THE PREMIER PARENTING MAGAZINE FOR CENTRAL ALABAMA
FREE
FEBRUARY 2014
THE
BIG CAMP ISSUE
Introducing
SCHOOL NEWS
GOING TO THE DENTIST: The First Time Adventure
Follow the CIVIL RIGHTS Trail
GEARING UP FOR CAMP: Pack What They Need & Leave the Rest at Home
HELP FOR HOMESICKNESS AT CAMP 2014 CAMP DIRECTORY
FEBRUARY2014 Athletic Adventures Await at Summer Sports Camps
FREE
THE PREMIER PARENTING MAGAZINE FOR CENTRAL ALABAMA
FEBRUARY 2014
THE
26
BIG CAMP ISSUE
8 38 36
Introducing
SCHOOL NEWS
GOING TO THE DENTIST: The First Time Adventure
GEARING UP FOR CAMP: Pack What They Need & Leave the Rest at Home
HELP FOR HOMESICKNESS AT CAMP
Follow the CIVIL RIGHTS Trail
2014 CAMP DIRECTORY
10 18 12
departments
10 Gearing Up for Camp: Pack
15 Camp Club Member
12 Birmingham Parent’s 2014
18 Help for Homesickness
What They Need & Leave the Rest At Home
Summer Camp Directory
at Away Camp
36
Full Swing in Mobile,
Birthplace of Mardi Gras
36 Black History Month
Discover Civil Rights History
48
34
Discover Civil Rights History
34 The Celebration is in
Advertorials
Celebration is in Full Swing
38 Going to the Dentist
First Time Adventure
42 Calling All Room Moms: A Valentine's Day Party Plan
04
Editor’s Note Welcome to the Camp Issue
07
Parenting with Dr. Friedman
08
School News
28
February Pull Out Calendar
30
February Expanded Calendar of Events
46
Ask the Specialist: Can Certain Foods Help Fight Cancer?
54
Death by Children: Driving Miss Crazy
Raising Awareness for Rare Diseases
48 Five Moms One Mission: Raising awareness for Rare Diseases
50 The Smell of Puberty
How to Help Tweens Understand Hygiene
ON OUR COVER: Vivian, age 6, of Mount Olive loves art. She is photographed here at the Birmingham Museum of Art in their Contemporary Gallery. Backdrop is “Bonjour Julie” (1971), Joan Mitchell, American (1925-1992). . Art is just one of the many camp options for children this spring and summer. Photo by Donald Love Photography , www. dlovephotography.com, 205-902-5357. Vivian is one of the “Cover Kids” selected from the November fall family fest in Homewood.
6 | birminghamparent | february 2014
parenting
Parenting with Dr. Friedman I frequently provide child care for my sister’s children who are ages two and three. She leaves them with me for several days at a time including overnight. My children, who are four and six, were much more independent at the ages of my niece and nephew. My sister’s children don’t make any attempt to dress themselves but simply expect me to dress them. My children by age three could put on their own clothes and I had only to button their pants and tie their laces. With four children age six and under in my care, I need the children to do what they can for themselves. Is my sister remiss in not teaching them to be independent or am I expecting too much?
Q:
It sounds like you are quite busy with four very young children. The expectations placed on children for independence tend to run with the burdens of the caretaker. That is, a mother of a single child, or two children widely spaced, tends to do more for the child than does the mother of several young children or a caretaker in a daycare setting. The less time and energy available for the child, the more he is expected to do for himself. Not only does spacing and the number of children in the care of one caretaker determine the amount of autonomy expected, but birth order does too. We tend to expect more of the first child and call him “the big boy,” but the youngest child tends to be called “the baby.” These labels tend to affect self-perception throughout life.
A:
There are plusses and minuses to either situation. The child dressed by the caretaker tends to be less independent at a young age and tends to have fewer self-help skills. Yet if he is loved rather than smothered, and if he is allowed to grow as he marches on in chronological age, he will benefit from the years of nurturance. He will tend to be sweeter in nature from having been nurtured. Early, forced autonomy tends to produce tougher children. Whether toughness is good or bad is a matter of opinion and the circumstances the child encounters later in life. The child expected to be independent will seem more mature at a younger age. He might or might not maintain these gains as he grows. If he feels deprived, he may demand attention and nurturance later, when develop-
mentally it may seem less appropriate. Depending upon temperament, some children forced to autonomy at an early age become angry. Instead of developing autonomy, they develop a lifelong pattern of seeking and demanding nurturance from others. Addictive and alcoholic personalities are examples of this. I tend to favor nurturing children when they are young so that they can develop a sense of being valued and loved. This allows them to move on to appropriate independence as they get older. If you are overwhelmed, you might want your sister to take more responsibility for her children. It probably is not realistic to expect children ages two and three to completely dress themselves and there is no particular advantage to their mastering these skills before their time.
Vivian K. Friedman Ph. D. is a child and family psychologist at UAB, Department of Psychiatry. Send questions for response in this column to Viviankf@gmail.com. No personal replies are sent.
JUNE 2 - 6 Theatre Arts (grades 4-6) Kodu: Game Programming (grades 5-8) Molecular Biology (grades 6-8) Hydrobotics (grades 6-8) Biotechnology (grades 6-8) JUNE 9 -13 Creative Writing (grades 5-10) Basic Musicianship (grades 5-7) Theatre Arts (grades 7-9) Hydrobotics (grades 6-8) Chemtastic (grades 6-8) Kodu: Game Programming (grades 5-8) Envirolab (grades 6-8)
JUNE 16-20 Visual Arts (grades 5-8) Intermediate Musicianship (grades 7-8) Green Innovations (grades 6-8) Civil Engineering (grades 6-8) Computer Programming: Android App Camp (grades 6-8) JUNE 2-20 Pre-Algebra (grades 7-9) Algebra I (grades 8-10)
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