Bayou Beat News - November 2022

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November 2022

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Volume 1, Issue 8

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'WEALTH OF ANY KIND IS TO EXTEND YOUR TABLE AND NOT HEIGHTEN YOUR FENCE' HOUSTON WOMAN ON MISSION TO PRESERVE HISTORIC LANDMARK IN FIFTH WARD COMMUNITY

INSIDE THIS EDITION

STOP THE VIOLENCE! MIGOS RAPPER ‘TAKEOFF’ KILLED IN HOUSTON

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HONORING OUR ANCESTORS: A TOOL TO HEAL GENERATIONAL CURSES

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PUBLISHER’S CORNER I

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CEO/Publisher Nakia Cooper Marketing and Development Manager Dana Patterson Distribution Manager Joseph “Shorty” Detiege Senior Writer N.C. Greene Columnist Ikeoma Divine Social Media Andrea Kotova Graphics Nathaniel Greene Photography Natalie Greene Live Correspondent Ciara Ross @Iamciaraross

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Houston Association of Black Journalists

Entertainment Coordinator Cornel Grant IG: @MusicMonopoly Email: info@bayoubeatnews.com Advertisement: info@bayoubeatnews.com Subject line: ADS

t breaks my heart to write this as yet another bright, promising future has been cut short due to unnecessary violence in the streets. "Takeoff,” one-third of the famous rap trio “Migos,” was shot and killed in Houston on Nov. 1.

The rapper, whose real name is Kirsnik Khari Ball, was the youngest member of the group and known as the quiet one.

The other members, Quavo, was his uncle, and Offset was his cousin.

Takeoff and Offset were attending a private party in downtown Houston when some sort of altercation occurred. Someone opened fire and the 28-year-old, who was an innocent bystander, was shot in the head and torso.

Images which rapidly spread across social media showed his anguished uncle and others trying to help him, but nothing could be done.

Offset, who is married to rapper Cardi B, was not in Houston when the tragedy occurred.

In an eerie foreshadow, just a little more than a week before he died, Takeoff said during an interview on the “Drink Champs” podcast that he wanted his fans and loved ones to “give him his flowers now,” rather than when he was gone.

Now, it is a tragic reality. Tributes and throwbacks filled social media timelines showing the joy the Migos brought to others and the joy they shared with one an-

NOV. 8

other. Now, their worlds are upside down.

Quavo may never be able to forget seeing his nephew lifeless on the ground, and Offset may never get over not being with his family in the last days .. and Takeoff will never be on this Earth in the flesh anymore.

WE MUST STOP KILLING EACH OTHER... TOO MUCH VIOLENCE.. TOO MANY INNOCENT PEOPLE DYING...

We can't bring him back...we can only do better going forward.

Father in Heaven, bless our hearts and souls, and bless this family as they are in unimaginable pain.

Love and respect,

Nakia Cooper Publisher, Bayou Beat News President, Houston Association of Black Journalists

2022

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NOVEMBER 2022 | 3

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EDITORIAL

THE ‘SCIENCE’ OF MEN AND VIOLENCE By: Black Pepper

The recent and senseless killing of Kirsnik Khari Ball, aka "Takeoff" of the rap group "Migos," has forced us to examine the science of why some men resort to violence to handle matters versus talking civilly. Is it in our DNA, or a learned behavior?

We send our deepest condolences to the family, friends and fans of this young king gone too soon. RIP Try naming the female mass shooters at schools. Your results will be –1 or ZERO. If we let enough light in to dispel the darkness, it becomes clear that the male brain is prone to act out violently.

Perhaps, we are raising boys wrong. Perhaps rather than raising them to be tough thugs we should have raised them to be accomplished Eagle Scouts.

This argument is for raising boys to model gentleness as strength, and hardness as weakness.

Men, particularly - evolution has equipped us with an insufficiently evolved reptilian part of the brain known as the amygdala. Poor emotional control- impulse control. Weapons of war, such as the AR-15s, give cowards and weak types a lift to act out their rage. * Example, the Incredible Hulk, not Wonder Woman, who proclaims that if the stressors continue, “I will mess some things up and someone up, badly.”

There is research that shows that mass murderers such as Stalin, Hitler, Milosevic, Timothy McVeigh and other remorseless fiends appear to have had a genetic proclivity toward genocidal behavior. Even in the Jewish –Babylonian scripture, book of Genesis, a male-father God goes on a genocidal rampage by annihilating enemies of the

“Chosen People” - men, women, and innocent children.

The constant in all of these carnages is not that weapons are involved, but it is men or immature boys that are wielding the weapons that crush skulls. The brain controls our testosterone and estrogen, but it is the testosterone that leads to loss of impulse control. I have not seen the record of a girl shooting her grandmother in the face and then mercilessly mowing down 19 babies and two adults inside an elementary school in Uvalde, Tex-

as. That crime was committed by a misguided young man.

The three-pound mass of cells that we know as the brain is either a blessing or curse. It could adapt because it is malleable.

This malleable brain is conditioned by our “dog-eat-dog” environment, or our “there is enough love and bread for everyone” environment. If we have an exploitive social system whereby adults oppress children, racial groups oppress racial groups, adults abuse animals, men oppress women, heterosexuals oppress transgenders, etc., it could mean destructive acting out behavior as the brain changes, even though some behavior and personality are indisputably genetic. For example, mathematical and musical

genius often runs in families.

Propensity for breast and ovarian cancers are reputed to have a genetic component. The same is true for hair color, so why not temperament?

Science is crucial to helping us get off this violent merry-go round. I am hoping that the Buffalo and Uvalde shooters’ brains will be donated to science to gain a greater understanding of whether they needed a doctor-psychologist or a priest to diagnose and exorcise their evil. Some people can cut your throat and smile at you at the same time. Perhaps, there is a gene-chromosome that predetermines malevolence.

I remember that 20 years ago, the founder of the local Juneteenth movement, Rep. Al Edwards, God bless his soul, was proposing a scientific remedy to the problem of child rape.

He proposed chemical castration.

Well, it appears to me that if the futility of our interventions continues. We will have to rely on a new GOD-SCIENCE for answers to understand the nature and solution to the problem of human destruction.

Religion has had thousands of years to produce a new mantype and are getting closer to midnight.

As I conclude, I want you to know that I am not feeling good about knowing that I have a bit of Judas and Timothy McVeigh in me...being of the male species.

A solution? Talk to the young men in your lives. When we know better, we do better.

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ON THE BEAT INTERNATIONAL

RUSSIA DENIES BRITTNEY GRINER’S APPEAL By: NNPA WNBA Star and Houston area native Brittney Griner will remain in a Russian prison and serve the bulk of her 9-year sentence following the Moscow Regional Court’s decision to uphold her earlier conviction and sentence.

The court slightly reduced the sentence by granting Griner 1.5 days of time served.

The Phoenix Mercury All-Star has been in custody since Feb. 17.

The decision only hastened fears that Griner would now be sent to one of Russia’s brutal prison colonies, where abuse and even torture reportedly occurs routinely.

“We are aware of the news out of Russia that Brittney Griner will continue to be wrongfully detained under intolerable circumstances after having to undergo another sham judicial proceeding today,” U.S. National Security Adviser Jake Sullivan told reporters.

According to CNN, Sullivan stressed that the Biden administration is working for the release of Griner and Paul Whelan, an ex-Marine who has been detained since 2018.

“The President has demonstrated that he is willing to go to extraordinary lengths and make tough decisions to bring Americans home, as his Administration has done successfully from countries around the world,” Sullivan said.

Biden has offered Russian Viktor Bout, a notorious arms dealer known as “The Merchant of Death,” in exchange for Griner and Whelan but thus far hasn’t been able to strike a deal with Moscow.

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POLITICS

LOCAL

IN DECIDING THE MIDTERM ELECTIONS, BLACK VOTERS AGAIN HOLD THE POWER

HOUSTON RESIDENTS TURN IN 1,200 GUNS DURING ‘MOST SUCCESSFUL’ GUN BUYBACK EVENT IN RECENT US HISTORY

By: NNPA

By: Natalie Greene

In-depth new research examining the priorities and concerns of Black voters over the age of 50 offers optimism and concern for Democrats and Republicans alike as America heads to the polls on Nov. 8.

Individuals aged 50 and over, which includes millions of Black men and women, comprise the largest voting bloc in America and are considered the nation’s most potent voters.

In detailed research conducted shortly before the elections, AARP-sponsored data revealed how older Black voters plan to cast their ballots, their significant concerns, and their likely influence.

“Black voters 50-plus are going to be decisive in key elections across the country.

That’s going to be especially true in the importance of determining control of the Senate,” said Matt Hogan, a partner at Impact Research. “Data does show Republicans are doing a lot better with Black voters 50-plus than they have historically.”

Hogan added, “I think both parties have a real opportunity to boost their margins by protecting social security and Medicare and lowering the cost of prescription drugs.”

Hogan counted as part of the AARP and NNPA Pollster Roundtable that included a particular focus on Black women, a critical cohort often overlooked by political candidates.

“Black women say they are less secure than they expected,” said Margie Omero, a principal at GBAO Strategies, who participated in the poll. “While women over 50 are BLACK VOTERS motivated to vote CONT. PG. 8 by dislike of a

Harris County Commissioner Rodney Ellis said he’s proud that hundreds of residents turned in 1,200 guns for gift cards last month in what officials billed as the most successful single-day Gun Buyback in recent U.S. history.

“Our gun buyback event was an incredible success,” Commissioner Ellis said. “Over 1,200 guns were collected, making this the most successful gun buyback in recent history. It’s clear people are ready to do something about gun violence even when our state won’t.”

Mayor Turner thanked everyone who made the event an overwhelming success.

“This is a demonstration of a collective effort in our city,” Mayor Turner said. “It’s not just HPD, but it’s our elected officials who are working with this. It’s community organizations and faith-based leaders – everybody coming together to make it happen.”

In addition to Commissioner Ellis and Mayor Turner, Houston Police Chief Troy Finner, Congressman Al Green, Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee, Houston City Council Member Tiffany Thomas and state Rep. Gene Wu also supported the event at Metropolitan Transit Authority’s Westchase Park and Ride in Alief.

Said Congresswoman Jackson Lee: “Guns kill innocent children, teenagers, women, men and seniors. Over the years, I have advocated for strong buyback programs. I am delighted to collaborate with the City of Houston and Harris County to continue the successful buyback programs.”

Residents received a $50 gift card for every nonfunctioning gun, $100 for a rifle, $150 for a handgun and $200 for an assault rifle.

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BAYOU HEAT

MARY ELLIS-Eagle Eyez HOUSTON AFROBEATS ARTIST FINDS HER VOICE IN THE SILENCE OF THE PANDEMIC By: N. C. Greene When the world got quiet, Mary Ellis found her voice. The singer, who goes by the name of Eagle Eyez, said the pandemic allowed her to release a passion she had been holding inside since she was a young girl.

The Nigerian mother, who has been in the healthcare industry for the last 12 years, took a leap of faith and is now following her dream.

Being a practical thinker, she did not initially believe music was something she could do because she had no formal training, but the shift COVID-19 brought the world gave her the push she needed to believe in herself and take a chance.

We asked her some questions about her passion and career.

BBN: How did you get into the music industry?

EE: During COVID, the Earth was silent. I always wanted to do music, but I never thought I could sing. We couldn't go to the office anymore so I could sing out loud while working alone at home on my computer. And just by doing that, one day, I

had a song. I liked it and immediately made an appointment with an engineer and a producer. Listening to the recording afterward, I was so proud. I remember driving back from the studio and was like, "Wow, I am singing." It was my ‘Green Card’ of motivation to go forward.

BBN: Explain the sound of your music. What style do you resonate the most with?

EE: Hmmm.. that's somewhat challenging because I am very versatile. I grew up in Belgium before I came to America. Over there, we were into techno, but for my genre today, I am leaning more in Reggaeton and AfroBeats.

I love fast-paced music to move your body and stimulate your mind.

BBN: Where do you get your motivation? Who is your support system while you navigate these unfamiliar waters?

EE: My friends are probably the best supporters for me. I know my family, at first, was like "what is she doing?" but I know it's all catching on. I am just do-

FOLLOW EAGLES EYEZ ON SOCIAL MEDIA: MARY ELLIS-EAGLEEYEZ EAGLEEYEZ1BOSS MARY ELLIS-EAGLEEYEZ ing me, or rather, the NEW me.

BBN: Do you fund all of your own projects?

EE: Yes, for now. I am an independent artist. I even shot my own video in Dubai. It is funny, sometimes you may think you have a plan, but God has a different one and you just have to listen. I had planned a trip to Dubai with a friend to get away from America for a break. The friend ended up canceling, so I decided to go alone. It was then that I realized that it was the perfect place to shoot one of my videos. It was an awesome experience, and I am so glad everything worked out the way it did.

BBN: What's next?

EE: So far, I have released a few singles including “Dopamine,” “Stamina” and “Arab Money,” and am working toward making a full album. I record in Houston, but I have also worked with producers in Germany and Europe.

BBN: What's the ultimate dream?

EE: I really want to use my music to help people. At one point before COVID, I suffered a depression. Mentally and emotionally, I had a lot of stuff going on with me internally and music has freed me. I want to be able to free others.

BBN: And coming out of that depression, how do you feel now?

EE: I am doing something that makes me feel happy. I am really into the Bible and prayer. I grew up as a church girl, doing things the way society wanted, but I've always had a wild girl in me. COVID's silence allowed me to find my way. I grabbed that little girl in me and let her play and have fun.

BBN: How has singing helped you spiritually?

EE: Our life is so busy. As mothers, we run ‘helter-skelter’ and you are not able to discover other parts of yourself. But when everything comes to a standstill, you have time to reflect and do your cleansing.

If you think about it this way, it's like cleaning out your closet. You may find something that you have been looking for or totally forgot about, and that is what finding music was for me.

BBN: Describe yourself in one word.

EE: BOSS. I am also an eagle.

They fly alone, they fly high, they are bold. I have always been like that. I am a very private person, and I don't want to rush things because I still need to learn how to handle this all. I am taking my time and enjoying life.

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COMMUNITY

'WEALTH OF ANY KIND IS TO EXTEND YOUR TABLE AND NOT HEIGHTEN YOUR FENCE' HOUSTON WOMAN ON MISSION TO PRESERVE HISTORIC LANDMARK IN FIFTH WARD COMMUNITY

By: Nakia L. Cooper You know how the saying goes, every person has a story, and every building has a soul.

The soul comes from the hearts of the people who occupy it. When Ashley Ruiz stumbled across a vacant building sitting at 4101 Lyons Avenue, she had no idea that's its "soul" was bred in the love of a couple whose roots run deep, and whose story (albeit unknown to many) transcends time.

The Louis White Grocery Store, which was founded in 1925 and operated for more than 50 years by Louis and his wife, Elnora, quickly became a haven in the community, providing credit, counseling, and medical assistance.

The couple had several other businesses, including apartment homes, and always provided a helping hand to those who fell on hard times. Mrs. White, a Louisiana native who studied nursing after graduating from Houston’s Wheatley High School, often treated the illnesses of people who could not afford to go to the hospital.

She was no pushover, either. Historians note that she was an advocate for the community in the "dawn of Houston’s civil rights movement” and was arrested in the 1940s SCAN ME TO SUBSCRIBE

- at her own store - for "talking back" to a white man. She did not stay jailed long as the Whites were well respected by city officials.

After Louis White died in 1967, Elnora continued to run the store with her son, Carl, until he died in 1984.

Afterward, she leased it out for others to run.

She later died in 2002 at the age of 93.

Eventually, the store became a vacant space, waiting for another loving soul to come along.

Enter Ruiz, a Harris County 911 dispatcher who was looking to start her own business.

"I was basically driving around in 2015. I wanted to flip some houses and make some money and I came across this building.'"

Ruiz jumped on it, purchasing it for $80,000, but before she could sell it, she had a "new development" on the way.

"I got pregnant and found myself in the position of wondering if I could be a mom while still pursuing my dream of being a businesswoman. I decided I could, so I kept my head down and continued working hard and, by the time I looked up, within six years, the

building was paid off," Ruiz said.

Then another development came along.

Representatives from the City of Houston's Preservation Office con-

tacted Ruiz and told her the significance of her property and the people who once owned it.

She said she resonated with Elnora.

"We are both double minorities - she is a Black female, and I am a Hispanic female and we are both entrepreneurs.

She cared about her community, and I care about mine’s."

The native of Denver Harbor, which borders Fifth Ward, wants to pour back into the community that nurtured her as a youth.

"Even though I know I can sell the building and it can change my whole life right now, I realize that I have a piece of property that is way bigger than who I am, and I’m determined to bring it back to life."

Ruiz is now owner of Urban Engaged HTX, LLC., which is a 100% female urban property developer, in addition to Urban Healing HTX, a nonprofit.

Keeping the outer structure of the historic landmark as it was, Ruiz is working to revitalize the inside, using it for

free community workshops from Monday through Thursday, and event space rentals from Friday through Sunday.

She wants to partner with various agencies and businesses to bring educational programs for the youth, including NASA workshops, arts and STEM, in addition to "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" wealth building, selfhelp and enrichment seminars for adults who can benefit. The possibilities are endless, but money is needed.

In addition to searching for resources, Ruiz has been holding annual “I Love the Nickel” block parties to help raise funds. This year’s event was held on Oct. 29.

Her son, Chastin, is her main motivation, and when needing encouragement to keep moving forward, she revisits the words she heard from a Houston pastor on Youtube. "Jerry Flowers said that wealth of any kind is to extend your table and not heighten your fence," she said.

As for Mrs. White, Ruiz says she feels like they are "mirroring hearts" and hopes that she would be proud.

Those wishing to donate, sponsor or partner with Ruiz can visit www. urbanengagedhtx.social for more information.

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NOVEMBER 2022 | 7

I LOVE THE NICKEL BLOCK PARTY

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BLACK VOTERS CONT. candidate, Black women are motivated by civic participation to make their voice heard or because it’s their duty to vote.”

Omero further noted that many Black women over 50 are changing to respond to higher living costs. And similar to other women in the same age bracket, Black women believe that lowering the cost of food, reducing the cost of prescriptions, and protecting Social Security from cuts will help them the most.

In a “She’s the Difference” poll of likely voters, eight in 10 said they support a Democrat on a generic congressional ballot.

The poll outlined that the most important issues determining their vote in November are division in the country, voting rights, and racism.

The poll revealed that twothirds of Black women 50 and older said the U.S. economy is working well for them, a significantly higher percentage than women in that age bracket overall.

At the same time, a plurality said they feel less financially

secure than expected at this stage.

In a survey taken in targeted election districts, Black voters 50-plus in the most competitive House districts for this November’s election currently back a generic Democrat by a 65% – 16% margin over a generic Republican with a substantial 19% undecided.

While 49-points is a significant lead, it represents underperformance by Democrats among Black voters 50-plus compared to recent elections.

Black women 50-plus are more supportive of the generic

Democrat at 69% – 13%, with men preferring the Democrat at 60% – 20%.

Liberals (37% of Black voters 50+) back the Democrat by 87-points, while conservatives (21% of voters) favor the Republican by 15.

While very few moderates (35% of voters) say they would vote for the Republican, 33% are currently undecided. Pollsters found little differences by education, with Republicans doing somewhat better among voters prioritizing economic issues for their vote in November.

WILLOWRIDGE HIGH SCHOOL

Community leaders joined with students, faculty, family and alumni to celebrate days of activities for the 2022 Willowridge High School Homecoming festivities. Check out some of the photos from the high-spirited crew!

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NEWS WITH ATTITUDE

GET OFF THE GAS, PLEASE! MODERN BLACK WOMEN SHOULD NOT HAVE TO ACCEPT LESS TO GET MORE

By: Nycole Hutchens

If you haven’t been living under a rock, you’ve probably heard the story of the couple who experienced their ‘15 minutes of fame’ after going viral for sharing their love story with the world.

In a New York Times article, a 34-year-old woman, who is the VP of a multi-million-dollar company, married a 44-yearold man she met on a dating app after dating for only six months.

After reading that description, many of us were initially applauding our ambitious sister for finding her ‘happily ever after’ until the details of her love story were revealed.

According to NYT, Sharhea Wade had almost given up on Stevenson Boyce, a divorced IT Tech analyst with a child from a previous relationship.

Receiving a phone call from him, on what was the third time, Wade made it clear that if Boyce was contacting her to set up a date only to bail on her, to not “waste his time.”

Boyce had other plans in mind and asked Wade to meet him in the parking lot of a Popeyes Chicken. She did, and after having hours of great conversation, they knew they wanted to be together.

The two moved in together within six months, upon Wade’s insistence, and Boyce proposed a short time later, after being encouraged by his best friend.

But when it comes to the ring, Boyce did not buy it, his friend

did. The article did note that he paid the friend back.

After the NYT article was released, Boyce tweeted, “Met on @Hinge, the rest is history. No pressure on having to take her on any fancy dates or expensive restaurants. Just good ole conversations and alignment with our goals.”

The internet was set afire with mixed emotions, sparking debates on ‘high standards’ vs. ‘low standards.’

One Twitter user @kiarichards tweeted, “NYT wedding announcements are usually endearing and aspirational.

Publishing the Popeyes parking lot engagement story was meant to humble Black women and make them think it’s acceptable to settle for mediocre treatment. Anyway, I won’t be renewing my subscription."

Another commenter remarked, “I’ve been thinking about this too because out of all the Black love stories that’s what they chose to feature?

Also, aren’t those stories usually about old money types like Archibald IV and some heiress getting married? This was a deliberate choice.”

And it went on from there, with another stating, “They really forcing this romanticized struggle love narrative on Black women and it’s disgusting. We are the only women ON THE PLANET expected to settle for

the bottom of the barrel when we are the most paid and educated. It’s gonna be a NO for me.”

This story has so many redflags, themes of perceived desperation by taking on the ‘lead’ of a man and leading him straight to the altar, the ‘low effort’ date in a parking lot and a friend purchasing a ring for the bride. It is seemingly sending a message that Black women should just accept what we can get.

It also exacerbates the constant programming in a male podcast dominated era that exists on the internet.

Titles like, “Modern day wom-

en are delusional” and “Women over 35 are throwaways,” makes you wonder if we are living in a matrix.

Undoubtedly, 400 years of oppression, colorism, racism, sexism, and ageism has been an already humbling experience, so why are our male counterparts adding to the problem and not the solution?

Point blank, plain and simple, women do not have to accept less in order to get more. If anything, women should ‘know their worth’ and add taxes.

Nuff said.

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HEALTH AND WELLNESS

NATIONAL CAREGIVERS MONTH: TIPS FOR THOSE IN VARIOUS ROLES By: Sherea Cary

In 1997, President Bill Clinton proclaimed November to be National Family Caregivers Month to honor more than 50 million caregivers across the country. I am a caregiver. I cared for my father after his cancer diagnosis and I care for my mother, now diagnosed with dementia. Caregivers care for and support elderly parents, spouses suffering from illness, ill children or the disabled. Many caregivers have no formal medical training but aid in administering medication, providing meals, dressing, and bathing. According to the AARP 2020 Caregiving in the U.S. study, more than a third of caregivers are ages 50 to 64, about a quarter are 35 to 49, another quarter are 18 to 34, and 7 percent are 75 or older. It is highly likely you are a caregiver or support a caregiver. Everyone will face caregiving, either as care recipient, caregiver or supporting a caregiver. Caregiving can be overwhelming so here are some tips for the care recipient, caregiver, and supporters of caregivers. Everyone.

1.

CARE RECIPIENT

Co-operate with the caregiver, let the caregiver help. Caregivers are doing what they do out of love. In addition to love, caregivers also feel a sense of duty to the care recipient or loved one, a mother cared for her children, so children feel love and duty to care for the mother.

Think of caregiving like this, caregiving is the caregiver’s opportunity to demonstrate love when caring for the care recipient. Care recipients are not a burden, do not deny caregivers the opportunity to show their love in the action of caregiving.

CONTACT SHEREA CARY

www.ShereaCary.com Author: Next Step Navigation Tool: A Complete Step-ByStep Guide After the Initial Diagnosis of Cancer.

Realtalk for Caregivers – Podcast on Podbean

2.

CAREGIVER

Get organized, assemble all essential paperwork, calendar, medical and prescription records together in one place.

Build a care team. Building a care team requires people and resources, all hands-on deck, kids, college students, middle aged and retirees, there is a job for everyone. Identify exceptional skills and talent of care team members. Give care team members a choice and allow care team members a chance to help. Good care team members change the journey.

Planning is important, base the plan on information and care team members currently available. Use what is on hand and modify, as necessary. Ask for and accept help, when help arrives let the help do it, do not micromanage. Plan for backup, retention, and appreciation. If relying on family as care team members, remember people do not change because of a health crisis. Family members who are unscrupulous are the same when mom is sick, rarely does old behavior change.

Write down the needs of the care recipient? What resources are available to utilize? Remember family and friends are some of our most valuable resources, they want to help, they just need to know what to do. Everyone has a talent, include the talent when assembling help and support. Figure out what is needed to be a successful caregiver.

3.

CAREGIVER SUPPORTER

Give time, allow respite for the caregiver.

Sit with care recipient or go on an outing with the care recipient. Time is a precious gift to caregivers, there is never enough of it. Stop saying “if you need anything call me,” care recipients and caregivers eat every day, bring food. A roasted chicken from Kroger and a bag of salad is a lifesaver in addition to being a meal for a

couple of days. There is always a chore list, do a chore, cut the grass, pick up a few items at the grocery store or dispatch Instacart. Take something off the list of the caregiver. Taking one thing off the caregiver’s list can make a caregiver’s day.

As we roll through National Family Caregivers Month and the holiday season, pledge to implement a few of the suggestions and resources shared in this article. The suggestions are simple, they work, and anyone can do it.

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IKEOMA’S EYE

HONORING OUR ANCESTORS: A TOOL TO HEAL GENERATIONAL CURSES By: Ikeoma Divine

As the days get shorter, this is the season to honor our ancestors. Ancestral reverence has been misconstrued as "devil worship" by those who don't understand. It is not "worshiping," it is a form of honor. It is also practiced in other traditions such as the Mexican "Days of The Dead" and Haitian and New Orleans Voodoo "Fete Gede. " The Mexican tradition is celebrated Oct. 31 – Nov. 3 and Fete Gede is celebrated the entire month of November.

In the process of acknowledging those that came before us, we honor a representation of our roots and ourselves. This encompasses the positive and negative aspects. We are what we come from but that doesn't define our destiny. Epigenetics has proven such. When we understand the traumas and strengths from which we came, we can recognize our triggers and gifts. Knowledge of these aspects and the wisdom to use them will change your life.

Have you ever noticed that you attract the same type of relationships that your parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles have? The dynamics of the relationships are what we're examining.

For instance, if there was a history of physical violence or a lot of infidelity in their marriages and you seem to be experiencing the same type of scenarios in your life, you may be the victim or the aggressor in your relationships.

Either way, the dynamics are the same. If so, how can you change the narrative in your life so that your children and their children won't repeat the same abusive cycles? These answers can be discovered with a combination of therapy and spiritual practice, such as ancestral reverence. Therapy can include seeing a professional who's trained to guide through trauma or a type of artform of expression utilized to work through the emotions that arise as you work on yourself.

This could consist of hobbies that allow us to tap into our creative selves.

One of the first steps to ancestral reverence is setting up an altar or a sacred space that is used to honor those who came before you. Your altar will not look like anyone else's. It's authentic to you and your ancestral lineage.

The four basic elements of setting up an altar include water, earth, fire, and air. Wa-

ter elements could include a glass of water or alcohol. Earth could consist of crystals, a plant, food or incense. Fire is represented with candles. Air is represented when you burn incense or light a candle. Some put pictures of their ancestors on their altar. If you don't know who these people are, you can use a plant. Every time you water the plant or pour libation, you acknowledge your ancestors. Use a cloth to cover the table or area you use. It can be white or whatever color you feel drawn to.

Developing your altar is strictly instinctual. Whatever comes to your mind, you put there.

It's your sacred space to commune with, receive guidance, emotional, spiritual, and mental comfort. Ask your spirit guides to help you on this journey with physical, financial, and mental concerns. This beautiful practice will help you to establish a relationship with your spirit guides on this road called life.

This powerful connection with our spirit guides will eliminate the need to go outside of ourselves and to give our power to those who choose to control us for their benefit.

You'll see why this practice was

taught to us as "evil." You can't control someone who is aware of who they are and are directly connected to their divinity.

Take your power back and utilize ancestral reverence to reach your full human potential. May you walk the path your ancestors dreamed about.

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