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F L O R I D A' S





M AG A Z I N E JULY 2010





SCENE AROUND DAY@ PETERSON'S HARLEY 12 FATHER'S A festive fun-filled day full of bikes, food and most of all... fun for dad.

JULY 2010


HEY CHALLENGE Over 800 motorcycles lined 18 HOKA up in Key West at 4:00 o’clock in the morning on Father’s Day, Sunday, June 20, 2010.

MIAMI! 20 TATTOOLAPALOOZA For the second year in a row Micky and the entire crew of Convention Ink have created the greatest convention of its kind in the Northern hemisphere.

BIRTHDAY BASH! 26 CHRISTY'S The bright smile of the full

moon reflected off the shiny chrome of hundreds of rigs, shimmering like parallel strings of pearls along the little road, leading to a quiet cul-de-sac.


ARTICLES BENZ CLS55 AMG 36 MERCEDES Larger than MB’s mid-size


cars and less imposing than their full-size S-class, the CLS fits right in between.

month's 3 42 This motorcycles...


-AMERICAN IRONHORSE, -YAMAHA YZF-R1, -SUZUKI GSXR 1300R.... lean, fast and built for speed.

Teeth marks are extra, sweety!!!


july 2010 M AG A Z I N E


32 JADE The flower of the orient,

is our JULY centerfold this month. More Sake, please.



51 HEATHER Beautiful, blonde vixen 53 NATASHA Brunette bombshell. Sexy latin kitten 55 PAOLA


4 THE LADIES MAN OF THE MONTH 62 HOT Our monthly chunk of man-hunk, oiled and muscle-bound just for our lovely ladies of Bike and Beauties.



NOTE FROM THE EDITOR For the past few months we have been working hard on redesigning the pages of this fantastic publication. I hope that you like the changes we have made and find the content you admire with a little more ease. Although our face has changed, our mission still remains the same. Bikes & Beauties Magazine is Florida’s Premiere Biking Lifestyle Publication. We understand and appreciate that the face of a biker comes in many forms. We have patches, colors and independents, doctors and lawyers, soccer moms and even new-bee weekend warriors. We admire and respect each individual and their right to be who they are. All of us share one common denominator, the undying love of rumbling thunder beneath our legs with two wheels on the road. No matter the face or image we uphold, we commonly band together in the name of charity, fellowship and unfortunately to mourn. We met a new friend this month at Café 27 while we participated in the DWB Custom Cycles Redneck Round-Up! Bradley Winston of Winston & Clark, P.A, not only is he a lawyer, he’s a biker and has been riding for most of his life. I learned something from his this week and I want to pass on the knowledge to all of you. Each one of us knows all too well, when a motorcycle is involved in a collision with an automobile or truck, if not fatal, it almost always results in a serious injury. A large number of these accidents are caused by the negligence of others or a default in the motorcycle itself. Winston & Clark has helped many motorcyclists obtain just compensation for those responsible for such accidents. If you or someone you love has been involved in a motorcycle accident while riding a sport bike, a Harley, or any other type of motorcycle please contact Bradley Winston at Winston & Clark, PA, 8211 W. Broward Blvd, Suite 420, Plantation, FL 33324 (954) 475-9666. They also specialize in personal injury, wrongful death, auto accidents, slip & fall, products liability, dog bites, police misconduct, excessive force and false arrest litigation. Mr. Winston came through for Bikes & Beauties Magazine when others faltered and we cannot repay him enough. As I sat down this evening to write you this letter, the one word that entered my mind was thankful. I am thankful for of our loyal fans and supporters. Thankful I made it through another year of my life and thankful that my shoes have gel inserts. But more than anything I am thankful that I live in America. That it is my natural born right to voice opinion. I have the choice everyday to do whatever I like and I am grateful. As we begin this month remember the history of our founding fathers. Remember the reason that we gather together on the 4th of July for BBQ’s, parades, fireworks, concerts and serious hangovers. It is about the declaration of our independence, the beginning of our “free nation.” Rejoice the very moment that two hundred and thirty-four years ago, we became America.

all my

It was great seeing all of you at the Birthday Bash even if it was just for a second. We have a lot of surprises up our sleeve and are working hard to keep you entertained all year long. Get plugged in to all that is happening throughout the summer by logging on to or by becoming a fan on our Facebook fan page. Please keep sending your letters and photos I love hearing form all of you! Stay Between the Ditches & Keep the Shiny Side Up!

All clothing, shoes, accessories and bikinis for this month's photo shoot were provided by Lace to Lust. Please see their ad with coupon on page 23. Cover Photo & Beauties Photographed by: Cedric Killings See ad page 47














Bikes & Beauties Magazine LLC Po Box 813269 Hollywood, FL 33081-3269 Ph: 954-789-6986 Fx: 954-212-2609 u












Bikes & Beauties Magazine TM 2010 is published monthly and NO reproduction of content is permitted without publisher’s written consent. Publisher is not liable for errors in advertising but a correction will be printed. Publisher is not liable for: slandering of any individual, comments, opinions, promises, coupons or lack of fulfillment of any of their columnists or advertisers. We do not promote excessive consumption of alcoholic beverages. Please drink responsibly. Bikes & Beauties Magazine logo is owned solely and nationally by Daniel Moreau. OFFICES NOT OPEN TO THE PUBLIC.



JULY 2010



8pm. Food, music, drinks, entertainment, 50/50. Each month will have a differnet theme and drink special. Call Tito @ 561-543-9775

50/50, Raffles, Bike games, Burn out pits. This is an 18 and up event. Full bar on site. www.

WINGS OF GOLD MC OPEN CLUB HOUSE PARTY 1700 Latham Rd Bay 25 West Palm Beach The fun starts @


VET FEST MUSICFEST AT THE CLASSIC CAFE AND DIXIELAND MUSIC PARK in Waldo, Florida. There will be 2 full days of Live Entertainment, Food and Drinks, Fun, and so much more. Don’t miss this amazing time. Proceeds will benefit the Major Alan Rogers Scholarship Fund at the Santa Fe Community College. 352-468-3988


FREEDOM OF CHOICE 10th ANNIVERARY RIDE sponsered by MICKEY’S BAR. Meet at Cafe 27 @ 7:30 k/s up @ 8:00...hwy ride to Mickey’s. Live music, drink specials. Midnite ceremony including Chuck (president then) and Old Hippy (current president). Please join us in this celebration of a great accomplishment.


IRON EAGLE CYCLES MAKE-A-WISH BIKE NIGHT NOW JUST ON THE FIRST TUESDAY OF THE MONTH 6 til 9 pm 1890 S. Military Trail West Palm Beach, FL. South of Forest Hill Blvd Vendors, Bike Games, Bands all for Make-A-Wish fund

ORLANDO BIKE RALLY, Kissimmee, FL Music, Auctions,


AMERICAN LEGION RIDERS POST 321 STARS AND STRIPES POKER RUN Cooper City FL. Cost: $15 per person. Door Prizes, Raffles, Good Food, Good Music. Best & worst hands plus buy up to 3 extra cards. 954-434-0965


BIKER APPRECIATON PARTY 6:30-9:30 PM at HOME RUN SPORTS BAR 6177 Jog Rd., Lake Worth Will be every 2nd


Tuesday of Month. Hosted by ABATE of FL Palm Beach Chapter. Home Run is in SW Plaza Latana and Jog Rds.



LUCKY’S BAR & GRILL 10160 West Indiantown Road, Jupiter, FL 561-743-3300 Publix Shopping Center behind the gas station South side of Indiantown Road. First drink free if you ride in.

JJ MUGGS STADIUM GRILL ABACOA Jupiter, FL. 1203 Town Center Drive Jupiter / Abacoa 561-630-9669 Every 3rd Thursday 7pm til 10pm. Curb Side Bar. Raffle Provided by: H-DPB, JJ Muggs Stadium Grill, Budweiser, Proceeds to Benefit the Connor Moran Children’s Cancer Foundation.


MUDSLIDE MIKES RIDE FOR SOBRIETY Palm Bay, FL Poker Run fundraiser to support Mudslide’s dream of helping people fight substance abuse. The stops are non-bar related. Our fundraiser recipient is a local recovery house Wishing Well Farms - Merritt Island - Bob Tall Proprietor. 50/50, raffles, prizes, music, food, and fun. Stops include Steve’s Cycles, Dairy Queen, Brevard Super Bike, and Long Dogger’s Palm Bay location. 321-960-6666


PALM BEACH ABATE MEETING @ V.F.W. Post 4143 11:30 am. Located at 2404 Broadway (US-1) Riviera Bch. 1 block South of Blue Heron Blvd. On the east side. ALL WELCOME. Join us to fight for YOUR rights


“IN HIS WIND” POKER RUN Sanford, FL. Sign up 10:30-11:30am $10 per person. Enjoy live music, BBQ, and 50/50. Start: Airport Hanger Bar 2nd stop: J.J.’s Lounge 3rd stop: Fort Lockhart 4th stop: Longwood VFW Last stop: Syndicate Warehouse 3730 E. S.R.46, Sanford, FL 386-804-5424


PRESERVATION RUN 800 Neffs Way, Naples FL Come and hangout with fellow riders. Great food and drinks, Live music, Bike Games, Bike Show, Kids are welcome to come. Bring the family. Call if you have any question. “No Fireworks, Colors, or Attitudes. For more info: 239-596-3925. Visit our website at or email us at:


JULY 2010


NEW! ARMADILLO DUAL SPORT Mt. Dora FL . Limited to 50 riders only! This one is a tough one-day ride incorporating sand, dirt sand and more dirt and sand. It’s a 200 mile long ride. Designed for light weight dual sport bikes like DRZ400/ KTM 530 EXC. Not suitable for KLRs or bigger bikes. Make a weekend of it, ride the School Supply Adventure and the Armadillo Dual Sport. They’re only miles from each other! Registration Now Open! 727-919-8299


BLACK PISTONS MC Ft. Laudedale Fl. 7th Annual @ Seminole Casino


GATOR HARLEY-DAVIDSON-TWO DAY 1745 US Hwy 441 Leesburg FL. Contests, Bike wash, Bike show, Sales going on all day. Kids are welcome to come. Live Music ( Free Concert ) All proceeds from this event will donated to Haven of Lake and Sumter Countries. Come and hangout with fellow riders. 352-787-8050


FLORIDA’S BON CIVIL WAR PARTY Party starts at 3pm Homeruns sports bar 6177 Jog Road Lake Worth, FL Where north meets south big bash... from north to south.. lets show them how we party... you can dress for this party in your best outfit....winner will get a prize.... bike night drink specials...doing war free pours...complimentary buffet... live band with (backstreets) winners of the Hawaiian Tropic Battle of the Bands in South Fla... We have plenty of bike parking, vendors. The Motel 6 is just east of i-95 on south side of street of Lantana Road, To get to Homeruns just head west on Lantana Road to you get to Jog Road. Club is on SW corner Its that’s simple ! I have arranged a great price at Motel 6 on Lantana Road . The price is $40.13 total per room, tax’s and other bullshit is included! Has a pool, clean rooms, 2 double beds, you can have up to 4 people in each room at no extra charge! *Make sure you ask to speak to Paul Pedone ! He is the general manager ! Tell him you're with the BON or Biker Or Not party an he will give you this price ! Only he can do this deal for you, so this is very important !!




Bikes&Beauties Magazine, L.L.C. • P.O. Box 813269, Hollywood, FL 33081-3269 • E-mail us at:


A few years ago it was the first big charity run of the summer. This is a big event and draws a large number of participants. As do many runs, there was a free breakfast, midday lunch, and a grillout later that night.

This was a whole day event that covers several hundred miles. The stops along the way had donated money to the charity in exchange for several hundred riders stopping to patronize their business. The run was in two waves. I paid my fees, got my breakfast and sat down at a small table with two chairs. A few minutes later, a female voice asked if she could sit down and join me. She stated there were no other places to sit. I naturally told her, “Please be my guest.” I looked at her and saw a very attractive Chinese girl. She was tall, about 5’-10”. As we ate, we chatted about our bikes, the run, and other things. As with most big group events there is usually some loud mouth guy who can be heard above all the other noise. I didn’t know the guy but had heard and seen him around for several years. One of his things besides being loud was to get laughs by embarrassing someone. My new breakfast friend decided to ride alongside of me and to get to be friends. This was OK with me as she was very attractive and a feast for my old eyes. At the first stop, loud mouth started on a guy he knew and his wife. He loved to get laughs as he embarrassed them. My new friend, Sue, did not like this and stated someone should teach him a lesson. At the next stop, it was the midday stop half way thru the event. Sue and I made cold cut sandwiches and took them outside to eat them. Sue ate about half of her sandwich and got up and walked over to big mouth’s bike. She took something from her vest pocket and tore off the top of something. The packet was poured on the ground on both sides of the bike. Then she poured whatever it was on the gas tank. She threw the empty packet papers on the ground on both sides of the bike. Sue came back and finished her sandwich

and drink. She disposed of our waste and set back down next to me. Soon old loud mouth came out to his bike and began cussing, screaming profanities that I never heard of. “Someone sugared my bike,” he screamed. There was actually no sugar put into his tank. Just set up to look that way. We left without loud mouth. About six weeks later, I saw loud mouth at another run and he was actually quiet and polite. I heard him say it needed rebuilt anyway. I saw Sue on and off that summer and we rode together quite often. Sue and I were only friends due to a big age difference. I guess if there’s a moral to this story it could be: “Just a spoonful of sugar helps the loud mouth go down.”-- edeee2


At first I enjoyed riding the motorcycle as a passenger. Then my husband, Randy, showed me a 650 Bergman Scooter on some type of web site. Then the investigation began. My husband was checking out the bike in every way to see if there was satisfaction or complaints. A lot of people loved the bike and the track record for mechanical problems was few. I took the plunge and attended a motorcycle training class with my neighbor, Jenny. She had been practicing on a small bike at home and she did well right away. I think I was nearly the worst student of the group. I whined a lot. My instructor was happy to see me graduate so he did not have to see me anymore. Randy took me out each weekend to gradually build up my basic riding skills. Now I am learning to relax with the sweepers. I know that I must commit to the turn and not flake out in the middle of the turn. As traffic comes my way I work on relaxing and completing the turns better than the last time instead of worrying about the traffic. It is when Randy takes me to unfamiliar roads that I start holding on to my bike with “The Death Grip.” This occurs nearly ever y time he takes me on a tight clover leaf entrance and exit ramps near Freeport Texas. For him it’s just a baby cur ve; for me it feels like when I reach the top I may fall into infinity or crash into the oncoming traffic. We got rained out in the Hill Countr y on my

first tour ride. I was able to go up and down one cur vy small mountain side before the thunder clouds let go. We were staying in a shelter at Garner State Park when we decided to head home before the roads were impassable. We planned to outrun the worst of the storm and that meant we had to ride long and hard. Randy was worried that I would not be able to ride ver y long before I got too worn-out. My focus was to out run the rain so I could have a few days left on my vacation. The rain hit my hands like needles and the wind beat me up. I told myself that if Randy can do this then I could too. After nearly 200 miles of

wet riding, both of us needed refuge so we found a tiny family owned motel in La Grange called The Oak, located nearly in the center of town. The room was huge, ver y clean; there was a large TV, microwave and a refrigerator for an unusually good price. We had one day to ride around before Randy said we had to get on the road again. He was right. The rain would be with us all the way home. My vacation was pretty sad but now I have a new nickname. Randy calls me “Rain Rider” because I could keep up with him nearly the whole time while the rain was hammering the road. I guess my instructor would be proud of me now.-- karen

kitty corner Chick riders of the month speak out!

can’t wait for warmer weather to get back out there.


PERMA-GRIN by teresa

My first ride was in a parking lot near my boyfriend’s shop where he built my bike. I have been on a motorcycle since I was little and rode around the driveway on the tank of my Dad’s bike. I grew up in Sturgis, SD, the home of the biggest rally. Point is, I feel like I was destined to have my own bike.... Then here I was, sitting on it, getting ready to take off. My boyfriend was coaching me on how to get started. I was nervous but couldn’t wait! I had already pictured all the bad scenarios in my head and just went for it. It was a little jerky at first. Once I got going though, I couldn’t wipe the grin off my face. My boyfriend took pictures and I didn’t want to stop. I wanted to ride right out on the road and keep on going! I

My Husband and myself where out for a Sunday drive two summers ago and happened to see a motorcycle course taking place. We watched and we wondered and next thing we knew, we had both signed up for the course! Neither of us had ever ridden before. To make a long story short, it was a great experience. We passed! Then we went out shopping for two new bikes. I was low in confidence as we chose our new rides, they all looked so big and intimidating. My Husband chose a Honda and I picked out a little Suzuki Savage. What a terrific starter bike. It boosted my confidence and let me build my experience enough for me to upgrade the next summer. Now my ride is a Vulcan 800 and I can’t get enough of riding. It is the best thing in the world, nothing beats a beautiful summer day and a winding paved road. JULY 2010 • BIKES & BEAUTIES 9


Hello!!! Do you understand English? T HAS BEEN A FEW MONTHS SINCE I RIPPED ANYONE A NEW ONE BUT, THE MOUNTING STRESS LEVEL AND PRESSURE OF MY CRAZY SCHEDULE IS TURNING ME BACK INTO A CRAZED BITCH! In the past three months our business has grown by leaps and bounds. The requests are flowing in like wildfire and the staff is in dire need of revamping! The entire sales staff is useless and most days I feel like I am surrounded by morons! Don’t get me wrong and please don’t take offense. There is some talent in my midst but, mostly I feel like I either speak Chinese or they have still jacked up from the night before. Ninety percent of the time I look around and can’t help but think, “Are you f@#king kidding me? Hello! Wake up, lay off the drugs, sauce or whatever it is that you are on that is making you look at me like I am speaking a language you do not understand!” I know that I speak quickly, but that means you need to either take notes or get a tape recorder. I do not have time to sit around and repeat myself again and again and again! I am too busy for this crap! This all leads me to this glorious Monday morning, the first day of summer and to my dismay the longest freaking day of the year!!!? Great!


I woke up later than my usual 7:00 am and casually made my way into the office. I warned the Man-gina that I had a shit ton of stuff to do and really needed to focus to get it all done. We had our coffee and off I went! I was actually stoked to be going in, excited that it was closed and even more so that I was going to have the whole place to myself! I couldn’t wait to sit down and actually have a productive day and get everything crossed off my list without the usual crap interruptions. Yeah right, I should have known better! I hadn’t even been at the desk for an hour when the dogs started barking at someone banging on the door. I got up and peaked around the corner, damn it, Man-gina! Oh well, I’ve got to let him in, I don’t even want to go there by leaving


him outside! I opened the door, said nothing, turned around and walked my tail back to my office, turned on my flat screen and went back at it. He didn’t talk to me I am pretty sure he knew better. Just about the time I was beginning to go through the mountain of emails and organize my plan of attach, the dogs started barking again. This time they were barking with a vengeance! They sounded like they were going to come through the window and take off a leg & that can only mean one thing. Another person is at the door and this time it is not Man-gina or the mail man, it’s a stranger! Another interruption,

Man-gina comes in my office with his external hard drive asking me for photographer photos. “What,” I exclaimed as I looked at him with disgust and bewilderment. I cannot imagine why he would interrupt me for something that he does not need, does not work on, something that is 100% not in his job description. At this point I am f@#king annoyed. I am aggravated and pissed off that the same person who gave me a financial report this morning and told me we needed to make some money was wasting his time on photos. I will admit. I gave him a shitty answer to get him the hell out of my office so I could get back to the task at hand. Shit, it’s already 1:20p.m. in the afternoon. I am freaking getting hungry and I do not need to keep being interrupted. I barked at him that I told him to get out, leave me alone, I had too much to do and that his request can wait! As he was walking out my door, I got up and closed the sliding glass door that leads into my office and overlooks my back. I heard him saying something and I barked, “Shut up already. You are wasting my time.” No sooner do I start typing the blackberry starts flashing red with a message from Man-gina! Some crap about how he never comes in my office and I could be nicer when he does and I treat him badly, blah, blah, blah! F@# me!!! Seriously?

I peaked around the corner, it’s a photographer... Ah -f@#k! Here I go again! I let him, get his photos and attempt to send him on his way. yeah! Again I peaked around the corner, it’s a photographer, ah f@#k! Here I go again! I let him, get his photos and attempt to send him on his way. He leaves my office and goes to see the Man-gina for a check. No sooner do I get engulfed in my mountain of responsibilities do the two of them come back in and sit down on my couches, open my photo viewing laptop and start doing whatever! I ignored them and kept on, a little distracted but still making some progress. About 10 minutes later I hear them reaching an end of whatever they had come in to do and I said, “Okay can you get out now?” They obliged! Oh Thank GOD!


It was at that moment that I realized that they had just given me that material I needed to crank out seven hundred and fifty words in less than twenty minutes. In other words, I am taking this negative turning it into a positive and crossing one thing off my list in the process! Halleluiah, there is a G-d! My fingers of fury were running away when I heard the front to the office shut! Yeah! Photog gone let the productivity reign! I had just reached the three hundred word mark when the


It never fails! I have a plan and someone chooses to leave their brain cells at home. Why would you ask me what I have on my schedule allow me to explain to you my intentions, my anxiety, stress level and profound need to lock myself in the office for a full day of uninterrupted productivity then choose to be the one person that is going to interrupt me. Not once but three times before lunch. I do not think you are an idiot, I just wonder if you speak and understand English!




our shutter-bug snaps the events you missed out on. have a beer, hoss.

n's bies at Peterso e e fr t u o e v a g Our models n. Pg.15 Harley-Davidso

Bikes&Beauties Magazine is always on the go and always on the scene, this month was chock full of events. Father's Day at Peterson's Harley-Davidson was a great success, read about it on pg. 15. The Hoka Hey Challenge located on pg.18 was revving up the hogs and The Redneck Round-Up was fun for the whole family, check out pg.20 if you don't believe us. Plus much, much more with hot bods, hot bikes and HELLFIRE! Enjoy!!








great day to be dad

or nine consecutive years, Peterson’s Harley-Davidson of Miami has held their Father’s Day Hot Rods and Harleys event. This year was no exception. Sunday, June 20, 2010 was a spectacular morning met with cloudy skies and sweltering temperatures. Luckily for us, we had a steady SE breeze keeping us cool and snow cones keeping us from falling over dead from a heat stroke. From 10:00 am to 4:00 pm Dad’s got to spend the day doing exactly what they wanted to!



Peterson’s of Miami filled the lot with profusion of Dad friendly fare. Everything you could imagine to fill his heart’s desire, from ice cold beers and juicy hamburgers to beautiful bikes, cars and women. You were guaranteed to find at least one corner of the lot that tickled your fancy. Dads were grinning from ear to ear as they made their way around to see the bounty laid out before them. As they walked they found the Hot Rod show sponsored by Jumpin Jack Flash Productions, the Bikes & Beauties Magazine Bike Show, several other vendors displaying their wares and the big dog, Doc Reno from big 105.9 broadcasting live! Snap-on held a Father’s Day “Screw Off” contest where competitors were asked to screw the most screws into a 2” x 4” for a chance to win gift cards and other fabulous prizes. The entire day was one hell of a good way to celebrate all of the Fathers, Brothers, Husbands, Significant Others, Family and Friends on their Daddy's Day!







RUNNIN' ver 800 motorcycles lined up in Key West at 4:00 o’clock in the morning on Father’s Day, Sunday, June 20, 2010. They were not there to honor a fallen hero, father or friend. They were not there in the name of charity or even just for fun. They were lining up to begin a competition of endurance, strength, courage and perseverance, the Hoka Hey Motorcycle Challenge. The 7,000 (+/-) mile route that incorporates the Continental United States, Canada and Alaska will be the breeding ground for the greatest test of determination and grit.





equirements for this competition was simple, each rider must pay $1,000, be 18 years of age or older, possess a passport, own an air cooled, V-Twin Harley-Davidson Motorcycle only, they must have a valid Motorcycle Operator’s Permit, Motorcycle Registration, Helmet and Proof of Insurance. As simple as those requirements sound, do not let the small lists misconstrue the reality of the Hoka Hey Challenge. These 800+ challengers must sleep next to their bikes, travel with their own food, water, bedding and other supplies needed to survive out in the elements for up to two weeks as they make their way to Homer, AK in hopes of reaching the finish line first and claiming the Grand Prize of $500,000 in Alaskan gold. These riders from all over the United States and even as far away as Australia were given the traditional Indian blessing before they made their departure. > HOKA HEY MOTORCYCLE CHALLENGE-DEPARTURE CEREMONY



t 6:30 am, the motor’s rumbled and the crowd cheered as the riders followed their full Police escort and made their way out of Key West and to their first checkpoint at Destination Daytona. The first of many as they travel though 62 rugged mountain ranges, 33 Indian Reservations, 25 National Forests, 8 deserts, 6 National Parks and 2 Countries in their volatile attempt at achieving greatness. Good luck riders, we can’t wait to see you in Homer!




or the second year in a row Micky and the entire crew of Convention Ink have created the greatest convention of its kind in the Northern hemisphere. Tattoo La Palooza is a weekend long cultivation of custom motorcycles, world renowned tattoo artists and skintingling sideshow entertainment. On June 25th, 26th and 27th the Hyatt Regency Downtown Miami and the Miami Convention Center were transformed into an ink seekers paradise filled with great names like Mike Devries, Ryan Hadley, Jesse Smith, Roman and Stephano Alcantara whose talents cannot go unnoticed. Whether you are a Soccer Mom or Road Side Carnie it is apparent that their talents lie beneath the buzz of their needle and no matter what your breed there is something to be said about beautiful art. At first glance, the Hyatt was a happening mix of Businessmen and Asian tourists. Nothing seemed outside the norm but, as morning crept towards the lunchtime hour, there was an apparent shift in cultural perception. Walking into the Lobby was like walking onto Ocean Drive at six am. There were no Asian tourist with their video cameras or clones donning a suit and tie. All that remained


was an eclectic group of talented souls gathered together in common interest. As the doors opened late Friday afternoon, the stage had been set for three days filled with education (yes there are seminars too) and skin crawling visual feasts. Opening visitors were greeted by Sir Lancelot; the $250,000 creation of tattoo engraved chrome and fabricated metal conceived by Dan Dausey and his crew at Sick Bastard Choppers of Miami. On stage were the artistic likes of Christa Z of Painting with Style creating her Hollywood themed masterpiece. Strolling through the venue guests were guaranteed to see a little bit of everything, from the face of some poor guy who thought a full back tattoo was the smart thing to get his first time, to the ballerina of South Florida Sideshow suspended and spinning by the clips piercing the skin on her back. By the time the midnight hour rolled around and day one came to a close, the Bikes & Beauties crew was hungry and ready for a drink. Luckily for us, Convention Ink was one step ahead of us. We arrived at the bar to not only find it open late and still serving but, we had a DJ spinning some tunes. Sweet! Saturday started with an


influx of ink seeking shoppers as the doors opened at noon. The tattoo guns were buzzing and the crazy clowns of The American Madman Sideshow were creating havoc with their money stapling, skin piercing antics. My shoulders still quiver at the images that still flash in my head from a needle through the eyelid. Yikes! However, I am not quite sure anyone noticed their deranged tricks after the beautiful ladies of Bikes & Beauties Magazine shed their tops and straddled a few motorcycles for an impromptu photo shoot. Even the body painters stopped what they were doing and leaped over to see what the commotion was all about. We didn’t pay or tell them to do it but, I can tell you everyone was sure glad that they did. I know at least one Mom wasn’t too happy to see a naked woman but, in her defense; at least she had pants on! The electrifying vibe that filled the hall throughout the weekend was intoxicating. With a full thirty six hours of enthusiasm and plenty of ink to penetrate the skin there was something for everyone at this year’s Tattoo La Palooza. By the end of the weekend the mood had become somewhat subdued. The awards came to an end and the doors were closed. As we packed up our things I couldn’t help but think one thing, “why the hell didn’t I get some new ink? Oh yeah, I was too busy working!” If you missed this voyeurs weekend long: grand fiesta en el sol de Miami. You missed a freaky, fantastic good time. Keep an eye on Convention Ink at as they make their way across the U.S. on their yearly Tattoo La Palooza tour.






he first annual Kissimmee Bike fest began June 10, 2010 and continued through Saturday the 12th. When they advertised that this inaugural event would have a Cajun flair they should have mentioned that it was going to be hotter than an ant’s ass floating in the oil mess on the bayou. Thursday started a little slow but by the time the clock struck midnight everything ended with a bang! Although the crowds were few, their enthusiasm was huge! A fantastic musical line-up spanning the entire three day event consisted of great American sounds, like Led Zeppelin cover band Houses of the Holy, Eagle’s 7 Bridges Road, Bob Segar, Silver Bullet, Bon Jovi Dead or Alive, Guns and Roses, Paradise City. Also greats like Broadband, an all girl group that rocked our socks off! Thanks Carl and Birchman for putting together the great atmosphere with such

amazing musical talents. Just when we thought it couldn’t get any better on came Farrell Webber, Kentucky Head Hunters, and our very own Pat Travers. Closing the show Saturday night was legendary Bad Company’s original artist Brian Howe! To top off the musical entertainment was the great selection of food and refreshments. There is nothing better than filling your gut with event grub after you slam down five cold ones and dance with everything that moves. Over the weekend the bikes continued to roll in eventually taking over the entire 70+ acre and 600+ guest rooms of the Orlando Celebration Ramada Resort. The fantastic bikes, the beautiful angels dancing and the great camaraderie made my heart swell with pride to be a small part of this great inaugural event!!! This looks like the start of something amazing. See you next year!




ooters in Pembroke Pines is a staple for South Florida’s enormous motor motorcycle cowd and one of our favorite stops for Bike Night every Wednesday. No matter your moto-pleasure or pick of poison you are sure to find what you are looking for. From the beautiful Hooters Girls to the crispy wings, local rides, Scott the Music Man’s smooth tunes or stellar drink specials this is one pit stop you do not want to miss. Summer is here and the temperatures are just right to get out and ride! So next Wednesday, be sure to make this happening hot spot the hottest stop on your list!





n June the 6th, 13th and 20th, Dirty White Boys Custom Cycles Sponsored the now infamous Ò Redneck Round-Up Horse Shoe TournamentÓ at CafŽ 27, located just North of Griffin Rd on Highway 27 in Weston, Florida. Mike Shoemaker, also known as Ò ShoeÓ came up with the idea shortly after losing a very special person in his life earlier this year. Through a very traumatic experience he along with family and friends discovered some un-sung heroes within Hospice of Broward County. The selfless givers of Hospice take care of us in our last hours. At a very special moment for family and friends they help make the transition from one life to the next bearable. Mike is hoping that by this time next year the Ò Redneck Round-UpÓ is an official charity event benefiting Hospice of Broward County. He said, Ò I do not know any other way to thank the un-sung heroes of Hospice then to do it up Dirty White Boy style. For all of us, the entire group of family and friends you helped, we thank you.Ó Mike went on to say that he just felt compelled to do something. He pulled this idea together for fun. Then some great folks from our community stepped in and offered to help sponsor his idea. Winston & Clark, PA,

A Network System, Paladin Crane Services, Inc, Tony Sanchez Signs, PetersonÕ s HarleyDavidson, Bikes & Beauties Magazine and CafŽ 27 helped take his fun idea to a whole new level. Spectators, Volunteers and Participants will all agree that it was so hot you could fry an egg on the grass but despite the sweltering South Florida heat everybody had a great time. The tournament consisted of three rounds as team member competed to win the grand prize of five hundred dollars. Each week players had to toss horse shoes in hopes of making the cut for the final round on Sunday, June 20, 2010. Each week we watched the good ones progress to the finals and the bad ones progress towards a hangover. We watched the swimming pool that was originally put up for the kids become the localÕ s only watering hole. But mostly, we watched the community of Davie come together to support a great cause, Hospice. If you didnÕ t have a chance to play or attend the first inaugural, Ò Dirty White Boys Redneck Round-UpÓ you missed a really good time. DonÕ t get left out of the loop for the next event. Stop by and see Shoe and his team at D.W.B. Custom Cycles, 4320 SW 64th Avenue, Davie, FL 33314 or give him a call at 954-791-9564.


ALWAYS A GOOD TIME very Thursday night PorkieÕ s BBQ, E located at 256 E Main Street, Apopka, Florida holds its weekly bike night. From

5:00 to 10:00 pm rain or shine, bikers and BBQ lovers a like transform PorkieÕ s little piece of land into an entertainment venue. Hundreds of bikers and motorcycle enthusiasts rumble in from around OrlandoÕ s five major counties for sick ass BBQ, prizes, raffles and trophies. I have to admit there are a few that roll in just to show off! Manager, Steve and his entire crew have not only perfected their fantastic BBQ, they have perfected their outstanding level of customer service. One patron said, Ò My Harley and I thank you for having one of the longest running bike nights in the Orlando area! My wife thinks I need to stop using the fantastic BBQ as an excuse to ride my motorcycle, I think my excuse works!Ó Every Thursday PorkieÕ s holds a contest for


the hottest bike of the night. First, Second and Third Place winners receive some trophies that are no lie, out of this world! You can always find good tunes, good people and a whole lot of good cooking going on! With the help and support of Real Radio 104.1 Steve and his gang have set out to make this Thursday night Bike Night at PorkieÕ s in Apopka the hottest stop in town. You just never know whoÕ s going to drop by and entertain the crowds. It could be anyone of Real RadioÕ s hilarious talent, from Drunky the Bear, to Bubba Whoop Ass Wilson! Bikes, beauties and barbecue; nothing in my mind could ever be better, it is the perfect combination! You can come by PorkieÕ s anytime for the stellar service and proclaimed, Ò Best BBQ in the UniverseÓ but if you want to have great times take a ride over to Apopka this Thursday! You are sure to have a hell of a good time!





his inaugural event to benefit both The Meyerhoff Senior Center and the Big Bike RiderÕ s ChildrenÕ s Foundation was held Saturday, June 19, 2010 at the Mardi Gras Casino located at 831 North Federal Highway in Hallandale Beach, Florida. From 6:00 to 11:00 pm party goers could stroll the grounds filled with a Bike Show, Antique Car Show, Vendors, Bike Builders and live performances by the Hep Cat Boo Daddies and the Harley-Davidson Drill Team, Precision Thunder. It was really hot but, lots of fun!




nyone need to get a football fix in the NFL offseason? Then look no further! We made our way over to the Amway Arena to see FloridaÕ s very own, Orlando Predators on Friday, June 18, 2010. What started as the ever dreaded working Friday night quickly turned into the best damn working Friday we had seen all month long! Special thanks to Rob who put me right on, Ò Hummer FieldÓ where I was able to not only capture all the action but also capture in my opinion the most exciting part of the evening, the beautifully talented cheerleader of the Orlando Predators, the Prowlers. For those of you outside the Orlando area, take a look at the Predators website and make it a point to take a road trip and go to at least one game. There are three more home games this season. With theme nights such as Bike Night and Military night there is a little something for everyone and you are sure to be surprised at least once and walk out of the arena saying, Ò That was way better than what I expected.Ó Tonight we had the pleasure of catching a sneak peak of OrlandoÕ s new Lingerie

Football League Team, the Orlando Fantasy!! If these beautiful ladies play half as well as they look, the Tampa Breeze and Miami Caliente are going to have an extremely difficult season. All of us little worker bees of Bikes & Beauties would like to give a huge shout out to the best damn tailgaterÕ s in the world on Predator Island! Thanks for giving this girl some of the best meat I have ever tasted and some Tequila to help keep up my strength!! Special thanks to all who support the teams here in Orlando, including Real Radio 104.1 Tiffany; who plays the PredatorÕ s role of on field personality and official Predator team member Drunky the Bear; who looks forward to one day scoring a touchdown, we hope! We canÕ t forget all the Real Radio 104.1 Monster fans who filled the entire Monster section and all the other spectators, supporters and friends who come out to watch! I look forward to seeing everyone at the next home game July 3rd as they Predators take on the Cleveland Gladiators.



All in good fun Periodically, a sleepy, rural neighborhood in Davie is violently subjected to major mayhem. As it was, again, the case on June 26th....All in good fun. Why? It was Christy, the Editor’s Birthday Bash! The bright smile of the full moon reflected off the shiny chrome of hundreds of motorcycles, shimmering like parallel strings of pearls along the little road, leading to an inconspicuous, otherwise quiet cul-de-sac. Spine tingling vibration of bass guitars and roaring Harley pipes lead the way to the entrance with the big, bamboo thatched entrance with inviting neon sign that read, “Champagne & Pool Bar”. I thought this was a ‘biker’ event? The Bikes & Beauties “Birthday Bash” at Wayne’s Place was already in “Full Circle”, full swing when we rolled in at 9pm...Upon walking up the driveway, lined with bikes and a Russ G Events Car Show, we could barely jump out of the way of 2 burly bikers tumbling, rolling out, swinging and yelling things at each other that I can impossibly repeat


here...a posse of high-pitched screaming wenches followed them out, closely pursued by, what looked like, “peacemakers”, who, fairly quickly, had everything under control. I was proud to witness this, since this Bikes & Beauties party at Wayne’s Place had, thus, been inducted as a “biker event”... (hey, a little sense of humor here). What a spectacle! If one assumed that the last Bikes & Beauties Anniversary event couldn’t be topped, you had another thing coming. This wasn’t “just another party”. This was a spectacle of most memorable proportion, a new South Florida “high” in how to have a party! The number of guests, gorgeous girls, handsome guys, burly bikers and bikes had, at least, tripled, since the last time - so had the stifling heat, it seemed! There were cool drinks at everyone’s beckon call, as well as magnificent food at the Tiki Hut, once again perfectly prepared whole pigs with all of the goodies waited for everyone. My rough guess

is; that there were about 1,000 bikes plus 350+ cars there at one time lining the street and filling the lot - you do the math about how many people! Not to mention almost all of my friends and brothers fit comfortably into Wayne’s backyard. A site almost too fantastic for words - Polynesian decor, hot tub with cascading rock waterfall and swim bar, gigantic smoke blowing totem head, bath/wc house for guys and gals, pool house, “mess-hut”, rows of dinner tables, multiple wet bars, beer tubs, little shade huts housing the band equipment and tech controls, and the huge, bamboo framed, floodlit open air stage set beneath two heavenly banyan trees way in the back. What a “wow” place, Wayne! The entertainment was fabulous! Orlando’s Real Radio 104.1 Monster Band of the Year, “Full


Circle” was, for lack of better words fantastic. Most impressive how Christy and Ken found this large number of extraordinarily attractive girls and models, gifted and friendly body paint artists sprayed faux sexy “clothing” on models and even some of the overheating guests wanting to shed some clothing. All night, Swarms of photographers - from B&B’s own to any amateur who had a camera phone, all capturing every inch of skin, every smile, every second of the event. A most entertaining bikini contest

and model search sponsored by Winston & Clark, P.A., that would make Mr. “you’re fired,” Donald Trump, get even thinner lips with envy; attracted spectators like a headlight does bugs. The crowd was pleased beyond description and, I’m sure, so was the band, “Full Circle” who shared the stage with the Betty Bangs bikini clad, breathtakingly beautiful contestants. Some of who as the event progressed even showed quite a talent climbing poles. Christy, the birthday girl, in her element; middle of the whirl, the mix, the middle of everything, all the while, beaming with joy, doing what she does best - being herself, the contagiously cheerful, chatty conferencier - All the while the fun didn’t end there - there were 50/50 raffles, door prizes, tons of give-a-ways provided -by this year’s sponsors, Winston & Clark, PA, Peterson’s Harley-Davidson, DWB Custom Cycles, Bikers Inc, Cycle

Lab, Thug Custom Cycles, Betty Bangs Bikinis and the Pool House Grill. Did I mention that the band “Full Circle” was spectacular, as was the BBQ! It was the party of plenty! The further the night progressed, the hotter it got and I’m not only talking about temperature here. The heat was mindboggling and, bit by bit, clothing became optional for anyone who liked it. Patches, colors and Independents alike, peacefully enjoying the spectacle, sweaty shoulder by sweaty shoulder, focusing on things that really matter, bikinis, boobs, butts, BBQ, body paint, good tunes and good times ruled. Hey, Wayne! Is it OK, if we come in bathing suits and chaps and hang out in the hot tub, showers and pool next time? Can’t wait to do it again! JULY 2010 • BIKES & BEAUTIES 27



by mark kobar


evin and the guys from Blais Cycle have supplied us with two of their superb creations from the land of the rising sun, but here’s an American born victim for your perusal. Not to be pidgeon-holed, Blais Cycle has also worked on some sick low-ridin’ rails and even some mild mods. This is an Ironhorse of a different color, and Kevin didn’t want to subtract from the classic chopper styling conveyed through the donor bike, a 2004 American Ironhorse LSC. Keeping this hard-charging motorcycle predominantly stock was foremost in Kevin’s plans, and the well engineered and designed AI LSC being what it is makes that task even simpler. American Ironhorse uses the world’s premiere aftermarket engines for their choppers, S&S, with a number of


displacements from which to choose. The smallest of the three v-twins in the line up, which ranges all the way up to a staggering 127 cubic inches of thundering pistons, this ‘Horse runs an S&S Super Sidewinder 111 inch plant. World renowned for their components’ reliability, pleasing aesthetics and undeniable power and torque specifications, S&S has been doing the v-twin market right for decades. Kevin’s LSC shows off with highly polished rocker covers, pusher sleeves and engine cases on both sides, and back up those great looks with 105 stampeding horses to the back wheel. A high-flow conical air cleaner directs huge volumes of O2 into the Mikuni carb for combustion, wrapped in plenty of chrome. A mirror finish also coats the down-swept exhaust pipes, replacing the 2-into-1 set from the American


Ironhorse assembly facility. A fully enclosed polished primary moves the torque to the AI six-speed Right Side Drive transmission, necessitated by the extra fat rear of the bike. American Ironhorse has been manufacturing these wide-tire friendly RSD gears boxes forever, so there are no concerns about handling all that S&S power. American Ironhorse uses a final belt drive for their LSC chopper, biting onto a beautiful polished sprocket. The horn casing is embossed with

the AI horse-head logo, unassumingly calling out it’s maker’s mark, and shine and pizazz envelop the engine completely, save for the cylinder heat sink fins. I’ve checked out a few AI motorcycles in the past, and they run long and strong, with seemingly limitless quantities of thrust always at hand. The perfect patient for the demented doctor inside Kevin. As for styling, the American Ironhorse LSC carries on the traditional body lines of the consummate “chopper,” setting all the mechanicals onto a rigid frame with a thick rear sneaker, pulling the top tube out four inches and tugging the down tubes an additional eight inches. The result is a high-in-the-sky nose at the tip of the stretched gas tank, a steep drop to the thick, padded solo saddle, and a dropped and fattened back mud deflector. Kevin and the rest of the shop really dug the 42° rake at the trees, but asked Tom Keller from Thug Custom Cycles to improve the overall feel and appearance with long, flawless inverted fork legs and soft edged offset trees from American Suspension topped off with lovely flowing risers. This front end makes the L S C pop, accenting the smooth and sexy curves of this thoroughbred. Circa 2004 Ironhorse metallic-red flame over black paint covers the skinny front fender, fat rear, gas tank and under-seat oil bag, while the remainder of the rails wear a sophisticated tuxedo black. Mated polished controls are present for both feet and fingers, and a digital control center displays any important and concerning stats to whomever can tame this wild mustang. Everything flows wonderfully on this stallion, from the large head light Tom from Thug added and abundant braided cables to the enormous alloy wheels. The skinny is a twenty-one inch wheel shod with a Metzeler Marathon 90mm skin, adeptly halted by twin discs and American Ironhorse’s four-piston Revolver brake calipers. A single 2-pot clamper slows the massive 280mm Metzelr back tire, which is stretched onto a deep 18-inch tall bucket. Everything comes together nicely right from the American Ironhorse catalog, but it never hurts to make some minor improvements. Kevin Blais has made this ‘04 American Ironhorse LSC a mild custom in the truest sense of the word, lightly altering and accessorizing an already competent motorcycle with plenty of old school chopper styling. Sometimes all it takes is a spray bottle and a few soft rags to turn a mediocre ride into a two-wheeled superstar. This great bike got tender loving care, a few hours of meticulous detailing, and one major mechanical modification, the front end. Five and six year old Ironhorses can be found and had quite reasonably, and with not a ton of money, this LSC has morphed into a unique attractive chopper with gobs of available torque. Thanks, Kevin, for another great Blais Cycle machine. JULY 2010 • BIKES & BEAUTIES 29



by mark kobar

s an avid fan of European Moto GP racing, this 2007 Yamaha YZF-R1 is a motorcycle to which I can relate. This past weekend Jorge Lorenzo fought off the advances of Dani Pedrosa aboard his Repsol Honda and Casey Stoner and his Ducati to bring his own Fiat Yamaha across the stripe first, landing him the top spot on the podium. Not that Stoner and Pedrosa, not to mention the rest of the riders, are not used to following a first place Yamaha around the circuit, but more often than not it was “The Doctor” patch they viewed ahead of them from the rear of Valentino Rossi’s leathers. Both Rossi and Lorenzo share a number of victories this season, attesting to the dominance of Yamaha not only on the track, but also in the sport bike consumer market. Remember the old saying, “Win on 30 BIKES & BEAUTIES • JULY 2010

Sunday, Sell on Monday?” Never more true than in the highend sport category, where the bike you buy off of the dealer floor is virtually identical to the motorcycle that led the field in Assen, Holland to last Saturday’s grand prix victory. Miami’s Blais Cycle has been entrenched in the sport bike tuning market for decades, touting full Dyno tuning and sweet tools and machines like the Serdi Millenium valve cutter so they can give you a perfect racing valve job for your head. Not willing to leave well enough alone, Richie from Blais purchased this Yamaha YZF-R1 new in the crate in 2007 with sinister plans in mind. Once the walls were pried


off and the R1 was rolled onto the shop floor the disassembly immediately began. What a shame, I would think, but why even bust into the motor’s break-in period if it’s all gotta be stripped and prepped anyway! That’s the ticket! The Deltabox frame, swing arm, fork legs, wheels and a gaggle of brackets were all sent out to chrome while the water cooled, electronically fuel injected 998 ccm inline four went under the performance knife. The 12.7:1 compression head was ported for smoother air/fuel

flow and the block was filled with all sorts of speed goodies, like new bump sticks for the valve train and Super Bike pistons rotating on a Falicon race crank. Yamaha’s fuel injection was retained for this two month R1 build, but now a Power Commander control system delegates the injec injection duties. A high-flow BMC air cleaner let’s the Yamaha inhale quickly and deeply, feeding all the air it possibly can to the hungry combustion chambers. With factory horsepower numbers around 155 being dramatically eclipsed with Richie and Kevin’s engine transformations, a new ignition module was imple implemented, and an easy-breathing wrapped Akrapovic under-seat exhaust was bolted on. Once everything was buttoned back up, the close-ratio five-speed transmission was upgraded with a Quick Shifter for the zippiest shifting available. It was then that all of the out-sourced parts began to flow back into the Blais Cycle shop for reassembly with the vicious power plant eagerly awaiting its new home. The now chromed Deltabox frame, renowned for it’s structural rigidity and and torsional stability, was now ready for the mostly stock Yamaha suspension and panels to be reattached. Completely race-ready o u t of the box, the YZF-R1’s truss-style swing arm, rebounded by a piggyback adjustable shock, was set up with Michelin Z-rated 190mm tire and a Galfer wave-cut vented rotor slipped into a dualpiston chromed caliper. The chain slack is always adjustable, as those pesky little O-rings tend to stretch out over time. Up front Yamaha’s original Brembo-engineered six-pot binder grabs a matching wavy rotor, all bolted to the refinished R1 21” wheel adorned with Michelin 170mm rubber. A Yamaha KYB 43 millimeter inverted fork, fully rider adjustable, of course, keeps the front tire firmly on the tarmac through the steepest and twitchiest curves and corners, and telegraphs the R1’s handling and steering requests to the rider accurately and responsively. Full gauges, complemented by an LCD control display from Blais, is informative and comprehensive, and the short sport bars and forward riding position make the stock 2007 R1 an unconquerable nemesis in the sporting arena. Kevin and Richie’s extensive work to not only the drivetrain, but to each and every bracket and bolt head, make this Yamaha R1 virtually impossible to beat! While I wait for Valentino Rossi’s ankle to mend, and his triumphant return to the Moto GP circuit, Yamaha will continue to dominate with Jorge Lorenzo aboard his trusty steed. And if you are in desperate need of a few more horses in your import sport bike, Blais Cycle in Miami has been making it happen for many years. This 2007 Yamaha YZF-R1 began its life as a no-nonsense race-winner, and the artful modifications and craftsmanship of the Blais crew made it out of this world. And they can’t wait to do the same for you. All I’m missing now are a stinky set of leathers and a few padlock girls with loose inhibitions! Blais Cycle: 305.654.8114 or JULY 2010 • BIKES & BEAUTIES 31







by mark kobar

n my eyes, I think Suzuki has redeemed themselves of the entire Can-O-Tuna (also referred to as the Katana) debacle from the middle of the roaring eighties. Trying to occupy the realm of the old Yamaha FZR’s and Honda Hurricane CBR’s, running the gamut from the diminutive 250cc’s straight through the 1000cc+ big boys, Suzuki seemed to rush out a less than fight-ready motorcycle. Luckily things have changed over the years, and 1999’s introduction of the first generation GSXR Hayabusa changed it all for the better. Kevin Blais of Blais Cycle in Miami, Florida, wholeheartedly agreed, and snapped up this massive 2008 Suzuki GSXR 1300R as soon as he could. Seemed like 34 BIKES & BEAUTIES • JULY 2010

it was time to do an immaculate transformation, form stem to stern, and make this Hayabusa a rolling showcase for Blais Cycle and their superb ability to improve on an already magnificent motorcycle. Hayabusas have always had a style unto themselves, and have always made themselves readily available for endless modifications, whether to the power train, suspension or even the cosmetics. This furious falcon was fully exploited by the Blais team in every category to the highest of standards. Where the rubber hits the road out front we find a Bridgestone Battlax tire mounted on a sweet PM Heathen powder coated and milled rim, with twin a Tokico-supplied


four-piston brake calipers gripping big, vented 310mm dual discs. The Kayaba 43mm inverted sport fork leads upward into the wicked nose fairing, a sharp, shark-like leading edge below the high intensity head lamp flanked by cool looking air inlets with accompanying signal lamps. Many out there, both in the consumer market and amongst press critics alike, slammed the 2008 GSX’s radical styling. Take for example the “rocket engine” rear marker lights bulging out from beneath the peculiar camel-hump rear fender cap. I understand the aerodynamic advantages, I suppose, but there has got to be a better way! This blazing metallic orange ‘Busa’s seat height has dipped under the factory specified 31.7 inches due to the gnarly Roaring Toyz wide and stretched swing arm hooked up to a milled and matched rear wheel running Pirelli Diablo 240 wide tread. One Tokico 2-pot caliper handles rear stopping straddling a

260mm rotor. The fuel tank can hold up to 5.5 gallons of go-go juice, and is hinged to help facilitate any service needed down in the depths of the frame rails. Full instrumentation glares up at the pilot, hidden behind the windscreen, right where you’ll be resting your chin at lofty velocities. A stock GSX 1300R weighs in dry at 485 pounds, not unheard of in its bracket, but due to the outrageous power the bike gets to the road, the thick back tire and mantislike swing arm, and maybe the sheer fear factor of trying to maintain any semblance of control over a beast this terrifying, track duties are something Kevin’s Hayabusa never needs to think about, unless we’re talking about going a quarter mile straight forward. Out of the Suzuki box, the GSX 1300R brags that its liquid cooled DOHC 1340cc inline injected four cylinder spins out 195 horsepower at the crank. A limited 185mph is the rated top speed, but 193 to 205 miles per hour are absolutely not unheard of. Strap a blower on and plumb up some NOX and the numbers just get silly! Kevin didn’t want to go quite that far with his bird if prey, so simple head work (simple??) and a Power Commander and ignition were thrown in the mix, in conjunction with a few dyno pulls to dial in the final numbers. Once the stock rear end was set on the shelf the entire attitude of the motorcycle was altered, and pipes from Brock’s sweep upward short of the rear spindle, adding a more aggressive look and much improved breathing and performance over the stock triangular ‘Busa tubes. Suzuki’s short-throw six-speed mixes it up in the tranny case, accentuated with Power Commander’s Quick Shifter, an on-throttle, air actuated, clutchless shifting system, similar to Formula 1 systems run throughout Europe and Asia. Throttle at full twist, just keep it there and hit the “UP” button. Good stuff! Imagination and preparation are small contributions to this double-century demon’s success and amazing performance, the rest of what makes Kevin Blais’ 2008 Suzuki GSX 1300R so extraordinary comes from the competent and masterful hands of Kevin, Richard, Paul and Ron from Blais Cycle’s in Miami. They have been race prepping and modifying everything from Suzukis and Yamahas to Triumphs and Harleys for many years. Great reviews, great service, potent performance, and some of the baddest sport bikes turned out in this area for a long time running. Check out their shop and dyno room online at, call ‘em at 305.654.8114, or even stop in to their showroom at 1622 NE 205 Terrace, Miami, FL 33179. Meet legendary tuners and expand your expectations! JULY 2010 • BIKES & BEAUTIES 35


Classic by mark kobar



hen I think of Mercedes Benz, the first automobile that pops into my bean is the incredible 1954 300SL coupe, sporting the ultra-futuristic gullwing doors, making it a classic at the top of its peer group. Those Benzes now fetch astronomical prices at auction, comparable to the ‘62-’64 Ferrari GT’s and GTO’s. A dream car, really. A motor car that you keep tucked away in the back of your head for a long, long time… just in case. A Mercedes


was filling up that spot in David’s brain from Cafe 27, and those fantasies have finally come to fruition for him with his 2006 CLS55 AMG. Mercedes Benz desperately sought to compete with BMW’s 6-Series offerings, mid-size coupes and sedans with many varying levels of trim and power trains. Larger than MB’s mid-size cars and less imposing than their full-size S-class, the CLS fits right in between, with a number of engines, transmissions, ride control systems and interior

and exterior appointments available to the prospective buyer. The CLS55 AMG is low and sleek, akin to a luxury sport coupe, yet is equipped with a full battery of side hatches for both front and rear occupants. The 112” wheelbase and curb weight just over two tons allow this family-sized bullet to perform and handle with the best sports cars out there. The exterior is all Mercedes, its sloping and tapered front and rear clips evoking visions of a rocket prepared to launch. David’s


CLS55 AMG got special treatment with a set of HRE twenty inch rims equipped with Michelin Z-rated 30’s, lending to a splendid view of the crimson AMG brake calipers. Inside the greenhouse you are greeted by yards of slate and gray hides inset with glossy natural wood trim panels. The CLS55 has airbags on all sides of the passenger compartment, making it safer than many, as well as everything else you would expect in a world-class supercar; memory seats, thirteen speaker Harmon Kardon audio system, full nav and online info system, steering wheel mounted controls, huge sunroof, power everything… the list goes on. In addition, subtle AMG badging can be found throughout both the inside and out of

the CLS55 AMG, and that usually means something a little more significant may be residing under the skin of this pitch black Bavarian beast. This Benz lives up to AMG’s reputation in spades! I recall AMG from the mid eighties, creating such heralded monsters as the AMG Hammer, a 197mph 4-door grocery-getter based on the ‘87 300E stuffed with a 5.6 liter 360 horse V8. Mercedes Benz and AMG have partnered on a multitude of projects over the decades, and went all out when it came to the CLS55, installing a supercharged 5.4 liter, 24-valve V8 under the front bonnet! Power is rated at 469 horses at 6,100 rpm and staggering 516 ft. lbs. of torque attained way down at 2,600 revolutions. A Mercedes 5-speed gearbox runs in either auto or full manual mode, letting the pilot opt for a more exhilarating driving experience if the need arises. With ample amounts of torque always waiting, the Benz seven-speed was not utilized in the CLS55 AMG, however the ride control system was necessary, albeit altered. You still have three choices for the air suspension, from somewhat soft and supple to downright sporting, where body roll and launch and braking body shift is substantially minimized, but all three seem a bit stiffer than the stock CLS55. Straight-line performance num-

bers reflect the supercharged AMG’s dominance, reaching sixty miles per hour is a blinding 4.2 seconds and back down to zero again in about 117 feet, thanks to AMG’s eight-piston ABS calipers binding on big 14.2” front discs, with rear discs only slightly smaller. The CLS55 AMG will scream past the 1/4 mile in under thirteen seconds, unheard of for a sedan in the past! Fuel economy is what you would expect for a luxury car, not a high performance supercar, between 14 and 20 miles to the gallon, and with plenty of comfortable passenger room, a 21-gallon tank and 16 cubic feet of storage in the trunk, this Bentley-beater is more than adequate for exciting jaunts through the countryside or extended touring for the whole family. Lest you never forget that under your right toe lurks a firebreathing dragon from the heart of the Black Forest! All this incredible performance did come at a price when first introduced back in 2006, upwards of the 90 grand mark, but it is well worth the extra green. AMG has blessed yet another Mercedes with it’s magical intuition and engineering, conjuring power and ride tuning as only they can do for a Benz. The 2006 CLS55 AMG is making me think of that old ‘87 Hammer again, magnificent power in a beautifully prepared body, and performance numbers to match the most exotic automobiles in the world. You can actually DRIVE this one, though, and still hear you Mozart over the motor! Happy motoring, and thanks for the ride, David! JULY 2010 • BIKES & BEAUTIES 37






When did kids become such assholes? Let me start by saying, I grew up in the South. I am 41 years old. When I was growing up, I had chores. My parents only asked me to do something once. THERE WAS NO COUNTING 1, 2, 3 OR ANY OF THAT CRAP! THEY COMMANDED WE JUMPED! WE DIDN’T GET TO GO HAVE FUN IF THE GRASS HADN’T BEEN CUT OR MY ROOM WAS MESSY. THEY MADE THE RULES AND WE FOLLOWED THEM. PERIOD! Now it’s a lot dif ferent. I see kids talking back to their parents and being a smar t ass to them as well as other adults in public. WTF! My buddy who has a teenage boy is telling me about him cutting the grass and I ask isn’t that what your son is for? He replies, “yeah, I can’t get him to do any yard work!’ Yet I see this kid with a cell phone and computer, hanging with his friends no matter what. GOD!!! This makes me sound like my father but, if the kid doesn’t want to work around the house how will he ever work once he is an adult? And if I didn’t do my chores my ass was sitting inside with no TV. I didn’t have computers or a cell phone but, my TV and home phone privileges were taken away. God forbid I ever talked back to my dad!!! My ass would have been black and blue for a week! Yeah, I know that’s against the law now days but that law is bullshit!!! I only got spanked about 3 times my whole life and that’s all it took!! This “time out” crap doesn’t work and neither does counting! Counting just tells the kids, “Ok I have till 2 and 3 before I have to do what I’m told.” Life has changed a lot over the last 25 yrs. I will admit that some things are for the better but, a lot are for the worse. These kids will be running the countr y as we get older and look how fucked up it is already getting. The schools aren’t for raising your kids it’s for teaching them. Raising them is the parent’s responsibility!!! So let’s star t beating these damn kids and taking shit away. It is for their own good!! Trust me! Of coarse this is coming from someone with no kids! LOL Ride Safe & Have Fun. Capt Mike



Back to square one

So I get up early Saturday morning in order to get a head start on the day, get to Lionel’s, and finally get this clutch problem fixed. After a little breakfast and coffee, I’m on my way by 7:30 a.m. Even at that hour it was starting to get hot. Really hot! Even though it was only late June it was already looking to be one of those long, hot, humid New Jersey summers. AT THE TIME, THE ONLY TV I HAD WAS A 19” B&W, BUT I ALWAYS FOLLOWED ABC CHANNEL 7 NEWS WITH ROGER GRIMSBY AND BILL BEUTEL. Aside from the daily war news, body counts, and peace marches, there was another story catching the country’s attention. NASA was preparing a Saturn rocket to take three guys to the moon. Not just around the moon, but an actual moon landing. We were going to put a man on the moon before the USSR did! Just like JFK said we would do before he was assassinated. The Summer of 1969, and a man on the moon. What a story! But I had a much more important mission that day, and that was to get this BSA fixed, once and for all. So I fired up the beast and headed to Lionel’s house. Pulling out on to RT 18, just for the hell of it, I thought I’d try a little experiment. Being an engineering student I knew that when experimenting you only ever charged one variable at a time. If you changed more than one variable, and the problem was fixed, you would never know which change caused the fix. So I get to a red light, come to a full stop, then accelerate quickly through the gears, and sure enough, 3,000-5,000 rpm causes the clutch to slip like a MFer. Next red light I hit, I very gently accelerate through all four gears, and funny thing, no slip in the clutch!!! It held from 3,000-5,000 rpm! “Damn, this is weird.” I thought to myself. “Better try this again!” So I did. Grabbed a handful of throttle, nailed it, and it slipped from 3,000-5,000 rpm in every gear. When I just eased it through the gears, no slipping. Really, really strange. Problem was, I couldn’t just ease it along. I got this bike for the power. So I take it easy the rest of the way to Lionel’s house and pull into his driveway about 8:30 a.m. It’s getting hotter still, but at least Lionel has a big old industrial box fan cranking up a mild breeze. We let the Lightning cool down for a while, then got it up on Lionel’s hydraulic lift to make it much easier to work on. First, the primary cover had to come off. I got my manual out and started to thumb through it when Lionel looked at me and said, “Put that thing down! We don’t need it. I’ll teach you everything you need to know about a motorcycle clutch right here and now with no manual. Now pay attention!” I watched Lionel closely as he removed the clutch springs, the center nut, the pressure plate, steel plates and friction plates, describing each part and its function as he went along. Once the basket was out, Lionel had

Put that thing down! We don’t need it. I’ll teach you everything you need to know about a motorcycle clutch right here and now with no manual. Now pay attention! me pick up all the parts and bring them over to the parts washer he had in the corner. Hey, I had to do the dirty work but I was getting an education that money couldn’t buy. After all the clutch parts were cleaned, Lionel went in the house and came back out with a mirror that normally hangs in the hallway. “WTF?” I asked Lionel. “You’ll see,” he answered. He laid the mirror down on the ground, then one by one set each clutch plate on it one at a time. He explained to me that he was checking each plate to make sure there was no warpage. If any of the plates were warped, the clutch would slip. He then checked the fiber pads, and once that was done he took a piece of sandpaper to each plate to scuff it up for better grab. While I was being educated, I was also going through the manual. After Lionel inspected the basket, he said, “Ok, it’s ready to go back together. There’s some wear, but it should work just fine.” While looking in the manual, I saw a note that the clutch pushrod should be removed, cleaned, and inspected, then put back in, and I asked Lionel about that. He looked at me and said, “About time you’re learning something. But no, we don’t need to mess with the pushrod. Nothing ever goes wrong with them.” Lionel told me to sit down on the milk crate we were using for a stool because I was going to put the clutch back together. Lionel went step by step, and I followed his every word. He explained that even though it was a “wet” clutch, we would put it back together “dry” because the oil would get where it needed to be all on its own. So I get the whole thing back together, put the case back on, made the necessary adjustments and checked the action looking through the inspection cover. I put the oil in, tightened the cover, and it was ready to go. Damn, I was excited. Finally!!! This baby was going to fly!!! I started it up and Lionel said to let it warm up, then take it easy for a bit, just going through the gears to let the plates settle in. I followed his advice, and then it was time. I didn’t burn rubber, but gave it some gas, then flew up to 3,000 rpm where the tach once again jumped to 5,000 rpm with no increase in speed. My heart sank and my first thought was “Oh F*CK!!!! Still???” This piece of shit was still slipping like a MFer. Back to Lionel’s house and back to square one. Ride safe, KC JULY 2010 • BIKES & BEAUTIES 40



I don’t have anything nice to say, so go sit someplace else I don’t quite get this whole social media thing. I understand that it is good to keep up with old friends and see what everyone is up too but it seems to be taking on a life of its own. NOW PEOPLE ARE USING IT INSTEAD OF NORMAL EVERYDAY SOCIALIZING AND SOMEHOW POSTING AN UPDATE THAT YOU DID THIS OR THAT OR WHATEVER IS ALMOST MANDATORY. I AM WALKING THE DOGS, I WENT POOH, OR THE CLASSIC LYRICS TO YOUR FAVORITE SONG FROM 1987. SO WHILE IN ITS OWN WAY IT DOES SERVE A PURPOSE MOST OF IT IS MIND NUMBING USELESS BULLSHIT THAT MAKES ME NOT WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND ANYMORE! Yes, I do use Facebook but not for the reasons you may think or could even possibly imagine. I am not there to catch up with high school chums I care so much for that I managed to completely cut them out of my life for the last twenty years. I am not there to see who won your son’s soccer game. I couldn’t give two shits! I don’t care about your political views. So just wipe Obama’s chum off your chin and post something useful. Like pictures of your daughter and her friends having a pillow fight in little schoolgirl outfits! You star t posting that shit on there and I guarantee you’ll get a bunch more comments and your daughter will get a lot more friend requests. That is what I am there for and yet people continually fail to put racy photos on my post! What gives?? Instead of those little morsels of barely legal teen lust that I so desire, what do I get? Some supertard posting twenty or so clips a day about American Idol, the new season of Big Brother or whatever that Chocolate mess Oprah is talking about this week! Get a friggin life you bitch and get off my face book page. You give one little piece of cripple charity to some drooler you went to high school with and you are stuck reading this crap every day. God must fuckin hate me. Couldn’t her caretaker or nurse cast a little sunlight on the world and put a stick through her wheel or anything to keep her away from the computer,

You give one little piece of cripple charity to some drooler you went to high school with and you are stuck reading this crap every day. GOD MUST FUCKIN' HATE ME.

maybe a little manipulation of the brake. Here is an idea, let’s put it at the bottom of a flight of stairs, videotape the approach, and post that shit. I’d watch that, twice!

I bet all my face book friends would really like to know that I planted a rose garden but I need help getting more sheep! Shucks, maybe they can help me? At what point does one think anybody, anywhere would care? The only posts to do with a farm should involve young tight girls and goats. At least some people have an excuse though. The rest should feel nothing but shame. How can you be sitting at home and think, hey wouldn’t a nice little game of Farmville cap of f this momentous day or maybe zoo world? Then the brilliant idea hits. I bet all my face book friends would really like to know that I planted a rose garden but I need help getting more sheep! Shucks, maybe they can help me? At what point does one think anybody, anywhere would care? The only posts to do with a farm should involve young tight girls and goats. What your average nineteen year old eastern European girl would consider a regular Saturday afternoon. I think people do it just to irritate me. They actually just sit there and think that if they post photos of their Farmville game that it will be the last straw and I’ll just snap. While not being too far of f from the truth it has not worked so some genius has taken a new approach. Posting hourly updates about the search for a lost kitten in shitty little upstate New York. They are so lucky I am not there. I would find that little kitty and then it would be lights out. Two meows and one photo posted. Adios kitty! So to summarize; I hate cats, hate my friends, find cripples funny as shit, hate children, think bestiality is ok for euro sluts, and find teen girl pillow fights slightly arousing. That about sums up Jef f in a nutshell!


FIFA Bans Referee That Cost USA Team Win Against Slovenia The referee that nullified the winning goal against Slovenia has been red-carded by FIFA. Koman Coulibaly, of Mali, who worked his first ever World Cup match, will not be assigned any more matches, but his horrendous call against the United States team cannot be appealed. LIKE IT OR NOT, THE US TEAM HAS TO LIVE WITH THE FACT THAT GOAL THAT WASN’T WILL NEVER BE. ON THE FLIP-SIDE THOUGH, A WORLD CUP IN DANGER OF BECOMING THE DULLEST SINCE ITALIA’S 1990 CUP WIN, HAS FOUND ITS HEARTBEAT, WITH THE UNITED STATES OF ALL TEAMS, PROVIDING THE MOST PULSATING MATCH TO DATE! The controversial 2-2tie against slovenia may not have been the result the US wanted or deser ved, given referee Coulibaly’s blown call, but it was a match that added a shot of adrenaline to a tournament that has just begun to take shape. The boring opening matches, in which only 24 goals were scored in the first 16 games - a measly 1.5 average - has given way to more spirited plays in which the goal-scoring average has doubled and now anything seems possible. We saw that in the US comeback against Slovenia, in which the Americans became only the 21st team in World Cup histor y to recover from a 2-0 deficit to get a tie. Outplayed and outsmar ted, the US got its blood up in a furious second-half rally that must have captivated even the most stubborn American soccer cynic. What should have been a great result, however one that kept the US alive in group C, was spoiled somewhat by the mistaken ref (Coulibaly), who saw a foul where there was none to deny a winning goal by Maurice Edu. United States coach, Bob Bradley who undoubtedly saw a good goal nullified, downplayed the stirring comeback stating that his team was

“cheated from a fair outcome”. Bradley’s call for justice was warranted, but on balance the US was for tunate to come away with a point. For the second time in two matches, the team looked flat and ill prepared early on, giving up an easy goal. And, for the second time, they needed a bit of luck to get even. The 1-1 tie against England will be remembered for goalkeeper Rober t Green’s misplay blunder on Clint Dempsey’s 40 yard soft kick goal. The comeback against Slovenia began when Landon Donovan sneaked by two sleeping Slovenia defenders and got a one-on-one chance against the goalie, in which Donovan drilled a high shot that sailed straight over the stunned goalie, and into the Slovenian net. Again Donovan played an accurate cross that Boca Raton’s Josy Altidore headed down to a running Michael Bradley for the 2-2 equalizer. And finally it was Donovan’s free kick cross that Edu’s per fectly timed goal, looked like the apparent winner - only to be neglected by Coulibaly’s horrendous call It helps to have luck on your side, but thus far luck has only gotten the US two draws (at this writing). It must win against Algeria to have any hope of advancing to the final 16 team knockout phase. Here’s hoping that the US team will advance - even if you are not the cynical, American soccer fan. This US team is competing hard and so far both ties have never-the-less been extremely compelling! Marky Marc JULY 2010 • BIKES & BEAUTIES 42


Let's ride out

..Independence is a wonderful thing... and so are the Independents. ALL friends. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, wonderful people!!! Can’t wait for our NMHFI Annual, this time at Hollywood Johnny’s... WENT TO CAFE 27 WITH MODEST MIKE AND NOHAWK MIKE FOR SHOE’S H O R S E S H O E TOURNAMENT - GREAT FUN,PIPING HOT AND PAID A VISIT TO OUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS IN HOLIDAY PARK,CLEANED UP A LITTLE, MADE IT A ‘FAMILY EVENT’ BY TAKING BRONSON ON THE BACK. SHOULD BE MANDATORY TO VISIT THEM AND CLEAN UP THE SITES EVERY TIME WE’RE OUT THERE. Every year we have been celebrating Frenchy’s, Charles the Great’s, Pete’s, Black Mike’s,Craig’s,Keewie’s,Andy’s, ARM’s, Dano’s,Old Man Garry’s, Joe’s and everyone else’s birthdays the second Saturday of June. It’s a tradition. This year, there has been so much going on that we just had to postpone it. So, we’ll have our NMHFI Annual “Frenchy’s Bir thday Par ty Celebration of Life” on S a t u r d a y, J u l y 10th @ Hollywood Johnny’s ,8PM-ish (Dixie&Sheridan) There will be food, merriment and live music - well, you know, the usual fun. IF anyone would like to have something like a “Commitment Ceremony” (Not talking

straight jacket here), or a renewal of vows, please,let me know ASAP, so we have time for the arrangements and for the notary. Hollywood Johnny’s is a great place, the old Hollywood Saloon ,now all spiffied up, HUGE TV projection screen for our DVDs ( great to pay tribute to the old road warrior Dennis Hopper,btw, who left us in June- may he ride his bike in peace)...we used to hang out there a lot, at the outside bar - somewhere I have pictures still, of some of the guys sitting where “You’re a sissy” or ,something to that effect (ahem) is written on the beam directly above - only visible to whomever is sitting across the bar,LOL! If you’d like a change of pace, drop by Tuna’s on W Dixie, with their outside bar and also live music,our old beloved NiteCap, the Monterey Club, Stratford’s,Frenchy’s on Mayo & Fed, G’s, the Emerald Pub, Churchill’s and our old, beeeeautiful American Legion on 64th/Bisc Blvd, with tons of unique things happening,like Resistance nights and and 80s revivals. Flossie’s and Cagney’s,of course, being our “ regulars”, that won’t change any time soon,hopefully! Condolences to the family and friends of Clarence Wolf Guts, 86, the last surviving Oglala Lakota code talker, who died June 16th at the SD State Veterans Home in Hot Springs. He’s the last surviving code talker from the whole Lakota Sioux nation. It’s a little like the passing of an era. Code talkers were the most famous group of Native American soldiers to radio messages from the battlefields from 1942 on, but 15 other tribes used their languages to aid the Allied efforts in World War II, Cherokee being the one that also had a written language..He and his fellow Code Talkers have had a lasting impact on the course of history and helped lead the Allies to success during World War II. He will be greatly missed, but his contributions to the nation will live on. Clarence Wolf Guts was an American hero; he was courageous and self-sacrificing. I have a great deal of respect for Clarence and for the extraordinary contributions Mr. Wolf Guts and his fellow Native American Code Talkers made to our country.He considered himself just a man, nobody important. A man that tried to make life better for his family and his people. To me that is his, that is their legacy, to be able and willing to help people. To him, that was being a warrior. We need more warriors like him, like them, in the world, especially now. We need more “ Wolf Guts”. We can’t thank our Armed Forces enough, nor our faithful friends and loved ones,for being in our lives,being there for us and ‘having our back”. Have a fantastic 4th of July, enjoy yourselves at our Annual at Hollywood Johnny’s - EVERYONE with a positive attitude is welcome - please, check for changes and updates.. PLEASE BE SAFE and “ Ride,Mutha,Ride”- Ride it like you stole it. Uli




ARRESTED with burrito in pants MELBOURNE, Fla. -- A Brevard County doctor dressed up in a CAPTAIN AMERICA outfit was arrested with a burrito in his tights. What he allegedly did at the police station got him into more trouble. DR. RAYMOND ADAMCIK, 54, would probably rather forget about the weekend when he was arrested on charges of battery, disorderly conduct, drug possession and trying to destroy evidence. It’s not what you would expect from a doctor or Captain America. The Palm Bay family physician was at On Tap bar as part of a pub-crawl with other medical professionals. It was a sort of costume party on a bus that would take them around from bar to bar. Everything was fine until, witnesses said, Captain America started getting too forward with a burrito he kept tucked inside his blue tights, a burrito that ultimately landed him in jail. It’s certainly not the Captain America from the comic books. This one is accused of sinister deeds more fitting of a villain than a superhero. On Saturday night, when a costume par ty full of medical professionals stopped at On Tap Cafe, police said Adamcik had a burrito stuffed below the waistband of his costume and was asking women if they want to touch it. When one refused, he allegedly took out the burrito and groped her. The woman called police and, when they arrived, the officers wrote in their re-

port “there were so many cartoon characters in the bar at the time, all Captain America’s were asked to go outside for a possible identification.” The woman pointed out Adamcik and the burrito was found in his boot. He was taken to the police station. There, while in a holding cell, police said, he asked to use the bathroom and tried to flush a joint, also hidden in his blue tights, down the toilet. “The officer observed him try to flush something into the toilet. He tried to flush it. The officer was able to reach inside and grab part of what he tried to flush,” said Jill Frederiksen, Melbourne Police Department. The doctor wasn’t in when Eyewitness News went by and didn’t return calls. He may now have to rely on a lawyer instead of his superpowers to get him out of the jam. “This is definitely an unusual situation. We don’t usually arrest people in costume,” Frederiksen said. No super powers got Adamcik out of jail. He needed $2,000 cash bail and then, once he got out of jail, he still stopped to pose for pictures on the way out. It is unclear right now whether the doctor could lose his medical license if he’s convicted. Tuesday, Eyewitness News learned that Adamcik was checking himself into a rehad program and taking a temporary leave from his medical practice.

NOW THAT’S PUNISHMENT… NOT! It’s clear, based on a may time magazine dispatch, that norway’s felons and miscreants are of a superior class than america’s.  When Norway’s brand-new Halden prison opened in April, the country’s King Harald V headlined a glitzy gala that celebrated what has been called the world’s “most humane” lockup.  Among the facilities:  a sound studio, jogging trails, a guest house for inmates’ visitors, and a scrumptious-smelling “kitchen laboratory” where murderers and


bandits can learn to cook.  Guards are unarmed (half are women) and intermingle with the rapists, drug dealers, and others, dining with them and joining them in intramural sports.  The recidivist rate for norwegian prisoners in general is only 20 percent (versus 50-60 percent in the united states), but it is still early to tell whether Halden’s prisoners will find life behind bars so pleasant that they don’t mind risking another stretch there by returning to crime.

LEADING ECONOMIC INDICATORS CUTTING-EDGE PRODUCTS A Portland, Ore., Inventor recently began offering a color ful patch designed to cover the area just below a dog’s tail.  The “rear gear” is featured on the handmade-crafts’ site, TYRONE HENRY AND FERMIN ESSON, of Opa Locka, Fl. told repor ters they were recently granted a patent for “saggy pants” that they say will satisfy young men’s street- fashion sense yet not run afoul of municipal laws around the country banning exposed underwear. portland mercury, wcbs- tvwfor-tv (miami) LEAST COMPETENT CRIMINALS NOT READY FOR PRIME TIME JOHN CAMPANA, 18, was detained by police after they found him with several pieces of expensive jewelry in Gainesville, Fla.  As they were questioning him about where he got the jewelry, campana (according to the police report) started shaking and sweating, and then fainted. (He was charged several days later with burglary.)   JASON ROBINSON, 22, was arrested at a Burger King in Pine Bluff, Ark., In may after robbing the restaurant manager at gunpoint.  As the manager handed over the day’s proceeds, Robinson set his gun down on a counter to grab the money.  Not surprisingly, the manager picked up the gun and shot Robinson in the leg. gainesville sun-kfsm-tv (fort smith)-ap PEOPLE WITH ISSUES RECURRING THEME Police in Austin, TX. Executing a search warrant in may, discovered an elaborate, three-story tunnel complex extended as far as 35 feet underground, beneath the home of JOSE DEL RIO, 70, which he apparently dug over at least a two-year period.  Police also found 19 guns, plus ammunition, batteries, and compressed gas (which presented a serious safety hazard). The property showed signs of caving in and posed a threat to adjacent property, as well.  Police noted that Del Rio (who neighbors said “kept to himself”) was cooperative during the search although he offered no particular explanation for the tunnels. austin american- statesman IRONIES BETTY LOU LYNN, 83, was mugged, and had her wallet stolen, in her new hometown of Mount Air y, N.C., In April.  Lynn is the actress who played Barney Fife’s best girl, thelma lou, in


The reason career criminal KEVIN POLWART gave for his brief february escape from New Zealand’s Auckland Prison was to demonstrate that he posed no threat to society on the outside (and thus that he should be parolled).  (Instead, authorities added nine months to his sentence.) A Scotland judge was lenient with GEORGE MCINTOSH, 53, who had been convicted of embezzling the equivalent of about $87,000 from two pro golfing organizations. Mcintosh claimed that his medication for parkinson’s disease had made him “compulsive[ly]” generous so that he needed to embezzle money in order to buy gifts for his friends. new zealand press association-bbc news

the “andy griffith” tv show and had lived in los angeles until she became alarmed at the city’s crime rate.  She decided in 2007 to move to the quieter, peaceful mount airy, which was griffith’s birthplace and the model for the tv town of mayberr y. usa todaymount airy news

COMPELLING EXPLANATIONS PAULA WOLF, 41, was arrested in stevens point, wis., And charged with hitting four pedestrians at random with projectiles on April 21st.  In Wolf’s car, police found a blow gun, a slingshot, and a bucket of rocks, and after questioning, wolf told police that she just “liked to hear people say ‘ouch.’” cbs news-ap AMERICA WHAT A COUNTRY! In 2007, after a stay in the United States distinguished mainly by his acquisition of a long police record, illegal immigrant CECIL HARVEY, 55, was deported to his native barbados.  However, according to records revealed by the new york post in may, harvey received, in late 2009, one last remembrance of America:  $145,000 from the City of New York in settlement of his lawsuit over having once been held at Rikers Island Jail for about a month longer than the law permitted. new york post


Catching air

A few months back our Editor-in-Chief, Christy, approached me and asked if I wanted to write about my maritime experiences, at first it sounded like a good idea, then I procrastinated a little and man did she rip me a new one.... SO HERE I AM, THE NAME’S JAMES BALBONI BUT, MOST EVERYONE THAT KNOWS ME CALLS ME JIMMY ON LAND OR BIMINI JIM AT SEA. I GREW UP IN THE SEAFARING CITY OF BOSTON. THE RICH MARITIME HISTORY SURROUNDING NEW ENGLAND HELPED INSPIRE AN ONGOING TWENTY YEAR CAREER WITH THE UNITED STATES MERCHANT MARINES. During my extensive time at sea I have had the opportunity to archive some of the most impressive images of area lighthouses and other nautical landmarks at some of our nation’s most prestigious ports of call. When I re-acquire my land legs I spend most of my time shooting images for myself, various clients and of course, Bikes & Beauties Magazine. My love of the ocean has influenced my artistic eye so much so that nearly ninety percent of all of my photography involves the ocean in some way. The focus of my column will be to provide you with a slight glimpse of what I see when I look out at to sea; its beauty with endless possibilities of enjoyment in marine time fare. I hope you enjoy what I bring to the new and improved Bikes & Beauties Magazine! Ahoy! Bimini Jim

This month we are taking a look at one of the most exciting and fastest growing sports here in Florida, Kite Boarding! Most commonly found on the East Coast, Kite Baording is, for lack of better words – a mutant! Take a little paragliding mixed with a little wind surfing, diced in with the obvious wakeboarding, add a dash of sea weed and a little Florida sunshine stir in a little surfing and there you have it, Kite Boarding is born. After scouting Fort Lauderdale Beach we ran into local Kite Boarding Pro who is also a certified instructor and owns his own school, Graham Goodwin. Graham has taught here in Pompano Beach and Lauderdale by the Sea since 1999.

GRAHAM: Typically students can learn in 3 to 6 lessons. BIMINI JIM: How much will I have to spend in gear? GRAHAM: The gear including your kite, board and harness will cost you anywhere from $1,500 to $1,800 and the price goes up from there. BIMINI JIM: I know you are an instructor, where can I learn and how much is it going to cost me? GRAHAM: Well my school is called Fort Lauderdale Kite Surfing School. We are located at 993 East Oakland Park Blvd. 954-4105419. Classes cost $75.00 an hour. BIMINI JIM: How safe is it? GRAHAM: As with any action sport, you must have lessons. Save yourself a lot of aggravation and injuries and don’t “do it yourself. It’s not a good idea.”

BIMINI JIM: How hard is it to learn how to ride the air?



by jill souza

Life's saddle bags

When I say saddlebags most Bikes & Beauties readers of course think of the leather pouches strapped to your bike. If you’re a woman, you probably also think of the fat that unfortunately accumulates at the tops of your legs- oh so close to your butt! AFTER ONE OF THE WORST AND BEST MONTHS, I CAN SAY THE THING I DO NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IS SADDLEBAGS – ON MY LEGS AT LEAST! I worked my saddlebags and butt off moving my entire warehouse and office to a new home in Boynton Beach, Florida. The move had been a long time coming, but no matter how much planning I could have done, I was in no way prepared for the amount of work involved. Our business had grown for 18 years in the same warehouse. Years of the former owners junk was buried behind our stuff. Two construction dumpsters were filled to the brim with dated props, candelabras, and many photo memories from a lot of former clients. It felt really good to toss it all away and start fresh in our new space. Now back to those biker saddlebags….some people can only pack enough for one night into their saddlebags. Others can ride cross-country and have enough stuff to actually live from. How much stuff can you really stuff in there??? That’s kind of how I felt with my life. Sometimes you keep stuffing and stuffing more stuff inside until there’s no room for any new stuff to go. It was time to clean out the saddlebags.

That’s what prompted our sudden move. It was time to stop talking about doing things and do it. I’ve taken the last few weeks to clear my head and try to remember to appreciate the small stuff. Getting filthy and sweaty, but having a clean organized space to be proud of. Getting support from your friends and family. Taking a swim at the beach with a great friend that you haven’t seen much of lately. Getting things off your chest and really talking and listening with the people you love and who love you. Buying the good wine to celebrate your accomplishments. Taking a longer walk with your puppy than you feel like since it’s 100 degrees, but he’s not ready to go home. Paying the best dog walker ever to give the dog extra walks- thanks Tyler! Girl talk with my niece who all of a sudden is so grown up. Giving support to your friends and family. Spending some time on the boat with kids whose company you’ve missed. Reminiscing about the good times in the past. (Thanks for the picture Mom & Dad! Shows I was a biker already at age three.) I could go on and on… A bad month turned into a great one overnight. The saddlebags are empty now, but I’m ready to get on the backseat and fill them up again.




I was visiting Clearwater Beach, Florida and staying in a modest hotel on the beach. It was another hot, beautiful day and I was laying by the pool. I was very happy to be the only one left on the deck. Everyone had gone in to shower and enjoy the night life that this part of Florida has to offer. Me, I wanted to relax a little longer and finish sipping on my strawberry daiquiri. My skin was bronzed and oiled from a day in the sun and my hair looked like a lion’s mane with blonde streaks running through it. I walked to the edge of the black wrought iron fence and proceeded to stare at the sky….there were purples and pinks running rampid thru the clouds. The sun was about to set and I was taking in the beauty of it all when I noticed out of the corner of my eye a very young man on his balcony. I looked over and smiled at him. He smiled back. He looked like he was enjoying the view as the sun was displaying its glorious splendor for all to see. He waved and smiled again. I waved and smiled back at him, wondering if he was enjoying the sky or the view of me in my tiny little two piece. He motioned inside his room until another young man joined him on the balcony. They both sat down in the little plastic chairs that hotels provide and continued with this staring and waving and looking. Neither would take their eyes away from me. I felt my heart start to flutter as I realized I was the view that was being enjoyed from the balcony. Both men were very handsome and without shirts. I could see their young muscles bulging and tanned. I looked them up and down and smiled to them my approval. I see the waitress coming with another daiquiri, just as I’m about to tell her I did not order that, she looks up to the balcony where the guys are standing and says,” room service”. I take my drink and again, smile at my young admi-

rers. The men go inside their room as I walk to the jaccuzzi. I set my beautiful red drink with the umbrella on top within arms reach, and I sit down in the warm, bubbly water to finish unwinding before I shower and prepare for my evening. The breeze is blowing warm air from the ocean and I close my eyes and lean back into the water. Mmmmmm… I open my eyes to reach for my drink, I see him approaching. Still no shirt and in his swim trunks, he walks right to the jaccuzzi’s edge and smiles at me. “Thank you for the drink,” I said to him as I once again take in his chiselled features. As I take a sip of deliciousness, he motions to me as if to ask if it’s ok to join me. I ask him if he speaks english and to my surprise, he just continues staring at me, smiling. Now Iam starting to understand all the smiling and waving. This adorable man in front of me does not speak a lick of english. I’m frozen and wondering what to do next. I look at him and….you guessed it….smiled. We stared at each other for a very long time, smiling and speaking in our native tongues, neither one understanding a word the other is saying, but doing an awful lot of smiling. He was so young and so handsome, I couldn’t take my eyes off him. I took a sip of my drink and then I leaned into him very slowly and I got very close to his face. Still smiling I moved closer and closer until my lips were touching his. He grabbed me swiftly and pulled me close, kissing me with all the longing of the past two hours. I reached down to touch him and he was ready for me. I untied my top and let it float around my waist. He was kissing me every where my skin was showing and caressing everything under water. His hands were very experienced for someone so young. I closed my eyes and let him work his magic on my body for a very long time. Eventually, I saw my bathing suit bottoms float to the edge of the steps and before I knew it, he was inside me. Gently at first, then with a little more vigor, he began to rock his body back and forth with very deliberate motion. As we kept our eyes peeled for any passers by, we were careful to not look too obvious, but when he flipped me around and sat me on top of him, I was thankful that it wasn’t long after that. For a few more minutes we rocked each other and then it was finished. I sat there on top of him, looking at him …smiling.



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HA ha HA ha HA Ever wonder what the wild kingdom is really like? We found some proof... BEWARE when there is...

Talk among the animals Ok... Which one of you idiots ate the keys?

Kick his ass, Phil!

Take his wallet!

Does it say "ASSHOLE" on my forehead?!

Come here and smell my finger, you scaly bitch.... HA HA HA!

SCREW YOU! I'm goin' home!


You didn't say my ass was fat last night, douche-bag!

Next time, I'm bangin' some sheep!

You go fetch, fuck-face!



duane jenkins 8-25-1973 • 6-3-2010

DUANE ALLEN JENKINS, AGE 36 of Galloway, Ohio died unexpectedly Thursday June 3,2010, as a result of a motorcycle accident. Duane left behind his wife Kelly Jenkins of 12 years and two sons Dilan 10 and Kadan 6 his two boys were his life. He was a great man. Duane always had a way to make you laugh, he was definitely the life of the party no matter where he was and he loved his two boys. Duane's nieces and nephews will miss him so much. He was always so good with kids, maybe because he was a big kid himself. He loved coaching his boys in football, baseball, wrestling and soccer. He loved Florida went on vacation there as much as he could Duane loved the Miami Dolphins and considered himself their #1 fan. Everyone jokes that Duane was born a Miami Dolphins fan he followed Dan Marino from the university of Pittsburgh to the Miami Dolphins in 1983 when Duane was only 10 years old, he was always dressed in Dolphins attire and later in life began getting Dolphins tattoos (#13 for Marino of course) which just showed his dedication for the Miami Dolphins . He loved the outdoors especially camping, swimming, riding bikes and of course riding his motorcycle Duane was a very devoted father he enjoyed anything that was with his family,some of the special memories that his boys will never forget are when there dad dressed up in a hula skirt and hula bra and danced around the camp grounds, anything to put a smile on there faces, he always took the boys to see the latest movie that was out in the theater and when they went on there Bahamas cruise last year they walked the beach for hours looking for sand dollars and just talking something he loved to do with his sons. Kadan his youngest said he will never forget his dad pitching to him in baseball and just throwing the ball back and forth, and making funny videos together on daddy’s phone just to be silly.. these are just a few of the things they will never forget about there dad. Kelly (wife) said that her boys have truly lost the most wonderful father and she will make sure he is never forgotten in there hearts..Duane's mother, Pat said that her son could never be replaced he was the perfect son, father, and husband and man that he was her heart and soul and best friend, he was truly an angel sent from GODand she THANKS GOD for every second she had with him and she was so proud of the man he grew up to be. The thing we will never forget about Duane is that he lived life to the fullest and always had a smile on his face he new just what to say to brighten someones day, Duane has GOD in his heart, so for that we no he is in a better place, we have lost a wonderful husband, father, son, brother, uncle and friend but heaven has gained an angel his memory will live on strong in the hearts of all of us forever and forever young he will be.

the jenkins family asks

In lieu of flowers, please make contributions to Duane's wife and sons at 7719 Graphics Way Suite G Lewis Center, Ohio 43035