Beacon No. 7 — Two Faced

BEACON

N o. 07 TWO FAC E D Y.G .B . SPECIAL EDITION

BEACON N o. 07 TWO FAC E D

Y.G .B . SPECIAL EDITION

ROZENN LE GALL

{ 0 }

ADRIAN SANDS

{ 2 }

FOREWORD

{ 4 }

ZACH WESTERMAN

{ 5 }

UNTITLED

{ 6 }

TYLER SPANGLER

{ 8 }

GRACIE ELLISON-SHORTRIDGE

{ 10 }

SHELLEY GASKE

{ 12 }

LOVE AT FACE VALUE I

{ 13 }

NOTALLINTERVIEWS

{ 14 }

ARMANDO BRAVO

{ 16 }

CHAMBERS AUSTELLE

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SHADOW BOX HOME

{ 20 }

YOUNG GIFTED BLACK & BROWN

{ 22 }

ELLEN KILMER

{ 35 }

ROZENN LE GALL

{ 37 }

LINNEA HAVENER & NATHAN BERGFELT

{ 38 }

LOVE AT FACE VALUE II

{ 39 }

HABBY KHALIL

{ 40 }

HERE (KAILUA, HI)

{ 44 }

OFF TRACK BOYS

{ 47 }

FOREWORD

- KAILLA COOMES

We sometimes feel different on the inside than what we are portraying on the outside. It’s not meant to be deceitful, it’s for protection. When we are thrown into a new environment we put up a front, to protect, to adjust, and to become comfortable, it takes time. In Run It by Logic he raps that his life is now completely different than before, and he is adjusting because this new life is unknown. So he has to protect himself, but also live his dream, live his life. Which is what we try and do every single day.

"Man, I never knew that living out a dream meant living out a suitcase I've been working at a new pace So much money on the road I ain't even had a minute Not a single second chilling in my new place Motherfuckers getting two-faced Cause a brother finally eating …

Just a youngin' in the game Tryna show 'em what I got, way back That was the mentality, never truly reality Looking for validation With all the wrong things on my mind for motivation …

Anything you wanna do you can Just go and get it, fuck 'em if they don't love 'em Be above it unless you're thinking your profession gon' be rap Matter fact you should take a step back Cause I run it"

5

T W O

sometimes i laugh out loud alone so excited i get so excited i'm back tell me a joke i can guess the punch line i can read your mind i'm invincible look at me i need this please notice me but don't look too closely i wouldn't let you anyway

sometimes i'm all alone with you right next to me so empty i feel so empty i'm gone ask me a question can you rephrase the question i don't understand i'm unconscious look at me i need this please notice me but don't look too closely i wouldn't let you anyway

F A C E D

by danny alter

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F A C E D

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F A C E D

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G R A C I E E L L I S O N S H O R T R I D G E

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LOVE AT FACE VALUE He knew that she was the one, it was as plain as the nose on his face.

Their love was not the in-your-face kind of love, but a giddy, can’t wipe the grin off your face kind.

She was more than just a pretty face, the most beautiful woman he had ever known.

He was ready for life with her, knowing that sometimes they’d fall flat on their faces, but he didn’t care.

She was someone he would play kissy face with till the end of time.

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BYBRITTMOHR WITHCOURTNEY PERKINS Becoming an Instagram phenomenon with 275k followers over the course of a year is no small feat. If you’re familiar with the content from the astrology meme account, NotAllGeminis, you wouldn’t be surprised to discover that the page creator, 23-year-old Courtney Perkins, is a down to earth comedy writer living in L.A. Self-described as lowbrow and defiant in her taste, she’s also lighthearted and at the crux of it all has found an outlet to not only laugh at herself, but allow her followers to laugh at themselves too - with astrology memes.

We linked up over video chat, Courtney sporting a shirt reading “ASS ASS” (she promised it was a promotion for the film Assassination Nation), while attempting to discreetly munch on her oatmeal.

“I love terrible music, tv and movies, like if you wanna try to hold your amazing director over my head to be cool then like fuck you my favorite artist is Rihanna.”

Behind the satirical and spunky nature of her memes is a lifelong passion of astrology. Her interest in astrology began by reading books as a child, growing into a habit of remembering the birthday of everyone in her life and mapping out the birth charts of friends and family. This skill in grouping people and understanding their charts, in addition to heavy research, is the groundwork for her carefully constructed and individualized astrology memes.

The massive take off of this account can be attributed to the very same reasons people use astrology in their daily lives. Courtney describes this growth as a somewhat generational relief for younger people: “How else am I gonna cope with these feelings? ‘Oh memes!’ [Memes] about mental health and memes about astrology kind of dive into that, without forcing you to believe in something, also while allowing you to engage in that narcissism.

[Astrology memes] give you a space to self-reflect...”

In this growing age of acknowledging the importance of mental health and the obvious lack of resources, astrology is a belief system that can be more comforting to people than traditional means. By expanding your knowledge of astrology beyond your sun sign, a detailed reading of your birth chart can give you the tools to focus on yourself, recognizing the areas where you can work on communication or interpersonal relationships.

When delivered in a way everyone can understand, such as with memes and pop culture references, followers can relate better to the intricacies of their birth chart. A silly photo of the latest celebrity trend juxtaposed with a commentary calling out a sign's weakness could draw the reader to be be more introspective. Courtney has honed in on the craft of making us laugh at ourselves as a way of discovery, even in small ways.

NotAllGeminis has sculpted a large group of positivity and open-minded people. Not only has the community shown kindness and support for Courtney, she has used her platform to raise awareness for social issues and promote causes she cares about. This medium has been able to bridge gaps among followers and pave the way for her to make connections that she thought she would never get the chance to.

Whether you believe in astrology or not, ‘at the end of the day it’s just a meme’.

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F A C E D

T W O

F A C E D

CHAM BERS

AUSTELLE

shadow box home living alive while dead to me too many faces day dreamer not a sleep walker simultaneously courageous with the pain thick visions intoxicating intuition displayed up staircases next fleeting muse insight feelings never rested in the bed you assembled in a hurry dimwitted from your company goddess' fighting our way forced in the naming luminary visions of a god consciousness of her face while she lies in rest awake the feminine displayed masculine mannerisms pictured thoughts feel corrupt sights of the emotions you lost walked away stay filled up eternal cycles of mournings combined in a hue of blues luke warm colors called you through vast hardship skies some times trust earns merits

at times it doesn't faced by callenging moments you thrive in persist to remain lurking in real ways obsessions seep within sacrifice remains high priority these days allowing all skies knowing that i feel wealth avoiding tolls in life creators rule their death built high around this small town it is or it isn't pretending that the name is house its right now i promise you no later date graceful face places that i hold for myself places i hold with others its everything like what my mother didn't give me Fathers replaced never enough always never i am too fucking much slowed the rush displayed greatness in shitty moments won't see the tears through the sweat penetrating the mind it's all rewinding you are dead while alive by melissa guerrero 21

Y.G.B. IS MORE

THAN JUST A PARTY. IT’S A COMMUNITY. WE COME TOGETHER TO GET DOWN, CELEBRATE EACH OTHER, AND HONOR ALL THINGS YOUNG GIFTED BLACK & BROWN.

Natalie Figueroa Organizer RaShaunda Brooks Organizer Emmeline Eao Creative Director Diona Jackson Sadé Beasely Artist in Residence Jamaal Hale Emilly Prado Emily Lai Michelle Comer Mat Randol Artist in Residence Bobby Fouther Artist in Residence Mulu Habtemariam Lamar Leroy Vaughn Kimmons Renée Lopez Farnell Newton

Art Saved My Life (ASML) Artists in Residence program was a 3-month partnership with DUG, aka Deep Underground, Friends of Noise, and Gentrification Is Weird.

Y.G.B. sat down with a few of their closest collaborators and friends to talk about identity, community, multiplicity, and what compells them to contribute to the world.

Here's what they said...

DIONA people you surround yourself with that are doing dope shit that you love and appreciate. doing everything constantly. being a mom, running two businesses, having no days off, being everyone's rock in your community. all these things that are constantly going. doing everything at one time and being able to do it. that’s what you’re used to, you know how to do it, you been doing it for a long time and nothing’s changed- you’re going to keep adding shit. breaks are good but you still keep doing it. multiple layers, no matter what you do. you’re doing multiple things always, and make it work. / growing up my grandparents would take us thrift shopping every saturday morning since i was three years old. we would go estate saling, garage saleing, yard saling, from seven in the morning till five pm. i’ve been treasure hunting my whole life. / i want to have places for all of us to show what we do and put these events on and do things for people to be like, “here’s what i make, here i am, here we go, buy my shit!” a space for us. let’s have a space for us together to say “here it is, it’s our

Y O U N G G I F T E D B L A C K & B R O W N

market.” why i don’t sell shit online because i want to see who’s buying my shit. at the end of transactions it ends with a hug.

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SADÉ Y O U N G G I F T E D

community to me is a group of people coming together and being in communion, sharing ideas, sharing space and being there for one another. / multiplicity to me is being able to be you. you’re multifaceted as a person. i

go to school full time, i work as a researcher at ohsu in a

B L A C K

circadia lab, i do sleep studies, i study both management

&

am. all of those different areas in my life come together

B R O W N

american portraiture that focuses on the female. i love

and leadership and environmental engineering, i am an artist. i am also an entrepreneur. i create paintings and i also sell them. i’m a sister to three other siblings and a fiance. there are a lot of different things that build who i to make me and make me unique. / my art is african black women. being a black woman myself, my paintings are sort of a surrogate to my feelings. any of the trauma that i’m going through i put it in my art. i focus on mental health within the black community in my pieces-not just within the art but also with short stories and poems that accompany them. i’ve also been dabbling in a lot of forest therapy. getting out into nature and using

that as inspiration in a lot of my pieces as well. / i have a story to tell. i also tell the story of other black women who are going through things that a lot of women don’t share or they feel like it can’t be shared or impact other people. i show work that a lot of people shy away from. it’s all through portraiture. it’s the eyes, or the way that the lips fall, or hair-- it’s all an expression of deep trauma. i share it because it’s a good dialogue to have in the community. when i’m in dialogue with somebody about my artwork and then they find out about the deeper meaning of it, it starts a whole new conversation.

community to me is when everybody is truly together for one common cause and they see the end of the situation they’re going towards and are all collectively getting together doing many different things but for one common cause. / i have the medium of graphic design, printing, sometimes music. i think there’s an art in being an orator or being able to speak to a large group or people — being able to communicate. my main goal is whatever medium i choose, I want to be able to motivate. i want my art to be a

JAMAAL

Y O U N G G I F T E D B L A C K & B R O W N

motivation for a lot of different people.

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EMILLY

Y O U N G

community is having a space, having people that you can rely on and who will support you and you can support them. mutual empowerment, mutual support. folks who show up—both ways—always. / in my

G I F T E D

journalism, i’m focused on trying

B L A C K

to a Y.G.B. event it was amazing to see so many peo-

& B R O W N

to empower and uplift stories that are from people of marginalized communities. / i help kids tap into their creative writing, i am a dj with Noche Libre Latinx Collective, and i have a lot of other roles. / the first time i went ple of color dancing and having a great time and it had not been something i’d seen in portland.…a new generation of makers and creatives of color.

EMILY

community means food, healing, joy, grief, tough conversations, figuring out what accountability is…it’s a process, its definitely a process. it’s really dynamic and it’s a commitment. / our multiplicity gives us a lot of power and

magic. i feel like when i do something i’m doing it for

my mother, my grandmother, my father, my aunts, my ancestors. i also think what i’m doing is for the future and in that sense it feels very multiple. / there's a saying in mandarin that goes: “those who come before plant trees so those that come after have shade” i think because of how deeply connected we all are, in the past, the present and the future that's probably why so many of us are compelled to create. the need for expression is one that needs to be honored because what you repress needs to be expressed and what you cope with needs to be changed. what we hurt needs to be healed. that's what art and community and creativity is about. / i’m in the art of social justice and social change. challenging and resisting governments and policies that are meant to continue exploiting and marginalizing people is a form of art and creativity. community is a space where you’re accepted— you give what you get back. / my kids are my art. they are what i created. who they will be in the world for better for worse—they’re my masterpiece. / i love red. i’m at the point in my life now where it’s time to be bold, it's time to speak up for yourself. i’m red, i’m showing up everyday in red whenever i can. i wear red because it says, “that person is going to say something that

Y O U N G G I F T E D B L A C K & B R O W N

means something.”

MICHELLE

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Y O U N G G I F T E D B L A C K & B R O W N

MAT

i’m a hip hop artist/audio engineer. i’ve been doing this for about fifteen years. as a freshman in high school i taught myself how to record because i didn't ever have money to pay for top of the line studio time so i learned the craft myself. i used to rap

about things that weren't really true to my experience because i was just trying to get on and have all the diamonds and fancy cars. then i remember i got called on it by my brother. he was like, “talk about what you go through because people are going to pull your card.” so i started talking about my life, started going by my actual government name. i talk about what it's like being a father, being a person of color in this city, actually from this city. i’ve seen the change, i’ve seen everything happen. i literally got gentrified out of my last house. i talk about my experience living here and how i want to take that globally. i’m a big advocate for anxiety and depression. i think people, men especially in hip hop are afraid to show their emotions. i wear my heart on my sleeve and that’s the best type of music i make and it helps people.my art is all about trying to connect with people that deal with the same shit that i go through. / my son keeps me going too. he’s the biggest inspiration.

it means where i came from. a multitude of people put their chacha in me as i grew up and helped me get out of their house and then help me become someone who could stay out of their house and survive in the world and make it, and make shit. compete in an unfair environment. real community is that to me. / being multiple things simultaneously was also a construct that was fed into me early in my childhood because being a black child here in this united states my mom did not trust the school system, the legal system, or any of those other systems. so she taught and grilled my sister and i on being able to be multiple places at the same time mentally so that we didn’t have to always just think from one perspective and not be able to judge people who were coming at you. / the object and the goal was being able to use your creativity and so that's what i do, bottom line. / the same way hip hop is a lifestyle, art is a lifestyle, it’s not a compartment. / i think as black people, because we have a tendency to be in two worlds at one time; go ahead and abhands on so you to getting the a mess and it have in your teachtruth.

we have the tendency to sorb whatever we put our can self learn as opposed degree. the system is depends on who you life as mentors and ers. tell your it makes the most sense.

MR. BOBBY

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29

community can also mean something more intangible, people that have shared interests, shared values, belief systems, taste in music, certain foods

Y O U N G G I F T E D B L A C K & B R O W N

that they're into, certain behaviors. i’m of eritrean descent, east african. / there’s the proverb “it takes a village to raise a child.” i think about community ethnically and culturally. thinking about my ethnic background and how i’m carrying things from my ancestors forward and into my own life and into the lives of others with similar backgrounds. / i think african culture is about cooperation and community and working together. we’re humans and we’re primal by nature, we want to people, that’s how we survive. / problem solving is artistic. find solutions for community and problems through art in an art form. / i’m mostly into documentary work. it’s like being a journalist where you’re investigating and trying to uncover truths.

MULU

be around community trying to issues itself is

the strongest feeling of community i can think of is my church community at home. usually i think of “oh that’s the crew” / i got into djing in ‘98, heard a couple mixtapes got my turntables, started working. ten years later i

LAMAR

started getting paid for it. then i moved

to portland and got a bunch of gigs that weren't paying that much but this thing that i dreamed of as a teenager i’m doing it and it’s great. fast forward til now, i still love it-- it’ like one of those blessings from above. i got this blessing that i was given to do something and actually get paid for it. for seven years i couldn't get hired in portland and djing paid my bills, and that’s kinda tight. / wicky wicky scratchy scratchy / i also just like making things, building speakers. i went to school for furniture design after advertising which i hated. furniture design took me out of depression / i’ve always felt that not just creative people but people in general are meant to bring something into the world. part of my freedom is tapping into the rest of my

Y O U N G G I F T E D B L A C K & B R O W N

faceted creative outputs. maybe that won't bring me anything else but the joy of sitting around my place collected dust, but at least it was there.

31

you hold your community inside of you but you can always find a community somewhere. so it

Y O U N G G I F T E D B L A C K

always turns into something different depending on where you go and what point you are in your life. a support system that helps you to grow and you help to grow. like a plant food system. / what really drives me, what i re-

VAUGHN

ally love putting

out into the universe is music. i

love singing and writing songs because i feel like i’m able to transmit that happiness that i feel from doing that to people when i perform. i’m like, “look at us loving each other in this room together!” that’s my art, making music where i can connect with other people so they can see that the things that

& make them different are B R O W N

actually things that everybody is going through. multiplicity is a full life. / it’s telling myself that it’s okay to be all parts of myself - to express those parts of myself because

that’s important to me because i feel like all those multiple pieces make the whole. i like the possibilities of music. there's just so many different things you can do, i want to keep discovering all those things and building with other people. i use my photography as a form of resistance and activism for myself. mainly when i’m feeling some type a way i can go out and put a shoot together that’s going to be really powerful and say something. it’s healing for me. i’ve been working on a project called “women of color in portland”. i’m building community where i’m reaching out to women that i didn’t know before and doing a photoshoot with them that's very intimate. i get to know them and find out really amazing things about them. for me it’s knowing that i possibly could help someone thats going through something through my art and continuing to inspire people to do their art-- especially the youth. i do get burnt out and tired but i just have to keep going because the work i’m doing is important.

RENÉE

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33

i have different communities. i have my music

Y O U N G

community, i have my education community when it comes to my kids, my work, and then i have a bigger community / one side of the coin is being an artist and musician and being gifted to play music. the other side is being a family man. it’s a balance. / i’ve been a trumpet player since i was

G I F T E D

thirteen (twenty-eight years ago). i’ve worked

B L A C K

tha Franklin / they all

with everyone from Erykah Badu, The Roots, to Charlie Wislon, to Leila Hathway . . .

FARNELL

Stevie Wonder . . . Arekind of helped shape who i am as a musician but also as a person. they taught you life lessons about

& how to conB R O W N

duct yourself and deal with yourself in life, hang out, be a positive influence. / you can’t have music without listeners. i can’t play music without a band. / i try to pay it forward, we’ve got to use all of our resources to help each other out. when we get a little ahead we can’t keep it all to ourselves, we have to share it!

ELLEN KILMER 35

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37

LOVE AT FACE VALUE She loved him, but was blue in the face, tired of fighting.

She said mean things, he said mean things, the words hurt like a slap in the face.

He’d say sorry but then it would happened again.

He became a bold face liar, but she loved him.

Their relationship was blowing up in her face, but he couldn’t see.

Couldn’t see she had had such a long face for some time.

Now she was ready to face the facts, ready to face life head on, alone.

HABBY

KHALIL

43

Here (Kailua, HI) Carson McLeod The leaves went on and faded like a ring from a bell or from a ripple, slow across a pond. That was there.

Here, the forecasts are all the same — there are no seasons.

I've learned that happiness is not this beach with palm trees.

I can smile at the camera, say cheese on three, but in my eyes I see the damned land that made me: The Autumn orchards & Oregon forests; dark Douglas firs & fog, fog, slow & thick.

In winter there are naked maples & their dead leaves rot beside the river. & then there is the rain from the coast to the Cascade range, that hangs grey overhead from ocean, to sky, to gutter & drain. & then as fragile as the flame burning on my desk, there is a momentary caress of rays through still drenched branches, highlighting the rising mist from both river & decay.

Simply, I remember looking out her window, seeing eyes in my slight reflection, & in them the wet ripped leaves lit for an instant beside the river; the mist?

Gaia exhaling.

CHACHA SANDS Founder & Editor-in-Chief "When I was a teenager, I once cut off all my lower eyelashes to be weird."

ZACH WESTERMAN Director of Design & Contributor on page 5 "People tell me I have a good poker face; it's a shame I'm so bad at poker."

BRITT MOHR Art Director & Contributor on page 36-39 "At 11 years old, the first and only physical fight I've been in started because a girl slapped me in the face with her shoes."

REID KILLE Lead Graphic Designer

"My dentist desperately wants to give me braces."

KAILLA COOMES Written Content Director & Contributor on pages 4 / 13 / 45 "I used to hate the freckles that pop up on my face during the summer; now I wish I had them yearround."

NATHAN BERGFELT Graphic Designer

"I have an eclectically extensive hanging mask collection."

STEPHANIE GUY Graphic Designer & Contributor on pages 9-10 / 18-19 "Before I got glasses, running into people I knew was very awkward."

ARIEL WIESER Graphic Designer "I have one of those familiar faces where most people think my name is Rachel."

FOLLOW US @beaconquarterly cribdesignhouse.com

ADRIAN X SANDS VIADUCT, CHICAGO | 2-3

SPECIAL EDITION Y.G.B. 22-34

ARMANDO BRAVO BODIES 10 | 16-17 art-bravo.tumblr.com

NATALIE FIGUEROA Organizer

CARSON MCLEOD HERE (KAILUA, HI) | 44-45 CHAMBERS AUSTELLE A LADY DOESN'T SLURP HER SOUP / RILEY AND BLAIRE | 19-20 chambersaustelle.com DANNY ALTER UNTITLED | 6-7 ELLEN KILMER DON'T LOOK, SUNNY SPRING | 35-36 ellenkilmer.com GRACIE ELLISONSHORTRIDGE UNTITLED | 10-11 gracieellison.com HABBY KHALIL FOLLOW ME, ANGEL, INEVITABLE | 40-43 habbykhalil.com LINNEA HAVENER & NATHAN BERGFELT NO SIGNAL | 38-39 MELISSA GUERRERO SHADOW BOX HOME | 20-21 @melli_g_82 OFF TRACK BOYS OFF TRACK | 47 Photographer Steven Seagal Models Riley Nelson, Cory Power ROZENN LE GALL MACHINE, CHEV, 504 | inside cover, 37, back cover rozennlegallcollages.com SHELLEY GASKE THE FUTURE IS TENSE | 12 TYLER SPANGLER HEAD TOUCHING CIRCUIT, CALCULATE MY SOUL | 9-10 tylerspangler.com

RASHAUNDA BROOKS Organizer DIONA JACKSON Stylist SADÉ BEASELY Artist / Painter JAMAAL HALE Graphic Designer / Artist EMILLY PRADO Writer EMILY LAI Interim ED of Momentum Alliance MICHELLE COMER Travel Portland MAT RANDOL Artist / Rapper BOBBY FOUTHER Artist MULU HABTEMARIAM Artist / Video LAMAR LEROY DJ VAUGHN KIMMONS Singer / Stylist RENÉE LOPEZ Miss Lopez Media Photographer FARNELL NEWTON Trumpeter / Artist EDITORIAL CREDITS: Creative Director: Emmeline Eao Photographer: Rose León MUA: Bemnia & BRANDON SPARKLZ Cover Looks: N'Kossi Boutique de I' Afrique Thank you Y.G.B.!

Crib Design House 126 SW Stark St. Portland, OR 97204 / Short Run Printing, LTD. 3128 W Thomas Rd. #201 Phoenix, AZ 85017 . Copyright 2018 Beacon Magazine. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission is prohibited. ISSN 2472-2529

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