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A peer led group for females age 18+ who, as female children, were sexually abused by a member of their immediate/extended family
CIS’ters was set up in September 1995 –
We are celebrating 30 years this year.
Standing for Childhood Incest Survivors, CIS’ters has, for 30 years, continued to support survivors from within our constitutional ethos, providing a confidential space for adult females, empowering those affected and raising public awareness.
As with most charities, demand exceeds the ability to deliver, and during CIS’ters’ formation a decision was made to limit our focus of support to that which was known to us from lived experience. That is, from being biological females age 18+ who, as children, had been sexually abused by a member of their immediate or extended family.
The majority of services within the specialist sexual violence and abuse sector have been set up by those with lived experience. While initially focussed on the needs of females, many have gradually opened up services to include males and some now specialise for only male victims. Of course, all victims of sexual crimes during childhood or adulthood (and for some, both) are worthy of help, and no group is more important than the other.
There is no single model of support or care – only that which is given from the heart - and also within the key operational standards published by the three national umbrella organisations. The Survivors Trust (TST), Rape Crisis England and Wales (RCE&W) and The Male Survivors Partnership (MSP). CIS’ters is an organisational member of TST and, being one of the 5 foundation Members, help set it up in 2000. Gillian (our Founder) has been a past Chair and Co-Chair of TST and was the first National Development Manager for TST, prior to retiring 15 years ago and becoming a full-time volunteer for CIS’ters.
Although our constitutional focus appears limited we continue, as we have from beginning, to respond with sensitivity and compassion to all those who contact us. With the extensive network facilitated by TST, RCE&W and MSP we are able to signpost anyone to their closest specialist service, and also highlight where unique needs can be provided for, such as learning disability, non-English speakers, domestic violence or individuals wishing to report to the police, for example.
CIS’ters receive calls/emails from across the UK and occasionally beyond. Our website has been constructed with all survivors in mind, and statistical data provides evidence that the site is well used and helpful.
Survivors who contact us and fall within our primary category, are offered Membership (we prefer the definition of ‘Member’ to that of ‘service user’ or ‘client’). This is free and provides peer emotional support via email, or occasional phone calls, quarterly newsletter and
the opportunity to attend our annual residential weekend workshop. We have limited resources and thus, focus on that which we can safely deliver. At any one time we have 500+ members across England and Wales, with on average 51% living within Hampshire & IoW.
This year we held our 25th Annual Weekend Workshop, with 24 Members attending the event. As is usual, there was a subsidised fee to attend with additional bursaries for those who would not otherwise be able to afford it.
The Voices of CIS’ters Members – Annual Weekend Workshop, May 2025
The following are extracts from some of the feedback forms from this event:
I can’t express enough how important it is to have a safe space for women who have suffered from childhood abuse to come together. We want to thrive and shrive for a better future. Without this opportunity to meet and share our own journeys we will continue to feel stuck in our own situations.
It was clear that you were actively tracking people’s journeys and supporting people as needed (prior to the weekend and then during the event, and follow up afterwards), whether overtly or subtly. That made for a very safe and well-managed weekend for our emotional journeys…. I cannot tell you how mind-blowing and life-changing this has been for me.
I feel accepted by all, even though I’m from Bame community - I don’t feel Different. I attend the Weekend Workshop each year because all members including Gillian & the team (all Members of CIS’ters) always makes me feel welcome & supported always.
Meeting other female survivors has given me a voice … sharing a confidential space with like-minded women really gives me warmth & comfort with my own pain. I feel I’m not abnormal or freak. I feel accepted. Thank you so much for this event. May it carry-on 2026
Written by Helen, Member of CIS’ters
I’ve entered a room
I did not know existed
A labyrinth of words
Led me here, blindfolded
A disclosure...this time believed
Thirty-five years later
My words unlock
A door I have never noticed
I open my eyes to see
An almost magical serenity
Of simple acceptance
Unpolluted by fumes of danger
I feel blossoms of warmth
Showering down upon me
Like a flurry of petals
Rushing to meet me
And as my eyes search
For the dissolved door
Safety dawns
And many voices hold me
A necklace of daisies
Is placed over my head
It reads Survivor.
It reads Believed.
Written by Elaine, Member of CIS’ters
You took what was not yours to have,
And I too young to know,
How empty I would one day feel,
With scars I couldn’t show.
The tiny broken parts of me
Held as best they could,
And I wore a mask to face the world,
My pain misunderstood.
Anger, hatred and mistrust
Self-sabotage, and rage,
Loss of innocence, guilt, disgust,
My heart locked in a cage.
Wounds so deep the pain consumed me,
At times I’d think of nothing else.
Tortured thoughts and dark emotions,
A tunnel deep where I lost myself.
I found some comfort in the darkness,
I sealed my lips, there were no words.
I felt the shame so deep inside me,
Ever silent, never heard.
There came no knight in shining armour,
There came no cavalry charge at dawn,
There came no one to try to save me,
Trapped for years by the silence I’d sworn.
But somewhere in this place of sorrow,
I found a light to guide me home,
To gentle souls their hearts all grieving,
To a place where I was not alone.
Life experiences shared with tragic echoes,
A mirror image of my own
Rippling through the years behind me,
Imperfectly broken, but no longer alone.
INCEST CAUSES PAIN
I is for the isolation we feel,
N is for the numbness and nothing feels real,
C is for the cuddles, abusive or none,
E is for the emptiness and life’s never begun,
S is for the sleepless nights seeming endless in a row,
T is for the tears that we were not allowed to show.
C is for the comfort, a feeling we never felt,
A is for the anger at the hands we were dealt,
U is for the understanding which never came our way,
S is for the secret and the price we had to pay,
E is for the emotions we felt no right to claim,
S is for the scandal, the suffering and the shame.
P is for the protection we never received,
A is for the anguish that we may not be believed,
I is for the identity that we lost along the way,
N is for the nobody who is writing this today.
Anon Member, CIS’ters 12/11/2014
CIS’ters CURRENT BIGGEST ISSUE
FUNDING SHORTFALL 2025/26 RESERVES FALLING TO CRISIS LEVEL
