Blackbright News touches on sensitive subjects

£3

Islam-Christian Can it work together

What’s wrong with Nappy Hair...

Why Be Faithful?

(Are Black Men Too Controlling?)

“You Don’t Own Me!”

Issue 8

Stimulates - Educates - Motivates - Elevates

Black - B r i g h t

Myrna Loy

A 2 year old black British boy visited Jamaica with his parents and while eating a guinep choked to death.

We do not know whether it was because the little boy ate it too fast, or whether his throat was too small to accommodate the seed, but what Jamaicans know that us British do not, is that you should never give guinep to a child. What is a guinep? Guinep is a fruit that grows in Jamaica and if you are a black Brit like me, your only recollection of guinep from Jamaican Nationals is that it tastes sweet. Parents who have lived in Great Britan for years wouldn’t think of warning us of its dangers, if we told them we were visiting their island with young children.

Many of us have grown to identify fruit as being nutritious and as such, beneficial for a child to eat.

However, guinep is not a fruit you give to a young child - there is something in the design of the seed and the fruit’s consistency that renders it dangerous. The seed needs to be broken before giving it to a foreignchild. Guineps should come with a hazard warning, but it doesn’t, and as a result, this little boy, and many more young children like him, have died in a similar way.

My memory of guinep from Jamaican nationals, was “You never try guinep?” (as though a crime had been committed) “ Yuh nuh taste fruit den!” With a recommendation like that, would you not want to try it and wouldn’t you want your children to have that memory too? I share this story because there will be many black-British parents or other nationalities visiting Jamaica or another part of the caribbean where guineps grow, and may give it unbeknowingly to a young child. By sharing the tragedy, I hope to prevent such a tragic accident from re-occurring.

EDITORIAL - HEALTH WARNING DON’T GIVE GUINEPS TO CHILDREN!

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Culture and society habits can be a big issue in my opinion and the most important factor to make the relationship work. Every single nation has its own habits and tra-

Culture:

It’s also hard to have a decent conversation with the partner’s family if you can’t speak their language. You’re lucky if some of them can but if not you always need your partner to translate what you’re saying and it’s not a very comfortable situation. I think language decides where to live as well, because if you don’t speak the language of a certain country, it makes it ten times worse to live happily you might feel isolated.

In my opinion, when thinking about starting a relationship with someone of a different culture and language, language can be a tough obstruction. You grow up in a society where everyone speaks this one language, it’s your mother tongue and you’re passionate about it. You know all the words very well and you are confident in using them, but when you love someone who doesn’t share your language, it makes it harder to build a communication bridge between them. That makes them unable to explain their feelings the way they want - it makes it harder to discuss important things. If one of the two partners can speak the other’s language ok, that makes things a lot easier, but doesn’t solve the communication problem entirely. For example, it can be a bit upsetting when you don’t get a joke your partner has made, or if you can’t explain everything you want to say. Sometimes you wish you can call them certain names like “sweet” in your language but you just can’t. Sometimes you wish you could get called “honey” in your language but you can’t have that. For those who can speak more than one language, they probably realise the words in foreign languages don’t mean that much to you as it does in your own language.

You can get used to it over time but it’s difficult in the beginning.

Language:

In answer to the article on the same subject in the last issue, I would like to say the following.

{Editing has been kept to a minimum to retain authenticity - Editor)

A Cultural Mix

Christianity

Islam -

This is an Online Publication Only

ISSN No. 1751–1909

Managing Editor: Myrna Loy

Studio 57 Saywell Road Luton LU2 0QG Tel: 01582 721 605 email: blackbrightnews@aol.com www.myspace.com/blackbrightnews

The Total Quality, Information-Based Publication that Stimulates, Educates, Motivates & Elevates

by The Cultural Learning Magazine developed to redress the negative stereotype!

Blackbright News

In my opinion it’s not a big problem where you partner comes from, it’s all about who will be my partner for the rest of my life? Does he/she ‘deserve’ to be the father/mother of my kids? The most important factor is the ethics and morals of your partner - yes different habits and traditions can be a problem but you can get

For example, relationship issues will be limited between an Egyptian and Saudi because they share a lot of things like the same language and religion, whereas there could be severe problems with other things, like food, clothes and the requirements of relationship between men and women as the Saudi society is very tough about that. The same goes for English and French but with different problems of course.

ditions. Let’s consider country 1 and country 2. They both have different cultural habits; sometimes a certain habit in country 1 is totally unacceptable in country 2 and it might be a considered a very bad thing.

Cultural behaviours can be a barrier also. Things like drinking, smoking and the idea of what a relationship means between men and women of diverse cultures. Clothes, food, how to spend your spare time could be an issue. I think this problem is exacerbated once two people from different countries get together. However it differs from a person to another - it depends basically on where you’re from and how flexible you can be, and how much you really want the relationship to work. The culture ‘problem’ can be maximised between westerns “European and Americans” and eastern “Arab, Indians, Chinese”.

2

Ahmed

I live in Egypt and these are my thoughts on such a mixed relationship.

I think this problem starts to get tougher when the couple plans on a baby - the father and the mother will try hard to bring the baby to ‘their side’ because each believes it’s the ‘right’ way. I would want my child to be “saved”.

That makes it a critical situation, especially for a baby to grow up in a house with two religions - it could cause instablility because the child would not know what’s happening and the victim is then the baby.

I think it becomes harder when you love someone and you know for sure they’re not going to be with you in heaven “from a certain opinion”, sometimes the feeling is mutual and sometimes it’s not, but that can be a problem when you love someone you want to save them, so it hurts when you stand there unable to do anything because they have a mind of their own and they have the right to make their own decisions without pressures or distractions.

Now that’s a critical issue to raise when you decide to marry a man/woman who doesn’t share the religion. I think what makes it a very sensitive subject is because the religion is very rigid. It deals with one of two options “spoiling in heaven” or “cruel punishment in hell”. When there are only two options, it makes decisions difficult. It’s strongly recommended to respect the other’s beliefs and all the religion encompasses, but in the end it will come to one conclusion “if you don’t follow ‘my’ instructions, you’ll end up in hell”. This prospect causes so much worry to the families in my opinion who tend to worry that the partner from another religion will distract their daughter/son from the ‘right’ path and that might cause her/him to forfeit their chance to go to heaven. In this scenario, the parents might feel like they didn’t protect what they consider as their life investment, but will be losing it forever, so it is very likely parents will try hard to talk the son/daughter out of it for their protection.

Religion

used to it over time. As long as the both parties are ready to make sacrifices so the relationship can survive, it could work. Also there must be an acute understanding for the other’s culture because after a period of time they will make a family, and the family must have a strong core, and it won’t happen until they both understand the other’s background and are able to live with it.

Can Unfaithfulness be Avoided?

What’s Wrong with ‘Nappy’ Hair?

(the Serial)

Diamond Brown

“YOU DON’T OWN ME!” (Are black men too controlling)

Ghetto Story

Fea tures:

IN THIS ISSUE...

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“What is my name again”

I never saw the highs on angels wings Now that it has all come to light How am I going to make things right Sometimes its hard to sleep at night Especially when my future is so blindingly bright When everything is so easy to find Where I am better than the rest of mankind My life is a breeze and never a bind That lying mind needs to be redesigned The truth is I do not know how to cope Death and despair cloud my mind like thick smoke Or tell me, is it all just one big sick joke My brain tells me this is where it all ends Look around you stupid you have no real friends Maybe, just maybe, it all depends On what the professional recommends I am bored with this now, I dont know about you So what do I say, what do I do What if your brain was lying to you Would you mind being Bipolar too?

Do I mind, now let me see My brain has been lying to me It is not wired up properly That affects my functionality Being labelled is what I want to avoid Or is that me just being paranoid My self esteem has been utterly destroyed Do I not have the right to be annoyed Why am I consumed with feelings of dread Confusion, illusion, inside my head Wishing I was able to get out of bed My strength is that of brittle thread Why do I just want to walk and hide From the phenomenal fear I have inside I want to put it all to one side But once again, my brain has lied This though is one of the strangest things I never noticed my mood swings I knew about the lows, and the darkness that brings

by Hendrow

Do You Mind if You are BIPOLAR

Leroy said he smokes and is even unable to study unless he does so. Smoking he says also helps him to release the tension and calms him down when he sometimes cries and ponders on his situation. Even when I met him at the library he was in a gloomy mood and was deep in thought before requesting my company.

Leroy spoke also about his fear of dying but he says one has 4 to be “tough out a road cos it no easy at all” with obvious sad“A me have fi gi mi madda a money more time fi buy her med-

“A she mi rate,” he said with a loving smile which lit up his eyes momentarily.

Leroy also spoke of his numerous girlfriends who readily satisfy his sexual desires and who throw themselves at him because of his “bad bwoy,” “gangsta” image. However he spoke glowingly about the apple of his eye who he says understands him and provide encouragement whenever his older brother, his biggest motivator isn’t around.

He acknowledges that his doings are really bad but he says he has to continue for “survival” because his mother cannot afford to properly provide for him.

Leroy has his share of familial issues which is what really prompts him to continue his drug dealings. He lives in a small board cottage with his mother and his younger sister. His mother is unemployed and has nervous problems and is sometimes unable to source medication and finds it even more difficult to single-handedly finance both him and his sister’s schooling.

Leroy showed to me how he pads his shoes with the “weed” as he transports it for sale at school. He actually packages the ganja in poly bags, cut the soles in his shoes and then carefully inserts the bag with the weed between the soles. This, he said, has to be done very skilfully in order not to create any wobble in his walking and elicit suspicions.

Quite ordinary, ‘don’t’? I thought so too but Leroy with eyes lurking with sadness that fateful afternoon in a library revealed to me that he is a gang member and thus leads a double life.

During the day he attends a prominent high school where he is in sixth form pursuing four CAPE subjects and at night he is a typical “hustler” on the streets where he toils as he distributes drugs and picks up cash from his customers. He said he sells “weed” for their “Don” in the community who he says is 38 years old. This “Don” Leroy says, targets the youth in the community within the fifteen to nineteen age group who have no father, and sends them on a “mission” and even equips them with guns to exploit and extort people.

Leroy, at first glance seems to live the life of an average 17 year old. He is dark, good looking and smiles with a deep dimple planted in his left cheek. He has the look of any teenage girl’s dream guy. He has intelligence which complements his charm and is very bright which is evident in his 7 x C passes including English, Economics and History all with credits.

Leroy engages his leisure time with football and music during which he listens to dancehall artiste Mavado.

by Shawna Kay Williams (Jamaica)

Ghetto Story

He explains how his other friends who too are gang members and drugs dealers urge him consistently to leave school and become fully immersed in the business, but Leroy says he wants a solid education and a PHD in economics where he can offer his expertise in solving many Jamaica’s economical dilemmas. Leroy’s ambitions include becoming a teacher of economics and relinquishing his nefarious indulgences and become an exemplary figure to youth like himself who feel distraught and burdened. He wants to motivate them and be a father to his children. The father he wishes he had.

Leroy also lamented the absence of his father who he says is alive but contributes absolutely nothing to his well-being and is the main reason why he became involved in his nefarious indulgences. “If my father did deh yah me wouldn’t do dem tings yah, trust me. Him woulda show me how to be a man and how to treat a woman. Nuff genalship weh mi use bout woman and nuff tings mi know a pan di streets mi know them.”

ication. Mi have fi lie to her and tell her a mi girlfren gi mi money cause she love mi. If mamma fine out she wuda get sicka and right now mi no want stress her out,” he explains to me after I asked why he cannot just relinquish this sort of living.

Award-winning Story by Shawna Kay Williams (Jamaica)

Sad isn’t it? Indeed it is very sad when one has to suffer so immensely at such a tender age. All I could have done was hug and console him.Just remember Leroy in your prayers and don’t be too quick to judge and criticise those “bad boys” because you never know what prompts them to behave the way they do. I have fallen guilty of this judgmental attitude and I am really sorry. Greed is not the reason behind Leroy’s actions but desperation is one of them. Finally I implore all fathers today, this very minute to carry out their responsibilities with great seriousness so that Leroy and many others like him will no longer have take up their responsibilities and suffer. PEACE!!!

Your son, Leroy.

Hey mama. I guess u are saying to yourself that I didn’t listen to the many warnings that you have given to me but what can I say? Life has been hard since the day you gave birth to me mama and I don’t blame you one bit for that because all the hardship that we went through just made me stronger.

This letter was written with tears in my eyes mom and a special love in my heart for you. I want you to know that all the good things that you did for me are appreciated. I am sorry for all the times I made you cry and worry about where I was. I knew the day would come when all the wrongs that I did would fall back on me, but I couldn’t stop because my eyes were fixed on the prize Mom. I was tired of being poor with no one to lend a helping hand so I had to make things happen for the family mom and the funny thing is, even though I sold drugs it felt good helping to put food on the table and easing some pressure off you. Now that I am gone I don’t want you to cry mom, just be strong, just like you taught me to be because I’m just gone for the moment. We will meet each other again.

Please pray for my soul and ask God to take me under his wings and forgive me for all my sins. I hope He will understand that all I ever wanted was respect and happiness.

ness and remorse and said “mi neva do anything in a mi life because mi love it - ah always fi stop a next problem. Trust me it hard fi me, especially when me think about mi mother. Mi love har believe mi”, and then revealed to me the letter he wrote to her in case he dies. The letter reads:

5

Not sure how true Dowbenko’s written statement is, but it is a scary proposition!

Bennett was also Reagan’s chairman of the National Endowment for the Humanities from 1981-1985 and Secretary of Education from 1985-1988.

...Bennett said that aborting all African-American babies “would be an impossible ridiculous, and morally reprehensible thing to do”, then added, “but the crime rate would go down”.

In his radio show, Bennett said that if “you wanted to reduce crime, if that were your sole purpose, you could abort every black baby in this country, and your crime rate would go down”...

... according to URI DOWBENKO, “Bill Bennett, the author of “The Book of Virtues” has called for the abortion of every black child in an effort to reduce crime in America.

Did You Know...

Finding out you’ve been cheated on, is generally a difficult thing to accept but not for 24 year old Nate. Nate had been involved with his girlfriend for a few months when he discovered through a friend that she had cheated on him. He took the mature step of confirming this with her rather than listen- 6

Men and women cheat for many reasons; the most common reason is unhappiness within the current relationship. It takes both partners to keep a relationship going strong. You need to be able to understand one another on a level deeper than face value. There are a few reasons why infidelity occurs. e.g. in need of excitement, believing they have found someone better, out of sheer greed, having the opportunity or simply an awful attitude towards relationships.

The above question is something on the mind of thousands of people who are currently in relationships. There is an answer but how we get the answer is a journey in itself.

Relationships should be all about love and trust. Even with this in mind people make the conscious (or subconscious) decision to stray away from ‘home’ and cheat on their beloveds.

I spoke to self-confessed serial cheater Sandra about her views on cheating. “I’ve cheated on a few of my partners, it’s like I can’t help myself”. When I asked Sandra what makes her unfaithful she told me: “It’s not unhappiness because I do like my boyfriend, it’s just I get bored easily. When he annoys

If your woman is stressing you out, you need to let her know.

If it’s causing you to be pushed away, don’t avoid the confrontation as this will make things difficult in the long run.

This is one of many attitudes to unfaithfulness. Nate went on to say, “I’ve cheated on girlfriends before, it’s because women stress me out! I wouldn’t go out to seek another girl but if it’s there then why not?” Now to me this sounds like a typical male view. Some men believe that women are just too sensitive and wouldn’t take kindly to being told to “quit hassling”.

ing to gossip. It was true; she had been seeing another guy on the side. Nate simply moved on from her. He said, “Yeah, I was cheated on, but I didn’t really let it affect me because there is no point in dwelling.”

By Victoria Woode

Can Unfaithfulness Be Avoided?

Look out for signs of your loved one cheating. A typical excuse is: “I was working late”. If your guy or girl looks for excuses to stay away from you, be concerned. If your other half is constantly ‘not in the mood for sex’ then you need to

We’ve established what cheating is and why people cheat, but I’m sure what you really want to know is how to prevent your partner from cheating? Contrary to popular belief it’s not only men who cheat. It’s just that women are better at hiding it, trust me.

So both men and women cheat, but for very different reasons. 23-year-old Mikey confirms this belief by saying: “I’ve cheated on my girl a couple times, but it’s was purely about the physical side of things…sex.”

Hmm! Well each to their own, but just remember Karma isn’t pretty!

So far it didn’t sound like she was in the wrong, but I did wonder how she feels being second best: “I don’t like it when a guy can’t be all mine and I do feel bad for their actual girlfriend, but at the end of the day, I don’t make any man come to me. It’s their choice and I don’t consider that I’m doing anything wrong. I like the attention and feeling of being wanted.”

I spoke to 21-year-old female who would like to remain anonymous. She definitely proved to be more mature than her years and explained to me how she has somehow always managed to be the ‘cheatee’. That’s right, the ‘other woman’. “I don’t know why it is, but I always end up being the other woman. Guy’s with wives or girlfriends always come my way. “I don’t tempt them, you could say I simply fall for the wrong guys.”

It is true to say that various people define cheating differently. From flirting, texting, kissing and, of course, sex.

Whatever the case may be, cheating is the ultimate betrayal.

Sometimes the actual act of infidelity has nothing to do with the consequences that follow. The lies and deceit is what tops it all. However, I believe the worse thing a cheater could do, is to have unprotected sex with someone else! It’s one thing to be getting physical with someone, but unprotected actions shows the uttermost disrespect.

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Famous author Oscar Wilde said; “The truth is rarely pure and never simple.” Therefore I can’t really tell you why people do what they do but I can make suggestions on how to keep what is rightfully yours.

Ouch! It seems like men and women have this in common.

When we’ve had too much grief from our other half, you have to get the stress out of your system one way or another. Well try another way! The act of cheating is simply one moment of satisfaction. It cannot last forever. So why do it? Eating chocolate has the exact same effect of releasing endorphins (the happy hormone) so try eating chocolate instead.

Jamaica won 9 Gold Medals in 2008 Olympics held in Beijing; Usain Bolt won 3!

Jamaica also won 3 silver medals and 5 bronze medals.

Greatness coming out of Jamaica! Cyaan tek dat away!

103.6 Eclectic Reggae on Saturdays (12 - 2pm) Live? www.lifefm.org.uk

Listen to her versatility on Life FM

Lady Loy Selects With Respect!

MEDALS FOR JAMAICA Beijing 2008

by Victoria Woode

In my opinion unfaithfulness can be avoided!

Finding out your partner has cheated is horrible news - just remember each case is unique. Couples who can work through problems increase the strength of their relationship. Once a cheater always a cheater is rarely the case.

Within reason, give your partner everything they want and more. This doesn’t mean spending your last penny or going without; but continuously show attention before they wonder where the love has gone. Surprise them, exceed their expectations and create some excitement. Don’t let yourself go. No matter how long you’ve been together you must make always an effort to look good.

ask yourself “If I’m not giving it to him/her, then who is?”

me I actually want to betray him.”

More often than not, however, your lifelong quest in all this, is a goal you were taught to aim for as the ultimate achievement of beauty since childhood; to make your hair as straight and as long as possible. Much time is therefore devoted to using hot irons and relaxing creams to attack your unruly mop of hair into submission in order to conform to this ideal. What I have just narrated is my own hair-story and I suspect, a lot of other black women’s too. Having grown up knowing nothing else, striving for straight hair is something 8

How you wear your hair says a lot about you, so naturally people pay a great deal of attention to their hair.

This seems to be a particular preoccupation for Black women. I have never entered an Afro hair salon that hasn’t been packed. Even if I go to the poor black areas, the salons there always enjoy a thriving business regardless of how other enterprises in the area are fairing. Hair, for Black women, is a fascination that starts early in life. From the time that you are a toddler you gradually become aware that for some reason, your hair receives more attention from your mother than any other feature. At an age when sitting still for a long time is an ordeal, you are made to endure early lessons in patience as your hair is subjected to all forms of experiments and manners of styling in which you have no say. As a result, you quickly come to share a similar lifelong obsession with your hair. You spend hours talking about hair with your girlfriends, spend extortionate amounts of money on your hair, and spend much of your leisure time experimenting with all the myriad choices of hairstyles that are available to black women as perhaps to no other ethnicity.

by Fiona Whata

What’s Wrong with Nappy Hair?

This curious attitude that black women tend to have about the hair assigned to them by nature has an interesting history. During the slave trade, when black slaves were brought to the Americas, they began to use herbs and ointments to straighten their hair in an effort to imitate the hair of their white owners. In early twentieth century, black American entertainers such as Florence Mills, used hot combs to straighten their hair.

It was, however, the African-American Madam C. J. Walker who revolutionised the hair industry for black women in early twentieth century. Having suffered from an ailment that made her lose some of her hair, she started experimenting with a number of remedies and hair products. She formed her own business which sold a conditioning product called Madam C. J. Walker’s Wonderful Hair Grower. Her business thrived she became the first recorded black female millionaire.

A lady who worked for her empire called Marjorie Joyner, invented the permanent wave, or ‘perm’. Over the decades, black hair has been the object of a number of trends from the Afro which was popular in the 1970s, to the Jeri curl and big wigs of the 1980s, to the asymmetrical hairdos.

The most consistent trend has been artificially straightened hair. It may have been in vogue in the 1970s, but natural or nappy

taken for granted, and something most will assume that all other black women will strive for. So it never occurs to wonder why artificially straightened hair is held in such high regard. Whatever the style or colour, pretty much all the women I see anywhere – salons, on the street, in hair magazines – have artificially straightened hair. I seldom see a black woman sporting her natural hair unless its dreadlocks; is it because in most cases it is considered undesirable?

Indeed there seems to be a prejudiced attitude against ‘nappy’ hair. One woman I spoke to recalled how her fellow black classmates had made fun of her when she had decided to go natural for a while when she was in high school. A woman named Marvia Laures wrote an article about this prejudice being evident in some churches in Jamaica: ‘these ‘natural’ hairstyles are described by some as being too backward or ‘country’ and thus not suitable for formal settings.’ There are those who argue that this aversion black women display towards their own hair, is a sign of self-loathing. After all, black women had no problem with their natural hairstyles until they came into contact with white women who of course have long, straight hair. It was only after this that black women started coming up with increasingly ingenious methods of elongating and straightening their hair. Surely this indicated that black women were ashamed of their blackness and were trying to repress it and look whiter.

Personally I have trouble buying into this argument.

Whenever I get my hair relaxed I don’t think to myself, ‘I’m ashamed of being black - I want to look white.’ I don’t believe that all of the many black women who artificially straighten their hair out there are doing so because they don’t like being black and wish they were white. I like straightened hair: it’s tidier, easier to manage and looks better. Then again it is easy to see the weakness behind my - and no doubt all other prostraight hair black women’s - rationale. Why exactly do I think that straightened hair looks more beautiful than leaving my hair natural? We weren’t born thinking that straightened hair is better; it’s a belief that was bred into us by the black women surrounding us, women who also had the same belief bred into them by the black women before them. A belief that goes back to slavery days when anything black was considered

hair generally tends to lose out to relaxed hair in the popularity stakes. Black hair magazines typically display a number of different hairstyles as well as tips on how to maintain these particular hairdos. But there is very little or no space devoted to readers who may have natural hair. It is taken for granted that all the readers will have artificially straightened hair and even those women who have braids will more often than not have relaxed hair underneath. The existence of women who choose to keep their hair natural is forgotten.

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THE OTHER SIDE OF TOURISM (If you’ve visited the Caribbean, you’ll love this!)

It’s witty, it’s funny, it’s engaging. £10 + p.p. or get it from your library. (ISBN 096323881-7) Order via www.myspace.com/blackbrightnews (Written by Myrna Loy, Published by AOG)

by Fiona Whata

At the end of the day, I think people should just live and let live. If straightened hair is not your thing, it is no reason to deride those who have it. Likewise if one chooses to leave her hair in its natural state, she shouldn’t be mocked for it or subjected to peer pressure, sometimes to the point of bullying, to straighten it. There are so many different hairdos and as long as one is happy with the one she has chosen, then I say each to their own.

But I still don’t consider it to be a negative thing to want to relax my hair rather than leaving it as it is; I don’t believe that straightening hair means you want to be white. Why is it that white women can spend a fortune on tanning beds and creams to darken their pale skin, get their lips injected to make them bigger, and get booty implants without being accused of hating their race and trying to be black? After all, were white women this obsessed with tanning and thick lips before they came into contact with black people? When I first became aware of the theory that straightening your hair means you hate your race and trying to be white, I thought it was rather silly and a tad irritating. Some people just have to find fault with everything, even hair. I just consider it to be human nature to desire what you do not have, and I think the beauty industry understands this and uses it to its advantage. More money is made by selling women the idea that beauty is not something you are born with but can buy, than is made by encouraging them to believe that they don’t have to alter their natural features in order to be beautiful. In my opinion beauty and fashion trends have more to do with this human trait that it does with race.

inferior to anything white. If I therefore, don’t question why I find straightened hair to be prettier than natural hair every time I comb my hair in the morning, it’s because it’s the only belief I’ve ever been exposed to so it feels natural to me. It could be argued by antistraightened hair people that I, like all other women who relax their hair, hate my blackness and try to alter it without consciously being aware of it.

http:loyonlife.pod matic.com

o

For Roots Reggae, Lovers Rock & Studio One

Did you miss the Loy on Life Show?

Kiprich - an excellent Lyrical DJ/ Poet His words are potent; his riddim apt “Telephone Ting”, “The Letter” & “Bun fi Bun” This is artist is a Blessed One! www.myspace.com/kiprich

on www.myspace.com/ladyloy

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10

Medium-sized Pyrex dish Blender Spoon/fork

Cut it up into cubes or slices and place into a greased Pyrex (or ovenproof) dish.

Blend the soaked fruit with all the sugar.

Pour it over the bread.

Sprinkle grated cinnamon over the bread.

Pour all the milk over the ingredients and allow to soak into the bread (3 -4 hours) or overnight in the fridge.

Press the bread down with a fork so that every thing blends together.

Place in oven for 40 minutes at 150 on a gas assisted oven (or until brown and cooked).

You can now have your bread and butter pudding hot, warm or cold.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

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9.

Nice with tea, coffee, a glass of white wine or sherry - Yummy!

Butter the bread.

1.

Now we are ready to make Loy’s Bread Pudding!

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Resources/utensils

Mixed fruit soaked in 1/4 pt of white rum (for at least three weeks); week old loaf of white (or brown) bread; 1/2 tub of butter; pint of milk; a pinch of cinnamon; 1 tsp vanilla essence; 1/4lb of sugar.

Ingredients

BREAD PUDDING with a difference!

It was draining thinking of excuses to tell Birbery about why his father was in jail. She didn’t know herself. She had just received a one minute phone call from him, telling her that he had been framed. She hadn’t been able to find out where he was or anything and now, after telling her son on numerous occasions to stay out of trouble, she now had to tell him that his father was in jail for using a deadly weapon.

Diamond lay on her bed and stared at the ceiling. As far back as she could remember they had tried to protect their son. She couldn’t do it anymore. He would have to know. Tears stung her eyes, her tears had been stinging a lot lately. She was ready. She would tell her son the truth.

It was around 11.20pm when Birberry pushed the key through the door.

“Hi Mah.. are you up? Is dad sleeping?” he shouted up the stairs when he heard some movement.

“Come up here son, I have something to tell you!”

Birberry strode up the stairs, knocked on his mother’s door, not waiting for an answer went in.

“Wassup mah.. where’s dad?”

“Sit down son” she said motioning to the side of her bed.

He sat down, his eyebrows furrowed with concern.

“The police have taken your dad, Eli” “When? Why? He said interrupting her.

“Last night son..”

“So why didn’t you tell me?” he responded angrily.

“I didn’t know how to.. he said he has been framed.

I don’t know where they are holding him.. I ...”

Diamond broke down into tears, sobbing her explana-

(Pt.3 A serial short story)

Diamond Brown

tion. Birberry reached over to her and put his muscular arms around her to comfort. It was as if he was the parent. As he sat there holding her, he realised that his mother had not been honest with him. After all, he had come in earlier, and asked for his father and she had told him that he wasn’t home yet, knowing that he was in jail. Something about his mother’s dishonesty annoyed him: “So when I came in yesterday you knew pops was in jail and you never told me?”

He pulled away, withdrawing the love with him.

“I didn’t know how to, Eli? I had just been told, and I was trying to work it out in my head!”

“So you made me go out last night believing that I was going to see pops when I got home – and you knew he was banged up?”

“I’m sorry son!”

“What’s he in there for anyway” Birberry asked softening at his mother’s distress.

“They said they caught him with a deadly weapon – he didn’t get a chance to say much and I didn’t even find out which jail he is in, and when I tried to find out, no-one could help me!”

“Don’t cry mah! I will look after you – I will get a job and we will work things out. Daddy is bound to write to ask what is going on” “But he is going to feel I abandoned him”. Diamond started crying uncontrollably as she imagined how she would feel if she was in jail and no-one came to visit “I have some friends in the police force, I will ask one of them to see if they can find out where he is” Birberry reassured her.

“You know people in the police force?” Diamond asked surprised.

“Sure. Our Community Neighbourhood Officer, Pete Turney. We have chats with him all the time. I will ask him. Pete even asked if you would come to one of their meetings, but I told him you were working.

“Oh. I wouldn’t mind going to one of their meetings actually. Could you get me the details? It looks like you are more than equipped to look after me!” she said with a smile. They hugged and Birberry said he was going to bed and would speak to Pete in the morning.

Diamond felt a little better, closed her eyes and fell asleep on top of the duvet.

The following morning, Birberry called Mark and told him what had happened and that he needed to speak to the Community Neighbourhood Officer or the CNO as they called him. Mark said he would be right over.

“Eli, make sure you have something to eat before you leave and please be careful!”

11 “I will mah, on both counts!” Birberry shouted back.

By Myrna Loy

It wasn’t long before Mark knocked on the kitchen window, laughing at Birberry scoffing his bowl of cereal. The milk was running down his face because he was eating it too fast and Birberry got up and opened the back door, his mouth still full and chomping away. Birberry directed Mark to sit down at the kitchen table, and then motioned him to help himself to the box of cereal while he was trying to swallow the overload in his mouth. Mark giggled and shook his head. “Naaah! I’m cool”, he said.

When Birberry had swallowed the remnants in his mouth, he asked Mark if he had seen the CNO on his way in.

Yes, I saw him the junction of Dixon and Peaches.

Dixon Road and Peaches Road was considered a ‘bad area’. If you didn’t live there, it was best not to go there, but Birberry had to see the CNO and find out where his father was.

“Are you ready?” asked Birberry slipping a knife into its casing and placing inside his trousers.

“Why are you taking that B?” asked Mark, concerned.

“Look where we have to go, bro!

Dixon and Peaches, it’s mad out deh!” he said defensively, falling into patwa.

“I know it is bad, but you are better off without that bro!” Mark chastised pointing to the area where Birberry had placed the knife.

“Naah man, when you go pan de road, we haffee be in a position fe defen’ we-self ” said Birberry trying to sound rough.

“But your father is in jail! Your mother doesn’t want to hear that her son is dead, and that is what you are inviting, by carrying that thing!” appealed Mark protectively.

“Are you wiv me, Bro?” Birberry asked in a serious tone.

“Yu know I got your back bro. I have always had your back from day one – that is why I don’t want you to take the knife – I don’t wanna hear that you got done for shanking someone or carrying a deadly weapon!”

“It’ll be cool, bro!” I ain’t going out looking for trouble, I just want to see the CNO. But I feel safer wid dis!” he said pointing to his tool.

Mark shrugged. “OK, bro. Let’s go!”.

“Mah! I’m outta here.. I’m going on da road!”

“OK son, Diamond shouted down prophetically, be careful!”

“Yeh mah!”

Birberry responded and closed the kitchen door behind him.

12

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JAMAICA, FAREWELL tells the story of Debra Ehrhardt’s journey in which she escapes revolution-torn Jamaica in the 1970’s. Left to her own devices, she risked prison time, and even death in an attempt to pull off a daring and dangerous caper with the unwitting help of an infatuated American CIA agent to fulfil her lifelong dream of starting over in America.

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Pretty much all of the reviews I hear about married life are negative. The only time I hear or read about anyone praising their partner and recommending marriage is in romance fiction books and in movies. In real life all I hear is complaints - the last one from a cousin of mine. “Do me a favour”, she sighed to me in exasperation, “don’t get married. It is hell”. She told me she often seriously contemplated hooking up with a white man instead. Her main grievance on this occasion was that she felt her husband was oppressing her, and refusing to regard her as an equal. This wasn’t an isolated incident either. Whenever I am around any gatherings of female relatives or just black women in general, this is a complaint that is reiterated the most and takes precedent over any other problems.

“My husband is too controlling”.

“My husband expects me to wait on him hand and foot”.

Like all young girls, I grew up fantacising about a Prince Charming coming to sweep me off my feet to a fairytale wedding and a happily-ever-after marriage. Now that I’m older I would like to believe that I have a more mature and realistic perspective of matrimony.

However, not having yet entered into this institution, I can’t deny that I still retain a little of my girlhood idealism regarding marriage. I suppose it is this optimism that despite discouraging reviews from those within, ensures that so many young women eagerly apply for membership to join the marriage club.

Are Black Men too Controlling?

13

Coming from an African environment, I am acquainted with the traditional roles assigned to women. Wives are the homemakers; they tend to the housekeeping chores and look after the children. It is the husband who has a job, brings home the bacon and makes all the decisions which the wife complies with and plays no role in. Good wives submit to their husbands and serve them. This traditional role expected of women is not restricted to just Africans of course, but it appears to persist more in the African culture than it does in Western culture. While this master-servant like relationship is not a rule that is strictly adhered to the letter in this day and age because women have jobs and aren’t literally servants to their men; it is still a rule that however loosely applied, is expected to set the dynamics of partnerships. Normally husbands have no problem with their wives working and don’t treat them as slaves, it is only when they find themselves battling to overrule their wives regarding a decision or when she starts earning a salary equal or surpassing their own, that power and equality suddenly becomes an issue. “The trouble with women”, they’ll lament,“is that they don’t know their place”, or “the trouble with women of today is that they have become too westernised and want to be on an equal footing with men”. The number one reason these men give for refusing to treat their spouses as equals is that “..it is our African cul-

‘My husband wants me to show deference to him all the time.’

The opinion has slowly taken hold in my mind that black men tend to have a problem with viewing black women as their equals. To make it clear: I don’t think all black men are like this, just some. So why am I singling out black men? Well it’s just that I have noticed that there seems to be a greater number of black men who are in the ‘some’ category than men of other races. If you’re a black guy who treats your woman as an equal and does not seek to dominate her, there’s no need to feel attacked on reading this. For me, it’s ‘some’ black men I am referring to. I’ve had acquaintances with married white women and while they might moan about husbands being addicted to sports or not being romantic, I rarely, if ever, hear them complaining that their men deny them equality in their marriages. I’m not saying that there aren’t any non-black men who don’t treat their women as equals, but oppressiveness doesn’t appear to be a trait that afflicts them in the epidemical proportion evident among certain black men. I could be wrong, but it does appear to me that there are more black men than white who are threatened by sharing power in a relationship. I wonder why this is so and if it is possible to have a truly equal relationship in black partnerships, in terms of decision-making, responsibilities and power.

The men, who seem to bleat on the most about women ‘not knowing their place,’ are those from an older generation who grew up in times when racial discrimination was most rampant. Perhaps these men felt so oppressed and powerless in society that the only way they could feel like men, was to place themselves in a superior position to women by being controlling with their wives. And perhaps the black men of today that have problems sharing power in relationships have subconsciously picked up the idea from their fathers that the only way to be a real man is to suppress and rule over women. It would explain why there are more black men than white who are threatened by sharing power in marriages. All this is just speculation on my part of course, and I am aware that it is a flawed theory. The traditional role of the wife

So why do some black men who complain so much about the inequality and oppression their race has faced in the past, insist on inequality and oppressing their own women? One would have thought that being black, they, of all people, would be repulsed by the idea of oppressing anyone themselves. The only answer I can think of is one I base on logic. If a man is secure in himself, he doesn’t feel the need to go around constantly over asserting himself to show that he is a man.

It is only an insecure man who seeks to dominate and control those around him to cover up his insecurity. In marriage, this would explain a man’s need to control and oppress his wife. It is only an insecure man whose ego is so fragile that he finds any notion of equality a threat to his masculinity and can only deal with women if he places them in an inferior position to him.

is, I suspect, simply an excuse and the real answer lies elsewhere.

ture.’ Even in places away from Africa like the UK, some black men defend their stance similarly:“as black people this is our culture”. It is however, difficult to take these men’s comments seriously upon the observation that they don’t appear to be all that devoted to other aspects of African culture, like wearing traditional African clothing or worshipping the ancestors of their forebears. The culture card that is whipped out

14

In August, we heard the sad news of the death of two icons within days of each other. Isaac Hayes, famous for the theme ‘Shaft’ died on 10 August aged 65 and Bernie Mac two days earlier aged 50. Isaac Hayes was better known to younger audiences as the voice of ‘Chef ’ from the hit cartoon show, South Park, while Bernie featured in so many films, the most memorable for me, being “Guess Who?”. (Loy)

(Photo taken from www.toxicshock..tv)

Isaac Hayes & Bernie Mac Two Icons Pass On..

by Fiona Whata

From the viewpoint I have now, I can only conclude that it is insecurity, not dedication to culture, that drives some men to be so repulsed by women who challenge them as equals rather than meekly submitting to them. I am not criticising traditional partnership roles in general; there is nothing wrong with women being homemakers and men being the sole breadwinner, but it would be nice if women could play a role in making decisions if they wish without a fuss from their men.

Because not all black men deny equality to their wives, I would like to believe that my optimism in the institution of marriage is not misplaced. Hopefully there are a number of Prince Charmings’ out there who will respect their black wives enough to have an equal relationship with them.

was in place long before the white man came to Africa, so fragile egos created under the oppression by white society cannot be the main reason why some black men today can only handle playing a superior role in marriage. It is however the only theory that makes the most sense to me at the moment. Perhaps I might have a better idea of the psychological motivations of these dominating men if I were to marry one of them.