Issue 1 - CAREGIVER Magazine - Providing Options and Support

CAREGIVER Issue 1

May 2019

PROVIDING OPTIONS AND SUPPORT

OUR NEW NORMAL P. 7

BEING A SURVIVORTHE POWER OF A HUG P. 6

May 2019

P. 10

MEDICINE EVERYWHERE, HELP! P. 38

TABLE OF CONTENTS

CAREGIVER CAREGIVER Welcome Being a Survivor by: Robbie Lamberson Searching For Answers with Eunice Khoury

04 06, 07, 36 & 37

10 & 11

OKC Fire Dept. Safety Tips

27

SunBeam Family 28, 29, 44, 46 & 47 Services Shinning Bright for Oklahoma

Staying Involved in a Busy World

16 & 17

Caregiver Stress

22 & 23

Maintaining His Position

32 & 33

Full Circle Grand Opening

34 & 35

The Common Bond of Caregivers

38 & 39

VFW Provides Clear Focus

40 & 42

Independent Living

Assisted Living

Memory Care

CONTACT US CAREGIVER P.O. Box 721673 Oklahoma City,OK 73172 1-405-532-6057 l.nash@betterwithageok.com www.betterwithageok.com

EDITORIAL LASHANYA NASH

Publisher and Editor

COLUMNISTS

WELCOME I’d like to welcome you all to the CAREGiVER News Magazine Family. May this publication be a resource as you journey through caring for your loved one.

My siblings and our families have experienced those tender moments of caregiving as well as the laughter through tears, exhaustion, frustration and ultimately heart wrenching loss. The loss of both of our Parents and our last grandparent between 2015-2017, profoundly changed our family forever.

The entire staffs mission is to help you on your care giving journey; provide encouragement, support, education and enrichment opportunities. What you are going through can be hard to process and manage.

My primary focus is on helping your family navigate care giving. Show kindness not only to the person you are caring for but each other.

Sincerely,

LaShanya L. Nash Publisher

LISA SYDNOR ROBBIE LAMBERSON

ADVERTISING Advertising Director

LASHANYA NASH

Advertising Acct. Mgr. DOT LILIES

ACCOUNTING Andrea O'Hair

DIRECTORS OF OUTREACH LISA SYDNOR Dir. of Community Outreach WYNELLE RECORD Social Media Coordinator

Graphics by: WISE Marketing

STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER HILLARY HENLEY

NOW Hiring Advertising Sales Writers

A JOURNEY OF HOPE

BEING A SURVIVOR

By Robbie Lamberson Cover Photograph

By Hillary Henley

Surviving being a caregiver to a spouse, child, or parent is an amazing accomplishment. It may also leave you exhausted and beaten.

As you may have already surmised, I am the product of years of caregiving. Those years shaped me into the woman I have become.

Different than what I expected, stronger than I could have imagined, and with the ability to empathize as never before.

Unfortunately all the survivor stories will not relieve your stress but possibly they can give you hope, hope that eventually there will be a light at the end of your very dark tunnel. The problem with thinking of the end of our tunnels means the loss of someone we obviously care deeply for, love with every fiber of our being, and are trying desperately to make their lives bearable. And if we, at times, let ourselves dwell on the thoughts of what it would be like to have the freedom of a normal life, then we are flooded with guilt and shame, thus bringing more pressure on an already over heated engine. It’s a vicious cycle.

Sound familiar?

Well, here is my story and I hope that at least one of you will gain some solace, insight, or recognize that you walk a path that many have traveled and not feel so alone.

My husband, Frank, was diagnosed with Parkinson’s at the young age of fifty. Upon hearing the term, “Parkinson’s” neither of us were aware of what it meant, only that it was a dire diagnosis because of the solemn expression on the doctors face and the sympathy in his eyes. Neither of us were aware of what we would face over time…we didn’t want to know. Deciding on a plan of taking one day at a time we began the arduous journey that would last over twenty one years.

As with most diseases the beginning is traumatic mainly because you are trying to adjust to hearing you will not have that rosy future you assumed would be yours and trying to learn to live with the stomach rolling fear that was not there before. And, all you can do is take one day at a time.

A little about myself may be helpful to you, I met my husband when I was fourteen and we married three months after my fifteenth birthday. (You don’t have to tell me that my life was never “normal”) We raised two exceptional children, traveled for over thirty years, and survived the ups and downs of most marriages. He was ambitious, hardworking, and used to being in charge and giving orders. Perfect in the business world but somewhat difficult in the role he was destined to experience. The last five years of his journey with Parkinson’s saw the disease conquering this strong man determined to outwit his enemy within.

A Journey of Hope

It became a losing battle.

For the sake of time let’s deal only with the last two years, that’s when I became his twenty four hour a day, seven days, a week caregiver. I joined the immense group of my peers who, like them, felt utterly alone.

That’s one of the most insidious feelings for caregivers. When you are in the midst of the battle of your life it’s hard to imagine that scores of others are walking in or have walked in your shoes, or if even if you can, it doesn’t relieve the ordeal you are dealing with. The rest of the world moves on, activities that brought so much pleasure, are no longer possible. At first, family and friends graciously provide support but as the days turn into months, and as in our situation, years, they drift away to tend to their own lives as they should. cont. on p.36

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Written by: Lisa Sydnor

Searching For Answers

Eunice Khoury’s heart, work efforts and focuses are all about the senior community.

When there is an issue effecting seniors, Eunice is there to be that “voice” of the senior community. As that voice, Eunice speaks to groups large or small, meets with the decision/policy makers, and every Saturday morning at 9 a.m., she hosts “Well Preserved” radio show on KTOK. The hour is focused on issues, solutions, and options for seniors.

Her guests on the show reflect the concerns and needs of everyone involved with senior services in Oklahoma City and beyond Seeing the need to bring options and solutions to Seniors and their caregivers was the catalyst for the first SENIOR DAY at Crossings Community Church sponsored by Eunice Khoury and Well Preserved.

Senior Day at Crossings Friday, May 10th

Keynote speaker: Berry Trammell, Sports Editor for The Oklahoman.

Other speakers include: Elaine Dodd, Oklahoma Bankers Association, an authority on fraud Corporal Kim Lopez, Oklahoma County Sheriff's Office; TRIAD Nikki Higgins of Lifestyle Realty Blair Schoeb, Director of Areawide, Aging Agency

Keri Dennis, Stone Creek Memory Care

Vendors will be available to answer questions. SENIOR DAY, Crossings Community Church, 14600 N Portland, OKC May 10th 8:00 am-4:45 pm.

Please register online or Call 848-5790.

The fee is $12 and includes lunch.

Kathy Logsdon of Epworth Villa

https://Crossings.Church/Event/Senior-Day

Jill Huff, Spanish Cove Brian Rush, Adult Daycare

Staying Involved In A Busy

World

WRITTEN BY: POLLY MILLIGAN

By living in a fast-paced world our life is taken up with obligations that can cloud our view of what we feel is most important.

As working adults, we are frequently pulled between career commitments, children or spouse needs, and trying to fit ourselves in the mix occasionally.

This juggling act can feel as though it is tumbling when you add a parent or loved

Polly Milligan, Executive Director, Emerald Square Assisted and Independent Living For more information contact 405-787-4466

Heart Living Centers

one into the mix. At some point most, working adult children will be faced with finding appropriate, safe, and comfortable placement for their parent in a senior living community.

The key to making this transition successful is your involvement in the community. Communities and their staff take note of the ‘involved’ families, and the community you select will want to shine in your presence for many reasons.

Set aside a small time frame every week at different times. You should never visit your loved one “every Friday at 2 o’clock”. Although this consistency

Request a ‘Care Conference’.

Keep in mind that ‘the community works for you and your loved one’ and you have a right to answers and

may seem to work for ‘mom’ it causes

understanding of your family’s well

complacency in community staff. If you

being and care. Ask your Director and

knew every Friday, you were to answer

Nurse to set aside a time that works

the same question on a quiz then you are

for you so that you can keep up on

sure to pass to the test. Leave a little

what is happening in the daily life of

early for work and drop by your mom’s

the person you love. Many times, a

favorite donut or coffee, or on your

community can involve the activities

lunch break if time allows. Make a

director or other individuals that will

weekend visit and see what happens

know their daily routine.

when there are fewer managers in a community.

Create a volunteer group. This can

We live in a technology filled world, so use it to your advantage.

Facetime, Skype, or Google Hangout can be used to not only let you talk to your loved one face to face but see how they are doing for yourself. You can look around their apartment, see what they are having for lunch, and chat with staff from the comfort of your home or office. These can easily be ‘surprise’ visits that can change the mood your loved one is in.

Visit Call

Stay Involved

consist of your adult children, your spouse, your parents’ friends that are still independent, or even your friends that have a few extra minutes. Take turns making visits and collaborating with one another so that you each know what to look for on your visit.

The extra visitors are sure to make for some happy days for your loved one.

Staying involved in your loved one’s community life and care can add value, wellness and collaboration for everyone involved. Using the resources available to you can help you manage your time. Talk with your loved one’s community leaders, they are there to help you by offering insight into adjusting to and enjoying community life.

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Friday, May 10th 8:00 am-4:45 pm

Please register online or Call 848-5790. https://CROSSINGS.CHURCH/EVENT/SENIOR-DAY

Vendors will be available to answers questions

The fee is $12 and includes lunch.

Longterm Care Options in Oklahoma Brought to you by the

Assisted Living

Adult Day Care

Continuum of Care

A home or establishment that may provide assistance with personal care, medications, ambulation, nursing supervision and intermittent or unscheduled nursing care. They cannot provide 24-hour skilled nursing care.

Licensed by Oklahoma State Department of Health Mainly Private Pay, LTC Insurance may cover , VA Aid & Attendance, & Tribal Benefits Medicaid Option through DHS (Advantage Waiver)

Provides health, recreational, social and supportive services to impaired adults for more than four hours per day. Participants do not stay in the center overnight.

Adult Day Care Act - November 1, 1989 Licensed by Oklahoma State Department of Health VA allows respite benefits Medicaid Option through DHS (Advantage Waiver) Combines the services of a nursing facility with an assisted living center or an adult day care center. It is licensed under the Continuum of Care and Assisted Living Act and must also meet requirements applicable to nursing facilities, assisted living centers and adult day care centers, as applicable.

Continuum of Care & Assisted Living Act—May 20, 1997 Licensed by Oklahoma State Department of Health Currently in Oklahoma, all Continuum of Care’s only have assisted livings.

Medicaid Option through DHS (Advantage Waiver) for Assisted Living and Adult Day Car

For a list of OKALA Members Visit www.OKALA.org

A nursing facility that provides 24-hour skilled nursing care and related services for residents who require medical or nursing care.Nursing Home Care Act - October 1, 1980 Licensed by Oklahoma State Department of Health Nursing homes provide the highest level of care Options for Medicare/Medicaid

Provide residential accommodations, food service, and supportive assistance. May also provide assistance with meals, dressing, bathing, other personal needs, and medication administration. Cannot provide medical care such as skilled nursing.

Residential Care Act - November 1, 1984 Licensed by Oklahoma State Department of Health A typical residential care resident is younger than other long term care options and only requires assistant with medication administration NO Options for Medicare/Medicaid Created in 2013, this program is for residents who are veterans living in the state veteran’s centers. They are licensed as a nursing facility and can provide 24-hour skilled nursing care and related services for resi-dents who require medical or nursing care .

Falls under Nursing Home Care Act - May 29, 2013 Licensed by Oklahoma State Department of Health Apartments, cottages, and single-family homes for seniors 55 & over who do not require assistance with daily activities or 24/7 skilled nursing but may benefit from convenient services, senior-friendly surround-ings, and increased social opportunities.

NOT Licensed by Oklahoma State Department of Health No oversight since they are not licensed May have “High Acuity� that is receiving Home Health and or Hospice services

For a list of OKALA Members Visit www.OKALA.org

Nursing Home

Residential Care Homes

Veteran's Center

Independent Senior Living/Care Home

CAREGIVER STRESS Written by: Vickie Muir

Vickie Muir, Licensed Clinical Social Worker

For info. contact: 405-308-6433

Every day in America there are at least 34.2 million caregivers providing unpaid care to meet the health and safety needs of a loved one. Sixty percent of these are women and 40% men.

Of these individuals 40 to 70 percent report experiencing depression, anxiety or anger related to their situation. This is only the tip of the iceberg. Let’s look at what’s happening.

Wikipedia defines caregiver as a paid or unpaid member of a person’s social network who helps them with activities of daily living. For many this definition is what they think of in terms of what a caregiver is.

Unfortunately, there still exists a limited understanding in our society of what being a caregiver entails and the risks and sacrifice that one faces providing care for another. So, let’s look at the definition. It definitely falls short of the full magnitude of caregiving.

Even at the least assistance with tasks of daily living can be challenging. In truth caregiving is multifaceted including physical, social, emotional, financial and spiritual challenges for both the loved one and the caregiver. Many caregivers report that they believe they are in good health. Although we know there are identified risk factors associated with caregiving.

Caregivers may be at risk for developing high blood pressure, weakened immune system, obesity, as well as greater risk for developing chronic illness and not surprisingly even a shorter life span. There is also a risk of developing alcohol and substance abuse problems. These are just some of the physical problems that may develop especially with long term caregiving.

Feelings of depression, anxiety and anger are common among caregivers. It’s not uncommon to experience feelings of grief as well. It’s important to note the indicators of depression and anxiety especially if you are experiencing any of these problems.

Depression is elusive and may sneak up on you. It can present as fatigue, loss of energy, changes in weight and appetite, loss of interest in activities, crying episodes, feelings of loss of control, thoughts of giving up or suicide. Anxiety is easier to identify since it presents as pacing, thought racing, difficulty breathing or panic, loss of sleep, excessive worry. Anger can be a powerful emotion ranging from irritability to rage. It may be an indicator of depression as well. When discussing physical and psychological impact of caregiving a common denominator is stress. It’s important to take into consideration pre-existing conditions either physical or psychological which may put you at higher risk. Also, it’s important to note that those in helping professions are at a significant higher risk for developing problems as they have double duty at work and at home.

So, the thing to remember here is that your health and wellbeing are of greatest importance, I think the information above demonstrates what you may be facing as you care for your loved one.

Stress reduction is a major recommendation for, strongly put, your survival. One recommendation now is that your primary caregiver should be advised of your situation and regular checkups as well as tests for monitoring your stress level can be performed.

Exercise is also an effective way to manage stress hormones as well as distress. Limiting toxic relationships and developing those that feed your soul is good practice. One of the most effective and easy ways to decrease stress and anxiety is to breath. Yes, breath, we all do it and it’s free. Just find time to quietly sit and focus on your breath. Placing your right hand over your heart and your left on your stomach take a deep breath making sure you feel it in your belly.

Exhale, developing a rhythm with each breath.

Inhale breathing peace and exhale breathing love. Repeat this for 5 to ten times then repeat it 3 to 4 times daily. Regular practice is important.

If you can’t find a quiet moment the bathroom often serves many of us as a sanctuary. Just remember to breath.

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Be our Guest!

Caring for Caregivers: Topic Driven Learning Series An evening of dinner and discussion of various topics helpful in your care-giving journey.

June 11th, 2019 Meal provided

Free Series with Guest Speaker and industry professionals available to answer questions.

Topic: Topic: Self Self Care Care Doors open at 5pm, Program begins 5:30pm FREE Meal is provided, You MUST RSVP. Space is limited.

Call 405-314-7840 for Reservations or send email to l.sydnor @betterwithageok.com 715 NE 122nd Street OKC, OK 73114

Sunb e a m Family Services

SHINING BRIGHT FORÂ OKLAHOMA

Written By: Lisa Sydnor

SUNBEAM, A LEGACY OF CHANGING LIVES Over Sunbeam’s 113-year history, programs have evolved to meet the growing needs of children, families, and seniors in Oklahoma City through Early Childhood Education, Foster Care, sliding scale counseling, and Senior Services, impacting nearly 15,000 clients annually. Sunbeam embraces innovation, reaching out to the under served and seeking new, holistic ways to meet their needs while maintaining an administrative and fundraising cost below 10%.

Sunbeam’s Senior Services provides help, hope, and opportunity to over 4,500 senior adults each year. Ninety-four percent of clients served by Sunbeam’s Senior Services program live at or below the poverty line. There are four components to the Senior Services program: Senior Companions; Senior Residential shelter; Grandparents Raising Grandchildren; and, Caregiver Fundamentals.

In April 2019, The Oklahoma Center for Nonprofits announced the recipients of the ONE (Oklahoma Nonprofit Excellence) Awards. Sunbeam Family Services – Senior Programs received the Avedis Foundation and Express Employment Professionals Award for Self-Sufficiency Award. The ONE Awards honors organizations in eight categories: arts and humanities, community, education, health services, open services, self-sufficiency, seniors, and youth development.

Cont. on page 46

SUNBEAM

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Maintaining His Position A Son's love for his Mother

By Debbie Evers

It appears that all we hear about Senior Living from the media is the abuse that takes place. In addition, there are Law Firms that specialize in Elder Abuse and their commercials, are made to make you fear ever being put in a “Home”.

The truth is there are many passionate people working in Senior Living and a lot of people who feel that moving themselves or a parent into a Senior Living Community has improved their lives. What I would like

Debbie Evers Executive Director, Quail Creek Senior Living For information contact: 405-748-6464

to do with this column is to focus on the value in Senior Living.

While my experience lies in both Marketing and Administration in various levels of Senior Living: Independent Living, Assisted Living and Memory Care, I also have experienced it as the daughter in-law of a resident. My mother in-law passed away seven years ago from Alzheimer’s.

When my father in-law passed away my husband, Dale wanted to keep his

or take her out to lunch at restaurants she enjoyed. If she wanted to go

mother with us to get her adjusted and shopping she could count on him. He then ultimately move her to the

was able to put his energy into having

Assisted Living where I worked.

quality time with his mother and

Before we had time to make

making the most of the limited time

arrangements and head to Iowa for the they had together. funeral, I received a frantic call from

One day, several weeks after my

Dale, while I was at work saying I

mother in-law passed away I was

needed to come home right away. I

visiting my parents in Texas. I

left a note for my boss stating “had to

happened to call into work and was

go home for family emergency, mother

told my husband had been by. I was

in-law can’t find needle and thread”.

rather confused since neither myself

It became apparent that with my

nor my mother in-law were there.

mother in-law’s Alzheimer’s and OCD,

When I spoke with him and asked why,

my husband did not have the skill-set

he stated he had been driving by and

nor patience to take care of her at

decided to stop in and get a cup of

home.

coffee and say hi to everyone. Dale was

This did not make him a bad son, that not unique in this. On more than one he did not keep his mother in our

occasion I have had family members

home, but one who realized the best

come and have lunch or just stop in

thing he could do for his mother was

and visit after their parent has passed

to find a place where she could be

away. They themselves become part of

cared for by people who were trained

the Community and in addition to the

to handle Alzheimer’s. In addition she

loss of their parent, they miss the

had her own apartment, rather than

Residents and Staff they have gotten

just a bedroom in our house. She also

used to seeing on a regular basis.

had her own friends and activities to

In conclusion, I would like to hear

help keep her busy.So rather than

your stories on how Senior Living has

becoming his mother’s day to day

affected your life. There are so many

caregiver, he maintained his

great stories out there and I would

position as her son.

love to be able to share yours. Please

Instead of making sure she took her medications or that she bathed, he would come and have lunch with her and her friends at the Community

email me at: debbiebevers@yahoo.com

A Full Circle Moment Written By: Lisa Sydnor

Full Circle Adult Day Center in Norman celebrated the opening of the new facility and the fruits of their labors with an open house and ribbon cutting on March 26, 2019 at 4pm. Director,Donald Pyeatt his staff and board members are to be commended for the work, fundraising and perseverance required in making this new building a reality. Many volunteers, clients and their families, board and community members joined staff and the Norman Chamber of Commerce in the celebration. Full Circle Adult Day Center provides quality professional adult day services for seniors and people with disabilities.

To learn more about Full Circle Adult Day Center visit: 4223 28th Avenue NW, Norman, OK; call (405)477-2955 or check out the website at www.fullcircleok.org.

The comprehensive program at Full Circle addresses all areas of wellness including:

intellectual physical emotional

vocational spiritual social health

All of these milestones are achieved through both group and individual activities. Socializing, participating in activities and making friends it gives purpose, empowers and enhances their quality of life.

When caregivers are assured of quality, kind and experienced care for their loved ones, life can offer a completely different positive outlook. When their loved ones respond with smiles of joy and love towards the staff and other attendees at Full Circle, it is a win/win.

Having access to the programs at Full Circle offers the caregiver and the care receiver the opportunity to expand and enrich their daily lives.

Isolation is eliminated. Â Full circle meets these challenges, assisting families in the Norman area to achieve a higher quality of daily life.

Staff and volunteers focus on person-centered care; truly meeting the needs of each individual.

cont. from page. 07

Feelings, I never expected, rose up and shocked me with their intensity. I loved this man that I had spent most of my life married to but the physical toll left me exhausted and the emotional drain of dealing with it all began to send me into a spiral of depression and my sense of humor had left along with my joy in living.

All days were not so barren; we did have times when laughter would ease the strain. We found laughter in circumstances that would have appalled us before we began this journey. Like the first time my six foot, two hundred pound husband fell in the living room and could not get up even with me desperately pulling and straining. He forbade me to call 911. He was too embarrassed that he could not command his failing body to do what he told it to do. Finally relenting he allowed me to seek help from two of his neighborhood buddies.

They were, and still are, the best of the best. But even they could not get him to his feet. When they instructed me to call 911 he silently nodded his head but gave me strict instructions to tell them “NO SIRENS”, he didn’t want everyone to know we were in trouble.Ten minutes later we began to hear the sound of sirens getting closer and he was furious with me, but when the large red fire truck came into view he said, “Well, thank goodness someone’s house in on fire!” He remained silent as the three of us broke out in hysterical laughter. We could not have imagined that the firemen and ambulances would make many trips to our house over time.

I want you to listen to me carefully…

You must, no matter what else, care for yourself as well! Be your own best friend, look after yourself. There are solutions out there. Hunt until you find, make calls, look up on the internet, SEARCH, because the rest of your life depends on it! And there will be a time for you.

After Frank’s death I became a published author and am now working on my fourth novel. I have become a Christian speaker, columnist, volunteer, and am often referred to as a “humorist”. Truly, my sense of humor is one of the greatest gifts God has given me. Humor saved my sanity at the most insane times. I am also the grandmother of eight and the great grandmother of ten! I live the liveliest, most fulfilling, joy filled life I could not have imagined during my caregiving years. You see, even during those long years I was a child of In Memory of Frank Lamberson God. He is my best friend and I am eternally August 30, 1940 - May 3, 2011 grateful for His love and grace. I wish you the best and will pray for you my friends, Robbie Lamberson.

The Common Bond of Caregivers Written by Melissa Mahaffey

Don’t you remember the instant that you received that phone call that changed your life forever? The minute in time that all stood still. Your mind brought you to the place where every bit of your body ached, heated up and you became limp as a rag, all in one second. That moment you became the main decision maker.

You are now the cowboy on the white horse, superman coming in like a bolt of lightning. You aren’t ready for this. You ask yourself, “Why now?”, “How did Melissa R. Mahaffey, MHA, NHA Executive Director

this happen?”, “Can I manage all of this?”, “She's so

For more information call 405-608-8020

loved one, the fact that they were your ‘solid rock’,

healthy, we just went to the park yesterday.”

Despite everything that you remember about this your best friend, your ‘go-to’; now everything has changed. You now have to take the reins. This was not supposed to happen, not this early. Regardless of the age this role reversal occurs, everything is on your shoulders. Many nights you stood by the side of your loved one, worked from home, or simply put, placed your life on hold.

One thing that we all know is that there

Many caregivers will never be the same

are many emotions involved. Care-

due to their own declining health or the

giving is always a balancing act. Too often

circumstances due to the reversal of

family is not on the same page. The focus

roles. One thing is certain the idea of

must always be on your loved one.

family and home will never be the same.

You may live in a neighboring state or on

It is very true that once you are a

the other side of the world, however; mom

caregiver, you know what a caregiver

or dad, grandma or grandpa is still your

truly experiences. Caregivers share a

number one! Your career, your family or

common bond, a humbling gift.

your life may have taken you to the

I do believe on this journey of care-

farthest place away from home.

giving, there are people that bless us. It

Remember, home is where the most

may be a visit over coffee or offering to

important people in your life reside.

come over for a bit and give the caregiver

As a caregiver many emotions are

a small break in their day something as

experienced on this journey; the loss of

simple as an hour of time for them. Find

your independence, the loss of

that one caregiver you can bless today!

confidence, the feelings of grief, guilt,

Be gentle, be kind and understanding to

regret, love, hate and perhaps even

all caregivers, give them a break. As you

loneliness. So, it comes as no surprise,

have heard time and again, you never

many of these emotions are not widely

know what someone is going through, be

discussed. Caregivers are not allowed to

patient.

have these emotions.There is not always a support system to allow a safe outlet to discuss issues and feelings.

Sometimes it is difficult to press forward when your life is being engulfed by being a caregiver. One doesn’t have to be considered a full-time, 24/7 caregiver to feel this caregiver stress! Whether you are a current caregiver or are a recent caregiver, reach out to someone today.

Caregivers need a platform to discuss ALL their feelings, a support system that is safe and nonjudgmental.

"Care-giving is always a balancing act."

BY LISA SYDNOR

PROVIDES CLEAR FOCUS A Special Thank you to our Focus Group from VFW Post 9265

A Focus groups helps identify and validate what you think you know, or not! Our informal survey asking Seniors to rank their top 10 concerns have validated many of our concerns. Recently, VFW Post 9265 at 4605 S. Pennsylvania, allowed our publication to address their membership at a monthly meeting and distribute our survey. Not surprising, Isolation/Socialization was in the top three of every returned survey.

Whether the person is a caregiver, self-sufficient with or without mobility concerns or a home bound senior, this is a major issue. The volunteer staff at your local VFW can assist Veterans in connecting to services, programs or cutting through red-tape and accessing additional VA benefits.

VFW Posts are not subsidized by the government. The canteen and donations are their only source of income. cont. on page. 42

For 55+

SENIOR SERVICES: GIVING HOPE AND RESTORING DIGNITY

"According to AARP, nearly seven baby boomers turn 65 every minute."

This is expected to continue into the 2030's. Sunbeam seeks to give Oklahoman's who paved a way for current generations a safe and loving support system through our Senior Services program.

Ninety-four percent of clients served by Sunbeam’s Senior Services program were at or below the poverty line, which is $1,041 per month for one individual. Because of support from community partners and donors, last fiscal year 3,110 senior adults stayed active, connected to their communities, and supported seniors living in their own homes. cont. on page. 46

CAREGIVING FUNDAMENTALS PROGRAM

The Caregiving Fundamentals Program (CFP) served nearly 2,300 clients and provided 161 workshops and support groups to help caregivers in 2018. With the goal of encouraging self-care, the program provides support groups, counseling, respite care, training services, and resources referral information.

According to the National Alliance for Caregiving more than 43 million adults in the United States provided unpaid care to an adult or child in the last fiscal year. Additionally, studies show elderly spousal caregivers, aged 66-96, who experience caregiving-related stress, have a 63% higher mortality rate than those of non-caregivers of the same age.

Often caregivers are literally juggling caring for multiple-generational family members. This could be raising a grandchild and caring for an elderly or disabled family member; or caring for a spouse in the home and a parent in another location. The common threads seem to be grief as their loved ones mental or physical health deteriorates; guilt, for feeling angry or frustrated; and, hopelessness, feeling no one understands. SELF-CARE IS NOT SELFISH! Self-care is essential to continue caring for a loved one.

SUNBEAM SENIOR SHELTER ON POINT

Sunbeam’s Emergency Senior Shelter is the only facility of its kind in Oklahoma. The shelter provides temporary housing and case management for homeless adults ages 60 and older. The shelter is staffed 365 days per year, 24 hours a day. Residents may stay 30 days, longer if circumstances and progress dictate.

The shelter has 11 beds; two rooms with private baths enabling them to accept couples; four rooms with two twin-size beds; dining area; living room area and a computer center.

Several things make this different than other shelters; one is the staff and the belief that this is “home”, although temporary, it is home.

Residents are not required to do chores; they receive three home-cooked meals daily, weekly laundry service and do not have to vacate the premises during the day. The result of this supportive atmosphere is a 94% success rate in homeless seniors finding a permanent place to call home. A tour of the facility leaves a feeling of warmth and love, often tough love, but love of Shotgun, Sunbeam’s beloved therapy dog who greets all who enter.

Jessica Welp, administrator and case manager, stated, “The challenges our clients face and overcome are numerous and life altering. Shotgun is part of the healing process ."

One resident stated, “I couldn’t find a better place to be. This is my home for now.” Aloyce, a residential care specialist, is a real life “sunbeam!" She said working with seniors has given her an appreciation for life, expanded her understanding of seniors and changed her perception of homelessness.

Meranda, an intern from OU, found the exploitation of seniors and the trauma many have survived to be beyond belief.

If you are a senior on a limited income, homeless, have suffered a traumatic event or have no family support system, there is a sanctuary, a place of safety and caring at Sunbeam Emergency Senior Shelter. Call 405-609-1987 for more information.