THE PREMIER PARENTING MAGAZINE FOR CENTRAL ALABAMA
FREE
MARCH 2015
THE
ABLE ACT Helps Kids with Special Needs
Alabaster's Rilee Thurber Faces
Dwarfism Head-On
SECTION PAGE 12
Kayla Perry: Girl on a
MISSION AGAINST CANCER
The Special Needs Directory
MARCH2015 FREE
THE PREMIER PARENTING MAGAZINE FOR CENTRAL ALABAMA
MARCH 2015
THE
18 ABLE ACT
SECTION
Helps Kids with Special Needs
22
12
THE SPECIAL NEEDS DIRECTORY SPRING 2015
Kayla Perry: Girl on a
MISSION AGAINST CANCER
Alabaster's Rilee Thurber Faces
Dwarfism Head-On
ISSUE PAGE 12
18
The Special Needs Directory
24 12
departments
THE ABLE ACT
Note 04 Editor’s Happy Birthday to
26
Birmingham Parent: Celebrating 12 Years
PARENTS AS TEACHERS PROGRAM AT UCP
07 08 09 10
Parenting with Dr. Friedman School News Short Stuff Ask the Specialist: An Ounce of Prevention is Better Than a Pound of Cure
38 A Page in a Book:
The Gift of Grandparents
41
March 2015 Calendar of Events
46 Poetry Party:
Poems About Bugs!
22
24
20
31 34
Cover Kids Finalists 2015 Give Your Child the Gift of Summer Camp
destination guide
RILEE THURBER FACES DWARFISM HEAD-ON
FIGHTING FOR A CURE: KAYLA PERRY’S MISSION AGAINST CANCER
HOW TO MAXIMIZE THE POTENTIAL OF YOUR CHILD WITH ADHD
ON THE COVER: Louisa, age 5, is a student at Helena Elementary. She enjoys being a regular student, despite her disability. PHOTO BY MEREDITH BRIDGEWATER PHOTOGRAPHY.
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Traveling with Fido Destination Guide: Deals for Spring & Summer Travel
parenting
Parenting with Dr. Friedman
I
was standing in line to pay at a selfservice shoe store when I observed the following scene. A girl, who appeared to be about 10 or 11 years old, came up to the cash register opposite mine. She slid her box of shoes onto the counter and knocked another box off the counter. About a hundred one-inch plastic tags that had been in that box scattered on the floor. The child did not apologize or make any effort to pick up the pieces. She stood there and grinned. Her father, who had witnessed the whole incident, with a big smile said to the cashier, “Well, I guess my daughter taught you a lesson about leaving your box on the counter.” Father and daughter walked away to another part of the store to continue shopping. This was such a perfect example of bad parenting that I could not resist writing about it. This father taught his child negative behavior and also failed to use an opportunity to teach her pro-social action. Even a five-year-old child knows to apologize when he or she has caused someone else distress. This father not only tolerated his child’s lack of manners, but he failed to use the “teachable moment” to correct her. He then went on to actively instruct her on how to blame others when she was at fault. Psychologists call this projecting blame. The child who cannot own her own
mistakes will spend her life feeling that she is a victim each time she is not chosen or promoted. She will not look inside herself to see what she might do differently to cause a better outcome the next time. She will be powerless. In contrast, the child who knows when she owns the blame is empowered because she has only to behave differently the next time to get the outcome she desires. The choice, and therefore the power, is hers.
The problem would have been resolved and the child would have felt some closure. Instead this father left his child to bear the stares of a line of incredulous people, several of whom commented out loud on the father’s poor parenting. The father, who meant to protect his daughter, created ridicule for her. Children who don’t behave in accordance with the basic social rules are rejected
The child who cannot own her own mistakes will spend her life feeling that she is a victim each time she is not chosen or promoted. This child’s smile might not have been one of defiance but rather one of embarrassment. The father’s blaming the clerk did not address or relieve his daughter’s shame. She would likely have felt more relieved had she been given the opportunity to right the wrong. Had her dad said, “Please apologize to the cashier and help her pick up the pieces,” he would have guided his child into an action that would have resolved her guilty feelings. The cashier is likely to have replied something to the effect of, “That’s OK. You didn’t mean to do it. It was just an accident.”
by those around them. If this child had done this to a peer in front of other classmates, they would have told her that she was rude. They would most likely have sided with the wronged child against the one who behaved without remorse. She would have lost social status in her class, if not permanently, at least for the moment. When you teach children how to behave in a way that is fair and thoughtful of others, you give them skills for life. Only part of life success is determined by what you know. The rest is about how you get along with others.
Vivian K. Friedman Ph. D. is a child and family psychologist at UAB, Department of Psychiatry. Send questions for response in this column to Viviankf@gmail.com. No personal replies are sent.
F ASA 2015 Adventures in Summer Learning
June 1-19 Pre-Algebra Algebra I June 1-5 Theatre Arts Kodu: Game Programming Android App Programming Environmental Engineering Civil Engineering Hydrobotics Engineering Design
June 8-12 Creative Writing Music Hydrobotics Engineering Design Kodu: Game Programming Civil Engineering Environmental Engineering June 15-19 Theater Auditioning Tips & Techniques Visual Arts Rise of the Green Machine: Engineering
ALABAMA SCHOOL OF FINE ARTS 1800 Reverend Abraham Woods, Jr. Boulevard
June 15-19 cont. Environmental Engineering Kodu: Game Programming Environmental Engineering July 6-17 Young Dancer Intensive See www.asfa.k12.al.us for camp descriptions, grade requirements, times, fees and online registration.
Birmingham, AL 35203 205.252.9241 www.asfa.k12.al.us birminghamparent.com | 7