ASK Lisa

By Lisa Sydnor

The staff of CAREGIVER Magazine is committed to The staff of CAREGIVER Magazine is committed to connecting connecting those in need with services and programs. those in need with services and programs. If you have a question or you are looking for services, call 405-314-7840 or email If you have a question, call 405-314-7840 l.sydnor@betterwithageok.com; include your name and phone or email l.sydnor@betterwithageok.com Include number in the message. We can help you find resources such as 211; NewView Oklahoma; Will Rogers Senior Center; a home your name and phone number in the message. health care agency; a place to live, fraud prevention, etc.

REQUESTS FOR HELP

The old adage “I don’t know everything but I know someone who does,” certainly has been proven true again and again in this past month. CAREGIVER Magazine’s, ASKLisa column, offers a place to start by sharing as much information as we have. Our mission is to provide options and support to families caring for loved ones with declining health, we are continually researching agencies and businesses who provide programs and services to help your specific caregiving situation.

QUESTION: Is there anyone who will accept donated household items and distribute them to individuals or to non-profits or agencies that can store and give to individuals as needs arise? We want to donate to an organization that does not sell the items, as many charities do.

ANSWER: There are several organizations/agencies/ companies that can help on various levels. Some will come in and sort, pack and dispose of the household items; other companies only remove furniture and appliances and deliver to specified locations; others will pick up and give to anyone with a verified need. Many organizations accept donations but they do not “give” to those in need. Items accepted are then sold.

QUESTION: My brother died in December 2020. I need to have his home cleaned and prepped for selling. Can you refer someone who will do a good job, do it right, and is available quickly? Some companies are giving a date for a quote 4-6 weeks out. I want – NO NEED –to get the house ready to list on the market.

ANSWER: We can provide some referrals; however, you must do your research and make your own decision. Companies are usually more expensive, but they are also fully insured. An independent contractor might be available immediately; however, we recommend you check references and insurance.

QUESTION: My friend was in the hospital, he asked me to sign a Power of Attorney (POA) giving me the responsibility to make medical and financial decisions for him. What do I need to do?

ANSWER: Be sure you understand what a POA is and your obligations and responsibilities. Does your friend have any relatives? Are you willing to make life decisions for your friend? Are you getting a medical power of attorney or financial power of attorney? Being a POA is a serious responsibility. As their friend, if their family surfaces along the way you may have a bumpier journey than when you first legally took on the task. As their friend being both the medical and financial POA could put you in a precarious situation. Also, know that a POA is only valid while your friend is alive. Talk to an attorney or Legal Aid of Oklahoma or the Office of the Oklahoma Attorney General to ensure you understand all the legal obligations you are assuming.

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QUESTION: A distraught, discouraged husband was trying to find help as he dealt with his wife’s declining mental state. She is in her early 70s, suffering severe memory loss, heart-related issues and her personality is changing. Basically, a multiplicity of life-changing issues has left him at a total loss, feeling that he had no options or help. Until he reached out to ASKLisa he had no idea there was help on multiple levels; home health care; support groups; classes on dementia/Alzheimer’s; counseling for himself as he travels this long, lonely road; attorneys who specialize in elder law; respite care; and the list goes on. He felt alone and that no one could understand what they were going through. His wife knows things aren’t right and that she is not functioning at full capacity, but those moments are fewer and fewer. To complicate matters he must travel for his

ANSWER: This situation is very complex; the issue of his travel was time-sensitive and required immediate action. Other concerns, while just as important, did not require immediate decisions, allowing time for research and long-term plans. The list of referrals for this husband is extensive; however, at the top of the list was identifying skilled in-home 24/7 care, learning the stages of memory loss and what to expect; support groups; housekeeping; and, review of all insurances. Several times the conversation re-enforced; “It is not selfish to take care of you. Self-care is the opposite of selfish.”

Help us compile a list of need-specific resources, contact Lisa Sydnor at 405-314-7840. Listed are agencies that may help or refer you to the appropriate agencies. The advertisers within the pages of CAREGIVER Magazine are businesses whose sole objective is to assist families in caring for their loved ones, call and talk to them. If you are overwhelmed and can no longer manage the situation. Ask them all your questions and see how they can help improve the quality of life of everyone involved:

Sunbeam Family Services; 405-528-7721 Nana’s Closet; Leela Baker: 405-735-7599; nanascloset@ yahoo.com OKCares; 405-271-271; info@okcares.org Legal Aid of Oklahoma; 405-297-3190 Oklahoma Office of Attorney General; 405-521-3921

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