Following the death of a loved one
Information for families, friends and carers
Courage You can shed tears that they have gone, Or you can smile because they have lived. You can close your eyes and pray that they’ll come back, Or you can open your eyes and see they’ve left. Your heart can be empty because they can’t be seen or heard, Or you can be full of the love you shared. You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday, Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday. You can remember them and only that they’ve gone, Or you can cherish their memory and let it live on. You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back, Or you can do what they’d want, smile, open your eyes, love and go on. Adapted from “He Is Gone” by David Harkins
CONTENTS
1................................................................................................................ Introduction 2............................................................. Hospice Information and Support 3.........................................Medical Examiner and registering a death 4............................................................................. Who can register a death? 5............................................................................................................... Tell Us Once 6.......................................................................Stopping unwanted junk mail 7.................................................... If the death is referred to the Coroner 8......................................................................................... Arranging the funeral 9......................................................................................... Paying for the funeral 10......................................................Helpful advice during bereavement 11...................................................................................................Useful addresses
INTRODUCTION We are very sorry for your loss and extend our heartfelt condolences to you and your family. If there is anything we can do to help during this difficult time, please don’t hesitate to contact Lindsey Lodge Hospice. If you wish to speak to someone, please call 01724 270835 and ask for a member of the nursing team.
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HOSPICE INFORMATION AND SUPPORT Practical Advice Our Hospice team will do their best to provide practical help and advice. While we may not have all the answers, we will guide you to the right people who can support you, such as: • • • • • •
Funeral Directors Family Doctors (GPs) Solicitors Welfare Officers Personnel Departments Ministers of Religion
Support and Comfort You may find it helpful to talk with someone outside your immediate family, especially those who have been through similar experiences. Our Family Support Team is here to listen and care. If visiting the Hospice feels too difficult initially, support can also be offered over the phone. We will contact you following your bereavement to check how you are and whether further support would be helpful. Each year, we hold a Light up a Life service to remember loved ones who were known to the Hospice.
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THE MEDICAL EXAMINER AND REGISTERING A DEATH When Someone Dies at Lindsey Lodge Hospice •
The Medical Examiner Office is informed of the death by the Hospice doctor.
•
The death is reviewed by the Medical Examiner, a senior doctor who ensures the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (MCCD) is accurate and decides whether there should be a further investigation by the Coroner.
•
You will be contacted by the Medical Examiners Office to: – – – – –
Confirm the cause of death Discuss care received Answer any questions or concerns Explain the MCCD wording Provide instructions for registration
•
The certificate is sent directly to the Registrar and they will explain to you what you need to do.
•
You must register the death within five days of contact from the Medical Examiner.
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WHO CAN REGISTER A DEATH? Regulations state that only certain people can register a death with the registrar of births, marriages and deaths: •
A relative of the deceased who was present at the time of death
•
A relative of the deceased in attendance during the last illness
•
A relative of the deceased residing in the same local district
•
A person present, i.e. Matron or Officer in charge of nursing home or rest home, provided they knew of the illness before death
•
The occupier of a care facility
•
The person arranging the funeral
What You’ll Need To Take: •
The deceased’s birth and marriage certificates (if available)
Information You’ll Need To Know: •
Full name and address of the deceased (and maiden name, if applicable)
•
Their date and place of birth
•
Occupation of the deceased
•
The name, date of birth and occupation of spouse if applicable
•
If married more than once, the names of former spouses 4
The Registrar Will Provide: •
Green Form (Certificate for Burial or Cremation) – required by the Funeral Director
•
Form BD8 – for the Department for Work and Pensions
•
Full Death Certificates (available to purchase for legal/ financial needs)
Registrar Office: Carlton St, Scunthorpe DN15 6TX v 01724 298555
TELL US ONCE This free government service informs relevant departments (e.g. DWP, DVLA, HMRC) after a death is registered. It takes about 40 minutes and can be accessed at the time of registration or later via your local Link Office. Who You May Need To Inform: •
Deceased’s employer
•
Bank/building society – mortgages, accounts
•
Insurance companies - policies
•
Social services – care support
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STOPPING UNWANTED JUNK MAIL If someone you know has died, the amount of unwanted marketing post being sent to them can be greatly reduced which helps to stop painful daily reminders. By registering with the free service www.stopmail.co.uk the names and addresses of the deceased are removed from mailing lists, stopping most advertising mail within as little as six weeks. This free of charge service provided by the Bereavement Support Network will not only actively reduce the unwanted marketing mail, but can also help reduce the likelihood of identity theft following the death of someone close. The information is not used for any other purpose and you only have to complete this once. • •
Register at ? www.stopmail.co.uk Or call v 0333 006 8114
Other similar services include: • •
The Bereavement Register Deceased Preference Service
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IF THE DEATH IS REFERRED TO THE CORONER Deaths may be referred to a Coroner if they are sudden, unexpected, or due to certain conditions. This may delay the issue of the MCCD. In rare cases, an inquest is required to determine the cause of death. The Coroner will issue an interim death certificate to manage the estate until the inquest concludes. Coroner’s Office: v 01472 324020 Staff at the Hospice can help explain this process.
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ARRANGING THE FUNERAL If the person has died at the Hospice, we can contact your chosen Funeral Director. You Can Decide: • • •
Where the body rests (home or funeral home) The type of funeral service (religious or non-religious) Whether burial or cremation is preferred
The Funeral Director will help guide you through these decisions and any special requests.
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PAYING FOR THE FUNERAL •
You are responsible for the funeral costs.
•
Contact several Funeral Directors to compare services and request quotes.
•
Costs can usually be recovered from the deceased’s estate.
•
Banks are legally required to release funds to cover funeral costs.
Financial Help May Be Available Depending on circumstances, assistance may be possible: •
Bereavement Service: v 0800 731 0469
•
Your local Jobcentre Plus or Funeral Director can advise you.
•
Bereavement Forecast Department: v 0800 731 0175
Useful Resource: ? www.gov.uk Funeral Industry Contacts: National Association of Funeral Directors v 0121 711 1343 ? www.nafd.org.uk National Society of Allied and Independent Funeral Directors v 0345 230 6777 ? www.saif.org.uk 9
HELPFUL ADVICE DURING BEREAVEMENT Practical Do’s and Don’ts Do: •
Express your feelings openly
•
Talk to someone you trust
•
Contact voluntary support groups or the Hospice
•
Make realistic plans for the future (take your time)
•
Seek medical support if feeling unwell
Don’t: •
Hide your feelings
•
Make major life decisions too soon
•
Neglect your health
•
Enter into financial or legal arrangements you don’t fully understand
•
Turn to drugs, smoking, or alcohol to cope
•
Let others rush you into sorting belongings or moving on
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If you have any further questions, need support, or simply want someone to talk to, please reach out to our Hospice team. We are here to support you every step of the way.
USEFUL ADDRESSES: Bereavement Support Network v 0333 240 0360 | ? www.bereavementsupport.co.uk Citizens Advice Carlton St, Scunthorpe DN15 6TX v 01724 870941 | ? www.citizensadvice.org.uk Cruse Bereavement 105-107 Frodingham Road DN15 7JT v 01724 628000 | ? www.cruse.org.uk Samaritans 2 Lindum St, Scunthorpe DN15 6QU v 0330 094 5717 or 116 123 | ? www.samaritans.org WAY Widowed & Young Advantage House, Stowe Court, Stowe Street, Lichfield WS13 6AQ v 0300 201 0051 | ? www.widowedandyoung.org.uk
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Support From Others Don’t tell me that you understand Don’t tell me that you understand. Don’t tell me that you know. Don’t tell me that I will survive, How I will surely grow. Don’t come at me with answers, That can only come from me. Don’t tell me how my grief will pass, That I will soon be free. Accept me in my ups and downs. I need someone to share. Just hold my hand and let me cry, To show me that you care.
Anon
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NOTES ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ......................................................................................................................................................................................
Reference: Lindsey Lodge Hospice & Healthcare Publication Date: July 2026 Review Date: July 2028
The Hospice would like to thank RNS Publications for publishing this information and the following pages contain some features from services offering their help at this time. Whilst the Hospice is grateful of their support it does not endorse or recommend any of the services that they provide. Please note, whilst information is correct at the time of publication, this may be subject to future change.
STOPPING JUNK MAIL If someone you know has died, we can reduce the amount of unwanted marketing post being sent to them, stopping painful daily reminders. By registering with our free service, the names and addresses of the deceased are removed from mailing lists, stopping most advertising mail within as little as six weeks.
Call: 0333 006 8114 OR
Visit our website: www.stopmail.co.uk bereavement support network stop mail
here to help
Calls are charged at standard landline rates. Calls from mobiles are included in inclusive call packages. © Bereavement Support Network Ltd 2026
Do you need help with
Probate? You may need help, support or advice on what to do when someone dies in relation to probate. It may not always appear obvious if it will be required.
Call: 0333 240 0360 We offer free guidance on the legal and financial aspects of bereavement including your responsibilities and whether probate is required. You may need to establish whether a property is held in joint names or tenants in common, we can perform a simple check at no cost to establish the title deeds. This service is provided by
bereavement support network here to help
Connecting you with managed and D.I.Y. Probate Solutions Calls are charged at standard landline rates. Calls from mobiles are included in inclusive call packages.
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This publication has been jointly developed between ourselves and the hospice. We hope that it has been or will be of help at this time and we welcome any comments or suggestions that you may have. Please contact us either by phone, email or by post.
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