Parent THE PREMIER PARENTING MAGAZINE FOR CENTRAL ALABAMA
Birmingham
FREE
JULY 2015
And the winners are....
OUR 2015
FAMILY FAVORITES AWARDS
table of contents
Parent
FREE
THE PREMIER PARENTING MAGAZINE FOR CENTRAL ALABAMA
Birmingham
JULY 2015
And the winners are....
OUR 2015
FAMILY FAVORITES AWARDS
departments Note 04 Editor’s Our Family Favorite Award Winners Reveals
07
Parenting with Dr. Friedman
8 Short Stuff 0 the Specialist: 34 Ask Pregnancy Dos and Don’ts
I Pay My Child? 35 Should All About Allowances
THE BIRMINGHAM PARENT 2015
FAMILY FAVORITES AWARD WINNERS 13 Family Fun Winners 14 Parties, Activities and Learning Favorites 20 Businesses and Services Favorites 24 Health and Wellness Favorites 28 And There’s More to Like
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11
Perfect: 36 Party A Mickey Mouse Safari Party
2015 39 July Calendar of Events Party: 46 Poetry Haiku
features
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32 Dance Foundation Celebrates 40 Years
The Itty Bitty Magic City Comes to Town
It’s a New Day at Alabama Splash Adventure
ON THE COVER: Original illustration by local illustrator Melissa Shultz-Jones, http://melissashultz-jones.com.
6 | birminghamparent | july 2015
HIKES FOR TYKES: Preschoolers Closer to Nature
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parenting
Parenting with Dr. Friedman
Q:
A few years ago a teenager shot and killed three police officers in a manner that the boy allegedly learned from an explicit and violent video game. A lawsuit was filed against the manufacturer and several distributors of the game. Do video games teach children to be violent? Should this teenager be excused from blame for the murders because he was taught to do it? Are the publisher and distributors responsible? What about the parents? There is little question that children learn from what they see. Albert Bandura’s research in the 1960’s showed that children, when left to play in a room full of toys chose all the toys about equally. However, after observing an adult punching an inflated knock-down figure, they were much more likely to choose the punching bag toy over any other toy after the demonstration. That is, after observing aggressive play, the previously docile children chose to be aggressive. Children learn from what they are told. Video games are promoted by their manufacturers through advertisements, and once widely distributed, their merits are spread by the peers who play them and tell their friends that the games are fun. Once there is acceptance of the violence and aggression by peers and parents, the child no longer feels uncomfortable with his aggressive pleasure. Children learn from their parent’s attitude. The absence of restraint on
violence is heard by the teenager as approval and permission. If a parent allows a violent game to be played in the home, the teen assumes it has his parents’ stamp of approval. The teen might even see a parent playing the same game, which he might interpret as the parent’s condoning violent play. Not only is this child learning from what he plays, he is failing to learn positive values. Most school-age children spend most of their day at school. When the student’s limited leisure time is occupied with violent computer games, he is not engaged in team sports where he might learn to cooperate and take turns. He is not “hanging out” with his well-behaved peers where he might learn to behave in such a manner as to be accepted socially by others. Parents should know the content of the games their child is playing and should set limits on what is allowed in the home. However, parental responsibility goes deeper. It is the troubled
child who seeks out violent games in the first place. The emotionally deprived child is often an angry child. By raising children with love, time, attention, and appropriate limits you prevent them from developing the rage that leads to fascination with violent games. Regardless of the outside influence, this teenage murderer is responsible for his choice to do wrong. The video game might have given him ideas and skills, but he alone made the choice to do harm. There are millions of children playing violent video games. There are fortunately only a few who carry out violent acts in reality. The publisher and distributors were links in the chain that led to the deaths of the policemen. They need to reexamine their choices. There are many ways to design an entertaining and profitable game. Violence need not be a part of it.
Vivian K. Friedman Ph. D. is a child and family psychologist at UAB, Department of Psychiatry. Send questions for response in this column to Viviankf@gmail.com. No personal replies are sent.
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