FREE
THE PREMIER PARENTING MAGAZINE FOR CENTRAL ALABAMA
JUNE 2016
ULTIMATE BIRTHDAY PARTY GUIDE
10 IDEAS FOR
PARTY BAGS HAVE A
"LATE-OVER"PARTY
26 PARTY
THEMES
table of contents FREE
THE PREMIER PARENTING MAGAZINE FOR CENTRAL ALABAMA
JUNE 2016
12 18 14
ULTIMATE BIRTHDAY PARTY GUIDE
10 IDEAS FOR
PARTY BAGS HAVE A
"LATE-OVER"PARTY
26
PARTY
THEMES
departments Note 04 Editor’s Editing Your Life
07
PAGE 20
ULTIMATE BIRTHDAY PARTY GUIDE PAGE 12
SIMPLE CELEBRATIONS FROM A TO Z:
26 THEMES FOR YOUR CHILD’S NEXT BIRTHDAY
Parenting with Dr. Friedman
8 Short Stuff 0 in a Book: 30 AThePage Power of One Word 33
June Calendar Highlights
34
June Calendar of Events
Party: 38 Poetry Wild Flowers
features
28
18
14
16 Girls Rock! A “Late-Over” Party for Your Tween-age Daughter
Oh Boy! Host a “Late Over” Party for Your Son
It’s in the Bag: 10 Ideas for Party Bags and Favors
ON THE COVER: Illustration by Melissa Schultz-Jones of Birmingham, http://melissashultz-jones.com.
6 | birminghamparent | june 2016
24 DESTINATION GUIDE Taking on San Diego with Your Family
28 EFFECTIVE STEP-FATHERING
20
parenting
Parenting with Dr. Friedman
Q:
Our 14-year-old child has recently been diagnosed with juvenile diabetes. She is upset about the changes in her life, the hospitalizations, the painful procedures and the fact that she is now different from her friends. How can I best help her adjust to this news?
While some parents assume that their child is devastated by a diagnosis, for some children the diagnosis comes as a relief. Typically, the child has felt ill and has had low energy for some time before the diagnosis is made. She might have even been seen as faking her frequent symptoms. The child feels vindicated to have an illness that has a name. With a defined disease, the unknown future becomes somewhat more predictable. This is not to say that either parent or child is happy about the news. At the time of the diagnosis, both parent and child revise their goals for the future. There is a mourning period as some goals and hopes are abandoned before new goals are set. There may be an over-reaction to the illness, giving up on things that are still possible, such as marriage and children. The process of accepting a chronic illness is not unlike the KublerRoss stages of accepting death. There is denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally, if all goes well in the process, acceptance. “Chronic” by definition means that you will be living with the illness for a long time. There is no need to make sudden changes in life goals. Deal with the present one day at a time and leave long-term goals for a time down the road when both you and your child have had a chance to work through feelings about the disease and what it means to you. By then you will have a better understanding of the limitations imposed by the disease but also of the fears that are unfounded. For young children, the way the parent feels about the illness is the way the child will feel. While this still holds true for adolescents, the need for peer acceptance makes the issue somewhat broader. Still, a parent who calmly accepts the hand he is dealt will have a child who is not thrown off the tracks by the news. Parental anxiety is easily communicated. Parental disgust or rejection is even more potent. The best predictor of long-term adaptation for the chronically ill child is school attendance. The child who goes to school tends to have a normal social and academic life while the child who retreats from the world lives his handicap. As much as possible, use vacation time
Mon-Fri
10-4
FRIDAYS JUNE/JU IN LY
for hospital admissions and try to set up doctor’s appointments after school. Honesty about the disease, the prognosis, and the symptoms that your child is likely to experience will allow her to have some control over her illness and will allow her to trust her major supporters – her parents. However, you should spare a child from the remote possibilities that she might never encounter or won’t encounter for many years. Send her to the disease foundation summer camp so that she can meet peers who share the same issues and symptoms. Support her but don’t pity her. Focus on what she can do, not what she has lost. Vivian K. Friedman Ph. D. is a child and family psychologist at UAB, Department of Psychiatry. Send questions for response in this column to Viviankf@gmail.com. No personal replies are sent.
Celebrate America at AMERICAN VILLAGE
Where revolutionary stories of history come to life!
• Red, white and blue family fun • Just 30 minutes south of Birmingham
3727 Highway 119 • Montevallo 205-665-3535 • www.americanvillage.org
birminghamparent.com | 7