Failing Forward

Middle school teacher Beth Melfi wants your child to fail. A lot. But don’t worry: her ultimate goal is for kids to be successful.

Beth knows that failure is a scary concept, for kids and adults. Our students struggle already—Beth wants them to understand why, and be strategic. She wants to break the stigma of failure, and reframe it as a natural part of any endeavor. Beth says, “Being successful is a repeated journey of failure, over and over again. The diff erence is in how you

complete a diffi cult maze, and she listened closely as the students said “It’s so hard!” and “I’ll never get out of here!” as they attempted to solve the puzzle. When they were done, Beth asked, “What happened when you got to a dead end?” Many reported that they had reversed out and took another route. Beth drove her symbolic point home: if you stand still when you hit a wall, it’s failure. If you plan other options, it’s failing forward.

In her seventh grade science class, Beth began the year with a single prompt: Can you create a bubble inside a bubble? She provided just the materials and the task, and through observation, hypothesis, planning, and multiple experiments, they learned just what it takes to make that happen. In addition to driving hands-on scientifi c inquiry, the students also quickly learned about the necessity of failing over and over again to succeed.

Beth understands that creating a safe space is essential if students are going to fail forward productively. The process of helping students to believe that they are truly in a space where they can feel free to make mistakes takes time, and

Beth Melfi encourages her students to learn from failure.

look at the failure.” Beth encourages her students to “lean into the failure.” It’s saying to yourself, “Okay, here’s how I failed. Here’s how I’ll do it next time.”

This year, Beth started her middle school classes with the theme of failure. In language arts, she had her students

trust. Beth recalls, “At the beginning of the year, students were not open to talking about what went well, what didn’t. They weren’t comfortable yet. Now, it’s night and day, because they feel safe. They aren’t trying to lie to you. They’re not faking. There’s so much honesty.”

Beth says, “The kids who really make progress are those who know that they’re in a safe place where they’re free to take

risks. I say, ‘Just try it, and see what happens.’ Every year, I see kids pull amazing things out of their reading and writing because they feel safe.”

Failure is a part of life, and part of the support we need to give middle schoolers is understanding that we can’t do things for them. They need to learn how to do certain things, and have the space to mess up. Beth says, “It’s like crashing into metaphorical walls to fi gure out where the boundaries are. Think about our innovation space—it’s literally trial and error all of the time. It’s a new focus for Benchmark. Why wouldn’t you want academics to mirror that?”

Beth hopes that her students will carry with them the essential message of failing forward: failure is only failure if you stop and give up.

BENCHMARK PARENTS REFLECT

Early in the school year, Benchmark parents and teachers gathered to discuss the book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed, by Jessica Lahey. The book explores how parents and teachers need to give their children space to gain resiliency. Parent Latoya Watson refl ected, "As a parent of a kid with a learning diff erence, I struggle when she struggles. Reading this book, and coming together with other parents to discuss it, made me realize that I'm not alone in this. We all share this commonality, and we're going to fail our way to success." The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed