BOLD edition #2

ISSUE NO. 2

FREE

BOLD

Take me home

Brought to you by

Be Bold Be You

TAKE A STEP FROM YOUR COMFORT ZONE, IN 2024 it’s a hard ride but you will get there

BOUNDARIES & BALANCE you are not alone

Top Tips www.beboldbeyou.co.uk

HOW TO DRESS FOR YOUR BODY SHAPE

1

MEET OUR COVER STAR!

CONTENTS WELCOME

3

TAKE A STEP FROM YOUR COMFORT ZONE, IN 2024

4

BOUNDARIES & BALANCE

6

STRUT WOMEN INTERVIEW

8

HOW TO DRESS FOR YOUR BODY SHAPE

13

TOP TIPS - FESTIVE SEASON PREPARATION

18

ISSUE NO. 1

ISSUE NO. 2

FREE

Hetty is a mum of two grown children and she started her professional life as a children’s social worker. In 1994 she changed paths and became a qualified Acupuncturist, specialising in the treatment of women’s health, including the Menopause.

In 2017 Hetty took her work to the next level and qualified as a Leadership Coach for women which sees her work with women’s powertypes to explore and reflect the strong role models that can enhance an individual’s leadership, both professionally and in daily life.

Hetty has found people’s reasons for having acupuncture and life coaching can overlap and so has created a bespoke way of fusing both together, if wanted, with the aim being to shift negative emotions and limiting beliefs to establish positivity. She is passionate about supporting you to make health and mindset transformations…

In her spare time, you can find her enjoying the Derbyshire countryside whenever she can, where she has raised her family.

www.heatherfittonacupunture.co.uk

FREE

BOLD BOLD

“I ONLY HAVE ONE LIFE & ONE BODY, SO I MAY AS WELL EMBRACE IT”

Take me home

brought to you by

Brought to you by

Be Bold Be You

Be Bold Be You

talking body confidence with real women

Take me home

TAKE A STEP FROM YOUR COMFORT ZONE, IN 2024 it’s a hard ride but you will get there

HOW TO TALK SELFIE FILTERS

BOUNDARIES & BALANCE

with your tweens & teens

you are not alone

“WHO ARE WE TO DENY SOMEBODY THE CHANCE TO

www.beboldbeyou.co.uk PB

2

Top Tips

Express Themselves?”

why Meta agreed to change their guidelines 1

www.beboldbeyou.co.uk

HOW TO DRESS FOR YOUR BODYSHAPE

1

DEAR ALL,

WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF

Be Bold Be You

Following the success of the summer edition, Be Bold Be You is back with its second edition of the BOLD magazine.

“Be Bold Be You” is so much more than just a photoshoot. We don’t work with professional models, we only work with real women and this edition is here to encourage you to find your own confidence, this festive season.

Whether you’re a manager wanting to enhance the wellbeing of your team or simply wondering what the hell you can wear, and feel comfortable in, for the Christmas “do” this year, BOLD has got you covered.

We’ve got an article on how to understand “comfort zones” and how you can extend that circle to boost your own self esteem. I’m thrilled to welcome our guest writer, Laura Howard of the Contented Workplace, who has written an article for mums on how to manage that all important work and homelife balance, whilst making sure you are looked after in this, too.

I find myself continuously reminding members of our BBBY tribe, old and new, that self care is not selfish – it’s essential!

This was also echoed by mum and business owner, Laura Armstrong of Strut Womenswear in Belper, in her exclusive interview with us on outfit advice to leave you feeling the Queen of the Christmas party season!

Finally, don’t forget to have a look at our important guide on how to dress your body shape. This, in our opinion, really is the key as – afterall – our body shape is dictated by our DNA and no diet is ever

JOIN OUR FACEBOOK GROUP OF OVER 500 REAL WOMEN going to change that, very well proven – scientific – fact. From there, you’ll be able to find clothes that suit your body shape and – as Laura says in her interview – a well-suited colour can really lift both your outfit and mood.

So, whether you’ve heard Kirsty on BBC Radio Derby, Amber Sound FM, come across our #uckthefilter campaign, read our research report requested as part of the House of Parliament’s call for evidence on “The Impact of Body Image on Mental & Physical Health” or are just getting to know us for the first time we want you to know that everyone is welcome at Be Bold Be You.

James & Kirsty

beboldbeyouuk

We hope that this magazine inspires you to join the tribe and feel proud of who you are.

As Oscar once said,

“Be bold, be you.

Everyone else is already taken.”

3

WELLBEING

TAKE A STEP FROM YOUR

Comfort Zone, IN 2024

Have you ever felt like you’re standing still whilst the world continues to move forward, without you?

Do you feel like you’re lacking any drive or ambition?

Are you bored with the day-to-day but no idea how to find your own playtime, again?

If you answered YES to any of the above, then YOU have just defined the perimeters of the comfort zone!

A comfort zone is mainly circumstantial and rarely a personal choice. For some, it’s easiest to stay in this zone whilst others’ needs are met - parents and/or carers, for example. For others, it can be due to a career needing them to stay in this zone or maybe, still, an illness of our own - or somebody elses - that has caused life to stagnate.

4

Whatever the reason, it’s normally not down to our own personal decision making that we find ourselves at this zone.

Have you ever been intrigued to step outside of this zone?

FAB NEWS! You have made the first decision for your own, positive, wellbeing - you want to move to a new chapter! The first step is to see the “learning” zone as a playground. You can explore and by exploring you’ll be learning new skills whether this be in a job or for your own wellbeing. If you don’t hang on to this mindset then those feelings of failure, sitting still or general monotomy will creep back very quickly.

IT’S A HARD RIDE BUT YOU WILL GET THERE.

In 2012, Nasim Taleb coined the phrase “antifragile” which was described as systems in which we

“thrive and grow when exposed to volatility, randomness, disorder, and stressors.” It’s all very well people throwing around the phrase “resilience” but what if you just don’t know how to achieve it? Antifragile systems learn to grow from an experience in life.

By stepping out of your comfort zone and battling through the fear zone you are learning from previous experiences to build your own system to learn and grow for your own, personal, development.

YOU NOW NEED TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF TO ACHIEVE YOUR OWN GOAL.

The goal has been made by you.

It’s there to fulfil your own wants and needs.

You’ve been on the journey.

You battled through the fear zone and you’ve taken onboard so much in the learning zone.

NOW IT IS TIME TO GROW.

5

Boundaries & Balance 6

This image was not taken by Be Bold Be You & was supplied

by Contented Workplace Co.

A MUM’S GUIDE TO PROTECTING YOUR PSYCHOLOGICAL WELL-BEING AT WORK.

By Laura Howard MSc, Psychology and Women’s Leadership Coach

Feeling exhausted by work? Fantasising about jacking it all in? Frustrated by life, motherhood, and work being at loggerheads?

WELL, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Rising numbers of mothers are leaving work to look after family.

In 2022 43,000 women quit their jobs. Whilst two-thirds of mothers surveyed said their career had ‘stalled’ since having children. More positively women’s participation in the workforce is over 72% rising exponentially in recent decades.

Women make organisations more representative of their customers’ needs.

Our place at work is, therefore, imperative.

There are several simple ways for you to regain the joy of work while keeping a sense of who you are. This is vital to protecting your psychological well-being and avoiding burnout.

Get some perspective on events at work. For instance, you may feel like you are doing badly when in fact your work is good. Talk to a manager or colleague to tell them how you are feeling. Ask them to explain what is important at work and what you are doing well.

Similarly, we do great work when we feel a sense of belonging or community. What can you join or support? Is there a company charity you can get behind or a better way to connect with your employer’s values?

We feel successful when we feel competent regarding tasks. Do not, therefore, set unrealistic tasks. If you have returned to work within weeks after maternity leave, do not plan to take over the whole department or organisation. Take it slowly. Consider what is achievable and importantly what you are good at and enjoy.

On the days you feel like moving mountains, do something outside your comfort zone.

Volunteer for a task, take the stage or attend a course. This grows our resilience and sense of achievement.

Be purposeful and clear about the work you will and will not take on. For me, I avoid early morning and late-night work events. Once I reconciled with myself, that I was not doing this, it became easier to say no. It can feel hard at first to say no but try it with some lesser tasks and work upwards.

It takes practice.

Laura uses her real-world experience as a previous people leader to make work work for leaders, teams, and customers. The Contented Workplace fulfils her ambitions for everyone to be their best and bring that best to work.

Readers can discover more about Laura via her website: www.thecontentedworkplace.co

TAKE AWAY TIPS

1.

Get some support. Talk to someone you trust or a manager.

2.

Set achievable goals.

3.

Do something brave often.

4.

Recognise when things are going well and congratulate yourself.

5.

Understand what you will and will not do.

Acknowledging that we cannot do everything well 100% of the time is a major but important step in protecting our psychological well-being at work.

CREATING GREATER BOUNDARIES CAN HELP BALANCE OUR COMMITMENTS BETTER GIVING TIME BACK TO THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON, YOU. 7

INTERVIEW

“Embrace the colour

and the sparkle!

DON’T BE SCARED OF IT!

You should be going out, in party season, feeling your absolute best and not having to hide behind a little black dress.

Something I adore about shopping at independent retailers, across the East Midlands, is the honest conversation.

Whether it’s the hairdresser who tells me that because of the natural flick in my hairline, I’m best with a side parting or whether it’s the shop assistant educating me that that particular style of clothing needs to be worn a size up to suit my wider hips – both conversations are positively honest and, at the end of the day, look after me and my confidence.

8

It appears I’m not on my own with this notion. Laura Armstrong, the owner of Strut Women in Belper, is a married mum of two schoolaged children and she knows this all too well.

As Christmas season approaches I had a chat with Laura about the office party season which begins soon and how - by practicing a well under-valued piece of self care - you and your confidence can have the best Christmas party this season.

“

All female bodies change either through having kids or the menopause, for example.

I meet women who lack self confidence because they blame themselves for these changes.

Explains Laura.

“

It’s a well proven fact that any body shape – male or female – is dictated somewhat by our DNA and although we have may control over our body size this doesn’t necessarily mean we can recognise the moments where we are, quite simply, being harsh on ourselves.

“

“I think social media feeds a lack of self confidence,” explains Laura.

“You can scroll easily and it’s all, generally, a similar figure promoting the fashion and I think people subconsciously compare themselves to it.” And she’s not wrong. “It’s something I really want to get across, all of the time: negative self talk needs to stop.

Don’t rip yourself to shreds in the mirror.

People tell me that they don’t like menial things such as knees, moles and arms - it’s crazy. I always ask where that negativity came from because it has always come from somewhere that isn’t you!

A loved one – a relative or friend – wouldn’t say that to you so it’s come from somewhere negative and you need to stop that and talk positively to yourself in that mirror.”

Let’s be honest, as the Christmas season approaches our minds can turn to the work Christmas do

“Many I meet seem afraid of colour and will gravitate to neutrals but, actually, a bright colour will uplift their mood and allow them to push themselves out of their comfort zone a little.

Some brands are great at promoting different colours and different shapes but some are not.” Laura suddenly gets excited and quickly goes over to the other side of the store and pulls out a pair of flared trousers, known as palazzo pants.

“THESE!” she says with her massive grin and sparkly eyes. “They are our biggest seller and the reason is because of this…” Laura starts tugging at the waistband – it’s elasticated.

“This is the key”, she says.

“They’re stretchy so they fit so many different body shapes and there’s also two different leg lengths so we can cater for lots of different shapes.

Lara, who works here, is 21 and she lives in them. I try and get staples that suit all sorts of figures to put in the shop.

Laura Armstrong, owner of Strut Women in Belper

which both Laura & I know, from talking to women who visit our separate independent businesses, can actually be a cause of dread and anxiety due to the fashion element of this festive event.

Laura has the best piece of advice to hand:

“

Never blame your body, there are loads of different cuts and some will suit you and some will not.

“

She’s quick to add that so many women don’t know how to identify their body shape and so have no clue about what kinds of styles and shapes suit them. “We coach a lot when people are trying things on.

Last year a customer picked out purple trousers and a black top.

I swapped her from a black top to a purple, sparkly, top: It suddenly changed how she was standing and also how she saw her body.

We took photos of both outfits so she could see how much more confident she stood in the colourful outfit.

When choosing stock I make sure we’ve got different styles of clothing to suit a range of women.

With the Christmas parties coming, wrap dresses are good for varying shapes and are really flattering as are skater dresses. But never forget the sparkle!” she adds, as she puts the palazzo pants to one side. “How you style things is key: an older woman may not put chunky trainers with a pair of palazzo pants but a 21yr old would so I know those trousers suit a range of people.

At Strut we can teach people how to style a key item to suit both their shape and their age and that’s the key to a good Christmas party. There will be so many different people there – in both ages and size – and you need to just focus on you and your self confidence.”.

9

I imagine Laura’s had to give quite a few ‘pep talks’ to her customers - old and new - over the years she’s been based on Strutt Street in Belper.

“

I meet so many people in the shop and the majority have no clue what kinds of styles and shapes suit them.

“

Laura reflects before she jokes that her role is “half sales and half therapy!” “I think I’m quite a normal shape – I’m edging to pear shape rather than hourglass as I’m curvy. I’m top heavy and my weight fluctuates.

I’ve gone up a clothes size recently but I’m not going to beat myself up about it because I think these honest conversations are needed to normalise the fact that there are lots of different body shapes.

More honesty is needed in these conversations and I think we need to be more wary of celebrities and their culture – for them to walk down a red carpet they’ve been planning their outfits for months and subsequently, they go on real strict diets that just are not possible for many of us”.

When planning your Christmas outfit – whether it be your confidence or actual outfit – Laura suggests a changing room snap may help you.

“If you’re not sure of an outfit, take a photo of it and walk away from the shop.

If you still remember that outfit in a couple of hours then it’s calling you and you should go for it.

10

MAKE SURE YOU FEEL LIKE

‘YOU’

We get more sales from stories on Instagram than we do from our website and I think that’s because we can talk through how the garment fits, how to wear it and how to look at the cut to work out the fit for their body.”

“People say we’re honest on these stories and people ask how to wear things, so they like to be told as well as get given ideas on how to dress.

It’s something you won’t get from scrolling a national retailer.”

IN IT.

When I was shopping for my wedding dress it was important to me to feel myself…

Some cuts may have suited my shape but they weren’t my personality so I didn’t feel myself in that dress and my confidence wasn’t where it should have been.”

Laura agrees it’s best to try things on in a shop rather than click & buy online, hoping for the best.

“When you’re scrolling through ideas online you need to have a self check and remember that the model probably hasn’t had kids, it’s been photoshopped and you need to realise you’re being mean to yourself and talk yourself out of it.”

Laura reflects, though, as she appreciates that, for many, time to shop in-person may be difficult so she’s decided to take a different approach to selling her clothes online.

“When we do our stories on Instagram and Facebook we make sure we talk about how the cut of the cloth fits a body shape.

Laura laughs as she goes on to say “There are mistakes on the stories and people see me being a bit of an idiot but it means people see me being real and if they come to the shop they won’t meet anything different – this is who I am and it’s important, for me, not to edit or change that – I’m just a bit whacky!”

You can visit Strut Women in-store or online to find your festive & confidenceboosting outfit.

21 Strutt St, Belper DE56 1UN www.strut-clothing.co.uk

11

12

HOW TO:

Dress for your body shape HOW TO IDENTIFY YOUR OWN BODY SHAPE Providing you with advice on styles of clothing to

boost your self confidence!

13

UNDERSTAND YOUR SHAPE Body shape is dependent on your bone structure and genetics, not your weight. You can be any body shape at any age, weight or size. All bodies deserve to be celebrated, and understanding your shape is just the first step.

Yes, it’s true... Measuring tapes may provide an exact numbers for you, then, to study and link to a body shape BUT the numbers you jot down can easily be accompanied by unneeded self-criticism.

Instead, we’re getting rid of that confidence-knockinginstrument and changing to becoming practical.

It requires only you, your fabulous body and a full length mirror.

14

Pear Body Shape Lingerie for pear shaped bodies Bra’s should be patterned and push up and/or plunge style...

I t’s all about the cleavage!

If you’re able to invest in a steel boned corset you won’t run the risk of the corset bending across the tummy when you sit down.

Pants should be high cut, thigh slimming leg line and support for your bum.

A pear shaped body is all about balancing the top half with the bottom half.

Avoid detailed, tight fitting, belts as this will draw the eye to your waistline.

If wearing a strapless top, bra and/ or corset a necklace with a pendant will bring the eye to the centre of your body and elongate your length.

Avoid chunky bracelets and rings as this will bring the eye to your hips and not show off your body shape.

A bolero style cardigan or jacket can balance your body shape beautifully, just make sure the bottom of it isn’t around your hip area and is just underneath the bosom line.

Rose Head Body Shape Lingerie for rose head shaped bodies The answer here is to ignore the number on the hanger and embrace what you and your body need to look and feel good.

Get a bra that gives good support, such as a balcony. If you have a bigger bosom that invest in a bra that pushes your boobs away from each other, which will make them appear smaller.

If you’re tummy conscious then a negligee, camisole or underbust corset are the ones for you. If not too tight then it can lengthen your silhouette.

Big pants are essential for your shape as they’ll balance out your boobs. Make sure they’re not too tight, otherwise you’ll end up with the dreaded muffin top.

You’re so lucky in that you can wear amazing jewellery to take the eye to your natural beauty - your eyes and hair. Choose items such as earrings, corsages and brooches.

If you can, avoid trousers with angled pockets as they hang out to the side and will add baggage where you don’t want it.

Accessorize with boldly coloured, matching, pieces such as shoes, belts and bags. The more bold, the better!

Play with funky patterns and crazy prints - express yourself!

15

Apple Body Shape Lingerie for apple shaped bodies Corsets can create an instant definition to your curves.

Having a boned corset will be best for your shape.

The sweetheart neckline will cup your boobs and fastenings at the front will help elongate the line of your body.

For variety, a babydoll dress is perfect for you.

It accentuates the bust line and camouflages the stomach flowing loosely over your body. Dress both corsets and camisoles with garters, stockings and patterned pants.

Spoon Body Shape Lingerie for spoon shaped bodies It’s all about the pants for you!

Think low cut leg, that sit underneath the bum with a nice angle on the leg holes (ie. not girl boxers).

Wear a plunge style bra, with thick straps, to even out your curves and by adding texture and pattern to your chest area so attention is taken away from just your bum.

16

If you’re feeling a bit self conscious then have a look at a babydoll. The slit up the leg does no harm as it leads the eye down your leg, adding length.

A body that’s all about the derrière is all about balance.

Avoid overly cinched belts as this will make your butt look bigger, making you top heavy (or heavy top, depending how you look at it!).

Push up bras are your best friend.

Don’t be shy to enhance your cleavage and if this means getting a couple of chicken fillets to tuck into your bra then do it! Nobody will know and you’ll feel more confident.

Stand tall and proud - hunching your shoulders will add bulk to your stunning figure.

Avoid chunky bracelets and rings as this will bring eyes to your hips and not show off your body shape.

Embrace the belts! I don’t mean the small ones, I mean the statement ones.

Whether it’s the wide waist belt or the sexy corset belt just go for it... You can never have too many!

Accessorize with boldly coloured, matching, pieces such as shoes, belts and bags.

The more bold, the better! P lay with funky patterns and crazy prints express yourself!

Avoid small bags or those that sit at waist height. They’ll just go against the proportions we’re wanting to embrace, giving the impression of you being a bigger size.

You can never go wrong with a scarf. It adds texture and the length, when hanging down, will elongate your torso.

Hourglass Body Shape Lingerie for hourglass shaped bodies You are all about statement pieces. A full cup, balcony bra with good support will serve you well. Bad support will make your boobs droop. Pattern and texture is also good for you as it can take away from the size of cleavage.

Basques are all about the hourglass figure. Make it a statement piece and stand proud.

Big pants or high waist, thick banded, g-strings are good for you. Just make sure that your bum is well supported and if you’re feeling shy then bigger pants are definitely better.

Embrace the belts! I don’t mean the small ones, I mean the statement ones. Whether it’s the wide waist belt or the sexy corset style belt just go for it... You can never have too many!

Keep your neckline open... If you like to wear necklaces keep it simple with a thin chain and small pendant.

Avoid chokers (and collars) as they’ll shorten your neck.

Accessorize with boldly coloured, matching, pieces such as shoes, belts and bags.

The more bold, the better!

Play with funky patterns and crazy prints - express yourself! Most of all, stand tall and proud. H unching your shoulders will add bulk to your stunning figure.

Runway Figure Body Shape Lingerie for runway figure shaped bodies A triangular, bikini style bra with a classic thong can dress you well. If you want to make a bit more of a statement have a look at a laced bralette with a good angle on the cup.

An underbust corset will help achieve the perfect hourglass figure, with bra over the boobs. A garter belt is a perfect companion because it accentuates the long-legged look.

Boyshorts or a ruffled pant are flattering to a rectangular shaped body with a narrow bottom as are g-strings.

A high neckline will make you look shorter so avoid chunky jewellery around your neck area, including dangle based earrings.

The key to your body shape is simplicity. Avoid too much layering with too many jackets, hats, bags and jewels. Think simple and delicate.

A scarf is your best friend - wear it with length, rather than ruffled around your neck as it will make you look longer.

Round toe ballet pumps are your best friend. They’re in proportion with you and can look very classy on the right body shape, which you are!

Finally, keep straps narrow... Belts, watches, bracelets - you get the idea.

17

TOP TIPS

Festive Season Preparation As party season approaches, we’ve gone through some of our most popular “top tips” for Be Bold Be You shoots and picked out the ones which we think may help you prepare for the festive season.

Remember, the goal of a Be Bold Be You Boudoir Experience is to celebrate who you are. You are vivacious, incredible and can achieve anything when you put your mind to it.

however, telling you to go out and get a professional manicure the day before your event! If it’s not your style to have your nails painted then a simple “shape up” will do and make sure your hands are well washed so the whites are ready for your event.

Sometimes you need reminding that you are capable of anything if you believe in yourself, whether planning for your office do or a boudoir photoshoot, with us!

Outfit planning • Jewellery can lift an outfit because it adds texture and interest. A professional jewellery maker once told me that to make jewellery shine, simply use a cheap baby wipe!

In the run up to the party (or shoot…)

• If you use self tan then it’s worth doing it the week before your event so it has time to settle… We advise you don’t use self tan, before your shoot, if that helps!

• Have your hair cut around a fortnight before your event. This is so that you get used to the style and if they’ve cut it a little short you’ve got time to grow it back.

18

• I won’t lie, neatly shaped finger nails can enhance your image – whether in a photograph or just feeling good on a night out. This isn’t me,

• The day or two before your event, put your outfit together on the hanger, so it is ready for you. There is nothing worse than leaving it until the last minute and trying to pull “something” together.

• Take an extra pair of tights with you…

The last thing you need is a ladder in your tights (or stockings)! Take extras, just incase then it won’t ruin your afternoon/evening • If you’re struggling to find an outfit that brings you comfort and confidence then indulge in that extra time, for you, and go shopping! Yes, on your own, with time to try things on and have a general browse around the shops.

As the festivities begin to creep their way closer to us, once more, Laura has three top tips for you to feel confident at the work Christmas do, this year.

• Don’t be afraid of sparkles and colour because if you get a colour that suits you then it will suit you and you’ll feel great in that rather than a little black dress • Dress for your body shape, definitely • Just be BOLD – push that comfort zone

• And finally, the night before whether your Christmas party or your own photoshoot, take some time for you and have a pamper.

Wash and dry your hair. If face masks are your thing, enjoy it. Read a book.

Sit and listen to music.

Whatever it is to take some time for you, start it the night before.

19

20