THE PREMIER PARENTING MAGAZINE FOR CENTRAL ALABAMA
FREE
APRIL 2014
DOUBLE LOVE
DOUBLE TROUBLE: ALL ABOUT TWINS
destination:
MOBILE SUPERNANNY Jo Frost Helps Bring Baby Home
WHAT'S IN p16
A NAME?
APRIL2014
22
THE PREMIER PARENTING MAGAZINE FOR CENTRAL ALABAMA
FREE
All About Twins
APRIL 2014
DOUBLE LOVE
DOUBLE TROUBLE: ALL ABOUT TWINS
destination:
MOBILE
16
SUPERNANNY Jo Frost Helps Bring Baby Home
WHAT'S IN p16
A NAME?
22
34 14
departments
babybook 13 16
16
14
24
14
04
Editor’s Note Welcome to our Baby Book
07
Parenting with Dr. Friedman
08 09 20 26
School News
32
Ask the Specialist: Why Am I Not Getting Pregnant?
34
Destination: Mobile, Alabama
38
Death by Children: Flying & Crying
Short Stuff April Pull Out Calendar April Expanded Calendar of Events
Mobile, Alabama
BRINGING BABY HOME: Supernanny Reveals How to Help Siblings Accept the New Baby
BABY & ME DIRECTORY Find great baby-related shops and services
WHAT’S IN A NAME? What are the baby name trends for 2014?
ON OUR COVER: ABC 33/40 Meteorologist Charles Daniel and twin sons Harrison and Ingram, age 6 months, are “double trouble” on the set at ABC 33/40, and double the love. PHOTO BY AMANDA TRAYWICK, www.amandatraywick.com. 6 | birminghamparent | april 2014
34
parenting
Parenting with Dr. Friedman We moved to Birmingham just before the start of this school year. My ninth grade son continues to mope and has not made any real friends. He compares everything to home and finds everything not quite as good as it was there. Even though he is in an excellent school system, he thinks all his classes in his old school were better. I may be guilty of furthering his attitude because I, too, miss our old city. How do I help him to make his way here?
Q:
You and your son seem to be suffering from what I call “newcomer syndrome.” While there are many different ways to do things, when people move to a new place they tend to define the correct way to do a task or view an issue as the way it was done in their old town. No matter how good the new way or place may be, if it is not exactly like it was at home, it is wrong. Until time passes, and the new ways and places become familiar and accepted, the new place seems awkward, wrong, and unfamiliar. People vary in their openness to change. Some people cling to old ways longer than others. Even under the best of adaptability, it often takes one to two years to feel completely at home. The child’s age determines, in part, the length of the period of adjustment. Preschoolers make friends easily and quickly forget their old home.
A:
In grades K-3, children are open to new friends and most children with adequate social skills are quickly accepted. The very fact that they attend school and are introduced to peers often makes the adjustment easier for the child than for the adult. As long as the family structure is in place, and the move is not due to a divorce or other trauma, children will soon adjust to their new room, new teacher, and new class. Teens are much slower to adjust to change. Because they are so sensitive to doing things exactly as their peers do, it takes time to figure out the new style and to blend in to new ways. To fit in, they feel they must be just like the others. Since the new town is likely to be different, and different at this age is bad, it can take time to adjust. You can help him by keeping an open attitude about the new ways of doing things. If you make fun of, for
example, the lack of a beach here, then your son will also view his new home as lacking. If, on the other hand, you take the attitude that, “Well, we lost the beach but gained the beautiful hills and trees,” your son may also begin to find something he likes. Most adjustment problems are within the person but some may be aggravated by the environment. Birmingham is an area of many different neighborhoods. It is hard to have a sense of the different neighborhoods when you first come to find a place to live, but after a few months here if you still don’t adapt, you may find that a different neighborhood may suit your needs better. Teens adjust best to school when they find a small subset of the larger group. Capitalize on a talent or interest, such as band or theater, and help him to find others who share this with him.
Vivian K. Friedman Ph. D. is a child and family psychologist at UAB, Department of Psychiatry. Send questions for response in this column to Viviankf@gmail.com. No personal replies are sent.
When you imagine their future - Imagine a beautiful smile!
Three convenient locations to serve you!
Deborah A Sema D.M.D., M.S. specialist in orthodontics
205-942-2270 www.ovortho.com
Great smiles for children... and Mom & Dad Too!
CLEAR BRACES, INVISALIGN, AND INVISALIGN TEEN
415 West Oxmoor Road Birmingham 5751 Pocahontas Road Bessemer 3045 Independence Dr. Homewood birminghamparent.com | 7