“Icarus” by Sophia Tuminaro

Inspired by the 1968 Observation of 1566 Icarus

By Sophia Tuminaro

The Washington Post September 22nd, 1968 “On the morning of June 14, 1968 a group of hippies fled into the mountains of Colorado to wait for Doomsday…”

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Good morning New York! I’m John McDonalhan and this is your ABC morning show. It's eighty degrees out there and it’s looking to be another beautiful day, perfect for getting some fresh air with the family! And speaking of family time outdoors, wasn’t Icarus beautiful last night, folks? Ya know, Jim, I took the kiddos outside to look at it through the telescope, it was just gorgeous.

It sure was, John. Scientists say that it is going to be around four million miles from the Earth’s atmosphere today, so folks, if you didn’t get a chance to see Icarus last night, you will have the opportunity to see it tonight with the naked eye. So grab the wife and kids and fire up the ol' BBQ grill because this is the event of the century!

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*CLICK* For this morning only, CBS has an exclusive report on the communities of young adults camping out in the Rockies waiting on the supposed “end of the world.” Are these kids rightfully cautious? Or are they just part of the hippie movement that has plagued the minds of our youth? Robert Thomas has the latest, Robert?

Thank you, Gary! I’m here in the Rocky Mountains with a group of teens who claim that the government is keeping the truth about your welfare from you. They came up here four months ago and now live out of the flower-painted vans you see here. Their reasoning? That this is the safest place in the country from Icarus.

“Savannah.”

And why are you living out of a van, Savannah? “Your government is lying-psssssssssttttt- Icarus is going to hit us! Any day now- the caves nearby are perfect security when it happens. You think we’re crazy now, Mister, but you won’t be laughing when you're dead!”

Oh…ha ha ha. How many of you are living here?

“There’s about 200 of us in total.”

So how are you able to survive out here in the wilderness for so long?

“We came up here with plenty of frozen food. Unfortunately, Jimmy’s toaster oven broke in the first week, so we’ve been laying the TV dinners on top of the van and letting the sun scorch them. We managed to find an old well down the road that we’ve been using for water.”

Well, you heard it here, folks! If you are ever in the mood for frozen food on a camping trip, the roof works great. Back to you, Gary!

“Wait, it's coming! We’re all going to die!”

Hey! Hey! Hands off the camera you stupid, flagburners! Hey! Stop! PSSSSSSSSTTTT

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—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------The New York Times September 23rd, 1968 “Hippies Flee to Colorado as Icarus Nears Earth; Hundreds Camping in Boulder Out of Fear Icarus Will Collide With Planet"

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------BEEP zzzzzzzZZZzzzz “Dr. Greene, we cannot keep Icarus off for long. We need to destroy it! It was four million miles from Earth yesterday at 10:00 pm. Today it is merely three million miles away. One million miles! It moved one million miles in less than a day! We can’t even calculate the coordinates of where

it’ll hit. The boys at NASA are proposing that we attach seven missiles to a rocket ship and fire at Icarus so it can break up before it hits the states.”

zzzzZzZZZZzzzzzz BEEP zzzzzZZzzzzzzZZZZZz “That will not work. The asteroid pieces would already be in the Earth’s atmosphere and hurtle towards the ground at a faster speed. Breaking it up would just multiply the danger to the American citizens.”

ZZzzzzzzzZZZZZzZZ BEEP zzzzZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz “But Sir, what are we going to tell the President? He told us to solve the issue before the public goes into a state of panic.”

BEEP zzzZZZzzzzzzzz “Finch, you’re the Secretary of Defense. You figure out what we’re going to tell him. Hello? Hello Finch? Hello?”

zzzzzzZZZZzzzzz

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------The Wall Street Journal September 24th, 1968 “Closest Asteroid in History Graces the Skies”

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Icarus is currently two million miles away from us, isn’t that amazing? Now although this is a bit alarming, the US Department of Defense has confirmed that it is completely safe and that the asteroid will miss the Earth. However, as we learned from our friends, the Russians, it doesn’t hurt to review how to duck and cover, so here’s our Emmy award-winning PSA proudly sponsored by Pepsi.

To the tune of “Let’s All Go to the Lobby”

“Let’s all duck and cover! Let’s all duck and cover! Let’s all duck and cover and kick the Russian’s…”PSSSSST

*CLICK*

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------The Boston Globe September 25th, 1968 “Asteroid Icarus Hits Colorado, Hundreds Killed”