LOUISVILLE ADDS 4-STAR FORWARD BOYUAN ZHANG TO LOADED 2026 RECRUITING CLASS
The Cardinals continue building one of college basketball’s most talked-about rosters under Pat Kelsey
BY CALEB STULTZ
The Louisville Cardinals kept the recruiting momentum going Monday night, picking up a commitment from four-star forward Boyuan Zhang following an official visit to campus this past weekend.
Zhang is a 6-8 small forward from China who played this past season at Veritas Prep in California where he was one of the top scorers on the EYBL Scholastic circuit.
The senior averaged 20.2 points per game while rising as one of the nation’s fastest rising international prospects. Rivals lists Zhang as the No. 46 overall prospect in the 2026 class, the No. 15 small forward in the country and the No. 7 player in California.
Louisville is said to have won out over Illinois Fighting Illini men’s basketball, Oregon Ducks men’s basketball, USC Trojans men’s basketball and Minnesota Golden Gophers men’s basketball for his commitment.
The addition is another indication of the fast change happening under coach Pat Kelsey, whose first year in Louisville revived excitement around the program after years of struggles.
Kelsey has been aggressive in rebuilding Louisville both with the transfer portal and high school recruiting, helping put the Cardinals in the mix among the teams expected to contend nationally entering
the 2026-27 season.
LEO Weekly has previously reported that Louisville assembled one of the nation’s top portal classes during Kelsey’s first offseason, altering the roster entirely in a matter of weeks.
Zhang is part of a loaded transfer class that also includes former Kansas Jayhawks men’s basketball center Flory Bidunga, former Oregon Ducks men’s basketball guard Jackson Shelstad, former Arkansas Razorbacks men’s basketball star Karter Knox, Iowa forward Alvaro Folgueiras, Dayton guard De’Shayne Montgomery and USC big man Gabe Dynes.
Zhang joins fellow signees Obinna
Ekezie Jr. and Isaac Ellis on the prep side as Louisville continues to build one of the ACC’s more intriguing young cores.
Zhang has also played for China internationally, averaging 14.7 points per game at the FIBA U19 World Cup last summer while shooting over 42 percent from the field.
Scouts laud the left-handed wing with college-ready strength and advanced scoring ability at all three levels. Analysts think he could compete for playing time right away when he gets to campus.
photo
Courtesy
ANNOUNCING LOUISVILLE BURGER WEEK 2026
BY ABIGAIL FELDKAMP
Your favorite week is back! Louisville Burger Week returns from July 13-19 2026, with 50+ restaurants participating.
From gourmet blends to off-menu specialties, Louisville restaurants will be serving up burgers for just $7-$8. The goal of this week is to offer spaces for Louisvillians to embrace the food and culture of their city through a culinary exploration.
The Burger Week Kick Off will be on July 9th at Hop Atomica. There will also be a brand-new Burger Week app that will be dropping before the kick off. More details on both will be announced soon via our social media pages.
At the Kick Off, attendees will have a chance to win a Kentucky Hills Wagyu
Burger Bundle. There will be a chance to win additional prizes for those who download the app and check in to at least
4 Burger Week restaurants- including The Ultimate Grilling Prize Pack, sponsored by the Kentucky Beef Council.
Thank you to this year’s sponsors:
• Presenting sponsor- Kentucky Beef Council
• Beer sponsor- Hop Atomica
• Liquor sponsor- Jack Daniel’s
• Supporting sponsors- Kentucky Cattlemen’s and Kentucky Hills Wagyu
Visit our website for the full list of restaurants participating in the 2026 Louisville Burger Week.
EAT, DRINK AND SEE IN THIS WEEK’S STAFF PICKS
BY LEO WEEKLY STAFF
Friday, June 5
2026 Portland Festival
Portland Neighborhood | All ages | Free
Celebrate community, music, and neighborhood pride at the 2026 Portland Festival, a longtime Louisville tradition built entirely by volunteers. Featuring live music, local food vendors, a parade, and the new “Best of the West” stage spotlighting West End talent, this festival showcases the energy and creativity of one of Louisville’s oldest neighborhoods. It’s a lively, family-friendly weekend packed with local culture and community spirit.
Saturday, June 6
Butchertown Art Fair
Butchertown Neighborhood | All ages | Free
Explore art, food, and neighborhood charm at the Butchertown Art Fair, a juried outdoor event featuring artists from Louisville and beyond. Set along the 800 and 900 blocks of East Washington Street, the fair highlights painting, jewelry, ceramics, photography, and handmade goods while supporting one of Louisville’s oldest and most distinctive neighborhoods. With food vendors and a walkable setting, it’s a relaxed way to spend a summer weekend afternoon.
Friday, June 5
Louisville GreekFest 2026
Assumption Greek Orthodox Church | All ages | Free
Celebrate Greek culture, food, and community at Louisville GreekFest, a two-day festival marking 100 years of the Greek community in Louisville. The event features Greek food, pastries, desserts, live music, dancing, cultural demonstrations, and family-friendly activities at Assumption Greek Orthodox Church. It’s a festive weekend full of flavor, tradition, and neighborhood warmth.
Sunday, June 7
Ali Fest Carnival
Muhammad Ali Center | All ages | Free
Celebrate Muhammad Ali’s legacy with a free community day at the Muhammad Ali Center. Part of the 10th annual Ali Fest, the carnival includes free admission to the center, along with food, games, music, face painting, and family-friendly activities. It’s a welcoming afternoon honoring Ali’s impact on Louisville and the world.
Friday, June 5
2026 Germantown Schnitzelburg
Blues Festival
Hickory Street and Burnett Avenue | All ages | Free
Catch a weekend of blues in one of Louisville’s most beloved neighborhoods at the Germantown Schnitzelburg Blues Festival. Hosted by the Kentuckiana Blues Society and Check’s Cafe, the free festival features indoor and outdoor performances from local and regional acts, bringing live music, vendors, and a laid-back street-festival feel to the heart of Germantown.
Monday, June 8
Wine Education: Germany – Wein Down The Rhine Nouvelle Bar & Bottle | 21+ | Ticket prices vary
Dive into the world of German wine at Wein Down The Rhine, an educational tasting led by sommelier John Grisanti. Guests will explore the misunderstood and celebrated Riesling grape while hearing stories from Grisanti’s recent travels through Germany’s famed wine regions. The class includes four wine tastings and expert insights perfect for curious beginners and seasoned wine lovers alike.
Thursday, June 11
Steve-O
Louisville Comedy Club | 18+ | Ticket prices vary
Get ready for a wild night of comedy when Steve-O brings his fearless storytelling and outrageous humor to Louisville Comedy Club. Known for his no-filter style and unforgettable behind-the-scenes tales, the Jackass star delivers a high-energy performance packed with laughs and unpredictability in an intimate club setting.
Tuesday, June 16
The Legacy of York
George Rogers Clark Park | All ages | Free
Honor the life and legacy of York, the enslaved Black explorer who played a key role in the Lewis and Clark expedition, at The Legacy of York. Part of Louisville’s Juneteenth celebrations, this evening includes historical tours, poetry readings, music, and talks from local historians, artists, and community leaders reflecting on York’s lasting impact on American history.
Thursday, June 11
HypotheSIPS
Kentucky Science Center | 21+ | $30
Science meets happy hour at HypotheSIPS, an adultsonly after-hours event at the Kentucky Science Center. Explore interactive exhibits while sampling drinks from local breweries, distilleries, and wineries, all while learning about the science behind your favorite beverages. It’s a fun, social evening blending education with craft drinks and conversation.
Thursday, June 18
Kentucky Shakespeare Festival: Antony & Cleopatra
Central Park | All ages | Free
Experience Shakespeare under the stars with Antony & Cleopatra at the Kentucky Shakespeare Festival. This epic tale of romance, ambition, and tragedy comes to life in Central Park’s outdoor amphitheater, accompanied by food trucks, community performances, and family-friendly festival activities before the show begins.
Saturday, June 13
LouCity vs. Brooklyn FC
Lynn Family Stadium | All ages | Ticket prices vary
Cheer on Louisville City FC as the club continues its push toward another championship season. Known for passionate fans and a winning tradition, LouCity brings high-energy soccer action to Lynn Family Stadium in a matchup that’s perfect for longtime supporters and first-time fans alike.
Thursday, June 18
Katsura Sunshine’s Rakugo
Louisville Comedy Club | All ages | Ticket prices vary
Enjoy an evening of masterful storytelling with Katsura Sunshine’s Rakugo, blending traditional Japanese comedic theater with modern humor. Using only a fan, cloth, and expressive narration, Sunshine creates vivid characters and hilarious moments in an intimate performance that introduces audiences to one of Japan’s oldest entertainment traditions.
Friday, June 5
Boone County KY Pride Night Farm Haven LLC Wedding Venue, Union | All ages | $25+
Celebrate Pride in Northern Kentucky at Boone County KY Pride Night, an evening gathering at Farm Haven LLC Wedding Venue in Union. The event offers a welcoming space for LGBTQ+ residents, allies, friends, and families to come together for community, visibility, and celebration at the start of Pride Month.
Saturday, June 6
Latinx Pride 2026
223 E. Magnolia Ave. | All ages |
Admission details TBA
Celebrate LGBTQ+ pride the Latinx way at Latinx Pride 2026, hosted by La Casita Center. The afternoon event brings together food, music, entertainment, and community in a welcoming space that centers Latinx LGBTQ+ joy, culture, and visibility.
Saturday, June 6
Queer Louisville: Kentucky LGBTQ+ History Walking Tour with Cocktail
The Highlands | 21+ | Ticket prices vary
Explore Louisville’s LGBTQ+ history on a guided walking tour through the Highlands, one of the city’s most important queer cultural corridors. The tour blends local history, neighborhood storytelling, and a cocktail stop, offering a lively way to learn about the people, places, and movements that helped shape queer life in Kentucky
Saturday, June 6
The Satanic Temple of Kentucky Presents: Drag Me to Hell
Portal Louisville | 18+ | Ticket prices vary
Drag, dancing, vendors, and theatrical spectacle come together at Drag Me to Hell, a bold Pride-season event presented by The Satanic Temple of Kentucky. Expect a high-energy evening of performances, rituals, music, and irreverent fun at Portal Louisville.
Sunday, June 7
Kentuckiana Pride Pageant 2026
Play Louisville | 18+ | Ticket prices vary
Cheer on contestants competing for the Kentuckiana Pride court at the 2026 Kentuckiana Pride Pageant. Hosted at Play Louisville, the event highlights drag, performance, community service, and the spirit of Pride, while honoring current titleholders before a new court is crowned.
Monday, June 8
Queer To Tell: Louisville
Henry Clay Theatre | All ages | Free
Hear queer stories told by queer people at Queer To Tell, a national LGBTQ+ storytelling series making a Pride Month stop in Louisville. This edition’s theme, “There’s No Place Like Home,” features six LGBTQIA+ storytellers sharing personal reflections on belonging, family, community, and the many meanings of home.
Friday, June 12
Crystal Methyd from RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars
Play Louisville | 18+ | Ticket prices vary
RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars performer Crystal Methyd brings her offbeat humor, colorful style, and fan-favorite stage presence to Play Louisville. The night includes multiple shows and a meet-andgreet, making it a big draw for Drag Race fans and Louisville’s drag crowd.
Saturday, June 13
Richmond Pride Celebration
Irvine McDowell Park, Richmond | All ages | Free
Take a road trip to Richmond for a family-friendly Pride celebration filled with live music, drag performances, food trucks, vendors, speakers, and community resources. The annual festival creates a welcoming space for LGBTQIA+ residents and allies to celebrate visibility, inclusion, and Kentucky Pride.
Saturday, June 13
Drag Me to the Pawty 2026
Play Louisville | 18+ | $10 at the door
Drag queens and adoptable dogs share the spotlight at Drag Me to the Pawty, a fundraiser benefiting Friends of Metro Animal Services. Hosted with Play Louisville and Drag Daddy Productions, the event combines performances, community support, and plenty of good vibes for animal lovers and drag fans alike.
Sunday, June 14
Louisville Pride 5K Run Walk
Iroquois Park | All ages | Registration required
Kick off Pride Week with the fifth annual Louisville Pride 5K Run Walk at Iroquois Park. Open to runners, walkers, families, and participants of all skill levels, the event benefits both the Louisville Pride Foundation and Kentuckiana Pride Foundation while bringing the community together for a joyful morning on a closed park course.
Tuesday, June 16
Bertha: Grateful Drag
Headliners Music Hall | All ages | Ticket prices vary
Enjoy a different kind of tribute show with Bertha: Grateful Drag, a touring performance that blends the music of the Grateful Dead with the flair, comedy, and theatricality of drag. The show brings jam-band energy and queer performance together for a colorful night at Headliners Music Hall.
Wednesday, June 17
DRAG REVIVAL 2026 Hosted by May O’Nays
Highlands Community Campus | All ages | $5
Celebrate inclusion, performance, and community at the 2026 Drag Revival Hosted By May O’Nays. This annual event blends drag performances, worship music, poetry, and live entertainment into a vibrant showcase supporting LGBTQIA+ organizations and youth arts initiatives. Equal parts celebration and fundraiser, the evening highlights creativity, self-expression, and community connection.
Thursday, June 18
KPF & Chill Bar Present 10th Annual Pride Kick-Off Celebration
Chill BAR Highlands | 21+ | Free
Launch Pride Weekend at Chill BAR Highlands with the 10th annual Kentuckiana Pride Foundation Pride KickOff Celebration. The evening features the newly crowned KPF Court, performances, music by DJ S.Y.I.M.O.N.E., and remarks honoring the sponsors, vendors, media partners, and community members who help make Pride possible.
Saturday, June 20
Kentuckiana Pride Parade
NuLu to Waterfront Park | All ages | Free
Celebrate one of Kentucky’s largest LGBTQ+ events as the Kentuckiana Pride Parade marches through NuLu and ends at Waterfront Park. The parade brings together community groups, performers, local organizations, and allies for a colorful public celebration of visibility, equality, and Pride.
Saturday, June 20
Kentuckiana Pride Festival
Waterfront Park, Great Lawn | All ages | $10
Keep the celebration going at the Kentuckiana Pride Festival, a full-day gathering with entertainment, vendors, food, community organizations, and thousands of attendees from across Kentucky and Southern Indiana. The 2026 festival moves to the Great Lawn at Waterfront Park, offering more room for music, performances, and a bigger Pride celebration.
Saturday, June 20
Louisville Pride Bar Crawl
Flanagan’s Ale House and participating bars | 21+ | Ticket prices vary
Toast Pride Month during the Louisville Pride Bar Crawl, a social night of drinks, dancing, and stops at participating bars. Guests are encouraged to dress boldly, bring friends, and celebrate love, equality, and community while exploring Louisville’s nightlife.
Saturday, June 20
T’s Gag: Community Lead Pride Event
Portal at fifteenTWELVE | All ages | Ticket prices vary
Celebrate grassroots queer community at T’s Gag, a community-led Pride event at Portal at fifteenTWELVE. The gathering is designed as a space for local expression, connection, and celebration, offering an alternative Pride event rooted in community, creativity, and visibility.
LISTEN LOCAL: NEW LOUISVILLE MUSIC
New releases by Feral Vices, Dewey Kincade & The Navigators, Producing a Kind Generation, Turner, and more!
BY JEFF POLK
LEO Weekly has Spotify playlists for each Listen Local column featuring selected tracks from each reviewed release. Search Spotify for LEO Weekly and have a listen!
Public Wipeout
Lydia’s Nail Salon - EP publicwipeout.com
The description of Public Wipeout simply reads “A semi-aspirational rock band and life philosophy. We make music and mistakes. Our only fan is dead.” OK, my interest is piqued now. What exactly is this? “This EP is the culmination of several years of informal songwriting and more dedicated work to become competent performing musicians,” said vocalist Kathleen Cohen. Originally forming in Seattle, WA under the name Big Dictionary, Kathleen and co-creator Matt Cohen (guitar, bass, primary songwriter) eventually ended up in Milwaukee, WI, then moved to Louisville in the summer of 2025.
The duo’s debut EP, Lydia’s Nail Salon, is five tracks and a little over 15 minutes of pure, honest, post-grunge, mid-90s throwback alternative rock that brings to mind the likes of Veruca Salt, Letters To Cleo, Better Than Ezra, Luscious Jackson, and Minus The Bear, except a little more subdued and less radio-driven than any of those bands. Kathleen Cohen’s strong, rich, bluesy voice is perfectly complemented by Matt Cohen’s flowing guitar and bass lines that grab the listener’s attention with deep-rooted hooks. I don’t have any info on who played drums on this EP, but they did a solid job in making these songs pop.
Recorded at La La Land by producer extraordinaire Anne Gauthier, who gives this recording a lush, warm, and expansive sound and really gives the listener the feeling of being there in the room with them.
I’m not sure what their future plans are, but I am certain Public Wipeout could make a name for themselves in the local scene quickly. Their only fan may be dead, but their future fans definitely aren’t.
Seville
Velocity - album linktr.ee/seville.us
Chaz Owens is someone the local music scene needs to keep an eye on. I first took notice of him in the band LUX, who put out some amazing tunes a few years ago, then went their separate ways. This was followed up by an excellent solo EP titled Gun Safety Film under the band name Echo Project in 2024. Echo Project has since rebranded as Seville, and their latest seven-song album Velocity is truly awe-inspiring!
In his email, Owens said this was his proudest project yet, and it’s easy to see why. His songwriting abilities (with help here from T. Moore of Screaming Ears Records) continue to expand and evolve into incredibly original territories that far surpass anything I would have imagined. Fusing shoegaze, indie rock, alternative, post-hardcore, and grunge wrapped in a sea of melodic hooks and atmospheric textures, Seville doesn’t just play music, they build intricate soundscapes that completely envelop the listener. Haunting and melancholic, yet dynamic and powerful, Seville has created an incredibly intriguing original sound unlike anything else I’ve heard from the Louisville music scene. For comparison, imagine a combination of Pixies in their prime, Wand, Slowdive, and Catherine Wheel all at once. Yes, this really is on that level! Actually, the Wand influence is rather apparent, as Cory Hanson mastered this album.
Velocity isn’t a record you’re going to listen to and forget; these songs stay with you long after the record is over. Do yourself a favor and clear 40 minutes of your time, grab your headphones or earbuds, turn off all distractions, and lose yourself in these songs.
Sixteen Bones
Signs, Symptoms & Other Ill Conditions - album facebook.com/people/ Sixteen-Bones/61581804130898
After more than a decade of virtual silence, the studio project Sixteen Bones - featuring David “Saylor” Bryant (My Own Victim, Surviving Thalia, SxWxP, Warplan) and Bryan Fox (End Of Me, Bryan Fox and the Good Chiggens)rises from the ashes with their sophomore album, Signs, Symptoms & Other Ill Conditions. The duo first grabbed attention and critical acclaim back in 2014 with their self-titled debut album, which combined mostly acoustic alt-rock riffs and folk-style songwriting structures with elements of grunge, country, and Southern rock for a sound unlike anything either musician had publicly attempted before.
On the surface, Signs, Symptoms & Other Ill Conditions picks up where the self-titled record left off. However, the duo’s songwriting abilities have vastly improved. And with Bryant’s lyrics diving even deeper into his psyche by confronting abandonment, addiction, and his mental health struggles, the 11 tracks that make up Signs, Symptoms & Other Ill Conditions are as personal and introspective as one can possibly get. But Bryant’s lyrics aren’t about wallowing in darkness and self-pity; instead, they are about finding that ray of hope, clawing his way back out of the pits of despair, and reclaiming his life through exploration of what went wrong.
Signs, Symptoms & Other Ill Conditions is an intense, raw, unflinching personal journey set to extremely well-crafted songs that you don’t just listen to, you experience it along with Bryant and Fox, and it’s an incredible ride.
Sam Woodring
Mechanical Bull - EP
samwoodring.bandcamp.com
It’s always great to see people in bands you’re a fan of step out and do something unexpected and outside of their comfort zone. It doesn’t always work, but when it does, it can be something very special. Case in point, Sam Woodring (a.k.a. Sam Goblin), guitarist of local thrashy punk legends Deady, vocalist/ guitarist for the indie rock band Mister Goblin, and former vocalist/guitarist for post-hardcore band Two Inch Astronaut, has released his first solo EP, Mechanical Bull, and it is 100% folk music along the lines of James Taylor and Cat Stevens, but with perhaps a bit more of a liberal usage of the word “Fuck,” and damned if he didn’t pull it off perfectly!
For Mechanical Bull, Woodring stripped his songs down to the bare minimum, eschewing all instrumental accompaniment and musical contributors, leaving only his voice and acoustic guitar to do the heavy lifting. This gives the listener a chance to really focus on the lyrics, which are introspective and deep, yet also amusing at times and written more in story form à la Johnny Cash. Concerning the tracks, Woodring said in an Instagram post, “These are five songs about the last ten years, more or less. I’ve always wanted to be a confident enough songwriter to document things the way they’re written and say one thing instead of relying on bells and whistles,” which is exactly what he does here.
Over the course of the five tracks here, Woodring shows that he certainly has the skills to successfully pull off folk music. This is an excellent EP, and I’m hoping he keeps the songs coming, because he really shines here.
A CONVERSATION WITH THE MONKEES’ MICKY DOLENZ
BY LAUREN TAYLOR CARR
Long before boy bands were a major marketing formula, there were the Monkees — the made-for-TV quartet who helped create some of the most memorable songs of the 1960s, including classics like “I’m a Believer” and “Last Train to Clarksville.” Blending humor, musical talent, and countercultural charm, the Monkees turned what began as a television experiment into a genuine rock phenomenon, outselling both the Beatles and the Rolling Stones in 1967 and winning two Emmy Awards along the way. Six decades later, Micky Dolenz, the group’s sole surviving member, continues to celebrate the Monkees’ enduring legacy on stage. Ahead of his headlining appearance at Abbey Road on the River on Sunday, May 24, Dolenz sat down with LEO Weekly to reflect on the show’s origins, the Beatles’ influence, his unexpected role as a drummer, and how a supposed “drinking club” with Alice Cooper was really just an excuse to play softball.
LEO: Where did the original idea for “The Monkees” TV show come from? And what was the audition process like?
Micky Dolenz: “A producer named Bob Rafelson was in a folk group from the 50s to the early 60s, and he just had this idea for a TV show about this traveling musical group and he tried to sell it in the early 60s but was not successful. And then of course with the Beach Boys, the British Invasion, and everything else going on in the mid-60’s, he re-pitched it and managed to sell it. The audition process was extensive. It was singing, it was playing, acting, scene study, improvisation, everything, because the show, as you probably know, was a musical comedy about this group.”
LEO: Since you weren’t a drummer prior to casting, how did you end up in such a role?
MD: “I was just cast as a drummer! I said ‘Well, you know, I play guitar,’ and they said ‘Well, we have enough guitar players.’ I’d been in groups and could read music from playing the guitar, so I wasn’t starting from square one, and I had about a year before we went on the road live.”
LEO: Was it surreal getting invited to witness some of the Sgt. Pepper sessions at Abbey Road?
MD: “It was mind-boggling! For me, as a huge fan of the Beatles before I was even cast into the Monkees, it was huge…to all of a sudden, in a relatively short period of time, to become accepted as almost like peers. I
remember trying to be cool, and not to just wee my pants! The first Beatle I met was Paul [McCartney]. He invited me over to his house for dinner, and it was just me, him, and Martha the Sheepdog. We had a lovely dinner chat, just the two of us, and then he invited me to the sessions the next day. Of course at the time he might have mentioned the name of the album, but it hadn’t been made and hadn’t been released, obviously, so it wouldn’t have meant much.”
LEO: What do you remember about the way that the Fab Four worked in the studio?
MD: “It was much different than I expected it would be. I was expecting, I think, some kind of crazy Beatlemania-fun-fest-freakoutpsychedelic happening, but it was the middle of the day and there was nobody there but the 4 guys…sitting in folding chairs and working. Fluorescent lighting…it looked like my high school gymnasium. And they played me a couple of tracks, totally different from the kind of crazy, you know, thing that I was expecting, I guess. But then in retrospect, years later, I realized that’s how they managed to produce that incredible catalog of material in such a relatively short time. It was on account of their work ethic. They were just in the studio, 24/7 with George Martin and working. There was no partying, it was just work. From my understanding, it was John [Lennon] that was a bit of a ‘slave driver.’ I watched them record a little bit, then we sat down to have tea at 4:00 and a little guy in a uniform came in with cups of tea and we chatted and then it was like [in Lennon’s British accent] ‘Alright lads, back down the mines!’ And looking back, that’s how they
did it. There was no party, it was ‘eyes down’ as we say.”
LEO: In the 1970s you were part of the infamous “Hollywood Vampires Drinking Club.” Who else was involved and what was your mission statement?
MD: “[LAUGHTER] First of all, that is an urban myth that it was a drinking club…it was not! It was a softball team. If you find photos of us, there’s a couple floating around the internet, we’re wearing baseball shirts. I don’t think it was so much of a ‘league,’ but we would set up games with other record companies, maybe fire departments, to raise money for charity or something. I think Alice [Cooper] pitched. Peter Tork was the best softball player. There was also Albert Brooks, the comedian, and some other friends of mine,
and we would play and raise a little money and have fun on a Saturday or Sunday. Then we would go to The Rainbow Bar & Grill and have pizza and beer!”
LEO: What can folks expect from your current run of shows celebrating the large legacy of the Monkees?
MD: “Well, besides doing all the big Monkees’ hits, I do talk a lot about Davy [Jones], Peter [Tork] and Mike [Nesmith]. I also frankly talk a lot about the songwriters…I always have. To me, the songwriters were the key, obviously, to the music, just like the scriptwriters were the key to the television show.”
For more information visit arotr.com.
Courtesy photos
SUMMER ROAD TRIPS WITHIN A DAY’S DRIVE OF LOUISVILLE
BY LEO WEEKLY STAFF
When summer is in full swing, Louisville is surprisingly well situated for road trips in almost any direction. From a driver’s seat, you can reach mountain trails, national parks, Great Lakes beaches, historic resort towns and big Midwestern cities all within a 6-hour drive – no airports or rental car hassles. The result is a kind of rare flexibility: trips that can scale from a single-day jaunt to a full weekend reset, depending on how far you’re willing to push the tank. Here is a pick of the most rewarding places within easy reach.
OUTDOOR ESCAPES, PARKS & SCENIC GETAWAYS
Red River Gorge Slade, KY
~2.5 hours
Red River Gorge is a hub of adventure in the eastern U.S., with sandstone arches, forest ridges, climbing routes and secret swimming holes all in a tight wilderness area. It’s
just as good for casual hikers as it is for serious climbers, with short scenic trails next to multi-hour treks. Summer means creekside swimming and cabin stays, making it an easy weekend basecamp, as opposed to a quick stop.
Mammoth Cave
National Park
Mammoth Cave, KY
~1.5 hours
Mammoth Cave, home of the world’s longest known cave system, provides a rare opportunity to combine underground exploration with above-ground hiking. Guided tours range from simple walks through caves to extensive historical tours through huge limestone chambers. On top of that, the park adds forest trails, river access, and quiet backcountry space above ground making it one of the most unique national parks in the region.
Bernheim Arboretum and Research Forest Clermont, KY
~45 min
More for leisurely exploration than intensity, Bernheim is a nearby escape into nature with more than 40 miles of trails, art installations like the Forest Giants and expansive meadows. It’s perfect for half-day resets – long walks, picnics and low-effort outdoor time, without the drive commitment of a whole park system.
Brown County State Park Nashville, IN
~2 hrs
Indiana’s largest state park features rolling, wooded hills and a surprisingly scenic drive and hike. There’s variety in lakes, bike trails and horseback riding trails, and nearby Nashville, Ind., has galleries, shops and a small arts-town
vibe. “It’s one of the most visually different landscapes a short drive from Louisville.
Indiana Dunes National Park Porter, Indiana
5.5–6 hours
And then there’s the geography. Indiana Dunes has Lake Michigan shoreline, sandy beaches and wind-sculpted dunes that seem a world away from Kentucky’s inland landscape. Not a tropical beach trip, but wide water views, cool lake breezes and a setting in a national park that feels unexpectedly coastal for the Midwest.
Lake Michigan Beach Towns South Haven, Saugatuck, Grand Haven (Michigan) ~5.5-6.5hrs
A string of summer beach towns line Lake Michigan, each with its own version of
boardwalk life, marina culture and dunebacked beaches. South Haven is traditional and low-key, Saugatuck is artsy and offbeat and Grand Haven is more resort-like, with a busy waterfront. Together they make up one of the best ‘hidden coastlines’ accessible by car.
New River Gorge
National Park and Preserve
Fayetteville, WV
~6 hours
This national park revolves around rafting, cliff views and the iconic New River Gorge Bridge, a rugged canyon system carved by the New River. It is a place for whitewater sports, ziplining and hiking but also works for scenic overlooks and slower exploration. Summer is the high season for river action and outdoor adventure.
CITIES FOR CULTURE, FOOD, AND WALKABLE EXPLORATION
Cincinnati, Ohio
~1 hr 30 min
Cincinnati is Louisville’s nearest major city getaway with dense neighborhoods, riverfront parks and a revitalized downtown core. Over-the-Rhine – Known for its architecture, breweries, and food scene. Open-air walking space along the riverfront. It’s small enough to do as a one-day trip, but layered enough to support a full weekend.
Columbus, Ohio
~ 3.5 to 4 hours
Columbus is a fast-growing, modern-feeling Midwest city anchored by districts like the Short North for arts and dining, plus major attractions like botanical gardens and science museums. It doesn’t have one defining landmark—it’s a collection of neighborhoods and experiences stitched together by short drives.
Dayton, Ohio
~ 2.5 to 3 hours
Perhaps best known for its aviation history, Dayton is home to the National Museum of the U.S. Air Force, one of the world’s largest aviation museums. The city itself is quieter and easier to navigate than larger metros, which makes it a low-stress option for museum-heavy day trips.
Asheville, North Carolina
~5.5–6 hrs
Asheville is a blend of outdoor access and an arts and food scene nestled in the Blue Ridge Mountains. Hiking trails are minutes from downtown, and the city core is filled with breweries, galleries and music venues. It’s one of the best balanced “nature plus city” spots within driving distance.
ENTERTAINMENT, RESORTS, AND ATTRACTIONS
Holiday World & Splashin’ Safari
Santa Claus, Indiana ~1.5 hours
A combination theme park and water park that always makes the list of best regional summer destinations. Roller coasters, water slides and lazy rivers make it family friendly and budget friendly for a full day out, with perks like free drinks and sunscreen.
French Lick Resort
French Lick, Indiana ~1.75 hours
A historic resort destination with grand hotels, golf courses, casino, spa facilities and
scenic rail excursions. The architecture alone is worth the trip, particularly the atrium of the West Baden Springs Hotel. It’s a full weekend away without the long-distance travel.
Shaker Village of Pleasant Hill
Harrodsburg, KY ~1.5 hours
A historic settlement preserved with thousands of acres of farmland and trails. It’s a combination of walking tours of restored buildings, nature trails and farm-to-table dining. It is one of the most distinctive historical landscapes in the region.
Buffalo Trace Distillery Frankfort, KY ~1 hour
A flagship bourbon destination featuring a walkable campus of historic warehouses, gardens and production facilities. Tours are scheduled but easy to access, making for an easy half-day trip. The grounds themselves, even if you don’t do the bourbon tasting, give you a good sense of place, he noted.
Rough River Dam State Resort Park
Falls of Rough, KY ~1.75 hours
A lake-based retreat that emphasizes boating, fishing and leisurely summer recreation. It has a marina, hiking trails, and cabins, making it a laid-back alternative to busier water destinations. It’s intentionally slow-paced, which is why it’s perfect for unplugged weekends.
Indiana Dunes
Holiday World & Splashin’ Safari French Lick Resort Courtesy photos
BY ABIGAIL FELDKAMP ARTS & CULTURE
TIME SLIP THEATRE CELEBRATES NEW SPACE WITH A NEW SHOW
The beloved Time Slip Theatre: known for their adaptation of Rocky Horror at Play, and much more, found a new home at an Old Louisville church on 100 W. Ormsby St.
To celebrate this new space, they are presenting their unique adaptation of Edgar Allan Poe’s The Masque of the Red Death, which will run from May 29June 7. The church consists of multiple rooms and floors, allowing the team to play around with the space and create a standout experience.
According to Time Slip’s Artistic Director Remy Sisk, the theatre’s adaptation of Poe’s story will be a moving show, meaning the audience will be experiencing different scenes in a variety of places inside the building. Attendees will be assigned “ghost guides” that will spook and scare them as they navigate both the story and the church itself.
Actor Zach Campbell-Hoogdendyk, who plays Prosepero in the adaptation, stated that one of the aspects about the show that he is most looking forward to is being able to scare and shock the audience, stating that he’s “a little bit sadistic.”
Although there will be spooks galore, there will also be music, dancing and a lot of fun. Actor Sara Bell, who plays Lex, says that even people who are not interested in theatre will leave the show saying that they enjoyed themselves.
Join Time Slip Theatre in their brand new space, and enjoy a modern times meets classic adaptation that is different from anything you have ever seen in Louisville. You can purchase tickets on their website at www.timesliptheatre.org.
Courtesy photo
BOB THE DRAG QUEEN: NOW CLAP! TOUR
BY ABIGAIL FELDKAMP
Bob The Drag Queen, known for being the winner of Season 8 of Rupaul’s Drag Race, Season 3 of Traitors US, and the heartfelt show We’re Here, graced Louisville with her presence at the Louisville Comedy Club.
Bob stunned in 5 shows from May 22-24, with 2 new shows added due to high attendance. As a long time fan of both drag and Bob, I knew I had to catch a show while she was in town.
It is one thing to have funny blips on TV shows and another to stand up in front of an audience for an hour and consistently make them laugh, or at the very least, not be awkward about it. As I expected, Bob absolutely did not disappoint!
Personally, I love feeling a queer presence at a comedy show. Traditionally dominated by straight males, it was refreshing to see someone like Bob be up on that stage. She was able to make jokes about the queer experience and her own unique experiences in a way that simultaneously educated individuals and made them feel included and in
on the joke. She called people out in a way that did not feel targeted, but more so in a lighthearted manner that was genuinely funny and made people giggle.
One of my favorite bits Bob did was explain to a “gold star gay” (you can look up what that means if you don’t know) what a C-Section entails. It was beautifully done in a way that provided a learning experience, all while still being enjoyable.
By the end of her time on stage, Bob made you feel like you knew her as well as you know a friend. Her wittiness paired with her personable qualities made for a truly entertaining show that left you wanting more. Bob proved once again that she is a star.
Next time Bob graces us with her presence, I recommend buying tickets to a show. To see all of the fantastic shows the Louisville Comedy Club has to offer, you can check out their calendar and purchase tickets on their website at www.louisvillecomedy.com.
FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
ROB BREZSNY
ARIES (March 21-April 19): You are often the best possible remedy for stale, unoriginal thinking that’s festering in your vicinity. And you are especially so these days. Others might have the gall to disrupt the deadening status quo, but you have the charm to do it without scorching every bridge and laying waste to the land. So I invite you to step into the role of cheerful troublemaker. Unleash your iconoclastic sparks with the intention of making life friskier and more imaginative, not more tangled and irritating.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In many farming cultures, including parts of India, growers speak or sing to their crops as they walk through the fields. It’s a gesture of personal care that mirrors growing scientific interest in how plants respond to sound and vibration. Some studies suggest that plants exposed to sustained speech and song may grow more vigorously. Your assignment in the coming weeks, Taurus, is to speak to the growing things in your life with similar devotion. Talk to your projects. Sing to your relationships. Tell jokes to your dreams. The universe is extra responsive to your sweet voice.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Neurologist Oliver Sacks said, “I am haunted by the density of experience.” He meant that every moment contains far more richness than we can fully register or remember. This observation will be especially relevant for you in the coming weeks. Your mind (and heart!) will be flooded with an abundance of stimuli, ideas, feelings, and impressions. It might initially feel overwhelming, but will ultimately be a boon—especially if you prepare yourself for the intensity and abundance. Imagine yourself standing next to a fountain and feeling cheerful about getting soaked.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): You have superpowers that hardened hearts and tough guys can’t fathom. Receptivity is a key part of your genius, for example. Emotional fluency is at the root of your intelligence. Your ability to feel so much and so deeply makes you dangerous to status quos managed by people who overthink everything. Wait! There’s more. You can nurture without smothering and protect without imprisoning. You wield the powers of memory without being enslaved by nostalgia. You make home a verb, not a noun, as you build shelter for yourself and your tribe. I hope you will express these gorgeous talents to the max in the coming weeks and months.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): An astrologer rooted in older traditions might claim that now is an ideal time to promote your personal agenda through sly, gossipy maneuvering. But since I am devoted to building a new
culture grounded in compassionate values that nourish the soul, my message is different. I’m pleased to tell you that the coming weeks will be a potent phase to engage in elevating gossip that serves the greater good, to celebrate unsung heroes, and to call attention to everything that is thriving. For practical dreamers like you and me, carelessly speaking ill of others undermines our own aspirations. One of the most effective ways to expand our own possibilities is to use the power of language to boost other people’s chances for joy and success.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The ancient Library of Alexandria contained over half a million scrolls. If you devoted eight hours a day to reading, you could finish about 5,000 books over the course of your life. The librarians back then knew they would never read all the texts they managed and protected. Their job wasn’t to consume all knowledge but to be stewards of abundance. They’re good role models for you, Virgo. The wonderful fact is that you don’t have to master every single thing that attracts your attention. Your far more relaxing task is to curate with care and wisdom. Your growing edge is to know what to preserve and what to release. One of your noblest projects is to commune pleasurably with the intriguing mysteries that life brings you, not obsess on them.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Libra psychologist Carol Dweck distinguishes between fixed mindsets (“I’m not smart enough”) and growth mindsets (“I can become smarter”). When you have a fixed mindset, obstacles weigh you down. With a growth mindset, they motivate you to develop. What determines your trajectory isn’t your current skill level but how you relate to your edge. With this in mind, Libra, I invite you to monitor your self-talk as you encounter challenges. Are you prone to thinking that limitations are permanent, or do you see them as temporary states you can use as opportunities? You
now have a good chance to instill the latter as a root habit.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): What’s something you wish you could change about yourself? Is it a trait, pattern, fear, or story about your body? And what exactly tells you that this can never change? Is it loyalty to old expectations or a rotting prophecy someone laid on you? Consider the possibility that maybe the “can’t” is really a “won’t,” or a “don’t know how yet,” or “I’m afraid of who I’d be without this.” Then imagine that you don’t have to transform this thing instantly, but, for starters, need only shift it by 10 percent in the direction of mercy and freedom. What small, specific action would generate that 10 percent?
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): What’s your most vital relationship? I dare you to surprise each other in the coming weeks. Refresh your bond with playful experimentation. Here are adventures you two could explore: 1. Take a walk together with no destination in mind, letting curiosity guide you. Talk about the paths you have not yet taken in life but might like to. 2. Describe the most beautiful future you can imagine for each other. Share practical steps you could take to make these scenarios happen. 3. Choose a food treat you both love, speak a blessing over it, then eat it slowly together as you name what you are most grateful for in your connection.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In Chess masters and accomplished musicians practice differently from amateurs. They focus most intensely on their weak points, less so on rehearsing what they already do well. It’s uncomfortable to confront inadequacy, but they’re better for it. In my astrological opinion, Capricorn, you should specialize in a similar courage during the coming weeks. I invite you to direct your generous attention toward your shakiest skills and most
uncertain territories. Glorious growth will happen at the edge of your competence.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Be more like a lightning storm over a green meadow and less like a porch light attracting moths. Be more like a spiritual riddle in an ecstatic poem and less like a slogan printed on a T-shirt. Be more like a Miles Davis improvisation and less like a tune played note-for-note from the sheet music for a formulaic pop song. Can you stretch yourself into more fertile wildness, Aquarius? Will you expand your future with adventures that thrill your imagination? I believe you can and should. For bonus magic, be more like a dream of wandering in a rowdy paradise and less like the old version of yourself. Trust the frontier signals that make your pulse quicken, and speak less about the obvious truths that make everyone nod in agreement.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Are you ready to assess the state of your emotional pain? Every few years, I invite you to take stock. I ask you to reflect on how well you’ve been cultivating meaningful stress while avoiding useless pain and misery. So, how’s your progress since our last check-in? Have you improved at sidestepping dull torments you’ve relived a thousand times? Are you less vulnerable to being wounded by ignorant or thoughtless people? Can you more swiftly shake off the sting of minor troubles? Most importantly, are you increasingly magnetized to the intriguing dilemmas that challenge you to grow wiser and more resourceful?
Homework: Identify 10 of your best blessings.
Newsletter.FreeWillAstrology.com
freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com
BrezsnyAstrology@gmail.com
DOOM AND GROOM
BY DAN SAVAGE
Hey Dan: Should I feel weird about my husband’s grooming situation when he was young with a family friend if he doesn’t feel weird about it? He’s mid-thirties. He’s known this woman since he was seven and she used to babysit for him. She was a family friend. Once she returned to England, my husband went to visit her when he turned eighteen. They wound up having a lot of crazy sex. It squicks me out because she is one of his mom’s best friends and his mom is constantly bringing this woman up in conversation (she doesn’t know) and because I’ve had similar experiences where people who were friends of my parents (people I looked up to) made passes at me later, which shattered my feelings towards them. I met this woman once when she stayed with us a couple days. She was cold towards me, despite me trying hard to make her feel welcome. (I think she was trying to get a read on whether I knew or not, hence her cold behavior.) I have held my tongue the last four years, and I want to continue to hold my tongue, but I feel like she had to have been grooming my husband when he was a child for this to have happened. I am not a jealous person. (My husband had an ex in our wedding party!) and I suppose it’s possible my strong reaction is based on my own feelings about my own experiences. But this whole thing is weird, right?
—Think Of England
I don’t think “grooming” is the right word to describe your husband’s situation. Now, I realize words don’t have fixed meanings anymore, TOE, but I feel like this particular word — when used to refer to the actions of adults who sexually violate children and not townies smoothing out ski slopes — still means something very specific. When a pedophile insinuates himself into a family’s life, earning the trust of the parent or parents and the affections of the child, that is a grooming situation. To be sexually abused by someone you thought you could trust adds another layer of trauma for the victim. Worse yet, children being sexually abused by skilled groomers often felt so conflicted about the abuse (or even complicit in it, as was the case with all those pre-gay boys molested by Catholic priests) that they can’t bring themselves to tell their parents what is going on. In some truly horrifying cases, children who did go to their parents weren’t believed. Your husband was not a child when he had a bunch of crazy sex with this woman. You don’t mention how much time passed between this woman returning to England and your husband going to see her when he was eighteen, a detail that, while not exculpatory, does seem relevant. Because if they knew each other when your husband was a small child and then reunited a decade later when your husband was legally an adult… yeah… that doesn’t make all that crazy sex
any less (pick your word) squicky, icky, gross, weird, etc. But it does nothing like grooming and more like two adults doing something that would make all the other adults in their lives feel uncomfortable… if all those other adults knew about it… which, ideally, none of those other adults ever would.
As to why your husband feels differently about this one experience than you do about your experiences with more than one friend of your parents who made passes at you, TOE, that’s probably because his frame of reference is radically different. As a young woman you most likely endured a lot of unwanted sexual attention from men and then, adding insult to injury, you were subjected to the unwanted sexual attentions of adult men who’d known you since you were a child. As a young man, your husband probably didn’t have to fend off a lot of unwanted sexual attention from older women, which may be why he experienced the pass that was made at him by an adult who’d known him as a child — assuming she was the one who made the first move — so differently. None of which makes this okay. In an ideal world, our first sexual partners — all of our early and formative sexual experiences — aren’t people who used to be our babysitters. You would be more comfortable if your husband had lost his virginity to an eighteen-year-old girl he met at a club when he was on that trip to England, TOE, and quite frankly so would I. But your husband not having a problem with what happened isn’t evidence that he was victimized by an expert groomer playing a very long game. It’s most likely evidence that, despite the legitimately icky/squicky/weird details, this was a positive experience for your husband.
It could just have easily gone the other way, i.e. all that crazy sex with his former babysitter could’ve left him traumatized, and there was no way for her to know how it might turn/play out. So she shouldn’t have done it/him. But she did and there’s no undoing it and rather than faulting your husband for not being traumatized by the experience, you should be grateful (to fate, not her) that he wasn’t, and then stuff it down the memory hole.
P.S. If you think the only reason an eighteen-year-old boy might wanna fuck a friend of his mom’s is that he’d been groomed by that person when he was a child, TOE, you haven’t met many 18-year-old boys.
P.P.S. You have every right to tell your husband that you don’t want to lay eyes on this woman ever again.
P.P.P.S. I shared your letter with Jamie Zane Brazell, a psychotherapist and AASECT certified sex therapist.
“TOE says she’s held her tongue for four years and she might need some
assistance on how to approach her husband with her own feelings,” said Brazell in an email. “She’s holding a lot of these feelings in and I’d hate it for her if they ended up coming out sideways when she just can’t hold it in anymore. I also think it’s unfair to him if she projects her own feelings onto his experience and assumes he SHOULD be traumatized when he was not. Lots of people make it into adulthood and look back with regret on experiences they had with someone who woke them up sexually and who would not be considered an age-appropriate partner. And then there are lots of other people who have had a sexual awakening occur from a much older person and then later feel a bit conflicted about it because they don’t personally feel weird about it until they find out that maybe they should. But should they really?”
To learn more about Jamie Zane Brazell’s work and her practice, visit her website www.outofthewoodstherapy. com.
Hey Dan: I’m a 31-year-old cis straight woman. I lost my virginity at age 29 to my boyfriend, a 32-year-old heteroflexible cis man. Growing up, my family was very critical of my appearance, and I internalized this and took it for granted that I was ineligible for sex and romance. I forced myself to try dating apps a few years ago which is how I met and fell in love with my boyfriend. Our relationship of two years is romantic, affectionate, fun, and fulfilling. However, despite our strong mutual attraction (he is crazily handsome!), our sex life is just okay. While talking about new things that might make sex more exciting for both of us, my boyfriend said he wouldn’t mind if I slept with another man. He says it’s not a turn-on for him, he just feels like it wouldn’t be fair to me if he was the only man I ever slept with. The idea of opening the relationship was interesting to me, as I think having sex with other people might improve my sexual confidence, and that sex with my boyfriend might improve as a result. Unfortunately, I’m not as secure as my boyfriend is, and I don’t think I could handle him sleeping with other women. Just the idea hurts me. I told him this, assuming he would then accept that opening our relationship was not viable. But he said that that wasn’t a problem. He had many partners before we met and says he doesn’t feel a need to be with other people. The idea of our relationship being open on my side only feels unfair to me. On the other hand, there’s an imbalance between our levels of sexual experience that opening things on my side would help correct.
Would it be ethical to open the relationship only on my side? Or would it be a recipe for disaster?
—Sexual Erotic Experiences Knowingly
If it’s recipes for disaster you seek, SEEK, then you came to the right place: I can write cookbooks full of them in my sleep. If you don’t take your boyfriend up on his offer — so you can experience other men and perhaps get the confidence boost that improves your sexual relationship with him — your shared dissatisfaction with sex could grow until one of you ends the relationship. If you do take him up on his offer, you could meet someone who blows your mind — you could wind up having amazing sex with someone who wants to be your boyfriend — and wind up dumping the boyfriend you’re with for some boy you just met. Or after a year of living with a one-sided open relationship, your boyfriend could rationalize fucking someone else on the side himself, since you’ve been out there fucking other guys, which could result in a messy breakup that saddles you with trust issues that make it harder for you to bond with your next boyfriend. Basically, SEEK, there are lots of ways this could go wrong. So, instead of opening the relationship on your side, you might wanna work on the sex first. There are lots of sex therapists out there who work with couples on improving their sex lives and very few recommend fucking other people as a first move — not even in cases where fucking other people is the obvious solution, e.g. in cases where the sex is never going to work and transitioning to a companionate relationship that’s sexually open on both sides is a couple’s only hope of staying together.
I’m not saying a one-sided open relationship isn’t right for you, SEEK, what I’m saying is that — given the stakes — you might want to examine, with the help of a professional, your other options first.
P.S. I know your boyfriend denied having cuck fantasies but that could’ve been kink shame talking. You might feel better about taking him up on this offer if the idea of being with other men gives him as much pleasure as it gives you. So, you might wanna ask him that question again.
P.P.S. He thinks he would be fine with you sleeping with other men… but he can’t know that for sure since he’s never been in an open relationship. You think you couldn’t handle your boyfriend sleeping with other women… but you can’t know that for sure since you’ve never been in an open relationship before either. His reaction to you sleeping with other men may surprise him, SEEK, and your reaction to him being with other women — if you should wind up evolving in the direction of a fully open relationship — might surprise you. Life is long.
Hey Dan: I am a 33-year-old she/they from the PNW and I need some breakup advice. Last August I broke up with my partner of
assistance on how to approach her husband with her own feelings,” said Brazell in an email. “She’s holding a lot these feelings in and I’d hate it for her they ended up coming out sideways when she just can’t hold it in anymore. also think it’s unfair to him if she proj her own feelings onto his experience assumes he SHOULD be trauma tized when he was not. Lots of people make it into adulthood and look back with regret on experiences they had with someone who woke them up sexually and who would not be considered an age-ap propriate partner. And then there are lots other people who have had a sexual awakening occur from a much older person and then later feel a bit conflicted about it because they don’t personally weird about it until they find out that maybe they really?”
To learn more about Jamie Zane Brazell’s work and her practice, visit her website www.outofthewoodstherapy. com.
Hey Dan:
woman. I lost my virginity at age 29 to my boyfriend, a 32-year-old heteroflexible cis man. Growing up, my family was very critof my appearance, and I internalized and took it for granted that I was inel igible for sex and romance. I forced myself try dating apps a few years ago which is how I met and fell in love with my boyfriend. relationship of two years is romantic, affectionate, fun, and fulfilling. However, despite our strong mutual attraction (he is crazily handsome!), our sex life is just okay. While talking about new things that might make sex more exciting for both of us, my boyfriend said he wouldn’t mind if I slept with another man. He says it’s not a turn-on him, he just feels like it wouldn’t be fair to if he was the only man I ever slept with. The idea of opening the relationship was interesting to me, as I think having sex with other people might improve my sexual confidence, and that sex with my boyfriend might improve as a result. Unfortunately, not as secure as my boyfriend is, and don’t think I could handle him sleeping with other women. Just the idea hurts me. told him this, assuming he would then accept that opening our relationship was viable. But he said that that wasn’t a problem. He had many partners before we and says he doesn’t feel a need to be with other people. The idea of our relationship being open on my side only feels unfair to On the other hand, there’s an imbal ance between our levels of sexual experience that opening things on my side would help correct.
lives and very few recommend fucking other people as a first move — not even in cases where fucking other people is the obvious solution, e.g. in cases where the sex is never going to work and transition ing to a companionate relationship that’s sexually open on both sides is a couple’s only hope of staying together.
eight years — or rather they broke up with me. He was my first love and first long-term relationship. We lived together for years, we adopted a dog together, and our lives were completely intertwined. While there were multiple things that led to the breakup, my partner falling in love with another person was a big catalyst. We were poly, and this new relationship rocked our partnership in a lot of normal poly ways — but also in some confusing and hurtful ways. My own behavior definitely played a part in our breakup. During our breakup, my ex moved in with his new partner while I prepared to move out. Within about a month of the breakup, my ex had collared his new partner, a clearly symbolic statement about their commitment to each other. Then less than two months after I moved out of the home we shared, my ex moved his new partner in. When I found out, he acted like it was no big deal.
possibly fill the dog-shaped hole in your heart, SHARE, then at the very least you should ask a trusted mutual friend to pick your dog up and drop the dog off for the next six months.
P.P.S. If fights with your ex have been on a “steady loop” since your breakup, you’re spending way too much time talking to your ex.
Would it be ethical to open the relation only on my side? Or would it be a recipe disaster?
I’m not saying a one-sided open rela tionship isn’t right for you, SEEK, what I’m saying is that — given the stakes — you might want to examine, with the help of a professional, your other options
P.S. I know your boyfriend denied having cuck fantasies but that could’ve been kink shame talking. You might feel better about taking him up on this offer if the idea of being with other men gives him as much pleasure as it gives you. So, you might wanna ask him that question
P.P.S. He thinks he would be fine with you sleeping with other men… but he can’t know that for sure since he’s never been in an open relationship. You think you couldn’t handle your boyfriend sleeping with other women… but you can’t know that for sure since you’ve never been in an open relationship before either. His reaction to you sleeping with other men may surprise him, SEEK, and your reaction to him being with other women — if you should wind up evolving in the direction of a fully open relation ship — might surprise you. Life is long.
Hey Dan: the PNW and I need some breakup advice. Last August I broke up with my partner of
I had moved away from friends and family to build a life with my ex. That home meant a lot to me, as did our partnership. That’s all to say, moving out was really sad and hard. Any attempt to acknowledge the massive change to both our lives, the change in our relationship, and the impact of his choices has often led to conflict. I know my ex has his own side of the story and things that feel hard and hurtful, including how I’ve behaved. I take accountability for my shitty actions. But at the same time, I only ever hear about his experience during our fights or in reaction to my attempts to share my own feelings. It’s been a steady loop for us since the breakup. At the moment we see each other once a week when I pick up our dog for the day. Those interactions are generally brief and mostly friendly, but I feel that things are just getting swept under the rug. In the initial stages of the breakup, we discussed the possibility of friendship. Part of me feels that it doesn’t make sense to scrap a relationship after almost a decade spent together, even if the sexual and romantic part has ended. The other part of me feels deeply hurt by all the humiliating and painful parts of our breakup, but expressing my feelings about this to him only leads to conflict.
Do you have advice for navigating any of this?
—Still Hurting About Rough End
Get your own dog.
P.S. That was a heartless thing for me to say, I realize, as you are no doubt emotionally attached to the dog you adopted with your ex. But it sounds like these weekly dog handoffs are reopening wounds that have barely had a chance to close. So, while telling you to get your own dog may be heartless (and full disclosure: I’m not a dog person), if sharing custody of this dog is making you miserable (due, in no small part, to your unrealistic expectations about these meetings should entail) and if a new dog couldn’t
P.P.P.S. It’s always painful to watch an ex move on quickly — it’s a sign that you were the last to know the relationship was over — which brings us to another not to see your ex: then you don’t have to watch . And if processing your feelings about your breakup with your ex isn’t getting you anywhere, SHAME, it’s because you’re processing your feelings with the wrong person. If you need to pour your heart out to someone who’ll tell you what you want to hear, e.g. your sins (the blowups you hint at) pale in comparison to his sins (collaring the new GF, moving her in so soon after you moved out), SHAME, pour your heart out to a therapist or a best friend a brand new dog.
Got problems? Yes, you do! Email your question for the column to mailbox@savage.love!
Or record your question for the Savage Lovecast at savage.love/askdan! Podcasts, columns and more at Savage.Love
DOUBLE DUTY
BY TRACY GRAY
Puzzles Edited by Joel Fagliano
Tracy Gray lives in Hunt Valley, Md. She and her husband recently retired after 35 years of owning and operating a lawn-and-landscaping business outside Baltimore. This puzzle started with its title, which Tracy then brainstormed themes to fit — the crossword equivalent of putting the cart before the horse.
Across 1 ‘‘We’re doing this!’’
6 Rear ends
14 Mensa prereq
20 Lightweight curtain fabric
21 Folded brunch fare
22 Tito who wrote ‘‘Oye Como Va’’
23 Song performed three times in ‘‘The Wiz’’
25 Give a kick, say
26 What ‘‘American Airlines’’ means in poker lingo
27 Marty Feldman’s role in ‘‘Young Frankenstein’’
28 Cioppino ingredient
30 Crumbly coffeehouse confection
31 Container for movie popcorn
32 ____ Nation (annual music festival)
33 One place to find a pair of parrots
35 Backless stool
37 DFW stat
38 Riddle-me-____
39 Group with the 2009 hit ‘‘I Gotta Feeling’’
41 Boldness
43 Apple variety whose name sounds like part of a flower
45 Steph Curry and LeBron James, e.g.
49 ‘‘Yes, cap’n!’’
51 Move quickly (through)
53 Pinnacle
54 Mérida mister
56 Layering garment
59 Number of Gospels in the New Testament
61 Author Koontz
62 Big ____
63 Fitness enthusiast’s mantra
66 Old Italian currency
67 The one who got away?
69 Japanese vegetable
70 Suffering memory loss
73 Nicholas II was the last one
74 Start of some cautionary advice
79 PreCheck org.
80 POTUS’s military title
81 Bird whose first letter is silent
82 Baby ____
83 Low-lying wetland
85 Real looker
87 List-ending abbr.
89 Mean
91 Rubs the rite way?
93 Surfboard/kayak hybrid
96 Casey of classic radio
100 Take advantage of an opportunity
102 Where the buck might stop?
104 Alex and ____ (jewelry brand)
105 2022 No. 1 hit for Taylor Swift
108 Snoopy, to Charlie Brown
109 Actress Campbell of the ‘‘Scream’’ films
110 N.Y.C. subway inits.
111 Former African country, and its currency
112 Jewish rite for an 8-day-old 114 Weather the storm 115 Sow and hoe for dough, say 116 F-14 fighter jet 118 You love to see it 122 Fashion designer Pucci
Broke a national-park rule
Emoticon’s mouth, for short
Apple-processing plant
Church parts vulnerable to lightning
Hip spot for a drink?
‘‘No food for me, thanks’’
‘‘Adorbs!’’ 3 Angle-measuring instrument
Ransom Eli ____ (pioneering automaker) 5 Opposite of paleo6 What ‘‘the Hill’’ is a metonym for 7 Recess retort 8 Paint brand 9 Fútbol cheer 10 ‘‘Come ____ the Sea’’ (Thomas Moore poem)
Daytona vehicle
List-ending abbr.
Computer addresses, for short
Cheesy appetizer with chips
Variety of tiny dog
Belgian Surrealist painter James
Peach pit
Doctrinal belief
‘‘The Good ____’’ (Emmywinning series)
Bread spread
‘‘Still awake?’’
Olympian Raisman
Zodiac animal
‘‘The View’’ co-host Joy
58 Hot cocktail
60 It owns the trademark for ‘‘The Greatest Snow on Earth’’
62 ‘‘You ____!’’
64 Streak on a cheek
65 ____ speak
68 Where to see the midnight sun
71 Barbenheimer in the summer of 2023, e.g.
72 Aaron Judge, e.g., in brief
75 Teeny-tiny
76 When a football may be snapped
77 Walt Whitman, notably
78 Fail miserably
81 Preamble start
84 Nutritional fig.
86 Like love on Valentine’s Day, it’s said
88 Bad spot to leave food unattended
90 Laundry purchase in an orange container
92 Belgrade resident
94 Service center?
95 Tympanostomy performer, for short
97 Iraqi city on the Tigris
98 ‘‘Mains’’
99 Former TLC reality show set in a Florida tattoo parlor
101 Standards of behavior
103 O.T.C. part
105 Like the emblem on Mexico’s flag
106 Two-time Australian Open winner Osaka
107 Unlikely to make the first move
109 Like some credit cards
113 ‘‘Really, though?’’
114 PC shortcut key
115 A little horse
117 Nursery item
119 It merged with Bell Atlantic to become Verizon
120 With it, in old slang
121 Letters on some skin-care products
name in digital recording
Unlikely donors to the AARP
Kinda close
Largest of New York’s Finger Lakes
Pennsylvania city that’s home to Gannon University
Luau
Answer Key
