BC Parent Holiday Issue

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Evil Elf

Engaging the daydreamer

WINTER

Activity Guide

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4 Making Room for Nothing

10 Parenting a Perfectionist

18 Engaging the Daydreamer

6 Parenting a Special Needs Child

12 Help Kids Give with Joy

20 Fertility and Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS)

13 Winter Activity Guide 8 Evil Elf

22 Gift Ideas for Tweens and Teens

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BC Parent Newsmagazine

Publisher/Executive Editor: Forrest Phillips

Contributors: Tiffany Doer, Christa Meinyk Hines, Malia Jacobsen, Lara Krupicka, Judy M Miller, Pam Molnar, Dr. Beth Taylor

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Holiday Issue 2014 Volume 23, Number 9

bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2014 3

Making Room ost parents have times where they feel like they have to be There’s the ramped-up competition. The feeling that they have to in multiple places at one time to manage their children’s be in sports before they’re five to get in college.”

But can there be too much? Dr. Grolnick notes, “After school calendars. But what happens when the imagined need activities are wonderful. Research shows kids gain an advantage— becomes real? they do better in school. Really it’s about finding a balance.”

Like a typical mom’s, Hillary Homzie’s schedule for her family Anastasia Gavalas, a mother of five, realized this early on before was a house of cards, a careful stacking of one activity on the other. her children reached kindergarten.

She determined to choose balance Then one day it came toppling down. A change in plans with a carfrom the get go.

Gavalas says she asked herself, “How can I structure pool partner, when all three of her kids had somewhere to be, left my life so it supports what I believe in my heart?” The answer came her scrambling. “I remember dropping off one kid at a swim party in a move from a busy Long Island suburb to the laid-back lifestyle of and not even being able to have the time to arrange how my fifthThe Hamptons.

“I recognized that the competitiveness is not what grader got home,” she explains. She herself had to get to a doctor’s life is all about.

Parents are so fear-based.

We appointment where she was diagnosed with think if we don’t give our kids every experience multiple ailments, brought on by stress. It was Take the time to listen they will miss out or fall behind.” then she realized something had to change.

Homzie’s solution to her crazy schedule was Homzie’s story may sound extreme, but it’s and understand why your to limit her children’s activities. “I just decided more normal than many realize. According to children want to do the that each kid could only do two activities. a research study conducted at the University of things they do.

That’s it.

So even if they loved something they Michigan, children experienced a major increase had to drop it.

I had my kids rank their activiin time spent in structured sports (doubled) ties.”

Her middle child’s schedule was reduced the most, from six between 1981 and 1997. And those numbers continue to rise. Add different activities, most of them two and three times weekly, to in a variety of other extracurricular activities available, and you have two activities. Instead, he found ways to enjoy things like tennis in a recipe for collapse. a casual setting, rather than competitively.

M

Scale Back for Balance

The solution for the craziness? Scale back. Start by searching for ways to leave empty slots on your calendar. Then continue until you’ve reached an equilibrium that satisfies your family.

This may sound like a risky proposition. After all, we’re encouraged to provide our kids with opportunities to learn and grow. Dr. Wendy Grolnick, Professor of Psychology at Clark University and author of Pressured Parents, Stressed-out Kids, says “parents feel a lot of pressure to have their children get involved in a lot of activities.

4 bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2014

Talk it Out

How can you go about freeing up time in your child’s life? Dr. Grolnick advocates talking it out. “I recommend sitting down together with your kids (depending on their age) and picking the activity they love the most. Negotiate how many times a week.”

Take the time to listen and understand why your children want to do the things they do. See if they can find the enjoyment of some scheduled activities through a more unstructured means. Offer to

for Nothing join them. Homzie’s former tennis-playing son now finds time on the court with his dad or a friend.

According to Dr. Grolnick, the amount of sustainable activity will vary by child and family. It’s not about a set number of activities, rather, it’s about that issue of balance. “Some families are in a bunch of activities and are thriving,” she explains.

And as Gavalas learned, a balanced life is an intentional life.

Evaluate your priorities. Probe to find your children’s priorities. Then organize your calendar around those. “Taking stock and evaluating after a season is better than signing up wildly. At that point, parents can realistically talk about what the kids can manage,” says Gavalas.

Grolnick. “If they’re too scheduled they don’t have the space to find what will hook them. If you have to push them to do things they don’t feel good about, it’s counterproductive. If you give them space they will gravitate toward something.”

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Enjoy the Downtime

The results are priceless. Homzie noticed the change in her highly active middle son. “Now he’s seeing the light and is talking about the need to have downtime. He’s no longer asking me if he can do fencing or whatever sport is next on his list.”

Gavalas’s family is also enjoying the quieter lifestyle. Her eldest daughter volunteers at a horse farm. Her second daughter attends a dance class twice a week. And her sons play two sports each. They have more time for playing and being outside.

Which can be unusual these days. According to the University of Michigan study, children’s time spent in unstructured outdoor activities, such as walking, hiking or camping, fell by 50% over the period of the study. Regaining this freedom is priceless.

Homzie agrees. “Our life is still busy, but there are afternoons when, as a family, we can go for an adventure walk to the top of the small mountain where we live. And the children can actually jump on our trampoline and swing on the swings—in their own backyard!”

Where many people see a slower schedule as a loss of opportunity, Dr. Grolnick notes that it can actually open doorways to opportunity. “Kids will find their passion if they have the space,” says Dr.

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Parenting a child with special needs?

You have special needs, too!

By Judy M. Miller

ine” is a relative term. Any parent of a child with specials needs will tell you that. “Fine” is a day that is fairly calm, without outbursts, temper tantrums, and sensory drama.

“Fine” is when a parent’s well of patience and emotion are not depleted within hours of waking, a day when she is not on the verge of tears, has no more to cry, or tiptoes on the edge of losing it.

I know this because I am the parent of a child with special needs.

Countless times I was judged and questioned about my parenting decisions, by those who know or do not know my child or me.

Their responses ranged from a non-verbal scoff or stare of disbelief to a verbal comment like, “Is she okay?”

And I replied with embarrassment, anger, a need to protect my child, and a desire to draw into myself and disappear, “She’s fine.”

She was, but only I knew that. I spent innumerable dedicated hours, days, weeks, and years with my daughter and her occupational therapist (OT) while we unlocked the spectrum disorder that

F

cocooned my girl and shut her away from herself, her family, the rest of the world, and me.

It used to be that my daughter regularly threw herself on the hardest surface available without warning in order to receive sensory input for her disconnected vestibular system. She lay there screaming and crying at the top of her lungs as she cycled through her process into a calm state. She got up afterwards and acted as if nothing unusual had happened; she flooded during the meltdown had no memory of what had occurred. Sometimes the cycle lasted 15 minutes, but more often than not it was far longer.

I learned to wait patiently and calmly, and to keep a large buffer of time between errands, commitments, and attending to my other kids. I learned that there was nothing I could do to reach my daughter until she came out on the other end.

The painful input made my daughter “fine,” until the next time.

Somehow she never bruised from hurling herself onto the pave-

What You Can Do for Yourself Educate yourself about your child’s special needs.

Knowledge provides understanding. I found that the more I learned about my child’s special needs the more confident I felt about how to help her cope, handle situations, and advocate for her. I was a more effective caregiver.

Consider therapy for yourself.

You need to be as healthy as you can for your child. You can feel a whole range of emotions—anger, fear, and

uncertainty among them. Your emotions are normal.

Get support.

Develop or join a network of parents who have children with special needs. Or ask your child’s occupational therapist or physician for ideas or contacts. Many parents of children with special needs share that they feel isolated.

Ask for help.

Tell your spouse/partner/significant other and friends how you feel.You are the primary

6 bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2014

caregiver, and parenting a child with special needs is emotionally and physically taxing. Others probably don’t have any idea how you are feeling. Tell them how they can help you, like watching your child so that you have time to replenish yourself or offering a listening ear.

Cry.

Stress hormones, found in tears, negatively affect every system and organ in the human body. Crying provides

health by eliminating harmful stress hormones. Haven’t you found that you feel relief after a good cry?

Give yourself personal time.

Walk, write in a journal, or participate in an activity you enjoy. Every day.

Take care of you.

Make sure you are eating food that is healthy, drinking plenty of water, exercising, and getting plenty of sleep.

ment. But I did, again and again-deep raw pain and a throbbing chasm of apprehension that did not begin to dissipate until Carol came into our lives.

Carol was my daughter’s OT and she helped my daughter reintegrate her sensory system over a period of six years. My daughter’s sensory processing system was completely out of sync, exhibiting difficulties with the tactile (touch), vestibular (movement), and proprioceptive (positioning) senses and responding with a combination of hyper- and hyposensitivity. These sensory difficulties affected her speech, hearing and sight as well.

In her infinite wisdom, Carol sat me down one day and gave me a stern talking-to. She pointed out that as my daughter’s system became healthier she became manipulative. And although that was a good sign, a milestone, it was time for me to expect more, to stop enabling my daughter’s behaviour.

Carol went on to say that as the parent of a child with special needs I had special needs too. I needed to look out for and take care of myself. The veneer of my brave face cracked with that simple statement. Tears coursed down my cheeks and the old-as-time mama-guilt loosened its hold on me.

In that moment I realized my mother-love had pushed me to the background. I rarely thought of my needs or myself. I was emotionally spent.

I thought back to how often I felt isolated. My emotional exhaustion took a toll on my health and on my relationships with other family members and close friends. I had let parenting a child with special needs consume me, and it had been easy because I had so much love invested in her.

Today I hold Carol’s sage advice within the invisible pocket of my heart and take heed when I need to. I search for compassion, not pity, understanding, and support, in the form of comfort and a listening ear. And my daughter? She has become even healthier because I have chosen to take care of my needs.

Judy M. Miller works with pre- and adoptive parents, equipping them with new techniques and information and encouraging and empowering adoptive families through difficult times. She is a Certified Gotten Educator and the author of the internationally known parent guide, What to expect From Your Adopted Tween, and a workbook for adopted adults, Writing to Heal Adoption Grief: Making Connections & Moving Forward.

Sensory Processing Disorder, previously known as Sensory Integration Dysfunction

Proper sensory integration involves the neurological processing of information that is received by an individual’s body and the environment. The sensory processing disorder (SPD) is a spectrum disorder, meaning that it has a wide range and distribution of symptoms. SPD occurs when the brain cannot modulate the reciprocal process of intake/organization/ output flow of the sensory information that it is receiving and therefore, the body’s activity level.

SPD Resources and Support:

SPD Foundation, http://spdfoundation.net/about-sensoryprocessing-disorder.html The Out-of-Sync Child, Carol Kranowitz (my “bible”) The Out-of-Sync Child Has Fun, Revised Edition: Activities for Kids with Sensory Processing Disorder, Carol Kranowitz The Sensory Child Gets Organized: Proven Systems for Rigid, Anxious, or Distracted Kids, Carolyn Dalgliesh Sensational Journeys: 48 Personal Stories of Sensory Processing Disorder, edited by Hartley Steiner

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bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2014 7

Evil Elf

By Tiffany Doer

e seemed rather innocuous when we received him. A little guy in a red suit sat in a festive green gift box, accompanied by a picture book. I read aloud from the book about our Elf on the Shelf as I cuddled with the kids in our big, comfy chair. I’m sure we looked just like the ideal family in the picture from a Christmas card.

I held the little elf with the strangely boneless body, gazing into his hard plastic face. According to the book, the elf would watch over my kiddos and remind them to be good throughout the month of December. At night he would fly back to the North Pole and report the children’s behaviour to Santa Claus. Then, in the morning when the little ones awoke, he would be in a different place in the house. He might be in the bathroom to make sure that they brush their teeth, for example. Or perhaps he would double as the dining room table’s centerpiece, making note of who ate their veggies. This passive bribery seemed like a good idea at the time.

Anything to get through the Christmas season. But I had no idea what horrors the next days would bring.

On December first, the children happily greeted the little elf as he sat on the top of the TV. I’d placed him there the night before to remind them of their screen-time limits—a major point of contention between parent and children. To my amazement, that afternoon, they obediently turned off the TV when I asked—the first time. All was well. That night I moved the elf to the kids’ bathroom and left him perched on the sink. My oldest was a little creeped out.

Was he watching her go potty? But the younger ones brushed their teeth with extra care. On the third day, I felt especially clever when I tied the elf ’s floppy red legs in a bow and hung him upside down from the coat rack, to remind the kids to hang their jackets instead of leaving them puddled on the floor. I was feeling pretty proud of myself. That is, until my youngest came home from school.

“Our elf is boring!” he exclaimed. Confused, I asked why. “Johnnie’s

H

8 bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2014

elf is naughty,” my son said. “His elf drew mustaches on the family picture this morning. They found him with a marker in his hand!”

“Yeah!” said my middle child, picking up the story. “And Isabelle’s elf threw toilet paper all over the bathroom!”

“Well, those elves are obviously not setting a good example,” I huffed. “The book says he watches over you and reports to Santa.

Period.”

I adamantly refuse to invent any elf hijinks! I thought.

Each night, I waited until the kids were asleep, then I moved the elf to a new spot. I put him by the bookshelf to remind them to read, and in each child’s bedroom in turn so that they would stay in bed. Unfortunately, I also repeated the bathroom sink, once again freaking my oldest out. It was exhausting.

By the fifteenth, Christmas Chaos was in full swing and the inevitable happened. I forgot to move the elf. That morning, as I clutched my coffee cup in one hand while pouring cereal with the other, I heard, “Hey, the elf is in the same spot as yesterday!”

Crap!

“Maybe he was tired?” I ventured.

My middle child pointed a finger at the youngest. “You touched him, didn’t you!” she accused. “Mommy!” she yelled. “He made the elf lose his magic!”

“What?” I asked, befuddled and barely awake. “What do you mean?”

“Mommy,” she said with exaggerated patience. “The book says if a kid touches the elf he loses his magic.” A lone tear ran down her chubby little cheek. “CHRISTMAS IS RUINED!” The oldest jumped in. “Are you sure you didn’t touch him?” she asked the middle child. At this point, both of the younger kids were crying, all three were fighting, and we hadn’t even had breakfast yet.

“I know!” I exclaimed. “Maybe the elf forgot to reset his watch to Seattle time. He’s still on North Pole time!”

“But he’s not wearing a watch,” my youngest sniffed.

“I meant his internal clock!” I said, desperately. “I’ll bet when you get home from school he will have moved.”

I managed to calm everyone down, and when the kids arrived home that afternoon, the elf had indeed moved to a different viewing area. Crisis averted. Or so I thought.

“Janie’s elf baked her cookies!” my daughter reported on Saturday morning.

“Yeah,” my son added. “And Joseph’s elf wrote him a note!”

“Sophie’s elf used garland as a zip line!” my oldest chimed in.

What the heck? I thought. That wasn’t in the book.

That night, I researched Elf on the Shelf ideas in the Internet. My mouth fell open as I perused Pinterest. I scrolled through pictures of elves wearing tiny little homemade clothes, creating edible bracelets made with cereal, having marshmallow snowball fights with Barbie, and decorating everything from the house to the tree.

My anger grew.

I held the elf in my fist, the cheap fabric on his body already pilling. Whose idea was this? Like I didn’t have enough on my plate with the decorating, shopping, wrapping and other items on my ever-expanding Christmas To-Do list! Now I was supposed to not only remember to move the stupid elf each night, but also set up little elf tableaus.

Oh, I’ll do something creative with our elf, I fumed. Like put him through the paper shredder. Or perhaps he could bungee jump with a candy cane and a licorice stick into the burning flames of the fireplace!

That night, instead of sugar plums dancing through my head, I

dreamed of evil elves stomping on my Christmas dreams.

A few nights later, my youngest walked in and saw the elf lying face down on the rug. I’d tossed him there after realizing I’d run out of ideas. And besides—I swear he was mocking me.

“Elf hurt?” my son asked, his lower lip quivering.

“No, baby,” I soothed. “The elf is just taking a break!” Then I patted my baby’s head, gave him a drink and sent him to bed. I was starting to empathize with the Grinch. Only instead of my heart growing three sizes, it was shrinking.

I started marking the days of the calendar with big, red “Xs.” The kids thought I was marking the days until Christmas, but I was really counting down until I could get rid of the little red bastard.

My husband accused me of getting “obsessed.” He was right.

We made it through December twenty-fifth with the elf doing nothing more exciting than sitting around, much to my children’s disappointment. Immediately after Christmas, I wrapped the demon elf in the crumpled wrapping paper and disposed of his body in the bottom of the trash can. It had to be done. I didn’t know what I would tell the kids, but I had eleven months to think about it. At least for the time being, the elf was dispatched and all was well.

On January sixth, a package arrived. My youngest recognized his name on the packing label, and tore into the box before I had a chance to look it over. I opened the card he had tossed aside, and read it as he ripped open the box.

“I saw this cute little guy, and I just couldn’t resist!” read the note from my aunt. “I’ll bet your kids will have so much fun with… ” “Mommy!” he exclaimed. “It’s another Elf on the Shelf!”

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bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2014 9

mistakes are our friends. We learn from them.”

Kelly Arabie, a mom of two, works to pass this attitude along to her kids. “The faith journey I’ve been on has taught me that life is very much a process and that I’m not going to be perfect as long as I’m living.

It’s a gift I can give my children to be able to share that with them.”

Occasionally point out a mistake you made to your child. Talk about the outcome—that it didn’t derail life and that it doesn’t reflect poorly on you. Explain what you’ll do to correct the mistake or what you plan to do differently the next time. Let your child see you learn from your mistake.

This goes for owning up to imperfect parenting too. Allowing your child to let you off the hook for a mistake made toward him helps him develop a tolerance and compassion toward others’ blunders. It can also help him understand that others will want to show the same compassion for his errors. Ultimately he’ll learn to be compassionate toward himself.

Focus on the Process Not the Outcome

Parenting a Perfectionist

By Lara Krupicka

C

lothes having to match. Toys arranged in neat rows. Outbursts over not being able to get a task right the first time. These behaviours can indicate to parents that they may have a perfectionist on their hands, for better or worse. Perfectionists have high standards. Perfectionists can be driven to achieve. But they can also get tied up in knots over their expectations of themselves. And as psychologist Madeline Levine suggests in her book Teach Your Children Well, performance-oriented children, “are so afraid of failing that they challenge themselves far less, take fewer risks, and therefore limit opportunities for growth.”

How can parents recognize a perfectionist tendency in their child? And what actions can they take to help their child do 10 bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2014

their best without getting hung up on “best” never being good enough? A few experts and moms offer their advice: Model Making Mistakes

The truth is, as adults we can also struggle with setting our standards too high for ourselves, and our children. We may not handle our own failure well, unwittingly communicating a negative attitude toward mistakes. Instead we can help our children by admitting our own behaviour needs an adjustment.

“You don’t want to stress that children shouldn’t make mistakes in the first place,” says Dr. Wendy Grolnick, psychologist and author of Pressured Parents, Stressed-Out Kids. “You want to have the attitude that

Perfectionists tend to be most concerned about the end product. Oftentimes a perfectionist will redo work over and over in an attempt to achieve a flawless result. But they miss the enjoyment of learning along the way.

Kathryn Johnson’s son, Alex, is a hardworking student who takes this approach.

“I see him striving to do his best,” she says.

“But it borders on constant dissatisfaction.

He always thinks, ‘I can do better.’”

Unfortunately, these children don’t always gain much for their efforts: a York University study of elementary and middleschool students found that perfectionists didn’t score any better than their peers.

But don’t tell a perfectionist that. Their competitive nature will only push them harder toward the goal of doing better than others. Of course, as Dr. Grolnick points out, our outcome-based academic culture isn’t helping them any either.

“There’s more competition than ever before. There’s more stress on grades and standardized test scores. It is a setup for kids focusing on outcomes.”

Parents can help by encouraging the child to recognize his growth and what he has learned from an assignment or task. Instead of asking ‘what grade did you get’ ask ‘what

did you learn about today,’ or ‘what stood out from the unit you just completed.’

“I would like to see learning as a lifetime process and help my children to see that as well,” says Arabie.

Which makes it important for parents to talk about what they’re learning too.

Children appreciate seeing that mom and dad, who they might think know it all, are still acquiring knowledge and skills. And they’re still enjoying the act of learning itself.

A focus on outcomes also plays out in an aversion to challenges. Perfectionists will stick with tasks they’re sure to complete well, instead of delving into new territory.

It’s up to parents to notice this behaviour and assist their child in combating it.

Dr. Levine notes, “The best way we can help our children welcome challenges is to encourage them to work just outside their comfort zone, stand by to lend a hand when needed, and model enthusiasm for challenging tasks.”

“A lot of it was encouraging him to stop working on something,” she says. “We had to help him realize that at some point he’d wreck his work in trying to fix it.”

Letting go has been central in his adjustments. And learning to pick a stopping point.

Otherwise, as she puts it, “where does it end?”

Try setting a deadline for completing a task. Use a timer during homework.

Parents may also find their child letting natural deadlines speed up their work— pro crastination can be common among perfectionists. For a procrastinator, chunk projects into smaller pieces and set minideadlines for achieving each of those chunks.

Perfectionists also need to learn to live with their own limits. This means acknowledging that the ideal in their head may not be possible in this world. A good phrase to teach a perfectionist to say to himself is: “This is the best I can do for now,” promoting the idea that improvement is always possible.

Live with Limits

Validate the Child for Who He Is

Johnson found it helped her son when she set limits for completing tasks.

Parents can inadvertently communicate that they value accomplishment and results, what

Grolnick calls “contingent parental regard” by giving more attention when a child performs well, and less when they don’t. It’s easy to slip into when we want to praise a child for work well done. But it can work against us when the child associates the praise with being valued for what they do.

Let your child know your love is unconditional. Be vocal about it.

Grolnick says parents should tell their kids, “You’re no less loved if you don’t do something perfectly.”

Arabie echoes this in how she talks with her children. She’ll tell them, “I love you for who you are and not what you do.”

It may take being specific, such as telling your child that it’s okay that they struggle in a certain area or that a B or C grade is just fine.

As you implement any or all of these strategies remember: parenting any child, perfectionist or not, is an imperfect job done by imperfect people. Which makes each of us practically perfect for doing it.

Lara Krupicka is a freelance writer, mom to three girls and sometimes perfectionist herself.

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Enjoy the Present: Help Kids Give with Joy

By Malia Jacobson arenthood gives the term “generosity” a whole new meaning, especially around the holidays. As parents, we enjoy giving to our children (even when it involves building a three-level dollhouse with a working elevator at 12:47 a.m. on December 25). But our children may not always receive gifts with grace, or give with a generous spirit. Here’s an age-by-age guide to raising kids who give from the heart.

P

Preschool years 2–5: Gift wrap

Don’t expect toddlers and preschoolers to enjoy the annual ritual of shopping for and

giving gifts to others, says parent educator and mom of five Vicki Hoefle, author of Duct Tape Parenting. With a still-underconstruction sense of empathy, young children simply don’t yet understand the joy of giving, because they can’t conceptualize others’ feelings.

Adults can help tots learn to enjoy giving gifts as much as they enjoy receiving them, though. “If young children watch important adults in their lives give gifts with joy, over time they will begin to model this behaviour,” says Hoefle. And don’t reprimand a young child who tries to help you open a gift from him. Including the child in the gift-opening experiencing allows him to experience the joy of giving with an important adult in his life. Eventually, he’ll begin to understand the sincere joy of giving a meaningful gift to someone he cares about.

Elementary years 6–12: Give and take

As school-age kids become more aware of and interested in material possessions, parents can take steps to prevent an avalanche

If young children watch important adults in their lives give gifts with joy, over time they will begin to model this behaviour.

of “I want!” from burying the entire season.

When kids start dreaming up their own most-wanted gift list, promote a balanced sense of give-and-take by asking kids to write down what they plan to give to others, enlisting siblings in “secret” missions to uncover a brother or sister’s toy wishes, and asking kids to help plan a homemade holiday gift to give to neighbors and teachers.

As school friendships blossom, holiday gifting can stir up hurt feelings—who hasn’t experienced the embarrassment of a onesided gift exchange? If a child gives a gift to a friend but doesn’t receive one in return, embrace the teachable moment, says Greensboro, North Carolina parent coach Auria Chamberlain, LCSW. “Begin with an open dialogue with the child, and acknowledge feelings of being upset. Help your child remember the joy she gets from the friendship, and remind her that a present isn’t given with an expectation of getting one back.”

Teen years 13–18: Giving spirit

Teens can and should take responsibility for planning and buying gifts with their own money, says Hoefle. In fact, doing so is central to becoming mature, thoughtful givers.

Paying for the gifts teens give others, micromanaging what they buy, or simply writing their name on a present they had no part in picking out undermines their investment— and enjoyment—in the holiday season.

Volunteering with teens is a fun, meaningful way to shift the holiday spotlight off gifts and onto helping others. A teen can helm an “adopt a family” project at home, school, or church, or help bake cookies or sort clothes and toys to donate to a local shelter. Teens can plan a day to prepare holiday cards and care packages for overseas military or less-fortunate members of their local community, says Chaimberlain. “Giving to charity weaves a deeper meaning into the holidays, and helps kids appreciate all they’ve been given, whether the gifts are big or small.”

Malia Jacobson is a nationally published journalist and mom of three. Her latest book is Sleep Tight, Every Night: Helping Toddlers and Preschoolers Sleep Well Without Tears, Tricks, or Tirades.

12 bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2014

winter activity guide dance

Anna Wyman School of Dance Arts 604/926-6535, West Van

A-Star Performing & Fine Arts Studio 604/266-3053, Vancouver www.astarstudio.com

The Arts Connection 604/241-0141, Richmond www.theartsconnection.ca

Al Mozaico Flamenco Dance Academy 604/671-9182, Vancouver www.mozaicoflamenco.com

Arts Umbrella 604/681-5268 www.artsumbrella.com AUUC School of Dance 604/254-3436 danceschool@auucvancouver.ca www.auucvancouver.ca Experience for yourself the joy and artistry of Ukrainian dance! Quality & creative instruction in Folk-Stage, Ballet & Contemporary Dance.

85 years of arts programs reflecting a modern multicultural experience.

Ages 3 to adult.

Dance Co 604/736-3394, Vancouver www.danceco.com info@danceco.com Dance Co provides unparalleled dance training for all ages and levels.

Providing technique and performance while developing confidence and creativity. Programs start throughout the year, for more information visit our website.

Dance Expressions 604/574-2277, Surrey www.dancexp.com Douglas Ballet Academy 604/420-0204, Vancouver www.douglasballet.homestead. com

Academy of International Dance Arts 604/327-9313 www.academyofinternational dancearts.com Gabriela’s Movement Studio 604/272-0607 www.movementstudio.ca gabriela@movementstudio.ca Goh Ballet Academy 604/872-4014 info@gohballet.com www.gohballet.com Training institute of provincial champions in the Junior, Intermediate & Senior levels as well as International Gold Medal Award Recipients.

Well balanced curriculum, RAD examinations & extensive performance opportunities. hz Ballet Classique 604/299-9698, Burnaby www.balletclassique.com Just for Kicks School of Dance 604/596-4161, Surrey North Shore Academy of Dance 604/987-3814 Northwest Academy of Performing Arts 604/306-7390 www.NAPAdance.com Pacific Dance Arts 604/738-8575 www.pacificdancearts.ca Place des Arts Centre & Music School 604/664-1636, Coquitlam www.placedesarts.ca Place des Arts provides a warm, friendly learning environment where experienced, caring teachers offer instruction in the visual, performing and literary arts for all ages and abilities. Ongoing lessons in music and dance run Sep to Jun, as do our youth (13–17 years) pre-professional Theatre

and Musical Theatre Companies; session classes in music, dance, theatre, visual art and creative writing run fall, winter and spring.

Port Moody School of Dance 604/936-0966 www.portmoodydance.com Surrey Dance Centre 604/599-9961 www.surreydancecentre.com The Landing Dance Centre 604/325-8653 www.thelandingdance.com Tri-City Dance Centre 604/523-6868, Coquitlam www.tricitydance.com Unhinge Dance 778/833-3914 www.unhingedance.ca unhingedance@hotmail.com Vancouver Tap Dance Society 604/253-0293 www.vantapdance.bc.ca Vancouver Academy of Dance 604/231-8293 www.vancouverdance.com Vancouver Academy of Dance offers summer dance camps in ballet, jazz/lyrical, tap, hip hop, acrobatics, ballroom and Chinese Dance at their main location in Richmond.

Westside Dance Centre Ltd 604/736-1000 www.westsidedance.ca We offer great classes in Tap, Jazz, Ballet and Hip hop for kids as young as 3 years old, right up to adults.

music Allegro Music School Inc. 604/327-7765, Vancouver Arbutus Music Academy 604/736-8767 www.arbutusmusicacademy.com

bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2014 13

winter activity guide Colourstrings Music Studio 604/730-5418, Vancouver www.colourstringsvan.com

Noteworthy Music 604/270-3620, Richmond

rentals, repairs & lessons. Our teachers are enthusiastic and active in Vancouver’s musical community. We have lessons for all levels and all ages including summer camps and Suzuki classes.

Delta Community Music School 604/946-1280, Delta

Oakridge Music Studio 604/321-1551 www.omusicstudios.com

Dominanta Music School 604/767-0949, Burnaby www.dominanta.ca

Pacific Academy for Music 604/944-0336, Port Coquitlam www.musicinstructor.net

Jean Lyons School of Music 604/734-4019 www.jeanlyonsmusic.com

Richmond Community Music School 604/272-5227, Richmond www.richmondmusicschool.ca

Pacific Piano Studio 604/329-7290

School of Music and Dance 604/951-3725, Surrey

The Arts Connection 604/241-0141, Richmond www.theartsconnection.ca

Jumpstart Music & Movement 604/777-7179 www.jumpstartmusicand movement.com

Shadbolt Centre for the Arts 604/291-6864, Burnaby

BC Conservatory of Music 604/299-2984, Burnaby www.bcmusic.ca

Langley Community Music School 604/534-2848 www.langleymusic.com

BC Registered Music Teachers Assoc.

604/733-5531 www.bcrmta.bc.ca Visit our website to find a qualified registered music teacher. Be assured of knowledgeable, competent and qualified instruction.

Long & McQuade Music Education Centres www. long-mcquade.com

Place des Arts Art Centre & Music School 604/664-1636 www.placedesarts.ca Place des Arts provides a warm, friendly learning environment where experienced, caring teachers offer instruction in the visual, performing and literary arts for all ages and abilities. Ongoing lessons in music and dance run Sep. to June, as do our youth (13–17 years) pre-professional Theatre and Musical Theatre Companies; session classes in music, dance, theatre, visual art and creative writing run fall, winter and spring.

Campos Music 604/325-0480 Carillon Music 604/591-1161 www.carillonmusic.com

Music for Young Children 800/828-4334 www.myc.com Music Teachers on the Go 778/882-7603 info@musicteachersonthego.com www.musicteachersonthego.com North Shore Music Academy 604/925-3403, North Van

Prussin Music 604/736-3036 www.prussinmusic.com Prussin Music has been serving families since 1985. We offer instrument sales,

Staccato Music Studios 604/421-3753 www.staccatostudios.com Steveston Music Centre 604/271-3545, Steveston Tom Lee Music 604/685-8471, Vancouver www.tomleemusic.ca At Tom Lee Music Learning Centre, you can enjoy excellent music education in a fun community atmosphere. Students of all ages come together for a positive music making experience at our 7 key and satellite locations in Vancouver, plus 2 on Vancouver Island. To register, please call 604.688.8929. Email: music.academy@tomleemusic.ca

20 years Classical Ballet Contemporary Lyrical Jazz Broadway Hip Hop Acro Tap

recreational/competitive/professional

Dance Co provides unparalleled dance training programs for all ages and levels.

Visit us at danceco.com to check out our new programs and spring break camps or to enquire about our year round intake options!

Professional Half-Day Program Auditions January 18th, 2015 email: info@danceco.com 604.736.3394 154-4255 Arbutus St, Vancouver 14 bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2014

winter activity guide Vancouver Academy of Music 604/734-2301 www.vam.bc.ca Kodaly and Orff musicianship classes.

Suzuki violin, viola, piano, cello, and flute. Piano group class (ages 4–9).

Ballet (ages 31/2–18). RCM music history and theory. Private instruction in piano, classical guitar, band and orchestral instruments.

Vancouver Children’s Choir 604/682-3838 www.vancouverchildrenschoir.ca Love to sing? Vancouver Children’s Choir auditioning now! Girls 8–16, Boys 8–12. Call for an appointment.

VSO School of Music 604/915-9300 www.vsoschoolofmusic.ca The VSO School of Music offers: Joyful music learning and playing for all ages and abilities; Early years programs starting from 3 months old; Private lessons in classical, jazz and world music; Ensembles, masterclasses and performance opportunities; Exclusive association with the Vancouver Symphony Orchestra; and flexible payment options.

The Violin ABC’s 778/896-5729 www.violin-abc.com

Western Conservatory of Music 604/530-0317, White Rock

performing & visual arts The Arts Connection 604/241-0141, Richmond www.theartsconnection.ca Arts Umbrella 604/681-5268 www.artsumbrella.com For more than 35 years, Arts Umbrella has proudly provided high quality education in visual, media and performing arts to children and youth throughout Metro Vancouver. Classes available for ages 2–19. Join our community where art comes alive!

Artspace Children’s Arts Centre www.artspaceforchildren.com Carousel Theatre for Young People 604/669-3410 www.carouseltheatre.ca CircusWest 604/252-3679 www.circuswest.com E.J.S. School of Fine Arts 604/596-4883 Gateway Theatre 604/247-4975 www.gatewaytheatre.com

In-Studio Art Classes/ Marta Roberson Smyth 604/254-0961 www.martademaria.com Mentoring children from six to sixteen with personalised instruction in small groups.

JCC Performing Arts School 604/257-5111, Vancouver Performing & Fine Arts Studio 604/266-3053, N. Vancouver Place des Arts 604/664-1636 www.placedesarts.ca Rainbow Art School Ltd. 604/733-9524 rainbowartschool@gmail.com Shadbolt Centre for the Arts 604/291-6864, Burnaby StageCoach Theatre Arts Schools 1-877-787-8243 www.stagecoachschools.ca Sing, Dance, Act! For 4–18 yr olds.

The world’s largest part-time theatre school network, with weekend schools across the Lower Mainland. We offer classes in Singing, Dancing and Drama every weekend alongside the school term as well as week long summer camps. Building confidence in young people since 1988! Come join the fun!

Schools are located in Vancouver

Eastside/Westside, Richmond, Surrey, Coquitlam, Langley, Victoria Surrey Art Gallery 604/501-5566 Vancouver Film School 604/685-5808 Vancouver Youth Theatre 604/877-0678; www.vyt.ca

Busy life?

Have BC Parent delivered to your inbox Visit www.bcparent.ca to subscribe.

bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2014 15

winter activity guide

specialty Bricks 4 Kidz 778/822-5672 www.bricks4kidz.com/vancouver Bricks 4 Kidz® provides programs that inspire kids to learn about architecture, engineering and design concepts while having fun building with LEGO® bricks. Now offering After School Enrichment Classes, Camps and Birthday Parties. Ages 5–12.

Christianne’s Lyceum of Literature and Art 604/733-1356 www.christiannehayward.com The Lyceum encourages young people to see themselves as readers, writers and artists as they engage with abstract ideas and reflect on their own place in society. Programs include: bookclubs, writers’ workshops, literature and art classes and holiday and summer camps.

The Dizzy Whisk – Cooking Classes for Kids 778/998-3530 www.dizzywhisk.com

children ages 7–13 who are above a healthy weight and their families get fitter, healthier and happier. It is a free program starting in September. Please visit www.bchealthykids.ca for a location near you.

Sewing with Frances 604/433-1030 www.francessewingschool.com Vancouver Aquarium 604/659-FISH www.vanaqua.org

sports Aquaventures Swim Centre 604/736-SWIM www.aquaventuresswim.com Award-winning program in tropical warm water.

Atlantis Programs 604/874-6464, Vancouver www.atlantisprograms.com Club Aviva 604/526-4464, Coquitlam www.clubaviva.citysoup.ca

Jump! Gymnastics 604/568-9690 www.jumpgymnastics.ca

Richmond Olympic Oval 778/296-1400 wwwrichmondoval.ca Visit our website for details about our programs.

Kids in Motion 604/970-7945 www.kids-inmotion.ca

Sportball 604/688-3157 www.sportball.ca Sportball is a non-competitive sports program for children 16 months to 12 years. Children are introduced to eight popular sports: soccer, hockey, football, basketball, baseball, volleyball, tennis and golf. Sportball offers weekly programs, outdoor soccer, camps during school holidays, and birthday parties.

Come try a free trial class! See our website for a location near you.

Langley Gymnastics Foundation 604/532-1022 www.langleygymnastics.org The Little Gym of Langley 604/539-2543 www.thelittlegym.com Marina’s Swim School 604/818-4650 www.marinaswimschool.com North Shore Equestrian Centre 604/988-5131 www.wecreateriders.com

UBC Gymnastics 604/822-0207

Quantum Gymnastics Centre 604/465-9293, Maple Ridge www.quantumgym.com

Vancouver Phoenix Gymnastics 604/737-7693 www.phoenixgymnastics.com

Kimiko’s Japanese Kitchen 604/727-5331 www.kimikoskitchen.com

Dynamo Swim Club 778/866-6604 www.dynamoswimclub.net

RBL Basketball 604/269-0221 or 604/253-5295 www.RBLBasketball.ca Instructional programs, leagues, holiday camps for boys and girls from Kindergarten to Grade 10.

MEND MEND is a 10-week family-based education program designed to help

The Edge Climbing Centre 604/984-9080 www.edgeclimbing.com

Richmond Gymnastics Association 604/278-3614 www.richmondgymnastics.com

White Rock Gymnastics 604/542-0386 www.whiterockgymnastics.com

Visit www.bcparent.ca Read our new blogs… catch up on past issues… enter our contests and find out about great family events in the Lower Mainland.

16 bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2014

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Depuis sa création en 1995, le Conseil scolaire francophone de la ColombieBritannique offre des programmes et des services éducatifs valorisant le plein épanouissement et l’identité culturelle des apprenantes et apprenants francophones de la province. Le conseil compte aujourd’hui plus de 4 700 élèves, 37 écoles publiques et dessert plus d’une centaine de communautés réparties dans l’ensemble de la province.

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programme d’enseignement public de la maternelle à la 12e année; ▪ haut niveau de réussite scolaire; services à la petite enfance; ▪ portables pour tous; service de transport scolaire; programme d’anglais de qualité; ▪ programmes de musique, théâtre.

bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2014 17

by Christa Melnyk Hines

Our children are connected to a handheld technology device that gives them one-on-one attention and then we put them in a classroom and ask them to do something very different.

hen my son’s second grade teacher told me that he often appeared to “check out” during the school day, I was concerned. But I wasn’t entirely surprised that my imaginative child would drift off to his dream world, an infinitely more colorful place than a math facts worksheet. Nonetheless, his daydreaming needed to be addressed.

While many dreamers are creative and bright children, they may have trouble getting work done during the school day, struggle with paying attention to the teacher and forget to turn in homework. Worse, they can easily get pegged as slackers.

“The tendency to daydream—though it may be one symptom of Attention Deficit Disorder—does not automatically equal a problem with paying attention when necessary or completing tasks,” writes Amy Fries, author of Daydreams at Work: Wake Up Your Creative Powers. “A child who enjoys daydreaming could well be a budding scientist, writer, artist or visionary entrepreneur.”

Because daydreams play an important role in a

18 bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2014

child’s social-emotional development and creativity, you wouldn’t want to quash a child’s imagination.

Rather, the goal is to help him channel the behaviour to more appropriate times of the day.

Daydreaming isn’t uncommon. A study conducted

by Harvard psychologists found that we tend to daydream about 47 percent of the time. Some of our society’s most innovative change makers, artists and inventors like Thomas Edison, Mark Twain and Albert Einstein were famous daydreamers.

While the future may be bright for dreamers, it is necessary to find ways to help children engage in order to learn and enjoy success in a structured academic environment.

“The daydreamer is usually fascinated by something that’s been said and is off in that world,” says Dr. Gay Lynn Pendleton Smith, assistant dean of the University of Phoenix College of Education.

The secret to reaching a dreamer, she says, is to teach him how to engage outside of his imagination.

“That’s really hard in today’s fast-paced world. Our children are connected to a handheld technology device that gives them one-on-one attention and then we put them in a classroom and ask them to focus on something and do something they haven’t done before. And that’s to engage with a whole group of people and to focus on one individual,” Smith says.

How can you re-engage your daydreamer? Here are a few tips: Ensure quiet observation time. Consider if your child is getting enough time to play quietly on his own. Kids given regular quiet time are more likely to exhibit time management and problem solving abilities.

Time alone also fosters creativity, self-confidence and independence. Plus, solitude gives kids the opportunity to drive their own play without having to compromise or go along with what the group demands.

Seek physical and creative outlets. “Outside activities will satisfy some of that dream mode so that when they get in the classroom they can engage and start to think,” Smith says. Activities like swimming, karate, art, theater or playing an instrument

can nurture concentration skills and provide avenues for self-expression.

Encourage note-taking. Talk to your child’s teacher about having him take notes or write down basic words or pictures describing what the teacher says. Older children can also write down thoughts that come up on an idea pad. That way they won’t lose the thought, but can continue to focus on the teacher or task at hand.

Discuss seating arrangements. Talk to the teacher about seating your child toward the front of the classroom or just off to the side.

By being in the middle of the action, her thoughts may be less likely to wander.

Ask questions. Encourage your child to think of questions she can ask the teacher during instructional time. Also look for opportunities to connect with and listen to your child one-on-one, whether driving in the car or while engaged in a creative process like cooking or baking. Knowing that you are interested in her thoughts may help her feel less inclined to drift off.

If your child continues to struggle with focus and paying attention, consult with your pediatrician.

Signs of inattentiveness disorder, which is on the ADHD spectrum: Does your chlld—

• Get distracted easily, miss details, forget things, and frequently switch from one activity to another?

• Have difficulty focusing on one thing?

• Become bored with a task after only a few minutes, unless they are doing something enjoyable?

• Have difficulty focusing attention on organizing and completing a task or learning something new?

• Have trouble completing or turning in homework assignments, often losing things (e.g., pencils, toys, assignments) needed to complete tasks or activities?

• Not seem to listen when spoken to?

• Daydream, become easily confused, and move slowly?

• Have difficulty processing information as quickly and accurately as others?

• Struggle to follow instructions?

Source: National Institute of Mental Health

Freelance journalist Christa Melnyk Hines and her husband are the parents of two boys. Christa’s latest book is Happy, Healthy & Hyperconnected: Raise a Thoughtful Communicator in a Digital World.

Belonging “It is like when everyone is your best friend for real.” – Ben, age 4 Alderwood House is a nature based, early education program in Richmond, for children 12 months – 5 years.

Rooted in reggio-inspired philosophy, our goal is to foster social emotional learning.

Opening new location in Port Coquitlam, January, 2014!

www.alderwoodhouse.com bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2014 19

Exercise is the healthiest and cheapest way to improve your fertility and decrease pregnancy related risks.

Insulin seems to be a key factor in PCOS. Many women with PCOS have increased insulin resistance. High levels of insulin in the blood lead to the ovaries producing too much androgen. As well, excess insulin leads to excess glucose in the blood and sets the conditions for pre-diabetes, weight gain, and diabesity (diabetes caused by overweight or obesity).

By Dr. Beth Taylor How does insulin affect infertility?

Fertility and Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) he American PCOS Foundation calls polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) the “Silent Killer.” Despite the fact that PCOS affects 8%–12% of women in North America, up to 50% of women with PCOS go undiagnosed according to the PCOS Foundation. This has serious health implications for women as PCOS is a leading cause of infertility and is associated with a number of other health problems, including diabetes, heart disease, and endrometrial cancer. Some of the women that I see in my fertility practice have no idea they have PCOS until they discover they can’t get pregnant.

T

What is PCOS?

PCOS is a condition in which women have high levels of male hormones (androgens).

These hormones play a role in blocking the release of the egg from the follicle and in the overproduction of the female hormone estrogen.

In a normal menstrual cycle, a number of follicles begin to grow. The biggest or “dominant” follicle ruptures and releases the egg. In women with PCOS, however, the high levels of androgens halt the normal hormonal process and the egg’s development.

20 bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2014

As a result, the ovaries fill with cysts or create immature follicles that are unable to generate eggs. This causes infertility as eggs are not released/ovulated regularly. Along with infertility, women with PCOS also have a host of other health concerns, including increased risk of: • High cholesterol • Heart disease • Sleep apnea • Diabetes • Depression and anxiety • Endometrial (uterine) cancer What are the symptoms of PCOS?

The hormonal imbalance and especially the excess of male hormones that characterize PCOS produce a range of symptoms, including: • Irregular or absent periods • Acne • Excessive body hair growth (hirsutism) • High body mass index (BMI) • Belly fat • Depression and anxiety • Hair loss (head) • Pre-diabetic signs • High insulin levels • Infertility

Insulin is a hormone that regulates the change of sugar, starches, and other food into energy for the body’s use or for storage.

Excess insulin causes a rise in male hormones, which can lead to acne, excessive hair growth, weight gain, and ovulation problems.

As well, insulin blocks the liver from producing sex hormone binding globulin— a hormone that restricts which cells are affected by testosterone. As a result, high insulin levels increase the amount of male hormones circulating in the blood and also amplify the effects of these hormones on all the cells. In turn, high levels of insulin stimulate the ovaries to overproduce androgens.

Excess androgens cause the follicles to develop too quickly and then to shut down prematurely before they produce an egg.

To further complicate matters, insulin insensitivity contributes to weight gain, especially in the belly area, and makes it harder to lose the weight. If that wasn’t bad enough, this excess fat sets up a negative feedback system where high blood levels of the fat-derived hormone leptin inhibit the production of female fertility hormones.

How is PCOS diagnosed?

PCOS can be difficult to diagnose because there is no one single diagnostic test and the signs and symptoms vary from patient to patient. Typically tests include: • Hormone testing • Transvaginal sonogram (to examine the ovaries)

Clinically, if you have two out of three of the following symptoms, you will most likely be diagnosed with PCOS: • Irregular, few, or absent menstrual periods.

• Androgen excess—clinical or biochemical (excessive body hair, acne, loss of head hair, increased testosterone in the blood) • Polycystic ovaries—the ovaries of women with PCOS usually have a distinctive appearance on ultrasound.

Treatment Options

There is no magic bullet for treating PCOS and often a combination of treatment strategies is required. The first approach to treating PCOS should be changes in lifestyle, including a low glycemic index (GI) diet to help control insulin levels, regular exercise, and weight loss if you have a BMI over 25.

The good news I convey to my overweight patients with PCOS is that they do not need to lose huge amounts of weight to conceive; they do not need to return to a “normal weight” (typically defined by a BMI of 18–25 kg/m2). One study showed that 40% of women with PCOS with a BMI of 34 who lost just 5% of their body weight got pregnant naturally.1 Weight loss through exercise and diet has been proven to be effective in restoring ovulatory cycles and achieving pregnancy for many of my patients.

What is a low glycemic index?

The glycemic index (GI) is a measurement that ranks carbohydrates based on their ability to raise blood sugar after eating.

Foods with a high GI (all refined carbohydrates, such as flour) break down quickly during digestion, causing a quick spike of

sugar into the bloodstream. The rise in blood sugar results in higher insulin production which, over time, contributes to weight gain and increased diabetes risk.

I don’t suggest that my patients go on a no-carb diet, as this has health problems of its own. Instead I recommend a “slow carb” diet. Slow carbs are a group of carbohydrates that take time to break down and be digested. This means that you don’t get spikes in your blood sugar after eating them. Slow carbs include beans, peas, lentils, whole grains, and most vegetables. Eating slow carbs help to minimize insulin resistance, regulate blood sugar, aid in weight loss, regulate hormones, and prevent diabetes.

Following a low GI slow-carb diet can improve fertility, lower insulin levels, and improve other metabolic markers in women with PCOS. The glycemic index ranges are: Low GI = less than 55 Medium GI = 56–69 High GI = over 70 Exercise

Exercise has been shown to be extremely effective in increasing insulin sensitively.

And it doesn’t need to be super strenuous.

Just moving your body for 30 minutes a day so that you break a little sweat is enough to help reset your insulin sensitivity. So, if you are overweight and have PCOS, get on your bike, go for a walk/run, or hit the pool for a swim. You don’t need to do all three in one day (though there is a nice finisher’s medal if you do!) but you should move and lose weight. It’s the healthiest and cheapest way to improve your fertility and decrease the risks of pregnancy.

Exercise is good for you for a whole lot of reasons: • Burns calories • Builds muscle, which in turn increases insulin sensitivity (reduces insulin resistance) • Reduces insulin levels in the blood • Makes weight loss easier as less glucose is converted to fat • Reduces cortisol and visceral fat (abdominal fat) • Reduces stress and promotes deep relaxation Medication

In addition to diet and exercise, you might also be given one of several drugs to stimulate egg production, such as Clomid, Letrozole, or one of the gonadotropins. Alternatively, you might be given Metformin, a diabetes drug, and/or the supplement myo-inositol to help lower your insulin levels and regularize your cycle.

A final note: if you are overweight and trying to conceive, you should take 5mg of folic acid while trying to get pregnant as well as during pregnancy. Non-obese women need to take just 0.4mg to 1.0mg of folic acid daily. Folic acid can reduce the risk of neural tube defects in the fetus.

1. Moran LJ, Noakes M, Clifton PM, Tomlinson L, Norman RJ. “Dietary composition in restoring reproductive and metabolicphysiology in overweight women with polycystic ovarysyndrome.” J Clin Endocrinol Metab 2003;88:812-819.

Dr. Beth Taylor is co-director of Olive Fertility Centre and Clinical Associate Professor at UBC. Dr. Taylor coordinates the UBC Obstetric & Gynecology residency program “Reproductive Endocrinology & Infertility” rotation. She is an active staff member at BC Women’s Hospital and Vancouver General Hospital and performs surgery at both of these centres.

Available to all K-12 students, this learning option is ideal for those who are: travelling home-schooled pursuing athletic or artistic endeavours

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bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2014 21

6

Cool Gift Ideas for Tweens and Teens

By Pam Molnar

It is not a surprise that tweens and teens like to do things with their friends. Encourage interaction with friends beyond social networking and video games and buy them a gift of entertainment. Teens love going to the movies, bowling or to a local pizza restaurant. More active teens may enjoy gifts to go rock climbing or play laser tag.

2. Memory Keepers. A teen’s life is measured in events—choir practices, football games, dances at school or youth group outings. Why not let them preserve the memories of those events by giving them journals, photo albums or frames? A digital frame allows your teen to run a slideshow of their photos and relive those good times every day. A simple scrapbook may be welcomed by a craftier teen to store ticket stubs and concert programs.

3. Cash. You will always get a positive response—and maybe even a smile—when you give the gift of cash. Many teens want to save for a big purchase and money is at the top of their lists. Instead of handing over a card with a check inside, be more creative. Blow up balloons and insert rolled up $1 bills. Make a money tree from a branch, place it in a pot and decorate with money as if it is growing. Tape cash together end to 1. Entertainment.

M

ost of us can relate to the frustrations of a teenager who receives a gift that doesn’t fit their style.

When I was fourteen, my aunt bought me a dictionary for Christmas. I am sure I did my best to look happy and act thankful, but it was not the gift I was hoping for. In fact, the next day, the dictionary was shoved in the bottom drawer of my desk where it remained untouched for a long time.

With the holidays approaching, it is time to think about what to get the tweens and teens in our life. Don’t be fooled into believing that every teenager appreciates the same thing. Like us, they all have their own taste. Although it is hard to compete with the electronics on their wish lists, you can find something within your budget to make them happy.

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22 bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2014

end and roll up inside an empty tissue box.

Stick the end of the money roll out the top so money can continuously pull out.

4. Magazines. There are magazines for every interest, hobby and age group. Whether your teen is an avid reader or just appreciates the pull out posters, magazines are the perfect gift. For the tech savvy teen, consider giving them a digital subscription that they can view on an e-reader. Wrap the current issue of the magazine as your gift and place a little card inside letting them know about their subscription. Your gift will be enjoyed all year long.

5. A Gift for Two. As much as teens like to be with their friends, they value spending time with family members, too. Give them the gift of your time and do something together. Buy two tickets to a play, concert or sporting event and take your teen with you.

Try a spa day or a museum tour. Why not make a day of it by eating dinner out? Print out the brochure from the play, a team logo or museum map to place in a box with an itinerary of your day together.

6. Five-dollar gift cards. If you are still not sure what to get your tween or teen, it’s time to fall back on the gift cards. Why not purchase several $5 gift cards so your teen can enjoy your gift on a few occasions? Five dollars is enough for a latte, a mall pretzel, an ice cream, a sub sandwich or a few items at the dollar store.

This holiday season, deliver the cool gift your tween or teen will use and appreciate.

With a little creativity and a little information about your teen, you are guaranteed to pick something that won’t sit in a drawer with the tags still on it. Adults may say it is the thought that counts, but when you are a teen, it is the gift.

Pam Molnar is a freelance writer and mother of two teens and a tween. These gift suggestions have been approved by the teens who share her home (and everything else she has).

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