INTERRACIAL LOVE

Interracial Relationships Then and Now

In addition to black-to-black love, many blacks have found love with people of other races and ethnicities Before they could legally love freely, for example, black actress, singer and comedian Pearl Bailey married white musician Louie Bellson in 1952 The two met after Bellson became Duke Ellington’s first white musician. Because of the taboo and laws against interracial connections in those days, Ellington would claim that Bellson was of Haitian background when performing in the Southern states. Starting out in a time when few approved of their marriage, Bailey and Bellson developed an unbreakable love for 38 years until Bailey’s death in 1990.

After the 1967 U S Supreme Court decision in Loving v Virginia struck down state laws banning interracial marriage, marriages like theirs were technically legal but still not necessarily accepted by society At that time, interracial couples still only made up 3% of marriages in the U S , but this number eventually jumped to 19% in 2019. According to Gallup, approval of these marriages has also grown dramatically, with only 4% of U S adults approving marriages between blacks and whites in 1958 but 94% approving them in 2021

As stars in the public eye today, African American record producer Chris Ivery and his wife, Ellen Pompeo, a white actress best known for starring in Grey’s Anatomy, openly speak about race.

“The black experience is a powerful one, and I can see where that would be intimidating,” Pompeo said on Red Table Talk. “It's so much easier to celebrate it and just thank the universe for giving us people of color because it's a gift."

Similarly, singer-songwriter John Legend and his wife, model Chrissy Teigen, say that their blended family enriches their and their children’s lives Teigen has a white father and a Thai mother, while both of Legend’s parents are black.

“They’ll benefit from the fact they have black grandparents and a Thai grandparent and a white grandparent,” Legend told PEOPLE. “We have different experiences. … We learn from each other, and we love the things that are different about each other.”

African American tennis legend Serena Williams and her white husband, Alexis Ohanian, also show the strength of their love as it combats adversity and remains unwavering. In an interview with The New York Times, Williams expressed the different experiences she goes through as a black woman in comparison to Ohanian as a white man.

“He always gets to hear about the injustices that happen that wouldn’t happen if I were white,” she said. “It’s interesting. I never thought I would have married a white guy either, so it just goes to show you that love truly has no color, and it just really goes to show me the importance of what love is.”

One of the most famous international interracial couples is Meghan Markle and Prince Harry. This royal marriage resonates with many people because of their own personal experiences with racism. By merely existing and loving one another, the two have brought light to discussions about interracial relationships and have shown that even those with privilege cannot completely escape racism.

Potential Roadblocks To Black Love

Unfortunately, prevalent stereotypes about black men and women can make it difficult for them to find love in today’s world.

Two such stereotypes are that all black men are “Pookies and Ray Rays” and that all black women only want those types of men. (The names Pookie and Ray Ray are associated with nonconformists who may be dropouts, unemployed, ex-convicts, drug addicts, thugs, hustlers, unfaithful, and/or unmarried baby daddies of children with several women.) Those who ascribe to these stereotypes, of course, overlook or intentionally ignore the fact that they’re simply stereotypes and that countless examples defy them.

Another difficulty black women face in finding a happy and successful relationship is that black men have shorter life expectancy, have a higher rate of incarceration, and often look for relationships outside of the black community. According to an analysis of 2013 data by Pew Research Center, “Among blacks, men are much more likely than women to marry someone of a different race. Fully a quarter of black men who got married in 2013 married someone who was not black. Only 12% of black women married outside of their race.”

In this regard, a group of such black men, collectively known as Passport Bros, have been causing some controversy. These men only seek out foreign women, typically from other countries, for relationships because of their belief that that Western women are too heavily influenced by cultural and societal pressures that make them unsuitable to be wives.

While some blacks criticize the Passport Bros for “casting aside” black women for foreign women, others don’t have a problem with the relationships themselves but are rather disappointed or angry at the way some of these men publicly disparage black women. Even if some black women (and men) have negative qualities and might not be perfect partner material, the same is true for other races and ethnicities as well.

According to the Pew Research Center’s 2019 numbers, “Among those ages 25 to 54, 59% of Black adults were unpartnered in 2019. This is higher than the shares among Hispanic (38%), White (33%) and Asian (29%) adults. For most racial and ethnic groups, men are more likely than women to be unpartnered. The exception is among Black adults, where women (62%) are more likely to be unpartnered than men (55%).”

Regardless of the reasons, a much higher percentage of black men and women are unpartnered than those of other racial and ethnic groups, which can have important consequences for the individuals themselves and for the black community as a whole.

“Unpartnered adults have lower earnings, on average, than partnered adults and are less likely to be employed or economically independent,” Pew notes. “They also have lower educational attainment.”

While some women (and men) involuntarily remain unpartnered, for others it is a voluntary choice. Accomplishments such as getting higher education, establishing a career, or buying a house are all things that women can now finally do independently. Many single black women therefore choose to remain single until 40+.

Ultimately, whether to pursue a relationship is something that each man and woman can decide for himself or herself. Some may consider its economic and societal impact in their decision, while others may simply care about whether or not “love” hits them. The important thing to remember is that stereotypes about black love are just that—stereotypes. And while numerous celebrity couples provide examples of healthy black relationships, countless other successful relationships exist among everyday people who also maintain their love through thick and thin. For those seeking black love today, it’s still possible to find it—perhaps in a grocery store like Chris Ivery or during breakfast at a hotel like Serena Williams. As many have discovered, love arrives in numerous ways —and, often, unexpectedly. In fact, the next person you meet could be the one.