Monday Magazine, August 16, 2012

FICTION > ANGEL WITH A BULLET - PART 1 OF 4 AUG.16 - 22, 2012

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CHOOSING A CAREER FOR THE LOVE OF IT Special Feature> Education Section starts page 8 ✔Online learning ■✔Unique courses ■✔ESL training ■✔Rental map ■ TOUR BUS TRAGEDY | CARBON BOONDOGGLE | BLUE BRIDGE COMEDY FESTIVAL 38:33

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NEWS & VIEWS > THE WEEK

EDITOR’S NOTE

City replaces racks, again he City of Victoria has a nice rack — four of them, actually.

This week, bikecrazed Mayor Dean Fortin proclaimed Aug. 10 “Ryder Hesjedal Day” in celebration of the Giro d’Italia star’s homecoming, and DANIELLE even unveiled a few specially POPE designed bike racks — pink news@ “Ryder Racks” — to permamondaymag.com nently mark the occasion, and Hesjedal’s achievement.

“These bike racks will be a permanent reminder of Ryder’s historic Giro d’Italia win in May, and I can’t think of a more fitting tribute,” said Fortin.

“Ryder is a wonderful example of the passion and determination of our local athletes. All of Canada is proud of his remarkable achievement.”

Especially, Victoria. Which is why the city opted to spend $500 each on the four new racks ($250 for creation, and $250 for each installation), with two racks popping up in Centennial Square, and two more adorning the bike skills park at Cecilia Ravine Park in Burnside-Gorge.

This, after last summer’s revamped “V” cluster racks set the city back close to $27,000 — $750 each — for the compact metal racks that hold up to six bicycles.

While the “Ryder Racks” are made to hold just two bikes, all that valour doesn’t come cheap — the new racks had to be specially water cut to bear the logo of Ryders Cycling Society of Canada (RCSC), an organization dedicated to creating and sustaining opportunities for Canadians to ride bicycles, and support up-and-coming riders.

“I want to be able to give back to the sport that has given me so much,” Hesjedal told media. “To represent Canada internationally, I know how hard that is, and the sacrifices that you need to make along the way. I know every little bit helps in achieving your dreams.”

Meanwhile, Victoria riders will continue to dream of the city investing in safer bikes lanes.

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A DAY OF NATIONAL RELAXATION That office may be getting stuffier as summer finds its tardy entrance, but with plenty of Victorians planning last-chance camping trips and trying to stuff four months of good weather into the few weeks we’ve been given, one little town up Island is saying, woah — put the brakes on.

For the first time this year, on Wednesday, Aug. 15, Parksville is hosting “National Relaxation Day” to inspire everyone to take the day off, quit spending and rushing, and just relax. Parksville Mayor Chris Burger will be (literally) taking his desk outside, and many city representatives will take the day off to stop filing paper work and instead enjoy the natural wonders of the area.

“When you go to your doctor they don’t tell you: you need to work more, sleep less, and above all, make sure stress is a big part of

HEATHER FOLLIS

Giro d’Italia champion Ryder Hesjedal has a whole day, and a few expensive new bike racks, in Victoria.

your daily routine,” says Qualicum Beach Mayor Teunis Westbroek, who is joining in with the Parksville initiative that was adopted from a similar campaign in the U.S. The mayors are also urging people to take part in an ultimate relaxation challenge, offering a few pointers: just sit — pointing towards a multicoloured sunset over the mountains if possible — and breathe deeply; splash around in the ocean; take a walk through your favourite forest; dance outside; just let loose.

But don’t be fooled into thinking this whole relaxation idea will catching on in a city as bustling as Victoria, according to our charming Mayor Dean Fortin, who says Parksville’s initiative is nothing more than a “brilliant marketing scheme.”

“This is just not a good idea for a place like Victoria — and 3.5 million visitors can’t be wrong,” says Fortin. “I want my city to be open and the restaurants and attractions to be functioning when I visit it. There’s always something to do in Victoria, and it’s a wonderful time to be a tourist in your own home town.”

Instead, Fortin encourages everyone taking the day off in Parksville to make it an opportunity to rediscover Victoria and see what a beautiful place it is, sitting only a few kilometres down-Island.

Nothing’s quite as relaxing as mayor rivalry.

“When you think of kicking back and really relaxing — where and what do you think of?” says Burger. “Commuting all day on scorching hot asphalt, or do you picture beaches, cool drinks, and the smell of sunscreen in the air? We’ve got the latter in abundance — so, we’re a natural fit.”

Wise Islanders might take the hint: avoid all the propaganda, and just go surfing in Tofino. M

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Pursuing a crazy dream hen people discover that I’m a published author as well as a journalist, one of the first questions they tend to ask (after the query about money, to which the answer always greatly disappoints) is about rejection. When, they ask, should you give up on your dream?

The answer obviously depends on exactly what your dream is, but if it falls into the realm of possibility, such GRANT as climbing Mt. Everest or having a book accepted by a MCKENZIE publisher, then the answer is never. Apart from a dab of talent, the one thing any writer needs is perserverance. editor@ My latest mystery, Angel With A Bullet (read the mondaymag.com opening chapters on Page 27 in a special four-part serialization) is a case in point. I wrote the first draft of this novel 22 years ago. Yep, you read that right, over two decades. I was a young journalist at the time and working for the Calgary Herald. Although I loved my career, I felt that I had let myself down by not continuing my pursuit and love of fiction. I was newly married, had my first mortgage, and my wife and I were talking about starting a family — yet I still had this burning need to see if I could turn this idea I had into a full-length novel.

I’ve been writing all my life for as far back as I can remember, but never received any particular praise or outside encouragement for it. I wasn’t the star student in English class or a stand-out in drama, but I’ve always burned with the need to be a storyteller. Journalism has allowed me to hone my word skills, but it’s fiction that lights up my imagination.

So 20-odd years ago, I sat down and began to write a novel about a young journalist in San Francisco who becomes suspicious about the death of a famous local artist. It took me close to a year to write and edit and rewrite and edit, and then I sent it out into the publishing world to find a home.

It didn’t. The rejections piled up from agents and publishers. Most of them were generic, but enough small words of encouragement snuck through to let me know that maybe I wasn’t completely useless.

Over the next two decades I continued to work for newspapers, raised my family and moved mortgages around to different homes and different provinces. I also managed to find the time to write a few more novels that have been published in Canada, the UK, Germany, Taiwan and Russia. Then, I decided that I should rewrite that first novel as I still loved the ideas and characters contained within. Three weeks after I finished the rewrite, a U.S. publisher snapped it up and will be releasing it in Canada and the U.S. on Sept. 8 as the first in a new mystery series.

I hope you enjoy the excerpts that Monday will be running over the next four weeks, and I really hope many of you will join me at Chapters Victoria for the long-awaited launch on Sat., Sept. 8, at 2pm. M

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WEEKLY REPORT CARD SUBJECT

GRADE

SOME RELATIVES YOU’D PAY TO KEEP AWAY Our despicable criminal grade goes to the man preying on seniors this week. He poses as a long-lost nephew or relative in order to scam money “for car repairs” out of these unsuspecting people. For shame.

Any tips, call Saanich Police. Meanwhile, count your family members.

CANADA GETS MEDAL IN SPORTSMANSHIP We have to give a hand to all Canadian athletes who played with class in this year’s Summer Olympics, especially Richard Weinberger of Victoria who made an irresistibly gold smile out of his open-water bronze. Bravo.

DON’T GET BITTEN BY THIS LOVE BUG Scary news that West Nile is back on the West Coast this summer, and health experts say it may be heading for the Island. Buzz off, mosquito.

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MONDAY MAGAZINE AUGUST 16 - 22, 2012 mondaymag.com

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MONDAY MAGAZINE AUGUST 16 - 22, 2012 mondaymag.com

CONTENTS VOL. 38, NO. 33, Aug. 16 - 22, 2012

NEWS & VIEWS

MONDAY LIFE

3

THE WEEK

16

FOOD & DRINK - PAM GRANT

3

REPORT CARD

29

GEORGIA NICOLS HOROSCOPE

3

EDITOR’S NOTE

6

LETTERS

MONDAY GUIDE

7

KIERAN REPORT

15

7

CITY WATCHDOG

CITY SOMETHING Rising Scum Fest and Fibrations

19

BOOKS Discovering the darkness of the '50s with author Tricia Dower

23

COMEDY Top Canadian Comedians descend on Victoria

24

FILM & LIBATION The Bourne Flaccidity

25

GEEKALICIOUS

26

CALENDAR OF EVENTS

FEATURES

FULL LISTINGS @ MONDAYMAG.COM

ON THE COVER 8-13 EDUCATION SPECIAL The economy is tough these days and the world is changing at a pace that wasn’t even imagined a decade ago. Is it still possible to find a career that will give you joy, provide a sense of accomplishment, and put a smile on your face every morning? We investigate.

Karl Andrews is a craftsman and (although he’ll deny the label) an artist who still creates the iconic neon signs that lit up the youth of the last century.

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COVER PHOTO: DANIELLE POPE X

MAGAZINE is published by Black Press Group Ltd. at 818 Broughton Street, Victoria BC, V8W 1E4

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NEWS

ARTS

Grant McKenzie

Danielle Pope

Mary Ellen Green

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MONDAY MAGAZINE AUGUST 16 - 22, 2012 mondaymag.com

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NEWS & VIEWS >

Tragic death sparks questions about tour buses COUNCILLOR WANTS ROAD SAFETY REVISITED

By Danielle Pope news@mondaymag.com

fatal collision between a tour bus and a pedestrian has left Victorians wondering if downtown intersections and tour bus traffic are as safe as they should be.

A tour bus collided with a pedestrian crossing the intersection of Douglas at Humboldt, from the corner of Nootka Court to the corner of Brown’s Social House, on Monday, Aug. 13.

VicPD says the 27-year-old woman was walking in the crosswalk with a “walk” signal when the tour bus made a left-hand turn from Humboldt onto the main thoroughfare and collided into her. Paramedics pronounced the woman dead at the scene. The 44-year-old driver of the Horizons Coach Lines bus stopped immediately and is cooperating with investigators.

“Right now, it doesn’t appear the pedestrian did anything wrong,” says Cst. Michael Russell, VicPD spokesperson. “Our crash team is still investigating things like sightlines, and what the driver would and wouldn’t have seen. ... It’s likely there will be a charge.”

The collision marks the third serious incident at the intersection in recent years. Only last month, on July 19, a cyclist was struck at Humboldt and Douglas. Police said he suffered no serious injuries, though his bicycle was severely damaged. The intersection was also the scene of another deadly collision with a tour bus 13 years ago, when a Saskatchewan couple was involved in a fatal hitand-run on Feb. 18, 1999 — Michael Misanchuk, a 27-year-old man, died at the scene and his wife was taken to hospital with life-threatening injuries.

City representatives said the city will not comment on the safety of the five-way intersection until all details of the recent collision have been made clear. However, Victoria City Coun. Shellie Gudgeon says it’s clearly time for the city to revisit the safety of this and other downtown crosswalks.

A

DANIELLE POPE

Victoria police investigate the scene of a fatal accident on Humboldt Street.

“With the volume of summer traffic, it’s critical we protect both pedestrians and drivers,” says Gudgeon, who also sits on the Tourism Victoria board of directors. “An idea I really like is getting ambassador crossing guards placed at these intersections, especially during the high tourist traffic of summer months.”

But after the highly publicized hit-and-run incident between a tour bus and horse-and-carriage earlier this month, some are questioning the role tour buses are playing in aggressive driving.

On Aug. 1, a bus struck a horse on its shoulder, causing the horse to jack-knife its carriage and dump its passengers before bolting into Chinatown.

One female tourist was taken to the hospital with a suspected broken arm, and others were injured.

“There’s definitely too much traffic downtown already, and adding an element of danger like this [horse-and-carriages] is completely unnecessary,” says Dave Shishkoff of the Friends of Animals nonprofit group, which has been advocating for the city to remove horses from the transportation mix. “We aren’t against tourism, but there just isn’t enough room for everyone.”

VicPD and the Greater Victoria Harbour Authority sent a media plea out to motorists on Thursday, Aug. 9, to “Slow Down!” regarding cruise ship traffic — specifically, speeding taxis and buses — after a number of voiced concerns came from residents. The warning message came with increased traffic enforcement by VicPD, but Gudgeon isn’t ready to blame the buses yet. She says that, while the collision is devastating, “this is no time to point fingers.”

“Unfortunately, accidents can and do happen.

We are a tourist town, and we need to be a welcoming city to that,” says Gudgeon. “Certainly, when you are a tourist, your mind can be elsewhere and it behooves pedestrians to pay attention, but, of course, it shouldn’t matter if you are a tourist or a resident — everyone should be kept safe in our streets.” M

NEWS & VIEWS > OPINION

MAIL Water fine for swimming Re: The Week - Swim fest water just fine, Aug. 9-15 Great that the community promoters of the Gorge Swim Fest state that they feel secure that the waters are safe for swimmers, but some safety and risk questions might arise due to the CRD's 2007 map showing so many Gorge waterway storm water discharges that were [6]

Don’t just sit there and fume, write to us.

Snail: 818 Broughton, V8W-1E4 E-mail: letters@mondaymag.com Click mondaymag.com to comment directly Not every letter makes it to print, but we do read everything we receive.

labled with health and/or environmental concerns.

On the bright side, if so many problem discharges aren't a safety issue for swimmers, there also can't be any problem with Victoria's long screened sewage discharge outfalls, given that the Gorge has such a small volume compared to Juan de Fuca Strait.

JOHN NEWCOMB, VIA FACEBOOK

MONDAY MAGAZINE AUGUST 16 - 22, 2012 mondaymag.com

Apology is not enough Re: Editor's Note - Discovering our true self, Aug. 2-8 What else is there to do but feel sorry for a person with character like that. We all make mistakes, but this running act seems to have come from his fundamental core as I doubt there was any thinking involved — he just panicked.

I do not believe an apology is enough, especially since you and others have put the apology idea into his head. I think his driver's license needs to be removed for 18 years. Anyway, it is human nature to hold hope that people like this will learn and grow into better human beings. In the meantime, will anyone else date him?

TINA TALBOT, VIA FACEBOOK

magic teeth

gareth gaudin

NEWS & VIEWS > OPINION

STREET SMARTS How do you feel about tour buses in Victoria?

KIERAN REPORT

Carbon boondoggle robs poor to fuel rich overnment spin is usually merely tedious.

However, on occasion it slips into a deceptive state and that is where B.C.’s much-lauded “carbon neutral” staBRIAN tus resides today.

KIERAN In the recent annubkieran@ al report of the govmondaymag.com ernment-controlled Pacific Carbon Trust (PCT) we read: “The most notable accomplishment of the last fiscal year . . . was the achievement of carbon neutrality for the provincial government.”

In fact, our carbon neutral status is nothing more than a tax-shifting scam that dispenses corporate welfare to less-thanneedy business barons.

If you are one of the many thousands of British Columbians already ticked over the ineffective six-cent-per-litre carbon tax on fuel, you will be thrilled to know that your health and education taxes are being used to finance the PCT boondoggle.

Gordon Campbell-inspired legislation in 2007 called on government agencies to reduce carbon emissions to zero, a smoke and mirrors accounting exercise because

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you can’t operate hospitals and schools without leaving a carbon footprint. So, the Liberals cobbled together the PCT, a Crown corporation that would turn the magic of taxation mathematics into a greener B.C. in which savvy corporations would reap all the benefits.

PCT’s job is to find public and private money to buy carbon credits and reinvest the cash on greenhouse gas reduction projects. Jordan Bateman, B.C. director of the Canadian Tax Federation, says: “Only 12 private companies or individuals bought carbon credits last year for a measly $54,050. The rest of the Trust’s $14 million budget was funded exclusively by taxpayers, taking money out of our pockets, classrooms, hospitals and social services.”

In the Greater Victoria area those tax dollars included $870,000 (including HST) from the Vancouver Island Health Authority, $170,000 from the Greater Victoria School District and $116,000 from the Sooke and Saanich school districts.

That’s more than $1.15 million of our precious tax dollars that should have been earmarked for much needed upgrades to hospital and school infrastructure.

Who got the cash last year? Canfor, Interfor and Lafarge for “switching fuels;” Timberwest for “improved forest management;” and, Encana for “”state-of-the-art drilling.” Obviously, these corporate bottomline initiatives would have been under-

taken regardless of PCT handouts. In fact, Bateman says the vast majority of projects were underway before the Trust decided they were worthy of taxpayer support.

“This is just corporate welfare under the guise of green washing. It should be offensive to British Columbians,” Bateman says.

The PCT taxation scam is more offensive when viewed in the context of B.C.’s global greenhouse gas (GHG) reduction efforts.

In June, Premier Christy Clark said natural gas would be classified as a clean fuel when used to power liquefied natural gas plants, and Energy Minister Rich Coleman changed the definition of “clean” in the Clean Energy Act. Now the federal government’s Emission Trends 2012 report predicts that GHG emissions from B.C. will increase by 16 metric tonnes between 2010 and 2020 because of natural gas development.

The good news is the claims of the PCT have come to the attention of Auditor General John Doyle, one of the few public servants with licence to bite the hand that feeds him.

Doyle, whose recent assessment of the Liberals’ fiscal stewardship was scathing, has embarked on an “audit of carbon neutral government” designed to determine if we are actually minimizing greenhouse gas emissions and if PCT’s purchase of corporate offsets are credible.

All hail, the Republic of Doyle. M

I’ve never had a problem with them.

TRISH CADDY, Nanaimo

I think it’s getting a bit too crowded in downtown.

DONNA HAMILTON, Victoria

There’s way too much traffic on the streets. And you can’t see a city from a bus.

KRIS RICHEY, Victoria

Tour buses are a necessary evil.

CITY WATCHDOG

ANDRES OROZCO, Columbia

Ban on all motor vehicles is inevitable ost weeks, my job is to sift through headlines and press releases in order to snatch a grain of truth from the heaps of pointless information flowing through media and political circles here in the City of Gardens. This week, it looks like the pols responsible for dressing up the facts have decided to make my job a little easier.

SIMON Presumably trying to defend The Capital’s NATTRASS No Fun City title against long-time rival snattrass@ Vancouver, the VicPD recently issued a press mondaymag.com release declaring “downtown sidewalks no place for skateboards, bikes,” and announcing a crackdown on anyone foolish enough to use alternative transport in the city’s core.

The release goes on to explain that “the enforcement campaign comes in response to an elderly tourist couple being injured by a skateboarder on the sidewalk in early July,” proving once again that the tourist is king in our sleepy little town.

This announcement surely heralds another which will be of greater concern to the broader public. Victoria Police responded to 715 motor vehicle collisions in 2007, 368 of which

M

resulted in injury. If a single collision between a skateboarder and a tourist is enough to outlaw human-powered transport entirely, residents should expect VicPD to issue a ban on motor vehicles any day now.

Continuing the trend toward radical honesty, the CRD has announced that its controversial compliance with provincial and federal sewage treatment requirements will forge ahead with the creation of a seven-member expert steering committee. In keeping with governments’ general distaste for public involvement in the business of governance, the committee will not include any elected representatives from the capital region.

Residents worried about handing over one of the largest infrastructure projects the CRD has ever seen to an unelected body can rest easy though. According to a recent statement by CRD member Denise Blackwell, the bylaw which will give birth to the expert panel will also include “explicit language to ensure financial accountability.” Not to worry, government bodies always follow their own rules.

Normally, I would decry the tendency of the political class to dress their otherwise obvious bias and callousness up as somehow serving the best interest of the public. While neither of these events is surprising, we have to wonder if the powers that be in The Capital aren’t getting a bit too comfortable out in the open. M

THE POLL Should horse carriages be banned downtown?

Yes, it's too busy for animals

33% 45%

No, they give Victoria its character

21%

Maybe, but I'd rather see tour buses banned

Total Votes: 75

To participate in next week’s poll, go to mondaymag.com

MONDAY MAGAZINE AUGUST 16 - 22, 2012 mondaymag.com

[7]

SPECIAL FEATURE > EDUCATION

NEVER

work a day in your life

BY CHOOSING A CAREER THAT YOU ACTUALLY ENJOY

NEON GLASS BENDER Karl Andrews is a craftsman and (although he’ll deny the label) an artist. He works for Landmark Sign in Langford and is one of a very select group of individuals who can still create the iconic neon signs that lit up the youth of the last century. Although many of these signs have been replaced

by LED lights under plastic sheathes, the vibrant colours of neon simply cannot be duplicated.

“Some companies, like the B.C. Liquor Commission, will not take anything but neon,” says Andrews. “I’m glad.”

Andrews’ hands are scarred and callused from 15 years of heating and bending glass tubing. He holds a thin rubber tube in his mouth as he works, a tube connected to the glass tubing so that Andrews can blow with just enough pressure to keep the glass from collapsing while being careful not to blow too hard and bulge the glass. After heating, he has only seconds to make the bend. Each bend is done individually.

What follows is a complicated process of cleaning the tubing, injecting gas and color and energizing the sign. It can be dangerous (the cleaning is done by flowing 30,000 volts through the tubing) but the results are breathtaking.

“I could be an electrician; I have my ticket,” Andrews says, “But I love doing this work. I see a sign I’ve made and I feel real proud.”

Prospective glass benders can either apprentice with someone like Andrews or take a very intensive course of study in, where else, Las Vegas.

ADULT STORE MANAGER At 23, Becky Davidson may seem too young to manage the challenge. After all, selling a selection of erotic lingerie, adult toys and sex aids would seem to be a pretty tough career choice.

Still, you’d do well not to sell Davidson short. She manages the Victoria Susan James store and her passion for the business is immediately obvious. “We’re about helping people here,” she says. “We have some men and women who come in with medical challenges. Others are very inhibited and embarrassed. We make every interaction sensitive to the customer’s needs while keeping an open mind and making sure we’re not at all judgmental.”

It’s all about creating a comfort level with clients. “This store is not just about pleasure; it’s about health as well,” she explains. “We sometimes forget that sexual health is part of an overall equation. People’s bodies are at different places at various ages and we have to be sensitive to that.”

Of course Davidson could move into managing more traditional retail stores and is considering education that would make that possible at some time in the future. “I may still stay in this business though,” she explains. “It’s nice to help people and bring some joy into their lives. Anyone can sell dresses. This requires a lot more people skills.”

So there you have it. Retail management can be more than carrying dresses to a fitting room.

PERSONAL CHEF DANIELLE POPE

Karl Andrews is a craftsman and (although he’ll deny the label) an artist when it comes to creating iconic neon signs.

onfucius is credited with saying that if you choose to do something you love, you will never have to work a day of your life. Incidentally, that particular bit of wisdom has also been attributed in one form or another to everyone from Plato to Mother Teresa and Martin Luther King Jr. Even Donald Trump jumped on the wisdom train by recently parroting the same point of view.

He made it sound like an original thought, but who would expect less from the Donald?

Still, it seems like good advice.

But the economy is tough these days and the world is changing at a pace that wasn’t even imagined a TIM COLLINS decade ago. Is it still posnews@mondaymag.com sible to find a career that will give you joy, provide a sense of accomplishment, and put a smile on your face every morning?

Not likely, if you follow traditional wisdom.

A recent study in the U.S. listed the 10 best careers for young people to consider. At the top of the list were all the

C

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MONDAY MAGAZINE AUGUST 16 - 22, 2012 mondaymag.com

IT positions. Next were accountants, financial risk management executives and energy engineers (with an emphasis on managing carbon offsets). Lawyers came next with this pithy quote attached: “has there ever been a time when we didn’t need lawyers?”

Medical liaison officers (working for a drug company), and technical claims insurance actuaries and underwriters were also included on the list. HR professionals were close behind with a notation that downsizing meant that HR pros would be needed to help in the ‘culling’ process.

Finally, near the end of the list came teachers, nurses and other health care providers. Apparently greed trumps working for the common good.

With the exception of the last few, it’s not a list that many would find inspiring.

But perhaps the answer is to eschew the traditional list and consider a career that is a little outside the norm. What follows is a sampling of just those sorts of careers. They might be untraditional and may never make the Top 10 lists, but the people we interviewed who do these jobs had one thing in common. They love their work.

Chef Campbell Kearns has a passion for food and a commitment to professional service. He trained at the Southern Alberta Institute of Technology and North Island College and was on the fast track to success in a very demanding field.

But Kearns had a problem. Like too many people before him, he discovered that the reality of his chosen career was not what he expected. He found that the demands of working as an executive chef in some of the best restaurants in the country were anything but fun.

“It was awful,” Kearns says. “I was responsible, not only for what I prepared, but for the work of up to 20 others in the kitchen. The pressure was tremendous.”

That’s when the concept of being a Personal Chef came to mind. He started a company called ‘Entrée’ and hasn’t looked back. “It was a way of getting out of the business while staying in the part of it that I loved.”

Now Kearns prepares personal meals and dinner parties for a full range of customers; folks who are too busy and successful to take time to cook, yet are sick of the restaurant experience. He also has clients who are unable to cook for themselves. Either way, he can indulge his love for cooking without the stress of the very unforgiving restaurant business.

Continued on Page 9

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Continued from Page 8 “I bring five-star dining to your home,” he says.

“I love it.”

It’s a prime example of thinking outside the box — or the restaurant kitchen.

as cosmetologists to bring out the beauty of their clients. These people are brought in to work with the dead, giving them a final bit of respect and caring.

There’s no joking about this job. It’s a calling that uses skills in an unusual context to do some good for others.

MORTICIAN’S MAKEUP ARTIST

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Most of the people who get into work in the funeral business do so because of a personal experience with a good funeral director. So says Janet Ricciuti, executive director of the Funeral Service Association of British Columbia.

“They have experienced the death of a loved one and had a good experience with a professional service that inspires them to get into the field themselves,” says Ricciuti. “And it’s a tough business. It’s part counsellor, part social worker and part event planner. You need for everything to be perfect.”

Morticians train for two years and complete an apprenticeship that exposes them to all aspects of the business. When they are finally certified, they are ready for anything.

Still, one part of the service that can be challenging is the preparation of the deceased. No one wants to see their loved ones looking unnatural in makeup that was not what they would have worn in life.

To address that challenge, some morticians have created a very specialized and highly unusual career. They employ individuals who could be helping the living with their makeup; working

“And IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIeeeeeIIIIIIII will always love youuuuuuuuuooooooo.”

Alright, it’s not like that. Still, in a world where individuals can be targets by virtue of their wealth, politics or corporate affiliation, personal security is a thriving business.

“People assume that you have to be a former law enforcement or military type to work in this field,” says Sunil Ram, the director of operations for Executive Security Services International.

“That’s not really the case.”

The truth is that a good security firm has a wide range of professionals working on either a full-time or part-time contract basis. “It can be important to have good observational skills; skills in languages . . . even specialty skills like medicine. We’ve had clients who have medical issues and we need more than shooters to keep them safe in third-world countries. A heart attack can kill you as quickly as a bullet.”

While it’s true that it’s important to have a certain number of staff who are trained in the more hazardous aspects of personal security, it is just as important that the people with that training are intelligent and circumspect. “When we provide security at the Toronto Film Festival, you can’t tell which of the people in the crowd are our people,” says Ram. “That’s the kind of person we’re looking for.”

Ram started in the business some 25 years ago after a short time in the military. “It didn’t take long to learn that the business was not what everyone imagines,” he says. “But it is rewarding and exciting work.”

It’s also a job that’s unlikely to ever get THINKSTOCK boring. M

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MONDAY MAGAZINE AUGUST 16 - 22, 2012 mondaymag.com

[9]

SPECIAL FEATURE > EDUCATION

Learning for the joy of it GOING BACK TO SCHOOL DOESN'T NEED TO BE A FULL-TIME COMMITMENT Going back to school doesn’t need to be a full-time commitment in Victoria. There are plenty of ways to educate yourself beyond the traditional college or university nine-to-five experience. These courses can improve your on-the-job performance or help you learn something new that will take you places in life you’ve only imagined until now.

TEA SOMMELIER: LEVEL 1 Let local entrepreneurs Jared and Miyuki Nyberg tea-ch you something about tea in Camosun College’s new continuing education course Tea Sommelier: Level 1, being offered for the first time at a post-secondary institute on the Island.

The Nybergs are owners of JagaSilk Teabar (17A-633 Courtney) and Spiced Water Tea and Coffee House (727 Courtney) and have operMARY ELLEN GREEN ated their “Academy of Tea” for more than five years, arts@mondaymag.com training baristas and coffee shop managers about the intricacies of maccha (finely milled green tea) and other teas from around the world.

But the bulk of the Nygards’ business is in wholesale. As one of the few fair-trade tea suppliers, they work intricately with farmers who produce the best single-origin teas from around the world. They mark each package with the harvest date and milling date, a practice that is rare in the industry. Their attention to detail has garnered praise in the New York Times and from respected B.C. foodie Sid Cross.

While the Nybergs offer a laundry-list of courses at their private Academy of Tea (taught out of JagaSilk, jagasilk.com/ tea-academy-academic-calendar), this is the first time the couple will be teaching a certified program, backed by a reputable post-secondary institution. The course will feature teas from

China, Japan, India, Taiwan and will provide the students with a strong foundation on the preparation of tea in a food service environment.

Students will also learn how to pair food with tea, how to make a tea menu, how to train other people in tea preparation and other useful topics.

“We’re seeing more and more career baristas in town,” says Jared. “It can be so much more than an entry-level job.”

The course is also great for anyone with a brewing interest in tea for their own consumption and enjoyment.

The course convenes each Tuesday for three hours (6:30 -9:30pm) from Oct. 2 to Dec. 18 in the cooking department of Camosun’s Interurban campus. The cost is $567+HST. A special introduction to the Tea Sommelier course is also being offered Tues., Sept. 11 (6:30-9:30pm). $25.

A GLIMPSE OF VICTORIA IN 1862 “Victoria 150” is a year-long celebration of the anniversary of Victoria’s incorporation as a city in 1862. Historian John Adams will take you back to the town as it was in the years leading up to 1862 and look at the people, events and buildings of the time. Find out what the Songhees and other First Nations were doing, learn about the diverse cosmopolitan mix of people, such as Governor James Douglas, first mayor Thomas Harris and many others, plus examine maps and photographs that illustrate the infant city.

At Camosun College from Sept. 26 - Oct. 17 for four Wednesday sessions, 7pm-9pm, $95+HST .

AMICA AT SOMERSET HOUSE SESSIONS

Explore the world and history from the comfort of Amica at Somerset House (540 Dallas) with courses and lectures being offered through the University of Victoria. You may register for individual sessions or receive a discount for the series registration.

Individual sessions include: ■ Ghosts and Legends of Victoria: Historian John Adams moves over to University of Victoria to share some of the ghost stories he’s collected over the last 25 years. Join him as he shares some of the most intriguing stories and explains why Victoria seems to have more than its fair share. His talk will include city history, which will also be interesting to The Strongest Name Recognition in the Industry Today skeptics. Oct. 17 from 1-3pm; $21.

■ A Journey through Israel with instructor Paul Chamberlain on Wed., Sept. 19, 1pm to 3pm.

■ Glorious 150th: A Look at some of Victoria’s Oldest Residences in celebration of our city’s Sesquicentennial with instuctor Nick Russell on Wed., Sept. 26: 1pm to 3pm.

■ An Afternoon in…Machu Picchu with instructor Chris Mundigler on Wed., Nov. 7, 1pm to 3pm.

■ Christmas in Old Victoria with instructor John Adams on Wed., Nov. 28, 1pm to 3pm.

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Doctors Dave Hepburn and Rob Sealey wade through the plethora of medical misinformation that creates a cornucopia of confusion in our high-tech, fast-paced society. They will discuss modern medical myths and confront some of the ideas that are easily formed but firmly held thanks to oodles of Googles and viewers of the popular television series House. Thurs., Oct 18, 6:30-9pm at UVic’s Social Sciences and Math Building, $46.

ENCHANTED EVENINGS AT THE OPERA Whether you’re new to opera or already addicted, this course will help you to appreciate and understand its intoxicating world. With special musical guests, explore the three productions of Pacific Opera’s 2012-13 season. Each class will discuss the background and stories of the operas, listen to and compare great singers in the roles, and discover how each opera has been transformed from the composer’s first musings to a finished spectacle. Tuesday evenings in September, October and February in UVic’s MacLaurin Building. $55.

NOVEL WRITING BOOT CAMP Have you always wanted to write a novel, but didn’t know where to start? Join thousands of other writers worldwide for National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo), to produce a 50,000-word novel draft in just 30 days. Taught by an eighttime winner of NaNoWriMo, this course will help you get your plot, characters, setting and ideas ready for a wild month of literary abandon and help motivate you to see your project through. Eight sessions beginning Oct. 3. Wednesday evenings 7-9pm, Clearihue Building with Alisa Gordaneer. $140.

CAMAS BOOKS FREESKOOL Will You Go Down On Me? A group discussion intended to help empower your sexy self with a sassy (and much needed) conversation touching on: sexual empowerment; contraception, including emergency contraception (hormonal and nonhormonal, “natural” options); addressing gender roles and patriarchy in a sexual context; open communication with your partner or partners; BDSM; polyamory; expressing your needs and desires; safer sex in both queer and heterosexual encounters; loving yourself and not being ashamed of your sexuality.

People of all genders and orientations are welcome; however, the focus will be on sexual empowerment for women and trans people. Sat., Aug. 18, 6:30pm.

ECONOMICS AS IF THEOLOGY MATTERED Matthew Cook presents a critique of present economic thinking using ancient and modern Christian resources. The talk will cover such heresies as Gnosticism, “free”-market capitalism, usury, and the corporate person. The goal is to show how present economic thinking is governed by a certain way of seeing the world and that a theological aesthetic can inform an alternative understanding. Tues., Sept. 18, 6:30pm.

THE WAYWARD SCHOOL The Wayward School is a learning co-operative focused on thinking, making and doing, offering skillshare workshops, town hall debates, cook-a-longs, lecture series and more.

Town Council: Food Shed: As part of the Victoria Downtown Public Market Society’s Eat Here Now festival Sept.

9, The Wayward School is hosting its first town council around the theme of food. The event will bring together numerous local food sovereignty non-profits to present short soapbox style presentations about their work, purpose and vision.

The event is free and open to the public, and will be taking place from 11-3pm at Market Square (in the space next to the 509 Pandora entrance). M

SPECIAL FEATURE > EDUCATION

Hunters create rental treasure map STUDENTS BUILD WEBSITE TO MAKE FINDING HOME OR APARTMENT EASIER amie Starke remembers searching for his first Victoria apartment.

For almost three months, Starke would spend more than four hours every night scouring online housing listings, then flipping between pages of Google maps, transit guides and bus links to see if any match was appropriate. “There has to be a better way,” he thought.

Now, thanks to the technological efforts of Starke and fellow UVic computer science PhD student Lars Gramme, there is.

DANIELLE POPE A house-hunting treasure map can now guide news@mondaymag.com seekers through the quest of finding that next Victoria rental, through the use of a new online map tool that allows prospective renters to see home details, location proximity to work, school and transit routes — all through one site: Victoria.RentalMap.co.

“When I was looking to rent a place here, I was frustrated by the amount of time I had to spend talking to property management companies to make sure I was aware of everything on the market,” says Starke, 28, originally from Calgary. “Then I had to look at a map and sort out whether the location works for me. That’s when I decided to take matters into my own hands and create something that would allow users to do both, easily, and in one online location.”

Starke and Gramme are used to the work — both are taking their doctorates at UVic with an emphasis on creating online tools that gather data in a visual, user-friendly format. The pair created the new map, which could be developed for any region, through UVic’s Computer Human Interaction Software Engineering Lab (CHISEL).

Starke was even able to use its earliest version to help find his new home.

“Unfortunately, ‘conveniently located’ doesn’t mean anything to a computer and, if you aren’t from here, it doesn’t mean a lot to a renter either,” says Starke. “The more specific information prospective landlords put into their listings, the better we can link them.”

The site updates every morning at 6am, and currently pulls in the most recent listings and feeds from seven of Victoria’s 18 house-listing sites — Craigslist, UVic Housing, property management groups and others — as well as scooping updated information from Google Maps and BC Transit’s feed. Starke and Gramme have then tied it all together with Scalable Vector Graphics (SVG) — an easyto-view format of yellow squares that mark the spots.

Since the two completed the map mid-July, just in time

J

SCREEN CAPTURE

This new rental site updates daily, and pulls in the most recent listings from seven of Victoria’s 18 house-listing sites.

for the rush of students looking for housing, the site has had 3,000 visits, with 2,095 unique views. As of press time, there were over 800 listings registered on the site.

“It really is a great time to be a student if you are looking for housing,” says Starke.

Despite Starke and Gramme’s generous contribution to Victoria’s housing market and weary renters everywhere, the two have not found any way to make a profit off the site, and intend to keep it “open-ended” so that everyone is able to use the map and even access the technology to use in other cities. And, while many have contacted Starke in appreciation, the project won’t even count toward either of the students’ PhDs — Starke simply wanted to fill a need.

He and Gramme will continue to develop the map and technology behind it. Though the map currently works well on smart phones, the two are even considering investing in an app for the map’s future.

“This really was just an elaborate extra-curricular activ-

ity,” Starke says. “The scientific contribution of this map is not particularity valid for doctorate material. I just needed it, so we made it.” M

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SPECIAL FEATURE > EDUCATION etite, doe-eyed and delightfully innocent, threeyear-old Lisa walked up to Sean Wright on a quiet spring morning and, with one sentence of sweet simplicity, unwittingly convinced him that he had found his calling.

“Mr. Wright,” she said, gazing up at him with a cherublike glow, “you should be a doctor when you grow up.”

Well, Wright won’t be performing surgery any time soon and friends might jokingly submit that he will never actually “grow up,” but, at age 41, his life now has a clearly defined path and purpose thanks to children like Lisa.

“The kids PATTI DAWN SWANSSON are funny,” says Wright, who has news@mondaymag.com discovered his niche at Shalom Daycare Centre, Saxe Point Day Care and Magoo’s Child Care Centre while on practicums as part of his Early Childhood Education course with the Pacific Rim Early Childhood Institute (earlychildhoodeducator.com).

“The kids have a complete and total innocence,” he explains. “They don’t know that some of the stuff they say is, you know, so honest.”

There was, for example, a little boy who referred to Wright as his “other daddy.”

The boy’s mother was reading him a book at home when he interrupted.

“My other daddy does this for me, too,” he advised her.

“You don’t have another daddy,” she told her son.

“Yes I do.”

“No, you only have one daddy.”

“No, I have my day care daddy, too.”

Wright smiles at that recollection because it is a sample of the priceless rewards that had escaped him during his years of wandering to and fro through the workforce in a lengthy search for a meaningful, fulfilling vocation.

In no particular order, he has been a bar manager, a model and a physician’s assistant; he’s also worked at a law firm, a pet store, a grocery store and in security.

“I spent so much time doing what I had to do to keep a roof over my head and food on the table,” he says. “I was doing what I had to do, not what I wanted to do.

“I got fed up with retail. If I was going to work with five-year-olds, I actually wanted them to be five years old. I have very little patience for adults, but I have the patience of Job for children. I’ve always wanted to work with children and, lo and behold, my assessment was as an early childhood educator.”

Toward that end, Wright registered with Pacific Rim and its Early Childhood Education course. He had the option of attending classes at either Camosun College or Sprott Shaw, or completing the 41-week program at home via the Internet. He chose to travel the online route.

“Sitting in a classroom listening to a professor give a boring lecture . . . no, not for me,” explains Wright, who has been working with kids aged 2 1/2 to five and will receive his ECE certificate this month. “I’m a doer. And I found a way that would work for me. I control everything. I decide when I study, when I work.”

P

ONLINE LEARNING OPENS A NEW WORLD AND NEW DOORS

BRIAN R. YOUNG

Sean Wright found his calling after registering for online courses in Early Childhood Education from Pacific Rim.

There was, of course, a financial factor, because you don’t get schooling for free. At any age.

So, Wright applied for, and received, a grant through the Canadian Government Job Retraining Program. He received $4,000 plus living expenses ($425 bi-weekly) as well as $2,000 for books and supplies.

Meanwhile, because the course is regulated by the province of B.C., there were other hoops to jump through, such as a criminal record check, clearance to work in the vulnerable sector (children and seniors), medical clearance and child-minding first aid.

Much like his grades (he’s a straight-A student), he aced all the necessary requirements.

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After earning his ECE certificate, Wright plans to continue his studies toward a diploma in childhood education, which, if he chooses, would position him to work with toddlers and special-needs kids.

“I’ve always had an affinity and affection for children,” he says. “And the demand is high for people in this field.

There’s a child-care crisis in Canada.”

As much as online schooling is the way to go for Wright, he offers a word of caution to others who might consider embarking on a similar journey.

“Doing it online,” he says, “you have to keep yourself highly disciplined.” M

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MONDAY MAGAZINE AUGUST 16 - 22, 2012 mondaymag.com

Learn about the future of e-textbooks & your education! Join us for demos during our Digital Days August 27-31st.

www.uvicbookstore.ca

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SPECIAL FEATURE > EDUCATION

Opening minds with another tongue TEACHING ENGLISH AS A SECOND LANGUAGE BRINGS TRAVEL, MONEY AND OPEN-MINDEDNESS hen Tara Toller heard about teaching English as a second language, she knew it was her gateway to cheap travel. She planned it all out: teach a year or two in a few different countries, then come home and get a “real” job.

What Toller didn’t expect was that she’d fall in love — with the work. She ended up staying in Japan for almost six years, then coming back to teach in Canada, too.

“Many people think that just because you are a native English speaker, you can teach English.

That’s like saying, just because DANIELLE POPE you can eat, you news@mondaymag.com can be a chef at a restaurant,” says Toller, 38. “To teach abroad you can probably get a job without training, but you won’t be a very effective teacher and you will probably be terrified for your first few days — or weeks.”

Toller is now the head teacher at Victoria International Academy (VIA) in downtown Victoria, and also leads the online Teaching English as a Second Language (TESL) instruction at VIA’s TESL Training Centre. For the last 10 years, teaching has consumed Toller’s life, and she’s watched countless students blossom through practice.

“I’ve had lots of mishaps and misunderstandings because of language,” she says. “One day, I had to get my class to do some translation exercises. I had to read a sentence in Japanese and they had to translate it into English. My Japanese wasn’t too great and I ended up asking my class of 13-year-old boys if their penis was busy every Friday night — penis is chin-chin, and father is chi-chi. Oops!”

Whether it’s taking a U-turn on a career path, adding to a university course load or just learning for fun, VIA’s TESL Training Centre sees nearly 100 students a year come through its doors to become teachers, and hundreds more complete the parttime courses online. Prospective teachers can choose between the “bachelor’s level” of TESL, a 120-hour course completed over four weeks in person, or the “master’s level,” a 250-hour course completed over 10 weeks in person. Both courses are offered part-time online, at the same price as in-person: $1,237.50 for the 120-hour TESL diploma, and $2,621.25 for the 250-hour diploma.

Before teachers score their papers, however, all must complete a two-week teaching practicum —

W

and teachers do receive a grade.

“To teach English abroad, all you need is a love for people and cultures, and a good command of the English language,” says Amanda Cabrera, managing director at VIA. “It is an excellent way to travel, and to save money. There is a wealth of opportunity in Europe, Asia and Latin America.”

People who are interested in teaching, but not so much the travel, can find opportunities at home too, even right here in Victoria. And, despite the stereotypes, there’s no age limit or gender preference. Cabrera says the centre trains everyone from university students looking for summer work, to retirees who are looking to supplement their income, travel and meet new people.

The pay itself could make it worthwhile: hourly rates for ESL teachers in Canada ranges from $16 to $50 per hour in the classroom, with most teachers charging $30 per hour for private lessons. Pay for English teachers abroad can range from $10 to $100 per hour depending on the country, and travel and living expenses are most often covered.

There is even work to be found doing live conversation or pronunciation lessons through online mediums like Skype.

“I think more teachers should take advantage of the literal ‘world’ of opportunities open to English teachers,” says Cabrera. “It is an amazing way to live well overseas, has great flexibility and offers adventure and stability, depending on what you’re looking for. I understand that many people have ties to Victoria, but I encourage our teachers to try teaching abroad, even if just for the summer, to take advantage of the plethora of opportunities out there.”

Some of the most popular countries for teaching English right now are Spain, Germany, Czech Republic, United Arab Emirates, Brazil, China, Mexico and South Korea. While job placement is not guaranteed, VIA is regularly contacted by schools abroad looking to recruit new teachers.

But while the job offers attractive benefits, it’s not for everyone, says Toller.

“You have to be very open-minded,” says Toller. “You will meet people from all over who don’t share your world views, and it is our job to teach English — not force our beliefs and values on people who are different. But, if you can accept different points of view, it’s a great career choice.” M

PROVIDED

Tara Toller (centre) gives her students a little taste of a barn dance hoedown.

Learn more about teaching English or the VIA Training Centre at canadatesl.com.

✃

MONDAY MAGAZINE AUGUST 16 - 22, 2012 mondaymag.com

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MONDAY MAGAZINE AUGUST 16 - 22, 2012 mondaymag.com

MONDAY GUIDE > ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

City Something

MARY ELLEN GREEN arts@mondaymag.com

TOP PICKS

OUR FOR AUG. 16 – 22

RISING SCUM FEST his year’s Rising Scum Fest features four days of punk, metal and hardcore at various locations around town. Fifteen bands are playing including headliners Guttermouth (Huntington Beach), Keg Killers (Victoria), West of Hell (Van) and the Swingin’ Utters (San Francisco).

■ Thurs., Aug. 16 catch Guttermouth with Gastric Acid, Fableway and The Hoosegow (9pm at Club 9ONE9). $15.

■ Fri., Aug. 17 is punk night featuring Keg Killers, The Role Models, The Sweathogs and Capital City Stalkers (9pm at Logan’s Pub). $10.

■ Sat., Aug. 18 is metal night with West of Hell, Acolytes of Impurity, Abombanation and Mendozza (9pm at Sopranos). $10.

■ And Sun., Aug. 19’s finale show features Fat Wreck Records’ Swingin’ Utters with indie rock band Roll the Tanks (featuring the long running drummer from the Mighty Mighty Bosstones) and Class of 1984 (9pm at Club 9ONE9).

Full festival pass available for $35 and individual show tickets are available at Lyle’s Place, Ditch Records, Absolute Underground and ticketweb.ca.

More info, visit risingscumfest.com. M

T

DYLAN STONE TRIO ROCKS NORWAY HOUSE resh off a successful weekend at the second annual FolkWest, the Victoria Folk Music Society presents the Dylan Stone Trio, Sun., Aug. 19.

Stone’s predominantly folk-rock style of music embodies a deep respect for acoustic roots and folk traditions, but is steeped in the sonic landscapes and power of electric music.

The trio is rounded out by Mike Brooks on mandolin and Adrian Dolan on fiddle.

The night will feature mostly original material bolstered by a few covers and some traditional songs from the 1960s folk revival.

The show starts after the open stage at 7:30pm at Norway House (1110 Hillside). M

F

FIBRATIONS Head down to St. Ann’s Academy Sun., Aug. 19 (10am to 4pm) for the second annual celebration of fibre arts, Fibrations, featuring more than 20 spinners, weavers, knitters, felters and crocheters from across the Island.

The free event features demonstrations of nuno felting, Tunisian crochet, Saori weaving, knitting-wool spinning and more.

There’s also a twoonie auction with locally crafted prizes. Fore more information, visit fibrations.ca. M

India Canada Cultural Association presents

India Mela 2012 Come out and join us in celebrating two amazing days of Indian culture, arts, tradition and cuisine!

Sat., Aug. 18, 11 am to 10 pm • Sun., Aug. 19 11 am to 8 pm Aug. 18 & 19 at Centennial Square • FREE ADMISSION

HENRY IV PART 1 eep It Simple Theatre Productions is Victoria’s Shakespearean underdog this season, going up against the Greater Victoria Shakespeare Festival and newcomers Shakespeare by the Sea. But this resilient local company won’t be left behind. Their production of Henry IV features Christopher Harris as King Henry, Julian Cervello as Hotspur, Ben Sutherland as Prince Hal (pictured above), Kevin Stinson as Falstaff, Kate Harter (who sings in Welch) and newcomer Cameron Butt. The show runs nightly through Saturday at the Metro Studio Theatre (1411 Quadra) at 8pm.

Tickets are $17.50. M

K

Music • dance • Fashion • Cuisine Featuring performances Sunday by A-SLAM & Bollywood Hungama Visit iccavictoria.com for details Quadra & McKenzie

Hardip Ahluwalia

MONDAY MAGAZINE AUGUST 16 - 22, 2012 mondaymag.com

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FOOD&DRINK

MORE ONLINE… mondaymag.com @MondayMag Find us on facebook

MONDAYMORSELS ONDAYMORS Vilaypone (Jess) Keoxayavong, owner of Lao Ventiane invites you to join her this Sunday (Aug. 19) for a charity buffet of Laotian and Thai dishes, plus traditional dance, to celebrate the anniversary of her restaurant and to give back to the community she is proud to call her new home. One hundred per cent of the proceeds will go towards B.C. Cancer Foundation, Vancouver Island branch, for breast cancer research and the construction of St. Paul’s Catholic Church in her hometown in Laos. Tickets are $14 for children and $25 for adults. Contact the restaurant at 250-475-3522 for more information, or drop by 701-771 Vernon Ave.

LIVING LA VIDA LOCA

>

>

Victoria’s Hotel Grand Pacific has been ranked best in the city by Travel & Leisure magazine, which also rated it second in the province and fifth in Canada. The hotel's uber-select, fine-dining “restaurant within a restaurant” The Mark has received a four-diamond rating from AAA, one of only two places in Victoria, and 13 in the province, to do so. Judging criteria included everything from the quality of stemware and linens, menu ingredients, preparation of the food, ambience, plus staff’s knowledge of food and wine. Of the 28,000 restaurants throughout North America that AAA reviews, just 2.8 per cent are awarded four diamonds.

F PAM GRANT pamgrant@ mondaymag.com

or me, one of life's greatest pleasures is grabbing the newspaper after sleeping in on a weekend morning and heading out for a solo meal.

Though Victoria offers many options that make my list for this periodic indulgence, there is one way to make the experience even better. After a week of staring at a computer screen, I need to escape from technology. Unfortunately, most restaurants seem to have music playing, tills

>

The Mark has also received the Wine Spectator Award of Excellence for the seventh year in a row.

This designation recognizes restaurants around the world with outstanding wine lists, offering a well-chosen selection of quality producers that provides a thematic match to the menu in both price and style. This is the second award for the hotel's wine program this year. The Pacific Restaurant received the Silver Glass award at the continued next page

ENCHILADAS AT RICA SALSA IN COOK STREET VILLAGE

beeping or someone who just can't put their cell phone away. When the weather is good, I like to find a spot on the beach or in one of our fabulous parks to spread a blanket and dine al fresco.

Thanks to reader Heather Keenan, I have a new favourite spot to pick up some fabulous food at bargain prices.

Rica Salsa, tucked away in a small food court on the edge of Cook Street Village, provides an affordable gustatory escape to Mexico. Owner Ricardo Beccera and chef Guillermo Ruiz have created an affordable menu loaded with regional dishes in addition to some Tex Mex favourites. Thanks to the use of family recipes, authentic ingredients and the creative adaptation of local ones (feta in place of crumbly white queso fresco, for example) food here will satisfy any lingering craving after a visit to Mexico.

Regular menu items make for tough decisions. If you’re after tacos, choose from fillings including prawns, grilled or lightly battered fish, carne asada or grilled pork, served on flour or soft corn tortillas with crisp shredded red

SUMMER SALE IS Sunday’s E IS OUR NOW ALL 50% ! OFF! NOW ALLOFF 50% Snowflakes - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

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We have received for fall, our first order of Boo Radley l, our first order of Boo Radleyfrom Australia, as well as Sandwich and Tribal. Colours are s Sandwich and Tribal. great, styles are exciting, and it is are definitely exciting, andtime it is to change our season!

e our season!

Sunday’s Snowflakes • Mattick’s Farm • 5325 Cordova Bay Rd. • 250.658.8499 [16]

MONDAY MAGAZINE AUGUST 16 - 22, 2012 mondaymag.com

MONDAY > FOOD&DRINK

FEATURED ADVERTISERS

LIVING LA VIDA LOCA

5

$ 50

continued from previous page

cabbage, lettuce, carrots and chipotle mayonnaise, topped with fresh avocado salsa.

Craving enchiladas? Several varieties are available, but don’t miss the opportunity to try one with Ruiz’s chorizo, made from his grandfather’s recipe, or mole poblano, with hints of cinnamon. Burritos and their deepfried relatives, chimichangas, are perfect walking-around food. Try a couple of salsas — smoky ranchera, fresh coriander and onion, pico di gallo and fiery arbol chili.

Rica Salsa is also a great bet for vegetarians.

Many dishes can be easily adapted for non meat eaters, such as the ample taco salad loaded with black and garbanzo beans, black olives, guacamole, jalapenos, cheese, corn, salsa and sour cream; quesadillas stuffed with cheese, mango and guacamole, or onion, zucchini, mushrooms, green pepper, black beans, and you are ready to go.

Ruiz also creates addictive daily specials, so make sure you ask about them while you’re there. Expect dishes like ceviche, mole verde enchiladas, chili rellenos, tamales, flautas and more. Take advantage of the summer

WEEKDAY BREAKFAST SPECIAL 8AM - 11AM

ª 1150 COOK ST., VICTORIA B.C. • PLUTOSDINER.CA, (250) 385-4747

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weather and grab something to go, or have a seat on Rica Salsa’s patio. And when the cold weather returns, I won't mind a bit. I’ll just be picking up tortilla soup, or chicken pozole to take home instead. Open daily from 11:30 to 8 p.m. at 1109 MacKenzie Street in Cook Street Village. 250-360-1615. M

Fine French Dining at Bistro Prices Table d’Hôte 3 Course $29.95 *****

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What's hot on local shelves By Pam Grant

Bubbly - The Real Deal

W

GOT NEWS?

Outdoor dining also available on our private backyard patio.

Restaurant

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Of course it doesn’t help that I am also a sucker for great packaging — and I have the Absolut vodka disco bottle to prove it — however, its prominent position in my bar may soon be usurped by the latest promotional item from Veuve Clicquot Ponsardin.

If you visit a B.C. liquor store, have a look for this summer’s best package, a bottle of one of the world’s best wines in its yellow retro fridge (pink availbale for rose fans). And if you need an excuse to drink champage, feel free to ponder the Dorothy Parker worthy words of another great woman, Madame Lily Bollinger: “I only drink champagne when I'm happy and when I'm sad. Sometimes I drink it when I'm alone. When I have company I consider it obligatory. I trifle with it if I'm not in a hurry and drink it when I am, otherwise I never touch the stuff unless I am thirsty.” M

www.chezmichelrestaurant.ca

Chez Michel

hile we have many fine, budget-friendly, effervescent alternatives to champagne, there’s something special about the real deal. So every once in awhile, I cripple my budget with a bottle.

If like me, you’re a fan of this tipple with the famous yellow label, you may be interested to know that if M. François Clicquot had not died in 1805, leaving his widow Barbe-Nicole Ponsardin in control of the company, it would be even more expensive than it is now. Under her direction, the company focused on wine production and along with her cellar master Antoine de Müller, Madame Clicquot is credited with inventing the riddling rack, making mass production possible.

*****

Table d’Hôte and Gourmet Dinner changing weekly, check our website:

Victoria’s best unknown brunch VEUVE CLICQUOT PONSARDIN RETRO PACKAGING

Every Sunday 10.30am~2.30pm

MONDAY MORSELS

EGGS FIORENTINA

Vancouver Playhouse International Wine Festival, just one of three received by Vancouver Island restaurants.

MEATBALLS & EGGS

continued from previous page

"We're so honoured to receive recognition from such respected sources," says Reid James, general manager. "Our mandate is focused on giving our guests what they want, where they want it. Ultimately it's our guests that judge whether we're successful in doing that, but these awards are important testimonials as to our standards of hospitality."

Zambri’s take on the benny

Warning: this may cause severe addiction

SUNDAY FRITTATA The omelette, upgraded Full menu at zambris.ca Book your table today: 250.360.1171 or visit zambris.ca

Contact me at pamgrant@mondaymag.com

820 Yates Street, Victoria BC MONDAY MAGAZINE AUGUST 16 - 22, 2012 mondaymag.com

[17]

MARC MARON

47 Conan O'Brien appearances Host of ‘WTF’ podcast

NIKKI PAYNE

2 time female comedian of the year

BRENT BUTT

Star of ‘Corner Gas’

GET YOUR TICKETS AT RMTS.BC.CA

OR CALL 250-386-6121 GET YOUR VIP FESTIVAL PASS FOR $65 (REG $75, EARLY BIRD PRICING TILL AUG 3) AND GO TO AS MANY SHOWS AS YOU CAN. RESERVE SEATS ONLINE WITH THE VIP PASS. LIMIT ONE RESERVATION PER DAY.

AUG 17, 2012 8:00PM

THE GALA SHOW WITH BRENT BUTT $ ESQUIMALT SPORTS CENTRE

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BEST OF VICTORIA WITH JOHNNY BAGPIPES

VICTORIA EVENTS CENTRE - 1415 Broad St .................................................................. 8:00 PM

GRAHAM CLARK FORT ST. CAFE - 742 Fort St................................................................................................ 9:30 PM THE DARK AND DIRTY SHOW HECKLERS - 123 Gorge Rd East......................................................................................... 11:00 PM MARC MARON UPSTAIRS - 15 Bastion Square .............................................................................................. 8:00 PM NIKKI PAYNE HECKLERS - 123 Gorge Rd East ............................................................................................ 8:00 PM ROB PUE LUCKY BAR - 517 Yates St ....................................................................................................... 9:00 PM HAUG AND TSCHRID SHOW HECKLERS - 123 Gorge Rd East ............................................................................................ 9:00 PM

20 $ 10 $ 10 $ 25 $ 25 $ 15 $ 10

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FOR MORE INFORMATION VISIT BLUEBRIDGECOMEDYFESTIVAL.COM

[18]

MONDAY MAGAZINE AUGUST 16 - 22, 2012 mondaymag.com

MONDAY GUIDE > ARTS Discovering the darkness of the '50s DECADE NOT ALL ROCK 'N' ROLL AND POODLE SKIRTS

By Clare Walton arts@mondaymag.com

n the novel Stony River, readers are offered a chilling glimpse into the darker side of the 1950s, when certain serious issues were left unacknowledged.

Local author Tricia Dower (Brentwood Bay) reminds readers that the ’50s weren’t all rock ‘n’ roll and poodle skirts as she explores themes of incest, sexual awakening, mental illness, domestic abuse, Irish occultism, sexual violence and stifled homosexuality in her first novel, published by Penguin Canada.

Based in part on a short story from Dower’s collection entitled Silent Girl, the novel explores the maturing of three young girls: Miranda, Linda and Teresa in the town of Stony River.

“It was a repressive time,” says Dower. “Some people idealize it, but I think it was quite dark because of everything that was hidden.”

Dower says she gathered her inspiration from Shakespeare’s The Tempest.

“When I started to write the short story, I originally was going to tell Miranda’s story,” says Dower.

In the famous Shakespearian play, a girl named Miranda is marooned on an island with her father until a shipwreck allows her to interact with other people. Miranda must rely on her father entirely for her understanding of the world.

In Dower’s novel, Miranda’s isolation holds a dark secret.

Teresa and Linda, gaining a glimpse of how young “I wanted to tell her story and then show the women came of age in a repressive era. effect of what happened to her on the other girls,” Dower provokes readers to think and question says Dower. what they are reading within her Throughout the novel, it novel and their own world.

STONY RIVER becomes clear that Miranda is “I wanted it to be entertaining book launch not the only one with secrets. The and to get readers thinking about Thurs., Aug. 16 at two other girls, Teresa and Linda, whether we deal with issues any Solstice Cafe (529 spot Miranda being escorted out better today than we did then,” Pandora) at 7:30pm of a house by the neighbourhood she says.

1950s dress weirdo, Crazy Haggerty. Everyone The novel will officially launch believed Haggerty lived alone, on Aug. 16 at 7:30pm at Solstice encouraged. so the girls are surprised to learn Café (529 Pandora). Admission is Miranda and a baby live there, too. free and guests are invited to dress As the story unfolds, readers learn about Miranda’s in 1950s period costume. Check Dower’s website, life and her relationship with Crazy Haggerty. Triciadower.com for book club menus, video playThey are also introduced to the stories of both lists and ’50s costume ideas. M

I

Back to school!

Come to WIN to get all your school supplies AND brand name fall fashions!

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50 LIVE SHOWS MORE THAN

FROM AROUND THE GLOBE 26th Annual FRINGE THEATRE FESTIVAL

THEATRE > LANGHAM COURT Langham Court Theatre is prepping its 2012-2013 season as a voyage of the imagination with six contemporary and classic plays.

■ 84, Charing Cross Road When: Oct. 3-20, 2012 Director: Sylvia Rhodes Genre: Romantic Comedy Adapted by James RooseEvans from the 1970’s book, this play follows the long distance friendship of a London bookshop owner, Frank Doel, and book writer Helen Hanff in a story of love, long distance and great literature. (Suitable for all audiences).

■ Lady Windermere's Fan, A Play About a Good Woman When: Nov. 21-Dec. 8, 2012 Director: Angela Henry Genre: Comedy This four-act comedy by Oscar Wilde is a satire of morals in Victorian society, with a focus on the dynamics of marriage.

Experienced actress Angela Henry (last seen in Waiting in

the Wings, Rebecca and I Hate Hamlet) brings her love of theatre to this play as director.

■ That Face When: Jan. 16-Feb. 2, 2013 Director: Judy Treloar Genre: Drama Advisory: Violence and coarse language, suitable for mature audiences.

This drama follows the interesting lives of one family and a mother who keeps everything together with a combination of madness and sanity.

■ The 39 Steps When: March 6-23, 2013 Directors: Keith Digby, Cynthia Pronick Genre: Comedy Keith Digby, a noted director and former teacher at Brentwood College, and Cynthia Pronick, a former Langham lead actress, come together to direct the spythriller The 39 Steps. This comedy pits two fearless spies against a series of bad guys throughout England and Scotland.

■ Better Living When: April 24-May 11, 2013 Director: Wendy Merk Genre: Dark Comedy This action-packed dark comedy by George F. Walker features the matriarch of an eccentric East Toronto family as she jackhammers her way to a basement haven. Merk is known for her offbeat productions, having brought Victoria a different take on plays like Pirates of Penzance and The Gondoliers.

■ Calendar Girls When: June 12-29, 2013 Director: Michael King Genre: Comedy Advisory: For mature audiences only Based on a true story (that was also turned into a popular movie starring Helen Mirren and Julie Walters), this play features a group of ordinary women who create a nude calendar for a cause. Director King is a seasoned actor and former assistant stage manager with Langham. M

GET YOUR FRINGE ON! AUG 23-SEP 02 TICKETS & PASSES ON SALE NOW

victoriafringe.com 250 590 6291

MONDAY MAGAZINE AUGUST 16 - 22, 2012 mondaymag.com

[19]

BC O RIIAA,, B C VVIICCTTO R

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[20]

MONDAY MAGAZINE AUGUST 16 - 22, 2012 mondaymag.com

MONDAY GUIDE > UPCOMING THEATRE BLUE BRIDGE REPERTORY THEATRE- 2012/13 A Closer Walk with Patsy Cline Oct. 30 – Nov. 10, 2012 This musical follows the journey to stardom of country and western legend Patsy Cline. The performance stars Sara-Jeanne Hosie (Little Shop of Horrors), who gained great acclaim at both Vancouver Arts Club and the Chemainus Theatre Festival for her role in the musical.

Love Letters March 26-30, 2013 This Pulitzer-winning drama by A.R. Gurney follows the life-long relationship of two friends. Looking at letters the couple sent to each other over the years, the audience gains a view into the lives of the two soulmates form childhood through to death.

PREVIEW OF BLUE BRIDGE THEATRE’S 2013 DREAM SEASON lue Bridge Theatre’s upcoming 2013 season will feature five works of modern classic theatre in what the five-year-old Victoria company calls its “Dream Season.”

With the new season, Blue Bridge is also offering a new option for subscribers — the Blue Pass. Subscribers get the option to pick which two, three, four or five plays to enjoy, instead of having to subscribe to the whole season. So if you hate musicals (if that's possible!), fear not, you can still support local theatre and never have to hear where the rain in Spain mainly stays (in the plain!). Purchase before Oct. 28 to save 20 per cent.

For tickets, visit rmts.bc.ca or call 250-386-6121 or in person at the Blue Bridge Repertory Theatre offices (600 - 3 Fan Tan Alley) between 9:30 am and 5:30 pm Monday through Friday.

Bluebridgetheatre.ca. M

B

Uncle Vanya June 4-16, 2013 A dramatic story of three romances that take place on a remote Russian farm. Uncle Vanya runs the farm with his niece Sonya, and the drama begins when Vanya’s brother and wife come to stay.

East A

Open

Brighton Beach Memoirs July 2-14, 2013 A semi-autobiographical play by Neil Simon, this piece follows Jewish teenager Eugene Morris Jerome as he navigates through puberty and his struggle for self-identity.

Every Day

My Fair Lady Aug. 6-18, 2013 In this classic musical by Frederick Loewe and Alan Jay Lerner, known phoneticist professor Henry Higgins, makes a bet with his colleague, Colonel Pickering, to transform Eliza Doolittle into a lady. Featuring timeless melodies “I Could have Danced All Night,” “On the Street Where You Live,” and “I've Grown Accustomed (To Her Face).”

Buffet Dinner

(except Monday) 5:00pm – 9:00pm

#5-612 Head St., Esquimalt

Bluebridgetheatre.ca.

DAVID COOPER

Sara-Jeanne Hosie in A Closer Walk with Patsy Cline.

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MONDAY MAGAZINE AUGUST 16 - 22, 2012 mondaymag.com

[21]

MONDAY GUIDE > ARTS

LAST DAYS TO CATCH BIG MAMA! The Belfry Theatre's production of Big Mama! The Willie-Mae Thoronton Story runs until Sun., Aug. 19. Don't miss your chance to see this amazing play starring Jackie Richardson and local blues guitarist Bill Johnson. Full review at mondaymag.com/ entertainment/164945106.html. M

Butchart’s Summer Festival THURSDAY AUG 16 FRIDAY AUG 17 SATURDAY AUG 18

The Sutcliffes Chris Millington Deanna Knight & the Hot Club The sounds of & Dancin’ of Mars The Beatles Dancing on stage High energy Gypsy 6:15pm 7:30pm Jazz Swing 7:30pm Fireworks 9:15pm

This Saturday Night

9:15pm MARY ELLEN GREEN

SUNDAY AUG 19 MONDAY AUG 20 TUESDAY AUG 21 WEDNESDAY AUG22

Colleen Eccleston Cuban Fire Sultry harmonies & & John Gogo masterful guitarwork Vancouver Island direct from Cuba singer/songwriters 7:30pm 7:30pm

Night Illuminations every night at dusk Firework Saturdays

Chris Frye & The The Rakish Angles Sweet acoustic Analog Ghosts Roots & original Newgrass, Gypsy music with a local Jazz, Latin heart 7:30pm 7:30pm

Boat Tours 45-minute history and coastline tours

butchartgardens.com/boattours

Gourmet Picnics Available

Enjoy the fun of The Rose Carousel

Reservations 250.652.8222

butchartgardens.com/carousel

Entertainment Calendar: butchartgardens.com/ent or at our Visitor Centre Tel 250.652.5256

Minister of Community, Sport and Development Ida Chong announces arts funding at the Victoria library.

No arts funding cuts this year GOVERNMENT COMMITS $16 MILLION TO B.C. ARTS COUNCIL rts funding for communities across B.C. will remain stable for the 2012/2013 fiscal year, says Minister of Community, Sport and Development Ida Chong.

The government is once again offering up $16,831,000 that will be distributed to artists and cultural organizations throughout the province by the B.C. Arts Council (BCAC), a 15-member publicly funded independent agency chaired by Stan Hamilton (since Oct. 2010).

Of that $16,831,000, $7.931 million comes from

A

the Ministry of Community, Sport and Cultural Development, $2.15 million from the BC150 Cultural Fund (a $150 million interest-generating endowment fund) and $6.75 million from the 2010 Sport and Arts Legacy.

Artists and other organizations apply for grants (bcartscouncil.ca) and the council enlists input from the arts community to evaluate funding applications through an independent peer review process.

Last year more than 1,000 grants were approved in 200 communities across the province. M

Westshore Centre is the school of choice for over 3000 students annually. We have classes that run during the day, evening and even on weekends.

Open 12 months of the year because ANY TIME is the RIGHT TIME to learn.

What are you interested in learning?

What would you like to change for your future?

The newest and fastest growing phenomenon in education today is all about choice and flexibility. So, Westshore Centre has on-line learning, face-to-face classes, and a selection of Continuing Education courses.

All of our courses are now available on-line so that learners can choose to study what they want, when they want, and where they want, with only the click of a mouse or the touch of a tablet.

If you have not tried on-line learning before, now is the time to try something new. Westshore Centre operates a “Storefront Classroom” that is open 11 months of the year to support you whenever you decide that you need some face-to-face time with a teacher or if you just want a quiet place to work.

It’s easy to Register, for the learning style that suits YOU best!

Call 250-391-9002 for an appointment with our academic advisor to complete YOUR personal learning plan. *Textbook deposit may be required [22]

MONDAY MAGAZINE AUGUST 16 - 22, 2012 mondaymag.com

www.westshorecentre.com

250-391-9002

MONDAY GUIDE > ARTS

Blue Bridge Comedy Festival TOP CANADIAN COMEDIANS DESCEND ON VICTORIA

bikini

Sing for an

August 23

IDOL

By Mary Ellen Green arts@mondaymag.com

Friday August 31

ith her trademark lisp and signature air-humping moves, stand-up comic Nikki Payne’s reputation as one of the raciest female comics around precedes her. Let’s face it, not many women have the gusto to get up on stage and strip down to their Spanx and broadcast it on YouTube. Payne doesn’t think twice.

The two-time Canadian Comedy Awardwinning Female Comic of the Year and recent Canadian Comedy Person of the Year nominee (alongside the likes of Martin Short and Gerry Dee) tackles all the taboo subjects most women shy away from — sex and the totally unsexy — and clearly has an amazing time doing it.

Hailing from the East Coast, Payne spent years living and working as a stand-up comic in Toronto and Los Angeles before moving back to the small fishing village of Grand-Barachois, N.B. (population 2,678) in 2011, in spite of the fact that it might hurt her career.

“I knew it would be a bit of a sacrifice,” says Payne. “People might not want to book me if they have to fly me from Moncton instead of Toronto.”

But the draw of the coast was too strong and Payne found herself longing for the land of clam digger pants and private septic tanks buried neatly in each home’s backyard. And that, in turn, is reflected in her show.

PROVIDED “The country is weird. In the city, you don’t Nikki Payne will eat you alive (if you’re a teddy bear). know how a lot of things work, but I know where my poo goes. It’s buried in the poo tank in my backyard. I’m responsible for my poo in a way that a show at Hecklers Aug. 18, alongside Kristeen I never knew possible. I talk about stuff like that.” Von Hagen and Peter White (8pm, $25). She’s But Vancouver comedian and promoter Dan also performing in the Gala Show with Brent Butt Quinn knew it was worth it to fly Payne out on the (Esquimalt Sport Centre, 8pm, $50) and the Dark cross-country red-eye for the Blue Bridge Comedy and Dirty Show on Friday (Hecklers, 11pm, $10).

Festival, running Thursday to Sunday at various Blue Bridge Comedy Festival also features locations throughout Victoria and Esquimalt.

Marc Maron, Johnny Bagpipes, Rob Pue, Graham “Before I decided to become Clark, Paul Myrehaug, the only Grand-Barachois comic, Damonde Tschritter and BLUE BRIDGE I was a Toronto comic and Sean Proudlove. through touring and festivals I Kicking off on Thursday COMEDY FESTIVAL met Dan Quinn,” says Payne. with a “Best of Victoria” Thurs., Aug. 16 to Sun., “I think what he’s been doing roundup (Victoria Event Aug. 19 at various is great. He really has brought a Centre, 8pm) featuring locations. Tickets at rmts. lot more comedy to the Island.”

Johnny Bagpipes, and closbc.ca or 250-386-6121 And Payne is excited to finally ing Sunday with a live tapbluebridgecomedyfestival. do a show in Victoria, even if her ing of the Haug and Tschrid com beloved dog, Emilio Estevez has Show (Hecklers, 9:30pm), to stay home.

Blue Bridge has four days “Dogs are just awesome. and eight shows to choose They’re way more cooler than from. people. They get so excited about little things, like The highlight will be Friday’s Gala with when you go out to the compost bin and he has a Brent Butt (from the CTV sitcom Corner Gas), celebration that you’re home. Or they get so excited with special guest appearances by Marc Maron, that they barf and then just carry on like nothing Nikki Payne, Damonde Tschritter, Rob Pue, Paul happened. When I barf, the day is done. No matter Myrehaug and more. If you’re only going to see what activity I was doing, it’s done. If I barf halfway one show, this is the one to see. It’s like an all-youthrough my show at Hecklers, I’m going home, no can-laugh buffet of Canadian comedy. body wants to watch me after that.”

Check out our Stage listings on Page 26 for the But don’t expect it to be all poo jokes and air full schedule or visit bluebridgecomedyfestival. thrusts. Payne is packing along some new material com. M based on more mature life experiences.

“I’ll probably pull out some oldies but goodies, there’ll be a little bit Henderson Park of humping and a bit of Par 3 swearing, but also some Golf Course Go Green new stuff. I talk about Recycle Your my life, that’s what I ADULT do ultimately, and I’ve Scrap Vehicle gone from a huge city Now! to a little fishing village and I recently bought a 2291 Cedar Hill X Road ce 2008 home. which is wild and Island Sin rving The e S 250crazy ... It’s that sprin370kled with humps.”

ERIK’S K’S VEHICLE REMOVAL YO YOUR #1 CHOICE Payne is headlining 7200 250-884-2537

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ng in s Co m e s i

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o p s f or C a n c e r . . .

In 2010 he raised $2,545.31 by sporting a Billy Idol look.

Last year, 2011 he raised $13,935.00...

Kevin Nunn is taking on the BIGGEST CHALLANGE EVER and looking to break his previous fund raising records!

This year, on September 9th, at the University of Victoria, Kevin will pull a Mini Cooper (provided by BMW Victoria) twelve laps (21 km) around Ring Road.

Doors @9pm - $5 Cover 7 3 0 C a l e d o n i a A v e. Vi c t o r i a B C to enter call 250-382-5853 or e - m a i l s o p r a n os k a r a o k e @ s h a w. c a

Friday Aug.17th

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The Triumphs, Sunday Aug.19th plus guests. Free Show Doors at 9pm $8

Deep Sea Gypsies 6-9pm

730 Caledonia Ave 250-382-5853

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MONDAY MAGAZINE AUGUST 16 - 22, 2012 mondaymag.com

[23]

ENTER TO WIN

MONDAY GUIDE > FILM

a double pass to the advance screening of

HIT & RUN

A COMEDY THAT NEVER TAKES ITS FOOT OFF THE GAS

FROM THE PRODUCER OF WEDDING CRASHERS

KRISTEN BELL

DAX SHEPARD

KRISTIN CHENOWETH

TOM ARNOLD

BRADLEY COOPER

EXCLUSIVE MEDIA PRESENTS A PANAY FILMS AND PRIMATE PRODUCTION IN ASSOCIATION WITH KIM AND JIM PRODUCTIONS DAX SHEPARDEXECUTIKRIVE STEN BELL “HIT & RUN” BRADLEY COOPER TOM ARNOLD KRISTIN CHENOWETHMUSIC MICHAEL ROSENBAUM JOY BRYANT PRODUCTIRYANONHANSEN BEAU BRIDGES COSTUME PRODUCERS JIM CASEY ERICA MURRAY TOBIN ARMBRUST GUY EAST NIGEL SINCLAIR BY JULIAN WASS DESIGNER BROOKE DULIEN DESIGNER EMILY BLOOM EDITED PRODUCED

BY KEITH CROKET CINEMATOGRAPHER BRADLEY STONESIFER BY ANDREW PANAY NATE TUCK KIM WALTRIP DIRECTED WRITTEN

BY DAX SHEPARD &DAVID PALMER

BY DAX SHEPARD © 2012 EXCLUSIVE MEDIA GROUP HOLDINGS, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

IN THEATRES AUGUST 24

FACEBOOK.COM/HITANDRUNMOVIE YOUTUBE.COM/ALLIANCEFILMS FACEBOOK.COM/ALLIANCEFILMS

To enter send an email with HIT & RUN in the subject line to promo@mondaymag.com by Monday, August 20th at noon.

Include your full name and phone number. Winners will be contacted by phone.

Screening will take place at 7pm at SilverCity on Wednesday, August 22nd

Hit & Run opens in theatres Friday, August 24th!

THE BOURNE FLACCIDITY

SPEAKING ART TO POWER

lthough thriller writer Robert Ludlum was a crappy novelist, the dross of his Bourne books was transmuted into Hollywood gold via a trilogy of smart, fast-paced films that were popular and critical successes. By the time the story of amnesiac assassin Jason Bourne came to an appropriate conclusion that was clearly designed to preclude any sequel, director Paul Greengrass quipped that the next installment of the lucrative franchise would be The Bourne Redundanc. Although Greengrass’s worst fears weren’t entirely realized, The Bourne Legacy — complete with a new director and a new Bourne-style character — manages to take what was once a taut and hyper-kinetic cinematic aesthetic and turn it into something surprisingly flaccid and talky.

In this Bourne reboot, the cabal of government bureaucrats secretly running a rogue program that creates genetically enhanced assassins is fearful that a senate hearing may expose them. They decide to kill off their field and lab assets to cover their tracks, prior to retreating into the shadows for a while. Unfortunately for them, super-killer Aaron Cross (Jeremy Renner, Hurt Locker, Ghost Protocol) survives the purge. Seriously peeved, and very well equipped to make his feelings known, Cross teams up with gorgeous geneticist and fellow purge-survivor Dr. Marta Shearing (Rachel Weisz) and takes radical counter-measures as the CIA ruthlessly hunts them down.

Despite a decent premise and lots of fine actors, Legacy is a flop: the fighting is routine, elaborate chase scenes don’t generate much excitement and the dialogue is dull. Where the original Bourne trilogy was almost literally electrifying, this sequel hits the Snooze button. M

A

est known for his involvement with the Bird’s Nest stadium built for the Beijing Olympics, Ai Weiwei became even more of an international figure when he went on to boycott those same games. An iconic conceptual artist, Weiwei was outraged at the way many of Beijing’s poorest citizens were displaced and trampled on by a ruthless government interested only in pomp and propaganda. It marked an increasingly risky level of public protest from a revered public figure willing to risk governmental wrath to critique China’s autocratic policies.

This inspiring and surprisingly down-toearth man is captured in Ai Weiwei: Never Sorry, a documentary portrait that includes a lot of footage of Weiwei’s more recent struggles with the government, most stemming from his activism after the devastating Sichuan earthquake in 2008. More than 70,000 died, many of them children whose shoddily constructed schools collapsed on top of them. The government refused even to release the number of dead children and Weiwei made an art project that listed all their names and dates of birth.

This led to further confrontations with police as they shut down his blog, posted surveillance cameras at his studio, and physically assaulted him when he went to testify on related matters in Sichuan.

Never Sorry, a debut doc by American filmmaker Alison Klayman, unearths a lot of personal history of Weiwei that helps explain his brave defiance in the face of abusive state power, and the risks he continues to take. Although the person of Weiwei towers above this merely adequate film, it’s a great pleasure to watch. M

B

THE BOURNE LEGACY ★★ Directed byTony Gilroy Starring Jeremy Renner, Edward Norton PG13 - 125 minutes Continues at the Odeon, SilverCity, Westshore & Uni 4

AI WEIWEI: NEVER SORRY ★★★½ Directed by Alison Klayman Starring Ai Weiwei, Danqing Chen NR - 91 minutes Runs Sun.-Sat., Aug. 19-25 at UVic’s Cinecenta

PERFECTLY POTABLE The “Bourne” spies don’t seem to have any fave drinks, so let’s ignore them and head to Chile for an exceptionally pleasing red. Bottled by drunk-sounding Errazuriz, their mid-price “Max Reserva” Syrah is a full-bodied fruit bomb with lots of sweet spice overlaying a core of black cherry. Round but not heavy, this is great value at $20.

FILM & CINEMA CALENDAR OPENING THE ODD LIFE OF TIMOTHY GREEN - (Capitol/SilverCity/ Westshore) Disney Studios produced this rather fantastical family-friendly tale about a childless couple who end up with a young boy under distinctly magical circumstances. Starring Jennifer Garner. Starts Wed. THE EXPENDABLES - (Odeon/ Westshore/SilverCity) Expect lots of manly mayhem as a group of aging mercenaries (played by aging Hollywood mercenaries like Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris and Bruce Willis) go up against a very nasty adversary. Starts Fri. PARANORMAN - (Capitol/SilverCity/ Uni 4/Westshore) In what promises to be an amusingly morbid slice of family animation, a misunderstood boy who can talk to the dead is the only hope to save his town from an army of zombies and ghosts activated by a centuries-old curse. Starts Fri. SPARKLE - (Odeon) The late Whitney Houston is one of the stars of this musical drama about three sisters who form a Motown girl group, only to see fame begin to erode their close-knit family. Starts Fri.

CONTINUING FACEBOOK.COM/ALLIANCEFILMS

[24]

THEEXPENDABLES2FILM.COM

YOUTUBE.COM/ALLIANCEFILMS

MONDAY MAGAZINE AUGUST 16 - 22, 2012 mondaymag.com

★★★ MAGIC MIKE - (Caprice) Channing Tatum stars as a male stripper who takes a protegé under his wing, then eventually has to rethink his lifestyle. Directed by Steven Soderbergh.

Email your listing info to calendar@mondaymag.com or enter it online at mondaymag.com

★★★½ THE AMAZING SPIDER– MAN - (Capitol/Caprice) Little-known actor Andrew Garfield suits up as everyone's favourite webslinger in a super hero movie that's smart enough to know that a great coming-of-age story is more compelling than routine action scenes. Co-starring Emma Stone. ★★★★ BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD - (Odeon) Nothing but raves have greeted this unusual and touching drama, which uses moments of magic realism to portray the inner life of a young girl who is part of a small community of poor Louisiana folk who live entirely "off the grid." ★★★½ THE BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL - (Uni 4/Caprice) A diverse group of British seniors seek out an affordable retirement hotel in India, only to find it in shabby disarray. But despite the initial disappointment, India's exotic charms win them over. This heartfelt comedydrama has a sensational cast that includes Maggie Smith, Bill Nighy, Tom Wilkinson and Judi Dench. ★★ THE BOURNE LEGACY (Odeon/SilverCity/Westshore) The hyper-kinetic spy series gets a flaccid and disappointing reboot with a new director and new actor (Jeremy Renner). Co-starring Rachel Weisz and Edward Norton. See review. ★★★ MADAGASCAR 3: EUROPE'S MOST WANTED - (Caprice, Roxy) Those mouthy NYC zoo escapees are up to their usual colourful antics in a wittily entertaining animation romp.

★★★ BRAVE - (Capitol) Billy Connolly and Emma Thompson provide the voices for Pixar's animated tale that is set in ancient Scotland and tells of a headstrong young princess who must rely on her courage to undo a beastly curse. Decent entertainment, albeit occasionally a bit plodding. ★★½ THE CAMPAIGN - (Odeon/ SilverCity) A veteran congressman (Will Ferrell) who is used to running for office unapposed is shocked to find himself facing an inexperienced but effective challenger (Zach Galifianakis). This gleefully crass comedy does a (mostly) good job of skewering obvious targets like political corruption, hypocrisy, and smug media participation in a shameless circus. ★★★ THE DARK KNIGHT RISES - (Capitol/SilverCity/Westshore) A diabolical terrorist named Bane poses a terrible threat to Gotham, as Christopher Nolan's Batman trilogy comes to an exciting but rather bloated conclusion. With Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Gary Oldman and Anne Hathaway.

HOPE SPRINGS - (Odeon/SilverCity/ Uni 4) Meryl Streep can't endure her boring marriage any more and drags her reluctant husband (Tommy Lee Jones) off to intensive couple's counselling to try to revive intimacy and romance. ★★★ ICE AGE: CONTINENTAL DRIFT - (SilverCity) After their continent is set adrift, Manny, Diego, and Sid have some crazy, rollicking, humour-filled adventures. This is very fine family entertainment.

★★★ INTOUCHABLES - (Odeon) This funny and heart-warming French film features a wealthy aristocrat, a quadriplegic after a hang-gliding accident, who gets more than he bargained for when he hires a roughedged black man from the projects to be his care aid. Based on a true story. ★★★ RUBY SPARKS - (Odeon) This charming and offbeat romcom features a nerdy, lovelorn novelist who writes about the girl of his dreams -- only to find her happily living with him one day. ★★ STEP UP: REVOLUTION (Capitol) The series about hip hop dancers shifts to Miami, and has lots of fun choreographing flash mobs of radical dancers who are trying to defeat a rich developer who wants to trash their neighbourhood. ★★½ TOTAL RECALL - (Capitol/ SilverCity) Colin Farrell stars in a remake of the sci-fi thriller about a man who ostensibly takes a fantasy "brain trip" only to get caught up in real life-and-death adventures. Great art direction occasionally battles with talky patches and some B-movie plot twists. ★★½ TED - (Caprice, Roxy) Mark Wahlberg stars in a twisted -- and sometimes laboured -- comedy about a young man whose best friend is a foul-mouthed teddy bear that is a very bad influence on him. Written and directed by Seth MacFarlane, most famous for the TV satires Family Guy and American Dad! MORE LISTINGS ON P26

MONDAY TECH > GEEKALICIOUS

Mighty Mini is still marvellous s the last of the cherries are being picked off the trees (Hey, get out of my yard!), one’s thoughts often turn to expansion of the mind at one GRANT of our wonderful postMCKENZIE secondary schools. editor@ In our special mondaymag.com Education section at the front of the paper, we highlight some of these brain-tuning courses, but thoughts of school also delight the inner geek with new gadgets.

Now, it’s difficult to argue against a new laptop as the ideal choice for students of any age. They’re portable, light and contain everything one needs for both work and play. But what if after a techno-lapdance, you feel like watching movies or playing a game of Limbo

A

($4.99 in Apple’s App Store, and worth every penny for creepy, puzzle fun) on a big screen. Sure there are cables to hook up your laptop (or buy an Apple TV for just over $100 and use a little AirPlay witchdoctory to mirror your screen on an HDTV), but I’ve become awfully fond of one of the forgotten Apple gems, the MacMini.

About the size of a paperback book (if paperbacks were square) this mighty midget packs a full computer into its cool aluminum chassis. Kind of like Dr. Who’s Tardis, its functionality is larger on the inside than it appears on the outside.

I actually bought the original MacMini when it was introduced back in the early 2000s. At that time, its size seemed almost inconceivable compared to the large PC hamster cages most people were lugging about to LAN parties. Back then, being mini took some guts and the ability to withstand unprovoked attacks on one’s masculinity.

But just as the size of a man’s dog has nothing to do with the size of his, err, ego, neither does the size

of his computer. But still, it’s nice that as times moved on, mini became cool.

Since I hadn’t looked at one of these little beauties in awhile, I decided to plug in the latest model and see how it stacks up.

The cheapest MacMini ($599 Cdn; apple.ca) comes with a 2.3GHz dual-core Intel i5 chip, 2GB memory, a 500GB hard drive, Intel HD Graphics 3000 and Apple’s latest operating system, OS X Mountain Lion. Or in layman’s terms: it has the speed and capacity to run every program you need it to.

Sure, as a geek, I’d add more RAM, but I always add more RAM. Can never have too much of a good thing.

The Mini is designed to replace your existing computer, which means it doesn’t come with a monitor, keyboard or mouse. I like this. It means if I’ve got a mouse I like or an expensive HDTV or monitor, I don’t have to replace it. I simply plug the Mini in and I’m ready to work.

Light, silent and powerful, the Mini can be tossed in a bag to take to the cabin.

Designed for both work and play, it can hold and play all your digital movies and games, plus all of your important files for that last-minute report. With no need to

compromise, I find it to be an essential part of my home-tech arsenal.

••• Ever since my wife started reading books on her new Kindle, we’ve had a problem.

Not with the Kindle, itself, but with reading books on it at night.

See, the Kindle and its brothers in eBook arms, the Nook and Kobo, are fantastic for reading outdoors. I love my original 1st Gen iPad, but the glare off its screen makes it an indoor reader only. However, where the Kindle shines outdoors, it sucks in the dark.

We tried all sorts of clip-on lights to make bedtime reading more enjoyable, but nothing worked — or didn’t work for very long. But then along came the SolarKindle ($79.99; solarmio.com) that delivers a perfect pop-up LED reading lamp for up to 50 hours without draining the Kindle’s main battery. And it recharges itself when you’re reading outdoors via its built-in solar panel.

How clever is that?

And as a bonus, the 1,500 mAh rechargeable battery also provides extra reading time for your Kindle, too.

Love it. M

LYNDA RAINO DANCE Victoria’s only dance centre

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MONDAY MAGAZINE AUGUST 16 - 22, 2012 mondaymag.com

[25]

MONDAY GUIDE EVENTS CALENDAR STAGE THURS. AUG. 16 BIG MAMA! - The Belfry Theatre presents Big Mama! The Willie Mae Thornton Story, which musically tells the story of the creator of such songs as Hound Dog and Ball & Chain. Nightly at 8pm until August 18. Matinees Aug. 18 at 4pm and Aug. 19 at 2pm.

MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING- The Greater Victoria Shakespeare Festival presents this classic comedy directed

by Ian Case. Opens Thursday and runs TUESDAYS, THURSDAYS and SATURDAYS from July 19- Aug. 18 at Camosun College Lnasdowne Campus. Tickets are $22/16 and are available at Ticketrocket.org, The Papery, Shepherd's Books, Ivy's Bookstore and Cadboro Bay Book Comapny. Shows at 7:30pm.

HENRY IV - Keep it Simple Theatre presents a Shakespearean classic.

Nightly until SATURDAY at 8pm at the Metro Studio (1411 Quadra). $17.50.

BEST OF VICTORIA COMEDY SPECIAL - With Johnny Bagpipes, Kristeen Von Hagen, Damonde Tschritter, Sean Proudlove, James Ball and more. 8pm at the Victoria Event Centre (1415 Broad). $20.

Bluebridgecomedyfestival.com.

GRAHAM CLARK - Three time Canadian Comedy Award nominee bring the laughs to the Fort Street Cafe (742 Fort). $10.

Bluebridgecomedyfestival.com.

FRI. AUG. 17 AS YOU LIKE IT- The Greater Victoria Shakespeare Festival presents this classic comedy directed by David MacPherson. Opens WEDNESDAY and runs WEDNESDAYS, FRIDAYS and MONDAYS from July 18- Aug. 17 at Camosun College Lnasdowne Campus. Tickets are $22/16 and are available at Ticketrocket.org, The Papery, Shepherd's Books, Ivy's Bookstore and Cadboro Bay Book Comapny. Shows at 7:30pm.

CLUB SALSA- Beginner salsa dance class at 8:30pm followed by live congas and DJ Ramesh at 9:30pm. Victoria Event Centre (1415 Broad). $10.

BLUE BRIDGE COMEDY FESTIVAL GALA EVENT- Stand up with Brent Butt, Marc Maron, Nikki Payne, Damonde Tschritter and Rob Pue. 8pm at the Archie Browning Sport Centre (1151 Esquimalt). $50 at rmts.bc.ca or 250-386-6121.

Email your listing info to calendar@mondaymag.com or enter it online at mondaymag.com

THE DARK AND DIRTY SHOWComedy on the edgier side headlined

by Rob Pue, hosted by Paul Myerhaug with spots by Nikki Payne and Sean Proudlove. 11pm at Hecklers (123 Gorge). $10.

SAT. AUG. 18 DEZY WALLS- Piano player, singersongwriter, musical playwright.

A showcase of some clever and comedic songs. 7:30pm at Intrepid Theatre Club (1621 Blanshard). $15.

MARC MARON- With 47 Conan O'Brien appearances, the host of the WTF podcast brings his edgy and political comedy to the Upstairs Cabaret (15 Bastion Square). . With Graham Clark and Damonde Tschritter. 8pm. $25.

Bluebridgecomedyfestival.com.

NIKKI PAYNE - Two time female comedian of the year brings her energy and sharp wit to Hecklers (123 Gorge). With Kristeen Von Hagen and Peter White. 8pm. $25.

Bluebridgecomedyfestival.com.

ROB PUE- Brings his trademark act outs, charm and wit to Lucky Bar (517 Yates). With Paul Myerhaug and Kevin Banner. 9pm. $15.

Bluebridgecomedyfestival.com.

AUG AND TSCHRID SHOW - Rock 'n' roll meets comedy for this live taping featuring Paul Myrehaug and Damonde Tschritter. 9pm at Hecklers (123 Gorge). $10.

ROMP! IN THE SQUARE- 15th annual free dance showcase featuring aerial dance performer Aeriosa and Kim Breiland (6-7pm), Fringe and Chinatown Night Market (7-9pm) and Rush of Water/Rush of Air (9-9:30pm) in Centennial Square.

MON. AUG. 20

FILM LISTINGS CONT'D

SUN. AUG. 19

SKETCH ED-UVic summer class in sketch comedy presenting "Cram Session," a series of short, humorous skits by student performers, writers and technicians. Proceeds to AIDS Vancouver Island. 7:30pm at Victoria Event Centre (1415 Broad). By donation.

TUES. AUG. 21 ROMP! IN THE SQUARE - 15th annual free dance showcase featuring aerial dance performer Aeriosa and Constance Cook (6-7pm), Fringe (7-9pm) and Rush of Water/Rush of Air (9-9:30pm) in Centennial Square.

FRINGE KICK OFF PARTY- Block party in Centennial Square with live bands, djs, fringe performers. 7pm. Free.

WEDS. AUG. 22 FRINGE PREVIEW - Free Fringe eve tradition gives a sneak peek at the comedy, drama, spoken word and physical theatre part of this year's Fringe. 7pm Centennial Square.

LEAVING THURS. ★★★½ MOONRISE KINGDOM -(Odeon) ★ THE WATCH -(Odeon/SilverCity/ Westshore) DIARY OF A WIMPY KID: DOG DAYS -(Capitol/SilverCity/Westshore/ Uni 4)

IMAX ★★★½ THE AMAZING SPIDER– MAN -(8 pm) ★★★★ BORN TO BE WILD -(10 am, 4 pm) DINOSAURS: GIANTS OF PATAGONIA -(11 am, 2 pm, 7 pm) Those "terrible lizards" come back to life in a feature that complements the fascinating dinosaur exhibit currently on at the RBCM. TO THE ARCTIC -(noon, 3 pm, 6 pm)

FIND THE M AND WIN A PRIZE FROM MONDAY MAGAZINE

Each week we hide an “M” on the cover.

Last week it was hidden on the button on the man’s jacket.

The winner was chosen by a random draw.

Prove that you’ve found the “M” and get it into our office to win!

Drawn Monday at noon. Submit entries to: 818 Broughton St., Victoria, V8W 1E4 with daytime phone number or fax it to our number at 250-386-2624.

Winner this week:

★★★½ ROCKY MOUNTAIN EXPRESS -(1 pm, 5 pm) Here's a patriotic account of the many daunting challenges behind building the CPR railway: part history lesson, part glorious travelogue.

CINECENTA

SCREENINGS

CROOKED ARROWS -(Wed.-Thurs., Aug. 15-16: 7:00, 9:00) Despite some amateurish touches, this tale of a wealthy aboriginal who reconnects with deeper values when he begins to coach his tribe's lacrosse team is definitely a crowd-pleaser.

SEEKING A FRIEND FOR THE END OF THE WORLD -(Fri.-Sat., Aug. 1718: 7:10, 9:15) Steve Carell and Keira Knightley are the stars of this unusual drama-comedy set in the last weeks before Earth is due to be destroyed by a massive comet. ★★★½ AI WEIWEI: NEVER SORRY -(Sun.-Sat., Aug. 19-25: 7:00, 9:00) Most famous as one of the creators of the Bird's Nest stadium for the Beijing Olympics, Ai Weiwei is an iconic artist whose provocative installations are at the intersection of art and activism. This documentary is a vivid portrait of the man, the artist, and the shit disturber who repeatedly risks jail to make China a more humane and democratic country.

See review.

Cinecenta at UVic screens its films in the Student Union Building. Info: 7218365. cinecenta.com.

MOVIE MONDAY - Screening Weibo's War. You won't be indifferent to this portrait of enviro-activist -- and possible terrorist -- Weibo Ludwig, the charismatic patriarch of a deeply religious clan in Alberta. When their livestock started dying and women started having miscarriages, Ludwig had good cause to blame the oil and gas industry. They ignored his complaints, and pipelines started exploding. By donation. 6:30pm MONDAY in the 1900-block Fort.

595FLIC. moviemonday.ca MAYFAIR MOVIES -Mayfair once again hosts its annual Summer Drivein Movie Series, which are projected onto a three-storey inflatable screen.

This week: Jaws, Steven Spielberg's unforgettable thriller about a killer shark terrorizing a tourist town (much like Victoria. . .). WEDNESDAY, 9:30 pm at the corner of Blanshard and Finlayson.

BEACON HILL B MOVIES -The Victoria Film Festival returns with their annual Free-B Film Fest in the Cameron Bandshell in Beacon Hill Park. This week: Beetlejuice, the Tim Burton classic about the battle between nasty ghosts and their haunted house's new human inhabitants. With Michael Keaton, Alec Baldwin and Geena Davis.

SATURDAY, 9 pm.

HIP HOP EH - A groundbreaking new documentary by Vancouver director Joe Klymkiw that investigates the complex history and rise of hip hop culture in Canada. Includes interviews with Maestro, Buck 65, Kardinall Offishall, Dream Warriors, Michie Mee, Cadence Weapon, Classified, Rascalz, Swollen Members, Shad and more. Screening SUNDAY Aug. 19 at the Vic Theatre at 7:30pm.

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MONDAY MAGAZINE AUGUST 16 - 22, 2012 mondaymag.com

FEATURE SPECIAL > FICTION: EXCERPTS FROM A NOVEL

Angel With A Bullet PART 1 OF 4: LOCAL AUTHOR M.C. GRANT'S NEW NOVEL BEING RELEASED ON SEPT. 8 Monday’s Editor-in-Chief, under the pen name M.C. Grant, will be releasing his latest mystery novel across ough a speNorth America and the UK on Sept. 8. Through ght Ink, and cial arrangement with his publishers, Midnight pecial sneak Monday Magazine, we are giving readers a special peek at the opening chapters over the next four weeks.

Grant will be signing copies of Angel With A Bullet at a special book launch at Chapters Victoria on Douglas St., njoy. on Sat., Sept. 8 at 2 p.m. Everyone is invited. Enjoy.

PROLOGUE BEFORE THE BLOOD, the raw canvas vas cost twenty dollars. With the squeeze of a trigger, the artist would make it priceless. Quite uite an achievement for a bronzed urchin who o first lable: spoke his heart on the only canvas available: cave walls, tree bark, the flaking curves ves of lls of abandoned cars and sun-bleached walls cursed and neglected huts.

In New Mexico, a sable brush was as foreign n as ntal indoor plumbing, reliable electricity or parental rules. His tools came from the earth: shards of mottled flint, stone edges as thin and sharp as any oal knife. His paint palette surrounded him: charcoal nd from communal fires; solid bands of red and ts yellow ochre from ravaged hills, the pigments crushed in the same manner as his ancestors, byy n brutal force; crumbling yellow-white sulfur in pockets near the natural hot springs where he once saw an alabaster angel, naked and laughing with ripe cherry nipples atop vanilla cream; and the color that dominated most of his work: the rich orange-brown rust that grew over everything as thick as despair.

Some days he became so carried away, scratching his marks deep into charred wood undred tiny or oxidized metal, he could ignore the pain. A hundred cuts caused blood to dribble from his fingers and fill the me the paint, grooves and swirls with living color. He became nature his canvas.

Nothing since had ever truly recaptured that level of intimacy.

The art was forgotten.

The artist lifted a Remington .12-gauge shotgun. He stroked the warm varnished stock and cold blue-black steel, the pure esthetic practicality of the thing. Hands trembling, he positioned the weapon — aptly named ‘thunder stick’, a foreboding tool of destruction.

It snaked between legs, phallicly unsettling, the weight of it resting on stomach and chest, its rubberized, slip-resistant butt firmly anchored to the floor.

The weapon’s terrifying black hole slid between soft, dry lips, teeth reluctantly parting as the barrel dug just a little deeper. The artist felt warm tears flowing down ruddy cheeks as he hooked a bare toe through the curved metal guard and settled it on the well-oiled trigger.

He took a deep, calming breath and whispered a final prayer to his neglectful creator.

The trigger squeezed so easily.

DIXIE SOME PEOPLE LIKE TO count sheep, I prefer ex-boyfriends. Bare-chested, tight boy shorts and strong thighs flexing at my command.

I usually have them leap over the bed. I enjoy the perspective. They tense muscles to my left, leap and fly over my prone form in a variety of ways, and land somewhere to my right.

I don’t watch the landings for I hate to see them strut. Few

men realize it’s not the finish that makes it worthwhile, but rather the anticipation and flight in-between.

Poor Andrew, a boy I met backpacking along the border between Germany and France, loved his beer. And when he leaps over my bed, his soft belly jiggles and his freckled skin glows. But he had the gentlest eyes and the softest touch.

Diego likes to show off. His body is athletic, bronzed and trim, but his eyes are anything but gentle. He needs to dominate, his inner flame bright and hot and ... captivating.

Perhaps we were too much alike.

Brian was a virgin in every way. He fell in love too easily at a time when love was not what I needed. It ended badly and he averts his gaze now when he soars.

Johnny was a hockey player and he grins with bloody teeth as he glides. He was all about speed and danger and taking everything to its limit. There were times I couldn’t get enough and times I felt fear.

Salvador . . .

Brrring.

The phone makes Salvador vanish in mid flight.

It rings again as I open my eyes.

DIXIE’S TIPS #1: When a phone rings in the middle of the night, it’s never good news.

Trust me. It’s not Ryan Gosling, Hugh Jackman or Joseph Gordon-Levitt (young, but yummy) making a late-night booty call and getting your number by mistake. If anything, it’s some married schmuck who thinks a few slurred overtures on how he can’t stop thinking about the dimples on your ass will get him through the door — again.

And if not the schmuck, it’s your mother calling about one of her seven sisters who tripped over a rug or slipped in

the bathtub an and “isn’t that terrible, just think it could have been me.”

But it wasn’t, Ma. “But it could just as easily and who would be here to find me? Why, I could be lying in m my own . . . .”

However, there are always exceptions to Dix Dixie’s tips. The main one being that if you’re Dix Dixie, you tend not to follow your own advice, no matter m how sage. Plus, if instead of getting som some badly needed beauty sleep you find yourself counting seven lads a leaping, almost any distra distraction is welcome.

Wh Which brings us to Dixie’s Tips #2: If you don’t have the self-control to follow Tip #1, unplug the damn thing before going to bed. Remember, it’s never good ne news.

I pic pick up on the fifth ring and use my huskiest phone-s phone-sex voice to say, “I can’t believe it’s not butter.”

Obvio Obviously I grew up as a latchkey kid with the TV as my ba babysitter because my other favorite commercial sloga slogans that, taken out of context, sound just plain dirty are: “Where’s the beef”, “Melts in your mouth, not in you your hands”, “It's Finger Lickin' Good” and my go-to line when people are pissing me off, “Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.”

Unfortun Unfortunately, the person on the other end of the line doesn’t share my fondness for advertising nostalgia.

Mostly that’s because she’s the one who allowed network broadcasters to brainwash her susceptible child.

“Do you k know what he’s doing?” the caller asks. “Right this minute?”

“Mom!” I exhale e noisily. “It’s polite to say hello before beginning a tirade.” tir She ignores me.

“He’s on a date. d At his age! And you’ll never guess who with.”

“With whom.” whom “Don’t corre correct me,” she snaps. “I’m your mother, not Jane Austen.”

“OK. With whom w is dearest papa out courting?”

“Thelma. She Sh must be in her 80s.”

“Thelma Carson?”

Ca I ask. “Your former best friend before the infamous pastrami p incident?”

“Thelma Carson Car Gonzales. She’s been married twice, you know?”

“I know. You attended both weddings. And you’re the same age, so she isn’t 80.”

She harrumphs. “Well, you don’t see me buying secondhand tits off the Internet, do you?”

To discover just what Dixie’s mom is talking about and what happens when Dixie begins to investigate the death of one of San Francisco’s most influential artists — tune in next week for Part 2.

From Angel with a Bullet: A Dixie Flynn Mystery by M. C. Grant. © 2012 by M. C. Grant. Used by permission from Midnight Ink Books, www.midnightinkbooks.com.

WIN A SIGNED COPY OF ANGEL WITH A BULLET To win a signed copy of Angel With A Bullet, answer the following trivia question in an email to promo@mondaymag.com before Noon on Friday, Aug. 17. Winner will be randomly selected.

Q. What does Dixie like to count before falling asleep?

And be sure to visit Grant at his book launch on Sat., Sept. 8 at 2 p.m. at Chapters Victoria.

MONDAY MAGAZINE AUGUST 16 - 22, 2012 mondaymag.com

[27]

To place an ad, call 250-382-6189, online at bcclassified.com, or email classad@mondaymag.com

CLASSIFIEDS COMMUNITY ANNOUNCEMENTS

COMMUNITY ANNOUNCEMENTS

COMING EVENTS

HEY YOU!

CALL FOR ENTRIES 10TH ANNUAL Kitty Coleman Woodland Artisan Festival.

Fine Art and Quality Crafts Juried Show.

Presented in a spectacular outdoor setting Sept 1,2 &3 Applications for Artisans are available at woodlandgardens.ca or phone 250-339-6901 COME AND enjoy an afternoon of fun and games at Beckwith park, North Quadra, on Saturday August 25th from 2 to 5. There will be bocce and watermelon pit spitting competitions and carnival style games for the kids. Snacks and baked goods will be available for sale. All proceeds will go to Arbutus Singers’ Choir Kids, after school music education programs (BN832 206 924RR001).

Questions? Contact Julie at cjuliec@telus.net

HELP WANTED

VOLUNTEERS

FUEL/FIREWOOD

T-MAR INDUSTRIES located in Campbell River is hiring for the position of Heavy Duty Mechanic. Position comes with a competitive benefit package and applicant must possess a valid driver’s license. For details visit www.t-mar.com Contact Tyson Lambert by Fax: 250-286-9502 or by Email: tysonlambert@tmar.com

EARLY MUSIC Society of the Islands needs a volunteer to research CDs to purchase from a distributor, have them shipped and then deliver them for sale at concerts. Schedule is flexible and requires one hour maximum per month. Call Volunteer Victoria at 250-3862269.

SEASONED FIREWOOD Vancouver Island’s largest firewood producer offers firewood legally obtained during forest restoration, large cords. Help restore your forest, Burndrywood.com 1-877-902-WOOD.

SHOP SUPERVISOR

PUBLIC SCHOOL PARENTS All public school programs and all necessary learning supplies & equipment leading to graduation are LEGALLY FREE OF CHARGE

NAILS BY Laurie is back! At Rachel D’s. 2012 Douglas St. Acrylic nails & manicures.

(250)889-0537.

YOU PISSED ME OFF

Selkirk Paving, part of the Interoute Construction Ltd. group of companies, located in the Kootenay region of British Columbia, is looking for a F/T Shop Supervisor to manage a fleet of over 300 pieces of construction equipment. Some travel will be required.

Duties / Tasks; ·Manage shop activities ·Dispatch mechanics ·Maintain maintenance records ·Manage fleet licences ·Help purchaser w/ parts orders Knowledge / Skills; ·Knowledge of asphalt, crushing, and ready mix equipment would be an asset ·Able to create repair budgets ·Familiar with safety codes / regulations ·Fluent with Microsoft Word and Excel

IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS!

DON’T PAY SCHOOL FEES. DON’T BUY SCHOOL SUPPLIES. Contact: BC Advocacy Institute johnayoung@ telus.net

Experience/Education; ·Post secondary education with Heavy Duty Mechanic training Competitive Compensation Package w/ a Comprehensive Benefit & Pension Plan. The Company Offers Development Opportunities Through Tailored Training Programs.

PERSONALS

For more information visit www.terusconstruction.ca Please send your resume stating position to the Human Resources department at: hr@terusconstruction.ca or by fax at: (1)604-575-3691

HOW TO REPLY: For written responses, please send $3.00 and envelope addressed to: Box #_ _ _ C/O Monday Magazine 818 Broughton St., Victoria, BC, V8W 1E4. Voice Personals members can also reply by phone at 250-383-6111.

MEET SINGLES right now! No paid operators, just real people like you. Browse greetings, exchange messages and connect live. Try it free. Call now 1-888-744-3699.

WANTED: AN intelligent, interesting Senior lady for concerts, entertainment, adventure and travel with an intelligent, interesting and handsome gentleman. Reply to Monday Magazine, Box #651, Victoria, B.C., V8W 1E4.

SINGLES CLUBS

HELP WANTED LOST AND FOUND STOLEN: BRODIE HELLION AND SIMS OATH BMX BIKES. Locks cut and taken from home in Colwood. Brodie Hellion is silver/grey with spray painted red maple leaf, five years old, much loved and used for transportation to work. Sims is black with purple rims and black pegs, brand new. Please call Westshore RCMP 250-474-2264 file #2012-10190.

Cash reward, 250-514-4142.

TRAVEL TIMESHARE CANCEL YOUR Timeshare.

NO Risk Program, STOP Mortgage & Maintenance Payments Today. 100% Money Back Guarantee. FREE Consultation. Call Us NOW. We Can Help! 1-888-356-5248.

An Alberta Construction Company is hiring Dozer and Excavator Operators. Preference will be given to operators that are experienced in oilfield road and lease construction. Lodging and meals provided. The work is in the vicinity of Edson, Alberta. Alcohol & Drug testing required. Call Contour Construction at 780-723-5051.

FULL TIME Class 1 or 3 driver, with air, required immediately for Port Hardy. Bulk fuel/off road exp. an asset.

Clean abstract. Competitive wage package w/benefits.

Email/fax resume to: 250-9496381. port_hardy_agency@telus.net.

PARTS & Services Representatives at Jacobson Ford Salmon Arm BC- We are looking for exciting, customer friendly, dynamic individuals capable of working in a fast paced work environment. Parts and service experience an asset but not necessary, email resume to iwantacareer@jacobsonford.com

CAREER OPPORTUNITIES SHOP Welders Wanted Fort St. John, BC. Email resumes to info@hitimeservices.com Fax resumes to 1-888-731-8027. Competitive Wages & Benefits. Check us out @ www.hitimeservices.com

[28]

HOUSES FOR SALE

CAREER OPPORTUNITIES

CRESCENT VALLEY

IMPORTANT NOTICE

REAL ESTATE

IF YOU’RE interested in real estate, then take Appraisal and Assessment, a specialized two-year business major at Lakeland College’s campus in Lloydminster, Alberta. Your training includes assessment principles, computerized mass appraisal valuation of properties, farmland evaluation and property analysis.

Start September; www.lakelandcollege.ca.

1-800-661-6490, ext. 5429.

MEDICAL TRANSCRIPTION rated #2 for at-home jobs.

Start training today. Graduates are in demand! Enroll now.

Take advantage of low monthly payments. 1-800-466-1535 www.canscribe.com admissions@canscribe.com.

INFORMATION

MERCHANDISE FOR SALE

Required for an Alberta Trucking Company. One Class 1 Driver. Must have a minimum of 5 years experience pulling low boys and driving off road.

Candidate must be able to pass a drug test and be willing to relocate to Edson, Alberta.

Fax resumes to: 780-725-4430

MONDAY MAGAZINE AUGUST 16 - 22, 2012 mondaymag.com

TRADES, TECHNICAL AUTOMATED TANK Manufacturing INC. is looking for welders. Due to a huge expansion to our plant located in Kitscoty, Alberta, 20km west of Lloydminster. We have openings for 10-3rd year apprentices or journey person welders.

We offer best wage in industry. 3rd yr apprentice $28$30/hr, journey person $32$35/hr, higher with tank experience. Profit sharing bonus plus manufacturing bonus incentive. Full insurance package 100% paid by company.

Good working environment.

Join a winning team. Call Basil or Blaine at; (office)780-8462231; (fax)780-846-2241 or send resume to blaine@autotanks.ca; p r o d u c t i o n @ a u t o t a n k s. c a .

Keep your feet on the ground in a safe welding environment through inhole manufacturing process. No scaffolding or elevated work platform.

CERTIFIED ELECTRICIANS wanted for growing northern company. Competitive wages and benefits. Safety tickets needed. Fax 250-775-6227 or email: info@torqueindustr ial.com.

Apply online: www.torqueindustrial.com.

CERTIFIED MILLWRIGHTS needed for growing northern company. Competitive wages and benefits. Safety tickets necessary. Fax resume to 250-775-6227 or email: info@torqueindustr ial.com.

Online: www.torqueindustrial.com.

CONCRETE FINISHERS and Form Setters.

Edmonton based company seeks experienced concrete finishers and form setters for work in Edmonton and northern Alberta.

Subsistence and accommodations provided for out of town work; john@raidersconcrete.com.

Cell 780-660-8130.

Fax 780-444-7103.

INSERTING MACHINE operator required for busy Alberta printing plant. Previous Alphaliner or other machine experience an asset. Mechanical & computer aptitude required; ejamison@greatwest.ca.

SHINGLE SAWYER needed in Gold River. Pendragon Forest Products Ltd. Apply to: Box 1100 Gold River B.C., V0P 1G0. Call 250-283-2111 or 604-369-3045. Or Email: pendragonfp@xplornet.com

VOLUNTEERS AIDS VANCOUVER Island is looking for board members with passion! Help with setting policies, advancing the strategic plan and acting as an ambassador. People from diverse backgrounds are encouraged to apply. Commitment is 1-2 years. Call Volunteer Victoria at 250-386-2269.

BRIDGES FOR Women Society seeks board members from diverse educational and professional backgrounds.

Commitment includes monthly meetings; two-year term preferred. Training is provided for this valuable community role.

Call Volunteer Victoria at 250386-2269.

PERSONAL SERVICES HEALTH PRODUCTS COMMERCIAL BEEKEEPING Certificate Program.

GPRC Fairview Campus. Extensive study of beekeeping, queen rearing, and honey business. Paid work experience.

Affordable on-campus residences. Starts January 7, 2013. Call Lin 1-780-8356630 www.gprc.ab.ca/fairview.

SLIM DOWN for summer!

Lose up to 20 lbs in just 8 weeks. Call Herbal Magic today! 1-800-854-5176.

FINANCIAL SERVICES

MISCELLANEOUS FOR SALE ARIAT TALL BOOTS. Leather upper, woman’s size 7.5, regular calf, medium height. Worn once, excellent condition, still need breaking in. Originally $400, asking $250 obo. 250391-5992, leave message.

HOT TUB (SPA) COVERS. Best price. Best quality. All shapes & colours available.

1-866-652-6837 www.thecoverguy.com/newspaper?

REAL ESTATE HOMES WANTED

WE BUY HOUSES Damaged House?

Pretty House? Moving?

Divorcing? Estate Sale?

We will Buy your House Quick Cash & Private.

Mortgage Too High and House won’t sell?

Can’t make payments?

We will Lease Your House, Make your Payments and Buy it Later!

Call: 1-250-616-9053 www.webuyhomesbc.com DROWNING IN debts? Helping Canadians 25 years. Lower payments by 30%, or cut debts 70% thru Settlements.

Avoid bankruptcy! Free consultation. www.mydebtsolution.com or Toll Free 1 877-556-3500.

GET BACK ON TRACK! Bad credit? Bills? Unemployed?

Need Money? We Lend! If you own your own home - you qualify. Pioneer Acceptance Corp. Member BBB. 1-877987-1420. www.pioneerwest.com

mind, body, spirit 250-388-3535

IF YOU own a home or real estate, Alpine Credits can lend you money: It’s That Simple.

Your Credit / Age / Income is not an issue. 1.800.587.2161.

MASSAGE

M O N E Y P ROV I D E R . C O M $500 Loan and +. No Credit Refused. Fast, Easy, 100% Secure. 1-877-776-1660.

Certified Aromatherapist “Simply the Best!”

14 yrs in Practice JANALEE

Bodywork & Counselling

250-380-5190

Certified Practitioner

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Restore Balance, Ease & Grace ( women only )

Rae Bilash

~Non-Sexual~

250-380-8733 www.raebilash.ca

CRIMINAL RECORD? Don’t let it block employment, travel, education, professional, certification, adoption property rental opportunities. For peace of mind & a free consultation call 1-800-347-2540.

ROSE’S THAI & OIL MASSAGE

SHOW UP FOR YOURSELF

NON-SEXUAL

www.smithcounselling.ca

MERCHANDISE FOR SALE

250-891-6255

250-885-1610

ANTIQUES/VINTAGE

INTERLUDE MASSAGE

T.L.C. Massage

Kripalu Swedish or chair massage Find your bliss....

Andrea

& Wellness

LEGAL SERVICES

Flexibility, energy, balance, good for blood circulation

250-514-6223

Money worries? Stress?

Relationship Concerns?

Call Caron today

Conscious Touch & Relaxation Massage Your time to Rejuvenate Susanne Certified Practitioner

www.andreakober.com Please call for rates and appointment time

250-888-1244

for women only, men by referral

(Clear Unscented Oils)

ALL YOU NEED IN PRINT AND ONLINE bcclassified.com

HOROSCOPE >

AUGUST 19 - 25, 2012

Now it’s time to pull our act together

A

ll Signs: This week the Sun moves from Leo into Virgo, which ushers in a subtle change for everyone. For the past month, we’ve had a strong emphasis on sports, party- GEORGIA ing, seeing movies NICOLS and enjoying fun times with children.

Now it’s time to pull our act together, especially for those of us writing cheques our bodies can’t cash. Everyone will become diet-conscious and aware of eating healthier and perhaps losing some weight. (I had to let out another pleat in the shower curtain.) With September on the horizon, we all want to get better organized! (It’s that back-toschool feeling.) Fortunately, this self-improvement kick is a good thing because we don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are!

ARIES MARCH 21-APRIL 19 You’re thinking about how to get healthier. (Actually, millions will be doing this because Virgo rules the intestines and this week the Sun moves into Virgo.) Naturally, we all feel an increased focus on dietary needs and eating habits in the month ahead. Virgo also loves the peace of mind that comes from organizational systems. “I always keep my keys/ passport/Scotch tape/scissors/ favourite lubricant/(fill in the blank) in the same place.” Not only will physical efficiency and health be an increasing focus, you will refine your technique or approach to work because you’re suddenly keen to work hard to get things done. And you want results! Yesterday!

(Typically Aries.)

TAURUS APRIL 20-MAY 20 Even though millions have partied their faces off in the past six weeks, you’re just gearing up for a month of pleasure, flirtation, entertaining diversions, romance, vacations and fun with children and sports. The bottom line is you want to be free to do your own thing. Great! How timely, because the stars will now make you feel lighter, happier and more fun-loving. (Can you click your heels like Gene Kelly?)

Actually, not only will you have more fun just being yourself, you’ll encounter opportunities to become more aware of who you really are. (My gawd, I’ve just discovered my middle name is Smarticus, not Uptitus!)

GEMINI MAY 21-JUNE 20 IIt’s time for a warm feeling in your tummy because your focus now turns to home, family and your personal world. Family reunions, class reunions and increased time spent with relatives and family members will occur for the next six weeks. In fact, because you’ll be remember-

ing childhood and family memories, this is an excellent time for some soulsearching and self-evaluation. Yes, we are a product of our backgrounds, but no, we don’t have to keep playing those tapes! Too often as adults we keep responding to others like we did when we were kids.

Naturally, these behaviour patterns are no longer appropriate! (Don’t take your soother to the office.)

CANCER JUNE 21-JULY 22 Fasten your seatbelts because the tempo of your days is accelerating! Suddenly, you’ve got places to go, things to do and people to see. Not only will your schedule get busier in the month ahead, your mind will be racing as well.

Many of you will read and study more than usual, plus take short trips, run errands and talk to many people. It’s true that all of us have only 24 hours in each day. (In that respect, we’re all created equal, whether you’re a street person or Bill Gates.)

But you are going to try to jam more activity into your 24 hours than ever before for the next five-tosix weeks. Travel for pleasure and enjoy your world!

LEO JULY 23-AUG 22 When the Sun was in Leo, many of you went overboard having fun throwing cash around in a cavalier way. (“Fresh horses and whiskey for my men!”) Lottsa pleasure but costly! That’s why during the next month you’ll be focused on cash flow, earnings and figuring out where your money goes.

First you have to know just how much is coming in, right? They say information is power. So if you can see very clearly how much is coming in and where it’s going out, you’ll get a better picture of your situation. Although you can be a generous spendthrift, you can also save big amounts of money in a short time when you’re motivated to do so. Leos rock!

VIRGO AUG 23-SEPT 22 Well, for the first time in11 months, the Sun is back in your sign boosting your energy, giving you a chance to recharge your batteries for the rest of the year.

This is why you will easily attract people and favourable situations to you in the month ahead. Since this only happens once a year, make the most of it. Milk it for all it’s worth! You’re a strong communicator now (this continues for the next six weeks), which benefits those of you who sell, market, teach, write or promote anything for a living. It’s also a strong time for those of you who drive for a living. Meanwhile, fair Venus continues to attract creative, artistic people to you. Go do that voodoo that you do so well.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22) For the next six weeks, the Sun is hiding in your chart, which means this is a good time for you to hide as well. And while you’re hiding or working behind the scenes, it’s the perfect time to plan what you want your new personal year (birthday to birthday) to be all about. If you’re specific about your goals, including deadlines, the chances of achieving those goals are much higher than if you don’t make any goals and instead live willy-nilly with management-by-crisis. A simple but obvious example is when you have to go to work and arrive there by a certain time. You just do it. But part of why you do it is because you know what you’re going to do and when. Something to ponder, eh Ziggy?

SCORPIO OCT 23-NOV 21 All Scorpios will notice their popularity rising in the next six weeks. Your dance card is full and everyone wants to see your face! Groups, clubs and organizations as well as friendships will make demands on your time.

Fortunately, this week, Mars enters your sign boosting your energy and helping you keep up this mad social pace. Travel for pleasure beckons and new, blossoming romance with someone from a different culture or another country is a possibility. The month ahead is the perfect time to define your dreams for the future.

After all, the future is unchartered territory so you need a map to get where you want to go.

SAGITTARIUS NOV 22-DEC 21 The Sun is now at top of your chart acting like a spotlight on you for the next six weeks. And hey, because this lighting is flattering, bosses notice you more and offers will come your way.

Accept them because you’ll easily pull off whatever others expect. Discussions with parents and bosses will be significant. Romance will be passionate and affectionate. In fact, gifts, goodies and favours from others will come your way, so keep your pockets open. This is also the best time of year to think about the direction your life is headed. Are you happy with this?

Do you know where you want to be five years from now?

CAPRICORN DEC 22-JAN 19 You want to get away from it all! Travel somewhere in the next six weeks or book a vacation for the future so you feel happier and have something to look forward to. Basically, you want more adventure in your world!

You’re eager to learn some-

thing new because you want more out of life. People from other cultures and different countries will intrigue you. Romantic relationships are warm. In addition to which, group activities are abundantly physical (looks like team sports and gym classes for many of you). This is a great time to sign up for courses to improve job skills, career choices or enhance your appreciation of life. You intend to go places and be somebody!

AQUARIUS JAN 20-FEB 18 In the next six weeks, you will feel more passionate than usual.

Obviously, intimate relationships will be hot. (You devil.) But your passion will also extend beyond the bedroom. You’ll feel passionate talking to everyone about anything! Mars is high in your chart now arousing your ambition and Mercury is opposite your sign encouraging intense conversations with others. You’ve got big plans and big ideas that you want to bounce off others to get their feedback. Work-related romance is highly likely. Some will tackle loose details about inheritances, wills, insurance matters and shared property. (Boring but unavoidable.)

PISCES FEB 19-MARCH 20 This week the Sun moves opposite your sign, which is as far away from you as it gets all year.

Because the Sun is your source of energy, this means you’ll need more sleep. Respect this need because when you’re tired, you fall into victim mode. This Virgo Sun also focuses your mind on partnerships and close friendships, which is why the month ahead is the perfect time to form working units with others. It’s also a good time to analyze your style in relationships. For example, things have to be a twoway street, right? You have to be as good for your partner as he or she is for you and vice versa. (Don’t settle for less.) This is a good time to consult experts to help solve problems. Happily, romance, love affairs and creative tasks are blessed.

CHECK US OUT AT

http://www. facebook.com/ pages/ mondaymagazine

t s e t n o C o t Pho

Categories: Nature: From serene landscapes to idyllic gardens.

Urban: The grit that often goes unnoticed.

Animal: From wild to domestic — what makes you smile.

Photoshop Creative: When normal isn't good enough — computer manipulation allowed.

People - Non-staged: The human form in and out of his/her environment.

People - Staged: Fashion, makeup, hair — the human body is always appealing.

Prism Choice Award: Sponsored by Prism Photo Imaging.

Enter 's 's 12th Annual

Photo Contest Victoria's longest-running photo competition.

All entries displayed at the Cedar Hill Recreation Centre Arts Centre, from Sept. 26 to Oct. 6.

Submission Deadline: Friday, August 31, 2012

For Guidelines go to http://mondaymag.com/contests/ Sponsors:

COMMUNITY ARTS COUNCIL OF GREATER VICTORIA

MONDAY MAGAZINE IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY DAMAGED OR LOST PHOTOS. WE RESERVE THE RIGHT TO REASSIGN CATEGORIES. This contest is limited to amateur photographers. EMPLOYEES OF BLACK PRESS ARE NOT ELIGIBLE. Entries will be judged by an independent panel.

MONDAY MAGAZINE AUGUST 16 - 22, 2012 mondaymag.com

[29]

REAL ESTATE

TRANSPORTATION

FOR SALE BY OWNER

AUTO FINANCING

CAYCUSE Very rare 5 acre treed park-like Property with well-maintained furnished home - 1500 sq.ft, 3-bdrm, 2 bath. Extremely close to Pristine Cowichan Lake.

Perfect for recreational property or full time living.

Reduced to sell $378,800.

Exceptionally low yearly cost. Not leased land.

Call 250-745-3387 or 250-478-2648

MONDAY GUIDE

DreamCatcher Auto Loans “0” Down, Bankruptcy OK Cash Back ! 15 min Approvals

1-800-910-6402

2007 CUSTOM Chev HHR. Excellent condition. Loaded.

White. 119,000 km, mostly hwy driven. On-Star. $11,900 firm. 250-755-5191.

SPORT UTILITY VEHICLES

WESTSHORE 3 BDRMS, 2 bath. We pay the Buyer’s Agent 3+1.5. 671 Daymeer Pl. (250)884-3862. Complete details/ more pics at: www.propertyguys.com ID# 192309

RENTALS

GRANT MANOR, APARMENTS 6921 Grant Rd. Sooke Bachelor and 1 bdrm. apts.

Some newly renovated For further information and to view call

✓ EVENTS

www.PreApproval.cc DL# 7557 WANT A vehicle but stressed about your credit? Christmas in August $500 cash back. We fund your future not your past.

All credit situations accepted. www.creditdrivers.ca 1-888593-6095.

CARS

APARTMENT/CONDO

EVENTS CALENDAR

2004 VW TOUAREG. Only 135,000 km, economical, spirited V6 engine, all wheel drive and tow hitch with electric brakes. Unique 6 speed Tiptronic auto transmission. Well equipped interior, rear mounted CD changer. Beautiful, well maintained. $14,900 obo, 250658-1123 mjmarshall@telus.net

THURS. AUG 16 MAGNIFICENT MAMMALS - Join the staff at Swan Lake to celebrate our cousins through hands-on discovery, music, games, facepainting and crafts. Some real, live mammals may drop in, too. Noon-3pm at Swan Lake Nature Sanctuary (3873 Swan Lake). By donation, crafts $3.

250-479-0211, swanlake.bc.ca.

FRI. AUG. 17 ISLAND VIEW EDIBLES - Enjoy the bounty of the sea and land with CRD Regional Park guest naturalists and First Nations guides. Sample herbal teas and local seaweeds.

Guided walks at 10:15am, 11:15am and 12:15pm. Meet at white tent near the Island View campground, on Homathko, off Island View. 10am-1pm at Island View Beach Regional Park (Central Saanich). Free. 250-478-3344.

CREATURES OF THE SUMMER NIGHT - Check out the nightlife a Swan Lake! Sharpen your night senses with owl prowling and raccoon trailing. Using a grab bag of tricks, discover how these animals are adapted to their nocturnal life. 6+.

Pre-registration required. 7:30-9:30pm at Swan Lake Nature Sanctuary (3873 Swan Lake). $6. 250-479-0211.

MARINE

250-642-1900

CHECK US OUT ON FACEBOOK

BOATS

SHARED ACCOMMODATION CEDAR HILL, female seeking roommate, 2 bdrm, clean, $480 mo + utils. 250-686-0603

facebook.com/ MondayMagazine dayMagazine

LOOKING FOR THAT PERFECT ROOMMATE?

Let us find that person for you.

Place ad in Monday for as low as $18.50 per week.

Call 250-480-3201 SUITES, LOWER BACHELOR SUITE available immediately, hydro, wireless internet and cable included. $500 per month. Located at 1400 Alberni Hwy, Parksville.

250-954-9547

ALL YOU NEED IN PRINT AND ONLINE bcclassified.com

Personals or Variations

Email your listing info to calendar@mondaymag.com or enter it online at mondaymag.com

STAR PARTY - Head out to Metchosin for the annual RASCals Star Party, presented by the Victoria Centre of the Royal Astronomical Society of Canada. Join local amateur astronomers as they observe the stars, planets and other objects in the sky. Guest speakers, telescope walks and more. FRIDAY & SATURDAY 8:30pm-sunrise at the cricket field and municipal grounds in Metchosin (4450 Happy Valley). Free. 250-818-4820, victoria.rasc.ca/events/StarParty.

SAT. AUG. 18 MORNING MIST CANOE ADVENTURE - Paddle through early morning mist searching for eagles, herons, turtles and other lake life with CRD Regional Parks’ naturalists.

Canoe equipment and instruction provided, no experience required.

19+. 8-11am at Elk/Beaver Lake Regional Park (Saanich). Pre-register: $20+HST, per paddler/$10+HST non-paddlers. 250-478-3344, crd. bc.ca/parks.

SUN. AUG. 19 FIBRATIONS - Join the communitybased celebration of all things fibre – whether it be knitting, weaving, felting, crocheting, spinning. The event will feature artists sharing their knowledge and enthusiasm for their craft through demonstrations, handson-activities and a market selling locally made fibre creations. 10am4pm at St. Ann's Academy Orchard (835 Humboldt). Free. Fibrations.ca.

MULTICULTURAL FOOD FAIR Tantalize taste buds as multicultural food vendors sell the best of their cuisine at Cook Street Village Cente's annual Multicultural Food Fair. Along whit food from around the world there will be various multicultural performes provided by the Multicultural Association og Greater Victoria. 11am-3pm at Cook Street Village (380 Cook). Free. 250-384-6542.

IVY PULL - Join Friends of Brighton Avenue Walkway volunteers in a new community effort to remove invasive species and encourage native plants.

Get exercise and meet new friends at the same time. Second and fourth SUNDAYS 9-11am at the walkway between St. David Street and Transit Avenue (Oak Bay). Free. 250-475-4412.

SUMMER SALTY SUNDAYS Explore the Maritime Museum's Salty Sundays, every second Sunday of the month. Enjoy crafts, activities, programming and tours.

1pm at the Maritime Museum (28 Bastion Square). $12, programming is included with admission, two kids free with each paying adult. 250-385-4222, mmbc.bc.ca.

TEA LEAF READINGS - See into your cup and have your tea leaves read by Ellena. SUNDAYS 2-4pm at James Bay Coffee and Books (143 Menzies). 250-386-4700, jamesbaycoffeeandbooks.com.

BOARD GAMES NIGHT - Scrabble and more. SUNDAYS 5:30pm at the Superior (106 Superior). Free. 250380-9515.

MON. AUG. 20 CHESS NIGHT - Bring your own game, or use one of ours. Bring a friend, or come on your own.

MONDAYS 6-8:30pm at James Bay Coffee and Books (143 Menzies). Free.

250 386-4700.

FREE TO LISTEN 24HRS

250-383-6111 over 730 local members

TUES. AUG. 21 MEN SEEKING WOMEN

MEN SEEKING WOMEN

HOW TO REPLY:

SWM, 64, enjoys concerts, theater, art and life. Looking for female (53-65yrs) with similar interests for friendship and maybe more. Reply to Box #3434 C/O Monday Magazine, 818 Broughton St., Victoria, BC, V8W 1E4 or call 250-383-6111

For written responses, please send $3.00 and envelope addressed to: Box #_ _ _ C/O Monday Magazine 818 Broughton St., Victoria, BC, V8W 1E4. Voice Personals members can also reply by phone at 250-383-6111.

MEN SEEKING WOMEN

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Call

250-388-3535

How It Works First Menu •1 •2 •5 •6 •7 •9 •0

Go directly to a specific box To browse voice introductions To sign up for free access code To purchase response time FAQs Go to your mailbox menu Leave a message for Personal staff

Memberships are non-transferable. Sorry, no refunds Mail or deliver written responses to: ( $3 / Letter )

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To check your messages Record your introduction Turn on/off your Direct Connect To change your Direct Connect phone Check your membership status How to use direct connect To exit this menu & return to first menu

Monday Personals customer service

250-480-3201 M-F 8:30-5:00

MYSTERY CREATURE (GUIDED WALK) - With the help of a CRD Regional Parks’ naturalist, solve riddles to find clues hidden along the trail. Piece the puzzle together to discover who the mystery creature is. Meet at the information kiosk in the parking lot off Inverness Road, off Ardmore Drive. 10-11:30am at Coles Bay Regional Park (North Saanich).

Free. 250-478-3344, crd.bc.ca/parks.

MARKETS

Your Mailbox Menu

•1 •2 •3 •4 •5 •6 •0

SCRABBLE NIGHT - Bring a board game and a friend, or play on the in-house boards and find an opponent there. TUESDAYS 6:30-9pm at James Bay Coffee & Books. Free.

250-386-4700.

WED. AUG. 22

Classifieds Hit * to go directly to your mailbox/menu Hit 3 to skip any messages

SHIP POINT NIGHT MARKET Come out for an evening and see the different mix of arts, entertainment, and crafts offered each weekend.

FRIDAYS & SATURDAYS 7-10pm at Ship Point (Inner Harbour). Free. gvha. v3.ca/f_licensee.php.

JAMES BAY MARKET - Live music, food, farmers, artisans and service providers offer quality handmade, homemade and homegrown products.

SATURDAYS 9am-3pm at 332 Menzies. Free. jamesbaymarket.com.

METCHOSIN FARMERS' MARKET - Farm fresh goodies and locally grown offerings to please every taste. through October. SUNDAYS 11am-2pm at Metchosin Municipal Grounds (4450 Happy Valley). Free. metchosinfarmersmarket@gmail.com.

VICTORIA DOWNTOWN PUBLIC MARKET - Visit Victoria's one-stop shop for all of your local grocery and farmers market needs. WEDNESDAYS noon-5pm until October at Market Square (Inner Courtyard). Free. victoriapublicmarket.com.

BASTION SQUARE PUBLIC MARKET - Check out the eclectic mix of arts, crafts, imports and entertainment, along with locally grown produce and fruits; homemade breads, pastries. THURSDAYSSATURDAYS 11am-5:30pm, SUNDAYS 11am-4:30pm at Bastion Square and Langley. Free. 250-885-1387.

WORDS THURS. AUG. 16 BOOK SIGNING - Help launch of Tricia Dower’s Stony River, a novel about growing up, finding your voice and forgiving your family. 7:30-9:30pm at the Solstice Café (529 Pandora).

Free. Tricia@triciadower.com.

FRI. AUG. 17 DROP-IN MATH - Learn the basics through high school, along with English/editing help through at Camas Book's FreeSkool. FRIDAYS Noon1:30pm at Camas Books and Infoshop at (2590 Quadra). Free. 250-381-0585.

SAT. AUG. 18 FRAMING THE GARDEN: TEA & POETRY WITH LINDA ROGERS - Treat yourself to an afternoon of poetry, tea and fanciful hats!

Celebrating Framing the Garden: Reflections of Victoria, a new book of poetry, prose and art compiled by Linda Rogers in honour of Victoria’s 150th year. Don that special hat and hear some of Victoria’s greatest poets: MAC Farrant, Barbara Colebrook Peace, Carol Ann Sokoloff and Richard Olafson. 2-3pm at Saanich Centennial Library (3110 Tillicum). Free. 250-382-7241 ext. 369.

BOOK SIGNING - See Sharon Hanna, author of The Book of Kale: The Easy-to-Grow Superfood. 2-3pm at Munro’s Books (1108 Government).

Free. 250-382-2464.

WILL YOU GO DOWN ON ME? - A group discussion intended to help empower your sexy self." Through Camas Book's FreeSkool. 6:30pm at Camas Books and Infoshop at (2590 Quadra). Free. 250-381-0585.

WED. AUG. 22 PHILOSOPHERS' CAFE - Discuss issues fundamental to human existence. No formal philosophy training required; real life experience desired. Moderated by Daniel Keeran, dedicated to supporting the diversity of views through the use of reflective listening. Meeting second and fourth WEDNESDAYS every month at new location. 7-8:30pm at The Well (821 Fort). Free. collegemhc@gmail.com.

OPEN MIC - Poetry night.

WEDNESDAYS 7-9pm at The Well (821 Fort). Free. 250-590-4995.

GALLERIES THURS. AUG. 16 ART GALLERY OF GREATER VICTORIA - Powertrains and Peacocks by Clint Neufeld at LAB Gallery. Opening reception 7:309:30pm at 1040 Moss.

LITTLE FERNWOOD GALLERY Peter's Portraits, diverse works by Peter Goodman. To Sept. 4 at 1923 Fernwood.

FRI. AUG. 17 WEST END GALLERY - New glass sculptures by Saltspring Island glass artist Robert Leatherbarrow. To Aug. 23 at 1203 Broad.

SAT. AUG. 18 VIEW ART GALLERY - Annual Summer Salon featuring new work by Amy Rice, Lara Scarr, Ronan Boyle, Yuri Arajs, Luke Garrison, Cheryl Taves and Michael Pittman. To Sept.

29 at 104-860 View.

CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS ARTLANDIA - Calling all artists interested in submitting work for Artlandia Art Festival, part of the 2012 Rifflandia, Aug. 24-Sept. 22. Two spots available, and those selected receive a wristband and $100. DEADLINE Aug. 15. Email info@artlandia.ca, and visit facebook.com/artlandiafestival.

COMMUNITY SUPPORT GROUP - Support group for phobias, generalized anxiety, panic attacks and OCD. With Dr. Tom Lipinski, registered psychologist.

THURSDAYS 7pm at the Bridge Centre (125 Skinner). Free. 250-3891211.

LIFERING - Addiction support program. THURSDAYS 7:30pm at Victoria Native Friendship Center (231 Regina). FRIDAYS 6:30pm at Pearkes Rec Centre (3100 Tillicum). TUESDAYS 7:30pm at the Esquimalt Rec Centre (527 Fraser). 250-920-2095, michael@ LifeRingCanada.org.

SIPCCENTRE - Counsellor-led support group for mature women ready to re-explore their sexual orientation. $8/session. FRIDAYS 5-6:45pm at James Bay New Horizons.

KIWANIS HOUSE PROGRAM LifeRing support group for young mothers dealing with addiction.

Free onsite childminding available for young mothers participating in the program. TUESDAYS 6pm at 2652 Cook. Child minding at 5:30pm.

Calling in advance is appreciated.

250-382-1004.

ALT LOVERS - Sagacity Alternative Lifestyle Society is where awesome folks who enjoy BDSM, alternative lifestyles, kink and fetish gather to talk, laugh, socialize, share and learn.

TUESDAYS 7:30pm at the Ledge, Bedford Regency (1140 Government).

Free. sagacitygroup.net.

QUEER YOUTH DROP-IN - South Island Pride Community Centre welcomes queer youth, friends, allies and youth from queer families.

MONDAYS 6-8pm at Esquimalt Youth Centre (530 Fraser), WEDNESDAYS 6-8pm at Fairfield Community Place (1330 Fairfield). Free. southislandpridecentre.ca.

PFLAG- Confidential support for parents, families, friends, lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgender, twospirit, intersex, queer, questioning and allies. Support meeting 2-4pm every third SUNDAY of the month at St. John Divine Church lounge (1611 Quadra). 250-385-9462, victoriabc@ pflagcanada.ca.

BECOME AN AVI VOLUNTEER Volunteer with AIDS Vancouver Island. AIDS Vancouver Island (713 Johnson, 3rd floor). 250-384-2366 ext 2262, leslie.robinson@avi.org.

OVERWHELMING EMOTIONS SUPPORT GROUP - Borderline personality disorder, self-harm, PTSD? B.C. Schizophrenia Society meets regularly at 941 Kings. 250383-5144, box 2127, bpdvictoria@ gmail.com.

CRIDGE TRANSITION HOUSE Looking for female volunteers to drive women to appointments, take them apartment hunting, spend time with children letting them know they are valued and cared about, fill the house with delicious smells of baking and help out with dozens of other tasks and errands. 250-479-3963.

ANIMAL LOVERS - Greater Victoria Animal Crusaders needs volunteers to foster strays, answer phones, assist with transportation and trap feral cats. info@animalcrusaders.ca, 250-474-5581.

VOLUNTEER DRIVERS NEEDED To drive cancer patients to medical appointments. Contact the Canadian Cancer Society at 250-414-4253 or visit us online at cancervolunteer.ca.

VOLUNTEER OPPORTUNITIES Volunteer with Victoria Riding for the Disabled Association. No experience necessary. 16+. MONDAY-THURSDAY mornings and TUESDAY-THURSDAY afternoons. 778-426-0506, vrda@ shaw.ca.

MUSIC THURS. AUG. 16 SKYLORD - With Rooney and the Minglers and Le Rat. 10pm at Logan's Pub (1821 Cook). $7.

THE KINGMIXERS - Cd Release party for "Riding With Mr. Blues."

7:30pm at The Upper Deck Lounge (229 Gorge). $TBA.

MUSICAL BOUQUETS FOR EMILY - The Emily Carr String Quartet presents concert series with readings from Carr's journals in the Emily Carr House (207 Government). Aug. 16 and 17- "Stories from Klee Wyck" music by Mendelssohn and Stokes. $15/12.

RISING SCUM FEST DAY 1 - Featuring Guttermouth with The Hoosgow, Gastric Acid and Fableway.

9:30pm at Club 9ONE9 (919 Douglas). $15.

ADULTS - Geoff Lundstrom and Jason Cook. 9pm at Canoe Brewpub (450 Swift). $5 after 9pm.

FRI. AUG. 17 THE RISING SCUM FEST DAY 2 The Keg Killers, Capital City Stalkers, The Sweathogz, The Role Models.

10pm at Logan's Pub (1821 Cook). $10.

MIKE EDEL - Folk pop at the Canoe Brewpub (451 Swift). $5 after 9pm.

PHIL NEWNS - Jazz piano. 7pm at the DeltaOcean Pointe (45 Songhees). $TBA.

SAT. AUG. 18 PABLO CARDENAS - Paying tribute to Bill Evans for one night only. Doors at 6pm, show at 8pm at Hermann's Jazz Club (753 View). $12/15.

POMPADOORS- Light-hearted popAmericana at the Canoe Brewpub (451 Swift). $5 after 9pm.

AFTERNOON RECITALS - 4pm through July and August at Christ Church Cathedral (930 Burdett). By donation.

TALKING HEADS - Live music dance Party. 9:30pm at Logan's Pub (1821 Cook). $10.

LYRICS BORN -Featuring Skins & Needles on the Yes, Bay Area Tour.

With special guests Ishkan and Ashleigh Eymann. 7pm at Club 9ONE9 (919 Douglas). $16.

NIGEL MACK - All the way from Chicago for one night only for a blues attack with Summer and the Sinners.

9pm at the Esquimalt Legion (622 Admirals). $20 at the door. $5 off for legion, military and blues society members.

MARKET SQUARE COURTYARD SESSIONS -With Bonehoof and Celebrity Traffic. 1-4pm at Market Square. Free.

RISING SCUM FEST METAL NIGHT - With West of Hell, Mendozza, Abombanation, Acolytes of Impurity. 9:30pm at Sopranos (730 Caledonia). $10.

SUN. AUG. 19 THE DYLAN STONE TRIO Acoustic folk-rock steeped in the sonic landscapes of electric music.

With Mike Brooks on mandolin and Adrian Dolan on fiddle. After open stage, 7:30pm at Norway House (111 Hillside). $5. Victoriafolkmusic.ca.

DEEP SEA GYPSIES - 6pm at Soprano's (730 Caledonia). $TBA. RISING SCUM FEST FINALESwingin' Utters with Roll the Tanks and Class of 1984. 9pm at Club 9ONE9 (919 Douglas). $14.50/$16.50.

SPECIAL WOODSTOCK - Three stages of music, entertainment, workshops and more. 10:30am-6pm at Providence Farm (1843 Tzouhalem, Duncan). By donation. Wheelchair accessible.

CANUS-Hot jazz. 4pm at Hermann's Jazz Club (753 View). $12.

THE MOONSHINERS - Bluegrass with dobro, mandolin, fiddle, guitar, bass and three-part harmonies.

8:30pm at Swan's Pub. Free.

MON. AUG. 20 THE LINDEN SINGERS Auditioning new members. 7pm at St Luke's ANglican Church (3821 Cedar Hill). Contact David at 250-380-0315.

TUES. AUG. 21 SHAKY GROUND - The biggest hits from five decades live at Rutledge Park. Farmer's market, face painting, dancing and more. 6-8pm at the corner of Inverness and Cloverdale.

THE OLIVIER CLEMENTS GROUP - Modern jazz infused with hip hop beats with bassist Colin Nealis, pianist Sean Fyfe and drummer Kelby MacNayr. Presenting a special seven piece ensemble playing original music inspired by J Dilla. 7:30pm at Hermann's Jazz Club (753 View). $12.

Olivierclements.com.

WED. AUG. 22 AUDITIONS - The Newcombe Singers are seeking new members, all voices. First rehearsal Sept. 4. 7:30pm at St. Mary's Church (1701 Elgin).

Newcombesingers.com.

Disclaimer: Monday Personals/Variations does not pre-screen callers and assumes no liability regarding meetings arranged through this service.

Must be 18 years of age

MONDAY MAGAZINE AUGUST 16 - 22, 2012 mondaymag.com

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