How to have a conversation with a....

How to have a conversation with a colleague about their mental wellbeing

There are high levels of negative emotions within law: the work is often about winning or losing requiring legal professionals to be critical, judgemental, combative and aggressive. Lawyers are required to think pessimistically, looking for potential problems and worse-case scenarios. In addition many lawyers are perfectionists who fear failure and making mistakes.

This can also be exacerbated by a difficult working environment - lack of support or supervision, an overly critical manager, being undermined after a career break, an unreasonably heavy workload, long hours, and sleep deprivation are all very common issues. In addition, many areas of law can be emotionally difficult to deal with and some cases can have considerable impact on health and wellbeing.

If you are working with someone who appears to be struggling, whether they are a lawyer or support staff, consider asking your colleague in private what is wrong and how you might help. Talking to a colleague in this way can be difficult but you don’t need to be an expert in mental health to start a conversation of this nature. It’s important to remember that talking could make all the difference to your colleague’s mental health.

Recognising a problem

Out-of-character behaviour may include:

• Irritability, mood swings, anger, and short temper

• Lack of energy, concentration, and motivation

• Frequent bouts of illness

• Failure to achieve targets despite apparent commitment and long hours

• Overconfidence despite making mistakes

• Withdrawal from normal social interaction

• Deteriorating relationships with managers and/or colleagues

• Neglect of personal dress and hygiene

• Coming into the workplace smelling of alcohol

• Over-reacting when challenged

Having the conversation

• Find a suitable place, ideally outside of the office; perhaps a café or go for a walk.

• The conversation could be started with a simple ‘How are you?’ Once a person knows they are being given the space and time to talk, they often will.

• Actively listen to the person and give them your undivided attention. Keep your phone switched on silent and refrain from looking at your watch.

• Don’t interrupt - try to leave any questions or comments you may have until the person has finished.

• Ask open questions: – What support do you have in place? What would you like to happen in this situation?”

• Use positive body language, and encourage the person to continue with small verbal comments like ‘I see’ or ‘what happened next?’

• Check your understanding by paraphrasing what the person has said back to them.

• Respond by using empathetic statements such as: “I appreciate this must be difficult for you…”

• Avoid clichés. Comments like ‘pull yourself together’ or ‘what will be, will be’ are not helpful.

• Don’t make the conversation about you: avoid saying things like ‘I know how you feel’ or ‘The same thing happened to me.’

• The important thing is to listen, rather than give advice, the individual needs to be able to act for themselves.

• Explore if practical help with tasks would be of use to the person.

• Encourage your colleague to use self-help strategies and to seek the support of family, friends and others.

• Discuss what options may be available to them by way of professional help and support – such as LawCare, HR, another colleague or suggest they visit their GP

• Care for yourself as well – you may need to talk to someone, while respecting your colleague’s privacy.

Managing mental health in a group

A mental health problem not only affects the person in question but also the people around them, including colleagues. If necessary, and if you are the right person to do this, you may need to talk to their team and explain what’s going on. Get permission from the person first about what they are comfortable with you sharing. If colleagues will need to pick up work from somebody else, make sure they are well briefed about this and have the capacity to do the work.

Your firm might want to consider providing mental health training for all staff and in particular managers so they are aware about what to look out for in colleagues and how to support them and signpost them for help.

Returning to work

Sometimes the person may need some time off work due to mental ill health. Whilst it is important to keep communication channels open, they should not be contacted by phone or

email about work matters whilst they recover. It is vital that an employee feels supported whilst they are off work and only return to work once they feel ready with, where relevant, the agreement of a medical professional or counsellor. If the situation is complex getting input from occupational health is useful too. Coming back to work too soon is counter-productive for the person concerned and the organisation, and can lead to another period of absence.

Employees may need a phased return to work after a period of sickness leave and adjustments may need to be made going forward – flexible working for example. Coffee or lunch with the team before the start back date sometimes breaks the ice. Encourage all staff to work sensible hours, take full lunch breaks, rest and recuperate after busy periods, avoid working at weekends and take annual leave entitlement. We all need ‘down time’, and this can prevent some mental health problems from escalating.

Have regular review meetings and some people may like to have a code word for when they feel overwhelmed, so they don’t have to go into detail at the time.

If you are worried about a colleague, or want to talk yourself, you can call the LawCare helpline on 0800 279 6888. The helpline is free, independent and confidential. www.lawcare.org.uk 

By

Elizabeth Rimmer