Issue 9 - CAREGIVER Magazine - Providing Options and Support

CAREGIVER February 2020

FREE COPY

Issue 9

PROVIDING OPTIONS AND SUPPORT

A Pair of Kings Makes a Full House

2ND ANNUAL HEALTH & SAFETY FAIR A Pair of Kings MakesOF a TOPICS Full House THE TOUGHEST LOVE , COMPASSION & FORGIVENESS

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CONTENT

Vicki’s Advice Season of the Heart

ASK Lisa

Where to Meet People

Pair of Kings

A Cowboy and His Mom

08

23 Save the Date

22

Pull-Out Event Section

10

29 The Toughest of Topics

Love, Compassion, and Forgiveness

12

36 On The Lighter Side My Loving Partner

Financial Fitness

Changes in Retirement Plans

18

Living With Purpose

20

Better With Age

22

Why Forgiveness?

2nd Annual Health & Safety Fair

40 Learn Herbal Alternatives Bay Leaves Increase Your Immunity!

42 Cannacian’s Corner Coming From the Heart

46 Remember When

29

Happy Valentines Day!

46 On the Cover:

4

Meet true CAREGIVER Magazine royalty, the Kings. John King and his mother Pat King are readers who have pursued the information in these pages to profoundly change their lives. I am sure their story will impact your lives as well. Pat is a fixture at our Game Day gatherings. Her feisty sweetness is enjoyed by all who know her.

Pat is truly getting “BETTER WITH AGE”, every day. Pat’s transformation in body and spirit is breathtaking. John’s story is one of a modern day prodigal son. He is man after God’s own heart - after many years traveling away from all that is good and wholesome. John is riding high in the saddle with his mind in the middle and a firm grip on the reins of life. Thank you, John and Pat - you are both so inspirational!

Turn to page 12 to read more about this remarkable family.

Hello Caregivers, A dear friend of mine recently told me this magazine is my “LOVE HUG” to you, the readers. What a true and accurate statement! I do hope the magazine and its content each month feel like a big warm hug - to your heart and soul. I pray it strengthens and supports you in your own Caregiving journey. I hope it makes you think, makes you research options and ideas presented in these pages. I hope it helps you know you are not alone with what you’re going through. I hope it makes you happy and laugh out loud, I know On the Lighter Side last month had me laughing out loud with the “Dog Food Diet”.

I hope you all Remember When those nostalgic moments were filled with love, happiness and joy. I hope our practical Caregiving tips (like those found in Vicki’s Advice and ASK Lisa) help ease your load and give you strength. As we give you February’s “LOVE HUG”, please enjoy. Much love has been poured into these pages.

A very special and grateful thank you to our advertisers; who without them, this magazine would not be possible. And to the wonderful and amazing CAREGIVER staff; your passion, talents and character are truly immeasurable.

If you have met me in real life, there is good chance you have received a hug. I am a hugger and I like to give them as well as receive them. I know the true value of hugs and you may not realize this - but there is a lot of science behind the power of a hug.

Did you know hugs build trust, that they help facilitate open and honest communication? Hugs boost oxytocin levels, which reduce feelings of loneliness and isolation. Hugs increase serotonin levels, elevating mood and happiness. Hugs boost self-esteem, they make us feel special and loved. Hugs teach us the value in being able to give and receive blessings. Many people in real life are great at taking care of others but when someone tries to do something kind for them, they don’t receive as good as they give. In this season of love, remember to truly keep the love, peace and harmony flowing. You can’t give like a fire hydrant and receive like a clogged drain. When people that you have helped in their time of need offer you help in your time of need, graciously and enthusiastically say yes! There’s no doubt that you deserve a favor returned. Kindly accept it.

I wish you much love, peace and happiness this Valentine’s Day and throughout the rest of 2020. May God bless you and yours in your Caregiving journeys. Many warm hugs I extend, hoping you feel our love and admiration for you - the reader throughout this month’s issue.

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P.O. Box 721673 Oklahoma City, OK 73172

EDITORIAL Editor-In-Chief LASHANYA NASH Managing Editor MICHAEL E. BROWNING Art Director ANGELA BLAKE Writers MICHAEL E. BROWNING DENISE GLAVAN ROBBIE LAMBERSON VICKI MUIR JOHN SPIVEY LISA SYDNOR Photographers EMBERLEE NASH JESSIE NEWELL WYNELLE RECORD Community Outreach LISA SYDNOR Social Media Coordinator WYNELLE RECORD Layout WISE MARKETING ADVERTISING Publisher LASHANYA NASH 405.532.6057 l.nash@caregiveroklahoma.com

Business Development MICHAEL E. BROWNING 405.906.5405 m.browning@caregiveroklahoma.com

Account Executive ANGELA BLAKE 985.662.6581 a.blake@caregiveroklahoma.com

Accounting ANDREA O’HAIR

LaShanya L. Nash

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Vicki's Advice

Vicki Muir, Licensed Clinical Social Worker

Centuries ago, in 496 AD, Pope Gelasius declared February 14th Valentine’s Day in memory of St. Valentine of Terni. Legend has it that Valentine, who is reported to have been a Bishop, was martyred for secretly marrying couples so husbands would not have to go to war for Rome. It appears that Valentine was dedicated to promoting higher ideals of commitment and loving unconditionally.

Valentine’s Day is recognized as the day of love in many cultures around the world. It is also recognized as the very beginning of Spring - when plants and flowers begin to first sprout deep in the earth. Saint Valentine is also believed to be one of the saints of health and wellbeing. Symbols associated with Saint Valentine are roses and birds.

The heart has become the universal symbol of love. Its origins can be traced back to 510-490 B.C. captured on a coin from Cynene in the image of a seed pod. The heart is believed to be the seat of emotions where we find the wisdom of feeling.

It is believed to be the source of love, strength, compassion, hope, nurturing and charity. The heart is considered the source of creativity and home to our creative spirit.

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Season of the Heart Spiritually, the heart is considered the connection to spirit and the sacred. Physically, the heart nourishes the body providing us with life energy 24 hours a day in a rhythmic flow. Last of all, the heart feeds and nourishes the soul.

With all its wonderful attributes, Valentine’s Day might correctly be called a Celebration of the Heart!

Caregivers exhibit many of the attributes of the heart by performing selfless acts of love, nurturing, caring and compassion - often to a fault, giving more to others than to themselves.

They may encounter the pitfalls of self-sacrifice such as emotional and physical fatigue, as well as physical complications such as heart disease. Physically, caregivers may experience high blood pressure, heart attack, stroke and other stress related diseases. It is not uncommon for caregivers to experience emotional distress filled with feelings of guilt, regret, self-criticism and judgement. Depression and anxiety are extremely common emotional problems that may manifest.

Oddly enough, the very attributes of the heart I’ve mentioned here are the same things that may foster wellbeing and stress relief. So, lets look more closely at some ways to foster a health-full, loving relationship with yourself.

Practicing unconditional love toward yourself is the essence of healing. Give yourself permission to feel loved. You deserve it. You are a precious, loving human being.

Identify feelings of guilt, regret and self-judgment. Try to release them with forgiveness, acceptance and letting go. These feelings and thoughts no longer serve you and are only doing you harm. Acceptance doesn’t mean approval.

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9

ASK Lisa

By Lisa Sydnor

The staff of CAREGIVER Magazine is committed to connecting those in need with services and programs.

If you have a question, call 405-314-7840 or email l.sydnor@caregiveroklahoma.com Include your name and phone number in the message.

I have always wanted to do an “Ann Landers” column! Joining a dance club or taking lessons; it’s hard to salsa, What better time than February, and Valentine’s Day, tango, swing or square dance without some talking and to exercise that prerogative? laughing. You don’t have to take a partner to join in the fun. Bridge clubs, community centers, senior centers, In the past few months, several men and women have gyms, yoga classes, book clubs, auditing classes at expressed to me their desire to have “that special a college or university all offer regular times and someone” in their lives. After all, there is still life after opportunities to mingle and meet. caregiving and other types of life events. Life should be enjoyed and celebrated. According to an informal Have you volunteered for a non-profit? Not only do and unscientific poll I conducted (I just asked a bunch they need your help, but you meet the greatest people. of people), the best place to meet like-minded people Volunteers are in demand to facilitate events, such is at church. as a run or health fair or auction. How about leading nature walks or tours of historic locations? Be a For me, other venues offer more opportunity for docent at a museum or art gallery. Part-time jobs can conversation and getting to know someone. For be fun and profitable. Share your knowledge and do a instance, malls, whether shopping or walking, people “how to” class, or if you’re not feeling that confident, are more casual and will engage in conversation. attend one. Go to home & garden or boat or RV or car

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or vintage car shows. Go antiquing or start visiting thrift stores or garage sales. Compare notes with others as to “best” sale of the day.

pool tables and tell everyone that I want to learn to shoot pool. Someone will know someone who loves to shoot pool.

The critical element to meeting people is getting out and doing it. You cannot meet anyone if you are sitting in front of the TV. Tell everyone you know that you want to make new friends. If you were looking for a job you would have a game plan. This is equally as important, plan your strategy, work your plan. Leave past relationship baggage at the door. Be positive. No one wants to be around negativity. A woman said to me,

I have made lifetime friends at a live music event (Ira, Dorothy, Joanna), in line at the grocery store (Dee, Irma, Will), at an arts festival (Cookie, Kenneth, Earl), on the train at the Royal Gorge (Avi & Dimple) and at the park watching my grandchildren play (John). You have to take that first step. Here comes a really good one.

“Why bother meeting new men, they are all jerks.”

Well, yes, with that attitude the only people you will meet will be jerks. Attitudes beget attitudes.

I want to learn to shoot pool. Logic says I need to frequent places with pool tables. Have I told anyone that I want to learn? Nope. Have I sought out places with pool tables? Nope. What are my chances of learning to shoot pool? Zero. Therefore, I must get out of the house, go to entertainment locations with

Smile. It is nearly impossible to be in a bad mood when you are smiling. People treat you differently when you greet them with a smile. Smile and the world smiles with you! Be ready for fun. Get out of your house and out of your comfort zone. Try something new.

The wider your circle of acquaintances, the bigger your world becomes. The bigger your world, the more friends you have. And with more friends, the opportunity odds that one of those friends will introduce you to, or will become, that special someone grow exponentially. Remember, it is all in attitude and presentation. Smile and be happy.

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12

COWBOY MOM The

And His

For me, this story began with a call from John, a tired and frightened son looking for services and advice as the caregiver for his mother. John was trying to navigate the fine line between too much or not enough!

What is too much input into mom’s life or when is it not enough? How can I help if she won’t listen? I assured John that his feelings of helplessness, anger, depression, loneliness, isolation and fear were normal and that first, and foremost, he needed to take care of himself. It has been a struggle. Our goal was for John and his mother, Pat, both, to know they are not alone in this journey.

Let’s step back seven years to when circumstances drove a wedge between mother and son. John is the only child of Pat and Bob King, they adopted him at two days old. His dad, Bob, died in 2003. Pat remarried in 2005. Her son felt that her second husband seemed to want to control all aspects of her life. To say that he and John did not get along would be an understatement.

There was a great deal of animosity between the two men for eight years. John finally could not stand by and watch his mom go through an abusive marriage any longer.

He did not see his mother again until his stepfather’s death in 2017. John came back for the funeral - to be there for his mom. Seeing him again was a great weight off Pat’s mind. She was worried about him and with no contact for seven years, she had been afraid she would never see him again. John was concerned about Pat’s health. She was the caregiver for his stepfather through his illness and was now in a very fragile state.

After the service, John returned to Abilene, TX. They talked several times a week, slowly rebuilding their relationship.

Adding to the family dynamics, John is a recovering addict. When I asked what his addiction is, he stated, “Everything. Anything. Drugs, alcohol, women, gambling, money, sex, work. Anything in excess can ruin your life, I was addicted.” Back in Abilene after the funeral, John continued the life he had built after losing everything to his addiction. He says that prior to arriving in Abilene, he was hopeless, busted, disgusted and couldn’t be trusted. But here he was, employed with a good company and building a side business as a farrier (horse shoeing).

Pat’s health continued to decline and a family moved in to care for her. John couldn’t get satisfactory information from the caretakers so he came back to Norman to check on her. What he found was a shock.

Pat was too weak to care for herself, deeply depressed and unable to make decisions. This weighed heavily on John; so he left his job, family and friends in Abilene to return to Norman to be with his mom.

John stated, “Those who were living with mom as friends and caretakers were only enabling her to continue staying isolated and living unhealthy as long as they could live there with her. I was finding out about health issues after the fact and feared that one day I would lose her if I didn’t get involved - quick. Mom became willing with the hope that I was there till the end, from now on. It wasn’t easy because of all the past harm, but we both were doing the best we could.

13

home. She fears being alone and this home is where she wants to finish life.

My goal is that together we can make this possible. She deserves to have her voice and to enjoy what years she has left. I know that I am not alone thanks to support from CAREGIVER, services like Sunbeam and the experience and empathy shared by others who have been down this road before me. Many families have these dynamics and I pray that others will identify with this story and begin to reach out. It was like picking up a phone that weighed 5,000 lbs. and a lot of doubt that you (Lisa) would return my call...but you did! Now, I hope that we can share that hope with others.”

My primary purpose wasn’t to fight mom at every turn but instead to love her and help her. This required me asking for help from others.

It wasn’t till I came back from Abilene that we began to learn the extent of her financial issues. Yes, the house would have been lost if action wasn’t taken to resolve it. Now, we are continuing to reduce debt and get mom back her financial freedom, as well as remodel her

Pat’s home in rural Cleveland County is actually two homes in one, an underground home with a traditional home above ground. John moved into the traditional home as Pat loves her underground home; so now they are living together – separately! John is slowly remodeling both the homes, adding great aging-inplace features as he goes.

In June, John and Pat met me at the Sunbeam Reunion event where they met staff, volunteers and families who either had or were receiving services. John and Pat have joined Sunbeam support groups independent of each other.

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John had to make many decisions independent of Pat during his first two years back in Norman. Pat was not, and is not, ready to give up her independence. She wants to keep the peace but is not yet ready to turn all of her life decisions over to John. She said,

to laugh, is competitive, loves to play poker and Phase 10, road trips to anywhere for any reason (my kinda gal!), and is hard-headed and stubborn. Yet the ugly face of depression can, and has, made it a long road in recovery.

“I don’t want him to “take over my life” but I don’t want to lose him again either. Those seven years without John in my life were agonizing and heartbreaking.”

They realize that want the same basic things: for Pat, a loving relationship with her only child, good health, friendships and happiness; for John, his continued recovery, Pat’s and his health & happiness. Together, they are resolving issues, one-at-a-time. Baby steps!

John runs in HIGH gear and is ready to gallop off into the sunset! Pat is comfortable with a few hours with friends at a slow walk.

Realizing and acknowledging that she gravitates to co-dependent relationships has given her courage to think for herself. She is learning that caring for herself is primary. This is not something that is natural to many of us. With encouragement from John, Pat is taking a more active role in her finances and planning for her future.

Pat has joined a group sponsored by CAREGIVER Magazine that plays games every other week and some of these ladies have taken a road trip! With more road trips and fishing expeditions to come, it seems. She has volunteered teaching others to play card games. Her health is improving – as long as she remembers to take care of herself first – and line dancing may be in the future! Pat is feisty, loves

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John is learning not to raise his voice in frustration and anger; to ask Pat what she wants to do; to make suggestions – not dictate; to step back and try to see it from Pat’s point of view, and, to remember, that his mom loves him. John continues to work his program and is about to celebrate five years of recovery in March. Through the anonymous, twelve step fellowships, he has also found continued support. Much to his surprise, many in recovery have had similar experiences of getting clean and returning to be caretakers of their parents. Sharing experiences, emotions and laughter has proven to be a blessing. John works full-time as a farrier for Oklahoma National Stockyards. Being a farrier is a passion for John and takes the “work” out of working! John feels called to serve God as a minister and has begun his studies.

He has reunited with his high school sweetheart and is enjoying building up that relationship.

It is difficult being a care receiver. I speak from experience. There have been times in my life when my

4 MARK YOUR CALENDAR

CAREGIVER MAGAZINE sponsors a fun-filled Games & Things every other Thursday, 1pm-3pm.

It is open to caregivers and care receivers. No RSVP needed. No fees. Bring your own drink (non-alcoholic) and come play Phase 10, Spades, Canasta, and Trivial Pursuit, Dominoes or other games. Next fun dates: February 13 & 27. CAREGIVER offices boardroom: 5300 North Meridian, Suite 2. For more information contact Lisa Sydnor at 405-314-7840 or email l.sydnor@caregiveroklahoma.com.

children stepped in to care for me and I was not the most gracious receiver. It takes determination, practice and LOVE to be a gracious care receiver. Pat is learning to listen to John and his legitimate concerns, to see situations from his point of view, to remember he loves her and wants what is best for her. There is a difference

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between being independent and being obstinate. Pat is practicing her “graciousness” because she understands that her lack of action put her finances in jeopardy and her health at risk. There are still times when it seems impossible to cope with everything life is handing them. Depression is an enemy to be fought every day.

With John’s encouragement, Pat is more involved in all decisions.

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Pat still isolates herself sometimes. John still tries to dictate how things will work; he is after all, a harddriving, action-oriented cowboy! But they are learning to stop, breathe, and listen to each other. It has been very difficult. Life is not for the faint-of-heart. But, with love, burnt bridges can be mended and broken lives can be rebuilt. John and Pat are living proof.

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17

Look for New Changes in Retirement Plans

By CAREGIVER Staff

The beginning of the year is always a grand time to review many aspects of our personal fitness. Like an annual physical checkup, an annual financial checkup can include review of your income, expenses, taxes and investments.

• No age limit for traditional IRA contributions – Previously, you could only contribute to your traditional IRA until you were 70 ½, but under the SECURE Act, you can now fund your traditional IRA for as long as you have taxable earned income.

As we get on in years, it’s important to regularly look at end-of-life issues - like retirement planning and funeral expenses - as well.

• Limitation of “Stretch IRA” provisions – Under the old rules, beneficiaries were able to stretch taxable RMDs from a retirement account over his or her lifetime. Under the SECURE Act while spouse beneficiaries can still take It might not have made the headlines, but a recently advantage of this “stretch” distribution, most non-spouse passed piece of legislation could affect the IRAs and 401(k)s of millions of Americans beginning in 2020. So, if beneficiaries will have to take all the RMDs by the end you have either of these accounts, or if you run a business, of the tenth year after the account owner passes away.

Consequently, non-spouse beneficiaries who inherit an you’ll want to learn more.

IRA or other retirement plan could have tax implications due to the need to take larger distributions in a shorter The new laws, collectively called the Setting Every timeframe.

Community Up for Retirement Enhancement (SECURE) Act, include these noteworthy changes: • No early withdrawal penalty for IRAs and 401(k)s when new child arrives. Typically, you must • Higher age for RMDs – Under current law, you must pay a 10% penalty when you withdraw funds from your start taking withdrawals – known as required minimum IRA or 401(k) before you reach 59 ½. But now, with the distributions, or RMDs – from your traditional IRA and 401(k) or similar employer-sponsored plan once you turn new rules, you can withdraw up to $5,000 from your retirement plan without paying the early withdrawal 70 ½. The new law pushes the date to start RMDs to 72, which means you can hold on to your retirement savings a penalty, as long as you take the money within one year of a child being born or an adoption becoming final. bit longer.

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SOME PROVISIONS OF THE SECURE ACT PRIMARILY AFFECT BUSINESS OWNERS: • Multi-employer retirement plans – Unrelated companies can now work together to offer employees a 401(k) plan with less administrative work, lower costs and fewer fiduciary responsibilities than individual employers now encounter when offering their own retirement plans.

• Tax credit for automatic enrollment – The new law provides a tax credit of $500 for some smaller employers who set up automatic enrollment in their retirement plans. And a tax credit for establishing a retirement plan has been increased from $500 to $5,000.

• Use of annuities in 401(k) plans – It will now be easier for employers to consider including annuities as an investment option within 401(k) plans. Previously, many businesses avoided offering annuities in these plans due to liability concerns related to the annuity provider, but the new rules should help reduce these concerns.

The SECURE Act is the most significant change to our retirement savings system in over a decade. We here at CAREGIVER Magazine encourage you to contact your financial advisor, tax professional and/or your estate planning attorney to assess the potential impact on your

investment strategies and to determine any possible tax and estate planning implications of the SECURE Act. Ultimately, how secure you are in retirement is up to you to determine and influence through understanding your situation and taking appropriate actions. Your best decisions are informed decisions. Is 2020 the year you get clear on your retirement plans?

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19 19

“When you

Living with Purpose

BY DENISE HEATH

forgive, you heal.

And when you let go,

Why Forgiveness?

you grow.”

Like all of us, I have memories buried deep inside that only I know about, memories that include personal pain and anguish. Though I have done my best to deal with them, these memories are still there. And they would still have the power to hurt me ... if I chose to let them.

Should I forgive them? Why should I forgive them? Do they deserve to be forgiven?

I was bullied as a child and I’ve lived with that unhappiness for a lot of years. I was physically and mentally abused in my first marriage. That torment is still there too. I have an in-law whom I never know exactly where I stand with her. One minute, I’m her best friend and the next minute, she won’t even talk to me. My mother’s siblings did not come to her funeral. I still fight resentment over that.

Forgiveness is hard. It’s so personal. The very thought can trigger pain and heartache. Someone has hurt us.

What do we do about that? It’s common to think that by not forgiving, we are punishing that person for hurting us. This is an illusion - and quite a damaging deception at that. In reality, we are only hurting our self.

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If we are honest, we will admit that we too have hurt someone, and therefore, are in need of forgiveness ourselves. Maybe that honesty is where we should begin.

A few years ago I worked for a doctor who believed that forgiveness was a key to becoming healthy. He would treat his patients but he would not move on to the next until he had discussed the importance of forgiveness.

He believed when a person learned to forgive that it had a complimentary effect, that letting go of hurt feelings worked collaboratively with his medical expertise and the medications he prescribed.

Johns Hopkins University confirmed this in a study on forgiveness. The study showed that the act of forgiveness could reap huge rewards for your health.

It improved cholesterol levels and reduced the risk of heart attack. People slept better. It reduced blood pressure, anxiety, depression and stress. And it even helped with pain.

Dr. Karen Swartz said in the same study,

“Forgiveness is not just about saying the words. It is an active process in which you make a conscious decision to let go of negative feelings – whether the person deserves it or not.”

When we forgive, we are no longer controlled by the pain and heartache another has caused us. We can move forward and not live in the past. The anger and malice for that person dissipates. And then something very important, something very beautiful, happens.

Peace. A peace occurs within you, one that surpasses all understanding.

And then your attitude changes. You become more understanding of others, more accepting of them, and life’s difficulties. Finally, your act of forgiveness becomes an inspiration to others. It demonstrates, for all to see, a healthier way of living, a healthier way of being in this world.

But know this. When we forgive another person, it must be done with intent.

It’s a choice. And if you do chose to forgive, the shackles of anger, resentment, pain and loss are cast aside.

A heavy weight will be removed from your heart. And you are now capable of reconciling this – emotionally, physically and mentally. Why forgiveness?

Because holding onto anger and resentment backfires on you.

It only hurts you, not them.

Why forgiveness? Because forgiveness is a gift to yourself.

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21

Mark Your Calendars For The:

SECOND ANNUAL

BETTER WITH AGE

It is that time of year again - for the 2nd Annual Better With Age Health & Safety Fair in the Shoppes at NorthPark Mall, 12100 North May Avenue. It’s happening Friday, April 17, 2020! Be sure to Save The Date and time in your phone and get ready for fun!

Last year, the Better With Age Health & Safety Fair was exceptional - with over forty vendors, live music, entertainment, singing and dancing performances by the Oklahoma Senior Follies entertainers. There were amazing door prizes! It was a party - with food, fun and great information!

2020 promises to be even bigger and better! We have more great performers, more amazing door prizes and invaluable tips to keep us healthy and safe as we age.

2020 Health & Safety Fair

All of last year’s vendors have confirmed they are returning for this years event. Last year over 300 people attended the Health and Safety Fair and we are expecting even bigger numbers this year by moving the Fair into April (and away from High School graduation season).

Some of the sponsors for the event are; United Healthcare, Cox Home Care, Compass Senior Living Solutions, OKALA, Oklahoma City Police, Oklahoma County Sheriff’s Office and Well Preserved Advisory Group.

Visit our event website at www.betterwithageok.com to register your company. If you have any questions, contact Lisa Sydnor at 405-314-7840 or email her at l.sydnor@betterwithageok.com. This will be a great day of information sharing and camaraderie.

Come join in the fun!

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Advertise HERE! www.CaregiverOklahoma.com 405-532-6057 l.nash@caregiveroklahoma.com

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22

SPECIAL PULL-OUT SECTION rm a n ce F R E E S p e ci a l P e rf o fo r S e n io rs !

Come play games, lau

gh and relax!

Conversation, Fun and Refre shments all in one place. Jo in other care gi friends,play bo ard games, dom vers, make in nibble on a snac oes or cards, k and have a fe w laughs:

at 10 am Fr id ay , M ar ch 27 th NG BL VD .

PE RS HI A 30 01 Â GE NE RA L ST AT E FA IR AR EN

brought This special performance of the to you by the members residents, ur India Shrine. Bring yo d loved ones, caregivers an s. rcu celebrate life at the Ci

For more information call 405-947-3311

Thursday, Februar y 1 3 t h 1 p m -3 p m Thursday, Februar y 2 7 t h 1 p m -3 p m Thursday, March 5 t h 1 p m -3 p m Thursday, March 1 2 t h 1 p m -3 p m CA R E G IV E R M A G A Z IN E o

ff ic e 5 3 0 0 N . M e ri d ia n A v e . O K C

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Save The Date Sponsored By:

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This is a free one-day event that features 100 exhibitors, plus seminars from experts in health & wellness, nutrition, finance, technology, travel, home healthcare, assisted living, and much more!

24

• Fashion & beauty advice

The expo willand have so much • Mobility products medical to offer including: equipment • SEMINARS • Health, nutrition, and fitness products geared 50-Plus, Boomers, and • How totomake investments work for you Seniors • GIVEAWAYS & DOOR PRIZES

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This is your opportunity to reach a dedicated audience of consumers who are looking for needed services.

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This is a free one-day event that features 100 exhibitors, plus seminars from experts in health & wellness, nutrition, finance, technology, travel, home healthcare, assisted living, and much more!

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Lunch will be served

25

SECOND ANNUAL

2020 Health & Safety Fair FRIDAY APRIL 17TH, 9AM-NOON

BETTER WITH AGE

Shoppes at Northpark

122nd & N. May Avenue, Oklahoma City Triple Door Prize Tickets for Pre-registered ations Communities, Clubs or Organiz 30am and anyone in line between 9-9:

Vendor Space Available 405-314-7840

t., Office, Oklahoma City Fire Dep The Oklahoma County Sheriff's OK A, OK Insurance Commission, Oklahoma City Police Dept., EMS

along with igate aging many businesses specializing in helping adults nav

P, AAA, and ABLE Tech; Atty. Gen. Office, EMBARK, AAR

mation. your questions and provide infor will all be available to answer Hosted by

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26

dnor@betterwit For more information: Call Lisa 405-314-7840 - L.Sy

Longterm Care Options in Oklahoma

ASSISTED LIVING

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ASSISTED LIVING A home or establishment that may provide assistance with personal care, medications, ambulation, nursing supervision and intermittent or unscheduled nursing care. They cannot provide 24-hour skilled nursing care. Licensed by Oklahoma State Department of Health Mainly Private Pay, LTC Insurance may cover , VA Aid & Attendance, & Tribal Benefits Medicaid Option through DHS (Advantage Waiver)

NURSING HOME A nursing facility that provides 24-hour skilled nursing care and related services for residents who require medical or nursing care.

Nursing Home Care Act - October 1, 1980. Licensed by Oklahoma State Department of Health. Nursing homes provide the highest level of care.

Options for Medicare/Medicaid

ADULT DAY CARE Provides health, recreational, social and supportive services to impaired adults for more than four hours per day. Participants do not stay in the center overnight. Adult Day Care Act - November 1, 1989 Licensed by Oklahoma State Department of Health VA allows respite benefits Medicaid Option through DHS (Advantage Waiver)

VETERANS CARE Created in 2013, this program is for residents who are veterans living in the state veteran’s centers. They are licensed as a nursing facility and can provide 24-hour skilled nursing care and related services for residents who require medical or nursing care . Falls under Nursing Home Care Act - May 29, 2013. Licensed by Oklahoma State Department of Health

CONTINUUM OF CARE Combines the services of a nursing facility with an assisted living center or an adult day care center. It is licensed under the Continuum of Care and Assisted Living Act and must also meet requirements applicable to nursing facilities, assisted living centers and adult day care centers. Licensed by Oklahoma State Department of Health Currently inOklahoma, all Continuum of Care’s only have assisted livings.

Medicaid Option through DHS (Advantage Waiver) for Assisted Living and Adult Day Care.

RESIDENTIAL CARE HOMES Provide residential accommodations, food service, and supportive assistance. May also provide assistance with meals, dressing, bathing, other personal needs, and medication administration. Cannot provide medical care such as skilled nursing. Residential Care Act - November 1, 1984 Licensed by Oklahoma State Department of Health A typical residential care resident is younger than other long term care options and only requires assistant with medication administration.

NO Options for Medicare/Medicaid

INDEPENDENT SENIOR LIVING/HOME CARE Apartments, cottages, and single-family homes for seniors 55 & over who do not require assistance with daily activities or 24/7 skilled nursing but may benefit from convenient services, senior-friendly surround-ings, and increased social opportunities. NOT Licensed by Oklahoma State Department of Health. No oversight since they are not licensed. May have “High Acuity” that is receiving Home Health and or Hospice services.

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The Toughest of Topics

By LaShanya Nash

Love, Compassion and Forgiveness Everyday, all across the world - and even right here in Oklahoma - families are faced with managing pain as their loved one dies. In fact, right now as you read this, someone is in the active stages of death. With a high degree of likelihood, someone who loves them is by their side and may even be the one administering pain and anti-anxiety medications to provide peace and comfort as they pass away.

Over the next few months we are digging deep into palliative care, hospice and choices surrounding dying. All of the topics are tough and some are going to be controversial. I felt I needed to let you know what is coming to give you the opportunity to make educated choices and decisions about your end of life options - and why you plan for them now, when you are of sound mind and body.

In this season of love, this is a very different kind of love story. One of a Father’s love for his children and his children’s love for him. This is a story about family, loss, pain and suffering. This is my story of the night my Daddy passed away and my journey through the guilt I have felt for my role in his death.

No, I am not a murderer.

Or am I? I will tell you I have struggled deeply with this since he passed in November of 2016. His passing was the genesis of my journey into publishing this magazine.

The loss of my amazing parents and Grandmother created such hopelessness at times, that I saw a void in good informative resources for families caring for loved ones with health issues. My years of experience in the newspaper industry provided the practical knowledge to make CAREGIVER Magazine possible. It was over a three-year period - from 2015 through 2017 - that my life and the life of my children changed forever.

In 2015 Momma had a long agonizing journey to her death by a rare fungal infection (called Histoplasmosis) that started in her lungs but eventually consumed her entire body.

Histoplasmosis is typically a very curable disease but regionally it is very unusual. After eight months of being treated with antibiotics, in and out of hospitals and skilled nursing centers, her actual diagnosis came too late for the anti-fungal medication to work.

The horrific disease that had ravaged her body and left her barely recognizable finally took her life. She passed away in the Intensive Care Unit. The staff were very accommodating to our large family placing Momma in the room closest to the family waiting area so we could sneak the grandchildren in to see her - which brought her joy, even in the end of her days. She was an amazing grandmother, mother, wife and friend. The hole in my heart left from her absence is great, she was my best friend.

Every morning while Momma was in the ICU my Daddy would get up tend to the livestock, horses, his 29 29

accumulated herd of barn cats, then fix breakfast for himself and his mother (who, at 90, lived with my parents). He would then begin his commute, that took over an hour, to be with Momma in the ICU. He did it everyday and she was there for over a month. Their love and bond was strong after 45 years of marriage, they were truly living out their marriage vows. Dad would sit by Momma, hold her hand or brush her hair and tell her how much he loved her and how pretty she was. To see how he took care of Momma and was there for her was awesome to witness.

After Momma passed, Daddy’s level of grieving was intense. I know the sound of wailing and it still shakes me to this day to think about the heartbreak he felt.

He would call me - always late in the day, or evening, when all the chores of country living were done.

When the crickets, darkness and sadness would come chirping into his head taking over his thoughts and his lonesomeness being too much to bear would call me crying, hurting, missing and longing for Momma. Many of you having read my article about my father being a heavy weapons platoon leader in Vietnam; know this level of emotion and outward expression of pain was not something we witnessed growing up. After hours daily, for weeks, on the phone with Daddy I asked him what things he missed most about Momma.

The list was long and varied, it ranged from how she made herself up so pretty when they left the house, to her faithfulness to him, her spunkiness and how good her biscuits were.

30

After many weeks at this level of grieving. I asked him,

“Daddy, what do you think it would do to Momma if she could see how sad you are?

We can’t bring her back, we can’t go back in time, you have to find ways to begin a new chapter without Momma.”

I asked him to think of two or three activities he enjoyed, or something he had always wanted to do, and I would follow up with him to make sure we had forward progress. About two days later he called and told me, “I just bought twenty head of roping steers and Jim Bob (his cousin) and I are going to start roping steers again!” In their thirties, the two were team roping partners, Jim Bob was the header and Daddy was the healer. Well that got him on a roll. Next he called and let me know he bought a motorcycle. For this I was not nearly as excited about as the steers. He said, “My legs muscles aren’t strong enough to hold it up right now. I got my exercise bike out to build up my leg strength to be able to be safe on the road.” After a bit, he did enjoy backroad cruising on his motorcycle and I enjoyed him finding joy in living again.

Everything seemed better, he seemed to be finding center again and leveling out when he called and told me he was not feeling good. He thought he had the flu but his legs were really swollen. He had lost a good bit of weight but we figured it was due to all of his activity; he was riding horses in the morning and again late in the day, roping, riding his motorcycle - and he would go dancing with a group of widows and widowers at the Elks Lodge.

Daddy got to feeling very sick and went to the E.R. His white blood cell count was really off but the doctors could not find anything obvious. The flu test was negative, so they ran more tests. The doctor gave him the news that he had a Hepatocellular Carcinoma, liver cancer. He eventually was taken to the VA hospital then was later released into hospice care.

While in Vietnam, Daddy had become host to a parasite called a liver fluke that had destroyed a portion of his liver. It lived in his liver after his return for over a decade… the cancer was on the opposite side. The VA doctors informed him of his fate. He called

me and told me the shocking news. I remember that phone call like it was yesterday. He said “Shanya, the doctors said it is liver cancer and nothing can be done.

It is very aggressive and inoperable, and I only have six days to six weeks to live.”

I wanted a different doctor, a different diagnosis, I wanted so desperately for it to be removed and him to receive treatment and be well. How could this be?

He had been so active and happy just ten days before.

I could not imagine losing both of my best friends only one year apart. He was so strong and resolute as he told me, I knew it was serious. I knew he had accepted his death sentence and was working a punch list of phone calls and final wishes. He was in control of his death just like he had been in control of his life.

He wanted to die at home. In his own bed, around loved ones. He wanted the grand-babies to be free to come and go as they pleased. He wanted the house to be filled with friends, family and love. He wanted to be home. We honored his wishes.

The day he was discharged from the hospital and into hospice, he was transported back to the peace of his country farm. The house was absolute chaos; neighbors and relatives bringing food; chickens, cats and kids running around outside being rowdy. It almost seemed like Thanksgiving Day instead of the day it was. The hospice nurse came thru with the pain kit and instructions - and many other things that seem a blur at this point. As nightfall came and friends and family began to disperse, my younger sister Andrea and I settled in for the night ahead. Beforehand I had willingly accepted the role of the loved one that

would administer the morphine.

My younger sister Andrea had been the one that had taken on the brunt of the caregiving for Momma and Daddy.

I knew my duties and the task at hand. I knew I would do what had to be done for Daddy to be comfortable. His death was inevitable and imminent.

I wish he could have had the Hollywood contrived tranquil country version of a death scene. There’d be Daddy laying on a bed of fresh, line-dried linens covered in a homemade quilt. The bed perfectly positioned on the freshly painted front porch with beams of sunlight delicately dancing across his face, the intoxicating smells of honeysuckle and magnolia swirling in the air transported by a gentle warm breeze. With poetic, lucid words of love flowing to and from him as he gently and peacefully took his last breath. That image was far from reality.

The reality was a terrible amount of pain. And the arsenal of drugs - left by hospice, for us to dispense - was not managing his pain. I followed the doctor’s prescribed orders exactly, charting and noting

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My passion and purpose is to help people heal painlessly from what has been troubling them, often in as little as 1-3 sessions by using Rapid Resolution Therapy. www.rapidresolutiontherapy.com My website is www.rapidreliefcounseling.com 31

everything that was given to him. About midnight the intensity of pain increased, and we called the hospice nurse on call to let her know what we were in the middle of. She gave suggestions - we tried them all. Around 2 a.m., Andrea and I decided that if we could not get his pain under control, we were going to call 9-1-1 and have him transported back to the hospital. At that point I called the nurse again and demanded help or we were going to the hospital. She called the Doctor, who instructed me to give him the same amount of Morphine, but instead of every two hours it could be given every fifteen minutes. Finally, he was resting peacefully.

Calm came back into the situation and we prayed his death would come soon. The physical process of dying began to take its course and we could see life passing from his body. His respiration and heartbeat began to

slow down so we knew it would not be much longer.

A rogue rooster crowed about two hours earlier than would have been expected - and he really belted out his morning song of jubilation. The smile that came across Daddy’s face was the whole reason he needed to die at home like he wanted. Around the sounds of farm life not the beeps and bustle of a hospital setting.

He could hear and had some level of comprehension still while I went through a list of highlights from his life with Momma. I went through the names of each of us children and talked to him about how they had raised smart, independent and responsible children. That as adults, we were instilling those same lessons and values they had instilled into us into his grandchildren. That his work on earth was done and he could be at peace. My sister and I sang You Are My Sunshine to him. Within the next hour I thought he had passed multiple times. His color was changing and we knew he was almost gone from this earth. I was taking his pulse just as the last heartbeat left his body, he had passed.

We called the hospice nurse who notified the funeral home. The nurse was coming to retrieve and dispose of what was left of the Morphine and other medications from the kit. The funeral home was headed to the farm to pick up Daddy to prepare his body for the funeral. It had been almost 48 hours since either my sister and I

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had slept. As we waited on everyone to make their way to the country, we took a nap right there, each holding one of his hands. The front gate alarm woke us just as the sun was coming up in the sky. The same funeral home my family has used for fifty years came into the house, familiar old friends, always there for us in our times of sorrow. They hugged and comforted us. As they brought his body down the hall from the bedroom he was covered in a blanket of hearts and American flags. It brought a smile to my face, that blanket pretty much summed up my daddy. A man with so much heart and character, filled with so much love for family. He fought under the flag for our freedoms and now he was finally free.

My dad was a real-life horse whisperer, it was mesmerizing to see him work with horses. And to our surprise, when we got out to the front porch the horses from both the barn and the pasture had came to say their goodbyes to him. They were gently pawing the ground and letting out low nickering sounds as his body was loaded in the vehicle for transport.

At the time, with all the effort to make him comfortable, I did not really process mentally what I was doing. I did not understand how I would feel afterwards. I didn’t realize the layers of guilt and isolation I would feel. I felt guilty in his death. The

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cancer provided his death sentence, but I still felt I needed to ask the Lord for forgiveness for my peace and processing of the ordeal. I don’t know if I have done anything wrong morally.

But if faced with the situation again the only thing I would have done differently was during the two hours the pain was so intense for him.

I wish I would have known to increase his morphine sooner, so he would not have been in so much pain for so long.

These are such tough topics, but we will all be faced with them on our journey through life and caring for loved ones. “Medical Aid in Dying” is legal in ten States: California, Colorado, District of Columbia, Hawaii, Montana, Maine, New Jersey, Oregon, Vermont, and Washington. The laws state that “actions taken in

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accordance with [the Act] shall not, for any purpose, constitute suicide, assisted suicide, mercy killing or homicide, under the law”. This distinguishes the legal act of “medical aid in dying” from the act of helping someone commit suicide, which is prohibited by statute in 42 states and prohibited by common law in an additional six states and the District of Columbia.”(1) But those in opposition may not see a distinction between Physician Assisted Suicide and Medical Aid in Dying.

Just because something is legal, depending on your beliefs, it won’t always be moral - from your point of view. It is the right and privilege of every adult to make up their own thoughts and opinions on these tough topics. Families, I urge you to start talking about these end of life issues that CAREGIVER Magazine writer, John Spivey, will be presenting over the next few months. We are always going to present these tough topics and ideas with journalistic integrity so you, the reader, can make up your own opinion on the subjects being presented.

My Daddy was given six days to six weeks to live. He died on the sixth day. His disease progressed so fast.

Please do not put off discussing the inevitable.

Your Trusted Medicare Source Complementary Consultation Wide Variety of Products and Services, that can: Increase Benefits I feel so blessed my parents were so proactive, they pre-planned their funerals. They had their financial matters in order and all the appropriate financial documents had been prepared. Can you imagine after all my sister and I had been through, with no sleep, in total emotional upheaval - going and picking out caskets or planning a funeral?

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Love and support one another. Begin talking about the tough topics most people avoid. Our views and perspectives on death and dying are very dependent upon whether you are on the outside looking in or on the inside looking out of the situation. But there is one thing we know for sure; no one can escape death.

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"On The Lighter Side"

Love is in the Air!

By Humorist and Novelist, Robbie Lamberson

Aww… love! It’s in the air, on every technical device, shelves are filled with boxes of candy tempting you to take to a sweetheart, and cards written by modern poets beg to be delivered to waiting loved ones. The color pink, in all its different hues, is everywhere, and in every shop window. I think the word for all this hullabaloo is commercialism.

For those of you in my age group, remember the movie Casablanca? The endearing words of the theme song have lasted through generations. “The world will always welcome

36 36

lovers as time goes by…” Now, that is a song that stays in your mind forever! I’ve watched that beloved movie at least fourteen times and each time I want to change the ending. I can’t help myself, I’m a hopeless romantic!

So let’s slow down and take a few moments to contemplate what love is and what it means to us individually. Looking at the big picture, the emotional response we call “love” keeps us from doing evil things to one another. True love is filled with feelings of compassion, devotion, the need to protect and serve, and an endless desire to please the object of our affection.

The Good Book tells us, “Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails.” If we could only inscribe that onto our hearts and into our consciousness what a world this would be!

We have developed such a throw-a-way society; it has become imbedded into our thinking, including our relationships. Fortunately there are always exceptions. I am blessed to know couples whose marriages lasted for over fifty, sixty, and even one that lasted over seventy years! I personally was married for fifty-three years before my husband died. My daughter, bless her sweet heart, has been married for a total of thirty-eight years (albeit that span is shared by all five of her husbands).

Thankfully, she has been married for over twenty years to my absolute favorite son-in-law. He’s a keeper!

Traditional marriages still are the most popular norm, but as a society we don’t seem to be able to hang onto those “loving feelings” forever, as previous generations did. I’ve tried to figure out why this is, and I’ve come up with a theory.

the person they have set their hopes on will make them happy (please…no one can continually make you gloriously happy)!

They believe that the flame of early passion will last a lifetime! Sorry, this makes me choke with laughter. All flames burn down to embers and ash.

Some choose an individual for the financial security that they want to become accustomed to! Come on, let’s get real! We all know job security is scarce and the world economy is fragile.

So here’s my take on it… when you love someone, truly love them, then it’s not about you. You want to be with them through the good and the bad times, pleasing them pleases you, as you willingly give your heart and accept them as they are. One of the biggest issues for a couple is the ability for each to be able to forgive! Believe me, there will be a colossal amount of times for forgiveness!

If you learn all these attributes and apply them to your relationship then here’s what you end up with; a partner whose love is enduring, who sees you with their heart and not their eyes, a partner you can depend on during the worst of times, a partner who fills you with such love for them, and contentment that belies description!

Expectations are far beyond “realistic” for many I’m very fortunate to have a wonderful loving who dive into marriage. They somehow believe that relationship with my partner. It warms my heart when

37

our eyes meet across the room, when we bump into one another trying to prepare a meal together, and especially when we share the quiet times while I’m working.

As I’m stuck facing my computer my loving partner quietly watches television in the same room. We miss each other’s company when we’re separated and best of all is when I am under the covers at night and feel the warmth of the body curled up against mine.

We are growing older together, contented together, and assured of each other’s total love and devotion.

My partner’s name is Sally. She’s a fourteen-year-old pug with bad teeth, bad eyesight, and who is totally deaf!

But I love her! Her chubby body wiggles with glee when I come into her view. So there is my understanding of how our hearts work, and mine’s a very happy heart inside this sweet love affair!

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In 2010 Dr. Kaufman returned to Oklahoma City to join the University of Oklahoma College of Medicine as Assistant Professor. During his tenure with the University he was part of a faculty practice with OU Physicians and attended on the wards, leading teams of students and residents in hospital-based care. Dr. Kaufman also worked as an Associate Program Director, recruiting and developing Internal Medicine residents. He also served as Medical Director for the Internal Medicine Residency clinic where he led and taught outpatient medicine to the next generation of students and residents. As a part of this effort, Dr. Kaufman and his team provided care for over 200 indigent patients a week. During his time with the University he gave Grand Rounds, trained and became the Chief Quality and Safety Officer for the Department of Medicine, participated in research and publications with the Sjogrens group at the Oklahoma Medical Research Foundation and was on the Governor’s Council of the American College of Physicians. Along with his professional activities, Dr. Kaufman volunteered his time as an attending physician at Good Shepherd Clinic in downtown Oklahoma City, which serves the poor and indigent.

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BAY LEAVES Increase Your Immunity

By Michael Edward Browning

Having long liked plucking the whole Laurus nobilis leaf (found in the Mediterranean on an evergreen tree of the family Lauraceae) out of stews and such before serving, I’ve just stocked up on the ground form of this stock spice for stocks, soups and so forth. Known for enhancing flavors without adding sodium, turns out that nutritionally speaking, it’s good enough to eat! Other varieties include the California, the Indian, the Indonesian, the West Indian and the Mexican bay leaf. According to research, bay leaves have strong antibacterial, antifungal and antimicrobial properties.

They also contain Calcium, Copper, Iron, Magnesium, Manganese, Phosphorous, Potassium, Selenium, Sodium and Zinc, all useful to cellular health. It can be utilized whole (crushed for topical uses or cooked & removed, don’t eat the leaf!), powdered, or as an essential oil and comes loaded with aromatic terpenes and polyphenols which protect and enhance both our respiratory and circulatory systems.

Essential oil of bay leaves can be mixed into a salve and applied to the chest (or added to boiling water steam) to help alleviate various respiratory conditions. Inhaling the vapor loosens up lung phlegm and eliminates dangerous bacteria (fungi and possibly viruses) that may be trapped in your respiratory tracts. On the cardio side, important organic compounds Caffeic acid and Rutin are both found in bay leaves. Rutin strengthens capillary walls in the heart, while caffeic acid can help to eliminate HDL (bad) cholesterol from the cardiovascular system.

Bay Leaf health benefits are impressive and numerous, protecting the body from cancer, inflammation, oxidative stress, and bacterial infections while speeding up wound healing and managing diabetes. They also have a very strong effect on the gastrointestinal system, optimizing our digestion processes and nutrient uptake with unique enzymes.

Supporting Evidence www.researchgate.net/publication/230434439 www.webmd.com/vitamins/ai/ingredientmono-685/bay-leaf spoonuniversity.com/lifestyle/6-common-spices-you-should-cook-with-if-youre-sick www.organicfacts.net/health-benefits/herbs-and-spices/bay-leaves.html www.verywellfit.com/the-benefits-of-bay-leaves-4587138 static1.squarespace.com/static/514b05c6e4b04d7440eb010a/t/5e38b8aa43b2a 6137cbd04cd/1580775594834/wen2007.pdf explorers.zizira.com/5-useful-diy-natural-health-remedies-bay-leaf/ pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12916069-analgesic-and-anti-inflammatory-activity-ofthe-leaf-essential-oil-of-laurus-nobilis-linn/

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BAY LEAF HAS BEEN USED FOR Anti-Inflammatory Activity Anti-Cancer, Antitumor Properties Anti-Fungal, Anti-Microbial, Anti-Ulcerogenic Boils (applied to the skin) Gas Reduction Causing Sweating Facilitating Efficient Digestion Hair Health, Dandruff and Hair Loss Helps in Improving Digestive Health Improved Insulin Receptor Function inducing Sleep Joint and Muscle Pain (Rheumatism) Protects Heart Health Reduces Anxiety, Depression & Stress Repelling Insects Stimulating Bile Treatment of Menstrual Problems Treat Respiratory Conditions Type 2 Diabetes (Diabetes Mellitus) SIDE-EFFECTS OF BAY LEAVES Because it aids sleep, bay leaf might also slow down the central nervous system (CNS) too aggressively when combined with anesthesia and other medications used during and after surgery.

For instance, don’t combine with narcotic drugs or sedatives (CNS depressants) and use should be stopped at least two weeks before any scheduled surgery.

With the new Corona on the horizon already eclipsing the impact of SARS 17 years ago, we can find encouragement from a post-pandemic study, “that specific abietane-type diterpenoids and lignoids exhibit strong anti-SARS-CoV effects.” This means that whether it’s a Novel Corona Pneumonia or regular ol’ cold and flu, phytocompounds and volatile essential oils are allies for us in the protection of our immune system. Surround yourself with these phyto-friends, inside and out.

Breathe in the essential oils and eat plenty of nutrient-rich, fresh foods with supportive spices.

Of course, proper hygiene practices are always useful in limiting the spread of germs. So wash well! And indulge your senses in some good ol’ down home cooking. Putting these cold weather spices we’ve been discussing into your dishes will keep your belly heated with delight. You may likely discover that your preparation tastes - and you feel - better than many heavily processed, ready to serve alternatives.

If home cooking just ain’t your thing, it’s still a very good time to load up our diets with minerals, vitamins, phytonutrients & nutriceuticals for immune system bolstering as we finish out this winter. Do it for yourself, and for those you love.

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cannacian

annacian's o r n e r

[ka-nish-uh n] noun A phytocannabinoid caregiver having direct contact with - and responsibility for - medical patients; clinicians and counselors who are trained in the human endocannabinoid system and dispensing cannabis therapy.

By Michael Edward Browning

Coming From The Heart It was a little over three years ago when I first coined and defined the term “Cannacian”. It originally appeared in the Endocannabinoid System (ECS) primer, Time For The Talk: Talking to Your Doctor Or Patient About Medical Cannabis, published in conjunction with an international Plant A Seed for Cannabis Education Tour (that included Tulsa and OKC).

In June of 2018, at the Mid-America Medical Cannabis Conference & Expo (held at the OK State Fairgrounds just days before the historic vote for SQ788) I spoke on “Conversing Under the Loving Influence” of cannabis, how it can assist in opening the lines of communication. My premise on that day was to illustrate the honest conditions presented when we inhale (or otherwise imbibe) together.

How the sharing of this medicinal marvel of nature opens our minds and hearts to an empathetic way of seeing.

For me, the cannabis community has always been a benevolent, accepting circle of sharing. Stepping into the circle encompasses a social greeting ritual not unlike the meaning behind greetings “Aloha” or “Namaste” are to their respective cultures. In canna culture, “The Circle” is where we have come together with open hearts - in order to see the hearts of others. To see their goodness. To see their humanity, humanely. At the very least, it provides a 42

patch of common ground, an equal footing to relate with others in a courteous setting of tolerance.

Many of the people who can benefit most from cannabis therapy - seniors - have the most entrenched viewpoints. And they are suffering.

Once they can get past the notion that they will have to “smoke pot” to achieve useful effect, they do tend to relax a bit.

As they are exposed to capsules, salves and syrup formats, familiar therapeutic delivery systems, they begin to see cannabis in a far less critical light.

Those who live closer to the earth, with knowledge of Naturopathic, Tribal, Ayurvedic or Traditional Chinese Medicine, will already know that treatment alternatives exist, have existed for eons within the herbal realm (where from a multi-layered, systemic, holistic perspective, cannabis just happens to rule, like garlic and black pepper).

Gaining knowledge and insights as you walk your healing path, you learn of the truly unique place cannabis has held in the pharmacopeia of societies for centuries. The endocrine assisting effects of cannabis in regulating all bodily systems

towards the ideal condition of homeostasis are unparalleled. Stick with your own understanding, as scientific method proves out all the anecdotal evidence pointing to “pot” as the panacea plant for a staggering assortment of modern maladies (with zero fatalities, entirely non-toxic) and virtually no side effects.

Unless one counts feelings of euphoria. Societally, that’s a side effect many of us can deal with. Or we’re learning to. Kind of feels like when we have

“fallen in love” with our sweetheart. Floaty. Also, if you have a serious, chronic condition, many times just the pain relief itself can feel euphoric.

Ya gotta love pain relief, right?

Everyone knows someone with aches, pains or more serious health issues. In very many cases, cannabis embodies a lower-cost, alternative (or complimentary) approach to other prescribed therapies. When one learns they can get their “pain

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pills” in a delicious treat, their initial resistance often relaxes. These days, there are many low-sugar options to chew on too, just remember when you graduate to eating THC to start low (dose, 5mg) and go slow. Also, capsules of cannabis oil are often a very easy way for folks familiar with more traditional pharmaceutical methods to adjust to cannabis therapy.

AUNTIES, GRANDMAS, MOTHERS & FATHERS

It’s all about working together.

Not only is it a new century, people, it’s a new millennium! The science about whole plant cannabis therapy, inclusive of all the beneficial phytocannabinoids and phytocompounds, triterpinoids, flavinoids and protective plant alkaloids is piling up to prove what has been successfully put into play medicinally for centuries. Just not in the past century so much.

You don’t have to become a cannacian to see why and you don’t have to smoke it to benefit. Get with Everyone can benefit from the hug of cannabis someone you trust and find a delivery method therapy, whether breathed thru the lungs or that suits you. When the time is right, sit with a absorbed thru the skin or intestine and blood friend and experience the relaxing effect on your stream, it steers us toward homeostasis. It increases breathing, joints and muscles. Feel your lungs and our immunity. There is so much value inherent heart expand with vasodilation, lowering your blood in this amazing gift of health support known as pressure, increasing your oxygen uptake, as your cannabis sativa. Only through proper education whole being eases away from dis-ease. It’s a healing will we change the perception that was created and hug you can self administer. perpetuated back in the 1900s.

That thought programming is so “last century”!

We now know, “Interrelations between the endocannabinoid system and the activity of the endocrine system may be a therapeutic target for a number of drugs that have been proved effective in the treatment of infertility, obesity, diabetes, and even prevention of diseases associated with the cardiovascular system.”

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Cannacian’s Corner Citations: www.researchgate.net/publication/330260128_Russo_The_case_ for_the_entourage_effect_and_conventional_breeding_of_clinical_ cannabis_No_strain_no_gain_Front_Plant_Sci_2019 B. Lutz, G. Marsicano, et al. ” Endocannabinoid role in synaptic plasticity and learning” Encyclopedia of Neuroscience 2009, Pages 963– 975 https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30618031-the-effects-ofcannabinoids-on-the-endocrine-system/

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Remember When?

Remember When romance meant soft lights, soft

music, tender song lyrics, and a date? Way back in the late ‘60s and early ‘70s I remember having dates! The guy would come to your home, knock on the door and escort you to the car. It actually happened! Ah, sweet memories.

“My HEART is Yours” “Be My Valentine”

Remember When receiving a Hallmark card

was an event? Getting a Hallmark card from your boyfriend/husband or girlfriend/wife for Valentine’s Day meant you truly were significant to that person. Choosing that “special” card could take hours! I had to read them all and then agonize over selecting just one!

Remember When Valentine’s Day school dances

were a sea of red and white formals? Even the guys got into the mood with red or white tuxedos, shirts, and shoes?

Remember When you actually touched and held your partner when you danced?

“Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you!”

Remember When you could understand the lyrics

of “our song” between you and your sweetheart and the words had deep meaning? No, not, “Itsy, Bitsy, Teenie, Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini.”

I was thinking more like: “It’s Got To Be Love”; “Embraceable You”; “At Last”; “The Way You Look Tonight”; “I Will Always Love You”; “When a Man Loves a Woman”; “Unforgettable”; or “Love Me As Though There Is No Tomorrow”.

Remember When a man would bring real flowers

for that special someone? Remember when the 46

Be My Valentine!

By Lisa Sydnor

best restaurants had a piano bar or trio playing music and a small, intimate dance floor?

Remember When “going out” was an event?

“A heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others.” ~ L. Frank Baum

Remember When you actually DRESSED to go out to

dinner? No jeans, shorts, tank tops or tennis shoes.

For the ladies, it meant your best dress, pearls, and hose (with a seam up the back!), and high heels. For the men it was slacks with a knife crease, starched button-down shirt, sport coat or suit jacket and spitshined shoes!

Remember When you made a mail box for your

Valentine’s Day cards from classmates? Remember when we made our own Valentine’s? There was no giving store bought stuff to the important people in your life.

Remember When you had your first date?

Remember When you had your first kiss?

Remember When you kept treasures of your first date?

Or, first dance? Or, your first special Valentine?

I Remember When I danced with my Dad in the dining room and he taught me how to waltz, two-step and jitter-bug. Then I tried to teach him the Twist! There was a lot of laughter in the house that night.

May you remember to keep laughter, and love, in your family’s house every night.

“Where there is love, there is life.” ~ Lisa Sydnor

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