23. Limiting Alternate Realities

When we hear the term “alternate realities,” we tend to think of the stories offered to us by pop culture: science fiction, thrillers and other such genres, partners in crime in tempting us to dream of more exciting scenarios for the human being to exist in. But these ideas and theories are the brainchild of others. What of the ones we cook up in the private confines of our own minds on a daily basis? These exist closer to home, revolving around our personal aspirations. These are the comfortable alternatives we tend to often slip into or aspire for. These are the love child of the frequent affairs of reality and expectations. These are daydreams.

We see ourselves being more and achieving more. They cushion and comfort us, assuring us of better approaching times. But is it possible that somewhere this comfort has become an addiction? Do they attune us to think bigger and beyond possible limits in such a way that impacts us negatively? Do they compromise our happiness? Do they perhaps widen the gap of disappointment and guilt that exists between our ‘ordinary’ human lives and the “Great Perhaps” we strive to reach for?

Nat Ware, a Rhodes Scholar based at Oxford University talks about an “expectation gap” because of which we “make decisions based on actual outcomes…but our happiness depends on relative outcomes.” One could counter this idea with the argument, “If people don’t dream big, then they won’t achieve big.” Fair enough. But we need become alert to the possibility, that in the process of ‘dreaming big’, our expectations have the power to wrench away the reins from logic and gallop amok. That, sometimes, we may end up setting ourselves with more than we can handle and collapse under the pressure of living up to that ‘perfect version’ of our lives. Nat Ware adds, “having unrealistically high expectations means that we’re less satisfied with the most likely outcome. So it’s a trade off between increasing the probability of success and increasing the likelihood that we’ll be unhappy.”

It is time that we pay attention to the power of expectations, which can become dominant, if allowed. The alternate reality in our heads should be encouraged to stay reasonably ahead of the one we live in. But not so far ahead that it sprints off, leaving the actual one coughing and spluttering behind, unable to ever come close, forget catching up.

Arushi Chadha

I Year