Black & Pink News, Volume 10, Issue 2 - April 2019

Black and Pink News

artwork by lexx valdez, courtesy of amplifier.org

The Femme Issue: April 2019

artwork by Rommy Torrico, courtesy of amplifier.org

Volume 10, Issue 3

blackandpink.org

A message from Dominique...

Page 3

Hello, my fam!

How is your spring so far? Did you survive Pisces season?

My birthday was March 19 so your boy is officially 37 now (YIKES)!

I wanted to start this off by saying I am so excited for 2019 and Black and Pink. We are doing some dope stuff and growing in ways I never could have imagined a year and a half ago.

As our work gets larger I struggle to think of ways to stay centered and keep my personal energy.

Many people don’t realize/know I’m an introvert. So as much as people feed my soul they drain it as well. Can any of y’all relate?

I remember walking the yard and getting up super early to have a few moments to my self before my cellie and the rest of the yard woke up. Always seeking that bit of peace.So I want to talk to you all about peace.

So I want to talk to you all about peace. The wonderful about focusing on peace and not always being “happy” is that peace feels accessible everywhere. I was maybe 6 months into my 18 months in solitary when I had to ask myself how can I find calmness in this storm. How do y’all find peace? How do you stay centered? If you struggle with finding peace, what do you think would be helpful?

The September Issue of the newsletter will be focused on self-care and mindfulness.

We are working with experts on these topics to supply you all with techniques and programming that we hope will be beneficial. June will be our Pride issue and with this year being the 50th Anniversary of

Stonewall you KNOW we are going to have shenanigans aplenty! I love you all and I thank you for being the reason I get out of bed every day for the last year and a half. Stay strong but know that you don’t HAVE to be strong all of the time. I’m thinking of you all every day.

Love, Dom PS - I get all of your letters and I’m working on replying to them!

PSS - Mail is finally caught up for the first time in YEARS - we are now working on processing advocacy requests now that we have a Policy and Advocacy Department!

Dominique before his TED Talk on Resisilience, with friend and fellow activist Andrew Aleman. 56892 was Dominique’s number when he was inside, now he has a clothing line that is pushing back on the negative connotations of being incarcerated.

Page 4

In This Issue News you can use Ray Hill, ‘citizen provocateur’ who fought for gay rights and prison reform pages 5-6 Women’s Mass Incarceration: The Whole Pie 2018 pages 7-9 How Our Generation is Changing the Definition of ‘Femme’ pages 10-11 5 ways you can make your feminism more intersectional pages 12-13 Introduction to the 12 Zodiac Signs: from Aries to Pisces pages 14 - 15 April Horoscope 2019 pages 15 - 16 Black & Pink family

Art pages 23, 27, 30, 33, 34, 45 Letters pages 17-46

Black & Pink Hotline The hotline phone number is (531) 600-9089. The hotline will be available Sundays, 1-5 p.m. (Eastern Standard Time) for certain. You can call at other times, as well, and we will do our best to answer your calls as often as possible. We are sorry that we can only accept prepaid calls at this time. The purposes of the hotline are: Supportive listening: Being in prison is lonely, as we all know. The hotline is here for supportive listening so you can just talk to someone about what is going on in your life.

Organizing: If there are things going on at your prison—lockdowns, guard harassment, resistance, or anything else that should be shared with the public—we can help spread the word.

work toward the abolition of the prison-industrial complex (PIC) is rooted in the experiences of currently and formerly incarcerated people. We are outraged by the specific violence of the PIC towards LGBTQ people, and we respond through advocacy, education, direct service, and organizing. Black & Pink is proudly a family of people of all races and ethnicities.

About Black & Pink News Since 2007, Black & Pink free world volunteers have pulled together a monthly newspaper, composed primarily of material written by our family’s incarcerated members. In response to letters we receive, we send the newspaper to more prisoners every month! Black & Pink News currently reaches more than 9,400 prisoners!

Give us a call! (531) 600-9089 Sundays, 1-5 p.m. EST

We look forward to hearing from you! This is our first attempt at this so please be patient with us as we work it all out. We will not be able to answer every call, but we will do our best. We apologize to anyone who has been trying to get through to the hotline with no success. We are still working out the system. Thank you for being understanding.

Thoughts on Pen Culture and Reform page 43

Restrictions: The hotline is not a number to call about getting on the penpal list or to get the newspaper.

The hotline is not a number to call for sexual or erotic chatting. The hotline is not a number for getting help with your current court case; we are not legal experts.

Submit to Black and Pink! page 54

Statement of Purpose Black & Pink is an open family of LGBTQ prisoners and “free world” allies who support each other. Our

Poetry pages 47-53

April 2019

Black & Pink News

Disclaimer The ideas and opinions expressed in Black & Pink News are solely those of the authors and artists and do not necessarily reflect the views of Black & Pink. Black & Pink makes no representations as to the accuracy of any statements made in Black & Pink News, including but not limited to legal and medical information. Authors and artists bear sole responsibility for their work. Everything published in Black & Pink News is also on the internet—it can be seen by anyone with a computer. By sending art or written work to “Newspaper Submissions,” you are agreeing to have it published in Black & Pink News and on the internet. In order to respect our members’ privacy, we publish only first names and state locations. We may edit submissions to fit our anti-oppression values and/or based on our own editing guidelines.

Volume 10, Issue 3

blackandpink.org

Page 5

April 2019

What Does Femme Mean? The Difference Between Being Femme & Being Feminine

By Gina Tonic

Bustle August 24, 2016 I have always been feminine. But only in the past few years have I called myself “femme.” The difference stands not in abbreviation, but in queer coding. Unfortunately, many folks outside of the queer scene don’t fully understand what femme means or recognize its distinct differences from feminine.

But the differences are precisely why the word femme must exist in the first place.

To put it simply, “femme” is a

descriptor for a queer person who presents and acts in a traditionally feminine manner, as explained by feminist media site Autostraddle.

This might be a cis pillow princess, like myself, an asexual trans woman, or a gay non-binary individual, but all femmes hit upon two key aesthetic and identityrelated traits: Being feminine and falling somewhere on the LGBTQ spectrum.

There is also a sense of reclamation when it comes to the femme descriptor. For many, it’s about owning the stereotypes and expectations so often placed on

women and making them our own.

As Evan Urquhart wrote for Slate in 2015, “Intentionality is the key to distinguishing a femme identity from a traditionally feminine one.”

Urquhart’s point is that being femme isn’t about acting feminine or “girly” in the ways mainstream society generally feels that femalepresenting people “should” act.

Instead, it’s about subverting the expectations that women face purely for being women. This is why you will often see femmeidentifying people presenting exaggerated versions of femininity over traditional, cookie-cutter, or

Page 6

preppy ones.

For me, using the word “femme” over the descriptor “feminine” is a key component in claiming my queerness. It’s a queerness that has often, because of my bisexuality, been erased. This experience is one lived by many queer women and has arguably been discussed more and more with the rise of the internet, including a Twitter campaign by Huffington Post in 2014 that resulted in the hashtag #WhatFemmeLooksLike.

In 2012, queer and relationships blogger Sinclair Sexmith explained femme invisibility succinctly in a post, with no beating about the bush, noting: “Femme invisibility is a real thing.

It happens all the time. Queer women who are feminine get seen as straight — by straight folks, other queer folks, and sometimes even queer femmes themselves — because this culture expects dykes to reject gender roles automatically when rejecting a heterosexual orientation. As if those two things go together inseparably.”

What’s important to conceptualize about this quote and the narrative that it is fighting against is the division between gender and sexuality that is, actually, an important one. Although gender and sexuality can be undeniably and intrinsically linked, they are not one and the same. What we identify as and who we are attracted to are two separate constructs, and how we present ourselves physically often has little to do with who we are attracted to.

In Urquhart’s same Slate article,

April 2019

Black & Pink News

a friend summed up the contrast of being interested in women and appearing feminine perfectly: “Being femme is about being authentic to what I actually like and how I actually want to appear, in spite of what my sexuality leads people to expect.”

If we expect women who like women to present as butch and men who like men to present as feminine, we inadvertently reinforce gender binaries. This is not a slight against butch women, feminine men, or anyone in between, but rather a critique of the expectation so many people feel to fulfill these roles based on their sexuality.

In a comic for Everyday Feminism, artist Anna Bongiovanni explained the privilege in this binary: “We live in a culture that celebrates masculinity and demonizes and shames femininity and those habits don’t go away in the queer

community.”

This promotion of heteronormativity is harmful, though. It erases identities and denies the reality that our identities are complex.

For those reasons, it is crucial to remember that a butch lesbian isn’t usually playing into stereotypes of sexuality any more than a femme lesbian is playing into stereotypes of gender: Our identities are so much more layered than that.

So when it comes to feminine and 100 percent straight individuals contemplating whether they should self-describe as femme, I’d personally suggest steering clear from a word that means so much within a community they are not a part of. Ultimately, “femme” is about braking binaries. It’s about subverting cultural expectations.

It’s about being more than one thing. It’s about queerness.

the author

Words to Know: hashtag - a phrase or word that is used with the # sign, to identify movements, types of content, etc. on social media platforms. heteronormativity - the idea that heterosexuality is the norm of society.

Volume 10, Issue 3

blackandpink.org

Page 7

Women’s Mass Incarceration: The Whole Pie 2018

By Aleks Kajstura

The Prison Policy Initiative November 13, 2018 With growing public attention to the problem of mass incarceration, people want to know about women’s experience with incarceration.

How many women are held in prisons, jails, and other correctional facilities in the United States? And why are they there? How is their experience different from men’s?

While these are important questions, finding those answers requires not only disentangling the country’s decentralized and overlapping criminal justice systems, but also unearthing the frustratingly hard to find and often altogether missing data on gender.

This report provides a detailed view of the 219,000 women incarcerated in the United States, and how they fit into the even broader picture of correctional control. This 2018 update to our inaugural Women’s Whole Pie report pulls together data from a number of government agencies and calculates the breakdown of women held by each correctional system by specific offense. The report, produced in collaboration with the ACLU’s Campaign for Smart Justice, answers the questions of why and where women are locked up: In stark contrast to the total incarcerated population, where the state prison systems hold twice as many people as are held in jails,

incarcerated women are much more evenly split between state prisons and local jails. This has serious consequences for incarcerated women and their families.

Women’s incarceration has grown at twice the pace of men’s incarceration in recent decades, and has disproportionately been located in local jails. The explanation for exactly what happened, when, and why does not yet exist because the data on women has long been obscured by the larger scale of men’s incarceration. Frustratingly, even as this report is updated every year, it will not become a tool for tracking changes in women’s incarceration over time. The dearth of data means that this report is compiled from the best sources available, which are updated less frequently than “total population” data, and are often not compatible across years.

Jails loom large in women’s incarceration Looking at the big picture shows that a staggering number of women who are incarcerated are not even convicted: a quarter of women who are behind bars have not yet had a trial. Moreover, 60% of women under local control have not been convicted of a crime and are awaiting trial.

Adding to the picture of women in local jails, aside from women under local authority (or jurisdiction), state and federal agencies pay local jails to house an additional 13,000 women. For example, ICE

and the U.S. Marshals, which have fewer dedicated facilities for their detainees, contract with local jails to hold roughly 5,000 women. So the number of women physically held in jails is even higher.

Women are disproportionately stuck in jails Avoiding pre-trial incarceration is uniquely challenging for women.

The number of unconvicted women stuck in jail is surely not because courts are considering women, who are generally the primary caregivers of children, to be a flight risk. The far more likely answer is that incarcerated women, who have lower incomes than incarcerated men, have an even harder time affording cash bail. When the typical bail amounts to a full year’s income for women, it’s no wonder that women are stuck in jail awaiting trial.

Even once convicted, the system funnels women into jails: About a quarter of convicted incarcerated

Page 8

women are held in jails, compared to about 10% of all people incarcerated with a conviction.

So what does it mean that large numbers of women are held in jail — for them, and for their families?

While stays in jail are generally shorter than in stays in prison, jails make it harder to stay in touch with family than prisons do. Phone calls are more expensive, up to $1.50 per minute, and other forms of communication are more restricted - some jails don’t even allow real letters, limiting mail to postcards.

This is especially troubling given that 80% of women in jails are mothers, and most of them are primary caretakers of their children.

Thus children are particularly susceptible to the domino effect of burdens placed on incarcerated women.

Women in jails are also more likely to suffer from mental health problems and experience serious psychological distress than either women in prisons or men in either correctional setting. Compounding the problem, jails are particularly poorly positioned to provide proper mental health care. (Though that is certainly not to say that prisons are always better at meeting women’s needs.)

Ending mass incarceration requires looking at all offenses — and all women The numbers revealed by this report enable a national conversation about policies that impact women.

Seeing the full scope of women’s incarceration enables us to talk about policies that impact women incarcerated by different government agencies and in different types of facilities. These

Black & Pink News

figures also serve as the foundation for reforming the policies that lead to incarcerating women in the first place.

Too often, the conversation about criminal justice reform starts and stops with the question of nonviolent drug and property offenses.

While drug and property offenses make up more than half of the offenses for which women are incarcerated, the chart reveals that all offenses — including the violent offenses that account for roughly a quarter of all incarcerated women — must be considered in the effort to reduce the number of incarcerated women in this country. This new data on women underlines the need for reform discussions to focus not just on the easier choices but on the policy changes that will have the most impact.

Furthermore, even among women, incarceration is not indiscriminate.

A recent study revealed that a third of incarcerated women identify as lesbian or bisexual, compared to less than 10% of men. The same study found that lesbian and bisexual women are likely to receive longer sentences than their heterosexual peers. And although the data do not exist to break down the “whole pie” by race or ethnicity, overall, and Black and American Indian women are markedly overrepresented in prisons and jails: Incarcerated women are 53% White, 29% Black, 14% Hispanic, 2.5% American Indian and Alaskan Native, 0.9% Asian, and 0.4% Native Hawaiian and Pacific Islander. While we are a long way away from having data on intersectional impacts of sexuality and race or ethnicity on women’s likelihood of incarceration, it is clear that Black and lesbian or bisexual

April 2019

women are disproportionately subject to incarceration.

The tentacles of mass incarceration have a long reach Even the “Whole Pie” of incarceration above represents just one small portion (17%) of the women under correctional supervision, which includes over a million women on probation and parole. Again, this is in stark contrast to the general incarcerated population (mostly men), where a third of all people under correctional control are in prisons and jails.

Three out of four women under control of any U.S. correctional system are on probation. Probation is often billed as an alternative to incarceration, but instead it is frequently set with unrealistic conditions that undermine its goal of keeping people from being locked up. For example, probation often comes with steep fees, which, like bail, women are in the worst position to afford. Failing to pay these probation fees is often a violation of probation. Childcare duties further complicate probation requirements that often include meetings with probation officers, especially for women with no extra money to spend on babysitters or reliable transportation across town.

All of these issues make women particularly vulnerable to being incarcerated not because they commit crimes, but because they run afoul of one of the burdensome obligations of their probation supervision.

While more data is needed, the data in this report lends focus and perspective to the policy reforms needed to end mass incarceration without leaving women behind.

Volume 10, Issue 3

Editor’s note:

blackandpink.org

Unfortunately, when this data is collected, it is very likely that these graphs represent both cis women, trans men, and any AFAB (assigned female at birth) individuals on the gender spectrum. It is not ideal, or truly inclusive, but it is how data is collected by most agencies at this time.

Page 9

Page 10

Black & Pink News

April 2019

How Our Generation Is Changing the Definition of ‘Femme’

By Jenna Wortham

OUT February 13, 2019

As a child, my favorite stories were the ones where the kids deceived the adults in innocent ways. Harriet the Spy and From the Mixed-up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler were books about children who created their own systems of value and reality — who instinctively understood that there was no spoon, that life contained greater mystery than the adults let on, or even knew about, and set out to manifest it for themselves.

Maybe that’s why I liked being mistaken for a boy so much when I was young. I lived in an androgynous cocoon of overalls and scruffy Nikes, my hair a drifting afro puff with a ducktail. Shopkeepers and servers in restaurants often complimented my parents on having such a cute son. I reveled in those slippery moments; plus, sometimes I got a free Slurpee out of their clerical errors. Back then, being misgendered was as familiar as being gendered, and I understood that what adults had assigned to me didn’t have to belong to me.

Not long ago, someone slid into my DMs inviting me to a meditation circle to hold space after a rash of violence against Black women, including Diamond Stephens and Nia Wilson. The group, the host explained, was only for women and nonbinary femme folks. Soon

after, I was also asked to appear on a podcast that centers femme experiences and perspectives. Both times, I hesitated and ultimately declined. I ride for femmehood and everything it stands for, even though it’s not a label that I apply to myself. On the inside, I’ve never stopped feeling like that giddy boygirl child, even when I choose to drape myself in gold rings, a matte red lip, and Fenty highlighter. There is a delicate balance between the femininity visible on the outside and the masculinity that is always percolating under the surface.

Our culture’s hyperawareness of categorizing people according to masc and femme characterizations has cracked open my understanding of self and who others might interpret me to be.

On an episode of Femme, Collectively, the podcast on which I wound up not appearing, cohost Rahel Neirene describes her relationship to her femme identity as “centering myself when thinking about my self-love, who I am, what I need in love and friendship, what I need with family. For me, that looks like being honest about my traumas and allowing myself to have a softness and a hardness when I need it. And not being scared of being silent.” For Neirene, femmeness deals with expressions of emotional labor — it’s more political than presentation. I feel that: Beyoncé’s bank balance is femme, the delicate way my stoop cat licks their paw is femme, the way my friend Fran’s nails are always perfectly rounded

and red, complementing his mustache, is so femme. In Neirene’s definition, what femme occupies is in the details: an aesthetic, a texture, a suggestion.

One of my lesbian elders, Alexis DeVeaux, recently reminded me of the time we were traveling together in South Africa. She was decked out in brightly colored lipstick and nail polish, and her custom Converses were embroidered with the words “Leather Daddy,” a look she described as “bang, bang, bang.”

“But someone called me ‘butch’ that day — like, ‘Oh, you are so butch,’ and I was so surprised, because I am not one or the other,” she tells me.

“Honey, I queer both the masculine and femme.” For DeVeaux — and me — masc and femme coexist as collaborators, not competitors. She, like me, wasn’t bothered by the categorization but curious about what they read in her that she didn’t read in herself. “It’s not just us doing the looking,” she said. “It’s us being looked at.”

DeVeaux, who came up and out in the 1960s and 1970s, was taught the dichotomy of butch and femme as specific forms of lesbian desire and community, and also as coping mechanisms and strategic responses to homophobic attitudes in the McCarthy era. She knew those identities as “radical,” but also knew that queer masc and femme relationships weren’t equal to their heterosexual counterparts, while also not entirely different. During

Volume 10, Issue 3

the various rights movements of her time — Civil, Gay, Women’s — those identities resurfaced in a public way that formed the basis of a liberation front and gay agenda.

I’m convinced that we’re in another moment that will be remembered as a movement, an unprecedented period of time when everything we know about gender can be shifted and reshaped in the ways that suit us. “We are pushing the language [forward] and pushing against it” at the same time, she says.

“Once we become comfortable with [these terms], they become useless or they lose meaning, whether we understand it or not,” DeVeaux says. When queerness becomes more en vogue, danger encroaches.

“Capitalism will always appropriate the radical. It will not allow the new idea to survive — it has to eat it.”

The profitability and fungibility of queerness can give the impression that we’re in a post-queer world.

Time is loosening categories, ushered along by the kaleidoscope that social media offers into personal expression. Social media can also flatten categories and reduce them to their most anodyne selves, leaving little room for nuance. Additionally, there’s a cultural amnesia with every generation, a reminding that needs to happen: We still have the power and autonomy to shift these paradigms of language and ideas.

Jeffrey McCune, a professor of gender and sexuality studies at Washington University, tells me that he thinks the dominant femme discourse in contemporary culture has shifted to less of a static identity and more of an aesthetic one “that is trying to say something loudly to the public about being gendered in opposition to a larger masculine-

blackandpink.org

dominant culture.” McCune has observed a rise in femmeness among the gay male community, too — one that is forming alongside a Black femme identity, akin to the version of DeVeaux’s time, although each variation is taking on its own form. Femme, McCune told me, is a political gesture and creates intentional disruption in ways that expressions of femininity can unwittingly reinforce.

I can still remember a conversation I had with my sister after she came out.

“I’m a femme,” she said, drawing a dramatic Coca-Cola bottle shape in the air with her exquisitely bejeweled acrylics. “And I date butches.” I remember how stifled I felt dating someone who identified as a hard masculine-of-center lesbian. In oldschool terms, a “butch.” Though she deferred from that category herself, she liked femmes, and for me to present as one. My gender only existed in opposition to hers.

We fought over who got to wear the strap-on, and she preferred me in lingerie and grimaced when I came to bed in boxers. In defiance, I cut my hair short and skimped on makeup. A game of chicken with aesthetics. She seemed confused by my face even as she found relief in the reliability of my ass, a softness that was harder to disappear.

These gray areas are as familiar as the butch-femme binary. In a recent interview with Merrill Mushroom, author of a 1980s underground play called Bar Dykes, she talked about her observations of the fluidity of dynamics in the relationships of gay women in the ’60s and ’70s. “It has to do with one’s choice of theater in the way one presents oneself to the world, as well as how one feels on the inside … Butch is everything

Page 11

that’s not femme. And femme is everything that’s not butch,” she said. “Then there are degrees of each of those. Even the butchest butch has an element of femme in there. And the femmest femme has an element of butch.”

I’ve found femme to be an action verb, a practice, an alchemy. As my friend Tiffany Lee puts it in a piece for The Body Is Not an Apology, “Femme identities … transcend a simple preference for stereotypically feminine things.”

It’s a sensory experience, in both aesthetics and adornment.

Lavender fabric, pink nails, satin auras. Desire, pleasure, joy, leisure, and comfort are things that feel necessary — new types of coping mechanisms and survival strategies in lieu of a larger organized political movement that agrees on its next steps for a queer agenda. The root of the word “spell” is a narrative, implying our language is magic.

The act of naming is akin to the act of manifestation and control. And we need new spells for all the boygirls growing up right now. So let’s cast them together, shall we?

Words to know: “slid into my DMs” - slang for contacting someone via direct message on social media. podcast - is a program, usually in audio format, that can be downloaded and listened to by episode.

Page 12

April 2019

Black & Pink News

5 ways you can make your feminism more intersectional — because *every* woman matters artwork by Ashley Lukashevsky, courtesy of amplifier.org – We All Belong

By STEPHANIE HALLETT

HELLOGIGGLES.com May 1, 2017

In a world where police brutality toward African American women is on the rise and trans folks still face a disproportionately high rate of violence, intersectional feminism is more important than ever. If you’re unfamiliar with the term “intersectionality,” it was coined by scholar Kimberlé Crenshaw in a 1989 paper, and it’s the notion that oppressions intersect to create compounded, complex experiences of discrimination. In short, intersectional feminism recognizes that patriarchy affects all women differently, leaving some further behind in the dust than others.

As Crenshaw notes, she came up with the idea of intersectionality after recognizing that antidiscrimination laws tackle gender and race separately, meaning the overlapping oppressions faced by black women get left out of the legal landscape, leaving this group of women without full protection.

These days, intersectional feminism is everywhere, from film critiques to the lips of stars like Solange.

And we couldn’t be happier

about it—after all, intersectional feminism recognizes and values everyone’s complex humanity, and we need that right now.

Cox, America Ferrera, Janelle Monae, and Constance Wu. They live and breathe intersectional feminism.

If you’re new to the notion, no worries. Here are five easy ways to make your feminism more intersectional on a regular basis.

2. Believe Women

1. Listen More

Everyone’s experience of “womanhood”—or gender, period—is different, so listening when others share their ideas and experiences is critical to becoming a better ally and feminist. And, oh yeah, don’t interrupt when someone is speaking.

If you’re looking for some women to look up to, listen to Laverne

White feminism is often criticized for failing to acknowledge how gender issues impact women of color, working class women of all races, and others facing multiple forms of oppression. It tends to focus largely instead on the upperclass white woman’s experience, making it out to be a universal struggle.

As you’re listening more often, make the effort to actually believe the person sharing their story — don’t dismantle their arguments in your mind and try to undermine

Volume 10, Issue 3

blackandpink.org

Page 13

artwork by Ashley Lukashevsky, courtesy of amplifier.org – We Are Love

them by insisting your experience is more valid or true.

3. Use people’s preferred pronouns.

Misgendering someone is a painful and embarrassing experience.

Instead of assuming you know someone’s gender identity, ask them how they prefer to be addressed — and then actually use the correct pronouns.

4. If you make mistakes, be accountable.

Decentering your own experience and adopting an intersectional feminist politic is hard work, and it takes a lot of learning, stumbling, and growing. Don’t be afraid if

you make mistakes — we all do; we’re only human — but always be accountable and open to critique afterwards. That’s the only true way to move forward.

5. Ditch the ableist language.

The English language is vast and wide, and it offers an array of terms to describe your experiences — without using a disability or mental illness as the punchline. So instead of words like “r*” or “insane,” say “absurd” or “unbelievable,” and don’t use “anorexic” or “OCD” as descriptors. You don’t want to diminish someone’s experience, especially when they’ve

experienced enough prejudice from the outside world.

Living out a feminism that’s intersectional isn’t as hard as you might think. All it takes is a willingness to accept other women exactly the way they are, as well as a commitment to listen to them and their stories. The sooner we all realize that, the faster we can address the inequalities that all women face.

*writer used the “r-word”

Page 14

Black & Pink News

April 2019

Introduction to the 12 Zodiac Signs: From Aries to Pisces

By Molly Hall

THOUGHTCO.com February 27, 2018

Love is playful and fun.

Cancer: June 21—July 21

What’s your Zodiac Sign? You can find out with a free birth chart. If your Zodiac sign is on the cusp (between two signs), you’ll want to look closely at that year’s exact dates.

Water Sign: Emotional, absorbed in moods, cautious around new people, clingy, senses undercurrents, nurturing, keeper of family story, sensitive, hidden strength, pioneer of feeling. The Crab is irritable and throws temper tantrums. Cancer in Love is self-protective and nurturing.

Aries: March 21—April 21

Leo: July 21—Aug. 21

Fire Sign: Courageous, creative, spontaneous, a catalyst, forceful, an agitator, confrontational, a do-er, restless, lover of challenge, ardent, a fighter, dynamic, a leader. The Ram is brusque, aggressive and lacks subtlety. Aries in Love is a passionate fool.

Fire Sign: Smiley, proud, dignified, expressive, big-hearted, glamorous, regal air, ambitious, passionate, demands respect, lover of adventure and risk. The Lion is an egomaniac who steals the show. Leo in Love is regal and proud.

Taurus: April 21—May 21

Earth Sign: Fastidious, always seeking to purify, lover of routine, mechanical, sincere, conscientious, critical of self and others, kind, natural, skilled, precise, articulate.

The Virgin watches over your shoulder, and is a relentless critic.

Virgo in Love is sincere and discriminating.

Earth Sign: Goal-oriented, lover of possessions, sensuous, takes sweet time, patient, bull-headed (stubborn), skilled artisan, resonant voice, builder, beautifier, lover of creature comforts. The Bull is stubborn, stingy and prone to packing on the pounds. Taurus in Love is sensual and loyal.

Gemini: May 21—June 21

Air Sign: Curious, quick intellect, seeker of novelty, erratic, trendy, many sided, lackadaisical, scattered focus, adaptable, friendly, fun, a learner. The Twins is a sign of mercurial flip-flopping and and tricksterish behavior. Gemini in

Virgo: Aug. 21—Sept. 21

Libra: Sept. 21—Oct. 21

Air Sign: Stylish, lover of beauty and art, cultural, sophisticated, intellectual, social grace, talkative, diplomatic, a natural in relationship.

The Scales is a sign of evading confrontation, and codependency.

Libra in Love is a natural sounding board, with striking clarity.

Scorpio: Oct. 21—Nov. 21

Water Sign: Soulful, probing, driven, mesmerizing, secretive, profound, deep healer, drawn to what’s occulted (hidden), lover of mysteries, at home in underworld, intensely bonded in relationships, no stranger to dark emotions. The Scorpion has a sting, so watch out!

Scorpio in Love is secretive and intense.

Sagittarius: Nov. 21—Dec. 21

Fire Sign: Cheerful, athletic, a seeker, adventurer, world traveler, philosopher (lover of wisdom), refreshingly honest, dot connector, friend to all, enlivening. The Archer hits its mark, and is frank like that, to the point of hurting others.

Sagittarius in Love is philosophical and feisty.

Capricorn: Dec. 21—Jan. 21

Earth Sign: Resourceful, hardworking, master of material realm, persistent, pillar of society, seeks place in establishment, fixed on tangible results, strategizer, private (though with polished public image), a leader, authority, desires to leave enduring legacy. Capricorn in Love is earthy and status-minded.

Aquarius: Jan. 21—Feb. 21

Air Sign: Trendsetter, flaunts convention, quirky, accepting of all, detached friendliness, otherworldly glamour, humanitarian, tuned in, visionary. Aquarius in Love is unconventional.

Volume 10, Issue 3

blackandpink.org

Page 15

Pisces: Feb. 21—March 21

Water Sign: Enchanting, mystical, devoted, unreachable (lost child), undefined, lacking direction, slips away from anything ‘real,’ artistic, ethereal, victim, overwhelmed, sublime, expressing divine in art, music or dance. Pisces in Love is romantic and enchanting.

Were you born on a Cusp?

Cusps are accepted by some, and not by others. Either way, Cusps are a period of time between two signs as they transition. Sometimes people feel a sense of two signs mixing to create a better picture of their zodiac. You can read both of your cusp zodiac sign horoscopes, and possibly see where one might fail, the other balances it.

April Horoscope 2019

By Jessica Lanyadoo

lovelanyadoo.com April 1, 2019

to come back and fix later. No matter how busy and exciting your schedule is, honor your truest priorities in the here and now, Aries.

Aries

Taurus

April is a powerful time to look at what you need to let go of in order to leave room for what you truly want.

If you skip essential steps or try to take short cuts, you’ll only succeed in slowing down your overall progress by creating situations that you have

When you don’t appreciate the abundance in your life, the result is closer to hoarding than to riches.

The more you have, the more you have to lose. And the tighter you clutch onto what you’ve got, the more scarce it will feel. Apply faith and common sense to

your relationship to your material world, dear Taurus. Don’t convince yourself that you don’t have enough just because you want more, my love.

Gemini Strive to act in accordance with what’s true for you instead of trying to figure out the “right thing” to do.

April will confront you with mixed messages and confusing dynamics with others, which at times could make it feel like you’re spinning out.

There’s so much that is out of your control, and so it’s important that you remember that other people’s opinions and judgments are their own problem to manage, not yours.

Just do you, Twin Star.

Page 16

April 2019

Black & Pink News

Cancer

Libra

Capricorn

It’s easy to show up for others when you feel good about yourself, but so much harder when you’re scared or suffering. This month you’re likely to be confronted by discord, but it’s not for nothing. When upsets occur, treat them with kindness, empathy, and patience. Act in accordance with your integrity without abandoning your boundaries or needs for selfcare. In this way you can make compromises, but not in ways that compromise you, dear Moonchild.

On the 19th there will be the second Full Moon in your sign of 2019, and it’s really special. You are meant to be in your feels and have lots of stuff come up so that you can forgive and let go. You can’t change your past, but you can stop using it against yourself and deal with the present. Say what you have to say and honor what you feel; it’s time to stop waiting for others to manage your evolution, Libra.

Leo

Scorpio

In the wise words of Dolly Parton, “If your actions create a legacy that inspires others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more, then, you are an excellent leader.”

That said, when you take charge, you also run the risk of inspiring the ire of others, too. As opportunities that require both leadership and collaboration from you emerge, you have choices to make. Invite others into your process. You don’t need to prove your worth to others to earn their respect; just be yourself, Capricorn.

This isn’t the time to maintain the status quo or strive for stability; you are growing, and that will require at least some measure of unpredictability in your life for a while. In the words of Octavia Butler, “All that you touch, you change. All that you change, changes you. The only lasting truth is change.” Be open to what comes next without needing proof that it’s worth your time at every step of the way, Leo.

A Capricorn said it, but it’s your lesson to learn right now: When they go low, you go high, dear Scorpio. Don’t allow the misdeeds of others to inspire you to act in ways that compromise how you want to be in the world—no matter how messy things get. Stay true to yourself when it would be easiest to cut corners, or hide behind any kind of “they started it” thinking. Your side of the road is your only job this month.

If you’ve taken on too much in recent months, you’re likely to feel like things are both moving too fast and too slow at the same time. It’s time to learn this valuable lesson: You don’t need to move faster than your heart can bear. You’re coming to the end of a meaningful period of growth and as you move to the next level you’ve got to take time to nurture your feels.

Virgo

Sagittarius

Pisces

Your relationships are confusing and complicated, beautiful and deeply important. You’re likely to find yourself tempted to be extreme this month, but it’s not going to do you any favors, Virgo. Strive to find balanced ways of engaging with others at least in part by not taking things so personally when they’re clearly not about you. Lead with compassion, not precision and survive the messiness of intimate connection by keeping your side of the road clean, Virgo.

Don’t allow your circumstances to force your hand, Sagittarius.

Whether we’re talking about fated relationships or pre-destined dynamics, you always have free will within your situation. This month it may feel like the momentum in your life has shifted, and it’s upsetting your sense of equilibrium.

Strive to make choices that honor this moment as it is in the here and now. Make choices that reflect your intentions by first slowing down and getting centered, sweet Sadge.

It’s okay for you to do things at a pace that works for you, but it’s unlikely you’re going to get permission from anyone—you just have to trust yourself. Allow time and space to get comfortable with owning and integrating the changes you’ve made in recent months, Pisces. You don’t need to rush to share anything with the world right away. Learning to do things in a self-appropriate way is the key to not just being successful, but feeling successful, my love.

Aquarius

blackandpink.org

Volume 10, Issue 3

Page 17

Letters from Our Black & Pink Family Hello B&P family, First of al, I want to wish everyone peace, happiness, and love, it is these that we all are in dire need of. Two of the subjects in the July/August issues really struck home with me, it truly saddens and enrages me that these acts are allowed to happen, and confuses the hell out of me on why it has not been stopped. We here in arkansas are confined to the same Mandatory Supervised Release” system (although I am not aware of the arkansas name for it), I myself have seen many people forced to stay long after their Transfer/parole date has come and gone. As a so called “Sex offender” myself I worry that once I complete the sex offender’s class (R.S.V.P./ Reduction of Sexual Vicitmization Program) that the same will happen to me. The classes themselves are a joke, just one more thing for a financially unstable state to spend money on. Only one Half-way house in the entire state will accept sex offenders, but only a max. of 20 at any given time. Arkansas has a total of 18 state prisons, hundreds of sex offenders are trying to get out while thousands are waiting to get in! I’m sorta in a low place at the moment, I finally gathered the courage to inform my family about me being trans, my fears became reality. I’ve lost all contact with them since coming out, the loss has left me feeling hollowed out inside. I can’t even get this prison to recognize who I am, Mental Health refuses to talk about Gender Dysphoria, I’m consistantly denied any feminine affirming items (clothing, hygiene, hair products,

etc), they won’t even use proper feminine pronouns when addressing me. More nights than I care to admit I end up crying myself to sleep.

But regardless of the pain I’m put through I will not relent. I will not be told who I should be due to the ignorance of others, this is my life, my truth, and as such is not open for debate! Sorry all, sometimes I tend to flare, but I guess that can be good sometimes. I would appreciate any advice from anyone, general, legal, or personal. I must go, please know I send my love to all my B&P family, regardless of skin, gender, backgrounds, or sexuality.

a total commitment.” After another moment the cow asked “What shall we do?” The chicken said “Let’s give him the steak and eggs” so they did and the cow died.

Live long, love free, Blessed be

Elaine (AK)

I’m tell you a short story. There was a cow and a chicken walking through a village in Korea. As they was walking through the village a homeless man was sitting in their path so the cow and the chicken walked around him and continued on shortly until the chicken told to the cow to “stop”. The cow wanted to know what they was stopping for.

The chicken told the cow, “I feel bad because here we are doing well for ourselves and we just overlooked a homeless man who may not have eaten in days.” So the cow said to the chicken, “What do you suggest we do?” The chicken said, “I suggest we fix him a breakfast of steak and eggs.” After a moment went by, the cow said, “There is one problem with this idea. For you this is a small contribution, however for me this is

The moral of the story is if a man or woman want to stay out of prison they gotta be totally committed because influence, desires, and competition is the easiest way to get stuck in the system. Strong discipline and appreciation from what you got and how God kept them and will keep them on track even when you fall. God, prudence, wisdom and discipline is the way!!!

Brian P. (FL)

Dear Black and Pink, I am an incarcerated person serving a life sentence without the possibility of parole here in the state of Oklahoma - however, regardless of my current situation, I am hopefull as I do have a pending federal Habeas Corpus in the Northern District federal court (Tulsa, Oklahoma), fighting an illegal incarceration and the wrongfull conviction of an innocent man.

In the meantime I do try to remain as positive as possible, believing that, despite my misfortunes, my ability to stay positive and focused stems from the desire to be involved with others of good causes and promote positive thinking.

I have personally been locked up for 27 years -- not all at once -- and do believe that if given a chance to be heard, I would like to offer a voice

Page 18

of experience from beyond the fence -- having experienced many issues relating to the inner aspects of a persons mentality on both sides of the fence that stems from the grueling adversarial process and behavior of those with close minded opinions that wreaks havoc on those of us who are a little more optimistic.

Any information you have or can offer will be greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,

Michael H. (OK) Dear Black & Pink, I love your magazine and always look forward to its arrival each month.

I want to bring attention to the Oklahoma Department of Corrections and how some of the Transgender inmates are neglected by the system.

Oklahoma has an Operations Policy called “Management of Gender Nonconforming Inmates.”

This policy has a section called “Personal Identify Administrative Review Authority (P.I.A.R.A.)” for the so called purpose of ensuring adherence to the PREA standards. The Director of D.O.C. appoints designees to serve as the P.I.A.R.A. which consist of the Chief Mental Health Officer, Chief Medical Officer, Agency P.R.E.A. Coordinator, Director of Health Services, the inmate’s facility head or designee and/or Medical & Mental Health providers at a facility level.

This all sounds great until a

Black & Pink News

“Request for Health Services” form in order to be evaluated by “Mental Health” for Gender Dysphoria at the facility level.

Here at Core Civic Private Prison at Davis Correctional Facility in Holdenville, Oklahoma, games get played by the Medical Administration when a Request for Evaluation of Gender Dysphoria is received. It’s like the form disappears and no one from the Medical/Mental Health Department even responds. They seem to ignore the request... maybe hoping the inmate will just go away.

I have been at this facility for 20 years (since December 1998) and I do not know of any Transgender inmates on this yard receiving treatment.

We can’t even get diagnosed. Yet this policy, which looks good on paper, exists.

Then there’s the Grievance Process.

Full of impossible time restraints and loop-holes designed for the plaintiff to fail. You almost have to have a Ph.D. to file a Grievance properly in accordance with their Grievance Policy. Rarely are Grievances ever granted here. It’s always something that throws the Grievance out. Ya can’t win. It’s almost like they’re laughing at us.

And if we are ever lucky enough to get a case in court... well... I don’t how they would act at the D.O.C. Administrative level. I have never heard of a Transgender issue making it to court in Oklahoma... not that there hasn’t been any... I, nor anyone else here, has ever heard of one. If there has been one, authorities and everyone else are keeping a lid on it.

I am in the process now of fighting

April 2019

just to be diagnosed. I’m at the Grievance state now. I want to pursue this in the courts... I’m sure I’ll have to... until we can break thru the glass ceiling and Transgender inmates can get diagnosed and treated in Oklahoma D.O.C. like we are supposed to, and make the system stop playing games with us.

Another game, that gets played is the requirement that we must have already been diagnosed and receiving treatment before we came to prison. Some of us had been in prison since we were teenagers and never had the opportunity to be diagnosed and treated in the freeworld.

O.D.O.C. has a policy but no one in a position of authority is genuine about sincerely using it. They use it against us any way they can to avoid diagnosing and treating us.

If any can educate us here in Oklahoma’s prisons on how we can successfully put a stop to the games that get played on us please do so.

We, the Transgender community in Oklahoma’s prison system needs all the help we can get.

Thank you for hearing us.

Sincerely,

Charlotte L. (OK)

artwork courtesy of Shaun Silfer via justseeds. org

Volume 10, Issue 3

blackandpink.org

Dear B&P Family,

Dear Black and Pink Family..

Hello Everyone! It’s Starlette Skye here. I’ve written a few times before, but never seen anything posted. Tears... Anywho, I’ve written proclaiming such mixed up emotions concerning my gender identity. At one point I claimed Genderfluid as my label. At another I was closeted pre-trans. But I sat back and thought long and hard.

All you beautiful queens out there struggling each day because you don’t hide, are not trying to hear about someone “playing” around with a lifestyle you all take so seriously. I promise you all that I mean no harm. I’ve just had my own war within myself revolving around F.E.A.R. (False Enemy Appearing Real). I have finally decided that fear is the root to much of my depression. I have recently kicked open the closet and came out as the queen I truly am. The other inmates in my pod respected me more for being out, than in the closet. I came out of my cell with eyeliner (soot), eyeshadow (pastel), lip gloss (A&D), nail polish (floor wax & color pencils), cornrows, and medium pants to show off my phat ass. I laid down a law. Respect me & I’ll respect you. It went so well. I’ve been happily feminine ever since. I even got the urge up and called my Momma and came out to her. She said she would always love me no matter what.

This is Demiz3 and I recently found out I have been printed in the January 2018 issue. I first would like to say “Thank You” for making my letter a part of your very special forum. Second for spelling my name the way I do (very important to me).

Someone passed me a stack of B&P and he told me I am in the January Issue. Others told me, and they said they would send me a copy but never did. So I finally did get me a copy.

It really touched me to be among so many others with the same views and issues I go through everyday.

I have sent a few requests, but am still not on the mailing list. I have been on many searches to find a magazine or journal that touches on transgender issues. I found mostly porn stuff...I know I am more than that, we are more than that. Yet so many can’t see past that. I do get out and advocate, both very good but not as homeruns hitting like B&P.

I’m currently at work with Mental Health, trying to get HRT and Bra & Panties. My therapist diagnosed me with Gender Dysphoria. Everything is falling into place lovely. Well, I’ll stat in touch, but for now I close...

Starlette Skye S., (NC)

I have been gone for almost 18 years on a 3+38 years aggrevated robbery sentence. I went on a robbery spree with two friends and BB guns...They don’t believe me either...I came out in 2009 as who I am, a transgender woman. But i have only been on hormones for almost eight months, After a long three year battle with the medical system on getting them.

But in just these few months I can see and feel the difference and how I feel inside myself. I still have a wonderful support system from my family that has grown. It used to be my mom, niece, nephew, and daughter. Now God has blessed my life with bringing my older brother and sons back into my life. I also have a few I can still refer to as my “real friends” so I know even in the darkest time of my life I am not

Page 19

alone. And I want so bad to pass on the love that is given to me. I read in one of the past issues (volume 8 issue 5) that said anyone could start an inside chapter. I would really appreciate to be considered to be a part of this great opportunity. I don’t know if this is still an option or if there is already one in this unit (Beaumont, Texas). There are a lot of LGBTG issues in this facility and untold stories. I am currently in general population at this time, but as I get closer to seeing parole in 2023, I have been thinking of going to protected custody. So many years I had a fear of what others may think of me if I went to protected custody...that’s when i was weak.

But I’m tired, not a day goes by that someone does not degrade or speak down on who I am. It gets old being the scapegoat to the ones around me. I don’t expect it to be marshmallows and puffy clouds in protected custody, and I’m not one to run from my problems...I’m a face your fears kind of girl. i just think it’s time for me to find others like me. I live in a wing with 143 other people and I’m the only gril in this whole section. Now I’m starting to develope...it’s just getting harder on me.

I’m known in this unit as a positive straight up gal with a strict no drama policy. I’m quick to help others and I stand up to the bullies that try to take advantage of those who they think are weaker. I believe if you show someone they are worth fighting for, they will fight for themselves and when I say “fight” I do not mean with your hands.

Our minds are way more powerful.

I have learned to make allies with those in power, beit staff or inmates.

I also use my higher power (holy spirit) to lead me in the direction of

Page 20

where I should go.

I believe I am a positive outlet for other transgenders around me and would really like to be a part of not only our great movement, but also a part of this beautiful entity of Black and Pink.

I am about five classes till I complete my Dissociate of Arts Degree in academic studies, which means a lot to me because I could not read or write at a 2nd grade level when I first got locked up so many years ago. I did not only learn to read and write in here, I also learned what it meant to build real friendships and to see things for what they are and not what I want them to be. the word “Loyalty” is only as real as the person you place yours on. And some time we put to much hope on the next person to stand by your side even after you did it for them.

I do my best to use this time out to make plans on when I get out. I’m a a self-taught airbrush artist and even became the until artist. And I started a paint shop and had three other inmates work with me only to be stabbed in the back by them to get me kicked out...But that’s a story for another time.

I plan to start up a designer brand called Demiz3’s Inkstarz and do not only do airbrush work, but also tattoos which I am decent at (only original art pieces). I would love to share some of my art with others.

I know this went simply beyond a request letter. Just try and grasp that it’s not every day I find this hope and fire infront of me.

I’m currently in a four year relationship, my first time to love or

April 2019

Black & Pink News

be loved in this way...so big shout out to my puppy if this gets printed... fingers crossed. Him and his mother have been such a blessing for me.

The only reason I have not closed the deal on protected custody, but he supports me on whatever I chose.

This was longer than I thought, but I still have so much more to say and share. When i read B&P issue after issue, I could not help but be pulled in and some made me laugh, feel sad, and even angry. But most of all they made me feel normal, so no matter where this goes from here...Thank you my Black and Pink family...Nothing but love and respect!

Mario G. (TX)

Hey. This is Trouble. Hopefully all is well for all of you out there. Here is an update on me.

I spent 8 months in L.A. County (CA) jail fighting my juvenile life without parole. I lost. Torrance Superior Court is following the status quo of their predessors of the 90s by affirming their sentences.

With the passing of SB394 However I now have a board hearing 103-2020 and a Board Consultation hearing this month on the 17th to see what I need to maybe get a parole date in 2020. Sadly though I’ve been a consumate fuck up for almost 22 years straight. Mircles do happen right? I’ll keep my fingers crossed. You do the same. On April 2nd I got stabbed in the neck when this couple tried to jump me. After the initial stabbing they ran from me & wouldn’t engage me even though I didn’t have a weapon. I still got some licks in. Their attempts were sad and pathetic. I’m fine though.

I stayed on my feet and pressed the fight to them. I got out the hospital the very next day and immediately went back to the same yard and cell. No problems since. I was told I didn’t even get a “write up” while that went on they jumped on my friend who were connected to the couple. Hes fine too.

Ok now take care. I look forward to hearing from you.

With all my love & respect Sincerely & Respectfully

Trouble (CA)

Black and Pink, Hello My Dearest Family words can’t explain how much you all mean to me I (heart) U people. As I read my news letter I realize that’s all it took was one thought, one word, one action and all my pain and suffering was replaced with abundance of joy, hope and happiness. Every time I get a newsletter I smile my face off you all are so unique with so much drive and determination to make a change for the better of the LGBTQ community.

It’s been amazing wonderful things that’s been accomplished even in challenging situations due to the unity in the LGBTQ community. People we have work to do, and a fight for righteousness that need to be won.

We must never retreat but regroup and respond with unity and let the world know it’s our time, and we’re not backing down. The LGBTQ movement is real and we’re gonna make real changes for justice, freedom, prosperity and peace, Gay Rights affordable health care, Gun control laws, immigration. People

Volume 10, Issue 3

blackandpink.org

Page 21

Letters from Our Black & Pink Family we must be organized in order to change the country’s policies, so we must keep working hard and pushing forward so we can be a successful movement for all LABTQ across the world. And not just for our movement but for every movement Black Lives Matter Women Rights, Our Lives Matter, All Lives Matter To Us. All of us have a dream just as Martin Luther King Jr. his dream brought us together, now let our dream unite us as one. Hold your heads high it’s a beautiful Rainbow in the sky.

Sincerely Your’s

King B.R. 2 STAR (PA) DEAR RELATIVES: WASSUP BROTHER’S & SISTER’S? ITS ME DAMON AGAIN WRITING IN FROM OHIO. I JUST RECEIVED MY FEBRUARY/MARCH 2018 ISSUE OF BLACK & PINK THE OTHER DAY & I GOTTA GIVE THE STAFF AT BLACK & PINK THEIR PROPS 4 GIVING “US” A PLATFORM 2 EXERCISE OUR FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHTS OF FREEDOM OF SPEECH/ EXPRESSION. ITS ALMOST “IMPOSSIBLE” 4 US 2 SPEAK OUR MINDS WITHOUT BEING JUDGED AND/OR CRITICIZED SO I SAY “THANK YOU BLACK & PINK” (4 ALL OF US) 4 GIVING US THIS OPPORTUNITY. WE APPRECIATE IT. REAL TALK. O’ YEAH... THE “US” I’M REFERENCING TO IS THE LGBTQI COMMUNITY AS A COLLECTIVE WHOLE. ON

ANOTHER NOTE THOUGH...

AS FAR AS MY LIFE GOES...

WELL MY BROTHER’S AND SISTER’S... UNFORTUNATELY, MY SECURITY STATUS HAS CHANGED FROM GENERAL POPULATION 2 ERH1.

SMH. THIS IS DUE TO THE CORRUPT & VINDICTIVE WAYS OF THESE OHIO PRISON GUARDS BUT I STILL HAVE MY STRENGTH & JOYFUL SPIRIT NONE-THE-LESS. ITS COMMON KNOWLEDGE THAT PRISON WAS & IS DESIGNED TO “BREAK & HUMILIATE NOT REHABILITATE” SO I WANNA REMIND ALL MY FAMILIAL TO KEEP YA’LLS HEADS UP & REMAIN “FOCUSED” ON WHAT MAKES YOU/YA’LL “HAPPY.” THATS THE ONLY WAY WE’LL BE ABLE 2 GET THROUGH THESE TRYING TIMES. DON’T LET THE OPPRESSOR STEAL YOUR JOY NOR IDENTITY. I KNOW IN A LOT OF WAYS THAT’S EASIER SAID THAN DONE BUT AT THE END OF EVERYDAY WHEN THE REST OF THE WORLD KICKS US WHOLE WE’RE DOWN & LEAVES US HANGING OUR BLACK & PINK FAMILY IS ALWAYS WITH US/FOR US ALLOW THAT THOUGHT ALONE 2 BE YOUR SUNSHINE IF YOU HAVE NOTHING ELSE 2 GRASPS & HOLD ON 2. PUT DIFFERENTLY... BLACK & PINK BELIEVES IN US SO YOU SHOULD BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AS WELL. I’M KIND OF GOING THROUGH SOME STUFF MYSELF BUT I’M

ALSO TRYING MY HARDEST 2 MAKE THE BEST OUT OF A BAD SITUATION. MY DAYS USUALLY CONSISTS OF ALOT OF READING, ALOT OF WRITING, ALOT OF THINKING AND SOME WORKING OUT. BEING TAHT I’M CONFINED 23 & 1 IT’S PRACTICALLY “MANDATORY” THAT I KEEP BUSY. A WISE MAN ONCE TOLD ME THAT “AN IDLE MIND IS THE DEVIL’S PLAYGROUND” SO TO AVOID ALL THE TRIVIAL STUFF... I’M CONSTANTLY ON MY GRIND. TRYING TO BETTER MYSELF/ MY SITUATION & HOPING THAT ONCE I’M RELEASED...

I’M ABLE TO 2 MAKE THAT TRANSITION 2 SOCIETY WITHOUT HAVING TO WALK THROUGH THAT REVOLVING DOOR OF RECIDIVISM. HOPEFULLY, THE FAMILY/ COMMUNITY CAN LATCH ON 2 MY WORDS & BE ENCOURAGED BY THEM. I KNOW I’M CONSTANTLY BEING ENCOURAGED BY BLACK & PINK. I’M ‘BOUT 2 PUT THIS IN THE MAILBOX BUT B4 I DO I WOULD LIKE TO THANK EVERYONE IN THE BLACK & PINK HEADQUARTERS 4 DOING A GREAT JOB ON THE NEWSLETTER & ALL OF THE ACTIVIST WORK & LASTLY I WANT 2 TELL MY BROTHER K.J.R. (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE) THANK YOU 4 JUST ALWAYS KEEPING MY BEST INTEREST AT HEART. WE ARE MOST DEFINITELY OUR BROTHER’S KEEPER &

Page 22

HAVE BEEN FOR OVER TWO DECADES NOW. I LOVE YOU BRUH. I WON’T BE WRITING ANY MORE LETTERS TO BLACK & PINK FOR A WHILE NOW BUT I HOPE THIS ONE DOES GET PRINTED. TIL NEXT TIME THOUGH... LOVE WHO YOU ARE & LOVE WHAT YOU DO. YOURS TRULY, ME... DAMON (OH) Dear Dominique, Good evening!

I first would like to congratulate you on becoming the national Director of Black & Pink. I believe having someone who could relate to much of what many of us suffer through, As you mentioned the lost of family while behind these walls of oppression, readjusting to the new world once released and those things you haven’t experienced personally I’m sure you’ve witnessed family members of the LGBTQ go through other issues we’ve all complained about. I guess in a lot of ways I’m blessed but in others cursed.

Because while I’m greatly affected by the oppressive and tyrannical treatment most trans women in these concentration camps seem to be going through regularly from both prisoners and guards, where as I feel like prisoners should stick together regardless of gender, class or race; it all feels so helpless. I remember before I really stopped caring about what others thought and imagery, I had a friend who was a trans woman and a dude try to cut her face because she ain’t want to mess with

April 2019

Black & Pink News

him. Now she ain’t tell me to do nothing or ask but because she was scared and I ain’t like the situation I went and got a ice pick and waited for dude with her like she was my girl. Hoping he’d say something.

Needless to say he ain’t say nothing to me or her but to a 3rd party and to rid the problem I ended up doing the deed. Got away but later ended up running for refusing a pat frisk while getting rid of the thing, so went to the Box. And dude kept his mouth shut and left my friend alone. Program was I wasn’t ready to embrace the fact that I was into trans women & extremely feminine looking boysI had and have never been with one, and being born in the Middle East to conservative Muslim parents I just figured it was nothing.

But as time went on and I thought over it intellectually I realized I really would prefer to date a trans woman. The reason I say I’m cursed is because by all standards I’ve been told I’m a good looking guy, Mahogany complexed, almond shaped/chinky eyes, high cheek bones, shoulder length wavy thick hair, 5’8”, 200 lbs of solid muscles, I do a navy seal work out 3x a day in addition to martial arts and chi gong. Besides all this I’m extremely smart, politically conscious, speak 3 languages as well as read all 3. The down side is woman are constantly coming at me even nurses & other staff, but I’m not a user and genuinely have no interest and on the other hand I can’t seem to find me an available trans woman to connect with and you guys haven’t had a pen pal form in the Black & Pink for a while now. Additionally, I’ve tried on several occasions to places to contain letters and have seen none of them published.

Michael N (NY)

Dear Black and Pink family, Hello to all my strong brothers and sisters. This is Mike in PA. I’m a 50 year old white gay man.

I’ve been out since I was 19, long before I was incarcerated. I’ve always been active in the LGBTQ community. Marched on the Capital in DC, Pride fests, AIDS walks, you name it. So Black and Pink was a perfect fit for me when I discovered it in 2013. I love it and look forward to reading each issue.

I especially love reading all your letters and poems. You all inspire me so much with your stories of courage in the face of adversity.

I like writing poems myself. You might see one by me if you look!

To everyone involved in this fantastic family, from our nowdirector Dominique, to all the free world volunteers, to all of you members. THANK YOU! Thank you for your strength and beauty.

Thank you for sharing and for listening. But most of all, thank you for uniting, for believing! Believing that we CAN win. Once there were no prisons. That day will come again.

I love you all. Stay strong.

Much love, MIKE (PA) Dear Black & Pink...

This is my first time wrighting... I am here in Florence, AZ... I been here sence Aug 2017...within the eight to nine months I have been in prison, I have been assaulted, put down, degrated, etc. the most know how it is... Well everyone knows...

I am 28 gonna be 29 on the 21 this

Volume 10, Issue 3

month... I am a gay male. roughly 125 lbs and am 5’4” tall... my faith is Christian.. also I hapen to be Native American... that is I am 1/2 Navajo and 1/2 Apache.

As this is my first time down, and yes it’s a lot different from being in a county ficility... tho yes, at first my people/race were kind... yet I knew it might not last and was proven right... I have been assaulted and bounced around from yard to yard... Ither for stupid unproved rumors or well just on account of my orentatioin but I still plan on ignoring them hell as best I can too. on account I am not one easly to give up as I’ve been a fighter most of my life... Begening in elementry and continue to this day...

A friend of mine handed me a Black & Pink magazine and as I turned the pages a new fire was kindald within me... seeing other brothers & sisters/family were out there and knew the things were going threw while incarcerated... I wanted to say thanks and to thos still in here keep your head up...

blackandpink.org

talk (hangout), without something sexual added. Therefor, I feel lonely up in here. No letters from anyone from the outside to assure my that everything will be fine. I don’t feel loved, desired, or respected.

I’ve been cut in the face, because I hangout with gays. What people don’t understand about me, is that I am in love with both sexes (Male and Female). I am very open minded in that aspect of my sexuality.

When I were free to roam the planet, I indulged in relationships with both Males and Females. However, most of these relationships resulted in more relations, than relationships.

Therefore, reading your newsletters helps me to fill the void in my life.

In closing, I want to thank you (my family) for your support. Please, continue doing what you all do.

Likewise, you all have my support.

Thank you so much for your time!

With love,

Etavius! (FL)

Page 23

Greetings Dominique, I’d like to start by saying congradulations to your new position. I’ve done my best in the past 4 years to keep B n P updated with all the events which transpire here in Montana. To no advial does it seem to appear that B n P wishes to stay in touch or want to publish any of our stuff. I just don’t understand why none of our letters, poems, etc. never make it into the B n P general newsletter.

I’m of hopes that under new director Dominique this will change.

Resent events. After 23 years of INCARCERATION our brother “Tex” Freddie Joe Lawrence has been exonorated of his unjust and wrongful imprisonment. Texas was incarcerated for murder which he DID NOT COMMIT! In his time here at (MSP) Montana State Prison Tex and I were two primary individuals who’s been harrassed, demeaned and ridiculed by the prison employees, the top

Love always Leighton T (AZ)

I am a fifty (50) year old, dark skinned, bisexual male, serving a natural life sentence here in the Florida Department of Corrections.

Thus far, I am fifteen (15) years into my incarceration. However, I have been a bisexual male since I were a teenager.

It isn’t easy being a bisexual male in prison. No one wants to sit and just

Artwork by Mario W. (GA)

Dear Black & Pink Family Members,

Page 24

heads of both MSP and DOC administrations based on our OPENESS of being homosexual (gay) offenders.

Since June 6, 2008: Tex and I have been fighting to get our rights recognized and noticed by staff.

We’ve tried to start up support groups and other rights to be implemented here at MSP. In that time we were classified and deemed “A-typical” sexual predators.

We’ve been labled and ridiculed, solely due to our fight for our legal rights.

In doing so, we’ve gone through a lot of stuff but in doing so some how we always come back together in population and in our quest for EQUAL RIGHTS. In July 2017 after a 3 year drawn out court case I made headway and the falsified classification labling me as “A-typical” was recanted by our new warden: Michael Fletcher and I was allowed to enter and be housed in the “lowside” (minimum and medium custody) compound opposed to the close custody and maximum custody side.

In December/January I met another offender “Bub” who’s become my new hope and new meaning giving me purpose to live life. I’ve been doing time since February 12, 1999.

And in the 19 years 16 of them I’ve been a very strong GAY RIGHTS ADVOCATE! I’ve now got a new life force leading my journey. I am doing life with parole; but in the past 19 years just going through motions. Now with meaning Bub, I and others have filed to exercise our rights as LGBTQs to marry and engage in loving consenting sexual relationships with

April 2019

Black & Pink News

other offenders; which would (will) give Bub and I the right to marry and live together. It’s not going to be easy however in Jan 2018 we started our 1st ever organized and staff sponsored LGBTQ team group meetings.

Now that Fred (“Tex”) is out, we Bub, I, Ben and a few others would like to be able to set up and organize a Black n Pink chapter both here at MSP and in Missoula, Montana and get Montana advanced into the 21st century. Would you please send me what paperwork must be completed to become an organized chapter?

We will need our stuff to go out nationwide so we can get all the LGBTQ advocates this side of the Continental Divide to come to Deer Lodge, Montana to Montana State Prison and begin to picket and advocate for us. Bub, Ben and I wan to PAINT DEER LODGE, MONTANA IN RAINBOW COLORS. We have a month to June 2018 and as a dedication in MEMORY OF ORLANDO, we want the streets of Deer Lodge, MT painted in RAINBOW COLORS. What an honorable memory then to begin a NEW Black n Pink chapter in the loving memory of those who lost their lives in Orlando.

Please we beg of you, come see us, come interview us. Come one, come all and let’s paint Deer Lodge, MT RAINBOW! Respectfully yours,

Jeffery L. (MT)

Hello everyone, I would like to start off by saying I love all you and your letters have touched me very deeply. I just got done reading the recent issue of Black and Pink and seriously I cried. Why? because I am hurting for all my Brothers and SIster in the LGBTQ family. I know how a lot of you feel and I can only say, be proud of who you are. If your family and friends love you, they will except you for who you are.

I am currently incarcerated in the MDOC (Mich) and have been since I was 18. I am now 45 yrs young.

I look like I’m in my early 30’s.

Anyways, I know the struggle that each and everyone of you go through. I’ve been there. Keep your head held high. We are in this together and I am here to help any way I can, I have had Christians tell me that my life style is not of God. I tell them God doesn’t make a mistake.

I am a living, breathing person who has dreams, goals, and feelings. I am somebody. Yrs ago, I couldn’t say that I was so insecure and worried about what people thought and said about me. Then I woke up and realized that I am someone special and that I have a voice.

We all do..w.Society is scared of people like us because they can’t understand us. We are Enigmas to them.

Keep your heads high, be strong, and lift your voice. But most of all, do everything with love.

Yours in solidarity,

Cassie (MI)

Volume 10, Issue 3

Life Inside Kentucky Department of Corrections Prison Instruction as an LGBTQ Offender Hi my name is Jada aka Timothy, writing about life experiences inside Kentucky Department of Corrections Institutions as a LGBTQ member. Im a black, 31 years old transgender serving 20 years on Rob one. I been incarcerated since 2005 Febuary. Im 6’0 and 198 lbs.

Im a very sweet, passional and openminded person. I love having relationships with white guys.

Life Inside: I was committee to the (KDOC) in Aug, 2007 to serve 85% of my 20 yrs imprisonment. I was intialy placed at Kentucky State Penitentiary, there I was placed on (ACU) which is alternative housing beyound your imposed discplinary time. I became curious of same sex relationship and thats when I met my first boyfriend they call “Ray”.. In 2009 while I was having inside rec on the walk with 19 other inmates I was sexually assaulted by a inmate they call “G-Ball”.. A officer was watching this very day and observed the incident. We both was placed on lock down the remainer of the day.

The next morning I was transfered to T Cell House which is a maximal assault status segergation. Internal Affairs cam to Question me. They stated to me “What do we have to do to drop this issue”? I told them I just never want to be around that inmate again.. A administrative conflict was filed. In June 2010 I was placed in Special Custody Unit until December 2014.

In October 30, 2014 I was approached by a group of inmates on (KSP_ yard and threaten with a knife because my then boyfriend (N.H.) owed for drugs. In November, 2014 Internal

blackandpink.org

Page 25

Affairs again intervened and had us both moved me to Easteren Ky. Correctional Complex.. Again I experience sexual abuse by inmates who was related to the inmates involed in the “knife situation” at (K.S.P.) on Jamuary 24, 2015 I was transfered to Green River Correctional Complex. There I became friends with a transgender name “Harmony”.. She explain all there was to know about transgender and hormone treatment. I always wanted to be a women, I used to walk around the house wearing my sister’s cloths and shoe’s even undergarments. When my hair was long I would have my sister braid weave into my hair.

is that we ace envey by all the female staff. They see us stumping around the compound with our make-up on, face done up, hair on point, cloths so fly, and acting so femminit while they looking all “cheap and busted” “fat and sloppy” and on top of that see that even the male staff given us so much attention. They hate it and they sit back and plot on how to fuck with us, or how to take our cloths from us and better yet how to get us transfered.. Keep your smiles (LGBTQ)

This took a turn on my life. In prison in Kentucky its all about competition with other “sissy” as we as called.

Who looks better, dress better, has tha biggiest ass, what tha boys like the most. This put me in the phase of requesting hormone treatment. First couple times I was denied by the T-LOC Committee, but then it was in my favor. The treatment provided by mental health is a hormone that decrease male body hair growth, increase the butt size, developes female breast, and gives male a high pitch voice, most are reversible.. I was thinking ya im tha shit now. I would make female undergarment such as panties, thongs etc and I would get the tightiest pants and alter them so that they would fit just like they would on a female.. When you see me my pants would be fitted directly between my butt line with my thongs showing. If you wasn’t gay already you was deft gay by the end of the day watching me it was inevitiable.

Sending all my love and keeping it real! Stay true-get money! I love and I need you! So keep ya head up! Don’t worry cry now and later!

Looking at you kid! Doves cry!

Loves die! Never till da end! so get money! Got game! it’s still the same! Got time ! got game! it’s still the same! Got time and money! got the looks and got honies! So don’t hate! play da game! Botcrazy shout up it’s me! But time! Nickels and dimes! love and respect! Silly you it’s chilly willy! Please don’t cry!

Spend time! it’s my hood! looking shiney and new! Love bites! sike never alike! see ya and don’t be ya!!!

Envey: The funniest thing about being a transgender in the (K.D.O.C.)

10-9-18 Love Jada (KY)

“Boycrazy”

Raul G. (TX)

Page 26

“””A Must 5-24-2018

Black & Pink News

Read

Update””

LGBTQ Family Members, In response to my sister Huneey P., you asked to be laced up about the 3g and aggravated charge update on the law titled “”House Bill 2120.”” “”House Bill 2120”” if and when it goes into effect, would be retroactive on all accounts except capital offenses that have “”Life without the possibility.””

Now that we have Greg Abbot instead of Rick Perry, we might see some light shed on our situations.

All it would basically mean is we would have to do 1/3 of our time instead of 50%. Nonviolent offenders are eligible after their flat time and work time equals 1/4 of their time credits. We would be on the same parole requirements essentially as our flat time and work time equals our 1/3 mark. (Yes, we would be getting work time, good time finally).

Here’s the thing sis, peep game. Last year it went to the Senate and passed on a vote something like 41 to 32.

With that being said, all we needed was the Governor’s signature. That was Rick Perry. Basically it got shot down. Good news. Every two years it’s back on the Governor’s desk awaiting a signature so let’s just pray when it comes up in 2019.

Anyway, here’s what my family found online. Each section: can be Googled as well to bring up every relevant piece of information.

Somebody told me about this and I didn’t for one second believe it until I had it sent in to me. Believe it.

To all my family members going through it, I feel your pain trust me. Suicide is not the way. Think, if you’re in pain and hurting, why take your life? Persevere, tell others what you’re going through in life, write a book about it. The people at www.CreateSpace.com help you to publish your book and e-book online, with cover art, designs, editing, and marketing. You pay nothing. Everything is based on a royalty system meaning a 70/30 exist in payment. Every book sold you earn 70% of the money. Everything is done through Amazon. Talk about your struggle, don’t make others cry because you took your life. Think of a chain, you’re a link, I am too. We can pull through this, hold my hand.

I love each and every one of you, no matter your skin color, preference, or your struggle. Let’s heal each other.

Always and Forever,

“

Robbie M. (TX)

To Black and Pink, Hello faith and Believe.

Well, you don’t know me they called me “who” only because my mother didn’t know my father name. I am gay. I love the way a man move. I like in St Louis where no one want to live in. I drive truck and fork lift for a living and when I don’t have anything to do I am at home with my lady friend. I am afraid what my family might think just came out the closet but I have god on my side.

By the way do you know any church’s that will accept gay man in they church and will support my need of service please.

Cornell R. (MO)

April 2019

Hello Family and Friends, I received the gift of Black and Pink tonight and I can’t help but feel uplifted and inspired by everyone.

Be assured that your letters of encouragement do touch hearts and do make a difference.

My name is Isaiah Morsette and I am in Montana State Prison. There’s so much I could say about this place but instead I pray for understanding.

Things will get better.

So, I wanted to thank everyone for writing because reading everyone’s letters have been the brightest star in my sky as I contemplate whether life is worth living. I’m tired of being alone. I have doubts if I’ll ever find someone who will love me for me. I get really unsure of everything because I find women are attracted to me, but I’m gay, and that makes for a lonely world. But I’m not alone and I thank Black and Pink for showing that.

There’s a lot of people that have parents that refuse to accept our decisions. There’s a lot of people that were sexually abused as children. There’s a lot of people that feel isolated and alone. There’s a lot of people that are getting released eventually and have to start over with nothing and there’s a lot of people whose hearts hurt, literally, with a deep desire to feel love.

Thank you for this Black and Pink family who’ve renewed my desire to live and opened my eyes to a shared struggle. Thank you for showing me that I’m not alone.

There are a few specific “thankyou’s” I would like to extend if you’d allow. Thank you to Tori

Volume 10, Issue 3

Lynn and Cherry Lynn in Arizona for sharing your story. Thank you Dharma Dave for sharing a great letter reminding us that even if you don’t have a lot of money, you always have kindness to give.

Thank you to Patrick in South Dakota for sharing the real issues faced in South Dakota. I have been trying to get transferred to South Dakota and may be there soon.

Thank you Jamie in Arkansas. I too feel the great love and acceptance by this Black and Pink family.

We’ve both hit the jackpot here.

Keep being you Jamie.

Thank you to Eva in Kern Valley for your letter which touched my heart.

Your struggle is a tough one but I hope you know that you’re being prayed for.

blackandpink.org

gets printed. I haven’t always had the courage to just be like “yeah, I like men and woman,” but as I got older I discern that people are going to hate on us for being who we really meant to be and not pretending who we like to become.

Hopefully, these words can and will resonate with someone and aptitude to just do them.

We the LGBTQ community are a beautiful and constant dynamic.

The wiccah saying is “to give and receive unconditional love.” I will be getting released in 2030 but I plan to staying loyal to the Black

Page 27

& Pink family. I also wanna give a shout out to Chris Russell for introducing me to this lifestyle and just wanted you to know I still got love for you cause you was the first in my life. To the rest of the family, hang in there time will get better as long you put your faith in the God and Goddess hands. you will come out better than ever and don’t let nobody hold you back from doing you. Well, I’m out but I hope to see this letter in the pages of Black & Pink someday.

Blessed Be,

Donnie (TN)

Lastly, thank you B&P for drawing us together as we experience a full range of emotional struggles.

God bless.

-Isaiah (MT) Dear Black & Pink, Wassup family?

My name is Donnie and im currently doing time in Tennessee. I’ve been receiving the newsletter for about 4 months and each time it comes I read it from cover 2 cover. When I get done reading the newsletter I feel “emancipate” but also happy. I feel that way because some people like me are aware of the same things I see.

I wrote y’all about two or three months ago with a letter about myself and it never got printed. I still look for it in the newsletters to no avail. So I decided to write another letter hoping that this one

Artwork by Kendrick Keshon J. (GA)

Page 28

Dear Brothers & Sisters, Greetings! My name is Eric AKA Aelia and I am a trans woman incarcerated in Ohio. This is my first time writing. I got my first issue of Black & Pink and loved all your letters. Some of them brought tears to my eyes because of how close they come to my own life.

I came out to my mom just last year and it was a disaster, to say the least.

I’m now waiting to hear what my sister thinks as I just wrote and told her right after Christmas. Will keep you all posted on that. So far I have 3 very amazing women in my life that are supporting me.

The support that trans people get in the system here is almost nonexistent. In order to get hormone treatment, you have to have been getting it on the streets first. They do no surgery or anything else that they feel is considered “cosmetic” in nature. The mental health help we get consists of speaking with a case worker or going on meds. It’s really all a joke.

Thank you all very much for your encouragement.

Much love,

Aelia (OH) Hey B&P Family, My name is Kelly L., well at least it will be legally after court. I also go by Sakinah; the ‘i’ is pronounced like the letter ‘e’ in the word ‘be’. I’ll be 31 this month on the 27th... She don’t tell anyone, so shhh. People I love ya; this girl looks forward to her magazine. Just wish she had a regular (non-pig) straight or bi-

April 2019

Black & Pink News

sexual or transgender male writing me. Don’t need money or anything like that; girl got hers. Mmmmm... one can wish. I’m what’s considered short on jail time.

Anyway again love ya all. Loved the “6 Things Every Man Who Dates Trans Women Needs To Know” by Kai Cheng Thom. All like totally 100%, Unless I was lied to, again here at JTUCC, I will be getting out of this prison of another sex via sex reassignment surgery, jibs and adam’s apple modified, brow lift, dermabrasion, electrolysis/ laser permanent hair removal, spironolactone, estrogen intramuscular injections of course, female clothing, and NAIR in meantime. Not withdrawing my grievance though, they lie too much and I’ve been in harm’s way or harmed in more ways than one by inmates and staff with nothing done.

So, much hate crime. I pray I don’t become another statistic, but I can’t live in fear.

To sum up what I’ve learned from others (I can’t take credit) and experiences, I have this hung up in my room: “We tend to, at some point, feel a why me, why me? It’s not just you, it’s those you allow in. Those you probably shouldn’t have. And you must also master to let people go when needed. If people won’t accept you or respect you, the truth is they don’t love themselves. You owe an explanation to no-one. finally, the concept of “normal” is an absolute complete and utter delusion causing a root of horror and hate, which is wrong.”

Much Luv,

Kelly L. (DE)

Hi, This is my first time writing to Black and Pink. My name is Aundrey, but everyone calls me “Dre.” I’m 42 years old, I been lock up for 8 years now, I’m doing 20 years. This time is hard, but I try to stay strong in this place, but it’s so hard. the C/O’s is always messing with you about nothing. You don’t got to do crap.

But all I do is pray and ask god to help me through this madness, but beside that I want to say to every body in B-P that I love you all. I read everybody stories and some of the stuff that I read is sad, some is crazy, some make you feel good inside, and I love reading them all.

And I want to say to Howard Daniel, that I feel everything you is saying and my heart goes out to you, I hope you read this. I want to say to you all that I love you all and stay strong.

We will make it together <3

Audrey (OH)

PS Dre get at me. One love.

Dear Black and Pink Family, This is Daniel from the lonely state of Georgia. I say lonely for 3 reasons: 1. on looking through the 4 issues I’ve received (that’s right, I’m just a baby in the B+P family) I’ve only seen one submission from the “glorious” state of Georgia.

2. I know in other states they can or could this may have changed for some of y’all as well, for not being able to write to other prisoners, so I am limited to pen pals outside these fences, which comes to a total of 0 pen pals so I ask here to my Brothers and Sisters both in and out to think about Daniel Sanders.

3. I’ll admit this might be on me

Volume 10, Issue 3

but as for at least myself I’m not into mixed-relationships and as I’m a white 47 year old in that aspect I don’t see myself changing. But I do want to say Hey to all of y’all!

Smiles to All, Daniel (GA) Hello to the LGBTQ!, This is ya girl Lois girl Lane. I am a 31 year old black Tranny. Buried as a diamond in the rough. I’ve been incarcerated for 8 years on a 20 year sentence, on a crime I didn’t commit. See or Google Docket no: 302,365 State of Louisiana Vs. Gregory Harrell. Since I’ve been gone everyone has eventually faded away. I was Habitual offender Billed for standing up for what was right, my innocent protest. I’ve been punished since then, from jail to jail.

I know y’all Queens who are aware out there know what I’m talking about. You gotta really watch yourself these days.

over 400 dollars worth of jail house items for the struggle, and thats all real talk right there.

Y’all stay up.

Boss Queens!

Darkness and loneliness fill my cell, with pain and fear to great to yell, I wait for the mailman to deliver to me, as I wipe away tears that no one can see. I pray so sincere with head raised above, please God, soon send a letter of love.I long to gaze upon pages so dear, with riches to bring my loved ones near. Words of diamonds on pages of gold, a message from heaven as their story is told. We love you, miss you, pray you’ll be set free. A treasure filled envelope just for me. Please bring memories of joy I once knew. Family, friends, and things I would just do.

The darkness and pain of my cell

Page 29

will prevail as my name, again was not called for any mail.

-George W. (aka Steffanie), MA (I’m a transgender male, was female, got surgery at Trinidad, co. in 1970.

To my Black and Pink Family: I first want to give a shout out to my loyal pen-pals Theo and Nicola, ya’ll have showed me some real loyalty and dedication, ya’ll have been steady in my life since ya’ll first started writing and never wavered.

The rest of you...you know who you are, unify & solidarity isn’t writing me once or twice promising me ya’ll always “be here,” then stop writing for months? How is that solidarity? I feel like I’m some kind of experiment or test to show people you did write a prisoner? That’s not

artwork courtesy of Claude Moller via justseeds.org

I’ve opened the eyes of so many people, and I’m still goin it daily. I see how the Harlot is played now.

And now I know what it feels like to be a scape goat of the system.

Everywhere people are going through matrix like effects in society. All my LGBTQ community, just hold on a little while longer.

I’m on my way. They are trying to keep me silenced and cut off, but I will remain strong, I promise y’all. Thank y’all at Black & Pink for providing the platform for the girls to have at least some kind of voice in this messed up world. If they punishing y’all for doing the right shit, then stay strong, I’ve been bounced to 13 jails and lost

blackandpink.org

Page 30

Black & Pink News

April 2019

die before the corrective action is taken? How is this supposed to be a drug-free environment when dozens of people are dying in this so called “drug-free facility?” Explain that, my own cousin just died from this drug called (K2), RIP lightbulb, I’ll remember you always, you were a really good person & helped many people. It’s gotten personal with me now because one of my family members died, and I’m pissed now.

The warden’s job is to detect and prevent drugs from coming into this facility, but he is not doing his job. Obviously! How is Warden Andrews at the east Arkansas regional unit justifying all of these 62 deaths? What is his explanation?

Can someone find out? Will anyone find out? And why haven’t these 62 deaths all been exposed to the public record? On news media services? Drugs are killing people in the E.A.R.U. facility when this should never have happened in the first place.

artwork by Derek J. (NJ)

cool or fair to the person struggling in solidarity with little hope left, to come into the realm of someone’s life then stepping out isn’t fair to the prisoner, making the decision to become someone’s pen-pal and getting that person attached to you then just walk away from them is cruel and so not fair (that’s to all of the volunteers at Black & Pink), some of ya’ll are hurting people and leaving scars. That’s not okay.

But to the other volunteers actually helping + staying dedicated + real to ya’ll’s pen-pals, ya’ll are some

needed and appreciated people, thank ya’ll so much!

To Jason for creating this LGBTQIA+ newsletter you are a blessing to thousands and one day I truly want to meet the person with that golden heart. I admire you for this movement, you’ve come a very long ways (hugs!), update about the Arkansas department of corrections, there is this (K2) epidemic in the ADC in Arkansas, this year alone 62 inmates have died due to K2.

How many more people have to

Does the federal government know that? I hope these words get read by the right volunteers that will write letters to Warden Andrews demanding an explanation and contact Wendy Kelly in Pinebluff, AR (the director of the ADC).

We need help here people, please come to our rescue. I’m crying out to my Black and Pink Family, I feel so hopeless here. Because people are still dying. This is cruel, and inhumane, and very unconstitutional. By the way, this is Miss Venus again from Arkansas.

I’m truly trapped in a death trap, just watching people die, and can’t do anything but try to speak out through letters to my B&P family and hopefully, someone, somewhere will contact the right people to truly, finally get help from this deadly

blackandpink.org

Volume 10, Issue 3

drug, plus I am struggling through this incompetent classification committee. They are failing to acknowledge that I’m transgender (female) and continue to harass me by calling me a man. I’ve told these people numerous times and they just laugh and refer me for Psyche evaluation and they say that I’m crazy. Is that fair and just or an injustice? Can and will anyone help me through these struggles? This is also to all of you feeling banished and locked own in solitary because of who you are, I’m thinking about all of you, you are not alone, and I love all of you. We are in this fight together.

I’ve been in solitary for almost 8 years, keep your head up and the haters hating. Let’s fight with our hearts because love rules all things.

Your sister in the struggle.

Miss Venus W. B. (AK)

Okay, so this will be my first submission upon many within the next few months. My name is Timothy, AKA Stix, I’m 26 years old, openly bisexual and am 100% content with the person I am.

When I was 6 years old I was taken from my family for abuse, neglect, being malnourished upon many other ill inhumane conditions that the department of children & families saw as completely unfit. My family lost custodial rights and my mother’s great grandmother were only granted vistation privileges which they lost within a year and a half. I went through 3 failed adoptions upon when DCF decided I would not be adopted due to my anger issues, and yes I still have them or I wouldn’t be in prison,

LOL. Anyway, I bounced around from foster home to foster home to shelter to group home to programs and JDC until I was 16 upon which I went to do my last program.

Before I went to my last program which was a level 8 dual-diagnosed facility I got to meet my mom. On July 23, 2007 about 10 years after being ripped away from my family they pretty much kicked me out of foster care, dropped the case I was fighting and my probation and gave my mom a form of custody called a “non-parental placement” without telling her I was a drug addict or giving me any of my belongings. By November I was once again arrested but I was released on recognizance and had a court date set.

[This continued for many years and months...]

At the beginning of October (of last year) I was sentenced to 2 years DOC and on Halloween I was transferred into their custody.

I’ve been here almost year now and have 3 months left upon which I plan on beginning a legal business with plans on creating a small corporation. I’ve refocused my illogical illegal thoughts into a form of complete genius and upon my release have the absolute capability of becoming a millionaire within 6 months and plan on doing just that.

The main motivational factor being my ex-fiance as she’s my dream. ... I’ve created 3 major companies with numerous branch companies to begin my journey to success and plan on chasing my dream of being a CEO.

Page 31

Hey B & P Fam! One year HRT meds as of today, June 14! So happy! ^_^ I feel so much better, so much more alive.

Of course, it doesn’t hurt that the past year has been really good for me in their ways, I am now a full time college student thanks to the UniversityBehindBars.org.

This fall should be the launch of the GSA we’ve been working so hard for here at WSR and next week the GSA at the prison next door is having a pride event. I’ve been invited to be a part of the Coalition for trans prisoners as an inside committee member and am on the on the UBBs Equity and Education Team, a sub committee of our student government.

All and all, a fairly good year. In the upcoming year the WA DOX should finally be releasing a set of policies for transgender men- conforming and intersex inmates which will (hopefully) improve conditions for all of us in Washington prisons.

Granted, there will be a lot of fighting left to do, but I’m more than ready to fight those battles as they come.

Blessings and Solidarity!

Amber (WA)

With LGBTQ love,

Tim (FL)

artwork courtesy of Roger Peet via justseeds.org

Page 32

Hey Yall!

This ya girl Arie aka A.3! I am from Detroit, MI. I am 29 years old and a Leo!! I am living as fem Queen but as soon as i am free i will be starting my transitions!!

I am currently being held at Adrian Mississippi BKA Gus Harrison Correctional Facility. I have served 11 years and will be going to see the Parole Board around the end of the year.

Now i been at this spot for a year this month! (May) I been good. Focus on home (Not the boys) (Smile) Enjoying the single by choice life. I added a circle of 3 people that i have grown to love. Shout out to Red, Bam and Reed!! (101) On May 6, 2018. Its me and Red chillin. I asked Red what Red was about to do. Told him i was about go to warm my pizza and go to my cell. He hugged shook hands and he departed. I went to the microwave.

And when i get there i look back and see Red beating up 2 C/Os!! I ran to the window and looked they were on the ground. It was over.

Now i was shocked at the whole thing because it was out of the blue.

I went to my cell lost at it all. This happen around 9 @ night. 1 o’clock in the morning 2 Sgt came to get . I was harass all the way to the hole. I asked why i was going to the hole they said because i had hugged Red. So like now i am freaking out (since when has hugging or kickin it with people become a crime?) I don’t see any special staff till about 9. Its the Inspector. He talked about why i was being held. He said he didn’t know.

(101) He asked about a phone call dealing with $50 i had place to my momma. (Heyy Boo!) I told him it

April 2019

Black & Pink News

was nothing just my mother picking up some money. That concludes. He calls be back 10 min later and told me the Warden will be there to see me at 11:00ish! So 11:00 comes i see the Warden. He tells me he going to do everything in his power to tie me in and get a CASE. I guess he was mad cause i honestly didn’t know why his officers were attacked. I went to my cell. Hours later i receive a Misconduct Report for Assaulting Resulting in Serious Physical Injury (SMH) It states a Confidential Witness heard me state. I was in the hole for just hugging Red and he beat up an officer and i am nervous because the money i paid Red to assault the officer was recorded on the phone (Hellll Naw) So of course i put my lawyer coat and heels on.

Fought the ticket. I get found guilty.

Now this is the interesting part.

The confidential witness has no name!! The phone call was proved to be about something else. So the only proof now was what they was pointing to in the 1st place.

The Hug!! So they used our little bonding time to make it seem like he was making an agreement to assault staff. Now tell me this is not discrimination at its finest!!

I need all your prayers because because 1 mind on 1 accord with all minds is a great power. I suppose to see the Parole Board the end of this year. I am preparing an appeal as i write. So i will keep you all posted. I haven’t touched bases with Red yet because i am in the hole but from him supporting me on my statement I know he is somewhat good.

Yall do whats needed to get out of here. Its not for the girls at all. If you are my girls that got time to do.

Make it as comfortable as possible and smooth sailing. Don’t allow

them to trap you. I love all yall and now that i got myself writing yall will heart from Me often.

Loyalty is Royalty Ya Girl

Arie (MI) get at me!!

Dear Black and Pink, First off, I would like to thank you for all the hard work that you’re doing because there is so much going on in prison and the best way to get away from it all is to read a Black and Pink magazine. Not only do the stories allow every one to know what’s going on in other prisons around the world, but it also lets us all know that there’s a big Black and Pink family around the world :).

I would like to give a big shout out to all the trans women that are in and out of prison and I ask you all to please stay strong and don’t allow anyone, no matter who it is, to tell you that you can’t be who you are.

And also, to all my trans women everywhere, you all have a big place in my heart 4-life.

To my Black and Pink family I would like to thank you once again for allowing us to use this as a platform to reach others and to share our love for all the LGBTQ family around the world.

With Love and Care,

RRR (FL)

Volume 10, Issue 3

blackandpink.org

Page 33

Hello family, Let me introduce myself . My name is Terry but I go by “T.” I’m from California, currently in Federal for an SO offense, and 33 yrs old.

I wanted to give SHOUT OUTS to Lily (my transgender sis and Buddhist guru when I was at FCC Petersburg), Simon, love ya, ya bloody wanka haha, Rex, Tony, Frank, Doc, Mr. Paul, Kyle, Jeremy, Sears, Armondo, Alan, and last but not least Sapa (which means “Black” in Lakota Sioux) I miss you my Hunkpapa :) Thank you for everything Sapa. I shoutout to by brothers and sisters in the Iron Lotus Sangha. I give a VERY SPECIAL shout out to Tommy. Love and miss you, I hope you’re doing OK and don’t forget about me, ok?

Right now I’m in the SHU because I couldn’t walk this yard, so I had to refuse the yard 4 times, then wait 6 months before they transfer me. I’ve been reading a lot in the SHU because they don’t let us have radios back here which sucks. I love listening to music, it helps me relax.

I’m writing because I read an article

by Ricky (TX) from your May 2018 issue. I know how it feels to be sexually molested I’ve been through that myself from the ages of 5 till I was about10 or 11 by my step-dad.

Just like the song by Linkin Park says, “Holding on why is everything so heavy? I keep draggin around whats bringing me down, if just let go I’ll be set free.” That is soooo true, we need to stop dragging around what’s bringing us down and we’ll be set free (RIP Chester).

Also I’m GAY & PROUD ;P and I don’t care what anybody thinks of me. I am who I am if you can’t accept it it’s your loss, I’m a very caring

and loving person. Oh, I forgot to shoutout Poindexter, Viktor, and Paulie, thanks for helping me understand the Four Noble Truths better. And Tommy, thank you for everything. I always remember our laughter, smile, kisses and good times. I can’t wait to get an MP3 player baby so I could download that song you dedicated to me.

Everytime I think of that song it makes me cry (yeah I said CRY!) so what I have a soft heart. To my LGBTQ family and also by Black & Pink family, I give you guys my love. Keep me in your hearts and

prayers.

artwork by CL N (FL)

Love, Peace, and Three Flower Grease, T (SC) Dear Black & Pink, My name is Christie, I’m more known as Solo Johnson, I’m stuck in Okla. I’m 33 years old gay as hell I’m proud to be white, my woman is black, jus because I’m proud to be white does not make me a hater.

I’ve been here starting my 6th

Page 34

April 2019

Black & Pink News

year back in March, I’m here for distribution doing a 25 @ what should of been a 3rd but truely its up to DOC, as long as I’m level 4 (105 days per month) I’m good let some one come to work made, hell I might get knocked to a Level 1 (30 days per month) and its a bitch to get them (CMs) to find time due to the overcrowding to Level up, Anyways

much more to add to the issues, food issues, people with Hep working in the kitchen, roches in the tea and god knows how bad it is in the back of the kitchen.

I want to vent off about a few things 1st why hasn’t any big deal been made about some one stealing the bioBox full of needles 2 years ago?

They sold 20 bucks a pop. Why didn’t the CDC come out? Swept under their big ass rug? Like the 8th amendment we all have has been violated, not jus for that but over crowding, poor medical care long turm lock downs, not enough bathrooms or showers, also they don’t have shit for the people that doesn’t have money or a hustle, like soaps ‘n’ all the goods, Hell @ 1 point not even mats! Their is so

Any way I know they pay fines for the over crowding, paid to fire marshall why couldn’t I just pay fines they caught me with a sack to sell? Hell they show it on tv. I could of went to Rehab with the right medacade card... Addiction is a disease is what’s on tv. WTF? Why they hit me with 25 years? My point is the system is whack. The more people in prisons, the more money the fed’s give the state and even if the have to pay small fee’s like for the over crowding, or keep hush about a whole damn box of dirty used needles highjacked and

What do we do about all of this?

I’m almost out the door and I’m not going to make time to file (under the 14th amendment) make the fed’s pay for the attorney.

sold to the yard. Guess how fast they went? Guess how long one stayed on the yard used, used, used en trains ran on em rented them out for more meth. it is real. How many people caught HIV, Hep C, B, A who knows MBCC don’t. There is more to talk about but for now what do we do about it? What kind of light can we put on this situation?

Now before I go I want to send a shout out to my lover, friend, my woman, my world, her name is Kristy also, spelled differently aka Flame. She just left to min, she is there with my twin sister hanging out, anyway I miss her so damn bad its insane I’ve never felt so damn empty inside. I went nuts until I got my first letter.

I wrote this poem I’ve been meaning to send it to Black and Pink along wiht a drawing. I get down on whatever. A artist will never be broke LOL. Here is the poem IN PANIC

By Solo Johnson AKA Christie D.H.

artwork by Raul G (TX)

Confusion, deception, I”m never understanding overwhelming emotions wasn’t what I was planning this one love, that last pain it’s my loss, you can’t stand the rain New edition, old ambition questioning thoughts called intuition is this love? or is this the deepest of lust? so many emotions I’m too damn scared to trust man damn, I just got my heart to heal deep thoughts wondering, Always... is this real

Volume 10, Issue 3

its over you’re gone, I’ll try to move on too many times I’m falling fast, loving hard hurting slow Broken... Heart beating out my chest, chasing you trying so hard not to let you go No matter the heart ache, still you’re hard to resist!

Stuck laying awake @ night, wondering if I’m even missed Broken heart still beating, screaming, I still exist!!!

I just kept repeating Oh my God my heart is pounding, I can’t breathe with tears I’m drowning, you can’t leave, here I’m broken abandoned and used I’m understanding your deception no longer confused This year has brought so much change, and I’m still sorting through that. I’ve returned to the Wiccan spirituality I had last practiced twenty years ago, and have become a more serious student. Practicing a nature-based religion has rekindled a love of the environment, and a desire to be a more active proponent of the protecting of natural resources. These are big changes for me, but perhaps most surprising is my change of sexual identity designation. I’ve abandoned the “S” I claimed for so long, and now claim a “B”. And it’s exciting to me! It’s a new thing, and I get very excited about new things, but it’s a new thing I can’t talk to many people about, or explore the way I’d like to.

It’s funny how I came to this point.

It’s not so much a real change, but

blackandpink.org

an acknowledgement of the truth of my own nature. I looked back at my past sex life and realized that if I was honest with myself, I’d been bi for a long time. I still hate labels though, because they come with so many assumptions. Well, the only thing that has changed with this acknowledgment is that I feel more free, and comfortable with myself.

I’m no longer in denial about a part of myself. I’m free think about what I’m really attracted to. It seems to me I’m still attracted to the feminine, which is almost always female. As I grow more honest in my reflection of these things though, I realize that the feminine comes in a wide variety of packages, and that’s wonderful!

Naturally, part of what that means is that I have many more possibilities to explore!

I think another byproduct of this self-awareness is that I can learn to recognize and embrace both my masculine and feminine nature. It’s easier to understand why many of the gay people I’ve known have been so outspoken in both action and word.

Because why not? Because we’re not here to live life according to what others will accept, we’re here to live more authentically, embracing our full nature. Perhaps that’s why some of the happiest, most freespirited, whimsical, life-loving, unafraid, and bold people I’ve ever met have been gay. Acceptance isn’t even a consideration. They’ll be themselves, and inevitably, they are surrounded by people who DO accept them. Me? Oh, I’ve got all kinds of labels that I really don’t want, but they may this a lot easier for me. There are plenty of reasons people will reject me. It’s just a given now. And if this is one more reason, then so what? I worry about family, but they’ve stood by me through a

Page 35

lot, and this isn’t really everyone’s business anyways. At the end of the day, I’m more comfortable with myself, and I know I’ll be accepted by some. Warts and all. I’ve already made two such friends (they are just friends and that’s perfect). How wild that I’m learning about so much freedom in prison. Well, I’ve still got a lot to learn! I hope to keep you posted along the way!

Regards,

Robert Allan D. Jr (FL).

Dear Black & Pink Family, How’s everything going? It’s your brother Polo. First off I want to say I got my first copy of the newspaper (March 2018) and I loved it. The Hot Pink part really have me going.

I can’t stop touching myself when I’m reading it...I wanted to thank everyone in the newspaper because I haven’t gotten a letter in almost 2 months now and it made me feel like I got everything I’ve been looking for. My life is a little different now that I opened up about who I really am. I’ve been gay since before I can remember and looooooovvvveee everything about it. I got two brothers thats gay also and when I was 16 I use to sneak out the house just to go to the club with my brothers because they were the only ones knew at the time. I felt so alive with them but when the time came to go home I had to put this mask on life and live someone else life. I’ve just told everyone (Friends, Family, Baby Momma, etc.) that I’m gay and love everything that comes with it. They started out riding with me but I think they really don’t agree with it. Out of no where I woke up to something in my door I was so

Page 36

happy my family wrote me. when I pull the mail from the door I seen it wasn’t my family but it was my FAMILY (Black & Pink-LGBTQ Family) with their arms out ready to comfort me when I was to the point of giving up. Yall gave me that extra push I needed to let me k now there is someone out there that loves me and life is worth living. I even thought at one point that Black & Pink didn’t accept me. I’ve been writing since November of 2017 but never got anything until now. I’ve been looking for my letters in my friend’s paper or a pen pal or anything but nothing. When I needed you all the most is when you came to save your brother. Thank everyone from Dominique Morgan to Miley (PA) to Lisa (CA) to Jay (NJ) and everyone a part of the Black & Pink LGBTQ Family. Keep feeling hearts like you have mine and no one would be able to break this thing apart...

Much love, Your Brother,

Polo (TX) Still suffering. Working on my 8th year in solitary confinement.

I’m not the same person inside my mind, this cell has damaged my mental health. I’ve tried to report it to the mental health staff but they do nothing about my cries for help.

I feel so forgotten. There is so much discrimination towards me because I’m a transgender woman housed in the Arkansas department of corrections. I it’s like they see me as the world’s curse. I’m locked down based on phobias, the administration has made their minds about me. I can’t stop the tears from running down my face, sometimes I feel like I’ve cried my soul right out of my body to where I just feel empty and

April 2019

Black & Pink News

numb. This place has stolen my true identity, they have reduced me to something I am not.

This is Miss Venus again. I am just letting my B+P family know things are only getting worse for me here. I went to classification and requested population and was turned down once again! For what?

I’m not in no trouble at all, I’m doing really good but still I’m being held in solitary confinement. Alls I want is to be treated with equality, normal, like everyone else. But when I request for population the classification committee looks at me like I’m crazy and some even laugh. It makes me feel so low and less of a person, every time I walk out of classification I feel like I’m crucified to the rainbow cross. I need some kind of help from my LGBTQ family. I’ve often thought of suicide, to stop all of my torment and pain.

If I do perish I will not rest in peace until the day comes that everyone is treated truly equally and truly free. I want to be remembered as a transgender woman who had a deep passion inside her heart to change for the better for equal rights in correctional facilities in the Arkansas Department of Corrections. The staff here promotes homophobia and transphobia. It’s wrong and nothing is being done about the harsh discrimination I endure every moment of every day.

Where does someone turn to when they feel helpless and have nowhere to turn for peace of mind? I’m just so tired of being tired. These people use torture tactics daily and I will admit there are times I shatter and have panic attacks and breakdowns.

I want to know how can anyone put a human being in a locked cell for

eight whole years and expect that person to come out the same as you first put him in that locked cell?

It’s impossible, long term solitary confinement should be outlawed as torture.

To everyone who is being locked down because of who you are, you’re not alone, believe me, I’m fighting inside this solitary struggle!

And I’m not going to stop until something is being done about this unjust, inhumane policies, tactics, procedures, being forced upon transgenders and the rest of our LGBTQ community! Stay strong and resist! Closing for now with everyone in my heart and thoughts.

Always your sister in the struggle,

Miss Venus. (MO)

This is Jeff again from South Missouri, in Licking, MO solitary. I want to say hi to all LGBTQ friends inside prison and in the free world out there. I feel being active in positive ways reduces stress, even if it is helping others, or working out, meditation, yoga, dancing, martial arts, crafts. I’m a bisexual male and I like working out, drawing, arts and crafts plus helping other. I believe most of us LGBTQ wants to be accepted and fit in this world in peace. We fight for our rights and support our LGBTQ brothers and sisters. African Americans had to do the same thing fighting for rights and to be accepted and fit in.

We can enjoy ourselves and be strong and proud.

I am in solitary at this time and my days ain’t perfect. As I was drinking my glass of milk for breakfast the guard gave me, I notice after drinking half glass of milk there

Volume 10, Issue 3

was a plastic pastry wrapper in the bottom of my glass. Then at nights I have had mice run across my face, lick around my nose and mouth, even scratch around my hair.

I wrote my case worker and told him about it, and asked if he could do something about it by putting glue mouse traps in our wing, or a give me a grievance to file, guess what? I did not hear back from him, and nothing done about the over populated mouse problems. The other night a guard said in our wing 2-C has the most mice he ever seen, as he works at night and said before coming through the wing door he seen about 20 or 30 mice running around. A inmate was asleep one time and a mouse got into his mouth, and he woke up choking on it and swallowed it. They took him to medical and the x-ray showed the mouse in his stomach. He had to wait until it desolved to come out using the toilet after a few days. I put a wash rag over my mouth while I sleep so that mice won’t climb in.

But I stay strong and humble to fight for better conditions in solitary and ideals for our brothers and sisters LGBTQ on the outside world to be accepted and fight for our rights.

Love you all.

Sincerely, Jeff (MO)

Dear Black and Pink, When I read about the other women in the Black and Pink News, my heart stops. I know that women all over the US have it far worse off than I do. That there are so many that have fought for so long makes me sick. Reading about Michelle in the March 2018 issue made me so sick I could not eat. What kind

blackandpink.org

of country do we live in that would allow a woman to be tortured for 45 years? This is something we have to do all we can to stop, not just to fight for ourselves but also to make sure that no woman is tortured like this again!

I know all too well, what it is like to fight a prison and the military for medical care and to be allowed to live as the woman you are. I am at the United States Disciplinary Barracks, the all male military prison.

I am told all the time that I am not “Allowed to be Female until the ‘Army’ says that you can” I go through harassments, the assaults, the dehumanizing treatment, and then they tell me they cannot prove or disprove a sexual assault! I am a member of the United States Air Force but they have abandoned me to the Army Prison and look the other way.

I have been at the USDB now for four years. When I arrived, there were two women here; one transferred the month I arrived, the other released! The day she was released I found out how bad it could get being the only one here.

Do . not get me wrong it was hell to start with, but when I became the only one left here, they had only me to take out their aggression on. Even today with an approved treatment plan that states I am allowed to “go by and be addressed as Female” I am told that the prison will not allow me to do so until “the Army says you are a Female!”

I will not list all that I go through, because I know that, others are living the same torture as I am every day in prisons around this country,

Page 37

we need not be reminded of the horrors our government allows.

That is something we have to work to end!

They are trying to take away what I have worked so hard for. However, in the end I will not sit down and let them go back to what once was. I am going to have to file in federal court soon to reinforce what I have in writing from the military.

I am lucky to have made so much progress; therefore, I will not give up. I will not let others who come after me down that way. I have had to live a life in the shadows and hide for people all my life who wanted to hurt me for just being who I am.

President Obama took that prison away from us. We no longer have to hide and I will not. I will keep fighting to see a day that no woman has to beg for the right to be treated with common Dignity! I will LIVE as the woman I am no matter what the military wants.

With love for all,

Heather. (KS)

Black & Pink, Greetings to all those who continue to stand strong in the face of HATE. I’m writing this letter for one reason and that is to give you a piece of knowledge that will change your life if you follow through on what I tell you. First and foremost, have someone go to “the American’s Bulletin.com” or call 541.727.7703.

This place has a lot of TRUE knowledge about “the court system”. Read it!!

The continue to practice personage

Page 38

& Barratry against us. And are ran by the united states army, under 14 stat. 428 (March 2, 1867) which divided the ten southern states into five military districts, each to be commanded by an officer not below the rank of brigadier general. Under the act the primary duties of these commanders were “to protect all persons in their rights of person and property to suppress insurrection, disorder, and violence, and to punish, or cause to be punished, all disturbers of the public peace and criminals.”

These provisions of the reconstruction acts have never been repealed. These military district courts using civilian contractors (Bar Associations) are still in operation, still pillaging and plundering private property, under the presumptions of an undeclared mercenary war that has been over for 150 years. These quasi-military courts display the “national colors” with a gold fringe instead of any actual flag, because they aren’t part of our government or any other. They are a private military subcontractors like lockheed or general electric and the us army is responsible for their operations, their oversight and fir their mis-administration, and criminality too.

Please look into this, and gain freedom, several books are offered on this subject and more, with true accounts of it’s use.

April 2019

Black & Pink News

Michael B (MO)

This is the Nick from Pennsylvania.

I added the “the” a la the Todd from “Scrubs” because I’m very unique. I’m the one and only Nick! I’m writing not only to start

my subscription but to also ask a question: is there a term for what I am? Not that I’m into labels but I’m just curious. Ill explain. I was born male but have identified as mostly female, yet still partly male for years (even before my arrest). My mental/emotional state is female while I’m physically male. I’m very shy (especially fun to complications from my Asperger’s syndrome) and girly, I prefer women’s clothing because it just seems really pretty - I love long, flows skirts as well as sundresses, I’m interested in typically female things like flowers and cats, I would like to start HRT someday (but first I would like to father children) and I love sticking things in my butt. At the same time, I want to keep my male genitalia, but someday also have breasts at the same time, and I’m attracted only to women.

I tell people otherwise, they assume I’m a gay man. Apparently there’s something in my body language that makes people’s “gaydars” go off”.

Take advice from me; You don’t have to be completely one thing or another if it isn’t who you are. You can be two of as many things as you want! Now of course if you do feel completely one way, go for it! Listen to your heart and don’t be pressured by what others expect of you. Be unique! Be THE John of THE Jane of whatever your name is!

I’ll be honest, I’m a coward and only feel comfortable telling people I already known well who I know will be cool with it. I don’t know why I’m so afraid. I’m in an actually very safe prison where there are many openly transgender women. Everyone treats everyone well as long as you don’t go looking for trouble. We even have women’s products on commissary, and easy to obtain HRT. I mean I do hear people talk smack on transgender individuals behind their back on occasion. Nothing major. My friends don’t really understand what I am (hell, even I don’t!) and are concerned I won’t be able to find a wife if I have both a penis and breasts. They’re coming from a place of love, but I have to respectfully disagree. There’s someone who’ll love me for sure! (I think I know who that is, but that’s a long story I won’t get into here.) Also, unless

Despite the verbal harassment that I get, I have not actually suffered any physical abuse but I still have plenty of time for that to happen. The biggest challenge for me is dealing with my anxiety and communication with the outside world. I would love to hear from anyone on the outside who is willing to write.

Love, The Nick (PA) I am an openly gay man and life in prison has not been easy but I spent 24 years of my life pretending to be something other than my full authentic self and I refuse to do that again.

Stay Beautiful!

Grant S. (NJ) Hi y’all, My name is Kitty. I’m a 33 year old transwoman. I’m serving an 8 year sentence for felonious assault.

I punched a homophobic preacher.

I was wrong. Now I spend my days trying to find ways to deal with gender dysphoria. I start every day the same way. I shave the nasty man hair from my girl face. I use the bathroom feeling sick over my male

Volume 10, Issue 3

parts. I make bras, breast forums, custom clothes and make up. The only way I have to feel complete is to wear these things. As you can imagine this brings me problems from staff. For the past 5 years, I’ve been going back and forth with staff. They take my girl things, I get depressed. Then I swallow razors and slit my wrist. I’m now overmedicated, still wearing girl stuff with some real ugly scars. Still no medical treatment for gender dysphoria. They tell me I’m too unstable for hormone replacement therapy (HRT), but without the hormones I feel depressed. A loselose situation for me.

-Kitty (OH)

“Standing Strong To Be Free To Be Me” When I was young I knew I was not like others born with these body parts. With all the unkind names I was called, I look back on them days because they made me stand strong to be free to be me. I still like doing things me and my older sister would do when we played dress up.

Despite all the gay boy jokes, I’m a girl deep down in my soul and in my heart.

The LGBT-Q community became my family due to being a runaway 13 year old teenage girl living on the streets of the big city of Los Angeles. No one to love me, but the LGBT-Q community did not push me away. They did not try to take sexual advantage of me, like most people that claim to be straight. In fact, it was a so-called straight man that took my childhood from me at the age of five. The LGBT-Q Community helped me understand

blackandpink.org

real love. It’s not just having sex.

It’s caring for others rather than just yourself. Standing strong to be free to be me with all the haters trying to take me and my other sisters and brothers down. I’m proud to say I’m a transgender woman, 100% real talk. To the ones that read Black and Pink,

Ms. Dee Ann D. (TX) Dear Family, It’s 01/29/18 and I’m once again housed in isolation fresh off another hunger strike that lasted 18 days loss of 42 pounds. I’m okay loved ones even tho I haven’t yet had any of my letters printed in Black and Pink Newsletter. I continue to remain faithful that in due time, one will eventually be printed because I want to thank our entire family for being the most realest group of people to exist in this universe because most of the people around us in our daily lives are the fake people and it’s sad that they don’t even realize it. Everyone is too busy trying to impress each other that they can’t be who or what they truly want to be. Most use LGBTQU as shields to hide behind through LGBTQU Bashing/ Hate mongering. I know some wonder why I added the U in LGBTQ, huh? Because thats how I identify. As, unisex I’m universally inclined. Guess you can say I’m a little bit of them all, I am all and all am I. I’ve been in prison 26 years and I’m 46 years old; look and feel 26 :) Anyways, I want to thank a few special people who sent me cards and wish I could have personally wrote letter/card back but none added addresses. To the first letter, you touched my heart and I thank you. Keep on dancing and enjoying life outdoors. Love to be your

Page 39

dancing partner. Unfortunately, I’m here and you’re there but it doesn’t mean I cant dream love to you. To the next letter, you made my season worth while and I thank you very much and hope your season also was filled with love and gifts of joy. Thank you. Today at mail call 01/29/18, I received these two cards.

Even though they were late they were on time even more because I was in a very dark time in my life but you two have become the sunshine. I thank you both because these cards are special to me. All of them are and I don’t know if there’s more to come or not due to incorrect address. Anyways, I thank my entire family for just contributing to Black and Pink because B.N.P. saves lives and really do power wherever you are. To the new editor and chief, thank you for taking us to the next level. Love and power to you, to all the volunteers stay strong, stay focused, stay working because you are our hope. Love and power to you all and to my family inside-stay swilted and booted, the battle continues- love, power, and kiss!

Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!

I love you wholeheartedly,

Nuubyyah. (AK) Salutations: My Brothers and Sisters and My Family at Black and Pink First I would like to say Farewell to “Edith Windsor” If you don’t her or heard of her she was a gay rights activist whose landmark case led the Supreme Court in 2013 to grant same-sex couples federal recognition for the first time died Sept 12, 2017 at the yound age of 88. I would like to say thank you Edith Windsor for all the hard work

Page 40

and all the up hill battles you will be truly missed, and I would like to say farewell to Gilbert Baker, gay rights activist who created the first rainbow flag, died March 31, 2017 at the yound age 65? Thank you for making our wonderful flag. You will be missed thank you.

Here is something we all need to stop and think about this goes for meas well.

Do you know what the “Dash” means between the day you were born and the day you die? For example: I use my date of birth December 21, 1954-?The small line, dash is everything you have done, have said, and your whole life, that’s every job you have had, every lover you have had, everyone you have loved and hurt. The dash is all that you were. What will others say about you, at your death? Will it be all bad, maybe some bad and little good? How do you want others to remember you? You still have time to change that you, you are not dead yet, so take some time and change.

No! it may not be easy but do it. No if’s and’s or but’s.

My heart goes out to those who had to come to prison to find out who you were! This is my own opinion.

We need Billboards put up with 1-800 Black PK with an 24 hour 7 days a week hot line. If you are thinking about coming out call us we are here for you. If you need help call us. Black and Pink’s goal is to help you and to close down the prison systems.

We also need a survey of how many LBTQ and others 1) are in the United States and 2) how many are in prisons we need to come up with a way to generate more funds for B &

April 2019

Black & Pink News

P and the LGBTQ movement some ideas are but not just limited to: art work, baking cookies, cakes, pies, tatoos, yard work, house repairs, painting, sewing and the list goes on and on. Get everyone involved.

at least 1,000 or more aces for sale.

We can build are own town, city, and maybe state.

B and P should be all about “UNITY” we must all come together and help one another. If you had a problem with: drugs, alcohol, pornography, anger, or any other problem and you overcame it help someone who has no overcome it. If it’s the goal to close down prisons then shut down alcohol, drugs, pornography manufacturer’s. Help out a brother or sister overcome before they end up 1) in prison 2) dead.

Hello B/P family

We all want to help one another get out and do it. It is not all about me me me but others as well. We could build our own town, city, and state fly our flag high be proud of who we are show the world who we are; fun, loving and caring people let us be the one who stamps out crime get out of prison never to return but can return to help others. we need to lower the time no more 5-99, life or death but a year or two. If we all come together as one we can be overcomes. Love you all.

If you can and if you will, will you please write me back and let me know how many LGBTQ are in the United States and how many LGBTQ are in prison, what type of crime they have.

What was the driving force behind them going to prison. g.g drugs, alchol, pornography and etc etc.

I would also like to get the LGBT movie stars or television shows or anyone that makes movies or has a role in the movies. I need some address any place in the US that has

William (TX)

Not just hello, I love you all dearly and all my LGBTQ community.

I love you all, let me introduce myself, my name is Adam but go by Red Eagle. I am a American Indian, white, Jamaica king in N.C. prison.

I am 29 years old and am proud to be a part of not just LGBTQ family but also B/P as a whole. This is my first time and definitely not my last if god don’t take me home writing you guy’s.

First let me say lamont of NC my mont mont rest in peace I love you.

I do want to say a couple of this to two of the Queen’s this got my mine go 1st DeDe of Pennsylvania my African American Queen you thouch my heart about your sister’s and just know I am not with anyone as of now if you need a pen-pal or more. Cause I feel your pain when I lost (mont) I lost the world.

Rainbow love my queen from your king. And to Ms Juicy of (NV) sexy native queen! How you know I can’t handle the truth if you don’t give me the change. To you to queen’s I love get to know if your not dating, but if you ir I don’t need trouble with no other’s. sending love and prayer to all you. And please don’t forget what my wifey said I mean Mrs. DeDe of (PA) united we stand, divided we fall power of the rainbow I love you all and God bless you no matter if you know me or not I love you always.

Adam Wade (Red Eagle), NC

Volume 10, Issue 3

Hello!

My loved ones. How is everyone doing?... Well let me go ahead and introduce myself... My name is Cutberto and I am a registered Transexual and I go by the name “Kendra”. I am about to be 25 years old in Jan. 14, I am a Latina and I’m from the valley.

Ok hunnies... My whole purpose of this letter is to catch the public eye for justice. Not just for me, but for everyone who has been beaten from a correctional officer Sept. 8 at 5 am. Here, I was reporting that I was having problems with my cellmate.

So I was trying to do the right thing and report it to get a house change.

Instead, it did become, one’ worst nightmare... Anywho, I reported it to an officer about my situation and he claimed to help me, but you see he had played it cute cause the laundry officer was in the building. So, he said go ahead and sit on the bench once we done here, I’ll get rank. So I sat patiently. Once they was done with laundry, he came back into B wing and he said clearly...”You have 2 options, go in on your own or I can drag you myself?”... I said, “Get rank cause I’ve been having these problems for days.” That’s when he said “I’m giving you the option once more.” Then I stated, “You know what I don’t want to talk any more until you get rank, and if you put your hands on me I will press charges against you!”

That’s when I have him my back.

And Lord only knows that was the worst mistake I ever made in my life! He then grabbed me in a choke hold and he tried to slam me on the ground. This man choked me out till I passed out for a couple of seconds and I remember waking up to him dragging me by my left leg threw me

blackandpink.org

into a cage they have in the B wing.

I kicked him off once, I snapped and realized what was going on. My life was in danger, and only God knows what this man’s motives were. But I remember I kicked him off and crawled out to the door. Once I was out, I turned and seen him walking towards me as I remember I started yelling at the officer in the pickett. I remember yelling at him to call for help, “Why you just standing there, help me please!! Please, I’ve never given you a reason to do this to me!” That’s when the other officer came out, went into the pickett and was talking to him as I was in the space punching and kicking the door yelling, “God no! Please help me!” He then came out the pickett and walked up to me and said, “Shut up and go back in!” “No, I won’t! You will pay for this. You lost your damn mind!” And I turned to continue to punch and kick the door. That is when he grabbed me from my hair to punch me on my right eye and I fell into a daze onto my knees and he got on top of me as I ended up flat on my stomach and him on top of me just punching men and kneeing me. pulling on my hair. I WILL NEVER FORGET these exact words he told me! “Is this what you wanted?” As he was punching me, by the time you know it, I was in my own puddle f blood, and I finally gave up. I came to realize I no chance with this man.

This physical abuse went on for at least a good 45 mins. The worst 45 mins of my life. As he beat me, I told myself “God, if I die please just do me one favor, take good care of my family and let them know I’m sorry for every hurt and pain I caused them but also that never changed how much I love them dearly!”

And for the remaining 10 to 15 mins, I just laid there with my eyes

Page 41

closed taking in every punch until rank finally arrived and just stood there for about 10 mins, watching me. I remember they was debating on turning on the camera... That’s when I started to yell at them, “Turn on your camera!” And the sergeant said “Shut up before I kick your face in!” And I did. But best believe once they turned on the camera, I went back to yelling again, I was covered all in blood, screaming “look what he did to me. Y’all will pay for this!” They took me to seg and left me there for 2 hours and then took me to medical. I got my physical done. I made sure they document every scratch, took x-rays, pictures and once I was done, they took me back to my cell. I couldn’t eat... He left me with knots all over my head, my jaw swollen on the left side, scratches all over my neck, and a black eye that lasted for 2 weeks with blood all around my pupil and a busted nose. I remember, I Iooked into the mirror and looked at myself and said, “You’re not the pretty Kendra anymore. Why God? Why did you let him do this to me?”

I couldn’t bear looking at myself anymore... I wrote my mom a letter telling her what happened and how I looked ugly and why did God let him do this to me?... I prayed so hard cause I hated God at that very moment... This officer could’ve killed me. Beat me to death! But I prayed and sought for many answers. And he answered me and not only that, but he helped me to FORGIVE this man! But one thing I made understood with him my god tho, I will NEVER FORGET! But that don’t mean I don’t deserve my “JUSTICE”. Anybody that has been through what I’ve been through, we deserve out “JUSTICE!” So, I am gonna be vocal and help fight.

This is why, I took the time to write

Page 42

this out to put out into the public eye! I’ve talked to the wardens and nothing has been done. They even put this officer back in the building 4 days later after he beat me, like nothing ever happened. This unit is so corrupted and fo things dirty. So, we got to do things on our own if we want to put a stop to this. Many officers on this unit are known to be beating on us offenders and wardens and major are aware about it and refuse to do anything. I am going and reporting it to every upper hand and any organization, media, etc. I can get a a hold of. I hope and pray you find it in your heart and take it into consideration to help me, and put an end to this.

Well, Imma go ahead and wrap this up here with many blessings! Love and peace!

Love always yours truly,

Kendra (TX) Black & Pink, Bros and Sisters, To the B&P newsletter crew I may “thanks a million times over!” Your newsletter is a jewel in today’s nasty world. Seriously. I don’t know what I’d do without it. I get it sent in under a friend’s name due to the hate so many have for the LBGTQ community. When will it stop. Not long ago one of our fellow brothers was attacked after getting caught reading the newsletter, by his cellie. That’s one thing we really need changed on your part there at Black & Pink’s offices. A lot of us are “under the radar” due to the constant mental, emotional and physical abuse. The B&P newsletter comes in and it is not discreet at all. Many people who are not a part of the LBGTQ community know

Black & Pink News

exactly what the B&P newsletter is.

Those of us who are still closeted in “prison” humbly ask can you start sending the newsletters out in plain envelopes with the label on the envelope, instead of the actual newsletter. Please. I want to continue to read it because it truly helps, especially within these wicked walls.

Secondly, I would like to give a huge salute, hug, and send lots of love on behalf of the entire LGBTQ community to a special man. No, no, no he is not “in” the LGBTQ community per say, but he does so, so, so much for us and what’s crazy is the fact that he risks his life, reputation and status for us. This man is a heterosexual male who just got sick of how we (LGBTQ) were being treated within the wicked walls of the prison system.

One day, out of nowhere, during an assembly within the prison, he gets up to speak. The assembly was an all-day event where some of Pennsylvania’s top congress and state representatives members attended, as well as criminal, municipal, superior and supreme court judges, several members of the Philadelphia, Delaware County, and Bucks county DA’s offices, assorted members of different non-profit organizations, victims and family members of victims of violent crimes, PA Dept. of Corrections officials and many, many, many other high leveled, political and advocacy persons. The governor and several mayors also were at said event. The event (title I don’t recall, “Day of Responsibility” or something like that) had many, many important people that can make changes and big things happen, in attendance. So this man, this God-sent goes to the podium.

April 2019

Mind you, he himself is not just the average prisoner. He is actually a celebrity. He is a member of a platinum selling rap/hiphop group, and he’s the Lifer’s Incorporated chairman of newsletter/Media Committee here at Graterford State Penitentiary. A lot of use have girlschool crushes on him, I won’t lie, because he is so, so very handsome.

But none would ever make a pass/ move or even came at him in that way, because we all know he just isn’t gay, etc. Anyway, first he got up there and spoke about the injustices in America, the many flaws within the judicial system, etc. But our of nowhere he states: “Speaking of injustices.... I want to also touch base with the many sick, uncalled for, prejudicial, disrespectful, inhumane and the list goes on type injustices brought against members of the LGBTQ community, not only our in the free world, but also inside of the many prisons, jails, pens and institutions not only right here in the USA, but all over the world! Many, many, many members of this wonderful community are disrespected, verbally attacked, mentally, physically and emotionally abused, neglected, disregarded, be little, shunned, laughed at, accused, despised, discriminated, and in many cases even killed -- for no damn reason, other that a such, demented person’s dislikes and hatred towards the LGBTQ community! Why? Why?!

IT’s wrong and it truly needs to stop. We’re in the pen, less. There’s a huge misconception within prison walls. “Straight guys” (he actually did the air quote with his hands) have this thing where they believe every homosexual male, bi or trans woman (yes he literally said that) in jail wants you. Come on man, get over yourselves. It’s not even

Volume 10, Issue 3

that type of party. I’ve been behind these walls going on 15 calendars and from what I’ve witnessed with these eyes, it be of the time the so-called “straight guys” coming at them with sexual passes, and/or promises of gifts and money and so forth. Let’s keep it all the way real.” At that moment an inmate in the crowd stood up and tried to cut him off and the brother got his feelings hurt because our out the blue guardian angel pointed and snapped at the guy, “you shut your

blackandpink.org

mouth! You are one of these socalled ‘straight guys’ I was referring to. The LNGTQ community needs to be given support within these walls and prisons throughout a lot of hate for them when there shouldn’t be. I dare say, yes, to each his/her own. However, when you have the LGBTQ community, you’re no damn different that the many biggest that ran around lynching many Black men and women back in those wicked yours. Even the biggest of today with the race thing.

Page 43

You’re no different than the creeps that slaughtered a bunch of women through that whole Salem witch trails. Or the extremes overseas that would bury the female babies alive just cause they were born a girl.

How about the Jewish people that were just murdered by Hitler’s rule?

Come on now, get it together. The hate must stop. Seriously. Today, here and now I vow my support for the LGBTQ community and its fight for the right to live free, respected and to be left the fuck alone, for they

Thoughts on Pen Culture and Reform

By Travis W. (Iowa) Officially the penitentiary since the 18th century although humans have imprisoned each other since the beginning of recorded time.

The concept of the penitentiary was invented by quakers who chose the word from the Latin Paenatentia which literally means repentance. This punishment mainly consisted of isolating the inmate with nothing but a christian bible to pass the time. Although modern institutions provide various creature comforts and are presumably less draconian than their quaker templates a definitive method of rehabilitation has yet to be invented.

Prisons have become warehouses and corrections big business.

Prison industries exploit cheap labor practices without offering incentives such as paid leave, vacation or retirement packages.

Furthermore, the personal skillset of the inmate are usually not encouraged by administrators.

DOC policy does not allow inmates to engage in a business or profession.

To put it simply, it is very difficult for one to achieve rehabilitation if they are not allowed to make a decent living while on the inside.

The vast majority of inmates will see the streets again. Encouraging inmates to participate in the free market economy would be a step in the right direction. The freedom to invest, advise, and earn should not be comprised by confinement. Education can be offered teaching the prison population money management and fiscal responsibility. Limited earn potential has always been a hallmark of the penitentiary system. not only does this put the prisoner at a severe disadvantage upon release it also denies the victims and state the right to receive speedy restitution.

Statistic consistently reveal that inmates with a support network of friends and family have a lower rate of recidivism. Rehabilitation advocates should then ask why more

is not being done to facilitate these relationships. Currently only a handful of states allow some form of conjugal visiting.

Out of the states that do it is typically mandatory for the prisoners to have been married before their incarceration in order to be eligible. Family visitation programs which allow intimacy come with unfair stipulations such as denying the opportunity to lifers.

More widely known is the fact that most jails whether city state or federal only allow brief non contact visiting and place unreasonable restrictions on correspondence This includes limiting the number of enclosures, the rising cost of commissary pre stamped envelopes or denying romantically or denying romantically themed photos.

The prisoners capacity to love many not be limited during their sentence but their means of expressing it certainly are.

Page 44

all are human and should be treated as such. That’s all.” With that said, he slid off the podium and began his walk back to his seat (which his pigeon-toed walking self).

There must’ve been supporters and members of the LGBTQ community all though there, because that man received a standing ovation. Even a lot of the prisoners were clapping.

There was one more speaker, but it must’ve sucked going after that knight’s speech. LOL. After that one, there was like this mingling session, if you will. All of the people in attendance got to get themselves a lovely platter of food, beverages, and talk to one another.

Politicians, advocates, prisoners, clergy men, etc. people that would normally wouldn’t even get to sit in the same room with one another, we just mingling in perfect harmony -and I believe it was the speech of a man no one expected to bring up the plight of the LGBTQ community up. That man was Y. Frankie. During the mingling session, most people in the room were trying their best to rub shoulders with him. People were doing the most to just get to shake his hand and get a few words in with him. Every trans woman there, even the outside guests all line up to thank him. Our gay brothers, lesbian sisters from the outside and all. It was great Since that event, He started a newsletter of sorts. First it was one page, but now its like up to 5 pages. He does it our of his own pocket (prison account). He was instrumental in helping the gals get items on commissary for trans women incarcerated. He singlehandedly started an LGBTQ support group, in which incarcerated members of the LGBTQ community can meet up once a week and open up, seek help, etc. You know, get that moral,

April 2019

Black & Pink News

emotional & mental support from someone who actually cares about us. I wish the world had a whole lot more people like him. Seriously. Oh yes, before I forget. Y. Frankie also accepts letters from any member of the LGBTQ community and supporters. If you’re incarcerated you would have to send letters via third-party (discreet) and be sure to enclose your contact info (prison info & third-party info) so he can reply to your letters. If you’re in the free world, you can contact him direct. He reads all the letters himself personally and replies personally.

He gladly accepts letters from any Lesbian, Gays, Bis, Trans and Queer. He’s committed to helping our cause. He’s also a certified Peer Specialist, meaning he knows what to say if you’re depressed, stressed or on edge. If you feel alone, he’ll also let you know that you’re not.

God Bless that man. Our community definitely needs that kind of support.

Hello! My Loving family Jessica Anne is in the house!

Today, I have a serious! Matter to speak on, and I hope that everyone who reads this article, will give me their opinions about it. In fact, I invite everyone and anyone who is allowed to, to write to me with their thoughts. I will reply to all.

GOD Bless all my bros and sisters in the LGBTQ community. Keep hope aline and love yourselves. We definitely shall overcome. Oh, shout to O. F. Your book made its way here. One of the girls got transferred here and possessed. YAAAAAAS!!

I love it. Okay y’all, this MS. Jaylovely signing off.

By society’s labels I am a transgender female, I absolutely! Hate labels. I am a female, period. I do not believe that there be a prequalifier, before a person’s gender.

Saying that I am Trans-gender this or that, makes me feel like a thing, not a person. How many others of you, out there, get what I am saying, and agree with what I am saying?I am no less of a girl than a girl who identifies as a cis female. My point is, that if someone identifies as the opposite sex from which they were born, then we should treat them, look at them, respect them, and accept them as the gender they present themselves as. The same thing applies with the labels gay, bi, lesbian, queer. Why are we so afraid to say, “I am a woman that prefers to be with other women?” or I am a man who prefers to be with other men. Or I am a woman or man who likes to be with both men and women. Why can’t we just say that?

In order to stomp out the hatred, we must get rid of all the negative labels. I absolutely!! Refuse to identify as a trans this or that. I am a female, a girl! A woman! Not a thing! Not a label, I am a person.I would to hear from anyone and everyone who cares to respond to this article.

Muuah!!

Sincerely

Spoiler Alert: Even though his last name sounds Spanish, he doesn’t actually write in Spanish nor speaks it. Because his mother is Brazilian and his father is half Moroccan, half Ethiopian (wow... what a mix he is) LOL. Feel free to write this knight for the LGBTQ community. That’s what the gals call him. Cute.

Jaylovely (PA)

Jessica Anne (MA)

Volume 10, Issue 3

Dear B & P, My name is Quadre AKA Lil Miami. Im a African American from the sunshine state but I am currently incarcerated in Illinois.

I’ve been here since I was 3 months shy of my 17th Birthday and I am now 24 yrs old. Well its 1 o’clock in the morning and i’ve been deep in thought about the future and reading a B & P Newsletter.

No lie, every time i read a letter its like i can literally feel the struggle and pain that my people are experiencing. I can identify with that and i really just wish i can help every single one of you. I am a proud and devoted satanist and that fact may a lot of people to believe that I am a bad or evil person because of the stigma society and other religions have put on satanism but that is total falsehood.

I am a really good person and a very loyal friend. And true satanism has nothing to do with evilness or sin although there has been other so called “satanist” that has misled society. Never allow others to mislead you. As a LGBTQ member and a proclaimed satanist I am one of the biggest outcast in all of America.

But as individuals we should live our lives by what we truly believe and feel in our own hearts. A person who lives their entire life by others standards are almost guaranteed to die a miserable person because he/ she did not live the life they wanted.

On another note i’ve come to observe that in every B & P newsletter there are a multiple amount of brothers and sisters that speak about romantic relationships and heartbreak in prison. I am very aware how much us convicts depend on intimate relationships.

blackandpink.org

Even more so than when we were in the free world. That is because of the loneliness and vulnerability we feel behind these walls. However i have learned from multiple personal experiences that we need not allow the people we hold close to take us for granted or take advantage of us.

Usually it is not the enemy, but the people closest to us that can hurt us the most. Sometimes the person that you’re in love with is a vampire and they won’t stop until they suck every drop of blood from you. Yes, there are many good hearted people behind bars. But theres also a lot of snakes. We just weed out who is who.

Just because a person is extremely beautiful on the outside doesn’t

Page 45

mean you have to put up with the severe ugliness of their inside. Yet i still believe that everyone has the potential to change. Loyalty. Honor.

Integrity. Be safe family. Peace!

Quadre (IL)

I have been so stuck in a deep depression, to the fact that I am about to get my operation. My hormones has been so high to the point that I am full woman and I have developed bigger breasts and I have feminized very much around my face and my thighs are so sexy.

My hormones and my push has been a great thing for my new sexy self. I

artwork by Starlette Skye S., NC

Page 46

love being trans. I have accepted the life of being an super lady and my gender role so I ask all of my sister and LBGT family to accept them, accept self and be who you are and shine like a lotus and be yourself. I am queen and learn to block out the haters and tell yourself that you are beautiful and very very top notch in your skin. You are who you are and you are that of a beauty that shines through the top of all hours of your life. Don’t be struck by a weakness that breaks the cold ground that has brought so many of our people to harm that self and be that an monster to self. And stand up to your own demons and be that of your own leader and not fall weak to the lust of the homophobia that surrounds the world that we live and be that of a beast and all your wants and not bow down to false calls of the hate that surrounds us day by day.

Sweet love and burning pains of the sounds of hate that render the hope of self respect and the lust of hate that comes from the sickness of the lost souls of that own throbbed hearts. We are strong and no one is better than you. You’re the only source of love and good is the only place of comfort. As I open my heart and speech to all my Black and Pink friends I honor and I chant happy valentine day to all of you. You are all my valentine for our love is trust.

April 2019

Black & Pink News

Cleveland W. (AR)

Hey Black and Pink Family!!

My name is Ceani, I’m an AfroRican translatina from North Philly. Currently doing time in the FLDOC. I’ve been down 11 years and have 3 ½ years left. I’m 27. I been wanting to write and contribute

to the cause as far as advocacy and information goes. What withheld me was slothfulness and timing.

Slothfulness because I tend to put things to the side that I should have been accomplishing and stop allowing my mind to invest in so many unprofitable things. Timing because I believe God is Granter of that. He knows when it’s right and will touch you and allow those words to flow naturally on your paper. Words that’ll encourage and breathe life into the spirit of the LGBTQ community. So, with that being said, I want to encourage the fam, anywhere you are, regardless of what state prison you reside, to stay rooted in love and ever continue to practice humility, however hard it may be to do so. I say this because, thru experience, I learned that love is a fruit in season year round. And humbleness is the only way to show love even in the Darkest Days.

Right now, as I write this, I sit in confinement, because the lack of practicing such act. I’m a puerto rican chick from the hood, so I tend to have a slick mouth and be ready to fight over small BS. that’s no excuse tho, Because humility is something taught to us even when we were kids. I know that some of us are fighting, fighting a hard fight with the system, with our situation, with whatever it is that you stand against. But the key to ever winning that Battle in your mind and in your spirit is to remain humble at all times. Mother Teresa. Jesus Christ.

Buddha. Nelson Mandela. All won that fight, by keeping it real with the act of humbleness with themselves.

By continually loving, even as evil incarnated in so many of their situations. This builds character and respect for all people, within you.

It’s hard, I know. But without it, its

even harder to attain it, you must empty yourself in prayer, to allow God to fill you with His love and the humility He gave those that truly experienced Him. So, Black and Pink Family, the incarcerated or not, pray, Be humble in your work, and love always. It’ll get you a long way. Trust God!!

Ceani (FL)

May the LGBT family always have an angel by their side, watching out for them in all things we do...

Reminding us to keep believing in brighter days, finding ways for our wishes and dreams to take us to beautiful places, giving us hope that is as certain as the sunrise... giving us the strength of serenity as our guide... may we always have unconditional love, comfort, and courage, and may we always have an angel by our side. Someone there to catch us if we fall, encouraging our dreams, inspiring our happiness, holding our hands and helping us through it all. In all our days, our lives are always changing. Tears come along as well as smiles...

Along the road we travel, may the miles be a thousand times more lovely than lonely, may they give us the kind of lifestyle that never ever ends. someone so wonderful to love and a dear friend in whom we can confide. May we have beautiful, colorful rainbows after every storm.

May we have hopes to keep us warm and may we always have an angel by our side.

Remember, the LGBT family is truly beautiful and charming; we are together as a no-limit family.

Devon

blackandpink.org

Volume 10, Issue 3

Page 47

Poetry from Our Black & Pink Family Whats Good Black & Pink Dis ya Boi Dre coming from EAST ATLANT but at Hays State Prison right now. And unfortunately Im in the box but for a good reson. For standing up for the Fam!!! And my meg to everybody is stand up yall: Never Let these Gangs Push Us Around. If all of us come together and put our difference aside. There thing will never happen. Stand up weather you like them or not family is family. But much Love to you all man & Gay Gang or Don’t Bang.

by DeAndre W (GA)

The Worst Thing: The worst thing is holding onto someone who doesn’t want to be held onto, Don’t fall for someone unless they’re willing to Catch you. the thing about falling in love is that if you do it right you’ll Never hit the ground, life is too short to be anything but happy so kiss slowly, love deeply, forgive quickly, take chances and Never have regrets. forget the past but Remember what it taught you. Sometimes you Just have to Smile, Pretend everything’s okay, hold back the tears and walk away.

Cause if you want to see the rainbow you must go through the rain. if you want True love love, you must go through the pain. Women were made from a man’s Rib, not from his head to be superior, not from his feet to be walked on, but from his side to be equal, from under the arm to be protected and from Next to the heart to be loved. If there’s no love for each other just walk away.

by Jarvis W. (IL)

A Mother’s Love To every mother around the world, I write this poem for you.

You’re always doing those extra things You really don’t have to do.

Giving birth to a son or daughter Is a gift from above.

And no matter what road your child may choose, They will always need your love.

They will need you their first day of school To help with the concentrate.

They will need you their senior year When it is time to graduate.

They will need you when they find a job And move out on their own, They will need to know you love them And not feel alone.

They will need you if they are in prison To help them overcome, They will need your love and support No matter what they have done.

To all the mothers around the world, I write this poem for you.

We want you to know that all the children love our mothers too!

by Robert G. (MO)

Safe Place When I met you, I was a ship at sea that was being tossed around in this thing called life! I was searching the horizon for a safe and comfortable place to land. It took me a long

time to find that place. I didn’t find it until I found you! You’re my safe, comfortable lighthouse. If it wasn’t for you I would still be at sea floundering. You’ll always be my safe, comfortable lighthouse in the rough seas called life! I could not do life without you as my lighthouse.

Will you stay my lighthouse?

by Julius O. (KS)

Trusted to Deliver To Believers of Elohim “Creator of All That Is”, The reading out of Psalm 138:7: Though I walk in the midst of distress, you revive me; You stretch out your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and your right hand saves me. Are you in the middle of distress? ...or hard times whether in prison or the free world? Don’t lose hope. Elohim will bring new life to your spirit, refreshing your hope and assuring you that he has your back.

Elohim promises through the words of King David, “You stretched out your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and your right hand saves me.” You dear believer, don’t have to lift a finger to defend yourself.

Elohim will deal with your enemies in a way they will never forget.

Trust me. I seen it throughout my prison term a few times. So know that he loves you and is always with you to deliver you from harm. Keep on loving, caring, and never forsake your faith.

by Yoseph A. (OH)

Page 48

A Ponderous Plight Do you believe that people can find love behind bars, when they can’t even gaze at the stars?

I’m not sure if I do...

Yet I know the Universe works in mysterious ways and love can bloom in the oddest of places...

Maybe, even among those unfamiliar faces.

What I do know is that I’ve felt this stirring twice before yet was too timid to pursue it and make it more (or less) than a simple feeling held back in my chest...

Her smile has a way of disarming, diffusing my defenses about the validity of love behind fences...

Is it really true that the third time’s a charm?

Or is this just another path to lead me to harm?

April 2019

Black & Pink News

by Cynthia Q.

That One As the merriment of life dwindles, the apprehension, of meeting the one that instills, the energy back into oneself, grows. The search for the one that moves the heart, mind, and soul as one. This coming about can be a strategic mishap, or an all encompassing Bliss. The hungering one feels for compassion encapsulates one in restlessness,

especially when one’s attraction is near, yet so far away by being in an area that is not accessible, wherefore one can only gaze in want and hope.

The need compounds as seconds go by turning into minutes, into hours, into days, into weeks, and even years before one may encounter the one that will move the heart and mind and soul as one.

by Daniel S. (GA)

Even thought I just got 5.5 - 7.5 more years, nah, F that I’m not gonna shed no tears.

I’ma keep on fighting the same old fight that I’ve been fighting for oh so long, & I’ma fight with all my might & show all that I’m not gonna go wrong, & no matter what ‘til the end I’ma always stay strong.

I’m not gonna fall to the negative temptations inside, I’ma just keep passing them by in stride.

I know some look at me & say “I just don’t get it,” they say that ‘cause of all the hell & destruction I used to cause, but I had to take a break & pause ‘cause in the end it won’t really worth it & I was ready for a change.

So you may say “nah, that can’t be Domonic,” but just trust 2 believe it’s still me, I’m just new & improved.

I know you waiting

for me to slip & fall back so you can negatively ridicule & critisise me, but slipping & falling back is something I’m not gonna do, so you can wait all you want but you can wait all you want but you sadly mistaken ‘cause that time will never come to be.

Yeah I’m gay, & some may not like it but I’m not gonna change so all my haters can keep on moving ‘cause one thing’s for sure I’m gay & PROUD, & oh yeah, I’m here to stay...

by Domonic (NC)

Mail Call It’s quite shocking for a Modern Day Girl to be taken away from her gadgets and gizmos.

What is even more surprising is how quickly she becomes reliant on “Snail Mail.”

This timeless, classic Art form of Expression has been tossed carelessly aside in the throes of Modern Day Life.

Yet Prison “Technology” is a world of its own, So this communication is revived.

Some would say it is even essential-if her Hope is to survive.

Mail Call is the highlight of the day here, yet it balances on a fine razors edge-it’s a Russian roulette with stakes

Volume 10, Issue 3

blackandpink.org

of Nirvana or Despair.

secrets. Instead you went and told Whatever happened to your hand to help me to strive and be the Best in Life.

The only thing that you was concerned about was bringing me heart-aches and strife.

When I needed help I could not depend on you.

Now I am so broke & helpless and feeling like a fool diggin up dirt was your game plan to ruin my pride The Evil Eye surrounds me is there a place for me to hide, You would rather see me doing bad, Than to see me doing good...

The Evil Eye awaits us all I hope you understood.

soothes the loneliness.

by Cedric L.J. (AKA the Lady Ms. Champagne Zakiya), GA

When the officers tote in the mail cart inmates wait on the edge of their chair holding their breath, nearly pulling out their hair, pretending not to care, waiting and wishing (in a bittersweet anticipation akin to a lover’s first kiss) for the mail to just be there.

She knows there is really only two outcomes: To revel in the joy of communication with the free world Feeling the flood of validation and love; or To sink in the sickening sorrow and shame of not even once hearing her name.

Trivial as it may seem to free worlders this is no petty game.

A single missive can change it all.

Mail is powerful beyond the more words it brings.

For the rest of my life-the value of mail will never be the same.

by Cynthia Q.

The Evil Eye You look at me with hate in your eyes You outcast me and then you told me bitter and twisted lies.

You misled me to walk down a dark and endless road. and Shared some of my best-kept

Page 49

That special someone with which one may show forth the love buried deep within, which needs that special someone to bring it to the surface overflowing.

That special someone with which one may bring to one’s surface the innerbeing, the one that is scared to show the love and caring one has, that is submerged in the bottom of one’s soul aching to break free of the mire holding him down, to swim to the surface and break free of the shell of shyness and indifference and even fear of shown affection one might receive, to once and for all set one’s soul aglow, and aloft.

by Daniel S. (GA)

(Love Starved) That Special Someone As my mind wanders through things that be, and might have been, what could have been.

My heart yearns for that someone special.

That special someone which one may share of one’s self, of one’s innermost thoughts and ideas, the being that they are inside, the one they wish to truly be!

That special someone with which one may be held in the showing of the caring for one another, that sharing of compassion that one can’t quite show.

That special someone with which whose mere presence can bring joy to one’s heart; just the nearness

Like zombies, we roam the face of this land lookin for that one heart to feast upon in hopes of ending that, Aching hunger for love.

We attach our selves to all so many false and dark hearted people only to receive another stabbing, oh’ how (“love starved”) we are.

One by one we tend to , line all those empty hearts up knowing happiness isn’t there; but the fact of it... We know that only pain could come of this.

Like a vortex the darkness come upon us with such a pull one can’t escape and with blindfolds on we allow our selves this headache in hopes of, possibly changing all to fit our wants of finding true love.

Unknowing that our hearts were

Page 50

April 2019

Black & Pink News

Poetry from Our Black & Pink Family were only being eaten and drained of every drop of light within, (“love starved;) we walk amongst the (“soulist”) zombies as they feast upon our joy, love, peace.

Will there ever be a moment of calm. I can only find relief within this pool of blood in my palm. I wish you could but you don’t understand my qualm.

So you ask why. Well I say that there are those of us that were truly blessed to have this sort of loving blindness that pushes us to keep, on giving of one(s) self.

When it’s my time I have no choice but to go, my feelings are my greatest foe. If you dare to brave it.

I grant you entrance to my circuits of woe.

Mainly out of our own stupidity to see that, one true love that we seek; We’ve always had it but for some the creeps upon us before we realize that all we have to do is look with in ones self to find that one true love.

The (“Love Starved”) End....

by Mr. Duce B. “SVSP” (CA)

WOE Please release me from this cage.

I try my best, yet I get treated as a nave. Depression engulfs me like a hulking wave. Day in and day out I realize I’m an objective slave.

It seems like joy is a rare jewel that is unobtainable. Optimistic is something I’ve tried to be, but find that I am unable. I can grasp the infernal despair Cain felt after he slew Abel.

Chiron and I are one and the same.

The River Styx is my domain. I wouldn’t doubt that you would buckle under the weight of my pain.

Tell me if you could watch your seed be stillborn and not get the urge to sever a vein.

by Jonathan B (TX)

I Can’t Get Close to the Shore I can’t get close to the shore, even though my ocean is you.

Time is not on my side of life’s hour: but your youth and passion runs through my soul like waves of love I keep near my heart. You are my sunrise of passion that beauty stirs in this waken hour as a blooming flower.

Even you are farthough you are near.

My heart stays young like the forever blazing sun.

Candy Kisses and Strawberry Wine Candy kisses And strawberry wine.

She’s my sunrise Smelling of flowers of spring.

Her eyes hold the stars for wishes to bring.

She’s my sun that sets me on fire of a burning passion.

My daydreams of her Has me spinning around Dizzy in love like strawberry wine: Her candy kisses sweet and intoxicating.

She makes my world stir In her beauty deeper than the oceans.

Coming Out: Gay and Free Coming out: gay and free, And not being hidden or not seen.

To express love, to be Without fear, and accomplish goals to believe.

Coming out: Like a blooming flower Of beauty in spring’s hour.

Friends I called her to see how she’s been.

Later I get a knock on my door, Letting her in: Walking across varnish oak floors.

Catching up on old times me and my friend, Laughing like we were kids again, and Acting silly having fun.

Once we had childhood passion Dressing up in our Gender Fashion.

Sneaking a kiss I made her blush.

Talking in the candle light: Shadows dancing in the night.

by Jeff M (MO)

To the Family, Happy New Year!

To all the LGBT family, “Let Me Be Me” I am who I am.

Volume 10, Issue 3

No one should envy, hate, or despise me without cause.

I am me.

You can’t be me.

I can’t be you.

Don’t be jealous of what I can do.

God gave us all something to do, See your life as beauty It is indeed your duty, to be the best person you can be.

As long as you don’t try to be me.

You can see all the beauty you have if you just remember who you are.

You are one, I am one.

Why can’t we live to have fun and to love.

Don’t begrudging over indulging living your life as a lie, Be the rightful person you are and you’ll see how far you have come, being you is true for sure, for it is truth you can’t measure.

Forever a true love to my LGBT family,

Devon

For One Such As Her i found memories of feelings of forgotten dreams. still waiting for love while there goes another. with a choice... what can i do? will the light of day turn these dreams into dust?, or will it fill her heart with Us? feeling like this, i’ve been here before, looking inside where new feelings about. a heart like a river once was a stone, but these feelings they flood me and threaten to drown. now i can’t stop thinkin’ and wondering’ about...

blackandpink.org

and i love the way that she moves like a river that flows, with her bends and her curves. i’d walk every mile of it to see her smile. so is this madness, or is this love? can i not dream of this a little while more. i still remember these feelings, i’ve had ‘em afore, but never before for one such as her.

For Another Type of Girl all of my life i’ve loved a different type of girl. it’s what was normal and it was right. the way it always was until now recently. girls were all over me. it was the norm, and they were mine, or so i thought, until time got piled on top of me. even in my cafe they came to see, but time is cruel and even good loves dip. i’ve grown older in this cage full of men and some quiet different. of the latter, there are those to which i feel attraction, and now i’ve met one i can clearly see into. i cannot sleep, think, or dream of anything-- anyone but her. now i’m filling with love for another type of girl, while the haters say that’s a Dude! but i see a beautiful woman that instead of a pussy has a dick. though i couldn’t care less for what they say, she’s woman enough for me. i would do anything to, instead of bullshit, give her my love. as i tell all of you, her friends and her too, even though she’s not ready for me.

Page 51

i hope she’ll see that there is me who will love and accept her all the way through, and to the end beyond, but she is afraid and has her own issues like me. she might think my love only because of circumstance. still i pray one day she’ll wake up and see that whenever she wants, she’ll never have less than all of me. so are my thoughts, and so are my dreams, to love and be loved by this woman named KoKo For Charmon “KoKo”

by Anthony “Tony” D. (FL) DEFINED Your beauty is completed but your characteristics are defined a star illuminating the night and in the day sun shine extacy imbedded in your features given a glimpse of paradise alluring every man with no chance to think twice your irresistible beauty is no doubt epidemic causing creation to strive and push beyond limits your glorious your wonderful molded without blemish crafted by design from start to finish..

YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL!!!

by Carlton N. (FL)

See me! (1-9-18) What do you see when you look at me?

Do you see the monster they portrayed me to be when they showed me on T.V.?

Would you take the chance to get to know the person who is truly me?

Page 52

know the person who is truly me?

I have made some bad choices, whatever they may b e.

But let me make this clear right now, my charge is not me!

So tell me please, I beg you to see.

See me as a person, Not the monster I’d been made to be.

But truly and honestly see me for me.

Hidden (12-13-17) Dive in to the darkness that I try to keepLet it overcome you as you dream so sweet.

The razor lies just beneath my perfect white sheet.

Sh... Shhh. Don’t wake them will you sneek.

Dripping a crimson trail, your story no one else could ever tell.

Hide the blade before you get caught, don’t forget to make the bleeding stop.

I dove deep in my darkness today, sad to say you’ll find my body motionless, here to stay.

All for my sister friend, for that one I will never be seen again.

Light out (12-13-17) Let it heat up, to the skin, you want it to get stuck.

Wait till everyone is gone, god the time is dragging on.

Red light stops flashing, get excited overwhelmed with the passion.

Hurry up with your walk, this time I won’t get caught.

Take my pant leg and turn round, be sure I find a spot that won’t be found.

Sharp breath at first contact, I promised I would not go out like that.

1, 3, 7, 12 I need more.

Oh shit here’s a homie at my door.

Cover them up so they won’t see, Let the blisters pop, the scabs be

Black & Pink News

pulled off I’m bleeding here.

Release is near I have no fear.

Now may I use your curling iron without you here.

The end (12-13-17) Steady screaming in the dark.

Vicious vicegrip on my barely beating heart.

I knew I was doomed the second I decided to start.

Nobody else as I sit with bleeding heart in hand.

You’d promised to always be my friend.

Sadly your phone is dead as I try to reach you once again.

The bottle empty, the glass down I feel like I’m going to drown.

As these pills go down I stare at the ground, scattered memories here and there.

A knock at my door, I can’t move I can’t scream I lying, dying here on the bathroom floor.

Door broken, no hope I’m choking Last sound as I finally go down.

My last breath to say goodbye.

Tonight was the night to say goodbye.

Blame yourself because I’ve died.

Mess!

Can you see the pain behind my eyes.

Let me bear my hear to you, because it will never lie.

Don’t waste my time by telling me that I’ll be fine.

For we both know the world for us can stop on a dime.

Death is too common just like doing time.

Show me your scars and I’ll show you mine.

Time travel to a better time.

Take a hit feel the click, deep breath and rewind.

Automatic fast forward to a hole in the ground.

April 2019

Try to stifle all the crying and sad sounds.

Lower that cherry box six feet deep into the ground.

Another mother, brother, sister, or lover laid to rest.

More disappointed cause they tried their best but you never would have guessed.

This is where the best lay and rest.

All this for sudden death.

What’s left but a fucking mess.

Our dance (10-28-17) With no music, but the beat of our own hearts.

Not knowing how to ask, or even where to start.

A steady stare, but deep within I shake with fear.

Deep steadying breath, I decide to take the risk.

No time like the present to ask you this.

With no music, crowd or not, would you do me one honor even though I don’t kno where to start?

Would you take my hand and trust me to guide you?

Would you give me the honor of one dance, fo rI know I would.

Together for this moment of future unknown.

Both not afraid to let a little weakness show.

So answer me this because I need to know.

If I asked you to dance, would you say no?

Choices (1-6-18) We all have choices, we all know that much is true.

Please allow me to share some of mine with you.

I chose each day how much bullshit I will take.

I chose how I want to show my strengths.

I chose to give my work my best.

blackandpink.org

Volume 10, Issue 3

I chose to treat the others with respect.

I chose to be as honest with you as I am with myself.

I chose my own fate no matter how great.

I chose to prove I will fight to be free.

I make my choices, that’s freedom to me.

My past, my future are part of me.

But right now I chose to be a better me.

Be mine (2-7-18) I have dreams of silence.

No screams, no sound, no violence.

But to whom is my demise with.

Sudden tide flip.

Over board whirlwind.

Someone’s screaming.

Deep inside a heart starts beating.

Bleeding in the shadows of the night.

No need to fight, I know you came to show me I am still alive.

In a sense of doing time.

I thank you for being mine.

My beautiful Valentine.

Untitled (2-20-18) A life filled with suicidal hate.

Let me examine myself as I try to explain.

What I see is the person people believe I should be.

But not the person I inside, which is the true me.

For years I’ve tried to fit in a mold for which I was not designed.

I try to hie the man I am inside by making a feminine side.

Yet no one has seen the other side, for every night I’d cry and cry.

Lacking courage as it was, the blade or lighter gave me a reassuring hug.

But now I have a voice not yet crystal clear.

I am learning how to use it and to

speak without fear.

I am finally nearing the real me.

Would you come on this journey with me?

by Gabriel Lucian F. (ID)

Intolerable, Irrevokable, Irresistable, Indifference The machine is grinding us up into pieces soon there will be nothing left!

They just close their eyes and you die your family cries, why The machine does not care!

Try to get out, beware! the battle is slow, oh so slow.

Who can you cry to no King to ask 100 times Finally the answer comes...

Indifference, intolerable All I have is my pen all I have is my pencil.

All I have is my mind all I have is my spirit to go free!

I am hungry but you will not feed me you show me food, you say it is mine But you set it up high way out of reach.

Finally the answer comes...

Irrevokable, indifference If I say you are hurting me you say I am resisting!

If I demand my rights you say I am unrehabilitated!

You say to be patient just your word for do NOT struggle How much more can I give how much more is in the tank?

Finally the answer comes...

Irresistable, irrevokable

Page 53

Try to get out, beware!

Am I demanding my rights?

The others say shhh do not say such a thing you will only make them angry!

I have only one goal Freedom!

Finally the answer comes...

Intolerable, irresistable Irrevokable, indifference

by Richard M. (LA)

hold on to me and I’ll hold on to you through anything and everything life brings our way bring me your worries and I will listen with my heart tell me what you need and I’ll do my best to give it to you Love Me even when it isn’t easy and I promise to do the same for you

by Tony C. A. (WA)

artwork courtesy of Sofia Zabala via amplifier.org (Hear Our Voice)

Page 54

April 2019

Black & Pink News

PRIDE ISSUE RESPONSES For our 2019 Pride News Issue we want to hear from you! It is the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall Riots, so we are remembering our powerful past, while looking toward our resilient future.

Please send us a response to the following question and we will include this community dialogue in the submission pages of the June News! Make sure to include “June Feedback” on the front of your envelope.

What does Pride mean to you?

Call for Submissions Seeking erotic short stories, poems, and art by Black & Pink incarcerated and free-world family members for a new zine. To be mailed, art cannot include full nudity. Please send submissions (and shout out to the authors from the first issue mailed in January!) addressed to Black & Pink — HOT PINK. This is a voluntary project, and no money will be offered for submissions, but you might get the chance to share your spicy story with many other readers! The zine will be sent one or two times per year.

To subscribe to upcoming issues of HOT PINK, write to our address, Black & Pink — HOT PINK.

Black & Pink Mailing Information Write to us at: Black & Pink — [see table below] 6223 Maple St # 4600 Omaha, NE 68104 Please note that you can send multiple requests/ topics in one envelope! Due to concerns about consent and confidentiality, you cannot sign up other people for the newspaper. However, we can accept requests from multiple people in the same envelope. There’s no need to send separate requests in more than one envelope.

If you are being released and would still like to receive the Black & Pink News, please let us know where to send it!

Penpal program info: LGBTQ prisoners can list their information and a short non-sexual ad online where free-world people can see it and decide to write. There will be forms in upcoming issues.

Mail info: We are several months behind on our mail. There will be a delay, but please keep writing!

Email us: members@blackandpink.org

If you would like to request: If you would like to request:

Address the envelope to: Address the envelope to:

Newspaper Subscriptions, Penpal Program, Address Change, or Black & Pink — General Volunteering Newspaper Submissions — Stories, Articles, Poems, Art

Black & Pink — Newspaper Submissions

Black & Pink Organization or Newspaper Feedback

Black & Pink — Feedback

Black & Pink Religious Zine

Black & Pink — The Spirit Inside

Advocacy Requests (include details about the situation and thoughts about how calls or letters might help)

Black & Pink — Advocacy

Submit to or request Erotica Zine

Black & Pink — HOT PINK

Stop Your Newspaper Subscription

Black & Pink — STOP Subscription

*

artwork courtesy of Melanie Cervantes via justseeds.org

NONPROFIT ORGANIZATION U.S. POSTAGE PAID BOSTON, MA PERMIT NO. 1475