Tips for Funeral Service Etiquette

Expert Contributor

What to do during a difficult time that helps the grieving focus on their family

by Rob D'Anjolell, Jr., F.D., of D'Anjolell Memorial Homes

When we lose a loved one, or a close family member or friend goes through the loss of someone close to them, it is important to participate in the celebration and commemoration of that person’s life. The following tips outline some basic etiquette to follow when attending a funeral service.

What to Say?

When it comes to sharing words with the grieving, less is often more. It can be difficult to find the right words to say when one has lost a loved one. When speaking to the deceased’s relatives, be sure to focus on a fond memory or story. Try to avoid phrases such as “I am sorry for your loss,” or “They are in a better place now.” Instead, focus on the positives and express your support for them. Sometimes just being present and understanding can speak louder than a long-winded story.

What to Wear?

It does not have to be black; any dark color semi-formal attire is suitable. Be conservative. It’s polite to wear neutral colors to avoid possibly offending the grieving family.

Where Should I Sit?

The first couple of rows are reserved for immediate family. You can fill in behind those rows. If you arrive late and the service has begun, it is polite to sit in the back rows to not disturb others mourning. If at a cemetery, there will most likely be a row of chairs. Those are reserved for immediate family.

What Not to Do?

It is important to be respectful. Joking, talking and using your phone during the service is impolite. You should refrain from taking photos at the service or at the gravesite and wait until all the formal services have completed.

It can be difficult to attend a funeral service. The loss of a loved one or friend results in many heavy hearts and conversations. Following these tips will help you know what to do during a difficult time and allow the grieving to focus on their family and appreciate the funeral service.

D’ANJOLELL Memorial Homes

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