Bits & Piece May Edition

Bits & Pieces May 2024

It’s Not All About The Kids By: Daveda Janine

COMMUNICATION Open your mouth!

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Contents

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It’s Not All About The Kids: DAVEDA JANINE

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Communication Communication is an essential part of human and spiritual interaction. It is one of the primary keys needed in life for building, creating, linking, connecting, broadcasting, dispatching, transference, and more.

Communication also helps to maintain something as it were a business, ministry, or relationship.

Communication is defined as a process by which information is exchanged between individuals or a common system of symbols, signs, or behaviors.

The world came to be simply by God saying “Let there be” and it was.

What we need, want, and desire is right on our lips. This exchange builds relationships and environment. What we speak creates our world, we can build it up or tear it down. We can open our mouths and eat or keep a closed mouth and not get fed.

Maintaining and staying connected is an area in which I was underdeveloped. Meeting people was not a problem communicating and staying connected was.

While walking this journey out one of the things God continues to tell me is to open my mouth.

Why was God telling me to open my mouth? It was because the answers I needed were within me. What I needed, wanted, and desired was right at my lip. Speaking and adding to it faith, is an exchange system that God uses and counts.

Communication has been at the top of my mind these past few weeks. I know this is an area of focus because I am seeing the lack of it all around me. I have learned when I began to correct those things within me things began to correct themselves around me.

The exchange in communication keeps us connected to God and others in every type and level of relationship there is. Being a friend, family, marriage, or coworker. Even customers in business like to be up to date with whats going on.

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Communication The Hebrew definition communication gives words that express the meaning and here are a few. Link, connect, transference, broadcast, dispatch and message.

When I read the word link the story of David and Jonathan came to mind in I Samuel 18:1 And it came to pass when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.

With David just speaking, there was a connection made. God wants an even greater connection which is why he is drawing many of us to communicate even more. To recognize the spirit of power that he has given us to use. To speak life and of no corrupt thing. We eat the things we speak when it pertains to our lives and others.

Not only that, we are saved and receive salvation by confessing with our mouth and believing.

. Romans 10:8-9 (NET) But what does it say? “The word is near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart,” that is, the message concerning faith that we proclaim: Because if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

Our mouth by faith enters us into the kingdom connecting us to our heavenly Father through Christ Jesus.

Proverbs 18:21 Life and death are in the power of the tongue and those who love it will eat the fruit of it.

Speaking is a tool used to move mountains, heal, deliver, bind, and loose. So, I encourage us today to open our mouths and worship, pray, and commune with God and everyone and thing around us. Call those things that are not as though there were. Speak life and not death.

Open your mouth! and call heaven to earth. Amen!

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It’s NotAll AboutThe Kids Boys

By Daveda Janine

Daveda Janine is a faith-based published author, speaker, creator, and host of “The Journey Tip” which airs on WABB Spirit Radio, 105.1 FM and 13:90AM at 4:00 pm EST. 7

It’s Not All About The Kids I've said it many times myself, "My boys come first." That's the way it should be - right?

Wrong. As mothers, we want the absolute best for our children. We want them to have better experiences than we had, and to live fulfilling lives, just as our parents wanted for us. But putting them above and before anything else in your life will not produce the results you seek. I speak from experience.

I lost two babies before the birth of my two boys, so when I finally became the mother of two living children, I remember thinking, now that I am a mother, I have purpose as if to say I did not have purpose before them. I didn't realize that my thought process was a setup for a letdown. Countless times I referred to my children as my "purpose”, all the while, my identity was slipping through the cracks. My true identity that is. You do know where you can find your identity right? Our identity and purpose can be found in Christ. Without Christ, our identity is defined by the standards of this world which are corrupt. Ephesians 2:10 tells us that we are God's workmanship. Isaiah 64:8 says that God is the potter, and we are the clay.

Consider that for a moment. When an artist creates an art piece, no one can explain the purpose, or what inspired his creation without talking to him first. Many may develop their own opinions and have different perspectives, but only the creator of that piece can accurately define the purpose for which the piece was created. The same goes for us as God’s creation. How can we find our identity in the world or even our children, when they don't know us like the Creator does? Your identity, your purpose, is found in Christ. A large portion of your purpose involves motherhood, but there is more to you than being a mother. I learned this the hard way. For this reason, I’m willing to be transparent about my journey as a mother, hoping that it can help another mother struggling with prioritizing it all.

If you want an example of unconditional love, you’ll find it in the heart of a mother.

For years after I had my boys, every day I lived for the moment when I walked into the house or went to pick them up from daycare that they came running towards me with extreme excitement yelling out "Mama’s here, Mama’s here!". That never got old. When everything in my life was going wrong, I found strength and motivation to keep going on, through my boys. So, what's so

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bad about that you ask? Some may say it's okay to find your strength from whoever, or wherever you can during the dark times. In return, I’ll ask you this question.

If your primary source of strength was removed to a degree that it no longer encouraged you as it once did, what would be the outcome?

What I'm about to share, is not easy to admit; but it’s the truth. As the saying goes, the truth sets you free. I’m sharing this for the mother who once thought she had motherhood in the bag just to find out that everything, she thought she knew, she didn't. This is for the mother who realized her strategy for raising her children had utterly blown up in her face. This is for the mother that for a moment, felt unqualified as a mother. If that's not you, that’s awesome!

However, I encourage you to keep reading anyway, you may still find what I share helpful.

As my boys grew older and transitioned out of the toddler stage, to grade school age, up to the teen years, there was a shift in our relationship. And maybe the shift began before I realized it, so when I did, I was caught off guard with the new behaviors my boys were showing. I understand now that it was just the usual growing pains brought on by the boys exploring the world beyond our home. I first noticed it by the way they greeted me.

They did not show the excitement I was used to when I got home or picked them up after school. Yet they were always asking me to buy them something or take them somewhere.

When we were home, they would disperse to their room, and stay all day if I let them. They didn't need me as much anymore and the purpose I once felt, was gone. Suddenly, two of the few people that I felt loved me were now treating me like a vending machine, a bank, a chauffeur, and dare I say - a robot. I felt lost and invisible. It wasn’t until later that I realized that I had been enabling that behavior all along by going out of my way to appease them. The enemy used this opportunity to start whispering lies in my ear, telling me I no longer had a purpose, and I wasn’t a good mother. He almost convinced me to believe that my kids no longer loved me. For so long, I considered my boys my sole purpose in this world. I fed off their need and attention for, and towards me, and now that had changed. So, I started to believe the lies - but only for a little while. I recognized the direction I was heading, got into the Word, and received a new revelation. But not before many disappointing and chaotic moments, might I add.

I learned as mothers, we wear many "hats". However, to be the best version of ourselves in all our roles, it is imperative that we know who we are as an individual; who we are in Christ.

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As mothers, we have an innate desire to protect and provide for our children, even into adulthood. However, in the process, we must learn to fall back some, or else we will find ourselves exhaustingly dedicating our entire lives to fulfill their lives - as ours slip by. I'm not saying sacrifices don't have to be made as mothers. Sacrifices are inevitable! We just want to be careful that we allow our children the opportunity to navigate through some of the challenges of this world on their own. Or else, we risk driving them towards the very things and people we are trying to protect them from.

Also, don’t be afraid to consider the “the village” approach. Single mothers, allow men of integrity and faith to step in and help teach your boys what you can't. Don't keep a good father from seeing his children as a tactic to punish him. because you're punishing your child as well. Your child has nothing to do with what happened between you and him. Besides, it is not all about you; I say that with love. Wives don't overstep or disregard your husband in front of your children. If you don't agree with a decision he's made about the kids, talk to him in private, come to an agreement, and present it to your children together.

It is crucial to strike a balance between motherhood and individuality. Choose your battles wisely to avoid exhaustion and unnecessary stress.

God created you with purpose. You can fulfill your other roles of purpose and be a wonderful mother at the same time. You do not have to sacrifice your hobbies, goals, or friendships to be at your child’s every beckoning call. Enabling and spoiling children to become overly dependent can hinder their ability to become independent. In the end, it can also strip you of your independence. To develop independent and responsible children, we must show them what it looks like to make wise decisions by how we live our lives daily.

Conversations alone are not enough. Conversations help, but experiences teach. We cannot be everywhere and know everything about our children, but we can trust that God knows it all.

Through prayer and supplication, we can trust God to look out for them in our absence.

God told parents in Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” So, mothers, it is our responsibility, to teach your children the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Teach and show them Matthew 6:33, "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all His righteousness; and all these things shall be added into you." Even when it seems your child has departed from the values you instilled in them, remember, things are not always as they appear. Know that what you have taught them has never left them. Pray, and allow God to handle the rest. As we know, the older they get, the less control we have, so it’s best to do your due diligence now while they’re still in the home; they'll thank you later. I did.

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Finally, woman to woman, mother to mother, take care of yourself.

Knowing who you are in Christ is one of the best steps to be the mother you want to be. You will never be perfect. You will drop the ball sometimes, lose your cool, and do or say something you shouldn't, but that's okay. Your child needs to see how you allow God to help and guide you through those times. Pretending to always be strong as if you don’t have weak moments doesn't help because it's not realistic.

Most importantly, honor the Lord above anything and everybody; this includes your children. Everything else will fall into place – according to the will of God. Read about what happened to Eli and his sons in 1st Samuel 2:12-36. He is an example of what happens when a parent honors their children over God. God even asked him at one point, "Why do you honor your sons over me?" Chapters 1 and 2 also tells a story about how a woman named Hannah honored God over her child. Hannah started off as a barren woman. She promised God that if He gave her a son, she would dedicate him to God for his entire life. God gave her a son, she named him Samuel, and the rest is history.

Motherhood is a challenging beautiful journey full of sacrifices, but don’t sacrifice your individuality.

One day our children will leave the nest. If we are not secure in who we are outside of our children, we are not going to know what to do with ourselves and life will continue to pass us by. On the other hand, if we put God first, He will promote us in motherhood and womanhood. Just like the virtuous woman talked about in Proverbs 31, your children will indeed call you blessed.

So, in the name of Jesus, I pray that you continue to be blessed, and allow God's Word to be a light to your path.

Scripture references: Luke 1:30 -God believes in you so you should also believe in yourself.

Proverbs 31:25 -strength and dignity is your dress code

1 Samuel 1:26 - your prayers go a long way Proverbs 139:14 - you are a beautiful creation 2 Timothy 1:5 - self-control and a sound mind is yours for the taking.

Philippians 1:6 - God's begun a good work in you.

Article written by Daveda Janine.

Daveda Janine is a faith-based published author, speaker, creator, and host of “The Journey Tip” which airs on WABB Spirit Radio, 105.1 FM and 13:90AM at 4:00 pm EST. 11

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Give your life to Jesus Get eternal life with God. Confess your sins and invite the Lord in to be your savior. ● Romans 10:9,10,13 that if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved 10 For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth, confession is made unto salvation. Romans 10:13 For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved ● Sinners Prayer – Lord Jesus, I know I am a sinner. I believe You died for my sins. Right now, I turn from my sins and open the door of my heart and life. I repent of each and every one of my sins. Have mercy on me, oh Lord, and save me. I confess You as my personal Lord and Savior. Wash and cleanse me with your blood. And fill me with your Holy Spirit in the name of Jesus I pray Amen.

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