Female Sexuality

How to manage different sexual needs

Julie Demers Holistic Pelvic Floor Therapist

Sexual needs vary. Many factors can affect your sexual drive, including stress, illness, aging, and family, professional, and social commitments. Whatever the cause, differences in sexual desire between partners can sometimes lead to feelings of isolation, frustration, rejection, or resentment.

Talk to your partner about:

Your intimacy needs. Intimacy is not just about sexual needs. Intimacy also includes emotional, spiritual, physical, and recreational needs. If you're not getting your emotional intimacy needs met, you may be less interested in sex. Think about what your partner could do to improve your emotional intimacy, and talk about it openly and honestly.

Differences in sexual desire. In any long-term relationship, couples can experience different levels of sexual desire. Talk about your differences and try to explore options that satisfy both of you.

When to talk to your doctor:

If your difficulty persists, consider seeing a doctor or sex therapist for help. If you take medications that may affect your sexual desire, review your medications with your doctor. Your doctor can suggest an alternative.

Also, if a physical sign or symptom, such as vaginal dryness, is interfering with your sexual enjoyment, ask about treatment options. For example, a lubricant or other medication can help with vaginal dryness associated with hormonal changes or other factors.