BC Parent Fall Issue

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Fall Activity Guide Choosing a daycare

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inside ...

4 My teacher hates me Solving School Struggles

6 Calling all Mavericks Arts in BC Schools

8 Rose coloured onesies Does colour matter?

10 It's a Match Finding an activity that fits

12 Weapons Ban Are toy guns okay?

14 Choosing a daycare That works for you and your child

16 Bladders Matter Do you have an overactive bladder?

18 Say Goodbye to Ghosts And other childhood fears

20 Fall Activity Guide

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Fall Issue 2014 Volume 23, Number 7

bcparent.ca • fall issue 2014 3

Solving School Struggles

By Malia Jacobson

hen a child dislikes a teacher— or feels disliked by one—school becomes a daily struggle. Just ask Constance Zimmer. Her stepston Harrison, now a happy fourth grader, got off on the wrong foot with his first-grade teacher. “He felt picked on and singled out,” she recalls.

“He began to act out in class and refused to participate in projects and assignments.”

Fortunately, teacher-student traumas are often highly fixable. Read on for ways to smooth the bumps for a better school year.

W

Preschool Years 3-5: Slow and Steady

When a preschooler appears to dislike a teacher, Evelyn Addis, longtime early childhood educator and co-author of Monday Morning Leadership, warns parents against jumping the gun and hastily switching classes or schools. When a child first begins preschool, he may be responding negatively to the overwhelming experience of school rather than a specific teacher. “Allow a period of adjustment for your child in any new classroom setting,” says Addis. “It takes time for classes to come together as a group.”

Most schools welcome parents to observe a child’s classroom in action, particularly when a concern arises. But beware: a short classroom observation doesn’t present a true picture of an entire instructional day, and a parent’s presence can alter a child’s behaviour. If complaints about a teacher persist, document your concerns and set up a conference with the teacher. Brainstorm a plan 4 bcparent.ca • fall issue 2014

for addressing the problem areas, along with a plan for daily or weekly communication to monitor the situation, advises Addis.

Grade-School Years 6-12: Detective Duty

When a grade-schooler complains about a super-strict teacher, don’t impulsively jump to calling the principal or filing a complaint, says child and adolescent psychologist Kristen Wynns, Ph.D., founder of Wynns Family Psychology in Cary, North Carolina.

Instead, go into detective mode: gather information about the conflict with a log.

After a few weeks of documenting the problem, request a meeting with the teacher to talk about solution before you consider alternative options like changing teachers.

Sometimes, there’s more to the “mean teacher” situation that meets the eye. Constance Zimmer’s stepson Harrison felt targeted by his teacher, but it turned out that he had undiagnosed attention deficit disorder. “Once the problem was treated, he made progress in leaps and bounds, and realized that it wasn’t a matter of the teacher not liking him, but his own perceptions about his lack of progress in school,” Zimmer says.

Teen Years 13-18: Obstacle Course

Most teens will run into a teacher conflict at some point, says Wynns. “Any parent knows if you go to school long enough, it’s inevitable you’ll have that ‘really mean’ or demanding teacher.” While those experi-

ences aren’t always fun, they can teach teens valuable lessons about dealing with difficult people, she notes.

After ensuring that the class in question isn’t too easy or too advanced for the teen’s academic abilities, Wynns advises parents to avoid automatically “rescuing” teens who find themselves in a tough spot with a teacher. When parents encourage teens to continue in the class instead of granting them the easy way out, (like dropping the course) it conveys a strong message about the parent’s confidence in the teen, says Wynns. Teenagers who see that a parent believes they can handle a tricky situation will often rise to the occasion.

Malia Jacobson is a nationally published freelance writer and mom. Her most recent book is Sleep Tight, Every Night: Helping Toddlers & Preschoolers Sleep Well Without Tears, Tricks, or Tirades.

Resources Check out these books about teachers and students to help foster positive feelings about your child’s instructor.

• My New Teacher and Me! by Al Yankovic and Wes Hargis • First Day Jitters by Julie Danneberg and Judith Dufour Lov • The Best Teacher Ever by Mercer Mayer • Teacher Appreciation Day by Lynn Plourde and Thor Wickstrom • Because of Mr. Terupt by Rob Buyea (chapter book)

Calling all

MAVERICKS

Shifting Perspectives on the Arts in BC Schools

By Terri Anne Wilson he press coverage of public education in BC over the past dren are competitive in the global marketplace, and that they must be few years has not exactly inspired confidence in the overall provided opportunities that allow them to achieve mastery in collabstate of affairs in districts across the province. When the oration, communication, concentration, resilience and ingenuity. We money gets tight, we are presented with alarming headlines want them to be rewarded in the future for their ability to innovate, announcing cuts to jobs, resources and programs. And then of to be creative both individually and collectively, to overcome obstacourse there is the matter of the strike. We all know those headlines cles and to set and achieve goals. We want them to be unorthodox, independent-minded people. We want them to be mavericks. Yet and are experiencing their impact now. we consistently erode the foundation for establishing a What are the broader implications? Let’s begin with a learning environment where these skills can develop. quick pop quiz: when schools are forced to slash budgWe want them There is some good news in all of this. All that is ets, what is the first thing to hit the chopping block? to be mavericks. required is a shift in perspective on how we regard If you answered “the arts,” you would be correct.

Yet we consistently the role of the arts in education. The goals we all However, there is an inherent danger in adopting erode the foundation for want our young people to achieve are attainable a strategy that privileges other subject areas over the establishing a learning through arts integration as an approach to teaching arts, demoting them to the status of “add on” or environment where and learning.

What we need to do is collectively “extra”. Instead of treating the arts as “nice to have”, these skills can acknowledge the need to create the space for it to we should be recognizing them for what they actually develop. thrive.

This means stopping cuts to funds that encourage are: an essential part of educating young people and arts infused learning in schools, and examining how we can a catalyst for creating innovative, engaged and contributing cultivate more dialogue and development around arts integration. members of society.

In basic terms, arts integration requires students to construct An avalanche of research now supports the idea that the arts are and demonstrate their understanding of subject matter through an essential for helping young people prepare for the realities that will face them in the 21st Century. Simply run an online search on “arts art form. For example, a study of cellular structure and cycles which integration” and you will find yourself faced with a wealth of infor- unfolds through dance ensures that students must not only undermation that describes in detail why arts based learning should be a stand the material, but that they must be able to synthesize it and evaluate it in order to represent it though performance. In this case, priority in every education system across the world.

Pundits and parents alike talk about wanting to ensure our chil- students are demonstrating what they know across several subject

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6 bcparent.ca • fall issue 2014

areas, including science, fine arts and social responsibility. Ask them to present a report or reflections on what took place and you’ve invited language arts into the mix. When students are invited to learn in this way, they are much more likely to retain what they have learned and be able to recall and apply it to more complex tasks at a later time. There are a number of reasons why this is an approach parents ought to be asking for in their child’s school. Here are three of the most important: Increased Motivation

When students have the opportunity to learn by engaging in an art form, it motivates them. Why? Because nothing activates learning styles and modalities like the arts can. Students are capable of operating from a number of intelligences across domains. There is no point in only activating one or two in the classroom on a regular basis through traditional teaching models. (In the early 80’s psychologist Howard Gardner began to suggest that we have at least seven distinct intelligences.) Simply put, the arts encourage students’ brains to fire on a lot of different cylinders because it places demands on us that require application and activation of all seven intelligences. This leads to engagement and excitement. When students reach a level of excitement about their learning, it motivates them to learn even more. When they feel motivated and start to have a say in their learning process, students start to enjoy the task of learning. They want to go deeper into the content, discover and experiment. Under these circumstances, if you ask them “What did you do at school today?” you are much more likely to get a candid and enthusiastic answer.

tion. Organizations such as ArtStarts in Schools (artstarts.com) are committed to providing opportunities for artists, teachers and parents to come together to promote the value of the arts in young lives through support and professional development. Visit artsinfusion.ca and join the online community of educators and artists to see some of the fantastic outcomes that are developing through arts infused learning across the province. You will learn more about arts integration, available resources and innovative programs that promote art and creativity in schools across BC and even have the opportunity to reach out to artists and educators already championing this approach to learning in their regions. All schools in BC are eligible for funding that supports arts based experiences for young people in schools. Start a dialogue with your child’s teacher or school principal to find out if they are taking advantage of these opportunities in their district.

The truth is, when the project at hand is to cultivate student achievement and serve every student across all possible learning styles to the best of our ability, there is no single blueprint to follow.

However, we now know that exposing young people to an arts infused approach can establish a sophisticated yet accessible framework for learning that is both inherently natural to them and complex enough to satisfy the rigor required in a first rate school system. When it comes to supporting a shift on perspectives on creativity in our schools, isn’t it time we all started building these opportunities, instead of tearing them down?

Terri Anne Wilson is the Arts Integration Manager at ArtStarts in Schools. For more information on how you can help your child’s school access innovative programs for young people, visit artstarts.com

Enhanced Lived Experience

A good arts integration experience fosters opportunities for learners to construct meaning or interpret reality based upon their experiences.

This means that an individual’s acquisition of knowledge becomes a function of their prior experiences, mental structures, and the beliefs that are used to interpret objects and events. Teaching can be structured to help students relate new knowledge to existing knowledge so that what is learned is meaningful for them. When this happens, recall and application of knowledge improves. Recent studies indicate that this results in improved and longer term retention of content.

Th original The i i l and d largest l gest network netwo of part-time performing arts schools in the world.

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Development of Self-Expression

In his book, The Arts and the Creation of Mind, Elliot Eisner states that “the arts make vivid the fact that neither words in their literal form nor numbers can exhaust what we can know.” It is significant that through an arts based approach to learning, students are able to learn that small differences can have large effects, that the arts can provide a way for them to say what they may not be able to say otherwise (some students are able to demonstrate their mastery of concepts through the arts when they can’t through other channels) and that the arts help us to have experiences we cannot have through other sources.

Become an Arts Champion In Your Child’s School

As a parent, it is possible to get involved in supporting an approach to teaching and learning where your child has the opportunity to meet evolving objectives in both the arts and other subject areas.

Parent Advisory Committees are a great place to start the conversa-

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Rose

coloured onesies

Why it matters what babies wear s soon as parents Marcy and Kyle Naismith discovered they were expecting a boy and a girl—twins— in 2012, their world turned pink and blue.

A stream of gender-specific clothes, toys, and gifts started arriving, clearly intended for a baby girl or a baby boy.

Through Marcy preferred more genderneutral tones like red and orange, she couldn’t always fight the pastel-hued tide.

After Tate and Lucy arrived, Marcy sometimes used colour-coding to keep things like bottles straight. “We tried to steer clear of ‘boy’ and ‘girl’ things, but often, our options were pink and blue,” she recalls. In other words, some gender symbols were all but impossible to avoid.

Society’s ideas about gender shape how even the tiniest babies are dressed, perceived, and treated; in the famous Baby X experiment, adults handled girl infants more often and offered girls more gender-stereotyped toys, while boys were handled less.

Even parents like Marcy and Kyle who want to avoid gender-themed toys and clothes find that pink and blue have a way of

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8 bcparent.ca • fall issue 2014

creeping in, along with frilly princess frocks and ubiquitous sports motifs. So what’s the problem with the pink-blue paradigm?

What’s the harm in letting grandparents buy the baby tiara or the truck-themed bedroom set—do these choices really matter when the child in question is still in diapers?

There’s no way to tell whether a toddler boy who skips Army figures in favour of baby dolls will be gay,

The problem with pink

Jo Paoletti, associate professor of American Studies at University of Maryland and author of Pink and Blue: Telling the Boys from the Girls in America (2012), calls this phenomenon “pinkificiation.” And it matters, she says.

Pinkificiation isn’t about pink—indeed, she notes that pink’s history as a feminine colour in our culture is less than 100 years

By Malia Jacobson old—but about reinforcing a gender binary that validates only certain gender expressions and the people who embody them.

Namely, those at either end of the gender spectrum: hyper-masculine macho men or ultra-feminine girly girls.

Paoletti, who writes the Gender Mystique blog at pinkisforboys.org, notes that “pinkificiation” goes beyond the use of pink for girl’s things—it also narrows choices and exclude gender-neutral options. Kids’ clothes and toys are becoming increasingly gendered, and researchers at National Association for the Education of Young Children report that gendered toys are less educational than gender-neutral playthings.

“Pinkification” also teaches and reinforces stereotypes and limits the way children perceive themselves and others, she says.

And, perhaps most troubling, it excludes children who don’t fit society’s gender mold.

Kids who fall outside the strict frills-orfootball gender framework can feel left out in the cold, says Diane Ehrensaft, Ph.D., director of mental health at the Child and

Adolescent Gender Center in Oakland, California. The second of her two grown children was “a very gender-non-confirming” little boy, she says, with little interest in the trucks and other “boy” things she’d bought.

Meanwhile, her daughter embraced dolls, pink, and all things girly.

“I was committed to gender expansiveness for both my children, with a mixture of all types of toys for them to choose from,” says Ehrensaft. “They took it from there.”

Free choice

As babies grow into toddlers, they begin choosing their own clothes and toys, often along gender lines. A study by the British Psychological Society found that by nine months of age, babies already prefer genderspecific toys and colours, with girls gravitating toward dolls and stuffed animals and boys choosing balls and cars. Similar results have been seen in studies with monkeys, suggesting that preferences for so-called stereotypical playthings might be innate.

So there’s nothing wrong with letting a little girl wear frills and ruffles if she wants to, says Ehrensaft. The problem with pink “princess culture” isn’t necessarily that it limits girls, she says. It’s that it excludes boys.

The fact is, most children love shiny, sparkly things, she says. Who wouldn’t?

Girls should have access to sparkles and frills if they want them, but boys should too.

Parents sometimes cut boys off from this type of self-expression out of misguided fear that their child will “turn out” gay, she says.

Nonsense, she says. “Gender is gender and sex is sex. Think of them as railroad tracks. They’re completely different tracks.

Don’t make them be the same track. You’ll be confused and lose focus of your child.”

There’s no way to tell whether a toddler boy who skips Army figures in favour of baby dolls will be gay, says Ehrensaft. “What you have is a gender-creative little boy. It’s not a sexual identity.”

Trying to suppress a child’s early gender expressions is a losing battle. “Parents can suppress it but they can’t shake it,” notes Ehrensaft. And doing so can cause lasting psychological harm.

For babies and toddlers, more choices mean a more expansive view of themselves and others. The key is offering a spectrum of options, then standing back and respecting the choices kids make, says Virginia Rutter, Ph.D. senior scholar with Council on Contemporary Families, and understanding that you can only engineer your baby’s social world so much.

“You can’t raise your child in a completely gender-neutral world. Some of those influences are going to come in.”

Marcy Naismith is OK with that. Despite having access to both “boy” and “girl” toys, her twins gravitate toward things associated with their own gender: Lucy loves hairstyles and her stuffed bunny, while Tate’s into trucks.

“I want them to know that no matter what gender they are, they can do anything they put their minds to.”

Malia Jacobson is an award-winning health and parenting journalist and mom of three. Her latest book is Sleep Tight, Every Night: Helping Toddlers and Preschoolers Sleep Well Without Tears, Tricks, or Tirades.

Reading list: • Pink and Blue: Telling the Boys from Girls in America by Jo Paoletti • Gender Born, Gender Made:

Raising Healthy GenderNonconforming Children by Diane Ehrensaft P.D. • Raising My Rainbow: Adventures in

Raising a Fabulous, Gender Creative Son by Lori Duron • The Princess Problem: Guiding Our Girls through the Princess-Obsessed Years by Rebecca Hains (Fall 2014) • Pink Brain, Blue Brain: How Small Differences Grow Into Troublesome Gaps — And What We Can Do About It by Lise Elliot • Baby X by Carol A. Seavey et al. http://link.springer.com/article/ 10.1007%2FBF00288004 • What the Research Says: GenderTyped Toys. http://www.naeyc.org/ content/what-research-says-gendertyped-toys • Children Less Than A Year Old

Already Favour Gender-Typical Toys. http://www.medicalnewstoday. com/releases/185670.php

Parent power

The anecdote to limiting gender stereotypes is parent power, says Paoletti. “Parents can insist on more choices for their kids.” bcparent.ca • fall issue 2014 9

It’s a Match!

by Lara Krupicka

Helping your child find a free time activity that fits ccording to the National Center for Education Statistics, Elkind, author of The Power of Play and The Hurried Child. “Kids there is a strong association between kids’ participation in are young. They need to experiment.”

Some circumstances may warrant a “keep at it until…” This extracurricular activities and academic success. But finding works when you want your child to stick out a commitment or stay an activity, club, or sport that fits the child can sometimes be a with an activity long enough to master a specific skill. For example, tricky matter. Just about every mom can attest to the frustration of if your goal for piano lessons is for your child to learn to read music, trying to convince a child to practice an instrument or do their best then communicate that to her. Explain that you’d like her to conwork for a club project. So there’s nothing like having a child tinue piano until she gets through a specific approach an activity with enthusiasm and selfperformance book. motivation.

Elkind suggests parents should, “realize that Want to see more enthusiasm and less frusWhatever your struggle, because a child doesn’t take to something doestration from your child? Here we answer some remember the ultimate n’t mean he or she will never learn commitof your biggest challenges in helping your child goal of free time ment, only that they need to find the right own their free time activities: activities is enjoyment. thing to be committed to.”

If you’re too worried How do you know when to push your child about your child finding What signs can you look for that indicate an to continue at an activity that he’s asked to success, you’re both activity or sport isn’t the right match for your stop, and when to let him quit? child? How about when it’s a good match?

A lot will depend on knowing your child. If he missing out on the fun.

When the activity isn’t a good fit, your child is prone to quit easily, then it may be time to may protest at going to lessons or practices. dig in your heels—but first, you’ll want to ask She’ll give a half-hearted effort toward it. Or on the other end of why he doesn’t want to do it any more and address any issues he’s having that may be causing him to quit. the spectrum, she may be giving it her best but never getting the Otherwise, if your child isn’t engaged in the activity and isn’t hang of it. Then it may be time to take a break from that activity. developing any skills at it, then don’t push him to continue. After Or you may need to find a different instructor or coach whose style two or three seasons of a sport or a year of another activity, your better suits your child. If she’s excited about a sport, but doesn’t child will have mastered the basics and should be ready to learn and have the aptitude, maybe she could try a supporting role, such as grow. If he’s not interested, this won’t happen no matter how much team manager.

When you find a good match (between activity and/or instrucyou push. He’ll just be miserable and could grow to like it even less. tor) things will click. Your child will look forward to practices and “The important thing is to leave doors open,” says David

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10 bcparent.ca • fall issue 2014

meets. You’ll notice steady improvement or development of skills.

And more than likely your child will engage in the activity on his own as well—shooting baskets in the driveway or reading books on robotics in his spare time.

For Gretchen Desch, whose daughter Jenny became an avid swimmer after dabbling in other sports, the difference is noticeable.

“She is the one to say, ‘It’s time to leave for practice.’ She has ownership of that,” says Desch.

If you haven’t found a match yet it’s important to keep on looking. Making a child stick with a sport they’re no good at can cause their confidence to falter and prevents them from finding what they do enjoy. And don’t always assume your non-athletic child is getting exercise by being on a team. Coaches will tell you uninterested players often put forth a minimal amount of effort. Better to get them in a physical pastime they like where they’ll pour on the steam.

“The most effective strategy is to support the child’s natural interests, even if it is not what we would like them to do,” says Elkind.

It can also help to have an outsider’s perspective on your child. If a teacher or coach comments to you on an ability he sees in your child, encourage him to tell the child directly. The external push may be all it takes.

“I had mentioned swim team off and on for years,” says Desch.

“But when her swim teacher suggested she join the team, that’s when she decided to do it.”

Is it ever too late for my child to start a sport or a hobby? I’m afraid if we don’t get him started young, he’ll never catch up to his peers.

Few sports are age dependent. And more often than not, it may be better to wait before starting. Kids need exposure to sports and hobbies, but not necessarily overexposure. Too much of anything can burn kids out.

“There is so much for young children to learn: language, social skills, the physical and natural world. None of that is inborn,” says Elkind. “There is no evidence that starting early has special benefits.”

Instead, let your child lead. Is he interested in building with toy bricks? Take him to the school’s LEGO club. Does she want to join her friends at Girl Scouts? Sign her up. If you’re pushing your child to start something before he’s ready, it may work out. But his lack of readiness also has the potential to hurt his chances of succeeding.

Whatever your struggle, remember the ultimate goal of free time activities is enjoyment. If you’re too worried about your child finding success, you’re both missing out on the fun.

“They are who they are. All you can do is encourage them to bring out the best they can be,” says Desch.

Prompt your child to explore their world and test their interests.

And enjoy the exploration with them. You may find a new hobby or sport to share.

Lara Krupicka is a parenting journalist who loves watching her three daughters try new pursuits and add to their repertoire of interests.

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bcparent.ca • fall issue 2014 11

Weapons Ban: Are toy guns OK?

By Malia Jacobson

M

om Emily Waggoner, a former social worker who runs an inhome daycare, wasn’t crazy about the idea of guns in her home—real or fake.

But one day last summer, her husband Dustin and nine-year-old stepson Will came home with a cadre of toy Nerf artillery.

“Shot gun, sniper, semi-automatic— everything” she says.

Waggoner balked at the pile of foam ammunition. Father and son were happily bonding over their new toys, fashioning armour and shields out of cardboard and duct tape, but sharing a home with all those toy guns still made her squirm.

She was in a bind—one shared by countless modern parents trying to navigate the world of toys, boys, and pretend guns.

When it comes to pretend guns, parents often find themselves at odds with their kids’ natural tendencies, and without much guidance from science. One study by Malcolm Watson at Brandeis University found that toy guns increase aggressive behaviours, but scores of parents, experts, and researchers heartily disagree. And a growing school of thought around child-led play suggests that maybe toy guns have a place in early childhood, after all.

12 bcparent.ca • fall issue 2014

Pointed play

As shootings dominate the news month after month, pretend gun play is has never been more maligned, says Katie Morse, LCSW, a psychotherapist in private practice. Many school districts have a zero-tolerance policy.

In September, an eight-year-old Florida boy was suspended from school for pointing his fingers like a handgun.

You hear ‘Bang bang, I killed you’ and you get overwhelmed with fear about whether he could grow up to be violent.

And then there’s the ick-factor: gun play just plain makes us uncomfortable. “It’s easy to see violence and aggression in society and in the media, and then your sweet, innocent boy is saying ‘bang bang’ and ‘I killed you’ and you get overwhelmed with fear about whether he could grow up to be violent,” says Morse. “As a parent, those are normal, natural responses.”

Even so, our collective discomfort over fake artillery doesn’t stop kids from turning everything they find into a weapon. After

Gloria Lunsford realized that Caleb, 4 and Jacob, 3, didn’t need actual toy guns to lob pretend gunfire at each other, she surrendered, as it were. Now, Lunsford allows pretend guns, “but they cannot point them at people,” she says. “They have to pretend there’s a bad guy to shoot.”

As parents like Waggoner and Lunsford have learned, banning pretend gun play usually doesn’t work. “If your child wants to play guns and you’ve enforced such a ban and think it’s working, you’re probably just not turning around fast enough,” says childled play advocate Jeff A. Johnson, owner of Explorations Early Learning and author of numerous books, including Let Them Play: An Early Learning (Un)Curriculum.

Kids with a drive for pretend gun play will find way to make it happen, says Johnson.

“I’ve seen children chew toast into handguns.”

Another reason parents cringe at pretend gun play: it’s a stubbornly stereotypical “boy” behaviour that persists, even in families that dial down traditional gender roles. Parents who are careful not to impose strict gender paradigms are often dismayed to find that their little boy finds them anyway, racing around the house shooting bad guys with a hairbrush.

Once again, it’s biology 1, parents 0, say neuroscientists Sandra Aamodt and Sam Wang, authors of “Welcome to Your Child’s Brain.” Gender-influenced toy preferences appear across cultures by one year of age; by three, children overwhelmingly choose toys associated with their own gender. Even primates distinguish stereotypical male toys from female ones, according to Aamodt and Wang, male monkeys prefer to play with trucks, and girl monkeys with dolls.

Arms ban

So kids will find a way to conjure up a toy pistol if they want one, and boys will be boys. And parents are just supposed to be okay with this?

It looks that way. While toy gun play can be alarming to parents, it’s usually harmless, says Morse. In fact, many child experts agree that forbidding this type of play only gives pretend guns more power.

“Banning gun play may result in boys hiding it and feeling shameful for their desire to play in this innate way,” she says.

And stripping childhood of gun play doesn’t benefit boys, she notes. Gun play has developmental value, helping boys make sense of their world as they grapple with input about masculinity and power from numerous sources—male role models, TV and movies, friends and schoolmates.

Even though toy gun play appears violent at first glance, parents should peel back the layers of what they’re seeing, says Johnson. “Toy gun play isn’t about violence as much as it is about symbols. Toy weapons are symbols of power, leadership, authority, strength, and control.”

Pretend arms give children the chance to unravel these complicated concepts in the

safe realm of play. “A child crawling on his belly across the yard holding a stick-gun may be processing a pretend death and heroically pursuing a powerful enemy he will confront and defeat,” he says. “As casual observers, this kind of play looks violent and can make us adults feel icky inside, but the learning is rich and valuable.”

Toy weapons are symbols of power, leadership, authority, strength, and control.

So a little “good guy-bad guy” role play is probably harmless, and may even have benefits—but experts say parents can and should set limits around this type of play.

Rule number one: Kids shouldn’t hurt each other during pretend gun battles.

Rules such as not pointing or shooting at others faces and not shooting family members or pets are important in laying the framework for safe imaginary play, says Morse. Parents don’t have to agree to purchase or keep toy guns in the home if they’re uncomfortable about it; kids can get creative with household objects like papertowel rolls or empty soap dispensers.

Keep an eye out for red flags during pretend gun play, like hurting people or animals “accidentally,” lack of remorse or empathy, or other aggressive behaviours.

These are cause for concern, and may warrant a chat with your child’s pediatrician.

Limiting exposure to violent TV programs and video games may be a better way to protect boys from aggressive influences than banning gun play. Research consistently

links violence-glorifying video games with reduced empathy and increased aggression.

A recent study from The Ohio State University showed a clear relationship between violent video games and numbness to the suffering of others. Unlike pretend gun play, violent video media has little to no redeeming learning value, says Morse.

As for Emily Waggoner, she’s slowly warming up to toy weapons. She’s learned to value the bonding experience her husband and stepson share as they build forts and shoot down imaginary invaders. “Toy guns still make me uncomfortable, but that’s my own issue. I’m coming around.”

Malia Jacobson is an award-winning parenting and health journalist and mom of three. Her most recent book is Sleep Tight, Every Night: Helping Toddlers and Preschoolers Sleep Well Without Tears, Tricks, or Tirades.

Kids, play, and toy guns reading list:

By Jeff A. Johnson, owner, Explorations Early Learning • Killing Monsters: Why Children Need Fantasy, Super Heroes, and MakeBelieve Violence by Gerard Jones • The War Play Dilemma: What Every Parent and Teacher Needs to Know

by Diane E. Levin and Nancy CarlssonPaige • Grand Theft Childhood: The Surprising

Truth About Violent Video Games (and what parents can do about it)

by Lawrence Kutner, Ph.D. and Cheryl K. Olson, Sc.D. • Boys: Changing the Classroom, Not the Child by Daniel J. Hodgins • Get Over It! Relearning Guidance Practices by Daniel J. Hodgins • Play: How it Shapes the Brain, Opens

the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul by Stuart Brown,MD

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bcparent.ca • fall issue 2014 13

Choosing a Daycare that Works for Your Child and You

By Judy M. Miller

O

ne of the toughest first decisions I had to make as a new parent-tobe was finding exceptional daycare for my newborn. I had to go back to work six weeks after giving birth so I began my daycare search long before my son was born. I was thankful I did. Many daycares were full and had waiting lists. A number were simply not in our budget. Others did not take such a young infant.

Begin Early

Begin your quest for a daycare as soon as you realize that you will need it. Many daycares require a deposit to hold a place for your child.

If your child has special needs that will need to be addressed, inquire if the daycare can support you in this and whether you will be comfortable. You may want to explore hiring a nanny or an in-home provider.

14 bcparent.ca • fall issue 2014

Ask Those Who Know

I asked daycare-seasoned parents about the daycares they used before I began exploring daycare options. Their input was helped me to decide the environment I wanted my child to be in.

Determine what your parameters are: location, cost, hours and days needed, and in-home versus a church-based or commercial daycare center. Schedule a tour of any daycare that has made it on to your final list of options. Be sure to bring your list of questions with you.

Look for a Nurturing Environment

Children require nurturing to grow healthy minds and bodies. Observe the environment as you tour the home or facility.

What is the daily schedule? How are children treated? What is the caregiver to child ratio? How does the daycare “feel”?

How do the daycare employees transition children into new rooms?

Be Comfortable with the Method of Discipline

Ask how the daycare disciplines a child. If you are not comfortable with their methods, walk.

I did not think about asking about discipline until my son, and only child at that time, was kicked out of daycare at the ripe age of twelve months for biting. I found another in-home daycare for him and tearfully told the caregiver the truth. She gave me a big hug and said, “Well, that’s normal!” My son’s aggression and biting disappeared within days because he was receiving more nurturing. She also had him potty trained at fourteen months. He stayed with her until he began kindergarten.

Pay Attention to Safety and Cleanliness

What are the security procedures? Does the daycare follow them?

Check out the bathrooms. Ask to see the kitchen. Check if the caregivers and other staff members wear gloves when cleaning up bodily fluids. How are the rooms cleaned? Are cots disinfected? Is bedding washed or sent home with you on a consistent basis? Are the tables and other furniture appropriately child-sized? What about the toilets and sinks? What is the outdoor play area like?

vacations and holidays work? What hours is the daycare open? Will the daycare be able to take your child early or keep her late if necessary? If so, what is the charge of doing so?

Understand the Sick Policy

Most daycares are specific about what constitutes a sick child or an infection that will not be allowed in the daycare. A child in my son’s daycare came down with the highly contagious conjunctivitis (also known as pinkeye). I was relieved that the affected child

Assess the Communication Style

was sent home immediately and could not return to daycare until a doctor said he was no longer contagious.

As a parent you hope the daycare will follow the policies they have in place. Understand that adhering to the policy is important not only for your child, but for others as well.

Judy M. Miller is a freelance writer living in the Midwest and a mom to four children, all of whom have spent time in daycare when young. She is the author of What To Expect From Your Adopted Tween and Writing to Heal Adoption Grief: Making Connections & Moving Forward.

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Bladder Matters OAB can affect your quality of life, keeping you from attending social events and other activities.

W

hile playing in the park one day with her 2-year-old daughter, Missy Lavender felt the sudden urge to go—as in to the bathroom. “I had just had my favourite beverage in the world, a Diet Mountain Dew,” says the mom of two. With no restroom in sight, Lavender, then 42, quickly packed up her daughter and raced home. Whew—just in time!

Soon, however, near-accidents like that became increasingly frequent. “I remember Drink Think Many women with OAB will intuitively restrict their fluid intake to avoid going to the bathroom frequently. “Some of my patients will tell me they’re drinking less than 20 ounces per day,” says Dr. Diaz-Valentin. “That’s not good for their health.” Fluid restriction can cause urine to become concentrated, which can irritate the bladder.

While it’s okay to restrict fluid before going somewhere (eg. the mall or out to dinner) and to avoid fluids that trigger urgency (eg. caffeinated beverages like coffee or Diet Mountain Dew) don’t make it part of your daily coping strategy. Drinking plenty of water can dilute toxins and prevent bladder infections from developing. “It’s important to keep the urinary tract well hydrated,” Dr. Diaz-Valentin says.

16 bcparent.ca • fall issue 2014

saying to my doctor, ‘I know every toilet between here and Target. This is really starting to ruin my life. I’m afraid to be intimate with my husband.’ It was getting to be a problem,’” Lavender says.

“It” was overactive bladder (OAB), the condition in which the bladder—a balloonshaped organ that stores and releases urine—misfires. The inside story: “Under normal circumstances, when your bladder is full, it sends a signal to your brain that it’s time to go. In that moment, the urethra— the tube that carries urine from the body— relaxes, then the bladder contracts,” explains Sara Diaz-Valentin, M.D., a board certified OB/GYN and urogynecologist. With OAB, however, the bladder gets the signal to contract at an inappropriate time, such as when you’re nowhere near a restroom. You may leak urine, wet your pants completely—or not. There’s a wet and a dry form of OAB. “You can have the urge to go even if your bladder is empty,” Dr. Diaz-Valentin says.

It’s estimated that 40 percent of North American women live with OAB. You may have the condition if you have to urinate eight or more times a day, urinate two or more times each night, or you feel strong, sudden urges to urinate. OAB is more common during menopause, when estrogen levels plummet. “But even younger women can have symptoms of OAB,” says Elizabeth

By Sandra Gordon

Mueller, M.D., division director of Female Pelvic Medicine and Reconstructive Surgery at Loyola University in Chicago. Giving birth vaginally to a large baby (over 8.8 pounds), having a forceps delivery or a hysterectomy can potentially affect muscles, ligament attachments and nerves in the pelvis to increase the risk of OAB. So can obesity and diabetes. “OAB is common but it doesn’t mean it’s normal,” Dr. Mueller says.

Get Relief

If you think you may have OAB, make a doctor’s appointment, preferably with a specialist. “We encourage women to arm themselves with information, push aside any embarrassment and have a discussion with a urologist or urogynecologist to find the right treatment option for them,” says Lavender, who because of her OAB experience, founded the Women’s Health Foundation (WHF), a non-profit organization dedicated to bringing education, funding and research to the field of women’s pelvic health.

The WHF recently participated in a survey of more than 1,000 women, which revealed that one in five didn’t mention their OAB symptoms to their doctor because they were too embarrassed or nervous to talk about it. Moreover, “only 27 percent of women surveyed said they would actually

call their doctor and schedule an appointment if they were experiencing a strong urge to go, or were leaking urine,” Lavender says. From this we can guess that many women cope for years, not getting the relief that they deserve. OAB can affect your quality of life, keeping you from attending social events and other activities. Don’t wait to get help. “If you’re leaking two to three times a week, that’s enough to seek care,” Dr. Diaz-Valentin says.

Your doctor can properly diagnose OAB and rule out other possible causes of incontinence, such as a urinary tract infection, and likely offer several treatment choices.

“Before your appointment, keep a bladder diary for two or three days,” Dr. Mueller says. “Write down everything you eat and drink. You’ll start to see patterns and it’s a great conversation starter for the physician,” she says. “We can get patients back to a place in which their bladder is no longer ruling their life.” Here’s a round-up of the latest OAB treatment options.

leakage by strengthening those muscles that surround the urinary tract. At first, doing Kegels may take concentrated effort. But to get a feel for the muscles you’ll need to isolate, try to stop the stream while urinating.

Flexing these muscles for 15 to 30 seconds, 30 to 60 times a day can be enough for improvement.

Kegel exercises—contracting

Medication:

the muscles of the pelvic floor—can reduce and prevent

to the bladder to help it relax. There’s an over-the-counter version, the Oyxtrol patch, which delivers oxybutynin, an anticholinergic, through the skin. “Oyxtrol is about 70 percent effective,” says Dr. Diaz-Valentin.

Two of the most common side effects include dry mouth and constipation.

A small amount of Botox (onabotulinumtoxin A) is injected into the bladder to paralyze a portion of it. Botox reduces the urge to go by calming bladder muscles so they contract less often. One dose typically lasts six to nine months before another is needed. It takes four to eight weeks for the drug to reach its full effect. Botox for OAB is reserved for women who tried changing their lifestyle or taking medication to no avail or who can’t take medication. (It’s under those conditions that health insurance companies will pay for the treatment.) Although most women tolerate the treatment well, “Botox is a last resort,” says Dr. Diaz-Valentin.

Botox:

A type of behavioural therapy, bladder retraining gradually teaches you to hold in urine for longer periods of time to prevent emergencies and leaks. You build bladder control by stretching out the time between trips to the bathroom. Holding it longer strengthens pelvic floor muscles.

Bladder retraining:

Collagen therapy: Collagen, a natural tightening agent and protein-based tissue from cows, is injected into the wall of the urethra. Several sessions are usually required. However, collagen can cause an allergic reaction in some women, so you’ll need a skin test before treatment.

A group of drugs called anticholinergics block the nerve signals related

Sandra Gordon is a journalist and author. Her most recent book is Save a Bundle: 50+ Ways to Save Big on Baby Gear.

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www.alderwoodhouse.com bcparent.ca • fall issue 2014 17

Say Goodbye to Ghosts (and other childhood fears)

By Heidi Smith Luedtke, PhD

I

n addition to being a short-order cook, housekeeper, and 24/7 chauffeur, I’m also my kids’ #1 fear-fighter. I check under their beds for bad guys and stick my own arm in the toy bin “to make sure the crab isn’t real.” Almost every day my kids ask for help with scary situations.

My daughter believes zombies live in our attic and my son swears he’s seen a green ghost in my bedroom. I tell them, “Monsters are just pretend,” but neither child believes me. They’re convinced that danger lurks in the darkness.

S

Where Fears Come From

Kids’ fears are as unique as their personalities. Many young kids are afraid of animals and insects (dogs, snakes, spiders), characters in costumes (beware Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny), and things that go bump in the night. Others fear loud noises or believe they’ll be sucked down the toilet when it flushes. Even kids who don’t believe in the boogeyman may fret about schoolyard bullies.

“Some kids are more fearful than others because they are born with a predisposition to worry,” says San Diego, Calif., clinical

cary stories allow kids to practice coping from a safe emotional distance. These books confront kids’ fears head-on without inspiring nightmares.

Story and Picture Books The Dark, Dark Night (2008) by M. Christina Butler and Jane Chapman. A fearful frog mistakes his own shadow for a swamp monster in this sweet read.

Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed (1997) by Barbara Park. Junie scares away an invisible under-bed monster using an ugly school picture of herself as a weapon.

A Not Scary Story about Big Scary Things (2010) by C.K. Williams. A growling monster begs a brave boy to believe in him in this silly story.

Wemberly Worried (2000), by Kevin Henkes. Anxious kids will recognize themselves in Wemberly, a shy white mouse with lots of worries.

18 bcparent.ca • fall issue 2014

psychologist Joanne Wendt, PhD. Other fears grow in response to trauma. For example, a child may start to fear bees after being stung himself or seeing a classmate get stung on the playground. A little information can be dangerous: Kids who learn about killer bees may believe backyard bumblebees are mini-mercenaries.

Adult role models can also fuel kids’ fears. A mom who is deathly afraid of escalators may pass along her anxieties by telling kids moving stairs are slippery and insisting the whole family take the elevator. “Kids look to parents for cues about whether a sit-

Self-help For ages 6-12: What to Do When You Worry Too Much: A Kid’s Guide to Overcoming Anxiety (2005) by Dawn Huebner. This book educates and inspires kids to confront their anxieties with proven cognitive-behavioural techniques.

For ages 9-13: What to Do When You’re Scared and Worried: A Guide for Kids (2004) by James J. Crist. Kids learn practical Fear Chasing and Worry Erasing strategies and find out when to seek expert help for more serious anxiety disorders.

For ages 13 and older: My Anxious Mind: A Teen’s Guide to Managing Anxiety and Panic (2009) by Michael Tompkins, Katherine Martinez and Michael Sloan. Teaches cognitive-behavioural strategies to address fears and phobias and improve interpersonal skills.

uation is safe,” says Tamar Chansky, PhD, author of Freeing Your Child from Anxiety.

“Parents need to be mindful of the signals they send so they don’t send fearful messages about objects or situations that are basically safe, or can be managed,” she says.

Fight Fears Together

Dismissing kids’ concerns isn’t the answer.

“Parents can unintentionally feed kids’ fears by reassuring them they have nothing to worry about,” Wendt warns. The best approach is problem-solving. Here are some ways to do it.

Identify the issue. When your child comes to you for help with a fear, engage in some critical thinking. Questions like “Why are you afraid of this spider?” and “Have you been hurt by a spider in the past?” encourage your child to define her fear more clearly. Once she’s defined her fear, she can start to question its legitimacy.

Teach kids to think twice. First, ask your child what worry is telling him about the situation, using a funny voice or puppet to represent worry. “Then, using his ‘smarter mind,’ ask your child what he really thinks will happen,” Chansky says. A worry might be saying, “The 6th-grade bully will toss me in the trash can,” but your child’s smarter side knows, “The trash can has a locked cover.”

Fight scary with silly. Have your child draw a picture of the thing that scares her. Then, do a goofy makeover. The hairy monster in your daughter’s closet will look a lot less frightening wearing a ballet tutu and hair curlers. Coach your child to imagine the monster slipping on a banana peel or falling off a cliff. “This allows her to take charge of her fear and her imagination,” Chansky says.

Practice self-soothing. Kids can learn breathing and muscle relaxation techniques to calm themselves. The easiest strategy is to breathe slowly while counting to four and breathe out while counting to seven. This focuses your child’s attention and puts him back in control. “Repeating a special word, phrase or affirmation, such as ‘I can handle this,’ also eases anxiety,” Wendt says.

Practice these calming behaviors every day so they become automatic.

Step it up. Use a technique called systematic desensitization to approach the feared situation gradually. “Make a simple drawing of a stairway from the side view and put your

child’s goal at the top,” Chansky says. Then start at the bottom and write in steps from the least to most threatening. For example, a child whose goal is to pet a dog might start by looking at pictures of dogs, visiting a pet store or animal shelter and letting a dog sniff her hand. Remind your child to take deep breaths as anxieties escalate.

Be patient. Forcing kids to confront their fears when they aren’t ready will only increase their anxiety. Talk about your own insecurities and model a courageous approach to the unknown. When your child feels overwhelmed, allow him to step back and observe the scary situation from a distance. Before long, he’ll probably be ready to reengage.

If Ghosts Won’t Go

All kids have occasional worries, but some suffer from intense and persistent fears.

“Anxiety disorders are the most common psychiatric disorders, affecting between 10 and 17% of children and teens,” Chansky says. “They are also the most treatable.”

Using cognitive-behavioural therapy, kids can learn to turn down their over-reactive

emotion systems and teach their brains new tricks.

If your child’s fears keep her from enjoying everyday activities at home and at school, reach out to your pediatrician or school psychologist. A professional fearbuster can help your child say “Boo!” to ghosts and other childhood anxieties.

Outsmart Anxieties Research and logic can help kids shrink fears down to size. “Have your child write down three facts about his feared situation to put it in perspective,” says licensed professional counselor Neil McNerney, LPC, of Reston, Va. A child who is afraid of thunder storms might note: 1) Thunder makes a loud boom, but it can’t hurt me.

2) I can keep myself safer by staying inside during a storm.

3) The odds of being struck by lightning are only 1 in 700,000.

Bottom line: Fear is a healthy response to a dangerous world. Encourage your child to learn from it.

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bcparent.ca • fall issue 2014 19

fall activity guide

dance A-Star Performing & Fine Arts Studio 604/266-3053, Vancouver www.astarstudio.com Al Mozaico Flamenco Dance Academy 604/671-9182, Vancouver www.mozaicoflamenco.com Anna Wyman School of Dance Arts 604/926-6535, West Van The Arts Connection 604/241-0141, Richmond www.theartsconnection.ca Arts Umbrella 604/681-5268 www.artsumbrella.com AUUC School of Dance 604/254-3436 danceschool@auucvancouver.ca www.auucvancouver.ca Experience for yourself the joy and artistry of Ukrainian dance! Quality & creative instruction in Folk-Stage, Ballet & Contemporary Dance.

85 years of arts programs reflecting a modern multicultural experience.

Ages 3 to adult.

Dance Co 604/736-3394, Vancouver www.danceco.com info@danceco.com Dance Co provides unparalleled dance training for all ages and levels. Providing technique and performance while developing confidence and creativity.

Programs start throughout the year, for more information visit our website.

Dance Expressions 604/574-2277, Surrey www.dancexp.com

Douglas Ballet Academy 604/420-0204, Vancouver www.douglasballet.homestead. com Academy of International Dance Arts 604/327-9313 www.academyofinternational dancearts.com Gabriela’s Movement Studio 604/272-0607 www.movementstudio.ca gabriela@movementstudio.ca Goh Ballet Academy 604/872-4014 info@gohballet.com www.gohballet.com Training institute of provincial champions in the Junior, Intermediate & Senior levels as well as International Gold Medal Award Recipients.

Well balanced curriculum, RAD examinations & extensive performance opportunities. hz Ballet Classique 604/299-9698, Burnaby www.balletclassique.com Just for Kicks School of Dance 604/596-4161, Surrey North Shore Academy of Dance 604/987-3814 Northwest Academy of Performing Arts 604/306-7390 www.NAPAdance.com Pacific Dance Arts 604/738-8575 www.pacificdancearts.ca Place des Arts Centre & Music School 604/664-1636, Coquitlam www.placedesarts.ca Place des Arts provides a warm,

20 bcparent.ca • fall issue 2014

friendly learning environment where experienced, caring teachers offer instruction in the visual, performing and literary arts for all ages and abilities. Ongoing lessons in music and dance run Sep to Jun, as do our youth (13–17 years) pre-professional Theatre and Musical Theatre Companies; session classes in music, dance, theatre, visual art and creative writing run fall, winter and spring.

Ballet and Hip hop for kids as young as 3 years old, right up to adults.

Port Moody School of Dance 604/936-0966 www.portmoodydance.com

The Arts Connection 604/241-0141, Richmond www.theartsconnection.ca

Surrey Dance Centre 604/599-9961 www.surreydancecentre.com

BC Conservatory of Music 604/299-2984, Burnaby www.bcmusic.ca

The Landing Dance Centre 604/325-8653 www.thelandingdance.com Tri-City Dance Centre 604/523-6868, Coquitlam www.tricitydance.com Unhinge Dance 778/833-3914 www.unhingedance.ca unhingedance@hotmail.com

music Allegro Music School Inc. 604/327-7765, Vancouver Arbutus Music Academy 604/736-8767 www.arbutusmusicacademy.com

BC Registered Music Teachers Assoc.

604/733-5531 www.bcrmta.bc.ca Visit our website to find a qualified registered music teacher. Be assured of knowledgeable, competent and qualified instruction.

Campos Music 604/325-0480

Vancouver Tap Dance Society 604/253-0293 www.vantapdance.bc.ca

Carillon Music 604/591-1161 www.carillonmusic.com

Vancouver Academy of Dance 604/231-8293 www.vancouverdance.com Vancouver Academy of Dance offers summer dance camps in ballet, jazz/lyrical, tap, hip hop, acrobatics, ballroom and Chinese Dance at their main location in Richmond.

Colourstrings Music Studio 604/730-5418, Vancouver www.colourstringsvan.com

Westside Dance Centre Ltd 604/736-1000 www.westsidedance.ca We offer great classes in Tap, Jazz,

Delta Community Music School 604/946-1280, Delta Dominanta Music School 604/767-0949, Burnaby www.dominanta.ca Jean Lyons School of Music 604/734-4019 www.jeanlyonsmusic.com

fall activity guide Jumpstart Music & Movement 604/777-7179 www.jumpstartmusicand movement.com Langley Community Music School 604/534-2848 www.langleymusic.com Long & McQuade Music Education Centres www. long-mcquade.com Music for Young Children 800/828-4334 www.myc.com Music Teachers on the Go 778/882-7603 info@musicteachersonthego.com www.musicteachersonthego.com North Shore Music Academy 604/925-3403, North Van Noteworthy Music 604/270-3620, Richmond Oakridge Music Studio 604/321-1551 www.omusicstudios.com Pacific Academy for Music 604/944-0336, Port Coquitlam www.musicinstructor.net Pacific Piano Studio 604/329-7290 Place des Arts Art Centre & Music School 604/664-1636 www.placedesarts.ca Place des Arts provides a warm, friendly learning environment where experienced, caring teachers offer instruction in the visual, performing and literary arts for all ages and abilities. Ongoing lessons in music and dance run Sep to Jun, as do our youth (13–17 years) pre-professional Theatre and Musical Theatre Companies; session classes in music, dance, theatre, visual art and creative writing run fall, winter and spring.

Prussin Music 604/736-3036 www.prussinmusic.com Prussin Music has been serving families since 1985. We offer instrument sales, rentals, repairs & lessons. Our teachers are enthusiastic and active in Vancouver’s musical community. We have lessons for all levels and all ages including summer camps and Suzuki classes.

Richmond Community Music School 604/272-5227, Richmond www.richmondmusicschool.ca School of Music and Dance 604/951-3725, Surrey Shadbolt Centre for the Arts 604/291-6864, Burnaby Staccato Music Studios 604/421-3753 www.staccatostudios.com Steveston Music Centre 604/271-3545, Steveston Tom Lee Music 604/685-8471, Vancouver www.tomleemusic.ca At Tom Lee Music Learning Centre, you can enjoy excellent music education in a fun community atmosphere.

Students of all ages come together for a positive music making experience at our 7 key and satellite locations in Vancouver, plus 2 on Vancouver Island. To register, please call 604.688.8929. Email: music.academy@tomleemusic.ca Vancouver Academy of Music 604/734-2301 www.vam.bc.ca Kodaly and Orff musicianship classes.

Suzuki violin, viola, piano, cello, and flute. Piano group class (ages 4–9).

Ballet (ages 31/2–18). RCM music history and theory. Private instruction in piano, classical guitar, band and orchestral instruments.

Vancouver Children’s Choir 604/682-3838 www.vancouverchildrenschoir.ca Love to sing? Vancouver Children’s Choir auditioning now! Girls 8–16, Boys 8–12. Call for an appointment.

E.J.S. School of Fine Arts 604/596-4883

VSO School of Music 604/915-9300 www.vsoschoolofmusic.ca The VSO School of Music offers: Joyful music learning and playing for all ages and abilities; Early years programs starting from 3 months old; Private lessons in classical, jazz and world music; Ensembles, masterclasses and performance opportunities; Exclusive association with the Vancouver Symphony Orchestra; and flexible payment options.

In-Studio Art Classes/ Marta Roberson Smyth 604/254-0961 www.martademaria.com Mentoring children from six to sixteen with personalised instruction in small groups.

Gateway Theatre 604/247-4975 www.gatewaytheatre.com

JCC Performing Arts School 604/257-5111, Vancouver Performing & Fine Arts Studio 604/266-3053, N. Vancouver

The Violin ABC’s 778/896-5729 www.violin-abc.com

Place des Arts 604/664-1636 www.placedesarts.ca

Western Conservatory of Music 604/530-0317, White Rock

Rainbow Art School Ltd. 604/733-9524 rainbowartschool@gmail.com

performing & visual arts

Shadbolt Centre for the Arts 604/291-6864, Burnaby

The Arts Connection 604/241-0141, Richmond www.theartsconnection.ca Arts Umbrella 604/681-5268 www.artsumbrella.com For more than 35 years, Arts Umbrella has proudly provided high quality education in visual, media and performing arts to children and youth throughout Metro Vancouver. Classes available for ages 2–19. Join our community where art comes alive!

Artspace Children’s Arts Centre www.artspaceforchildren.com Carousel Theatre for Young People 604/669-3410 www.carouseltheatre.ca CircusWest 604/252-3679 www.circuswest.com

StageCoach Theatre Arts Schools 1-877-787-8243 www.stagecoachschools.ca Sing, Dance, Act! For 4–18 yr olds.

The world’s largest part-time theatre school network, with weekend schools across the Lower Mainland. We offer classes in Singing, Dancing and Drama every weekend alongside the school term as well as week long summer camps. Building confidence in young people since 1988! Come join the fun!

Schools are located in Vancouver Eastside/Westside, Richmond, Surrey, Coquitlam, Langley, Victoria Surrey Art Gallery 604/501-5566 Vancouver Film School 604/685-5808 Vancouver Youth Theatre 604/877-0678; www.vyt.ca

CONTEST! Win passes to Waiting for August.

Visit www.bcparent.ca to enter.

Contest ends September 20th

Waiting for August (Belgium/Romania) Thrust into the role of stand-in mother at the tender age of 15, Georgina Halmac dwells sardine-can fashion with a handful of energetic rugrats—her five younger siblings—in a social housing condo at the outskirts of Bacau, Romania. Teodora Ana Mihai’s astute, observational documentary gracefully paints a portrait of love and resilience.

Winner, Best International Feature, Hot Docs 2014; Best Docu- mentary, Karlovy Vary 2014.

bcparent.ca • fall issue 2014 21

fall activity guide

specialty Bricks 4 Kidz 778/822-5672 www.bricks4kidz.com/vancouver Bricks 4 KidzŽ provides programs that inspire kids to learn about architecture, engineering and design concepts while having fun building with LEGOŽ bricks. Now offering After School Enrichment Classes, Camps and Birthday Parties. Ages 5–12.

Christianne’s Lyceum of Literature and Art 604/733-1356 www.christiannehayward.com The Lyceum encourages young people to see themselves as readers, writers and artists as they engage with abstract ideas and reflect on their own place in society. Programs include: bookclubs, writers’ workshops, literature and art classes and holiday and summer camps.

The Dizzy Whisk – Cooking Classes for Kids 778/998-3530 www.dizzywhisk.com Kimiko’s Japanese Kitchen 604/727-5331 www.kimikoskitchen.com MEND MEND is a 10-week family-based edu-

cation program designed to help children ages 7–13 who are above a healthy weight and their families get fitter, healthier and happier. It is a free program starting in September. Please visit www.bchealthykids.ca for a location near you.

Sewing with Frances 604/433-1030 www.francessewingschool.com Vancouver Aquarium 604/659-FISH www.vanaqua.org/

sports Aquaventures Swim Centre 604/736-SWIM www.aquaventuresswim.com Award-winning program in tropical warm water.

Atlantis Programs 604/874-6464, Vancouver www.atlantisprograms.com Club Aviva 604/526-4464, Coquitlam www.clubaviva.citysoup.ca Dynamo Swim Club 778/866-6604 www.dynamoswimclub.net

The Edge Climbing Centre 604/984-9080 www.edgeclimbing.com

Richmond Gymnastics Association 604/278-3614 www.richmondgymnastics.com

Jump! Gymnastics 604/568-9690 www.jumpgymnastics.ca

Richmond Olympic Oval 778/296-1400 wwwrichmondoval.ca Visit our website for details about our programs.

Kids in Motion 604/970-7945 www.kids-inmotion.ca Langley Gymnastics Foundation 604/532-1022 www.langleygymnastics.org The Little Gym of Langley 604/539-2543 www.thelittlegym.com Marina’s Swim School 604/818-4650 www.marinaswimschool.com North Shore Equestrian Centre 604/988-5131 www.wecreateriders.com Quantum Gymnastics Centre 604/465-9293, Maple Ridge www.quantumgym.com RBL Basketball 604/269-0221 or 604/253-5295 www.RBLBasketball.ca Instructional programs, leagues, holiday camps for boys and girls from Kindergarten to Grade 10.

Sportball 604/688-3157 www.sportball.ca Sportball is a non-competitive sports program for children 16 months to 12 years. Children are introduced to eight popular sports: soccer, hockey, football, basketball, baseball, volleyball, tennis and golf. Sportball offers weekly programs, outdoor soccer, camps during school holidays, and birthday parties.

Come try a free trial class! See our website for a location near you.

UBC Gymnastics 604/822-0207 Vancouver Phoenix Gymnastics 604/737-7693 www.phoenixgymnastics.com White Rock Gymnastics 604/542-0386 www.whiterockgymnastics.com

Mind Exercise Nutrition

DO IT!!!

MUSIC PROGRAMS

FUN & FREE!

FOR BABIES & CHILDREN

MEND is a 10 week family-based

‡ 3MNTHS - 8YRS old

education program designed to help children above a healthy weight and their IDPLOLHV JHW ÀWWHU KHDOWKLHU DQG KDSSLHU

‡ Colourstrings, Orff and Suzuki classes

Participants will receive a FREE 3 month recreation pass!

‡ Vancouver & Richmond locations

YOUR GIVE A CHILD R OSTE O B BRAIN SIC U M WITH

22 bcparent.ca • fall issue 2014

Abbotsford 604-859-3134 ext. 5297 Chilliwack 604-799-3732

Langley 604-455-8821 New Westminster 604-777-5100 Vancouver 604-320-5826

&DOO WR OHDUQ PRUH DQG UHJLVWHU Visit www.bchealthykids.ca for more information on MEND

REGISTER FOR FALL ONLINE OR BY PHONE www.vsoschoolofmusic.ca

MEND is being offered this September at:

604.915.9300

Let your child’s dental visit be a positive experience.

Prevention and maintenance of good oral health is our focus.

LITTLE SMILES DENTAL CENTRE Dr. Jong Hyun Ban DDS, FRCD(C)

Certified Specialist in Pediatric Dentistry 3770 West 10th Ave Vancouver, BC

www.thelittlesmiles.com

(604) 222-2206

쐍 procedure is the happiness of the child.”

“One test of the correctness of educational – DR. M. MONTESSORI

Offering Lower and Upper Elementary classes 쐍 Enriched Curriculum 쐍 Small class sizes 쐍 Multi age groupings

www.westsidemontessoriacademy.ca 3075 Slocan Street, Vancouver

604 434 9611

Limited space available in Kindergarten 쐍 for the 2014/2015 school year. bcparent.ca • fall issue 2014 23

Waiting for August (Belgium/Romania, 82 mins) Thrust into the ro ole of stand-in mother at the tender age of 15, Georrgin g na Halmac dwells sarrdine-can d fashion with a handful of ener errgetic g rugrats—OLY Ä]L `V\UNLY ZPISPUNZ—in a social housing condo at the outskirts of Bacau, Romania. ;LVKVYH (UH 4POHPZ HZ[\[L VIZLYY]]H[PVUHS KVJ\TLU[HYY` ` NYHJLM\SS` WHPU[Z H WVYY[[YHP[ VM SV]L HUK YLZPSPLUJL Winnerr, Best International tional Featurre, e Hot Docs 2014; Best Documentary y, Karllovy Vary a 2014.

2014 Thu. Sep 25, 10:00 am, Cinematheque

Sat. Sep 27, 4:00 pm, Intl Village 8 Thu. Oct 2, 9:15 pm, Intl Village 8

GENEROUSLLY SPONSORED BY

Living Is Easy with Eyes Closed (Spain, 108 mins)

Behavior (Cuba, 108 mins)

Gente de Bien (Colombia, 102 mins)

:WHPU ( OHWSLZZ ,UNSPZO [LHJOLY 1H]PLY *mTHYH OP[Z [OL YVHK MVY [OL Z[YH^ILYY` Ă„LSKZ VM (STLYPH OVWPUN [V TLL[ OPZ PKVS 1VOU 3LUUVU +H]PK ;Y\LIHÂťZ ^OPTZPJHS KYHTH[PJ JVTLK` PZ KLSPNO[M\SS` \UWYLKPJ[HISL ¸;OPZ ZTHSS NLT VɈLYZ H SV]LS` L]VJH[PVU VM :WHPU HZ ^LSS HZ H [V\JOPUN [YPI\[L [V HU \UMVYNL[[HISL TVment in time...â€?—Hollywood Reporter Reporter. Winnerr, Best Film, Best Screenplay, Best Actorr, Goya Aw wards 2014.

0U H ]PIYHU[S` KLWPJ[LK /H]HUH `LHY VSK *OHSH PUK\Z[YPV\ZS` JHYLZ MVY JHYYPLY WPNLVUZ HUK KVNZ VU OPZ HWHY[TLU[ IHSJVU` ;YV\ISL PZ [OLYLÂťZ LHZ` TVUL` PU KVN Ă„NO[PUN ;OL TVZ[ PTWVY[HU[ JOHTWPVU PU OPZ SPML OV^L]LY PZ OPZ HNPUN [LHJOLY *HYTLSH [OL THY]LSV\Z (SPUH RodrĂ­guez), a woman who refuses to let the IV` MHSS IL[^LLU [OL JYHJRZ HUK LUK\YLZ NV]LYUTLU[ YLWYPZHSZ HZ H YLZ\S[ +PYLJ[VY ,YULZ[V +HYHUHZ KLTVUZ[YH[LZ LX\HS IYH]LY` PU JVUMYVU[PUN *\IHÂťZ ZVJPHS PSSZ Winnerr, Audience Aw ward, MĂĄlaga 2014.

0[Z *OYPZ[THZ PU )VNV[m HUK `LHY VSK ,YPJ OHZ ILLU ZLU[ [V SP]L ^P[O OPZ PTWV]LYPZOLK OHUK`THU MH[OLY >OLU H ^LHS[O` JSPLU[ [HRLZ WP[` VU [OLT HUK PU]P[LZ [OLT [V Z[H` H[ OLY MHTPS`Z JV\U[Y` ]PSSH V]LY [OL OVSPKH`Z [LUZPVUZ HUK KPZJVTMVY[ ZVVU ILNPU [V JYHJRSL L_WVZPUN [OL NHW IL[^LLU *OYPZ[PHU JOHYP[` and the starker realities of the class structure. ¸(U LUNYVZZPUN ZLUZP[P]L HUK HKTPYHIS` U\HUJLK ZVJPHS KYHTH šɏHollywood Reporter

Fri. Oct 3, 1:00 pm, Centre for Arts Wed. Oct 8, 6:00 pm, Centre for Arts

Tue. Oct 7, 9:30 pm, Rio Thu. Oct 9, 1:30 pm, Playhouse

Mon. Sep 29, 3:45 pm, SFU-GCA Fri. Oct 3, 4:15 pm, Rio Mon. Oct 6, 9:00 pm, SFU-GCA

TICKETS Adult $13 / Senior 65+ $11 Weekday Matinee $11 Student Post Secondary $11 VIFF MEMBERSHIP $2

PACKAGES The Taale of the Princess Kaguya (Japan, 137 mins)

The Vancouver Asahi (Japan/Canada, 130 mins)

+PZJV]LYLK PUZPKL H S\TPUV\Z IHTIVV Z[HSR H THNPJHS UL^IVYU SPNO[Z \W [OL SP]LZ VM H JOPSKSLZZ JV\WSLÉŹHUK WLYWSL_LZ [OLT ^P[O [OL SPNO[UPUN ZWLLK ^P[O ^OPJO ZOL JYH^SZ ^HSRZ [HSRZ HUK [YHUZMVYTZ PU[V H JOHYTPUN `V\UN SHK` :[\KPV .OPISPÂťZ V[OLY HUPTL THZ[LY ;HRHhata Isao (.YH]L VM [OL -PYLĂ…PLZ 7VT 7VRV) IV^Z V\[ ^P[O H [LUKLY QV`M\S L_X\PZP[LS` crafted folk tale for all ages.

)HJR PU [OL Z PU =HUJV\]LYÂťZ VSK 1HWHU[V^U H NYV\W VM *HUHKPHU IVYU RPKZ SH\UJOLK [OLPY V^U IHZLIHSS [LHT [OL (ZHOP 0ZOPPÂťZ SH]PZO ZJHSL LU[LY[HPUTLU[ JOYVUPJSLZ [OLPY IH[[SLZ HNHPUZ[ MHPS\YL YHJPZT HUK WYLQ\KPJL HUK [OL IYPLM TVTLU[ VM [YP\TWO [OL` LUQV`LK ILMVYL 7LHYS /HYIVY JOHUNLK L]LY`[OPUN (U LWPJ [HSL YPJO PU O\TV\Y HUK O\THUP[`

Sat. Sep 27, 11:30 am, Centre for Arts

Mon. Sep 29, 6:30 pm, Centre for Arts Sat. Oct 4, 2:30 pm, Centre for Arts Fri. Oct 10, 1:00 pm, Playhouse

5 Ticket Pack $60 5 Ticket Pack Student$50 5 Ticket Pack Senior $50 12 Ticket Pack $144 20 Ticket Pack $220 30 Ticket Pack $300

PASS ES Weekday Matinee $175 Student & Senior $325 Festival $400 / Platinum $900

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