Thorne, Sally Gray, Aubree Thorne, learn. That’s going to keep our and Sarah Thorne) looks to his mother, Gray, to keep the family focused. people united.”

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Carol Hunt at the Cowichan Seniors

Community Foundation said there are few opportunities for seniors to interact with younger community members, and it needs to change.

“It’s terribly lacking here. The whole domain of senior support in Cowichan is compromised. There is a huge hole here that remains a concern to us that have a constituency with senior programs. It’s curious because we have one of the highest seniors per capita in the province.”

Hunt said the foundation is aware there is a need to connect these two demographics. They are working with representatives from other seniors’ groups to address the problem, including the challenge of finding funding to pay for a new program.

Hunt’s goal is to build a senior centre in Cowichan where these kinds of activities can take place.

“There are a lot of wonderful elderly people here who are our greatest resource.”

Visit the CSCF website for more information about their programs. www.cowichanseniors.ca Cowichan News Leader Pictorial November 2012

christmas with the

family

Local grandparents share their tips on reducing schedule and gift-gifting stress in a bid to make Christmas merry

by Peter W. Rusland Fairness, and going with the family flow, is how some valley grandparents play fair with Christmas gift-giving.

“I send them each a cheque for the same amount,” said Lionel Laviolette. “They’re saving it for college.”

“I do gift certificates,” noted Astrid Notte. “My eldest grandchild, Monique, is in university, and says ‘I need money for groceries’, so it’s a Superstore kind of thing.

“For Spencer (8), my plan is to take him to the Red Balloon (toy shop) so he can pick out something.”

Pauline Dunlop called her gift-giving “pretty equal” among three grandkids, and a great-grandchild.

“It depends on their age, so we usually ask the parents, and take our cue from their answer.”

Pat Fischer perennially gives pajamas to her four grandkids and great-grandchild.

“They love it every year.”

John Jones has one easy grandchild to buy for, and one that requires more thought.

“With the boy, who’s 14, you can get him anything and he’s happy. If I had the money, I’d buy him a $2,000 oscilloscope.”

His granddaughter is age 10 and good in school “but she’s starting to get interested in clothes. What can you get her?” he surmised. story continued on page 27 Cowichan News Leader Pictorial November 2012

Cowichan Good Life Magazine 25

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continued from page 25 Don Fowlie has grandnephews and nieces, so he keeps gift buying simple.

“We get them hockey tickets to the Cowichan Capitals. It’s good entertainment and most kids get enough toys, money and books,” he said. “It’s hard to get them something special.”

But family gatherings remain special to most grandparents who try to avoid holiday stress.

Fowlie said family comes to his place Christmas Eve “then we go elsewhere Christmas Day. “We get along; there’s no fisticuffs.”

Jones’ wife decides where they’ll travel.

“This year we’re going to Sayward,” he said calmly about the approaching yuletide. My main stress is getting ready to bottle my next 22 litres of ale.”

Fischer stated she never worries about Noel stress.

“They all live in Vancouver, so it’s not hard.”

Joan Lee said her granddaughter lives with her and tells her what she wants, gift-wise.

“My grand-daughter makes me happy. Alternative years she goes to her mother’s in Victoria; otherwise, I do the dinner.”

Jeanette Allan said she doesn’t travel at Christmas to see her six grandkids.

“Our family is spread across the country so it’s a long way.

Our stress is in November, getting stuff mailed out on time.”

Dunlop said Christmas dinner stress is less as everyone brings food and gets involved.

“That reduces the stress, and allows grandparents to enjoy their time. Everyone feels involved, and it’s very Christmasy.”

Painter Don Fowlie gives tickets to the Cowichan Capitals as presents.

And for Gramma and Grampa?

Most grandparents say they have most of the stuff they want.

“Peace, joy and love” topped Astrid Notte’s list.

“I don’t think much about me; I just want my family to be happy, and of course have good skiing.”

Don Fowlie said he’s already got his gift. “Boat parts.”

Lionel Laviolette said he wants nothing.

“I live by myself, and my sister lives in Nanaimo, and we exchange gifts.”

Jeanette Allan simply wants “a phone call” from family, while Joan Lee said she has everything she needs.

But Pat Fischer had one specific gift on her list. “I want an iPad.” Like Fowlie, John Jones said Christmas came early — from Mark’s Work Wearhouse.

Astrid Notte (left) at Mount Washington with family members Craig, Tanya, and Spencer Young.

Cowichan News Leader Pictorial November 2012

“I got a shirt and a jacket.”

Cowichan Good Life Magazine 27

after the loss How to cope and adjust to the loss of your life’s companion this.’ You can prepare as much as you want but the reality doesn’t hit until Cowichan Valley Hospice Society they are gone. There’s an emptiness in your everyday routine. This can be headquarters is warm and welcoming Ambient music plays in the back- quite a bit of shock for some people ground as the receptionist offers a cup even though others may not understand.” of tea.

It’s just the place to visit when you are Kuecks said death and grief brings up intense emotions that some people grieving the loss of a loved one.

Five hospice staff and 140 trained vol- don’t know how to respond to. She ofunteers offer caregiving, support and fered advice on what not to say. companionship to people who have “In our society, people are uncomfortbeen given a terminal diagnosis, and able with grief. You would not believe the number of people who have been those grieving a death.

Shelley Kuecks, the client services co- told ‘It’s been six months, you should ordinator for the Cowichan Valley Hos- be moving on.’ But they are just trying to say something to pice Society, meets with newcomers “You can prepare as much comfort you. When someone says, ‘I to the hospice. as you want but the reality know exactly how She listens to their you feel,’ it makes stories, then pairs doesn’t hit until they are the grieving person them with volungone.” — Kuecks shut down. There teers who provide is no way you can companionship as know how someone feels, even if their they work through their grief.

Kuecks has counselled clients for five loss is the same as yours.” years with the non-profit charity. She Alternatively, Kuecks said there are recognizes how difficult it is to cope things you can do to support a friend or with death, especially after the initial family member who is grieving. It can be difficult for someone who is dealing shock.

“Grief looks different for different with a loss to know what they need, so people. At the beginning, there is a be specific about what you can offer buffer. You are in shock, which is nor- them. mal, and it can be helpful. It protects “It’s helpful for someone to say, “I you from the intense emotions and can drive you on this day, or bring you helps you get affairs in order. After a food, what would you like? You are loss there are people around, taking keeping within your boundaries and care of you, giving you food, inviting clear about how you can help.” you for dinner. Then they fade away Whatever the case, don’t jump in and try to solve their problem. Hospice and you are left alone.”

Kuecks said no matter how much you volunteers learn this, among other prepare for a loved one’s death, it is things, during their training before still a difficult time, even when you being paired with hospice clients for one-on-one companionship or in group know it’s coming.

“I’ve had clients say, ‘But I knew. sessions.

We’ve had two years to prepare for Kuecks said many people find support

by Maeve Maguire

28 Cowichan Good Life Magazine

Shelley Kuecks is there to help those suffering from a deep personal loss cope with their grief

from family members or friends when they are grieving a loss. But for some, family dynamics are such that they don’t have someone who will listen to them and comfort them. That’s where the hospice can help.

“A good time to come in would be in the beginning of any situation. You learn about what we offer for when you feel like you might need something from us. Sometimes people come to us way after the loss, too. Something comes up and they realize they haven’t dealt with it. We try to work with what people bring.”

Dealing with grief: Kuecks offered insight into understanding your grief and that of others: “There is no right or wrong way to grieve.

Some people need to express themselves to others, while others keep it much to themselves. Some find ways to keep themselves busy, while others want to deal with it head-on. It’s often a mixture of these and more.

If you are grieving: Be kind and compassionate with yourself. Loss can change your life dramatically and it can take what feels like a very long time to find a new normal.

Be around supportive and accepting people. Seek out more structured support if you are concerned about your behaviour or feelings, or if you are overwhelmed.

How you can better understand and support someone who is grieving: Acknowledge the loss, be there to talk about the person who has died if the grieving person wants that.

Understand everyone’s grief is unique and individual. Do not compare your losses to theirs.

Get information about grief so you can help them understand what they may be going through.

Don’t try to make everything better for them; just be there for them.

Be specific about how you can help.

Listen, listen, and listen some more.

Cowichan News Leader Pictorial November 2012

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Cowichan Good Life Magazine 29

Lack of sun sends valley residents in the direction where they can find plenty of it

heading

south for the winter 30 Cowichan Good Life Magazine

Cowichan News Leader Pictorial November 2012

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by Don Bodger Desperately seeking sun and fun.

When the amount of daylight hours dwindles at home, the travel patterns of valley seniors are rather predictable in the late fall and winter months.

Like birds in a flock, they head south.

“We do a lot of the all-inclusive types of packages to Mexico, Cuba and the sun destinations,’’ said Kathy MacLellan, the manager of Whittome’s Travel in Duncan.

“It changes seasonally, too,’’ she added.

Hotels.com issues a twice-yearly review of international hotel room price trends called the Hotel Price Index. It tracks the prices paid per room by Hotels.com customers at about 140,000 properties within the Hotels.com network to major destinations around the world. story continued on page 32

Cowichan News Leader Pictorial November 2012

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Cowichan Good Life Magazine 31

Anaheim (because of the proximity to Disneyland), Cuba, Las Vegas and Hawaii.

“It’s busy,’’ said Smith. “People just want to get away.

“Now that the weather’s changed, people just want to travel. We do a lot

continued from page 31

The top international destinations for Canadians in the earlier part of the year were: 1. New York City, 2.

Las Vegas, 3. Orlando, 4. Chicago, 5.

Seattle.

But with a change in the weather comes a big chance on the priority list. Sight-seeing gives way to sun-seeking.

We tailored the list for the present in the valley, Kathy MacLellan with with help from Whitsome of the travel tome’s, and All About brochures for sunny destinations offered Travel and Cruise Centre.

by Whittome’s Travel MacLellan confirmed the list changes seasonally but not too much from year-to-year.

In the winter, she puts the all-inclusive packages of Mexico and the Caribbean destinations of Cuba, Jamaica and the Dominican Republic at the top of the list.

“Caribbean cruises are also very popular,’’ noted MacLellan.

“In the summer, we see a shift to more European destinations — Britain, Germany, France, Italy.

Alaska cruises are also very big in the summer.’’

All About Travel and of sun destinations and cruises.

Cruise Centre has a few different “Once the kids go back to school, destinations thrown into the mix. people start focusing.’’

Manager Lisa Smith cites Puerto It’s a wider range of ages today taking Vallarta and Cancun, Mexico as havadvantages of opportunities to travel ing the largest demand followed by

at different times.

“A lot of people are retiring early,’’ said Smith. “They’ve got the bit of extra money.’’

If they can afford to travel, they’re definitely doing it, said Smith.

Hotels.com’s list of domestic travel for Canadians puts Toronto at the top followed by Montreal, Vancouver, Edmonton and Ottawa.

Canadian destinations don’t vary too much between seasons. The weather isn’t really great anywhere across the country in the winter and obviously hit-and-miss everywhere but often quite decent during the summer, that doesn’t really affect reasons for travel.

“Most of the business we do within Canada is air only, with the top destinations probably being Toronto, Calgary, Halifax, Ottawa, Kelowna,’’ pointed out MacLellan.

“People are normally just buying an airfare to visit family or friends or travelling on business. We may occasionally book hotels for them, but not often do we book tours within Canada.’’

All About’s top five for Canada includes: Vancouver, Calgary, Edmonton, Toronto and Ottawa.

“We do a lot within Canada,’’ said Smith.

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Cowichan Seniors Resource Directory The Cowichan News Leader Pictorial would like to thank and acknowledge the efforts of the Cowichan Seniors Community Foundation and its volunteers for compiling this resource directory.

It has been edited for space limitations by the Cowichan News Leader Pictorial and in no way is meant to be considered comprehensive. Content inquiries should be sent to: publisher@cowichannewsleader.com A more comprehensive directory is available at: www.cowichanseniors.ca

Aboriginal Health

Computer Help

Ts’ewulten Health Centre 5768 Allenby Rd., Duncan Phone: 250-746-6184

eGurus Technology Tutors Gary Marshall Toll Free: 1–855–832–4878 Tel: (250) 709–4291

Adult Day Programs Chemainus Health Care Centre Adult Day Program Phone: 250-246-3291 Providence Farm Gloria Bond, SAGC Program Coordinator 1843 Tzouhalem Rd., Duncan Phone: 250-746-9668 Waldon House Day Program 2041 Tzouhalem Rd., Duncan use entrace off Maple Bay Rd. Phone: 250-737-2037

Community Policing Cowichan Community Policing Advisory Society Donna Brooks, President, 2012/13 6060 Canada Ave., Duncan Phone: c/o 250-701-9146 Duncan Community Policing Office Carol-Ann Rolls, Volunteer Prog. & Services 3-149 Canada Ave. Duncan Phone: 250-701-9145 Chemainus Community Policing Office 9847 Willow St. Chemainus, BC Phone: 250-246-4382 Cowichan Bay Community Policing Office 1721 E Cowichan Bay Rd., Cowichan Bay Phone: 250-701-1961

Cowichan News Leader Pictorial November 2012

Crisis Line Support Vancouver Island Crisis Line 1–888–494–3888 Emotional support and access to Island-wide community resources.

The crisis line operates 24/7/365.

Equipment Loans Canadian Red Cross 2–5855 York Rd., Duncan Phone: 250–748–2111 Fax: 250–748–2163

Grandparents Support Parent Support Services Society of BC Sandi Halvorsen, Program Coordinator Phone: 1-877-345-9777

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Handy Mum Home Improvements & Garden Services Dominique Daviau 970 Shawnigan Mill Bay Rd. Phone: 250-510-3552

Home Garden & Yard Care Lush Eco Lawns John Close 3054 Biscay Rd. Duncan, BC Phone: 250-597-0408 Pam’s Part-time Passion Pam Phone: 250-748-3116 The Barwicks Keith and Katherine Barwick Phone: 250–743–3363

Home Physiotherapy Home Physiotherapy Heidi Bovey, Physiotherapist Phone: 250–701–8876

Home Support – PrivateAbout Time Homecare & Nursing Services Patrick Summers, Manager 104–394 Duncan Street, Duncan Phone: 250–748–0513 Angel Helping Hands Homecare & Companionship Val Taylor, Owner/Operator #6-1040 Trunk Rd., Duncan Phone: 250-746-9946 Harmony Health Care Ltd. John McAlorum, RN, Dir. of Operations Unit 2A–2753 Charlotte Rd. Duncan, Phone: 250-701-9990

Act Hearing and Audiology Inc. Leslie A. Peterson, Registered Audiologist Phone: 250–597–4228

In Good Hands Home Care Sharon Klewchuk, Walt Deelman Phone; 250-701-3936

Home Adaptations & Repairs

Nurse Next Door Home Healthcare Chris Wilkinson, Director Phone: 250-748-4357

Ease-Ability Renovations & Construction Ltd. Dan Nugent Phone: 250-743-1955

Pacific Live-in Caregivers Robin Smith, Owner Box 1771, Ladysmith, BC V9G 1B3 Phone: 250-616-2346

Unique Home Health Care Marsha Todd, Director, Co-ordinator 121 Station Street, Duncan Phone: 250-715-1094 We Care Home Health Services 205-149 Ingram St. Duncan, BC Phone: 250-746-9224

Home Support – Vancouver Island Health Authority (VIHA) Duncan Home and Community Care 121 Ingram St. Duncan Phone: 250-737-2004

House Cleaning Island Domestic Services Sharon Moore, Owner PO Box 232, Honeymoon Bay Phone: 250-710-0864

Housing – Non-Profit, Low Cost Abbeyfield Houses Society of Duncan Marilyn Day, President 5905 Indian Rd. Duncan Phone: 250-748-1352 Duncan Kiwanis Village Society Contact Ron Coulter 355 Day Rd. Duncan Phone: 250-748-4135

Housing – Private Acacia Ty Mawr Jerri Maw, Director of Care 2655 Shawnigan Lake Rd. Phone: 250-743-2124 ext 106 Alpenrose Laura & Bill Loftus 2267 Lochsyde Drive, Duncan Phone: 250-748-3803 Deertrail Cottage Inc. Laurie Gillis, Owner/Manager 1711 Escarpment Way Duncan Phone: 250-746-9641

Housing – Private Dovehill House Marguerite Moskalyk 3326 Creegan Dr., Chemainus Phone: 250-416-0332

Cowichan Good Life Magazine 33

Cowichan Seniors Resource Directory Housing – Private cont Heritage Manor Care Home Tanya Mosure, Owner 1051 College St. Duncan, Phone: 250-748-3488 Lynn’s Senior Care Lynn Scott, RCA 5085 Jones Rd. Ladysmith Phone: 250-245-3391 Nana’s Guest House Sandy Baker, Owner 57 Park Rd., Lake Cowichan Phone: 250–749–3326

Working Together Senior Assistance Karen: 250–732–1043 Sharon: 250–710–1533

Mental Health Support Duncan Mental Health and Seniors Cindy Patrick 3088 Gibbins Rd. Duncan Phone: 250-709-3040

Moving & Downsizing

Pioneer House Bed & Breakfast Alberta Schneider, Owner 6470 Burnett Place, Duncan Phone: 250–746–8280

Every Detail Jane Sheppard 2093 Calais Rd. Duncan Phone: 250-748-3626

Sherwood House Audrey Norman, Manager 280 Government St. Duncan Phone: 250-710-8882

Music Therapy Programs

Wedgwood House Linda Fonck, Manager 256 Government St. Duncan Phone: 250-746-9808 Villa del Sol Carol Reid, RN 647 Frayne Rd. Mill Bay Phone: 250-743-7061

Housing — Vancouver Island Health Authority For details about Assisted Living and Residential Care please phone VIHA’s Home and Community Care at 250-737-2004.

International Health Care International Health Care Providers T. Rand Collins, PhD, MD Phone: 250-732-6603

Meals and Nutrition Gloria’s Food Service Gloria Ramsey Phone: 250-748-9216 Meals on Wheels c/o Cowichan Home Support 20-127 Ingram St. Duncan Phone: 250-737-2004

34 Cowichan Good Life Magazine

Creative Music Programs For Today’s Senior Andrew McCormack Phone: 250–737–1888

Non Profit Societies – Senior Services Cowichan Family Caregivers Support Society Ranjana Basu, Coordinator Shawnigan Lake Phone: 250-743-7621 Cowichan Intercultural Society Deborah Conner, Executive Director 205–394 Duncan St., Duncan Phone: 250–748–3112 Cowichan Valley Hospice Society Shelley Kuecks, Client Intake Coordinator 3122 Gibbins Rd. Duncan Phone: 250-701-4242 St. John Ambulance Lori McNeil, Branch Manager 205-169 Craig St. Duncan Phone: 250-746-4058 Volunteer Cowichan Georg Stratemeyer, Executive Director 1 Kenneth Place Duncan Phone: 250-748-2133

Seniors Groups Chemainus Seniors Drop In Centre Society Murray Shafer, President 9824 Willow Street, Chemainus Phone: 250-246-2111 Crofton Seniors Society Christine Hale, President 1507 Joan Street, Crofton Phone: 250-246-2455 Elder College Jennifer Carmichael, Recreation Programmer 2687 James Street, Duncan Phone: 250-746-0414 or 250-748-7529 to register Ladysmith Seniors Centre Society Cora Maier, President 220 High Street, Ladysmith Phone: 250–245–8885 Lake Cowichan Seniors Centre Jackie Jack, President 55 Coronation Street, Lake Cowichan Phone: 250-749-6121 South End Seniors Contact: Herb Kerry Park Recreation Centre 1035 Shawnigan–Mill Bay Road Phone: 250-743-1171 Valley Seniors Organization of Duncan Don King, President 198 Government Street, Duncan Phone: 250-746-4433

Service BC and Service Canada Service BC Programs Marty Nelson 5785 Duncan St. Duncan, BC Phone: 250-746-1226 Service Canada Centre Linda Granger 211 Jubilee St. Duncan Phone: 1-800-622-6232

Service Clubs Arbutus Travel Club c/o Corry Salmen Phone: 250-701-0965

Chemainus Masonic Lodge #114 Pat Fyffe, Secretary 3052 Hawthorne St., Chemainus Phone: 250-246-3579 Cowichan Toastmaster’s Club #950 Bill Smith, Club President Phone: 250–701-1705 Duncan Kiwanis Club Ron Colter 355 Day Rd., Duncan Phone: 748-4135 Duncan Lion’s Club P.O. Box 52, Duncan, BC V9L 3X1 Duncan Masonic Lodge #33 Bob Crawford, Secretary 5700 Menzies Rd., Duncan Phone: 250-748-1028 Elks Club of Duncan Terry W Sayce, Exalted Ruler P.O. Box 277, Duncan Phone: 250-746-6812 Fraternal Order of Eagles, Chemainus-Crofton #4400 Merv Brown / Bill Yearly, Sec P.O. Box 45, Chemainus, BC V0R 1K0 Phone: 250-246-3401 Fraternal Order of Eagles, Duncan #2546 Tracy Norman, Secretary 2965 Jacob Road, Duncan Phone: 250-746-7100 Fraternal Order of Eagles, Ladysmith #2101 P.O. Box 640, Ladysmith, BC V9G 1A5 Phone: 250-245-2457 Kinsmen Club of Duncan Barry Toporowski, President Email: duncankinsmen@gmail.com Ladysmith Kinsmen Club Duck Patterson, Life Member P.O. Box 324, Ladysmith, BC V9G 1A3 Phone: 250-245-2263 Ladysmith Masonic Lodge #21 Joel Chiri, Secretary P.O. Box 261, Ladysmith, V9G 1A2 Phone: 250-245-4797

Cowichan News Leader Pictorial November 2012

Cowichan Seniors Resource Directory Service Clubs cont Lion’s Club of Duncan Housing Society P.O. Box 52, Duncan, BC V9L 3X1 Phone: 250-748-1044 Lion’s Club of Ladysmith Jim Masyk, Secretary P.O. Box 2293, Ladysmith, BC V9G 1B8 Phone: 250-245-4049 Mill Bay Masonic Lodge #107 2748 Lashburn Rd. Mill Bay, BC Rotary Club, Chemainus Richard Nelson, President P.O. Box 297, Chemainus, V0R 1K0 Phone: 250-245-4549

Royal Canadian Legion, Lake Cowichan Branch #210 Sam Jones, Bar Manager P.O. Box 603, Lake Cowichan, BC V0R 2G0 Phone: 250-749-6041 Royal Canadian Legion, Shawnigan Lake Branch #134 1625 Shawnigan-MillBay Rd Phone: 250-743-4621 Royal Canadian Legion, Young Seniors Action Group Society 1625 Shawnigan–Mill Bay Road, Shawnigan Lake, BC Phone: 250–743–5178 or 250–743–8344

Support Societies, Disease Related

Rotary Club, Duncan Roger Hart, Secretary P.O. Box 473, Duncan, V9L 3X8 Phone: 250-715-3039

Alzheimer Society of BC Jane Hope Phone:1-800-462-2833

Rotary, Duncan Daybreak Holger Heitland, President www.clubrunner.ca/duncandaybreak/

Rotary Club, Ladysmith Michael Furlot, Secretary P.O. Box 875, Ladysmith, BC V9G 1A6 Phone: 250-245-5771 or 250-2452052

Canadian Cancer Society Maureen Hyde 100-394 Duncan St., Duncan Phone: 250-746-4134

Rotary Club, South Cowichan Peter Dicken, President P.O. Box 241, Cobble Hill, BC V0R 1L0 www.southcowichanrotary.org Royal Canadian Legion, Chemainus Branch #191 Marianne Mann, Office Manager P.O. Box 423, Chemainus, BC V0R 1K0 Phone: 250-246-4532 Royal Canadian Legion, Cowichan Branch #53 Bruce MacDonald, President Kenneth St., Duncan, BC V9L 1N3 Phone: 250-746-4532 Royal Canadian Legion, Ladysmith Branch #171 Georgina Lorette, Secretary Allyson Wagner, Secretary P.O. Box 219, Ladysmith, BC V9G 1A2 Phone: 250-245-3031 or 250-2452273

Cowichan News Leader Pictorial November 2012

Canadian Red Cross H.E.L.P. Program 2–5855 York Rd., Duncan, BC Phone: 250–748–2111 Fax: 250–748–2163 Cowichan Valley Arthritis Society Jan Norwood Box 942, Duncan, BC V9L 3Y8 Phone: 250-748-2481

Stroke Recovery Assoc.Cowichan Valley Branch Cowichan Valley Public Library 2687 James St., Duncan Phone: 250–246-4952 Support Group for Low Vision Seniors Karen McClinchey Phone: 250-746-6041

Therapy Dog Visits

Cowichan Valley Regional Transit #3-5280 Polkey Rd., Duncan Phone: 250-746-9899 Web: www.busonline.ca handyDart 1 Kenneth Place, Duncan Phone: 250-748-1230 Wheels for Wellness Society 1894 Bolt Avenue, Comox Phone: 250-338-0196

Therapy Dog Visitation Program, St. John Ambulance 205–169 Craig St. Duncan Phone: 250–746–4058

Transportation Cowichan Seniors Community Foundation 135 Third St., Duncan Phone: 250-715-6481

For more details and updates go to:

www.cowichanseniors.ca

Diabetes Education Program Kathy Park 121 Ingram St., Duncan Phone: 250-737-2004 Duncan Mental Health and Seniors Cindy Patrick 3088 Gibbins Rd., Duncan Phone: 250-709-3040 Heart and Stroke Foundation Janice Krall, Area Manager 401-495 Dunsmuir St., Nanaimo Phone: 1-888-754-5274 Kidney Foundation Heather Johnson, Director of Programs 200-4940 Canada Way, Burnaby Phone: 1-800-567-8112

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hear

Ken Hiles, a veteran of the South Island Musical Society, found his performances improved once he could hear what his fellow performers were doing.

did you the one about...?

Declining hearing with age should be no laughing matter — address it early and watch your life improve

by Maeve Maguire Seven years ago, Ken Hiles realized he had a hearing problem.

Years of working using chainsaws with no hearing protection and driving large noisy trucks contributed to a slow deterioration of his hearing.

“Hearing loss is a funny thing. You’re not aware of it.

You don’t know you have it until someone puts you into a position that allows you to hear correctly and then you say ‘Oh my God.’” In crowded rooms where more than one person was speaking, Hiles found himself struggling.

“I might as well have been a vegetable at the table. I couldn’t participate in the conversation.”

His wife, Janice, was wondering if he was suffering from more than hearing loss.

“It was just so frustrating being around him. He couldn’t hear so much of what was being said. He would misconstrue words. It was almost like early dementia; he

just wasn’t grasping things.”

Ken, who sings with the South Island Musical Theatre Society, then discovered his hearing deficiency was affecting his range of voice.

“I was missing a lot in my vocal training because I couldn’t hear properly. I don’t have a problem with low notes but I was missing the high notes. I didn’t realize I was missing that in my training.”

Janice said it was affecting more than his range.

“He could be in choir and sing a wrong verse of a song and continue to sing it not realizing everyone else around him wasn’t on the same verse.”

Hiles decided it was time to get some help. He visited a clinic in Victoria that advertised a free trial with hearing aids.

“It was more of an advertising gimmick to get a cheaper deal on a set of hearing aids.

The people there weren’t doctors. I paid $5,000 and hardly wore them because I couldn’t stand to have them in. It was like wearing ear

plugs but you could hear all the sound and noise. That was until I met Dr. Miranda.”

Dr. Terence Miranda is a doctor of audiology in the Cowichan Valley who fitted Ken with a more appropriate aid.

“I tried a new aid that allows air to move within my ear canal instead of blocking it off,” Ken said. “I just said ‘thank you.’ I thought I would never hear like this again.”

Janice was equally grateful.

“The difference for me and our relationship was immediate and amazing. He can hear, he can be part of a conversation, he can comprehend a couple of things at once and not shut off.”

Miranda said good hearing is correlated with a good quality of life.

“Good hearing allows us to participate and communicate in different social situations. When someone’s hearing is improved — properly — they experience a significant improvement in the quality of their life. It’s why I love what I do.”

Exercise helps!

Dr. Miranda offers this advice on how to avoid hearing loss.

The hair cells in the cochlea in the ear are exceptionally tiny and sensitive. They require good blood flow. The better the cardiovascular health, the better chance you give to those cells and the less likely they are to get damaged.

Also, avoid exposure to loud sounds. Be vigilant about protecting 36 Cowichan Good Life Magazine

He recommends people older that 50 take a baseline assessment of their hearing, even if they aren’t experiencing loss.

“The baseline is an important part of general health. If there is a change, you know how fast it’s occurring.

Miranda recognizes there is a stigma associated with hearing loss and understands people want a discrete solution.

“Only 25% of people with significant hearing loss actually do something about it. They don’t want their grandfather’s hearing instrument.

Manufacturers have tried to make hearing instruments more aesthetically pleasing.”

Ken isn’t bothered if people know he wears a hearing aid.

In fact, he offers advice to anyone he sees using power tools without hearing protection.

“I go up and talk to them. I tell them if you damage your ears, you can’t get it back, except with aids. I tell them they are being foolish.”

Visit resonancehearingclinic.com to learn more.

your hearing.

Some hearing loss facts: Hearing loss affects 10 to 20% of the population.

It increases with age but doesn’t only happen as you age: one in 1000 children are born with hearing loss.

Because of a stigma associated with hearing loss, only 25% of people with significant hearing loss actually find a solution.

Cowichan News Leader Pictorial November 2012

comfort food Mother and daughter team churn out the traditional fare Perogies are a guilty pleasure for many people.

The Perogy Factory at 104460 Trans-Canada Highway in Duncan churns them out in large numbers to satisfy those cravings. The mother and daughter co-owner team of Jan Beardsley and Natasha Yagelnesky have sold more than 172,800 perogies, more than 64,800 cabbage rolls and countless pots of Borscht since opening in February.

Beardsley married into a Ukranian family and her daughter grew up in that heritage so they put considerable experience to work in their products. They formerly sold the frozen foods out of a Ford Focus for three winter seasons in Nanaimo, Ladysmith and Duncan at the entrance to the B.C. Forest Discovery Centre before settling on a permanent home.

You’ve got S e l l i n g to taste perogies is nostalgic for Beardsley and Yagelnesky, reminiscent of times when people gathered in communities to eat good food,

this

Cowichan News Leader Pictorial November 2012

Natasha Yagelnesky and her mother Jan Beardsley of the Perogy Factory show perogy triangles that are eventually cut from large sheets. photo: Don Bodger

and enjoy friends and family.

People will find their traditional perogies different than what’s commonly found.

“The smell and the look is a reminder of the past,’’ said Beardsley.

“I think there’s some form of a perogy in every culture.

We altered it into our own recipe.’’

“We played around to make it the right dough,’’ added Yagelnesky.

As a commercial enterprise, equipment is used to roll out the dough. But every recipe is made by kneading the dough by hand.

Doughs tend to be thinner than most people are used to.

Every perogy is handpinched and no two are the same with two or three peowith ple making Don them.

Bodger They produce 80 flavours of perogies, including gluten-free, egg-free,

dairy-free, whole wheat and unbleached flour varieties.

There are also 35 kinds of cabbage rolls with beef, pork and bacon and options for such things as buckwheat and sauerkraut.

“This time of the year, it’s more of a comfort food,’’ said Yagelnesky of their selection.

For my sample, I tried perogies with spinach, feta cheese, artichokes and jalapeno with cream cheese that’s one of the top sellers. It was very good and the hint of jalapeno — not too spicy for those who are touchy about that — gave it a great flavour.

Other types of perogies high in demand include: potato, bacon, onion and cheddar; fall squash; gluten-free; and sauerkraut with bacon and dried cottage cheese.

“We make roughly 80 dozen a day to keep up with the demand,’’ said Yagelnesky.

“We knew they (people) already liked our perogies because we thought we had enough of a following,’’ said Beardsley of the previous venture. “We didn’t know if

we’d make it or not. I think every new business goes through that.’’

“We wanted to keep it small for the first couple of years before we did any expanding,’’ said Yagelnesky.

Both put in long hours every day of the week, taking only Wednesdays off — if you can call it that — when supplies have to be restocked. They’re otherwise open every other day from noon to 5 p.m.

Those hours are just a small part of their day.

“Our mornings start mostly at 5 a.m. and we’re out of here between eight and 11 o’clock at night,’’ said Yagelnesky. “It depends how many perogies we sell that day.’’

Beardsley and Yagelnesky are sharing their expertise by hoosting courses throughout December. Sessions run from 7 to 9 p.m. on Dec. 3, 10 and 17 for perogies and Dec. 4, 11 and 18 for cabbage rolls for those who’d like to impress guests with food offerings for the holidays.

Pre-registration is required.

The cost is $50.

Cowichan Good Life Magazine 37

There goes my hero Gammy still embracing life at 89 and showing why she’ll always be my role model Lori Welbourne

On a Brighter Note

Forty years ago I saw a side of my grandmother I’d never seen before.

It was when my younger brother and I were invited to spend a day with her at work.

I was five at the time and she was nearly 10 times my age.

I hadn’t imagined she had a real job beyond simply being our grandmother, but she did.

She was the beloved Grade 1 teacher to a room full of children who called her Mrs. White rather than Gammy, as my brother and I did.

I remember at one point during that day looking over at Jeremie who was watching her play the piano, leading her class in a fun Disney classic. He looked exactly how I felt: in awe and in love.

Fast forward four decades and that’s how we’re still looking at her.

“Is Gammy going to zipline?” my nine-year-old daughter asked earlier this year, when my dad treated us all to a day at Grouse Mountain to celebrate his 65th birthday.

“Probably,” my 20-year-old cousin replied. “She was just quadding at Jaime and Jennifer’s wedding.”

The thought of my little ladylike grandmother riding around on a muddy all-terrain vehicle at my other cousin’s wedding was surprising at first, and then I thought of her motive: to make her family smile.

38 Cowichan Good Life Magazine

As our large group got suited up in harnesses and helmets I asked my nervous-looking grandmother how she was feeling.

“I’ll be OK,” she laughed. “If the little ones can do it, I can do it too.”

And do it she did.

It was a thrilling day for many reasons and my grandmother’s act of courage made the festivities even more memorable. The amazing vision of her zipping down the mountain was only a small example of the bravery she’s displayed most of her life.

Suddenly faced with raising two young sons all by herself, she had to be strong, even if she didn’t always feel it.

“Is Gammy your hero, Mom?” my 12-year-old son asked recently.

“Yes, ” I said. “She’s endured a lot of pain in her life, but she’s never let it get the best of her. She’s risen to every challenge and has decidedly come out stronger than she was before.”

I used to think I learned how to be an optimist from my father, but I now know I also learned it from my grandmother.

Despite her grave concerns for the state of modern civilization and her

habit of worrying about others, I have only ever seen her full of hope and gratitude for her life and the lives of her loved ones.

Refusing to play the victim and taking charge of her destiny is one of the many valuable examples she set for me, and I thank her for that as often as I can.

“I could have done things better,” she will always say when receiving any kind of praise. “If I knew then what I know now, I would have done things better.”

Of course she would have. We all would.

But she was always brave in the moment, and she always did her best.

No longer 10 times my age, Gammy turned 89 earlier this year.

Less than twice my age now, it feels like she’s getting younger as I’m getting older, and we’re eventually going to meet somewhere in the middle and be the best of friends.

In actuality, we reached that point years ago. And I, along with the rest of my family, remain in awe, and in love.

Lori Welbourne writes regularly for Black Press. More columns, blogs, cartoons and videos can be found at LoriWelbourne.com Cowichan News Leader Pictorial November 2012

Cowichan News Leader Pictorial November 2012

Cowichan Good Life Magazine 39

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