St Catherine's Hospice Crawley Bereavement Booklet by bereavementadvice

Registering a Death

You may have already begun the process of registering a death, however if you have not the below section may be helpful.

After a person dies, a doctor who attended the person during their lifetime must complete a medical certificate of cause of death. This may be the person’s GP or a hospice doctor. If the person died at St Catherine’s Hospice the medical and administrative teams will commence the necessary paperwork. This will be completed and sent to the Medical Examiner the next working day.

PLEASE DO NOT CONTACT THE REGISTRAR AT THIS STAGE TO MAKE AN APPOINTMENT TO REGISTER THE PERSON’S DEATH.

The Medical Examiner is a senior doctor based at a local hospital. They will provide an independent scrutiny of the proposed cause of death on the medical certificate. This may involve a proportionate review of the person’s medical records and/or a discussion with the doctor. The Medical Examiner will text to give the nominated next of kin a date when they will telephone to discuss the person’s cause of death and care provided, the call will usually take seven to ten working days. During the call they will discuss the cause of death given on the medical certificate, explain the medical terms used and give you an opportunity to ask questions about this. They will also ask you about the care received and give you the opportunity to provide any feedback or concerns you wish to share.

More information about the medical examiner is available here: www.england.nhs.uk/patient-safety/patient-safety-insight/nationalmedical-examiner-system/#medical-examiners

Once this review has taken place and the doctor and medical examiner have agreed the cause of death, the medical certificate will be sent electronically to the Office of the Registrar for births, deaths and marriages in the area in which the person died. You then have five working days to contact the Registrar’s Office to make an in-person appointment to collect the death certificate and any copies that you may need.

You will receive the death certificate at the Registrars appointment.

The charge for the death certificates is £12.50 (as of January 2026) for each copy supplied either on the day or requested later.

It is sometimes necessary when a person dies to notify the Coroner of this fact. This is usually when the cause of death is unknown and/or if the death may have been related to trauma (e.g. after a serious fall) and/or if it may have been related to the occupation of the person who died (e.g. a mesothelioma) and/or if the person had had recent surgery. If a referral to the Coroner is required, you will be advised of this, the reasons why and what to expect. More information is available here: www.gov.uk/after-a-death/when-a-death-is-reported-to-a-coroner

To find out the Registrar for your area and how to contact them, go to www.gov.uk/registrar-offices. In Sussex you can also call 01243 642122. You can also use an online booking system to make an appointment to visit the Registrar: West Sussex: www.westsussex.gov.uk/registration or in Surrey: www.surreycc.gov.uk/ birth-death-and-ceremonies/death/registration-appointment

Before the Registrar can take any information from you, they must see the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death. If possible, you should take the following documents or have them to hand: NHS number, birth certificate, driving licence, council tax bill, marriage, or civil partnership certificate (if applicable), National Insurance number, passport, proof of address.

You will need to provide the Registrar with the following information: date and place of death, their address, their full names including maiden or former names, where and when they were born (town and country is sufficient), their occupation, details of wife, husband or civil partner and if they were receiving government pension or other benefits.

Tell Us Once

‘Tell Us Once’ is a service that reports a death to most government organisations in one go, including the Department for Work and Pensions, HMRC, local council, Passport Office, DVLA and some public sector pension schemes.

The Registrar will provide contact details for Tell Us Once or you can go straight to the website to start the process: www.gov.uk/after-a-death/ organisations-you-need-to-contact-and-tell-us-once

Life Ledger offer a free online service to help close, freeze or transfer accounts after death. For more information visit: www.lifeledger.com

Stopping Junk Mail to the recently deceased

If someone you know has died, the amount of unwanted marketing post being sent to them can be greatly reduced which helps to stop painful daily reminders.

By registering with the free service www.stopmail.co.uk the names and addresses of the deceased are removed from mailing lists, stopping most advertising mail within as little as six weeks. If you cannot access the internet you can call 0333 006 8114, where you will be asked for very simple information that will take only a few minutes to complete. Alternatively, ask the bereavement team for a leaflet that can be returned in the post.

This free of charge service provided by the Bereavement Support Network will actively reduce the unwanted marketing mail but also can help reduce the likelihood of identity theft following the death of someone close. The information is not used for any other purpose and you only have to complete this once. Additionally to Stop Mail a comparable service can also be accessed from the Bereavement Register or Deceased Preference Service if you would prefer to use them.

The Funeral

Funeral services can be arranged by anyone. You can do it yourself, but the simplest and most efficient way is to engage the services of a funeral director. If the person died at St Catherine’s Hospice, you will need to formally instruct the funeral director before the person that died can be taken into their care. Please also inform St Catherine’s Hospice at your earliest convenience.

The following websites and services can give you advice and information about arranging a funeral. Please be aware that St Catherine’s is not responsible for the advice or services these groups may provide, however we hope they are a useful starting point:

Good Funeral Guide: www.goodfuneralguide.co.uk/choosing-a-funeral-director/

Citizens Advice: www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/death-and-wills/arranging-a-funeral 0800 144 8848

Quaker Social Action Group: quakersocialaction.org.uk/we-can-help/helping-funerals/ down-earth 020 8983 5055

Funeralmap.co.uk www.funeralmap.co.uk 0330 223 0279

Funeral costs

Normally funeral directors will ask for deposits to cover their disbursements (fees paid to other agencies such as the crematorium, cemetery, church, minister) and will then give you an itemised invoice two to four weeks after the funeral. Many people get itemised quotes from a few different funeral directors to compare.

Check to see if the person had made plans to pay for their own funeral. There may be funds available through money they have left behind, or through a pension or a pre-paid funeral plan. Although money held in their own account will be frozen, most banks and building societies will release funds to pay for a funeral to the Executor of the Will or next of kin.

Funeral donations

Many people feel that a funeral collection for St Catherine’s is a fitting way of paying tribute to the person who has died.

If you would like to organise funeral donations to our hospice in lieu of flowers, there are various ways – both online and offline – in which you can do this. Our Fundraising Team can support you with this or you can discuss it with your funeral director. Some of the options include:

● An online tribute page

● A link to our website to donate in memory on the order of service

● In memory donation envelopes

● Collection tins or buckets

Thank you for considering funeral donations to St Catherine’s. We’re grateful for all donations, and those in memory of someone who we have cared for are particularly special to us.

You can contact our Fundraising Team about this on 01293 447361 or at remembering@stch.org.uk.

What is Grief and How Might I Feel?

Grief is sadly something which almost all of us will encounter in our lifetime. When someone close to us dies, grief is the painful but natural reaction to our loss. Grief is universal but everyone’s experience of it is unique. Grief can affect you emotionally, physically, and mentally. Even if you know that someone is going to die, it can still come as a shock when it happens and nothing quite prepares you for it. For some, it may come in waves of different emotions from sadness to shock, to anger or numbness. You may experience any number of different emotions including disbelief, relief, tearfulness, restlessness or guilt. Whereas others may feel like they have hit a wall and feel nothing, or that all the emotions are coming at them at once and it may be difficult to distinguish how they are feeling.

It will take time to come to terms with what has happened, and it is important to allow space for your emotions. Your experience is very personal and all the feelings you have are valid. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. You may find it difficult to concentrate, and your mind may race between differing reactions and emotions. You can lose interest in things that previously gave you pleasure, and you may also find that you have lighter moments in between the sadness which can feel confusing. These are all normal and natural reactions.

Bereavement can also affect you physically. You may find it difficult to sleep, rest and relax, or feel tired all the time. It is very common to feel tense and to not have much of an appetite. Again, these physical reactions are all very natural. You are in a period of big change in your life, and you will need time to process and adjust.

Things That May Help

There are things that you can do to help yourself at this time:

● Talk with your family and close friends about how you are feeling. It may not be easy but opening up to someone can be a relief. You may wish to start with writing a letter or sending a text.

● Don’t feel you have to do everything yourself – you can ask others for help. People will genuinely want to support you, so do take up offers of help.

● Take time to adjust and reflect before you make any major decisions or changes.

● Try to rest – even if you find you can’t sleep, resting will help you recharge your mind and body.

● Try to eat and drink regularly even if you don’t have much of an appetite.

● Finally, give yourself time – don’t feel you have to ‘get over’ your loss quickly, but take each day at your own pace. Many people prefer the term ‘living with’ our loss.

Some people feel able to talk to family, friends, neighbours, or work colleagues. If this is not enough, you might find it helpful to talk to someone in confidence outside of these groups.

St Catherine’s Wellbeing Service and Support

How the Wellbeing Team can help you

As mentioned above, grief is a natural and normal process in reaction to the love and loss we feel after someone close to us has died. Not everyone who is experiencing grief or loss will need external support and many people draw on the support of family and friends, but for those that need more support, please see below for some of the support available to you.

The Wellbeing Team can support in bereavement in many ways including: counselling, spiritual care, social work, welfare advice, and carer support. You may also want to explore other services providing bereavement support local to you. You may have already received a letter with some details about local and national services available for you to explore.

We can offer support following the death of someone who was under the care of St Catherine’s for up to five years following their death.

Bereavement Groups

Talking about your loss and emotions can be a helpful way to cope for many people. If you find it challenging to open up to those close to you, St Catherine’s offers a variety of bereavement support groups. This includes our ‘Walk and Talk’ groups STEPS, for those who prefer a more active setting, Understanding Grief, a group for individuals who have experienced a loss within the last three to nine months and our monthly Drop-in Bereavement Group for those bereaved between six to 18 months. Additionally, we offer Parents Remembering Together – a bereavement group for parents who have lost an adult child. These groups provide a supportive environment where you can connect with others who have experienced loss.

121 Counselling

Bereavement is an intense and deeply distressing experience, but it is also a natural part of life that each of us will face. With support from family, friends and the community, most people, with time, find a way to live with their loss. However, for some people, grief can be complicated, traumatic, or prolonged which may disrupt their ability to cope with day-to-day living. For this type of ‘complex grief’, St Catherine’s has trained Bereavement Counsellors to support those who might need therapeutic intervention.

Bereavement Events

St Catherine’s organises events throughout the year that invite you to remember, celebrate and reflect upon the lives of people who have died. Bereaved families, friends and carers are warmly invited to attend.

You can telephone us on 01293 447333 and ask us about our In Memory events such as Time to Remember and Tree of Light

Giving in Memory

We rely on the generosity of our community to allow us to provide our expert care. Honouring someone who has died can bring comfort and is a practical way of supporting St Catherine’s.

In addition to a funeral collection, there are other ways you can support our work in loving memory of someone special – from donating to St Catherine’s, ordering one of our personalised copper memory leaves, or taking on a challenge in their name.

Some people, after experiencing St Catherine’s care, choose to remember the hospice in their Will. For them, it can be a meaningful way to honour the care their loved one received and to help ensure the same support is available for others in the future. This is a very personal decision and there is no obligation. Our care is given freely, regardless of whether someone chooses to donate now or in the future. If you already have a Will, you may be able to make a simple update. We recommend seeking independent legal advice.

To find out more, please visit our website at www.stch.org.uk/how-you-canhelp, or email remembering@stch.org.uk or call 01293 447361.

How to Contact Us

To find out more about any of our bereavement services, please contact the Wellbeing Team by calling 01293 447333, 8am to 4pm Monday to Friday. If we are unable to answer your call, please leave a message and a member of the team will get back to you as soon as possible. Alternatively, you can email us at stch.wellbeing@nhs.net

Reference: St. Catherine’s Hospice Bereavement Booklet

Publication Date: March 2026

Review Date: March 2028

The Hospice would like to thank RNS Publications for publishing this information and the following pages contain some features from services o ering their help at this time.

Whilst the Hospice is grateful of their support it does not endorse or recommend any of the services that they provide.

Please note, whilst information is correct at the time of publication, this may be subject to future change.

STOPPING JUNK MAIL

This publication has been jointly developed between ourselves and the hospice. We hope that it has been or will be of help at this time and we welcome any comments or suggestions that you may have.

Please contact us either by phone, email or by post.

Probate Solutions for cars

The death of a family member can be a very difficult and traumatic experience and if you are trying to sell a vehicle that belonged to a deceased family member or friend you currently have limited options.

Auto Matters makes things very simple without you having to leave your home.

The vehicle’s current MOT may have expired or you do not have any insurance for the vehicle so you are unable to drive the vehicle to a garage. You may also have trouble selling the vehicle as the registration document (V5) is still in the deceased person’s name. You may not wish to have private purchasers at your premises at this time. The vehicle may not start/drive or the vehicle could be a long way from your current location.

Our free service helps to overcome all of these problems. We will provide payment to yourself, an executor or a solicitor before we move the vehicle.

No Log Book (V5)? No Problem