5 minute read
Supporting Student Wellbeing: Cellphone Bans & Growth from Mistakes (The Glen, Fall 2024)
from The Glen, Fall 2024
by Bayview Glen
FOMO and Nomophobia and the Banning of Cellphones in Schools
The banning of cellphones in Ontario schools is a hot topic among students While some children easily adjust to the changes, others view it as unfair and some are even having anxiety over the decision because they are suffering from FOMO (fear of missing out) since they do not have direct phone contact with their friends, and are unable to endlessly peruse social media for updates, news, or research . They are experiencing a sense of loss, especially since cellphones have become a ubiquitous part of our daily lives, and for most of these children, this is the first time they are without their phones This has led to an increase in stress, separation anxiety, and angst But it is not just children who are feeling the impact Some parents are anxious because their children are not easily accessible to them via cellphone while at school
Both children and adults can experience nomophobia (no-mobile phone-phobia), a term coined in the United Kingdom in 2008 Nomophobia is when a person has deep fears that being without a cellphone, or being unable to use it, will affect their daily life They experience feelings of disconnection or unease when they cannot get to use their cellphones Then they become consumed with worry that something bad will happen when they do not have their phones resulting in stress, anxiety, and panic Think about your own response the last time you left your phone at home, or the feeling you get when the battery is dying and you do not have a charger, or when you misplace your dead/silent phone We have all become very attached to our phones
Many children use the phone as a coping mechanism for stress and to address boredom Remind children there are things they can do when they do not have their cellphones For example, they can focus on personal interaction The popularity of cell phones led to the decline in social activities and increased avoidance as many people use them as a distraction and to avoid face to face contact . Without cellphones at school, children get to make more time for social interaction But understand, this could result in increased anxiety for those who are used to being online and now will need time to relearn how to socialize IRL (in real life)
As children come to terms with the changes, show them compassion as they express their emotions in response to the ban Be sure to listen to them and watch how they respond to this new reality They do have the right to feel anxious Keep open communication with your child so you can provide the necessary guidance and support
If you notice your child is experiencing big emotions and obsessively talking about not having access to their phone, you may need to speak to a mental health professional to address those irrational thought patterns that can contribute to maladaptive behaviours The Director of Student Wellbeing is here to provide support and appropriate referrals
Moving Forward from Mistakes or Missteps
Everyone makes mistakes and when we help children recover from theirs, we are helping to build their character and strengthen them But that means adults must fight through any disappointment and be supportive, patient, and understanding Here are some tips to help children move forward and recover after a mistake:
Acknowledge and accept mistakes. Encourage children to take ownership and responsibility for their actions They must be ready to accept the consequences (and parents should be willing to support the school and the consequences that are meted out) .
Problem solving. Help them problem solve, make amends, and take steps towards corrective action so next time they can steer clear of making similar mistakes
Apologize. Giving a sincere apology to those impacted by the mistake is important to restore relationships
Self-reflection. Help them engage in self-reflection to learn what went wrong and why it happened (An understanding of the difference between accountability and responsibility can help with self-reflection)
Self-compassion and forgiveness. Urge them to practice self-compassion, to be kind and to forgive themselves The adults in their lives must work on forgiving them too
Foster a growth mindset. Help children grow from their mistake and see it is an opportunity for learning This will make them stronger and build resilience Don’t forget children learn from what they see, so parents should model resilience and a growth mindset in their own behaviour .
Rebuilding trust. Help children understand the importance of working hard to regain trust and rebuild their reputation
Use positive self-talk/reinforcement. Encourage children to use positive self-talk; acknowledging missteps does not mean putting themselves down Likewise, adults can practice positive reinforcement when they see children making efforts to learn from their mistakes
Give them time. Be patient and never stop encouraging them to work towards positive change
Support. Remind children it is okay to ask for help . Encourage them to reach out to family, trusted adults, teachers, friends or mental health providers for support The Kids Help Phone has counsellors available to children and youth 24 hours a day The Director of Student Wellbeing is available to provide support and appropriate referrals
