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THE PREMIER PARENTING MAGAZINE FOR CENTRAL ALABAMA
JUNE 2015
FATHER KNOWS BEST:
Birmingham Dads Celebrate Father’s Day
BIG BIRTHDAY PARTY ISSUE THE
8 TIPS
for Saving on Birthday Gifts
DOUBLE UP ULTIMATE BIRTHDAY
PARTY GUIDE PAGE 13
on Birthday Fun
KEEP IT SIMPLE:
Have a Party Away from Home
table of contents FREE
THE PREMIER PARENTING MAGAZINE FOR CENTRAL ALABAMA
JUNE 2015
30
FATHER KNOWS BEST:
Birmingham Dads Celebrate Father’s Day
BIG PARTY ISSUE THE
BIRTHDAY
8 TIPS
for Saving on Birthday Gifts
DOUBLE UP ULTIMATE BIRTHDAY
PARTY GUIDE PAGE 13
on Birthday Fun
KEEP IT SIMPLE:
Have a Party Away from Home
20 18 22
departments Note 04 Editor’s Birmingham Parent Brings Home First Place Award for Publication Editing
22
KEEP IT SIMPLE:
Planning a Birthday Party Away from Home
Illustration by Melissa Schultz-Jones
07
Parenting with Dr. Friedman
8 Short Stuff 0 10 School News 2015 33 June Calendar of Events Party: 38 Poetry Riddle Rhymes
features
18 & ME 26 BABY The Bathtub is a Baby’s Sensory Playground
20
13 Birmingham Parent’s Ultimate Birthday Party Guide 2015
Double Up on Birthday Fun: Pair Parties for More Fun and Less Work
8 Tips for Saving on Birthday Gifts
ON THE COVER: JOSIAH, age 22 months, is the COVER SEARCH WINNER for the ages 0-2 category from our 2014-2015 Search. He is celebrating his future birthday in the new Itty Bitty Magic City exhibit at McWane Science Center, now open for ages Kindergarten and under. PHOTO BY Visual Arts by Jessica,205-396-9090, www.visualartsbyjessica.com.
6 | birminghamparent | june 2015
KNOWS BEST: 30 FATHER Birmingham Dads Celebrate Father’s Day
parenting
Parenting with Dr. Friedman
Q:
I picked my granddaughter up from a junior high school dance last week. I was amazed at what the girls were wearing. Their clothes were so tight that I am surprised that the seams don’t pop when they breathe. Don’t these girls realize that they are putting themselves in danger? Why do the parents let their daughters out the door dressed to seduce? Not all teens are the same. Teenagers run the full spectrum just as adults do. If you observe a middle school dance, you will see many students who look like children, some who look like teenagers, and a few who look like fashion magazine models dressed to seduce. The early teen years are a time of exploration. Boys figure out how to be boys and girls figure out how to be girls. They practice male and female roles, including how to attract friends of the opposite sex. A school dance is a time for teens to take on adult roles in a safe place. They are comfortable practicing in a place where they know that even if they take a small risk, they will be protected by their environment. During the school day, dress codes lessen the opportunity to dress seductively. This is not to say that girls don’t wear tight jeans and fitted shirts to school, but school dances provide an opportunity that is still within the safety of the school but just enough outside it to push the limits and practice being grown up.
Most school dances are heavily supervised. There are chaperones at every entrance and students are typically not allowed to leave the dance except with the parent who is taking them home. The girls can play seductive without really meaning to be seduced. They have no intent to put themselves in danger but they are flattered by the boys’ attention. They are dependent upon the school rules and those of their parents to keep them safe while they push the limits. It is our job as parents to keep boundaries in place, but not necessarily to fail to allow them to explore at all. Part of your concern about seductive dress is generational. The meaning of tight clothing today is not the same as it was in your time. When one girl dresses seductively she stands out from the norm. When the majority does, it does not communicate the same thing. Parents do need to know what their children are wearing and where they are going. Parents do need to make sure that their children do not go
outside the boundary of good taste or that they communicate more than they intended to say. Teens lack perspective and adult maturity and experience is needed to provide this. The job of the parent is to teach the underlying principles of social communication and social propriety. Seduction is not entirely a negative thing. It is probably an asset for a girl to learn how to attract the man of her dreams as long as she does this without putting herself in danger by suggesting more than she means. The child without social and flirtatious skills is at a disadvantage. Most parents worry just as much about a girl who does not care about how she looks or dresses. Like in most things, the key is to find that middle ground.
Vivian K. Friedman Ph. D. is a child and family psychologist at UAB, Department of Psychiatry. Send questions for response in this column to Viviankf@gmail.com. No personal replies are sent.
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