THE PREMIER PARENTING MAGAZINE FOR CENTRAL ALABAMA
FREE
MAY 2015
MAKING COLLEGE DECISIONS: What Parents Should Consider
MIKE ROWE Talks Tech and Trade Careers
DO YOU VOLUNTEER? Do College Admission Boards Care?
College & Career Planning Guide INSIDE
WHAT BEING A MOM MEANS: Area Celebrity Moms Weigh In PRENATAL NUTRITION & YOU
table of contents THE PREMIER PARENTING MAGAZINE FOR CENTRAL ALABAMA
FREE
COLLEGE & CAREER PLANNING GUIDE 16
MAKING COLLEGE DECISIONS: What Parents Should Consider
MIKE ROWE Talks Tech and Trade Careers
DO YOU VOLUNTEER? Do College Admission Boards Care?
9
WHAT BEING A MOM MEANS: Area Celebrity Moms Weigh In
College & Career Planning Guide
PRENATAL NUTRITION & YOU
INSIDE
14 20 30 24
departments Note 04 Editor’s Welcome to the May Issue of Birmingham Parent
07
Parenting with Dr. Friedman
8 Short Stuff 0 09 School News 26 A Page in a Book: the Specialist: 28 Ask Is It Time to Consider Surgical Weight-Loss? Perfect: 38 Party A Party to Celebrate
9
Adoption
41
May 2015 Calendar of Events
Party: 46 Poetry I Like Poems!
features BOOK 24 BABY Prenatal Health
14
20
Mike Rowe Talks Technical and Trade Careers
Volunteering in High School: Do College Admissions Boards Really Care?
16 Making College Decisions: What Parents Should Consider
BEING 30 WHAT A MOTHER MEANS: Local Celebrity Moms Weigh In GUIDE: 34 DESTINATION The Beach Club, Orange Beach, Pensacola
TO GO OR NOT TO GO: A Look at Four-Year College Alternatives PAGE 18
ON THE COVER: Breanna, age 16, of Birmingham, is making graduation and college decisions during her junior year of high school. PHOTO BY KIM BRANTLEY PHOTOGRAPHY, www.kimbrantleyphotography.com.
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parenting
Parenting with Dr. Friedman
Q:
A classmate of mine in high school is eating a half gallon of ice cream and then making herself vomit. She doesn’t do this every day but about once per week. She also thinks that she is ugly and fat in spite of her being normal weight and attractive. She thinks her nose is too big and is crooked and her thighs are too fat. Her friends know about her purging but she doesn’t want them to tell her parents. Is this behavior dangerous even though she does not do it often? Should we tell her parents? Your friend has an emotional disorder called bulimia nervosa. It is a serious eating disorder that is associated with increased rates of suicide and accidental death. Do not assume that she is safe because she tells you that she is not doing it often. You do not really know the truth about the frequency of her bingeing. While it sometimes feels good to be on the inside of a secret that a friend has shared, some secrets are dangerous to keep. Your friend needs help and may in fact, be telling you that she does, by confiding in you. She may be secretly hoping that you will go to her parents or to the guidance counselor at school. You need to tell a responsible adult and not bear the news alone. You need to do this soon. Bulimia is a disorder that involves bingeing and purging. The person binge eats and vomits or misuses laxatives to get rid of the calories. The person usually has a distorted self-image and feels unattractive when not thin. Unlike another eating
disorder – anorexia nervosa – bulimics typically have normal weight. Bulimics are often depressed, lonely (even when they appear to have friends), ashamed and feel empty. Friends may describe this person as fun to be with but inside the bulimic feels defective. Because impulse control is a part of bulimia, some bulimics may have other symptoms of impulse control such as shoplifting, alcohol and drug abuse, and sexual acting out. Many young alcohol abusers also have eating disorders of one type or another. Both are attempts to deal with depression and emotional emptiness. Some eating disorders reflect ambivalence about growing up and assuming an independent adult or a sexual role. Some bulimics are overly dependent upon their parents or paradoxically, have not had enough attention from their families so they are not ready to move on to the next stage of life. Ninety percent of patients with eating disorders are female and 10
percent are male. Most often, the problem starts in the teenage years or the early twenties. In addition to your friend’s bulimia, she has some traits of “body dysmorphic disorder.” Persons with BDD are excessively concerned with appearance and are not reassured by admiring friends or family. In some cases, they may undergo unnecessary plastic surgery but they are rarely satisfied with the results. They are at an elevated risk for suicide and nearly always suffer from depression. You must tell either the girl’s parents or another adult who is responsible and involved with your friend. If that person doesn’t take action, keep on telling until someone does. The school guidance counselor might be a good place to start. Your friend is emotionally troubled and you cannot help her alone. Despite her request for secrecy, she is asking for your help in letting an adult know. She told you because she is scared about her secret.
Vivian K. Friedman Ph. D. is a child and family psychologist at UAB, Department of Psychiatry. Send questions for response in this column to Viviankf@gmail.com. No personal replies are sent.
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