THE PREMIER PARENTING MAGAZINE FOR CENTRAL ALABAMA
FREE
JULY 2016
winners
AND THE ARE...
OUR 2016
FAMILY FAVORITES AWARDS ANNOUNCED
table of contents FREE
THE PREMIER PARENTING MAGAZINE FOR CENTRAL ALABAMA
Family Favorite
JULY 2016
winners
AND THE ARE...
2016
OUR 2016
FAMILY FAVORITES AWARDS ANNOUNCED
departments Note 04 Editor’s And the Winners Are...
Who are Your
Family Favorites? 34
Family Travel Visit Southern California with CityPASS
44
Family Fun Take the Kids Fishing
Parenting with Dr. Friedman
08
Short Stuff
the Specialist 40 Ask Be Safe This Summer with These Safety Tips
page 10 38
College Corner Creating a Standout Summer for the College Application Process
ON THE COVER: Rylea, age 5, of Clanton, is an award winner, just like our Family Favorites Award winners this month. Dress courtesy of Glitz and Gowns by Missy, Alabaster. Photo by Visual Arts by Jessica, www.visualartsbyjessica.com, 205-396-9090.
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July Calendar Highlights
48
July Calendar of Events
Party: 54 Poetry Moon Poems
10
parenting
Parenting with Dr. Friedman
Q:
My seven-year-old daughter is in a school play to be performed for the parents at an end-of-the-school-year assembly. She is very worried about appearing in front of an audience and is having stomach aches on rehearsal days. She didn’t have this fear a
few years ago when she was in preschool. Why does she suddenly have stage fright? What can I do to help her calm down? School-age children are in a developmental phase where mastery of skills is the basis of their self-esteem. The seven-year-old is afraid of missing lines or entrances and of looking silly to peers and parents. Stage fright is, in part, a fear of failure. Rather than the fear of failure that an older child has, the younger child’s fear is a fear of separation from the parent. For the younger child, performing involves being away from mother, up on a stage, separated from the audience. He is not afraid of forgetting his lines. He is afraid of being unable to get to mom when he needs her. Teachers can make the separation between actor and audience less by not putting young children up on a stage. Preschool performances work better when they are in the child’s classroom than when the whole school performs at the same time in an auditorium which the child does not use during his regular school day.
To reduce stage fright in the older child, use an approach that minimizes the “big moment.” Making the performance just a continuation of rehearsals, rather than an end point, will help to lessen the pressure. Broaden the experience for your child to take the focus off performance. Introduce your child to making costumes and stage sets and teach her that this is an important part of the production. Make the rehearsals an end point in themselves without emphasizing that they are just preparation for one special performance. Not all children will experience stage fright. Many children just love to be in front of an audience and hear the applause. You can reassure a fearful child that the audience is not there to criticize or even to watch her. Remind her that each parent is there to see his or her own child. Most children worry about not remembering their lines. You can lessen this anxiety with
adequate preparation. Help your child to rehearse, but don’t put too much pressure on them or you will give the message that perfect memory is important. Give your child alternatives. Tell her that if she can’t remember her lines exactly to just tell the story in her own words. Most teachers have people backstage to cue children who forget. Tell your child that she can listen to the person cuing her if she has trouble. If a child is severely anxious about stage performance, it might be best to give her a choice about taking an onstage role or not. This choice needs to be made before rehearsals start if at all possible, so that a decision to drop out does not hurt the whole group. Ask her teacher to let her make the stage sets or the costumes so that she feels like a part of the group effort. While not all children grow up to love public speaking as adults, most do get over the intense shyness that some chil-
dren experience in the early grade school years. As with most things, growth and development are on the child’s side. Fear is likely to decrease with increasing age. Vivian K. Friedman Ph. D. is a child and family psychologist at UAB, Department of Psychiatry. Send questions for response in this column to Viviankf@gmail. com. No personal replies are sent.
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JUNE 6-AUGUST 5
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